/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I run like hell because I don't want to die.

Hope to hell my Negotiation and Charisma scores are maxed out.

[x] Cuddle

Go back to sleep.

get killed horribly and eaten probably

Begin a grand adventure with her that questions the ethical boundary between reality and fiction.

Also, Kisume would make a great portable waifu. I'd carry her everywhere.

I run like hell because I don't want to die of AIDS.

>>4925223

Assuming you walk in and find her lying/sleeping/whatever there. I'd assume if anyone picked Patchy she'd be reading.

consensual sex in the missionary position

Tell her to get the fuck out of my house.

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!

>>4925239
freak

Make a run for the gate.

WHAT DOES THE SUN GODDESS COMMAND ME TO DO?

>>4925229

We have no idea how big that bucket is. I'd prefer Kogasa (I'm the OP) because of the large umbrella. I'm still not sure whether or not the girl or the umbrella is her real body, but I really don't care. Free umbrella.

Play with her nipples.

I'd become her servant, and then we would go on to take over the whole world.

I would be extremely scared because there is a monster of indeterminate form on my bed.

Talk to her and let her know of my troubles and problems. She can read my heart, so there is no reason not to be truthful.

She understands me and comforts me. We embrace.

[x]smoke more

>plant youkai

aw shit nig this could be heavy

Since Marisa is on my bed, I assume that she doesn't mind me getting in with her.

Enjoy the night. Make her my wife.

>>4925259

Isn't that her real form, though?

>>4925262
its 4/20

don't you have better things to be doing?

[ ] Cuddle
[ ] Fuck
[ ] Rape
[ ] Scream and run away
[ ] Get killed
[ ] Wake up
[ ] GENUFLECT
[X] SURPRISE

Ask if she's seen my copy of Foundation. Can't find that shit anywhere.

I attach myself to her genitals and secrete an enzyme that fuses me to her at that area. I then spend the rest of my days there, atrophying and losing more and more of my vital organs until I'm little more than a pair of male gonads on her body, fertilizing her in response to her egg cycle.

Realize that it's a blow-up doll.

>>4925292
Asimov, So good.

I wouldn't do anything.
As with real girls, I'd be too pussy to try.

>>4925292

>>4925263
probably stole it.

I CURRENTLY DON'T HAVE A BED.

My California king would not fit in my new domicile ;_;

>>4925288

after I get some sleep

>>4925282
Yes, but that's not what I see. Cameras and such have no minds to perceive her, which is why they show her true form.

spoon and cry myself to sleep because it cant be real

>>4925375
you can sppon by yourself?

>>4925357

Then she decides to be nice enough to show you her true form...or you simply catch her off-guard.

>>4925375
You just have to believe, Boof.

>>4925378
you can't?

Ask her "WHERE THE FUCK IS GENSOKYO?!"...

So I can find more of them.

>>4925391
I have no idea, I just always assumed it was a multiple person thing.

>>4925408

You can spoon a pillow.

>>4925415
I can't fall asleep unless I am doing this.

>>4925245
Only correct answer. You'd all be surprised as fuck.

WELL I GUESS I'D HAVE TO SHOVE MY COCK IN HER HURR HURRPEDURR

probably ask her "Why the hell are you eating my pillows? If you're that hungry, I'll make you some breakfast!"

Then I'd make her breakfast and we'd eat together.

>>4925432

Then you might as well have the one that's happiest when you're surprised. :3

Don't involve us in your fucking sex life, OP. Think up something on your own and leave us out of it.

Also get out.

Rip out her heart and consume it, as to gain her powers.

post on /jp/ like every other time I find stupid shit on my bed

Need details. Does the Touhou know how she got there? Is she as surprised to find herself in my bed as I am? Am I also in the bed, or did I walk in on her? Is she even awake?

Well first I'd check to see if she sucked any of my blood. Ask Remilia what she's doing in my bed, and ask How do I Vampire (non Twilight sparkly fag kind)


Or if I happen to be tied up and can't see where she is, go DAMNIT YUKARI!

Ill go tell my parents that theres a strange lady/girl sleeping in my bed and theres no space for me...

Then call the police.

Shit on the floor.

Did I find her there by waking up next to her? If so, probably go back to sleep. I've likely mistaken a pillow for her. If she's real she'll still be there when I wake up again in another 4 hours or so anyways.

slit her throat and suck the blood.

>>4925475

In order: Yes, no, your choice, your choice. She's doing whatever you'd expect her to be most likely doing on a bed. Suika would be passed out drunk, Patchy would be reading, Remilia would be sleeping, etc.

Somehow get a peice of her blood in my mouth so I become a youkai too.

Destroy her, that abomination doesn't belong on this earth.

>>4925502
Boring...

>>4925509
U racist man?

>>4925518

I'd figure that if they didn't know where they were the first thing that would happen is you would be dead on sight. At least have her be aware of her situation so you don't end up dead from the start.

That and it'd be pretty funny if you walked in on Yuyuko trying to eat your sheets.

Youkai cant kill me, ill call the raymoo services to protect me.

>>4925530
Not really. Most Touhou's arn't as BLARGH DEATH KILL as people think.

>>4925502
I hope Patchy likes Discworld cause that's all I've got in my room.

>>4925213
>touhou of your choice
So if I like every touhou... Do I get them all in my bed somehow lost or dropped there by power of physics?

Im sure my bed cant handle that if one of them moves or jumps...

:sadfrog:
"You will never find a Touhou of your choice on your bed." ;_;

>>4925557
Some day I will anon... Some day I will...

>>4925555

Favorite only. You need to pick one.

>>4925551

They aren't psychopaths, but they are powerful and would probably kill you if they thought you meant harm just out of pure shock. The only one who I can see NOT doing something like that is Suwako. She'd probably tackle you with a big hug.

I'd play Starcraft II with Kaguya.

She better have brought her own computer though.

>>4925606

Youkai and Gods don't see humans as threats. They don't have that kind of defensive impulse.

>>4925602
Damnit.

>>4925618

If they just got vaulted to a strange location, they'd probably be a bit on the defensive. It's more likely that they just kill you out of shock thinking that you actually are a perceivable threat, with "Oh, it was only a human...oops." as an afterthought.

>>4925606
I'd like to think that most Touhou's are mature/composed/etc enough to not immediately attack something that surprises them.

>>4925643

Youkai don't just randomly kill humans, except maybe in GRIMSOKYO.

>>4925646

The fact that Kogasa is still alive is proof that they don't.

>>4925654
Kogasa was never alive. Animated /= alive.

>>4925654

First, Kogasa is terrible at surprising people. Nobody except the most paranoid of people would be surprised by her.

Second, she CAN'T die according to spellcard rules. That's just how it is there. If those rules weren't in place, Yuuka would have killed everyone by now. Flan would have killed anyone that got in her way, and Kaguya and Mokou would be doing the same thing they do anyway.

>>4925667
>If those rules weren't in place, Yuuka would have killed everyone by now. Flan would have killed anyone that got in her way

Fuck you. Yuuka and Flandre are not an ax-murdering psychopaths.

Is she sleeping? I get in bed next to her because I'm tired

>>4925681
The hell would they need an ax for? For that matter, why would they murder one?

Ask her what she's doing in my bed.
Converse awhile.
Ask her if she's comfortable, allow her to sleep over.
Climb into bed and cuddle.
Fondle her tails.

>>4925667
Admit it, you were surprised during her Extra.

>>4925213
I have sex with her.

Sakuya sits perched on the bedposts, gesturing towards two cups of tea. I sip from my tea, tasting the slightly sweet flavor of chamomile. She knows I am a total milque-toast and require very light things. I smile at her, with a slight bow of appreciation. She looks distant, and her own cup slowly spills over onto my groin. She tries to amend the situation by drying off my groin with her apron. Frustrated, she takes off my pants and cleans me with a slightly dampened washcloth. At this point, my penis is getting fairly erect. She removes her now moistened apron and gingerly drops it onto the floor. She slowly takes me into her hands and rubs on a smooth lotion that she's warmed between her hands. I smile at her, and she simply remains focused on the task. I love her.

^ on crack

Discuss magical matters, spirituality, and the occult.

>>4925711
>Sakuya sits perched on the bedposts, gesturing towards two cups of tea. I sip from my tea, tasting the slightly sweet flavor of chamomile.

The next thing you know: You are already dead.

>>4925874

Maybe find her some regular clothes. Traipsing about in nothing but pajamas isn't very decent.

>>4925737
You've clearly thought about this before

>>4925932
It's normal when you are on a bed.

>>4925967

Then why does she wear them in the library?

>>4925981
She sleeps there.

>>4925988

There's no bed there! She should really get out more often so she's not so anemic.

>>4925213
I viciously rape and kill her. She's not human so it's not a crime.

>>4925995
Why so mean?

She's probably not going to panic and kill you as soon as you walk into the room.
She WILL panic and kill you if you walk into the room and try to rape/kill her.
Geez, people...

Probably the best choice is to get her to make you into some form of cute youkai...

>>4926031

Yukari it is then, right?

>>4925992
There is always a solution for the wise.

>>4925960
Not an hour goes by that I don't turn my thoughts to my beloved Sakuya. Her fastidiously plaited braids, in her soft, silvery hair, splayed across the pillow, the couch, the counter like fireworks, her sly glances from those seductive eyes, her delicate, nimble fingers, her cunning and her time manipulation, oh, she could manipulate me anytime. Let's not forget her lovely uniform, pressed and crisp each time the sun rises, draped across her lithe, lovely porcelain skin... she is perfect.

>>4931127
Fascinating.

make a shitty thread on /jp/ like this one.

get eaten
be happy