/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>48021848
gonna take off this silly ushis bandana, she'll get lazy eye!

Everyone thinks Balrogs are old wise boomers and old ladies who speak eloquently and fancy compared to the younger Whipper Snapper pyrows and their Skibidi Rizz memes and lingo.

In truth, Balrogs; despite being elders and older women, do indeed speak in the same youngster dialect and lingo as their you get pyrow underlings. For Balrogs in MGE are just pyrows who're aged up.

Facts! The more you know.

Be ye afraid, for I am so great and terrible! GAOOO!

I can't believe I have lost to gargoyle

>>48021994
They're surprisingly good at videogames.

>>48021848
Ushi thread!

>>48022074
Damn green thing and her spinning butt.

The scariest thing a monster can do is call for their big sister.

>>48022190
It's scary, until she becomes your big sister too.
Then it's a little less scary.
On the bright side, now you get to call for her when you need her.

>>48022190
Since oyakodon is a thing is there a word for being double-teamed by two sisters?

>>48022190
>6ft tall balrog calls for her 8ft tall sister with more flames and muscle

>>48022190
Chesh shotgun, fearsome

>>48022190
I have a fetish for onee-sama girls, so I would instalose to a big sister-type monster, especially if she's a demon.

Mamonos used to call me on my cellphone

Anon needs reverse correction.

>>48022314
Gaslighting?

Anon needs to play reversi with his wife

ANON NEEDS AN ADULT

Anon just needs some alone time, no monstergirls. Only peace.

>>48022361
She is an adult.

hello eros could you please send me a cute succ to cuddle. its cold.

>>48022314
I'm going to rape that little shit until a crater is formed in the court room

>>48022314
I haven't done anything! What is she going to correct? Oh god. Should I pack my things? Can I use her toothpaste or should I bring my own? Please give me enough time to visit the dry cleaner's first. If I'm going to be meeting someone's mom I can't just show up in a polo. Hold on, let me check the weather... It's going to be 59 tomorrow!? I need to get my chesterfields out of the attic!

stop the pigeon
stop the pigeon

>>48022587
What if I stop her with my dick?

>>48022678
you could do that, but it would be more fun to try and fail to stop the birb with an elaborate flying machine

>>48022314
I'd never lose to some malef brat

>>48022710
Ms. Gremlin, do I have to remind you what happened last time you made an "elaborate flying machine"?

>>48022710
I hope she's a failed outcast crackpot that makes my entrust my life to some pedal-powered ramshackle monstrosity.

>>48022730
Listen. The dark matter hoverjetcraft may have been a bust when it catastrophically failed over that order territory - but the demon realm it left behind is something, right? Just trust the plan (and don't tell miss automaton she's going to have jetboots next week)

>>48022750
She fails, but she isn't failed. Learn from your mistakes. That pedal-powered ramshackle monstrosity was just the first in a long line of learning opportunities!

I will sap miss gremlin sentry

Best monster girl to spontaneously teleport into my dick?

>>48021848
Best monster to rewrite time until she's my childhood friend and mothersisterwife?

Telling miss automaton to delete system32

>Pink Orchid Mantis
Why does Eros get all the cute kuuderes?

>>48023318
Because being able to understand your monsterwife even if she barely shows expressions is a true show of your love towards her. She makes her kuuderes extra cute for that reason.

>>48023318
For the same reason that she also got all the soldier anons.

>HFW you ask to be her duo partner

>>48023441
that'll show her i'm a full commitment kind of guy

>H-hey anon
>I-I-I just got a 10,000 piece lego box set for the pawsoleum at wanlicarnassus
>Do you wanna build it with me?

>>48023515
Sure, we can start by pouring all the pieces out of the box into a big messy pile!

>>48023515
Sure, but she actually has to help this time instead of stealing enough bricks and minifigures to make a house and saying "look, it's us!" before having them kiss

>>48023515
>Pawsoleum
are the schedule dogs branching out from pyramids?

>>48023562
She wants some roman's dicks

>>48023318
>all the cute kuuderes
just 2 of them and cupid isn't even cute

>>48023562
>>48023515
>Hanging gardens of Tabbylon - filled with rich ojou alraune and lazy kots, feasting and drinking in decadent style amongst the gardens (location never found)
>Statue of Goose - Giant stone birb that real birbs perch upon
>Great Wighthouse of Alexandria - A coastal resort villa filled with undead
>Temple of Artemouse - A grand temple where mice go to pray and leave cheese
>The Colossus of Toads - A large statue of a frog girl, an amphibian, to bridge the worlds of land and sea
>Pawsoleum at wanlicarnassus - A 150 foot building containing hundreds of thousands of parchment spreadsheets for anubis everywhere to admire
>Great pyramids of Gazer - Some dumb sandstone pyramids to satisfy wan autism

>>48023691
>he doesnt know about pink salmon sahuagin that swim up waterfalls in the pursuit of love
Also take that cupid slander back you tasteless phillistine

>>48023441
>she's bad at studying as expected
>get a better grade from your pair project than if you had partnered up with one of the huge nerds, because she was passively buffing you up just by being close to you
Balrog-chan's route unlocked

>>48023706
No.
Cupids aren't cute.

>>48023706
ngl if a fish swam up a fucking waterfall to go on a date with me I'd be honored

>>48023701
>wonders of the ancient world, Alexander edition
>Alexander gets in the diving bell
>goes below the waves
>sees lecherous sea creatures
>retreats to the safety of his Centaur wife

>>48022219
Shimaidon? I think thats the tag youre looking for

>>48023691
>cupid isn't even cute
You take that back right now

>>48023849
Thanks. I had a feeling there was a word for it but I couldn't recall it and when I did my brain confused its meaning with the one for "shimapan" for some reason.

I, the Soap Mage, continue to be the bane of smelly monsters everywhere. Whether they be P'orcs or H'orcs, or Trolls or Wocks or Beelzebubs or Devil Bugs, I cast my spell BUBBLE BATH ATTACK and follow up it with my SHAMPOO BEAM and HYDRO EXPLOSION and they are clean and sparkling before they know it. My cleaning magic cannot be paralleled. Not even a Kikimora can conjure such cleanliness. I swear, I will not stop until stench, odor and BO have been obliterated. I will not stop until all Monsters are CLEAN.... This world must be CLEANSED by my hand...

>>48023930
>hey you sure are loud for a sweat rag, seat cushion

>>48023930
>cleaning devil bugs against their will
You've gone too far this time Soap Mage!

>>48023956
Do you remember the time he blasted an Akaname with "Degreaser Ball"?
I hear the poor girl is still dry heaving.

>>48023951
>Let's see how you like my - SCOUR POWER BANG ATTACK

>>48023427
Help, my sense of reason is in danger.

>>48023859
post proof of cupid being really cute
you can't

>>48024109
You know what, no. First you slander them, and then you demand they prove you wrong? Look for proof yourself if you so wish.

>>48023725
>Date
No, the "swim up a fucking waterfall to get that dick" phase of their lives is not date night. Maybe once she's calmed down and turned back to her calmer form.

>>48024148
It's hardly slander if it's just naked truth.

>>48024171
Wonder what would happen if you kidnapped one and kept her in a tank without any males until rape season ends.

>>48023351
Step aside with that barely passable example of empathic love. Real chads blast into the momsters that spawned them. Objectively better fetish cooming through! Nothing can match the beauteous intimacy of lovingly coating momster's uterus while frotting her endothelium into a pleasure-filled mass of contracting full-body-enveloping flesh. Imaging spending 9 mo with your monster and all you do is charades because she has the sociopath autism. Couldn't be me.

>>48022247
Imagine being held down and gangraped by six Cheshire sisters with varying levels of chubby belly, fat ass and bouncy tits.
Heaven in hell.

>>48023930
>clean devil bug
>the stimulation turns her into a frothing sex mess
>clean devil bug
>. . .
Am I doing this right? I think professional help might be needed.

>>48024383
>Raeped by memecat
Maximum dishonorabu, many shame on ancestor face.

>>48024400
Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of six bouncy bubble butts grinding on my dick.

Fairies, Pixies and other tiny mamano give birth to tiny human boy babies who have really massive growth spurts.

>>48024171
>Get dragged underwater by Merrow!
>Fight her off
>It's super effective
>That's right, bitch!
>Oh no! you get sucked down by some bullshit magic whirlpool
>The river bottom around you is literally covered in her unfertilized eggs
>Can't escape due to the whirlpool, but at least you can breathe
>Merrow returns
>She stares at you
>Full unblinkingly eye contact
>A deviously lewd grin on her face
>As she makes the Ran-hand milking gesture
What happens next?

>>48024440
I can't hear you over the six voices screaming Captain Falcon quotes as they orgasm, but presume it won't go well. Good luck with that.

>>48024506
Joke’s on you, I’m into that shit. Now excuse me I’m off to imagine what the cuddling would be like.

>>48024470
>the Ran-hand milking gesture
>What happens next?
A good time.

>>48024513
>Cheshire is always a gentleman while cuddling
Redeemable, I guess.

>>48024535
Based MHQchad.

>>48024550
Nuzzling, gentle groping and soft ass everywhere. It’d be so cozy, you never have insomnia again.

>>48024084
I don't think they're any danger. It's a Ryokan, you eat, sleep and rest in the onsens. Drinking with the fox owner can lead you in someplaces...

>>48024609
There's at least two rival girls inside that tail of hers. I'm certain of it.

Sex with erufus

Be honest, would you headpat a cu sith?

>>48024718
Nobody cares mick

>>48024717
Uncorrupted elves are called erufus. Corrupted elves like in your picture (non-mamano elves do not become anywhere near that voluptuous) are called Erofus.

>>48024726
If you're gonna give me a nickname, I'd prefer it to be Wormfood or something along those lines.

What do you call a singing computer?
A dell
get it, adelle? hahahahahaha01001000 01100001
disable your antivirus already

>>48024760
This is why I run Kiki Defender on my PC. No succuviruses, no trojan centaurs, no wurmy worms, and definitely no marchware.

>>48024598
>Drinking
>With foxes
>Especially brown, big titty ara ara foxes
RIP self-restraint

The absolute minimum number of times a day you should be sniffing your danuki's breath is 4. Any less than that is danuki abuse.

>>48024663
>>48024717
>>48024718
>>48024747
>>48024787
>>48024845
How exactly aren't these shitters banned after all the deletions in the last few days?

>>48024862
Are you going to post about monster girls or attempt to derail the thread like you always do?
Either post about monster girls or go to >>>/plebbit/ if you want your safe hugbox.

>>48024793
Why wouldn't I, I already drink a lot alone. Drinking with a fox can't be bad.

>>48024717
https://files.catbox.moe/4ubra8.jpg

>Gives you 14 kids in 3 years

>>48024891
VACA

https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/123421186

but did you cum?

>>48025034
Yes

>>48025034
In a chesh? daily if I could, armor on, armor off, at home, outside, in the blankets, in a bush...

So we know about Alps, but what about FtM transexuals?

>>48025185
>FtM transexuals
dont exist. fuck off faggot

>>48025200
Bullshit. They grow massive dicks and then pound (you) hard enough to pull off your excessively lacy and delicate panties. KC is so based he made an exception specifically for (you), and your gigafaggotry! Don't be embarrassed, live your best life, girlfren!

>>48024891
Big meaty elf hags are the best

>>48025034
No. Her sexual abilities are subpar, as are her tired memes. IT'S MY GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER STOP ASKING HRRThThrgteei fflzagf

>>48025263
>We elves are a proud people!
>We are not a race of exhibitionists!
Why do elves say such things while dressed like this?

>>48025034
Cum. As you are. As you where. As I want you to be. As a fren. As a frend. As an old frenemy.

>>48024563
>Chesh gently holds and gropes you with one paw
>"YES!" she yells while first pumping the other paw
>The first thing you hear every morning is a staggered chorus screaming that you "SHOW ME YO MOVES!"
On the plus side, you'll never be late to an appointment again, the Chesh crew however...will be 'late' in an entirely different. Someone should draw her special move, Falcon Cunt.

Should a slime keep her core in her head, chest or womb?

>>48025290
At least they cover their privates, most monster barely wear something below the waist for some reason

>>48025362
Using Barb as an example most Elves are also like that

>>48025353
Why have her limit herself?
>Slime mantains her core in the head to keep it close to her eyes and facial fotoreceptors
>For sex, she lowers it down to where a womb would be, allowing her to control her slussy better and recieve your seed directly
>Afterwards she places it into her chest for cuddling. You have learned to listen to its very faint beating and movement, and she can feel your warmth closer.

>>48025362
I am a human who knows multiple humans that wear pants, and all of them are COWARDS!

>>48025362
Hagville specially has pretty much naked hags walking down the street when there's a man in town
They are on the hunt

>>48025362
underwear just gets in the way

>>48025353
>>48025370
>not keeping her womb directly on your dick while she walks around doing stuff
Noobs pls go. If you really want to jizz while looking at a sphere then get past the first three zones, rank silver or greater, and fuck a Cyclops like a normal person. Are you faggots even trying? Bet y'all didn't even get past the were sheep.

you dont really want a zombie outbreak, its not going to go the way you think it is

>>48025434
Claymore was so fucking bad, the hiatus wasn't worth at all

>>48025402
Yn thee way of sin, vixen. Yore tofu will avail you notte onne thee daye of reckonyng. Reeepynt heathynn.

>>48025434
So cheerful songs about eating brains, outside my door, ain't it?

Undead hours.

If monsters aren’t easy sluts then how come I can whip out a stack of bills and get a blowjob from my favorite oni at the bar. Checkmate purity fags.

>>48025402
I dunno, bras are pretty cool and well selected panties both won't get in the way and will make a woman more attractive. Sounds like a skill issue.

>>48025485
Commissioning miss lich to create a cow-mhera for me

>>48025485
where are her panties?

>>48025524
What do you need her panties for?

>>48025524
Ded.

>>48025550
I don't get it.

>>48025566
Male crocs mating call is literally blowing bubbles underwater. The more you know!

>>48025524
Undead have a more relaxed dress code, if they happen to have one

*French national anthem plays as she walks down the aisle, webbed feet slapping the floor*

>>48025582
>Floridaman can't even drink his choccy milk in peace
Ah, now it all makes sense.

>>48025582
>Anon drowning
>Croc girl looking at him thinking he's agressively flirting with her.
One can see how it could lead to some interesting situations.

>>48025485
My favorite

>>48025621
She's gonna take him to the shore, so it all works out.

>>48025550
It's like they are looking at me...

>>48025638
>Anon really struggling for his life
>She's getting flirty and acting shy
>Eventually realizes he needs help
>Brings him to the shore, but now she fumbled the chance.
How will she recover from this?

>>48025686
Give him "CPR" and body warmth

>>48025636
>doing some geological exploration in the desert
>get lost during a sudden dust storm
>after a day trying to find the way back to your encampment the sun dries away all of your stamina
>the thirst is unbearable
>at noon the cold is starting to set in calling the night of the desert
>you see some ruins and take shelter there
>you lay to rest there with your back to a wall
>fall asleep
>suddenly you wake up with a girl wrapped in bandages putting her chest in your face
>you see some drops of liquid coming out of it
>you start sucking due to the thirst taking over your mind
>it's sweet, a bit sour but sweet
>you start sucking on her titties greedily for her delicious and rehydrating milk
>after a while you get satisfied and try to communicate to that girl
>she takes you hand and makes you follow her while she walks in a stiff way
>you go deeper inside the ruins where an Anubis opening a door greets and makes a call saying that there's another one
>then the Anubis says that after getting well rehydrated you need to replenish the mana of that Mummy that saved you
>the girl in bandages embraces your arm and starts laying by your side
>it seems that your daily life is about to change

>>48025716
nefarious creatures, exploit a man in crisis like that

>>48024718
Yes, and I'd rub her cute, lil', doggie nose. No lewd though.

>The large bat rapes you. You cum...

Foxes...

>>48025434
my lawn full of alarunes and claustrophytes will surely protect me from any undead menace headed my way

>Go to Eros Church
>Kabedon one of the single cupids
>She's so surprised she doesn't know what to say.
>She's just standing there with a slightly agape mouth, not knowing what to do
>Take a piece of chocolate and put it in her mouth
>Give her the sweetest kiss she could ever imagine, Spread the chocolate all over her lips and mouth
>Continue until it's all consumed
>She's confused and aroused
>Teleport away before she can even finish complrehending
Let the hunt begin.

>>48025927
>>Kabedon
?

>>48026008
why are you on /jp/ if you don't know the basics of otaku culture?

>>48026008
When someone pins you against a wall,slams their hand against it and leans in over you.

>getting bullied by a cute and funny elf

She doesn't want your help. Humans are the reason why she was thrown out to be a stray and abandoned, because humans are the cruelest. A human like you surely only wants to hurt her more. Humans only hurt things.....

>wurm was later jumped by kobolds, hounds and kikis
>she enjoyed being surrounded by fluff

Wish I was inside lamia tail right now

>>48026130
Wish I was balls deep inside Troll ass right now

>>48026115
Bratty werecat needs food, shelter and affection correction...

Dead /vg/ colony thread. Stop posting on /jp/ please and go back to your home board.

>>48026159
At least try to pretend you're not false flagging.

>>48025927
Thank you for not letting Cupids turn complacent.

>>48026129
I wanna see a friendly Wurm interact with a Bunyip cause they're both long.

>monster tried to solicit me again while I was walking back home from work
I need new clothes.

>>48026030
i dont get it

>>48026316
No matter what you wear they will accuse you of being a slut.

>>48026327
they're not wrong

>>48026327
Including the full Catarina set?

>>48026316
>wearing baggy clothes
>monsters say you're trying to make them guess what's underneath and that you're trying to entice them

>>48026316
But I'm the one taking a monster home after work each night, they make nice company

what is the most inoffensive thing you've seen someone here get offended by?

>>48026375
if you want to troll do your own homework

>>48026375
A reminder by someone that stories should be written in good faith.

>>48026375
Monster having anal sex

>>48026375
Lolis drive normalfags insane with rage

>Don't sleep on your back during a thunderstorm or a raiju will get you
Zapweasel confirmed sleep sexer

You wouldnt marry
a blueberry
Post demons

>>48026550
>You wouldnt marry
>a blueberry
you're right
i would marry 2 blueberries

when you're sleeping with a fairy in what position/placement does she cuddle?

>>48026571
An adult demon has two blueberries.

>>48026582
very big, ripe, and tasty bluberries

>>48026550
Sorry I prefer purple, so if I meet a blueberry I need to embarrass her with cheesy pickup lines and public handholding until she turns purp

>>48026600
I would marry her little sister

>>48026603
IS THAT

Raw unprotected blueberry sex with pulling out at the end

>>48026710
>pulling out at the end
>thinking she wont just wrap her tail around your waist to pull you in deeper
another case of demons outsmarting anon

>>48026710
Isn't that a crime? and the number 1 form of bullying in monster society

Which flavor of snek is this?

>>48026723
You don't grab your wife's tail for extra leverage?
>>48026749
I can't be stopped

>>48026749
Maybe the number one planned form. I doubt most men would have the mental fortitude to try once they get a taste, and the ones that do usually have to be quicker or stronger than monster legs. It's a rare thing.

>>48026749
>bully in highschool
>the only thing you do is fucking the girl you're bullying and not cumming inside her not even once
>you don't even allow her to swallow you dolls, you always pull out
>the principal is calling your parents for such behavior
>not the sex but cumming outside

>>48026723
Her tail can't be around my waist because its around my neck and the tip is in my mouth
Checkmate atheists

Bundle up, it's going to be a cold winter

>>48026871
You can defeat succs so easily with this one simple trick they all want you to know.

Both the Student Council President and The Leader of the Delinquents insist that they have to keep your sperm safe from each other, both insist that you deposit it inside them to prevent the other from obtaining it. Now there is an uneasy peace between the two groups since they are now pregnant, the principal holds a big announcement congratulating you for stopping this feud.

Ded

>>48026708
>>48026705
>smoking monster with a facial scar
My only* weakness...

>Good boy

>>48026991
Goblins, Orcs and Trolls make the best harem

>>48025907
Are we sure Chinese fockses are as good and enjoyable as the Japanese fockses?

>>48021848
Dear OP,
You are a based Ushi Lover.
<3

>>48027148
How about Japanese cats?

>>48027164
you should not the cat

>>48027148
I do not trust the Chinese fockses much more than the Korean fockses.

>>48027184
Korean foxes are most romantic of all the foxes.
They literally want you inside them all the time.
Especially your liver.

>kunoichi criticising your tenchu gameplay

>>48027164
>Chesh in Japanese priest outfit
I didn't knew that I want that

Dead hours

The meido's gone rogue!

>>48027469
That what happens when you dont give her daily allotment of headpats

>>48027469
She's making her master sad, he needs more booze

Tiger milk

>>48027484
Booze makes mastah sleepy, and meido needs him awake for headpats.

>>48027506
Master is only happy when he sleeps, she can pat herself with his unconscious hands

>>48027509
Kiki needs to learn some magic from the sleephorse to spend time with Mastah better.

>>48027524
You don't dream when you drink to sleep, it's full of nothingness, nothing to clean for that kiki

>>48027553
I rarely dream in the first place so I don't know how accurate that is. Anyway, it's enough if it's a featureless void with Kiki like that scene in the Matrix where Morpheus explains things to Neo.

You did not the cat, and now the cat will the (you)

>>48027595
Does offering tuna calm her down?

>>48027595
its not koturday yet
im immune to kot

>>48027610
It's Friday, so share your fries with a Black Harpy.

>>48027631
The Kot gang won't like that I help their rival

>>48027637
Kots shouldn't eat fries anyway.

>>48027642
Yes but they're a little yan

>>48027642
No, the harpies get the fries. The kots on the other hand get the cheeseburgers

>>48027642
but what if they want fish and chips?

>>48027653
A lot of sex is required to burn the fat afterward

>>48027657
>sex the kot after some fish and chips
>lay exhausted after a few hours
>kot pulls out another plate of fish and chips much to your dismay
>she explains that this is dinner fish and chips and they only worked off lunch fish and chips
>tells you to buckle up for round two as she starts munching

>>48027679
She better have a portion for me too.

Sensing weakness, the kots have launched a preemptive invasion. It might not be koturday but they are still here all the same

>>48027706
I have been wounded

>>48027679
I guess that's why the cat is so fat

Fat kots...

>>48027811
Are a plague upon the Kot community, a good and healthy cat is a fit cat, ready for high speed maneuvers and acrobatics

>>48027818
I only squish chonkers

According to all ai models I talked with monstergirls can only be wearing shorts and tops that barely fit on their tits 99% of time

>>48027993
Yes? That's common knowledge.
I mean, some of them wear cloaks like liches tho.

I'm gonna ride a bicorn while fucking my lizard girl wife.

In the depths of my folder, there stood an image I could no longer comprehend the meaning of.

>>48028313
What you see 10 seconds before Haku correction.

>>48028313
I think it was something in regards to a haku's daughter taking a dude

>Vampire hungry
>"I vould like to haave a bite to eat. Vould you like to come over for deener?"
for a race that live in the shadows they are pretty blatant.

>>48028313
>teenage haku entering her extreme brattiness know-it-all phase
>peak dunning kruger while also having just enough surface knowledge to "win" every superficial argument so she feels completely in the right and everyone is a fucking IDIOT except for her
>learned the ways of marital pilpul and trolling from her human father so you can never pin her down
I fear no monster... But that thing...?
She scares me.

>>48028534
They know you're a turbo slut for monsters and melt in the arms of any girl that shows you even the slightest amount of respect and affection. I mean at this point, it's like shooting fish in a barrel for them.

>>48028534
>vampire
>Pic's a dhampir
Oh boy.

>>48028534
Is the bite my neck? Is having me over for dinner a bit of wordplay, as in she's going to have me (my blood) for dinner by biting and sucking my neck?

>Can I come in please?

>>48028588
>Did you bring the pizza and video games?

>>48026779
It's a blueberry milk snake!
>duhhhh but milk snakes have stripes??
She hasn't earned them yet.
Or maybe they're blue stripes.

>>48028588
Can I?

>>48028588
>Jehovah's witness vamp

>>48028588
To enter the sectet base you must answer me these questions three!
1. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
2. What is the sound of one hand clapping?
3. What do I have in my pocket?

>>48028588
Sorry, no biters allowed. Only swallowers.

>>48028612
Who invited her

>>48028618
I did. I only allow girls that constrict and swallow.

Stop bullying my younger sister. Only I can do that.

>Collecting your whitehorn wife's shed antlers

See
what if the vampire is a queen?
so she technically owns the entire land, so she doesn't have to ask to be invited in as the house is effectively her property?

>>48028677
The curse doesn't care about silly papers and bureacracy. Anyone can manufacture ownership. Only the people that live there and have a connection to the home are allowed to invite her inside.

>>48028628
Every mamono can do that

>>48028668
>she mounts them above the mantelpiece
>jokes with your guests that they're all the other cows she had to fight to win your hand
>and all the rest that have looked at you the wrong way since
>laughs a little too long, squEEEzes your shoulder, and takes a deep drink of her 'nog
holidays with the family...

>>48028699
Lamias do it best though. And they can do it more ways than one. Only sandworms and serpentine dragons can give them a run for their money.

>>48026115
does she know how to play baseball? i'd play baseball with her

>>48028693
there must be a loophole somewhere

>>48028721
It's called gaining someone's trust.

>>48028721
what if she was the landlord of an apartment?

>>48028730
Same as before. Unless she lives in the apartment, she can't enter.

I will lick vampire feet

>>48028730
>>48028739
wouldn't she have the spare keys to the apartment then?

>>48028757
Your ceaseless foolishness will reward you with the life of a blood thrall.

Are we really rules lawyering vampires?
pretty sure the MGE vampire doesn't give two shits with the about of "rules" she already breaks

Perhaps dhampirs are not dorks.

>Ah, but I am afraid I have joined this so-called 'ome owner assosciation - vhich you are also a part of.
>I can thus enter your property
>As the kids say this century - thems the breaks.
>Now show me vhere on your neck you vish to be bitten.

>>48028821
DORK

I need troll and a holstaur as my parents

>>48028757
Sure, but i can easily make a duplicate of a key. Doesn't mean i live there.

>>48028847
Wow anon, how come you get to have two momsters?

>>48028870
I think he was going by the fact the lives in the apartment building that she owns, and therefore has access to everyone as per contract

>>48028875
>has access to everyone as per contract
No, you don't. There are laws preventing this kind of abuse in my country

>>48028874
I could always go for 3rd mom...

>>48028875
Yeah, but each apartment is its own separate home. Take for example houses that are joined by one wall. We already established ownership means nothing, so is she allowed to just enter the neighbouring home just because they are technically one building? Obviously not, so just because two homes are part of a bigger unit doesn't mean she can enter them.

>Vampire rings doorbell
>Open door
>She just walks right in
>"You can't do that."
>"Yes I can."
>She points at the door mat
>It says, "Welcome!"

>>48028908
This vampire is now legally my property and she will get headpat until she mindbreaks

>>48028908
This is why i have a "Stay out!" sign instead.

>>48028875
>as per contract
thats SUPER illegal

>>48028777
>Sunlight only weakens
>garlic makes her horny
>semen just as effective as blood
would be funny if have all these anti-vampire crap and it just doesn't work on her

Ms vampire can enter but only if she wears the cowprint microbikini and eats the complementary cookies that are totally not laced with military grade lactation drugs

>>48029035
>military grade lactation drugs
You mean concentrated holst milk?

>>48029035
>Making it easier for her to incubize you by feeding you with her mana rich milk.
You fool, you are handing yourself off in a golden platter.

>>48029042
Fun fact about the Holstein language.
Barn can mean home, work, shelter, and prison depending on the context!

Fun fact: milk

>>48029120
I'll take your entire stock.

>>48029133
What would your cow wife think of you drinking retail milk

huff vampire boots
huff dhampir boots

>>48029145
Of course if I had a cow wife I'd only drink her milk.

>>48029248
What's stopping you from getting cow wife

>>48029120
the more you know

Do not trust cows
CowCo. has been injecting their milkiest cows with their new secret production formula in order to weaponize cows.
If a random cow lady approaches you, do not engage, run away as quick as you can.
Don't let the corps win, keep yourself safe ou

>>48029407
Another anon lost to Big Moo.

>>48029349
Too small atk boost I have to pass

>>48029274
The dimension I live in.
>>48029407
No cow will need to approach me, I'll already have my face between her tits the moment I see her.

>>48029430
>Too small atk boost I have to pass
You have to milkify a salamande to get an attack boosting milk. Kikis are allrounders.

Im just gonna assume wurm milk is the defense variant?

Stop talking about cows or you'll alert the hags

>>48029497
Or the ropurotto sabbath.

>>48029466
int penalty, hp up, defense big up, alcohol tolerance up

>>48029503
She cannot justify being this smug

>Hand over ye booty!

>>48028313
I remember it was posted along with a story.
>>/jp/thread/S46098979#p46101887

How do you imagine your wife's milk would be? What kind of stats bonuses would it give? Does it have any special effects, and how does it taste?
>Oomukade milk.
>+20 Attack, +20 agility
> +50% resistance to all other poisons
>Curse: Inflicts paralysis, can be resisted. Slightly addictive
>Has a purple tinge to it. Taste is creamy, but somewhat bitter.

>>48029747
>Cheshire milk
>+60% speed +30% agility +10% strength
>Can teleport but lose hp when doing it
>Delirium :
>1/3 chance of nothing happening,
>1/3 chance of getting inflicted with maniac laughter
>1/3 chance of raging mushroom bloodlust
>Highly addictive

One night in Hagville and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but their pearls ain't free
You'll find a God in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky, then the God's a milf
I can feel an Angel sliding up to me

>>48029902
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.

>>48029902
>Hagville is so devoid of male citizens and tourism that they resort to expensive musical numbers on TV

Imagine monster girl bullies going to far and really emotionally hurting a guy and then trying to backpedal when everyone is giving her disgusted looks.

>>48030069
Great, now we have two people going to therapy. Miss Mindflayer is already almost booked full.

>>48030069
Monster bullies are so dumb that they don't realize I'm enjoying it

Marry and fix evil girls

>Tomboy?
>You're the tom, boy.

>>48030069
You can't backpedal from that, they won't go together since it would be a bad ending. The victim is traumatized and want to be left alone. The bully shouldn't be forgiven and should fuck off if she's truly sorry. They're no good and bad bullying, it's always disgusting.

>>48030069
>Only backpedal because she lost social status
She's a human woman in MGC highschool , right?

Thank goodness no monsters are able to trespass the sanctity of my Order pillow fort. I have a sign on it that says "No girlz, no cooties allowed". They CANNOT enter.

>>48030242
>It actually works
>They can't enter
>instead the place a plate of cookies just outside of it so you have to leave to get them.
What now, order man?

>>48030211
Built for paizuri

>>48030279
Have you saw those self mummified Buddhist monks? That.

>>48030242
>the roof was an ittan momen all along

>>48029631
It won't be long until the ship they are raiding realize that the mamano pirates don't mean the loot and plunder kind of booty.

>>48030308
There are monsters in your walls? No, monsters are your walls. Well, sometimes they're in your walls instead if you have normal, boring walls.

>>48030242
All is fun and games until they send a trojan alp to anon's fort.

>>48030407
How terrifying is Captain Slickbush?

>>48030407
Feel the eel or walk the plank, time to decide.

>>48030415
Pretty terrifying. Mamano pirates are primarily human trafficers, kidnapping men from ships and coastal settlements and selling them to other mamano as husbands.
>>48030455
Walk the plank into the waters full of Mersharks.

Mamono pirates suck at liar's dice

>>48030464
What if the water if filled with creepy frilled mersharks?