/jp/ - Otaku Culture

ALERT: HIGH LEVELS OF FOXOPLASMOSIS HAVE BEEN DETECTED IN THE THREAD. THIS THREAD IS NOW UNDER QUARANTINE

>>48641989
Wew, thank the Maou I love Lilim!

im safe, im inoculated with scale fever

Does anyone else's antivirus block the website hosting the individual MGE art archives?

>>48642030
The website is down rn, they're trying to get it up on another host now. Mira cucked out.

>>48642035
No, no the ones that are hosted on "st44244.ispot.cc/nextcloud/"

>>48641989
looks like last years batch has matured.

>>48641996
Kots are proud and strong creatures, they would never do that.

>>48642079
strong serious samurai neko is built to be headpatted and base-of-tail rubbed by carefree gaijin tourist/trader Anon who also brought in an accidentally-dangerous substance only known as "catnip"

>>48642110
Exactly, I will smoke with the neko

>>48642039
Works fine for me.

>Anon accidentally marries into the nyakuza

>>48642030
You use avast? It gives me a lot of false positives

>>48642133
Trickery! Shenanigans!

Tsurara-chan is really cool!

>>48642155
Is it really an accident if I purposely choose my favorite neko and become her bodyguard?

Am I using the bogey as a bodypillow, or is she using me as a bodypillow?

>>48642311
I'm guessing yes.

>>48642311
Tiger bogey, like a stuff animal needs hugs to survive

>>48642180
malwarebytes

>>48642330
Jinko Bogeys really love bouncing

Bros, what does the turbo button on my shogputer do?
There's also a sticker that says "never obsolete!", but that can't possibly be true.

Importing 'yip and their ginger beer in winter town was an excellent idea. Apo and 'nubis were a mixed bag. What specie should be next?

>>48642392
The human anonymous.

>>48642392
wurm

>>48642461
We're already legion, hiding in the snow or in front of the fireplace.
>>48642463
An Ice wurm, what kind of personality would go with well for her?

>>48642472
Kuudere

>>48642477
Poker face retard wurm seems like a dangerous combo

>>48642392
I dunno, how's about an Alaskan Field Maus?

>>48642513
Cute mouse, what's her personality? Anxious?

>>48642551
I dunno, call Miller on the codec and ask

>>48642551
>fearless until she isn't
>workaholic until she has rubbies or is tucked under a blanket
>loves music, almost too much, enters a trance state
>loves light wrestling and play
>serial nuzzler
>grabs you with both hands and licks you lip a drip feeder
>has grand fantasies of being a mighty adventuring hero

>>48642622
Sounds like she would perfectly fit in winter town, maybe as a delivery girl

>>48642463
>should have taken that left turn at albuquerque

>>48642666
She does singing telegrams for literal peanuts.
Even for regular parcels she'll carol at your door until you come pick it up. And she knows hundreds of carols.
Please do not resist the urge to grab her by the ears and shut her up!

>>48642035
>Cucked out
When dumb fuck lawmakers cannot tell the difference between drawings and actual abusive material there isn’t much they can actually do.

Never trust a plant.

>>48642758
don't worry I've got a deep seated fear/revulsion to weird plants and fungi, I ain't going anywhere near them

>>48642392
SPOODERS!!!!!!!!!!!11111ONE

i want to fight her

>>48643038
Sounds like a hard one, bug and cold are not good friends. Maybe a spooder who loves making clothes? Always wearing a scarf and using café to stay warm but a little bit drunk

lilims should just make stuff like devil fruit from one piece and hand it out to human women
random transformations a go!

>>48643256
Snek and cold are not good friends either, and yet apopsicle.
Spooder can love making clothes.
Spooder can wear scarf, and leg warmers, and another scarf, and a big coat, and drink hot cocoa so she does not get drunk off coffee.
Also she can have little spooder booties to keep her feetsies warm.
Also hugs. Spooders need hugs or they will die.

>>48643038
Sounds like a hard one, bug and cold are not good friends. Maybe a spooder who loves making clothes? Always wearing a scarf and using coffee to stay warm but a little bit drunk

>>48643279
In that case something like a tarentula, they're used to stay at home, selling the best hand crafted garnement. Waiting for the perfect anon to fall in her trap (buy the special set of clothes).

Perhaps a somewhat homosexual topic, but what kind of incubus would you like to be?

>sea wife
>breathe underwater and swim super slicklike
>grasslands wife
>run really fast so you can keep up with your hoofed beauty on your own two legs. feel the wind in your hair (or shiny dome)
>shog wife
>shog
>winged wife
>become uncannily good at impressions and funny voices which amuses her to no end
>also, you are now attuned to her feathers and build an actual wingsuit out of them to fly around in, but you gotta git gud
>winter wife
>tremendous legendary strength, but only for the purposes of carrying firewood & christmas trees, hunted game, and rolling up and assembling snowmen
>esoteric snowball acumen (perfect slushballs) and throwing ability (can hit a bullseye 20 miles away, if you're allowed to charge up long enough (tongue sticking out is mandatory))
>demon/et. al. wife
>sick ass tail, wings, and horns
>toggleable shadowform
>can say whatever cringe shit you want and everybody loves it
>chesh wife
>your life is a joke
>...your life IS a joke
>everything is extremely fucking funny and so are you
>unparalleled abs which she likes to sink her claws into

>>48643458
I just want no refraction period, huge libido and no worrying about human health problems.

>>48643458
>sick ass tail, wings, and horns
If you want to alp just come out and say it, homo

>>48643434
How can she smug

>>48643765
He bought

Come home Sarubros.

>>48642758
She'll have to tell me the truth once I drink her tea. She'll be honorbound.

I don't know why Shogs bother cooking when shogmilk has all the nutrients a man needs and it tastes good.

>>48644062
shogloaf has been a family recipe for generations

>>48643458
Give me endurance, strength and vigor, I don't need more. I still want to die one-day

scale polishing is hard work

>>48644221
Unnecessary, too. She flies, the sun shines on her glittering scales and blinds airline pilots and then where are you?

>>48644150
I don’t get it.

>>48644221
Thats why you marry a nice olm instead of a dragon

>>48642030
Sounds shady.

How big you like your slime cores?
I never see anything beachball sized

>>48644589
Big enough to go out of her during sex and travel into the D as her new nest.

>>48642030
You succuvirus is getting jealous

Help me decide between these two story ideas for the contest:
>Ogre garbageman/removal service who likes picking fights dealing with new recruit anon
>Werecat and cheshire train conductors on luxury scenic railway

>>48644684
Oh no, a Krautrock Girl!

>>48644684
if only there was some way to understand her intentions

>>48644668
Ogre, there's not many Ogre stories.

>>48644668
There’s next to no Ogre stories who actually play them straight.

>>48644721
>the violent ravening drunk is beaten up and thrown out of town
>the poor humans have to pick up the pieces and rebuild
>you meet your lovely village girl wife when you volunteer to rebuild her parents house along with the rest of the village
>the heartwarming climax is when the village gets together after and helps you build your new farm to live in

dogs smell

>>48644727
Wait, where's the ogor?

>>48644668
I like kots and trains.

You know you've found the right one when you look at her and you're reminded of summertime back when things were good and carefree years ago.

For me, it's anubis that does this

>>48644773
Drunk under a bridge.

>>48644813
She's literally me.

>>48644813
Troll-chan finally got a roommate... but she's about to find out... living together is harder than it looks

>>48644826
i will not be depositing the troll toll in the troll hole

Sex with smug loli monsters

>>48644721
>>48644700
Fair. I'm not planning on dumbing down how strong, violent and prone to anger ogres are. Won't be a total barbarian, but she likes drinking, fighting and general shithousery.
Equally big anon or small plucky anon who puts the extra effort in?

>>48644826
>>48644834
>>48644813
>So this is our bridge...
>Aye?
>We maintain it for all the folks who pass by it and of course our house is under it
>Aye
>Now do you know what to do when travelers want to cross the bridge?
>Aye!
>And what would that be?
>I'll throw a rock at 'em!
>...
>A big rock.

getting lifted up and stolen by the tail of a buff demon and being unable to escape while she's are completely oblivious

>>48644839
Go full femdom, the seething will make it fun

>>48644839
Small guy with a driver's licence so he can drive the truck while she's sloshed

>>48644839
Reverse ryona would be nice

>>48644852
>>48644848
This, I can already see the fr*g crying

>>48644852
Do any anons enjoy the idea of really being beaten up into submission and turned into a house husband for a strong monster girl?

>>48644869
i prefer an evenly matched fight myself

>>48644869
Personally no, it's about sending a message to maledomfags and especially the fr*g. They need to fuck off.

I like the idea of just grabbing a monster and taking her home, not necessarily a violent situation, that's why I like Zombies so much
You cantake them home, bathe them and then go balls deep inside her

>>48644979
https://files.catbox.moe/2a7x93.jpg
This but Jiangshies

>>48644979
trouble is, they can do that to you too
>anon picks up boggleboe
>krampus picks up both of them

>>48644684
Ich verstand nicht?

>>48644688
That really is a cat.

It's goatin' time with your bapho neighbor!

>>48645071
The time of artists is really over.

>>48644962
>>48644862
I’m not even convinced the frog is a real person so much as he’s an invention of anon insanity

>>48645079
he mighta been real at one time, but you know how these things go.

She's really in the mood for goatin'!

>Chance of escape: 0%
Better start planning for daughterus!

>>48645079
He was.
>>>/jp/thread/48539554#p48543781
You'll have to follow this chain about dreadnoughts but you can probably find the story somewhere.

>>48644979
Be careful with monsters pretending to be undead to get picked up by anons

>>48645108
I still don't get why you keep bullying him. They're no 40k story in your link, he gave up.

>>48643038
>fluffy spiders that knit sweaters
comfy thoughts like this are nice.

>>48642392
Lava golem.
Someone has to be the Sauna manager, might as well put "a molten-hot pile of rock: the mamono" in charge of that.

>>48645079
Personally I'm really tired of people calling out boogeymen when some topic they don't like appears, that behavior reminds me of the worst boards in this site
Here it has always been ignoring and report, not starting shit

>>48643458
I want Shoggoth to rebuild me on a molecular level. So many inefficiencies. From the usual ones like "dick could be bigger so it's more fun for me and my wife(s)" and "being flatfooted is pain for long periods of walking" to some stranger ideas that once got into my brain and never left like "the cells in our eyes are wired wrong, with the wire going in front of the light receptor cell, that's why we see badly and have 'dark spots' where we don't see anything at all because thats where the wires are routed out of the eye" and "being autistic is pain for long periods of talking" but i feel i'll need a flayer for that last one. Or a kikimora to help me out of my depression and self-doubt. Or an equally autistic Lich/Anubis/Automaton who understands what i'm saying.

>>48645285
jubjubs are good listeners

>>48645181
No, he wrote it. Then got bullied. I don't understand why either. I just don't think anons here are the most stable.

>>48645074
Each year AI art gets better and better. Soon it'll be able to copy all artstyles and be free from imperfections. Next will be video. Then as technology is able to immerse your other senses, we may just be able to live in a world where you can experience all of it with of all your senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Digital monster girl wives are just around the corner!

>>48645491
derivative AI is poisoned from the root up. it cannot create, only regurgitate. whether or not you're satisfied with that is up to you

>>48645194

>>48645194

>>48645401
So are they a full version somewhere?

>>48642392
Import jinko

>>48645604
they won't let me, she's endangered

I am weak to ________.

>>48645513
You know what they say. Good artists borrow, great artists steal.

>>48645625
That's bullshit, where did you heard that crap?

>>48645610
Demon lips.

>>48644839
>>48644848
Ogres are pure maledom monsters

>>48645610
Tomboy chesh

>>48644839
>You ever been raped by an onion?
>...no?
>Then I guess ogres aren't like onions.

>>48645216
I find it amusing at times but your position is understandable. There’s been plenty of bogeymen and no bogey women so it’s disappointing.

>>48645610
Monster anus

>>48645610
fire-typing

>>48645758
I made this post. I want to rim a hellhound.

>>48645758
I too am enticed by the hole that expels feces!

Poop chute > Love hole

>>48645610
high explosives

bug

>>48645610
Fat loli ass, and the flawless pale skin of high level undead species.

>>48645606
Just tell them it's for reproduction and they'll let you.
>>48645610
Jinkos.

>>48645887
the process to apply for a breeder's license seemed kind of shady

>>48645610
Fat tails.

>>48645963
Sanae!? What happened?

>>48646154
im afraid she has fallen victim to the scaly brides incident.

>>48645784
But the anus is a love hole, specially for monsters

>>48645647
I don't remember writing this

>>48646182
It's also used for sports

>>48645647
she keeps signing contracts with a lipstick mark

>>48646184
>>48646231
How can a god-fearing man resist these hussies?

>>48646232
No flirting in the workplace!

>>48646240
Kiss her back to throw her off balance

>>48646247
begging to get wing-hugged on top of her.

>>48646252
nobody said anything about demon-judo

>>48646252
It's a fine line between a clever defense and provoking her predatory instincts, but victory requires risk.

>>48646252
>>48646263
shes a rookie. didnt even coil her tail around his leg

>kiss her to throw her off balance
>get leg locked, hug locked, wing hugged, tail worming its way into your pants
Literally just stepped on the mine.

>>48646280
No no, she's ensuring he remains unspooked until it's too late. Deems are clever and deceptive.

>>48646280
contractless behavior

>>48646284
>lip locked

>>48646243
What are workplaces if not just a way to trick men into interacting with monster girls?

>>48646342
i hope to be a sinecure someday

>>48646342
A war zone?

for me, it's cheshire. intelligent, nihilistic, and with a wicked fat booty.

>>48646342
An estimated 35% of offices in Monster Girl City are made by Tanukis, to give their husbands something to do all day- they don't do a lot of strenuous work but they're kept at a safe and manageable level of busy.

It's like giving a zoo animal a ball for enrichment, and it makes the men feel like they're contributing despite the fact that the primary business model of these "offices" is to sell pictures of men in ties to monsters with an OM (Office Man) inclination.

At a higher pay grade, you can get pictures of their after-work drinking parties where occasionally someone gets a bit tipsy and takes their tie off.

The Tanukis who subscribe to these services (and keeping these 'jobs' involves a pricy monthly fee) like them because a tired husband will allow them to dote, and consider it a healthy way to socialize their husbands.

>>48646420
it's a good program after overhunting devastated the wild salaryman population

>>48646420
A common way for rich monsters to 'train' a newly acquired husband into depending on their wives for money is to subscribe him to a 'job', and then after several months to a year terminate the subscription, which has him laid off in a company restructuring.
After two to three cycles of this, even the most steadfast breadwinner is usually ready to accept that his Dragon/Wight/sugar momma will pay his way and is rapidly on the way to becoming a doting househusband for a growing family.

>>48646420
>you can get pictures of their after-work drinking parties where occasionally someone gets a bit tipsy and takes their tie off.
This is some advanced male stripper lore.

>>48646434
That's a little TOO manipulative, I feel

>>48646450
it is danuki-coded but i don't care much for it either

Sucking on a dormouse's fingers is like sucking on a sugary, molasses-flavored candy.
Sticking a dormouse in a hot room is like having a scentsy turned on.
Sleeping with a dormouse is like sleeping in a heavenly bed: warm, soft, pleasant smelling, no musk, and with loves of sweet, syrupy kisses.

>Cerberus monster wife
>Left head is a wild, uncontrollable, foul-mouthed delinquent (controls left arm and left torso)
>Right head is a quiet, nervous, snot-nosed and sickly with no notable qualities (controls right arm and right torso)
>Center head is a calm but stern nerd with confidence (controls the legs and everything else not mentioned)
>Most importantly: all of them love you in their own ways

Would you rather read a MGE exclusive or a post-portal setting story? Theme will be gremlin invention.

>>48646554
gremlins thrive with more tech around

>>48645610
spores

>>48646568
you cant even see them.

>>48646554
>read a MGE exclusive
Not really.

horny autist vs medusa
Who wins?

>>48646554
I think either is fine, but if it helps you decide then I think post-portal story works with iterations on modern technology, while in pure MGE Grem's approach can result in something less recognizable.

>>48646586
always bet on eros

>>48646586
despite their overpowered toolkit medusa tend to lose most matchups
especially the chesty ones

>>48646586
Medusa.

Anon can't use her horny antics if he's a statue.

>>48646586
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4W-aKEsHBw

>>48646682
you wouldnt fall for something as simple as blue skin. would you, Anon?

>>48646702
No

>>48646586
Horny man will buy those cool mirror shades (sunglasses) in an attempt to be cool and woo the girl so he could bowchickawowow
Medusa is doomed to fall to her own paralysys.

>>48646702
these things happen

>>48646586
Both

>>48646702
We have blue skin at home

>>48646682
>>48646702
Blue skin is too sexy. But then again purple is sexy too, and brown, and pure deathly white, and...

>>48646682
>>48646702
>>48646729
>>48646798
what is this? some sort of forest of the blue skin?

>>48646801
i'm starting to think this guy likes women

>>48646586
Me (horny autist)

>>48646836
Clever, I laughed.

what is the ideal intelligence level of your monwife?

>>48646859
>what is the ideal intelligence level of your monwife?
autist

How do I drive off stray catgirls trying to seduce and mate with me? They keep invading my lawn and backyard and trying to rub their asses against me....

>>48646903
Hellhound scent should keep them away. Find one and rub your body against her. You get the best results when she's sweaty.

>>48646903
get a lazy cat and rub her scent all over you. this is best achieved by cuddling with her once every 8 d̶a̶y̶s̶ h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ minutes

>>48646903
Adopt a cat so she's not a stray anymore

>>48646934
this will only make them more aggressive, as they will see it as a matter of species pride. they can tell that you havent done the deed yet by the fact that you arent using crutches- as is common for men first few months after meeting a hellhound.

>>48646966
>they can tell that you havent done the deed yet
I don't see a reason not to take the next step.

i think my shog has autism.

>>48647058
Mabye move the core down to the chest? There is a lot more space in there for it to grow and improve her intelligence.

>>48643458
>but what kind of incubus would you like to be?
Whichever one makes my mental health better. I just wanna feel good again. I haven't felt like myself in 20 years and I'm tired of having to mask it all the time especially in front of people who claim they love and care about me but they only love this carefully crafted mask I made so that they could like me. No one is ever going to truly love me. This is why I come here. No one on earth will truly love me so maybe the people I make in my head will love me. It doesn't matter what species she is, in my head she truly loves me and allows me to be myself around her.

>>48644684
I only speak Freedom lady.

>>48646903
Reject the cat girls and they'll eventually invoke the forbidden ritual to summon a master cat to break you in for them.
It's already over for you. You just get to decide how bad you go down.

>>48646903
Get a German Shepherd or Husky Kobold. Or if you live in colder climates a Malamute Kobold might be your best bet.

Did you hear about the photographer arrested by Hatter PD?
He was convicted of hardcore spornography!

I will scare the monster hoes away with loud metal music that hurts their sensitive animal ears

>>48647202
hound bait. everyone knows that the only surefire way to repel monsters using music is to play mathcore. that is. as long as there isnt a legendary hellnubis around

>>48647151
Wide hips are the only feature that really matters to me, and I hate that.

Best Momster/Auntster?

>>48647413
Ushi-Onis

>>48647413
kiki

>>48647288
it do be like that
except i don't hate it

>>48647413
Mom, why are you naked and laying on the floor sleeping?

>>48647483
she's not naked, she's clearly wearing her leaves

>>48647463
Ushi-Oni!

Ushis!

date night with the wife

Did you know that this thread is now owned lock, stock, and barrel by SPOODERS?
It's true!

>>48647581
Ushi Wife = Happy Life

ushis are dumb
not best spider
not best cow
she's just a dork!

>>48646342
>start new job
>monster coworker next to you instantly starts chatting you up and flirting a bit
>try to rebuff her as politely as possible
>shift the conversation by asking what she does at the company
>she starts sweating and stammering saying that she works the accounts
>tell her that you're an accountant too and that you look forward to working with her
>she nervously laughs and tells you she'll teach you everything she knows
>pass by her cubicle later that day and find her watching free intro accounting tutorials

>>48647594
Ushis are smart--they're weavers!
Ushis are BEST SPIDER and BEST COW!
Some Ushis are dorks, though. But cute dorks!

>>48647594
>ushis are dumb
maybe
>not best spider
>not best cow
wrong
wrong
>she's just a dork!
maybe, I see that as a positive!

I would really like to hold an Ushi's paw. Also, I wonder how they would paint their nails. I bet that'd be really neat.
Imagine--a gothy Ushi who paints her nails and horns black, and her seal is just black text on a black seal.
Black.
Ushi.
Lipstick.

>>48647582
Spider pedipalps leg-locking you, you leg-locking the spider at the same time. An advanced technique for advanced spider wrestling.

>>48647643
I would also hug her tightly and tell her I love her.

>>48647643
she'd say that to if she was latched to your neck like a leech.

>>48647639
>how they would paint their nails

>antiquity
>employ the services of a venerated spider talon etcher and painter

>industrial era
>open special spider-brand nail paint cans
>(get help from your husband, he knows how to do the thing with the screwdriver!)
>dip your talons in
>drip drip drip
>dab dab dab
>bake them in front of gremtech UV bulb
>swirl paints together for cool inky effects

>modernity
>get hydro dipping kit
>can create complex pictures and patterns that wrap onto the talon
>lasts a long time but hard to remove
>(get help from your husband, he can get to them from all angles and knows how to use the talon sander just right)

>>48647754
omg, so much real estate for design work. Very cute.

I'm going to make a fake office and charge monsters money to let them live out their fantasies. There will be tons of broom closets everywhere, all the desks will face the door with front panels that go all the way to the ground, the caffeteria will have romantic lighting and isolated booths, there will be a lovely little area outside for "employees" to eat their lunch, and how high she is in the corporate ladder will correspond to how much she pays (or under, if she's into that). Does anyone here want to spend a few minutes a day pretending to type into a spreadsheet and several hours flirting with dorky monsters in pencil skirts? I offer competitive salary and benefits.

>>48647754
>employ the services of a venerated spider talon etcher and painter
I want to be that.

>>48647413
Shoggy

>>48647815
Imagine the difficulties inherent in being among the first spider talon artisans. Wealthy ushi fresh out of the onsen, relaxing in her fine robes, meditating in her aromatherapy while awaiting the nail artist and... a man comes in with a toolbox.

You can't just get by with your art skills, you'd have to be a good conversationalist with highborn sensibilities too. Because the silence will be broken. She's just too curious. You'd need nerves of steel to keep your composure while you're slid under her like a wagon mechanic, too.

>>48647857
Alternatively you could go the less particular route, and do stuff like kid's or adult's birthday parties and tribal outreach. Might be fun to have a crowd oohing and aahing in a language you may or may not understand, and tugging your pant hems.

>>48647885
>adult's birthday parties
>they always ask for the "chivalrous Paladin"
>never the fun jester
>4 years of clown college just to be some hags thinly veiled armor fetish

>>48647815
>spider talon etcher and painter
Too late, my scale polishing and cleaning kit is in the mail. Just wait until those dragons see me whip out the ultrasonic cleanser.

>>48647931
>Hearken unto me now, madam! Have you ever seen a holy knight that can JUGGLE? Behold! What ho! Zounds!
>ohh very good wowww hey listen i have this cursed sorceress's staff in my-
>bogie slaps her mouth shut and hands you a 4th bowling pin with deep lust in her eyes

>>48648068
what happens when you are forced to start juggling panties and bras?

>"You stand in the presence of an empress, human.... Kneel. Now."

>>48648154
i didnt vote for you

>>48648154
She looks to be only four feet high....

>>48648195
You say that like its bad.

>>48646434
No way you guys actually like this shit?

>>48648195
Perfect for putting on a high shelf

>Walk into a noodle shop in the back alleys
>All the fancily dressed foxes inside seem baffled that there would be a customer looking for some food
>No menu or anything, just a 45 minute wait for some ramen
>Best noodles I've ever had, nice old fox who brought it out tells me it's on the house
>Go back the next day to find that the shop closed down
what an odd place. Noodles were delicious though

>>48648245
They just moved the noodle shop next your house
No worries,now you can have noodles and fox everyday!

All MGs deserve headpats
even 40,000 old fox hag wives that have strong sense of pride and dignity will be headpatted

>>48648290
https://files.catbox.moe/3runes.png

>>48647931
How many Cheshires flunk outta clown college every year?

>>48648290
What if she's 10 feet tall? I feel like using a ladder would upset her.

ALL MONSTERS DESERVE IS A smooch ON THE lips.

>>48648154
"It's past your bedtime sweetie, get some rest so your mom and I can make you a mee sister!"

>>48648290
"It's past your bedtime sweetie, get some rest so your mom and I can make you a new sister!"

>>48648154
I'll overthrow her.

>>48648154
"It's past your bedtime sweetie, get some rest so your mom and I can make you a new sister!"

>>48647609
Something about this pic makes me think MGE should've been a more maledom originated setting

>>48648312
even hebi?

>>48648337
Ushis are good girls, they're just REALLY REALLY horny. Once they get some of that out of their system they're top tier waifus.

>>48648346
They may break your bed, but they'll never break your heart

>>48648343
No, not hebi. Miss Hebi eats the rats who try to nest in Miss Ryu's shrine and she doesn't even cook them first!

>>48648383
That's true. Also, they're easily disarmed by you making the first move.
Granted, if you make the first move on an Ushi, she's going to make the second, third, fourth and FIFTH moves, but it's so cute to see her frazzled.

>>48648384
cooking destroys nutrients in exchange for energy availability
intelligent hebi gets her energy from rice and nutrients from raw animal
ignore the glowing red eyes roaming the shrine grounds at 3 AM it's just the gardener

>>48648384
>Miss Hebi eats the rats who try to nest in Miss Ryu's shrine and she doesn't even cook them first!
>t. miss ryu

>>48648402
>shrine maidens keep stealing your supplicants
>breed more shrine maidens
>the odds of a guy actually making it to you get lower and lower every generation of hebis (which there are quite a few of now)
>hebis pity you so much they let you catch the bouquet at every wedding
>villagers begin to fear you as thunderstorms become more and more common

>>48648410
>hebis pity you so much they let you catch the bouquet at every wedding
>one anon finally makes it to ryu
>sees all her flowers and comments how she must really like flowers
>decades of pent up lust destroys poor anon

Did you know, that if you nacho cheese on nacho, then cheese nacho taste chip nacho taste you cheese? this is because nacho chip cheese on chip nacho, cheese chip taste nacho you

>>48648195
it's good for morale

>>48648425
I don't have enough anime girls with question marks around their heads to properly respond to you.

>>48648410
i could make it past the hebi defense force
i just don't want to

>>48647058
Rude. Now you've made her cry.

>>48648305
Good, strangle the dark elf

>>48648154
>i ain't paying taxes to you, if thats what your hinting at

>>48648488
You will pay the Single Man Tax and you will love it

>>48648488
>portals open
>get sent very angry letters from the MGCIRS threatening legal action because you haven't paid taxes in 20 years
>finally decide that since the regime change you can talk them out of paying taxes
>go to MGIRS building with a briefcase, calculator, and your old W-2s
>sit down in front of a ultra hag Danuki
>"Good you're here. Take off your pants and lie on the futon behind you."

>>48648505
That's a good way to radicalized men against monsters

>>48648509
Yes, by having men marry the monsters can they avoid the tax
I myself just took a random zombie home and life is sweet

>>48648509
And what they gonna do about? Go out and confront the monsters?

>>48644668
Train train, I love my station!

>>48648526
Domestic terrorism and armed robbery or just joining the order, they have a really attractive tax policy once you completed your military service

>>48648538
>Domestic terrorism and armed robbery or just joining the order
All of which lead to marriage with a monster girl
The illusion of choice if you will

>>48648505
money doesn't mean a lot in a post-scarcity society

>>48648538
>Domestic terrorism
>Breaking News!
>local man throwing empty egg cartons at monsters as plunged hagville into chaos
>studies show that it is a single man that has been taxed too much
>HAG SWAT are in pursuit and expecting to bring this fiend to justice
>more at 11

>>48648565
You get taxed in sex though, money has little value for monsters

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember to hug the mofu to stay warm at night.
Squirrel mofu in particular is able to serve as a body pillow, though doing so too often may make the wife attached to such mofu jealous.

>>48648631
>though doing so too often may make the wife attached to such mofu jealous
Hope she doesn't find out I put googly eyes on the mofu

After a lot of soul searching, I have decided:
Kej

>>48648597
I was thinking about bomb planting and destruction of vital infrastructure but that's work too

How's greenwormfag doing nowadays?

>>48647609
>(Omitted for Length)

>>48648735
Like Rodin's Thinker, he is lost deep it contemplation.

pray to wurm

>>48648809
No, I saw her skinning a deer and laughing like a little girl. She's fucked up.

Phat Porc Posterior

>>48648874
We call that 'ham' in the business

>>48648865
that was just a hunter wurm doing hunting
you need to visit the wurm nun for prayers

>>48646493
Makeout monsters are a cut above the rest.

>>48648877
It was the same wurm, she's a schyzo. I hope she didn't saw me. I don't want to get kill by this monster. Once I get m my payment, I leave this hellhole, they're all mad

>>48648899
>thinking he can leave wurmland
dont make The Wurm come out to get you

>>48648908
You need to help me anon, come, take my place if you like wurm so much

>>48648918
sorry anon, im the one with the camera for the wurm adventures

>>48648899
No, it can't be the same Wurm because they've got different hats

>>48648929
Fuck, she's knocking on my door. I'm going to do it if she don't fu

>>48648931
another anon lost to the wurm hole
let this be a cautionary tale for us all

I'm starting to grow fond of chubby dragons after reading quite a few monster doujinshi

>>48648939
Ok, she just left and gave me a nicely cooked stew (with deer meat). She also apologized a lot for scaring me and understand that I want to leave town but even it makes her sad. Man, I don't know what to think now, I made her cry...

>>48648946
>making a wurm cry
you either go to the wurm mines or marry that wurm and make her happy

I feel like the subject of wormholes and especially FTL travel via wormhole would be very dangerous to discuss around worms and wurms and wyrms.

>>48648952
Yeah, I'm going to her sermon tonight and I'm going to cook her an apple pie to thank her for the stew. She still spooks me but I will hide it

>>48648954
>Be Star Captain of a space faring vessel
>Ask Navigator Cheshire to bring up an image of the wormhole on the screen
>It's a picture of her butthole from last night after I fell asleep

>>48648959
>go to sermon and offer the pie
>wurm nun says it wasnt her
>hunter wurm appears and cries that she's sorry
>have a heart to heart talk with the wurms as you and hunter wurm eat the pie while nun wurm mediates(and takes a slice)

>>48648954
>worm is faintly embarrassed by the conversation but doesn't want to look immature or perverted so she pretends not to be aware of any possible double entendre
>wyrm uses the conversation as plausible deniability for some explicit sexual harassment/flirting
>wurm is extremely confused

>spend 45 minutes giving a wormhole lecture to a bunch of MGU undergrads
>for the last 20 minutes the Wurm in the front row has been glancing down at her own lap with an increasingly bewildered expression
>decide to drag the lecture out all the way to the bell so you don't have time to take questions

>>48648966
Lord captain will laugh at her joke one day or fuck her out of annoyance, same romance ending anyway

>>48649024
I can't stay mad at her and that smile.

>>48649024
>Kiki remove this annoying creature from my sight

>>48649042
>cheshire gets erased with a broom
kiki is too dangerous

>>48649047
my ever dependable seneschal
truly nothing surpasses her

>>48649038
Me neither, it's just too pure and full of joy
>>48649042
The kiki romance is really boring, maybe you should try the shog if you like maids and elder god from beyond

>>48649047
I once saw her suplex an ushi and tank a gazer beam without even flinching

you lot can't just talk about romance paths without going into detail about each of them

I am incapable of imagining a Kiki on a spaceship without her having Geordi La Forge's visor from Star Trek TNG.
I don't know why.

>>48649058
kiki is too powerful
dont say you dont want to drink her soup! dont...!

>>48649061
Let's not, it was a fun bit but the source material should not be discussed here. The romance paths are all disappointing anyway.

>>48649067
Who would be Worf?

>>48649088
Salamander

>>48648410
>take a quest to slay the dragon
>assume she's one of those fire-breathing dragons
>get past the hebis thanks to 100% fire resistance on equipment
>ryu's face when she sees you brought nothing to fight a water dragon

>>48649074
>most surface level reference to something for basic aesthetic
>"no you can't heckin' write something I can tangentially connect it to thing I don't like!"
he isn't asking you to paste monsters onto it 1:1 anon
christ no wonder we barely get any decent story/green chains anymore...

>>48649010
I lol'd.

>>48649103
I don't want to start a shit show by mistake. Getting burned once was enough. You're free to do it

>>48649061
we've got;
>annoying cat
>dependable maid
>eldritch maid
>zealous valk
>crazy gremlin
>kuu automaton
>shy flayer
>smug elf

The nice thing about monsters is that you can fess up to them right away to lock in your romance (even if they act shocked or disgusted at first), but you can also continually miss cues or take it way slower than expected yet never be locked out from being too late or too neutral. She'll be there and be happy to hear your intentions with her come out no matter how long you take.

Some monsters have a temper, though. You keep taking her aside just to have these normal pleasant conversations, and promising her you'll do what you can to help her recover from her past and realize her dreams, without any confession afterwards. You lead into these perfect moments to finally deliver the heartrending flirt, and you sidestep into some noble platitude to justify yourself. Just what's the big fucking idea, huh? Do you do this with every girl? God, what the fuck!

>Cheshire
>40k
>samefagging
Unironically kill yourself fr*g, you're a fucking nuisance and now everyone can see it. You're bringing this shit and act innocent afterward because a bunch of faggot keep giving (you). You and Mick are a plague. Hope you die alone and forgotten by everyone, loveless white flag cunt

>>48649050
>you should try the shog if you like maids and elder god from beyond
there's enough nonsense going on on this ship as there is!

>>48649191
might as well go all the way

Can you faggots stop replying to his 40k shitpost and report him instead ffs

>>48649095
>Salamander as Worf
>Kikimora as Geordi
Who would be Riker, Troi, and Beverly? Would you take the captains chair? Or be the Wesley Ceusher of the group? What about DS9?
We all know the Danukis would be Quark and Rom.

>>48649050
>>48649124
>>48649191
>>48649195
>chesh constantly pulling pranks on the job
>shog seeping in through the seams of reality
>engineering constantly reporting some new insanity below deck
>elf constantly lecturing you about her superiority (which she seems to do more than her actual job)
>kiki VERY insistent that she stands guard in your room whilst you sleep
never a dull moment on ship

>>48649198
Yeah let's stop talking about 40K and talk about Star Trek but with MGs!

>>48649218
what does the elf do?

>>48649221
we're not entirely sure...

Fuck you all, you deserve this shithole. You're friendly with a white flag pest and ignored me when I warned you.

>>48649221
>>48649229
>ask elf what her job on board is
>she gets get uncharacteristically nervous and starts deflecting

>>48649221
What do elves exactly do? Not just in that specific case but as a whole? I know they're like ultra hippies but that's all I really know. What the hell's their shtick?

/mgt/ is now a French colony
You vill eat ze pawguette.

>>48649230
Then leave. Bye bye.

>>48649243
dragons aren't so tough...

>>48649243
Truly, you can squish any MG!

>>48649241
trying to keep their "I'm better than you in every conceivable way" act together when in the presence of human boys

>>48649257
So they're ultra snobby, "elite" hippies?

>>48649262
they try to be

>>48649177
>You and Mick are a plague.
they won tho
they run these threads and every mg thread on /d/ too.

/mgt is French-Irish condominium under Chinese trust management