/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>48442629
NO! I will be COLD and MAKE IT MONSTER GIRLS' PROBLEM.

>Plant-based diet.

>>48442612
gargoyles are neat

>>48442631
That is Yeti's problem, then.

>>48442631
you should hug glacies. they're endangered

>>48442648
Fuck's sake, even elementals are pulling the "endangered" card now?

>>48442648
And for a good reason. Glacies are one of the most forgettable monsters there is, and get overshadowed by the superior tsurara onna anyways. How many of you have evem read her profile.

>>48442654
it's only got to work once

Glacies are for the bros who think feet are disgusting.

I can be easily convinced by any monster with HUGE titties

Ah it appears I've been abducted

>>48442629
Yetis need all the love and cuddles they deserve

>>48442721
MASSIVE dorks

>>48442745
Yes, that IS what I'm into.

>>48442730
Yetis actually need less love amd cuddles than they deserve.

>>48442753
dork lich

>>48442763
She has fallen into a trap of consumerism

>>48442773
a true tragedy

>She's cheesed to see you

awww yisss, gacha and AI slop spam, the thread is off to a good start

>>48442629

>>48442892
Are you going to contribute positively to the health of the thread or just drag is down further with bitch moaning?
Because if we're being honest, the latter is equally as bad.

>>48442907

You WILL eat the shogbread.

>>48442809
Isn't this what you wanted anon? A world where mamono don't rape or flirt anymore. A world where men finally have the peace of mind and can feel safe going outside. A world where all mamono have become the dork losers devoid of confidence.
I hope you are happy now.

>Waking your sleep mouse wife in the morning

>>48442915
You are retarded, so far making a fuss was the best way to get some dumbass janny to actually do something. Closing your eyes and pretending it's not there will only lead to that shit become the new norm and then we'll never get rid of it when half of the thread starts defending this trash.

The ideal size difference.

>>48442946
I mean it's been two years and all that's accomplished is cutting thread activity by nearly half. The drama is demonstrably pushing out the people we actually want to keep, yet you continue to screech and fill the thread with it. Eventually the only people who will be left is you and him, but somehow I doubt you see a problem with that so long as you "win".

>Maxing my agility stat just to sniff jinko panties unnoticed

>>48443016
What is she thinking about?

>>48442753
/fitlit/

>>48442629
I want to make a naked Yeti sweat a lot

>>48443094
I'm still not sure if buff dorks like this mean it literally when they say they work out at the library.

>>48443094
Normally I'd expect a lich to use magic to ferry me around as needed. But this one looks like I could politely ask her to princess carry me.
I'll never be princess carried in real life. And that's sad.

>>48443060
Dem beans

>>48443151
Demons don't have beans.

>>48443175
That you know of.

>>48443175
I mean, they can. And we're coming up on Christmas, where they're a traditional food pairing with HAM.
>Miss Deem hosts Christmas
>She thinks it's funny for a DEMON to do it
>Does all the food and fixin's
>Puts up a tree
>Decorates the whole home
>Even organizes the gift-giving
>Everybody has a great time
>She gets a ton of compliments
No sex or whatnot; she's just friendly and kind.

All I want for christmas is a gift voucher.

do liches or wights make better wives

ded

Who is the dark souls of monster girls?

>>48443279
Both are garbagio

>>48443349

>>48443211
Nope, she's getting kissed anyway

>>48443348
UNdead.

>>48443349
Arachne. Every single Halloween a non-negligible amount of them dress up as Quelaag.
Honorable mentions also go to ghosts, skeletons, and living armor for their cosplay of assorted mobs and such from the game.
Ms Troll also gets an honorable mention for her Solaire cosplay.

>When your monster wife goes from coomer to reprodoocer

>>48443349

>>48443397
I will whack any skeleton that dares to pick up a wheel and approach me.

>>48443411
>the 300 year old woomber

You should always give squirrels a nut.

>>48443279
Undead make the best wives, they always do their best to serve you

Sabbath gang

>chesh tells you she's been thinking about baby names
>"Smee Maimen"
>"Doctor Pavalier"
>"Bhutan Lee"
>"Juan Oveau"

>>48443478
>those smug elves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHkKJfcBXcw

I love my Yeti wife!

>>48443496
I dislike trains. The risk of being molested is too high.

>>48443504
stay strong trains is hard job

>>48443498
You don't love her, you only love her warm hugs and wet kisses.

>>48443504
Just hum the song to yourself as you move onto the mixed train seating. It will keep you safe.

>>48443498
I prefer whitehorns

>Anubis promises you daughters that will help lead nations to the highest of glory
>fast forward twenty years and you understand that she meant they would inherit her map painting vidya autism

>>48443574
On the bright side they might find their niche on Montube.

>>48443574
Kids are like pancakes: the first one always comes out wrong.

>>48443504
it's over. monsters have ruined trains
time to tear up all the tracks and build a 30-lane highway straight through MGC

>Well I'm comprehending these manmade horrors perfectly fine so maybe you just have a skill issue or something.

>>48443574
don't worry Anon one of them will inherit your autism too.
One of them will get a type of autism whole unique to themselves. You won't know how they got it but you cannot stop it
they play trading card games

>>48443612
gonna introduce them to beyblades

>>48443624
Sorry but she's firmly knee deep with card games and her schedule cannot fit in Beyblades
Her kids however will LOVE Bakugan

>>48443657
>Pharaoh has a betting pool set up amongst the court over what form of autism the newlyborn anubis will develop

This is your new fitness instructor.

>>48443696
She's going to have a really hard time teaching me to be fit with my hands scritching her ears all the time.

>>48443602
I do not have a picture of an Anubis SUFFICIENTLY ANGRY to convey the collective RAGE of the Anubi people at this statement.

>>48443586
But, Anon, I was a firstborn, and look at me! I'm great!

>>48443509
I recognized this reference.

>>48443757

I got a letter.
It's from my master.
He one day showed up in Wonderland and one day disappeared without a trace.
He never was the happiest man, and sought refuge in my land.
Never before have I seen a man as happy as he was in my embrace.
All he wanted was just to be held and told he was loved.
He often expressed how he wanted to disappear from it all one day.
Leave his old life and pain behind.
Then one day it all ended.
He says in the letter to meet him in our 'special place'.
I never wanted to speculate whether he actually died or not.
Holding him again would give me the warmth in life I first felt when we first met.
Master, could you really be in this town?

Please do not sadpost with Cheshires. Cheshires are the antidote to sadposts.

Big cats for big bellyrubs.

>>48443840

>>48443826
No, they're cringe.

>>48443879
No, Anon, WE are cringe. And Miss Cheshire is our Avatar.

12 days until Christmas…

>>48442663
It is good that glacies are "forgettable". They are strictly a minion species, arguably more so than imps. Furthermore, they explicitly abstain from mating, and not just because they're "meek and friendly" like the some others that don't generally rape: it is their directive as monsters to leave men unclaimed and vulnerable to others.

So why is it good? They're ideal for men who like minions. Men who go for those behind the scenes. Men who see power, confidence, decisiveness, really big boobs in really expensive dresses - the evil queen herself - and cast their eyes aside and say "No. I want one of your faceless guards, third one from the left there. I like the way she stands. I will make a family with her in the shadow of your empire."

Coupling with a glacies involves a few extraordinary circumstances, chief among them being unclaimed by other winter women after you've been captured and sapped of your heat. This is almost unheard of, for it is her job to matchmake you with them. Her one and only job, really. You are not "supposed" to couple with a glacies by design, she wants it this way too. Initially. She is the nudge of fate that gets you dragged into a wendigo cave, personified.

And yet there are those who would mate with fate.

The slow burn. The confusion. The reluctance. The care for you that's revealed from deep down. The kindling of her heart. The new sensitivities, and sensibilities. The unthinkable, that she is the one she has captured you for. The realization of desire, and the courage to right the wrong. The new, full lives you both begin when you are both taken off your well-worn paths. As is it turns out, she is no less of a person than the queen she serves and the snowy citizens she helps, and she takes no less joy in doing what all monsters do with their men. And you help unthaw that with every kiss, until the sculpture of ice emerges from within the block.

There are some who seek this with a Queen. And there are some who seek this with her minions.

". . .the queens' winds freeze even the hearts of snow monsters. As such, almost no one gets near the palace, whose expansive interior is always filled with silence. That said, there are cases in which a glacies' husband lives in the wintry residence. Thus, if one pricks one's ears, heated moans—a sound most incongruous with the palace of ice—can sometimes be heard coming from the chambers in which a glacies and her husband forever lie. "

flexible ice skater body

You're driving me batty.

>>48443940
>tfw no venom slime chesh who lives in your blood and takes over to say WE ARE CRINGE every time someone asks your name

>>48444255
man, this pillow is ass.

>>48444220
I like foxes so much it's unreal.

>>48444308
I've seen so many men's lives destroyed by mofu addiction.

foxes are evil and they must be stopped

>>48444102
Horrendous formating aside that was nice.
Issue with the whole glacies being a minion species is that they don't look like it. They look more like a midboss type of mamono, or at least the example one does. The glacies are too glamorous to be mobgirls.

>>48444348
Boo, come up witha better joke.

>>48443714
! !

>>48444348
Consider fox smell.

>>48444090
beeg gote

>>48442996
>Just give up! The thread's dying because you wont let him spam his /vg/ garbage and keep rejecting and reporting him!
Just look at yourself. Absolutely pathetic

>>48444541
For me.

>>48444673
You made me give up on art, so at least you always have that.

>>48444728
Yeah, at least we always have our dancing monkey.

>>48444759

>>48444728
kek your scribbles were so bad nobody wanted them in the gallery. You are genuinely pitiful

>>48444728
maybe one day you'll realize the source of all your problems is you

>>48444852
Well, yes, it's my lack of art skills.

>>48442864
I've made her disappointed too many times. Never again will I be cheesed to meet her.

Hug bugs

>>48442721
GOOD END
I wish I could get taken away by demon at least my size

bird

>>48444982
But I want to be hugged BY bugs.
Especially when he is dressed like girl bunny.

I don't trust titanias. They seem too innocent.

>>48445088
they and the villainous unicorn are plotting something

>>48445088
Mamono would be so weird about our pop culture.
>Queen Titania ends up super into 90s pop stars aimed at 8 - 12 year old girls.
>Everyone warns Titania's friends to ease her into the whole Britney Spears story.
>Accidentally let something slip.
>Have to tell her all about it.
>She resolves to go monsterize her immediately.
>Have to explain that Britney's one of the Protected Class--humans that mamono are Too Weird About for them to get turned into mamono.
>Apparently it's pretty likely that she'll end up a dark matter due to how focused mamono are on her plight, and that'd be Really Obnoxious for Earth.
>Try to get her to turn Lindsay Lohan instead.
>Dismissed immediately.
>Apparently she's been a devilbug for almost a decade now, they just airbrush it out for pictures.
>"Too dumb to polymorph" is Queen Titania's take.

>>48444364
The snowy mountains are a high level zone! And The Queen herself is somewhere around lv. ??. It makes sense that her left and right hands are sights to behold.
But you're more right than you know. The midboss of the Snowy Foothills is a glacies, actually. And then that thing happens where the farther you go, you start seeing bosses being reappearing as regular foes. That's how you know you've really deep into your adventure.

>>48445391
I'm rewriting my entire Christmas wishlist into "be able to write English"

>>48445570
Mine's just
>Cheshire (big)

What shitty TV shows and movies would mamono obsess over?

I want to drink elf milk.

>>48445697
Human male adventures

>>48445697
Game of Wombs, specially for all that incest that portraits

>>48445697
large predators and small humans
9 minute fiancé
Eros Most Wanted

KC is posting more lore on twitter again.

>>48445820
"""lore"""

>>48445835
Hey now, Lore is best girl, after all.

>>48445758
Why are monsters so obsessed with incest?

>>48445939
Because how overwhelmingly rare it is for a monster to give birth to a boy, so pretty much 99% of monsters will never have the joy of giving birth to her blood related boy's babies ad imagining or self inserting into a story like that is the escapism they need to satisfy that desire.
In that part it's similar to this thread.

>>48445697
I bet Cheshires would love Jackass.

I wish I had a waifu, but in truth I just like so many different kinds of monsters. I'd lose to the first one that gives me the time of day.

>>48446016
it do be like that

>>48446016
Honestly, I think it's healthier to NOT have a waifu. Having a waifu feels like you're inching a little too close to falling into the rabbit hole of fantasy.
>No, that's not a wererabbit or march hare joke.

>>48445769
i wonder what will happen on this weeks episode of large predators and small humans

>>48446030
>you're inching a little too close to falling into the rabbit hole of fantasy
You're already in fantasy if you're here. A real purist wouldn't use the internet.

>>48446056
Ugh, that show is so formulaic. Just once I wanna see an episode where the large predator actually captures the human rather than ONCE AGAIN squeeeeeing like a teenager at how small and cute he is, then begging for him to let her touch him.
>And those damn confessionals where she gushes about how afraid she is to hurt him and how cute and fragile he is.
>UGH.
>Just once, pump an Ushi full of raging mushrooms, aphrodisiacs and cocaine, then dump her in an office building full of computer programmers.
>Just once!
>Please!
And pick my building

>>48446114
once again anon is cratered through the building to basement level 3 via ushis powerful hip thrusts

>>48446125
If she doesn't put me in the hospital, what's the point of marrying her?

>>48445954
Are your fantasies always forgetting the father, the monster's rightful husband? Is it because you didn't have a father or what?

>>48446187
I don't think that a father gets jealous of their child, doujinshi already taught me that

>>48445697
Cultural programs in their Momster Discovery channel like milking diaries, but monsters are the ones doing the milking
https://files.catbox.moe/mtcadn.jpg

>>48446228
If mamono have a Discovery Channel, does that mean they also have a SHARK WEEK?

>>48446152
You have mental damaged from a loveless childhood.

>>48446300
well yeah, but that doesn't narrow it down very much

>>48446300
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE

>>48446308
Yeah that was a easy shot but you're annoying.

>>48446270
Definitely

>>48445697
Legends of the Hidden Pyramid

>>48446228
https://files.catbox.moe/hrxqzl.png
I'm not a paizuri fan but I'm a fan of old school documentaries

>>48446330
again, that's a pretty wide net

>>48445697
Law and order.

>>48446228
>"last week we explored through the varios method and the culture behind milking in the undead kingdom"
>"this week we will observe how the desert kingdom performs their milking rituals"
>"next week we will travel to Zipangu and admire and isolated culture displaying their milking practices"
>all narrated by David Attenborough

>And the wurm of the year award goes to...
>You!
>OMG HONEY I WON I WON *glomp*

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember to shower after working out, monsters can smell the sweat and man musk gets them going like nothing else.
That and you'll get a rash if you aren't careful.

>>48446343
! !

>>48446600
You don't need a shower with an Akaname wife. She really loves your gains, too.

>>48443574
>father is just happy that his daughters get to apply themselves to whatever it is they like
>daughter #4 gets to young adulthood and realizes her entire family is a bunch of limpwristed LOSERS
>falls in with her pharaoh godmother to become mentored in matters of industry and conquest
>rages hard when she tries to do strategy research and gets a quarter of the way through a book before figuring out it's for one of her sisters' fucking computer games

>>48446884
>what have you been up to, my dearest hapshet?
>I have raised a legion of one hundred necrolossi for my campaign. I will need them for my next siege upon a heavily fortified human citadel.
>oh, really, you went for those? but their upkeep is so high, and the tech tree is extremely prohibitive. even with armor upgrades you can't negate their dire weakness to holy mag-
>IN REAL LIFE, MOM!!!!!

>>48445697
Clawdia The Big Black Dog, Young Anon's Love for her made her grow much larger than any other Hellhound.

https://x.com/k_cross/status/1867386364549059033
New lore dripfeed:
>There are a number of factors that make monster girls think a man is "appetizing ," but one of these is a hidden, invisible stat called "goodness value."

>>48447003
>redcaps running your plates to check your Good Boy Points to make sure you're in their tax bracket before ambushing you

>>48447103
>Good boy points are now MGE canon
What a time to be alive.

>>48447156
Gonna cash in on those points and have my foxmom make me sickass tendies

>>48447193
>Finish your tendies anon, it's time to make you some sisters/daugthers

https://x.com/k_cross/status/1867405093701923008
>Q: Does this mean that there are monsters who prefer men with high levels of kindness and those who prefer men with low levels of kindness, or do people uniformly prefer men with high levels of kindness?
>A: The criteria for judgment are a combination of various factors. There are many cases where a person's goodness level is average but other aspects make them look tasty, but if you focus on just goodness, it seems that men with a high goodness level across the board look and taste better. This is why men from the Order tend to be raped by monsters. Monsters who target evil people tend to raise/train them after they have been captured.

>>48447225
>wash mommy's back
>+50 GBP
>cuddlesleep naked with mommy
>+200 GBP
>put a sister into mommy's belly
>+5000 GBP
wtf bros, it's that easy

>>48447103
>POV: You are an Anon that purchased Winrar, returns his shopping cart, and lays out cookies and milk for Santa.

>>48447252
All the qualifications for human dentists in Dragonia?

>>48447267
Dragonia imports all the kindest dentists in the land because dragons are actually huge babies about dental care.

>>48447278
>And have you been flossing since your last visit?
>... ... ...does eating whole sheep count? the wool gets stuck in my teeth h-haha that's kind of like flossing.
>*Tsk tsk*
>[uncomfortable dragon noises]

>>48447278
To be fair, that's completely reasonable. I wouldn't wish a mean dentist on the worst enemy.

>>48447294
>Wurmy have you been eating asbestos again?

>>48447295
Thankfully the Man-Eaters have had great success in dentist correction.

>>48447003

>looked in her direction
You were asking for it
>said hi
You were asking for it
>smiled at her
You were asking for it
>ran away
Asking for it
>begged for mercy as your pelvis was pulverized to dust and she harvested your semen and is now pregnant with your daughter
Do I even need to say it?

I'm going to tell a crowd of Monsters that they're dumb coombrains and they need to get hobbies and socialize instead of thinking about sex all the time. I'm gonna tell them they're repulsive and should practice better sexual morality instead of letting thoughts of sex and sexual things fill their skulls!

I'm going to tell miss hellhound that she's the blackest retard gorilla nigger I have ever seen.

>>48447556
Okay, so what do YOU fill your skull with, wise guy? Booze and movie trivia!? You know there's a monster that would drink and watch movies with you. In fact, she's already in your house now setting up the chips and dip.

>>48447479
>t. short nerdhound with thick bottle glasses trying to stammer this out in front of the boy she likes

>>48447681
>"a-asking f-f-for..."
>he bends down and gets really close
>"asking for what hmmm?"
>nerdwan gets embarrassed and runs away

>>48447658
dragon preening tips

>>48447658
bomb making instructions

>>48448052
>*Excited gremlin noises*

>>48447479
>Pic
When your hellhound has Downs

>>48445088
I trust titanias because they have nice boobs.

>Max out good boy points
Okay, where's my harem of lilims, baphomets, jabberwocks, and apophises?

>>48447239
So you just need to be a good person to avoid rape. Nice, I will have my romantic good ending

>>48448468
You must quest to unite them, and they all have their own grand sidequests for you to resolve the silliness in their lives that they've gotten embroiled with in your absence.

>>48448571
OK, great for you. Now how do I get a Cheshire wife?

>>48447239
But what if I don't believe I'm good?

>>48448671
You will get a hellhound, stupid frog

>>48448843
Sorry meant for >>48448571

>>48448789
You get a demon. Not just a demon, but one of the worst demons to have ever lived. Of course that's all in the past now, and these days she's the sweetest girl you could ever meet, but she still remembers even if no one else does.

monsters wouldn't like me. i collect stamps.

>>48448927
You have intrigued the tism wan

>>48448951
what is an tism wan going to put stamps on. does she have a pen pal she sends letters to? not doubtful just curious about her intentions.

>>48448971
She's just curious about your method for cataloging the collection

>>48448971
Sound like she would corresponding with you and dreaming about your meeting which will never happen since you died of cancer 2 weeks ago. Fuck life, it's gay.

I feel you anon, need more drinks tonight

>>48449153

>>48449194
How does raita make them so powerful?

This thread needs more cheshire kitties. Preferably non-shitposty cheshires!

ded

>>48449269
Everybody's gone off to worship Amaterasu now that Okami 2 is happening

>>48449269
All the anons are hiding in the undead mansion's attic with the cool spiders and bats.

>>48449369
Didnt yerb color this?

>>48449375
Why is she wearing one boot.

>>48449386

I will NOT get hagged

>>48449418
>Quote from man hagged

Need evil women.

>>48449479
Why is it always the "evil villainess" that's the first to be the domestic trad wife?
Not that I'm complaining. I want a lovey dovey wife that wants 9 daughters so that she can have generals for her army.
I also wonder what happens to their old armies after a while. Do they have yearly reunions like a weekend long camping trip where they basically reenact their old battles?

You're not weaseling your way out of this one.

>>48449418
Don't mind hags.
Fear trans hags.
Twice the danger.
Thrice the charm.

>>48449581
You're damn right I'm afraid of the old man alp.

I love my alp daughter and my AR-15.

White boys fuck foxes.

Reminder to report offtopic /vg/ spam to the kindly kiki jannies

>>48449787
This kiki is very floofy

>>48449787
Shogs rule, kikis drool.

>>48449810
What does kiki drool taste like?

>>48449843
vodka and regret

>>48449803
The rare, sleepy hiki Kiki
Very fluffy, cleans your house extra efficiently to return to her shitposting and anime.
Makes a mean cup-noodle

>>48449754
And dog boys for the women, it's all good.

>>48449843
How would my kiki react if I requested that she spits in my food and drinks?

>>48449860
>Makes a mean cup-noodle
The hagkiki is going to be furious when she finds out

What would happen if I hired a kiki that was expelled from the Maid Acadamy?

>>48450151
You would have a room mate except you pay her instead of her paying you

I AM COMPLETE

>>48450185
I want to summon a fat succ to serve as my pillow

Wait do succubi get fat from sex or from lack of sex?

>>48450243
Yes

>>48450190
Your defeat shall be complete.
You will get the succ pillow
You will be happy
She will make you her husband.

I wish I had a buffcubus to gently hold me.

>>48450289
We have oni.

>>48450243
Too many pregnancies

>>48450325
Gentle Oni is fine too.

>>48450331
Not enough*

>>48450331
Not possible.

>>48449933
Finally, this artist's drawing without that dumb emojiman ruining my self-inserting immersion...
>notices her arm patch
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa

>>48450376
How is fat elf these days.

>>48450483
They got fatter.

>>48450483
Listen, when someone introduced them to fruit pies it was all over.

>>48450488
I also want to introduce something to a fat elf, if you know what I mean
https://files.catbox.moe/4ubra8.jpg

>>48450488
>leave a delicious fruit pie to cool on the windowsill
>come back to find a bat face-down in it
And that's how I met your mother

A Hakutaku and or Crow Tengu teacher crying and sobbing and even seething at the newest Elden Ring DLC because they are Dark Souls lore experts but now have to justify and start explaining why the Nameless King, the Firekeeper, Demon Centipede and possibly an Armored Core character are all appearing in the same place and setting.

>>48450672
OR they could just not care about Elden Slop.

>>48450672
Something something fading in and out, jolly cooperation

>Trying to coordinate a push in Modern Rapefare 3 on voice chat
>Chesh screaming down the microphone, "YUM YUM YUM I EAT ASS ALL DAY YUM YUM YUM"

>>48450692
Perhaps the flow of time indeed is convoluted, because even the newest of fags would know that field is for tismwans, not hakus or tengu

>>48443766
turns out yes, this chesh's human really did get an urgent notice from his boss to go back to normal world to fix some force-majeur that only he could fix, and left a letter to his chesh to do her wacky catroon teleport to his place so they can still stay together (or at least he could cuddle her at night after the 14 hour shifts needed to crunch all the fixes out)
later he'll teach a few other people to do the job he did, then promptly quit this time for realsies, get severance pay enough to retire on, and he and his chesh lived happily ever after, the end

>>48450672
Trying to explain to the imprisoned loli homunculus that killing is bad but she just wants to talk about baby seabirds, and you can't let her out until she gets it because she has absurd powers and the last time someone let her out she turned everyone on the island into dragons.

>>48450613
I wonder if that steam luring cartoon characters to pies can be monsterized.

>>48450974
not far off from alarune pheromones

post fatties

>>48450974
That's basically all monster girl cooking. Who's going to resist a home-cooked meal by miss deem or literally any cute mamono. Something something heart and stomach.

Does anyone here draw and take requests? Just curious.

>>48451108
yerb pokes in sometimes

>>48451108
Yeah I'll draw any involving monstergirls with big tits or ass after a few months of putting it off

Consider
>A christmas prince
>but genderflipped
>with cat sith as the princess
Is your heart not warmed?

This is unacceptable.

Where is my state mandated, cheshire cat wife?

>>48451257
Overthrow the state and make it a policy in your new regime. You'll easily have the Chesh you want when you're in charge.

>>48451264
I want the chesh in charge.

>>48451257
Bureaucracy has really gotten out of hand. I blame all these married employees who take all their PTO.

>>48451264
>>48451274
Well, they need to get their shit together. Who else am I gonna start a Minecraft LAN with?

>You will marry a monster girl
>You will have many children
>You will have a large, happy family
>You will live to a fine old age with her, beyond multiple human life spans
>When you're ready, you will die together, at the exact same moment, embraced in each other's arms, after living a fulfilling life
>You will be together forever in the afterlife

>>48451257
I thought that the state gave away Zombie wives trying to get rid of them

>>48451333
I started watching The Walking Dead after all this time and I'm in the 3rd season. Man, FUCK zombies.

>>48451304
why do you hurt me like this

>>48451304
what happens in the afterlife?

On the first day of Christmas my monster gave to me...
Eternal matrimony!

How much exactly is the fanum tax?

11 days until Christmas…

>>48448571
this is one of my favorite pictures
I like how it's "for cheshire" and not "for cheshires" because it sounds like she had a whole book written just for her
and she's right in the middle of it so you know she's at the chapter with all the brass tacks details on cuddling with illustrations

>>48451866
I wonder who in Wonderland is dedicated enough to write an entire book for one person.

>>48449404
i like her smile on the uncolored pic more

>>48449523
Pennsic War but its all the ogres and salamanders and low-level fighting monsters from the Demon Generals' First-and-only Infantry Army unit

>>48451860
Cat santa brings you cat wife. It is not negotiable.

>>48451901
>Helping one kot may not change the world, but for that kot, the world is changed forever.
- Dr. Cheussh, 87-time award winning children's book and YA nonfiction author (as a joke)

Ke~jou~ rou~
Happy holidays everyone!

>>48452018
Does Dr. Cheussh happen to be the mom or other relative of that clueless Cheshire?

>>48452051
cute and comfy kej

>>48451339
>FUCK zombies.
Gladly

>>48452067
I don't know that I've seen a kej that is NOT cute and comfy.

>>48451333
sure thing

Mandatory addicting huggle time in the cat reeducation camps.

i want to read a mg story, this time with a bit of drama, got any recommendations?

>>48452200
i always assumed siths to be like 2 feet tall

>>48447003
I can't wait for all the upcoming builds utilizing it. Old meta is a little stale.

>>48452218
maybe she is and mick is just built like warwick davis

The winter closes in. I must summon my wife for warmth on these cold, dark nights.

>>48452236
Monkeys are pretty small, it checks out.

>>48452237
>summon your wife on the roof
whats next in your grand plan?

>>48452051
You too. Thank you.
Now allow me to get this out of the way.
kejkejkejkejkejkejkejkejkej

>>48452247
Getting her off the roof, apparently. Then going to bed to cuddle while I read to her the works of Laozi.

>>48452232
Frankly I'm still going to be abusing the 100rpm dog bug for a while longer. I know they're going to patch it one of these days and we're all going to miss it when it's gone.

>>48451339
Sure I will

Zombies are a pump and dump at best or a fleshlight when you can't get anything else

>>48452218
She has a stool.

>>48451732
10 future gen beta pyro's
all of them will be your children and JUST as brainrotted as their mom

>48452379
>500 goodness points have been deducted from your account

>>48447003
>Houri visits the man she's assigned to
>His goodness value is on the lower side
>His GV steadily increases over the course of the next few months
>She takes quiet satisfaction from it.

>>48452364
https://files.catbox.moe/w1ly2c.jpg
Zombie maids are cue specially when they try so hard to do their best

>>48452478
bad boys get krampus'd

>>48452379
Zombie friend that you pump and dump every once in a while. Cause' your good friends you know?

>>48452522
>OH MY GOODNESS AUNTIE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU
>you're feeling okay? you still want to... oh ok

>>48452512
Can't I get krampus'd as a good boy?

This dumbass Pyrow came barreling down the street on her stupid skateboard and she knocked me over and went "You snooze you lose, geezer!" then she went right down a flight of stairs because she wasn't watching where she was going and got bumped up all to hell.

Deserved. Why are Pyrows so fucking dumb?

>>48447003
so we are all doomed

>>48452599
Anon she was a thief and stole your virginity

>>48452587
sometimes you get put on the naughty list by a clerical error

>Krampus comes down the chimney
>snickers as she eats the cookies and milk left out
>tip toes up the stairs into the bedroom
>there he is, the naughty man she's gonna sack!
>sleeping soundly and unaware of what's about to happen
>she tugs off the covers to unveil her prize
>...
>it's a bunch of pillows stuffed under the blanket
>suddenly, a hand falls on her shoulder from behind
>she turns cold as the snow outside and slowly peers back
>"I've been anticipating this day for a long time..."
>Krampus quivers in fear

Always turn the tables on the Monster. Always show them who is boss.

>>48452194
Jesus it's been a hot minute since i've seen space patrol, feels like an eternity ago

>>48452636
>guys does this
>thinks he's spooky
>still gets raped right then and there anyway

>>48452636
i tried to sneak up on a kiki and she reflexively judo threw me, pinned me and instinctively drew her garter knife against my throat before realizing it was just me
would recommend

>ywn shoot at mysterious drones with your salamander wife
Why live?

>>48452478
>>48452512
Sometimes when you have a bad boy you just put his ass in the sack and sling him, making his idiot brain is back in the womb. Puts them right to sleep.

>>48452733
That's exactly what I want in a meido--complete domination of my home and my body.

How do I resist the urge to fondle and grope fat, jiggly, quarter bouncing harpy ass?

>>48452906
Fondle and grope her tits instead.

>>48452934
leave her grey-crested tits and blue-footed boobies unmolested

>>48452906
Why would you resist?

Easy there fuzzy little man peach. What are you doing in my waters?

>>48453077
>ever drunk baileys from a shoe?

>>48453084
Want to go to a club where people plap each other?

>a kobold excitingly runs up to you
>yipping "looking what i can do!"
>the kobol concentrates really hard for a few moments
>and you look up in horror as the sun explodes

>>48453084
The danuki fears the river fish junk merchant

>>48453087
>I like you, what do you think of me?

>>48453061
I love these dumb strawberries.

>>48453108
fish

>>48453124
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tTHn2tHhcI

>>48453122
all the brains went elsewhere

>>48453184
It's an experience when your Jub learns stat drain and takes all your INT for herself.

There is nothing hotter than a valkyrie with a warhammer clubbing her enemies around

>>48453287
>Jub learns stat drain and takes all your INT for herself
>puts all the INT into her butt
>she can't do 1+1 but her butt knows how to drain you at maximum pleasure to a science
good trade off

What's a cute thing your wife does that makes your heart skip a beat?
For me it's the the jittery movements her legs do whenever she's nervous or embarrased.

>>48453299
Her evil laughter as she plans for world domination

>>48453299
Her stubborn refusal to exist

>>48453321
She looks like she's going to need a vacation from thoes world domination plans.

>>48453329
Nah, her plan is to breed enough babies to take over the world. Looks like she's got at LEAST 2 in there.

Spacejubs coming to theaters near you, December 21!

>>48453299
Ears swiveling towards my direction any time she hears me but she pretends she doesnt

>>48453329
Anon can do the world domination
They just have to deal with him taking a break every 15 min to make sure his evil pregnant wife is ok

>>48453350
pregnancy only makes her more powerful