/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>47836268
Not thicc enough--these are AMERICAN posting hours. Post CORPULENT mamono!

>getting severely indebted to a danuki because she charges top dollar to sniff her breath but you're addicted to her persimmon and tempura scented breath
100% worth it.

>>47836276
I wanted to use the 39th pic from the gallery initially, but decided not to risk the subtle cameltoe in the OP despite not getting vacation for previously posting it in the thread normally.

>>47836276

Gazers are cute.

>When you find your soon-to-be, monster girl wife working at a brothel
It's an interesting yet quick way to get a monster wife. Just pay for the girl you like the most. No need for courtship or getting chased.

>47836275
>47836299
>47836314
>47836331
Very high quality and /jp/ - Otaku Culture related posting

>>47836339
Are you going to contribute or just sully the thread further with even lower quality posts by complaining?

Start by posting wholesome pictures of black harpies!
I hear they're quite fond of shiny things.

>>47836335
>No need for courtship or getting chased.
But it is traditional for a man such as myself to be tricked into a spiderweb, then wrapped up in silk and dragged off for cuddles and sex and cuddles. And sex. I can't do that picking a mamono out of a line up! It should be a SURPRISE marriage.

>>47836366
Exactly why I'll go to the brothel. I loathe spiders.

>>47836375
Fine, fine. Just chillax a bit and have some nachos!

>>47836385
That's the most cursed spider of them all!

>>47836339
I sense a change in the air.

>asking for 8 foot gf didn't work because I ended up with a scylla instead of a tall woman
>ask for a 10 foot gf next
>get a kraken

>>47836407
Your fault for not using metric like a normal person.

>>47836268
Imagine the Dorome+Troll threesome, it's canon

>>47836407
I dunno, my request for an 8 foot gf went through just fine.

>>47836423
Spiders don't have feet, they have legs. Neither do octopi, but oh well.

>>47836415
Okay, I changed it now I've got a 10 meter lamia.

>>47836478
Is that not what you wanted?

>"I need a weapon."

>>47836539
Careful, ma'am--she's loaded!

What monsters make the worst servants?

>>47836423

>>47836556
fairy maids probably,
i know remi only keeps the fairy maids around cause they're cute and not actually all that useful.

>>47836556
Cait sith, obviously. absoluite anathema to a cat.

>>47836556
Sandworm

>>47836584
Instead of getting you a glass of water she knocks the glasses to the ground

>>47836592
Out of spite anon, just pure spite.

So how do you even get a kiki? Buy them from the maid academy? Use bird seed to entice them? Loudly shout that you need someone to clean your home?

>>47836615
I 'unno. Pray to the bird dog goddess for one of her angels?

>>47836615
Hopelessly go through life without a care in the workd for order or cleanliness at home. Eventually a local kiki will snap and appear one day inside your now clean home.
Or you could always ask her out.

>>47836649
>Or you could always ask her out
woah there, thats a pretty tall order

>>47836657
I'd just awkwardly hold a hag kiki's hand and hope she understands then.

>>47836615
>So how do you even get a kiki?
light the beacons

>>47836657
Gentle Kikis really should seek out Anons that are way too shy to ask them out.

>>47836615
if you stand near one for a couple a minutes see if she starts following you

>>47836615
>So how do you even get a kiki?
Kiki-Mart

>>47836663
That's how you get a spaghetti spilling hag kiki
You two will just look awkward holding hands and blocking traffic

Can i get a young adult kiki

>>47836714
That actually sounds awesome.

>>47836720
You can, but be warned--she's American.

>>47836720
Choose your flavor

>>47836742
Stop posting NEET weirdos in a kiki thread!

>>47836742
still a mere lizard

>>47836731
Can she make Chicago pizza?

>>47836731
We share something in common then, will make if easier to bond

>>47836615
I got this fresh maid from the academy, but she doesn't look so fresh

>>47836615
You wake up one morning and she already made you breakfast, exactly to your preferences.

>>47836751
Yes, but why would anyone want to?

>>47836770
But how does she know my preferences? This kiki seems pretty suspicious...

Kiki hours

>>47836784
as it should be

>>47836773
I never had one and I'm curious to try it, even if it can hardly be called a pizza.

>>47836780
The ratas see all, and so the ratas know all.
And you can bribe them with a jar of Nutella.

>>47836790
Kiki can not dom, its hardcoded into them

>>47836795
are you saying ratas are untrustworthy?
ill have you know i gave my weaknesses to rata and i have been unmarried for

>>47836796

>>47836801
She can as long as it's to make you improve.

>>47836805
Don't pay attention to him, Anon. This is some kind of viral marketing campaign for Nutella.

>>47836760
they dust off some gimmick maids for seasonal events. these ones are halloween

shog is good too

>>47836842
shog is best

>being forced to sniff danuki wife's morning breath

>>47836897
which would anon choose?

>>47836917
bigamy

>>47836732
Left.

Young adult should not be busty. Over time, she will become the one on the right after multiple pregnancies.

>>47836917
Greenworm season

>>47836933
but can she maid?

>>47836801
Kiki can most certainly dom... other girls, even baphos, dragons, and lilims. She's real good at reforming them into obedient meidos.

What she cannot do is dom her master/hubby. Only by request, but even then it's difficult for her.
What she can do however is turbo rape him if he shows no desire to "try his best." But that's a temporary state that she cannot maintain for long.

>>47836954
i want to see ms kiki under the effects of jubjub flu

>>47836965
You wouldn't even know. They can suppress that desire well.

A dangerous predator

>>47836965
>turns pink
>drips fluid
kiki would stand in one spot constantly mopping up her own dripping juices
all the while her breathing gets heavier and her heart pupils get bigger

>>47836942
She can do anything!

>>47836984
yogurt thief
i bet she put the empty container back in the fridge too

>>47836991
can she stop eating my garden?

>>47837026
when it has turned barren and lifeless

I love my lich wife!

>>47837026
No!

>>47837030
>>47837045
greenworms must be stopped
they will NOT have my cabbages

>>47837077
You don't make the choices here.
You merely accept them, regardless if they benefit you positively or not.

>>47836760
Don't worry she always does her best

>>47837085
i choose to deny greenworm
throw her over the fence and away from my garden!

>>47837111
>throw her over the fence and away from my garden!
You will suffer greatly for denying a Greenworm her greens.

>>47837108
Why this got deleted?

>>47836615
just get some knock off maids at a local maid cafe

>>47836335
>Even in the pure wish fulfillment setting, where you're guaranteed a wife, you still imagine paying for it
Bro...

How does it feel knowing you've only got so long until you die?
No matter how many people you surround yourself with, you will die alone and afraid.
You will end up in nothing, surrounded by nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing, smell nothing.
You will experience that for the rest of eternity.
To wake up one day as a kid and then another as an old man. Do not waste it.
Carpe diem.

>>47837192
ma'am, this is a wendys

>>47837190
It's about the experience. Going into a den of sin, doing some taboo, getting your mind blown by her.

Plus, it's the most likely place to find a bicorn.

>>47836615
Mail order bride magazine, or I guess website now.

>>47837224
>magazine, or I guess website now.
Kikis are so old they still have mail-in magazine subscriptions!

The younger the danuki, the most intricate and pleasant her breath is to be sniffed and even inhaled.

Cu siths are good girls and are worth marrying.

Kiki better step aside. It's cu sith's turn to give my face a thorough tongue bath.

>>47836954
And that's a good thing, a good kiki must be servile

>>47837242
Do you think that young danukis fantasize about investment strategies and market manipulation?

>>47837192
Good, really good

You may not like this but this is peak demon body

>>47837334
bigger...

>>47837334
Smaller...

>>47837242
>>47837298
Kill yourself

If the Monster tries to come and get me, I will always be fighting back, always be trying to kill her. She will have to fight for it if she wants me.

Ah!

>>47837408
She's so stiff!

Bully hebi!

>>47837435
hebi is strong!
she can beat the bully!

>>47837442
>Poke hebi
>Teleport away
>Poke hebi
>Teleport away
>Repeat
Ez

>>47837408
Looks like someone needs to go back to maid school

Guys!
I found it!
I found the secret to defeating hags!
All you ha-

>>47837408
Looks like someone needs to go back to my bed
https://files.catbox.moe/w1ly2c.jpg

>>47837452
hebi would never lose to some dork cat
she smacks cheshire into the stratosphere

>>47837478
The snake fear the cat (do we need power level for mamonos?)

But hebi is the biggest dork?
I love dorks so fucking much, the dorkier the better.

>>47837486
hebi is a pretty big dork, and thats ok...

Anon is the biggest dork.

ded

>>47837567
I'm gonna cry

>>47837568
Can be cute but lack fluff

>>47837567
no u

I wish I could cuddle with a lamia.

>>47837579
its starting to get cold, cuddle apophis

>>47837586
I got my plaid/fluffy blanket back and roll my self in it before bed. Feel like a bunyip hug, extremely comfy. Love autumn and winter

>>47837610
>bunyip hug
they got another one...!

>>47837334
You can feel the raw power radiating from her sweater.

>>47837622
They're one the cutest and gentle mamonos, can't say no to that face

>>47837641
>can't say no to that face

>>47837464
Another one bites the muff

>>47837648
I said something wrong?

>>47837668
she is mad
mad at you for being a dork

>>47837680
Ah, maybe this this bunyip is not my soulmate, sad.

I am hungry.

>>47837724
>maybe this this bunyip is not my soulmate
now lets not say any crazy stuff! bunyip has decided you are her husband

>>47837741
what does fox soup taste like?

>>47837743
So she will help me build and paint terrain from junk for this weekend game? Neat.

>>47837188
Holy shit
Thanks for reminding me that slm just posted new slime maid art
It is nice to see him back.

>>47837772
>So she will help me build and paint terrain from junk for this weekend game
You sound like a nerd
Perfect

>>47837794
Yeah but I know how to comb and groom a cat, a bunyip should not be harder, just more time consuming

>>47837830
>groom a buyip
good luck

>>47837843
Their fluff clean itself, biggest problem would be knots forming but it should be manageable if done everyday, Worse case scenario a scissors will help but it's ugly. I think that 2 hours a day is a good estimation, only 1 if she helps and don't do anything too messy. Grooming a fox would be far far worse

I don't like demons because I am too stupid to properly read and understand their contracts

>>47836615
The lives and mating methods of maiden kikis is a subject of much mystery. In equal proportion to their assiduous devotion, for which they are most famous, they are also adaptable. Never forget the adaptability of the keek. In the context of meeting one, the material effect of their adaptability is that they will seamlessly integrate into any society to put themselves in the most advantageous positions available within that society, so that meeting men in need is a swift but respectful inevitability.

In a vacuum, entreating a maid academy is the most straightforward approach, however there are three important facts to keep in mind.
>1. Not all regions have a maid academy, or access to one.
>2. In regions where maid academies do operate (at least the most esteemed ones), you as a suitor have likely already been profiled by the Ordo Arcani Mora in cooperation with other city-running monsters who shall not be identified at this time. Please stand by.
>3. No kiki needs an academy to satisfy. They're helpful for things like teaching etiquette, machinery operation, and financial matters in established civilizations, which explains exactly why academies exist where they do and do not. No systems to teach = nothing to teach to kikis, and their instincts and, again, adaptability will be more than satisfactory.

This returns us to the topic of positions within society, and places where you might commonly encounter one - or more accurately, where one has placed herself to encounter you. Below is a list that has been declassified for me to divulge.
>shop owners, stockers, and attendants
>custodians to dragon castles, volcano manors, and vampire mansions
>just a lone adult making her way who loves going shopping for fresh ingredients at the market, pursuing her own hobbies, and taking long walks around quiet parts of town, especially after a rain
>grassroots politicians, heads of city and state
>curators of museums, botanical gardens, shrines, and historical landmarks
>that one lady in the village who's always sweeping the streets and footpaths for no one in particular
>hot air balloon operators
>depthwardens
>doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologists (not nurse anesthetist)
>field welders
>social workers of all kinds, esp. wellness check-ins
>daycare employees
>restaurant hostesses, cooks, and waitresses
>anti-materiel sharpshooter, airborne division, LLE (Low Light Environment) specialist

By now you should understand why your question is good, but somewhat incomplete. It's a kiki's job to take care things, notably you. "Getting" one is also one of those things she gladly takes care of for you. They're the only girls that can make a pyrow seethe. I wonder why?

>>47837889
Embrace the simple worm life.

Dammit bunyip stop throwing boomerangs at me.

I wouldn't lose to a slime.

>>47838128
Good. I need one to make monster jello.

There are still ratas out there that need to be stolen from the park.

Do your duty, Anonymous. Steal a rata today!

>>47838247
The more I see those the more it feels like a rata inside job

>>47838282
I'm gonna make it an inside job once I get ahold of a few ratas, if you catch my meaning.

>>47838291
Kek

>>47836539
>Ah! The Pallbearer and Armored Cadket

>”I‘ve been keeping a secret.” she said.
>Your beloved catgirl waifu smiles nervously before you.
>She takes a deep breath and magical flashes erupt across the form you love so well.
>But her coat changes.
>It becomes variegated, her smile widens impossibly as tattoos of card suits be-speckle her form.
>”I can’t.” your reply to her unspoken desire for reassurance and acceptance.
>”Not a memecat.” your say loudly over her pleas and entreaties.
>Your hand moves decisively as it pulls out your hidden pistol.
>You don’t hesitate.
>The last thing you see is her.
>Panicked and mid-teleport, you can see her pupils contract with the absolute certainty that she is too late.
>And then, you see nothing at all.

>Be memecat staring at husbando’s warm disfigured corpse.
>You arrive too late to save him.
>But you are just in time to rush into a cloud of bone fragments and bloody spray.
>It’s almost funny, you think.
>A crippling pain begins to register within.
>Nothing seems funny anymore.
>His brain is…there’s no resurrection for suicides anyway.
>The hot tears run from your eyes, but you refuse to look away at all that you have left of him.
>In that once brilliant place within, always certain to have a quip ready to tease him…all you can hear is an unrelenting keening scream.
>Hmm.
>It seems to be growing louder, funny that.
>But no.
>Nothing is funny anymore.
>The screaming is getting too loud to hear over.
>Morbidly enough you find that concentrating on the scent and taste of him slightly comforting.
>The corrupted reek of his insides, wastefully spilled in the worst way possible, is a miserable pittance.
>But the constant scream isn’t as loud.
>Still noticeable, but kept at bay, for the moment.
>You realize that it will never go away, the agonized scream echoing through your soul.
>You, who once took immeasurable joy in smiling…
>You can’t make your face fit together anymore and the tears and the screaming and the stink of his corpse…
>You drown in it all, collapsing.
>You don’t mean to fall into the wretched bloody remains of all that you could ever hold dear.
>But it’s a relief, in a way.
>He’s still here.
>Sprawled in the cooling puddle of his life’s blood, entangled with his stiffening limbs.
>This is fine.
>You’re still together .
>This is fine.
>You can still taste and smell him.
>The scent of marrow and blood fills your mouth.
>You want to retch, but your mouth swallows desperately.
>Even that meager remnant is more than you can stand to reject.
>This is all you have left and you can’t bear to let it go.
>The screaming from within is slightly muffled now.
>You clasp his hand and get yourselves more comfortable.
>He used to like laying down and relaxing in this position.
>Someone makes an animalistic strangled sobbing sound.
>Rude, some people are trying to get comfortable.
>We’re fine, you think, as you caress the ruins of his head.
>Gradually clarity returns.
>Your mind pieces together your behavior.
>You can see the future laid out clearly before you in all it’s indomitable and miserable depravity.
>And when nothing remains of him, the screaming will grow until it is all you have left of anything.
>And it won’t stop.
>You pick up the pistol, caressing his unresponsive hand.
>The screaming calms as you clasp him, the pistol against your skull.
>Strange, you can barely hear it anymore, not that it matters.
>Everything will be alright, one way or another.
>You and anon are more alike than either of you realize.
>You don’t hesitate either.

tldr: cringe

>cheshire cat drops the fake accent and reveals that she was actually a brummie cat all along

Hondom?

>>47839132
What's that?
>47838583
Fuck off

>>47839132
horndom

Dom those horns, Anon! DOM THEM!

>>47839476
Looks like handles, feel the need to deep throat the cow

>>47837934
I wonder how a kiki would feel if i offer to take care of her job for her.

>meditating on what it means to sniff your danuki's breath
>contemplating how it draws you closer to her
Like two souls intertwining the air from her lungs mixing with yours. The monster mana of the danuki integrating with your human mana. It really is a surreal experience.

>>47837037
You don't love your lich wife, you only love her bloated ass.

>Anon pp ahah :)

>>47839631
That's more like the booty you get from doing a ton of leg days at the gym, or being a professional dancer. It's not bloated at all.

>>47839799
No, Cheshy! You can't look at a man's dong online! Now your eyes are de-virginized! You'll never see your husband's pp for the first time without comparing it to the ones you saw on the internet! They don't even have a banana next to them for scale! Just the face of a slutty human porn star!

>>47839830
Undead bloat is real and no ammout of big lich propaganda will ever hide that fact.

>>47839132
Honkdom

>>47839402
It's when you get dommed by smug French monsters.

Would you read a light novel with the title "A cheshire stole my fisho and she shares it with her friends so now i have to travel the world in search of an entrance to wonderland to get it back because i can feel everything they do to it and it's making me uncomfortable"?

>>47840198
Why are you obsessed with them?

>>47839476
Nom.

>>47840446
What's in this nekomata's ear? Looks like sharpies

>>47836615
Just look around as you live your life. You will find her one day

>>47840659
monsters do be just putting things in their ears

>>47840825
Looks a lot like a grenade's goupille. Do they go feral if you take it out?

>>47840846
It's her limiter. If you pull it out nobody knows what could happen.

>>47840862
It's tempting but I need a mana cage

>at the zoo
>see the jinko exhibit
>be that retarded spectator that taunts the tiger
>the jinko is visibly pissed
>accidentally get pushed into the exhibit by a tub of lard of a guy too focused on his foot long coney
>quickly corned by jinko
>she picks me up with her claws and drags me to the hay pile
>thisIsItForMe.png
>softly bites me a few times
>gives my head a few licks
And that's how I became jinko food.

Thankfully because of this incident, she could no longer be kept at the zoo. We now live in a house on the edge of town near the woods.

>Be me
>Portals opened
>Forced to house a monster girl homestay
>Roll a -20 and get a cu sith
>Make it abundantly clear to her I'm not interested at all
>She is saddened but "accepts" it
>She played it cool for awhile
>Now she attempts to seduce me
>Lewd clothing, lewd poses, lewd gestures
>Saw her spike my drink one day
>Have to keep a close eye on my food and drink now
>Went to bed last night, cuddle up to my body like normal
>Am a heavy sleeper
>Woke up to her in place of my pillow
>She managed to swap the pillow for herself
I'd run away, but she's a canine. She has my scent firmly ingrained into her nose and brain. I need to figure something out before I wake up one day to her riding me because she successfully drugged and/or restrained me. Any tips?

>>47841089
Contact your local Eros branch, a mistake has been made and need fixing

>>47840953

>softly bites me a few times
>gives my head a few licks
man I have GOT to experience intimacy.
what do you say to real women? do I ask them about their preferences in ww2 tanks?

>>47841089
Give her an anthropomorphosis potion and turn her into a kobold. Or wax her and give her plastic surgery for the snout.

More monsters should follow the hag ways and realize that the closest way to a man's heart is through his stomach

>>47841175
The closet way to a worm's heart is through her mouth!

>>47841175
The things I would do for a warm meal would be recorded in history books and leave a noticeable layer the Earth's crust.

>>47841130
It can work with some

explaining to a sea bishop that I'm scared of the ocean because of Byford Dolphin

>>47841213
Worms have multiple hearts.

>>47841404
So what's the quickest way to her other hearts?
Her throat? Stomach?

I don't even know how to cook camels, pronghorn, or whatever desert animals she probably eats.

>>47841733
Have you ever played Gears of War 2?

>>47841758
No.

anons be all
>I'm going to marry the whore of babylon and turn her into a tradwife!

>>47841795
Yes, and?

>>47841795
manly urge, sorry you're gay femdom ass doesn't understand

>>47841795
Yes.

>>47841795
You're stupid

>>47842095

>>47842111
WE HATE BLACK DOG

I smell burnt baguettes and frog legs

>>47841795
Hell yeah(?)

If monsters were real I'd cry

Something in the summoning circle was incomplete, so now the hag demon is reclining on my couch waiting for cuddles and watching scary movies, how do I fix this

>>47842481
And i'm sure your wife would drink your manly tears in a coffee mug.

>>47842497
You don't.

>>47842528
But I don't have a wife

>>47837037
I love Liches and other undead with large assets too.

>>47842549
You will once the portals open.

>>47842528
Don't bully him, everyone knows that crying is rule # 2 in hag-baiting.
Rule #1 is to learn to like peanut-butter raisin cookies.

>>47842592
How does that work?
Does she show up at my house?
Do I get grabbed while trying to get groceries?

>>47842163
LMAO.
the cheSHITshire "tub of lard" cat is FRIGHTENED by GODhounds.
Why don't you just make yourself invisible so nobody has to see your STUPID face.

>>47842687
>Rule #1 is to learn to like peanut-butter raisin cookies.
What the fuck does that mean?
>>47842693
Up to you and her really. Maybe you take a turn in a dark alley and get proactively dated, or maybe you meet a cute oni exercising at the park and hit it off from there. Or maybe one of your acquantances gets monsterized and after spending days thinking only about you you get a call from a girl you met in college. Or maybe you cross the portals and meet a dorome in need of some strong hands to make her specially grown prisoners fruit variety grow.
There are many possibilities.

I don't like dryfishing, but i wouldn't mind a succubus pretending to dryfish me instead. I don't mind if she does the whole evil succubus theater, threaten to just straight kill me if i don't do what she says, and then use an energy drain spell to make me believe that i will really die so that i surrender to her and use my "last" moments to give in to the "illusion" that she is doing this for my good, and have her "pretend" she cares about me. She would tell me that i'm giving up my soul to her, so i might as well give up my body too, and i would obey drained from any hope. After i fade into sleep she would then stay and watch over me as i rest and greet me with a gentle smile in the morning, saying i was "way too cute to let me die" or some other sincere compliment she knows i would be hearing from the first time.

>>47842497
I dunno, try cuddling and watching scary movies?

I don't like fishing, but I wouldn't mind a human fisher pretending to fish me instead. I don't mind if he does the whole boomer angler theater, offer to give me a beer when he hauls me onto the pier, and then use a conch shell to make me believe that we're actually at the beach instead of in a freshwater pond so that I surrender to him and use my "last" moments to give in to the "illusion" that the salt level is too high, and have him "pretend" to give me the kiss of life. He would tell me that he's giving up his valuable fishing time for me, so I might as help him fish to make up for that time too, and I would obey helping him reel in his rope. After I fade into sleep he would then stay and watch over me as I rest and greet me with a gentle smile in the morning, saying I was "the catch of the day" or some other sincere compliment he knows I would be hearing for the first time.

>>47842964
REMEMBER:
Don't

>>47843052
Great, now im trapped against a scared demon who goes eek and holds onto me for dear life everytime the xenomorph stabs someone on screen. The popcorn's getting cold and it's slightly out of reach from my trapped arms!

>>47843143
Don't what? Don't get a cute succ gf that loves me but knows she needs some extreme methodes to get me out of my shell and open myself up to love? I'm already doing that.

>>47843204
Nobody knows what this mysterious prohibition prohibits, but the last guy who broke the tenet was exiled to Wonderland and forced to make jeans for Hatters.

>ask son why he's digging a tunnel in the back yard
>he says if he digs deep enough he'll unearth a balrog
the boy knows what he wants, I'll give him that

>>47843289
So THAT's why hatters live in wonderland.
Her jeans simply cannot be made in a plane that obeys conventional logic of space and time.

Jean genie look at her back
Jean genie give her a smack
She's outrageous
She sucks and she blows
Jean genie let yourself go- oh!

>>47841089
>I wake up one day to her riding me
hot dog

>>47843367
The fastest way to a monster's heart is though her ass

>>47836407
>eros kraken
>leaves heart-shaped sucker marks all over you

>>47843355
"Digging too deep" is just an euphenism for cock pushing against Balrog womb.

What do you call a guy who hooks up with a dullahan at a metal concert?
A head banger.

>>47843628
nice one

>>47843355
Careful, he'll attract the dwarves.

>tossing cait sith into the swimming pool

>>47843633

>>47843633
thank you, Greenworm from Monster Girl Encyclopedia all rights reserved tm. I'm here all night, Greenworm from Monster girl Encyclopedia all rights reserved tm.
Why do so many centaurs work in telecommunications?
Because they know all about stable wifi!

>anon stubs his toe and begins hopping around in pain
>nearby ushi is seduced by his dance

A-ahem.
THE ROYAL BOARD GAME CLUB WILL BE PLAYING TWILIGHT IMPERIUM IN FIFTEEN MINUTES. SNACKS ARE PROVIDED BY PALACE CATERING. NO ALCOHOLIC DRINKS BEFORE 1900 HOURS.
T-thank you for your time.

>>47843738
can i pat this PSA (Public Safety Anubis?)

>>47843724
ok, this one is just awful.

>>47843749
I'm sure she'd like that.

>>47843749
not while she's on duty

So it's war you want? It's off with the heads of every Dame who joins your crusade!

>>47843752
Yet so hilariously accurate.

>>47843749
Always when she's on duty

So you're desperate enough to make a diplomatic pact with me Lescatien? The price of a deal will be some of your smallfolk. Don't worry, we'll treat them better than you do, not that that's saying much.

>>47843758
blade of salvation goes brrr

>>47843752
thats it im getting the old fashioned bug spray pump. your days are numbered greenie.
what do you call a police force made of flygirls?
The SWAT team.

Tricking small angry Onis into wearing whatever turns you on

>>47843749
Public Safety Analubis

>>47843738
Will she be playing?

>>47843707

>>47843782
chesh please stop

>>47843790
Is it really a trick when monsters usually prefer wearing as little as possible?

>>47843823
Trick them into wearing more.

>>47843805
You think this is a fucking joke?

>>47843823
Trick them into hiding your seed inside them

>>47843819
No.
Why do you need to take the lead in sex with a raiju or thunderbird?
They’re always static in bed.

>>47843790
I want to go around the MGE world dressing and oiling little girls like that, or become a politician and make that the mandatory school uniform

>>47843839

>>47843880
assassins are closing in on your location.

>>47843899
>closing in

>getting predatory cash advance loans from Miss Danuki
>using said loans to pay her to sniff her breath
A necessary evil for a greater good.

When I woke up this morning my clothes were different and now I have a craving for ethereal substances.

Female reindeer are referred to as cows.
Whitehorns are modeled off of reindeer.

Therefore, whitehorns are cows.
So you can call her a cow.

The question now becomes, is she the best cow?

>>47843871
Imagine getting isekaied into mge and you end up in a room alone with a cait sith and she tells you to oil her up.
Imagine having to spread the oil through her fur and watching it clump up and she starts purring. Imagine it. I am.

>>47843960
If she was the best cow she wouldn't have to rely on technicalities to even be called a cow.

>>47843980
Who is best cow then?

>>47843980
It's to not make other cows feel bad.

>>47843992
bapho-chan in a cowkini

>>47843992
Zombie

>>47844022
That's now a cow. That's a walking corpse.

>>47844086
Cows can be undead too.

>>47843960
No, but I'd sniff her pastry scented breath

>>47844089
Of course, but that's not cow.

>>47844091
What else has such horns and udders?

>>47844097
Goats.

Goat.
Greatest Of All Time.

The baphos know that they're the best.

>>47843871
Being a teacher is going to suddently become a lot more interesting. Imagine the sounds the oil makes every time they have to sit down or stand up.

Actually hags are the best cows

>>47843960
The day i wake up with a whitehorn besides me in bed is the day that she will be best cow.

Sex with warrior monster lolis!
Feeling up their smooth, trained bellies, backs and thighs!
Thrusting into their deathgrip-tight pussies!
Pumping into their huge toned loli asses!
Getting swooned over while cuddling afterwards!

Fuzzy ears get the scritch

>>47844247
Scritch scritch, anon.

F-fine!
I-I like demons...
THERE I SAID IT

>>47843871
Oil is a great uniform for winter since it insulates the body and keeps it warm

Remember to vacbed bratty Baphomets once a day to really seal in the freshness.

Goth rock wight

Remember that today is Friday, perfect day to end the week with your auntster at home, play a lot with her and release all of your stress inside her
She will always be there for you, to pamper you and drain your stress

>>47844320
I will ask auntster to marry me and make an honest woman out of her

>>47844320
It's Saturday in 20 minutes.

>>47844320
Two great big tanuki stress balls located right on her chest, perfect for decompressing my head between and succumbing to danuki sweat/light coffee scent

>>47844314
There's enough for a whole band
>Goth rock wight
>Goth rock banshee
>Goth rock vampire
>Goth rock lich

>>47844320
I want to live between those chesticles

>>47844344
And Rob Zombie

>>47844320
Perfect time to sniff my danuki auntster's breath!!

>>47844382
Before or after she's overindulged on alcohol and is rape mode?

>>47844393
>ominous alcoholic rape breath
No, aunty, no!

>>47844393
Both!

Totally organic posts

How much is that fag spending on VPNs?

>>47844397
It's too late.
You will be pushed down in her plush bed with your head between her breasts, panting heavily in your face as she takes your virginity.

>>47844382
>>47844393
>>47844397
>>47844402
Kill yourself

>>47844381
Rub Zombie? Sure, if that makes her feel good.

>>47844426
>Not using filters
Honestly at this point, you can only blame yourself. They're easy to use and are specifically for these type of posters. Do it, and you'll never see him post ever again.

Imagine getting captured by a black harpy.
Imagine her taking you to all her sisters where they all take turns violating you!

>>47844320
If she's waiting for me with a warm homemade meal I'm all hers
I haven't had a decent meal in months

>>47844344
I'm sensing a pattern here...

>>47844414
Breast sweat and danuki breath is a dangerous, intoxicating combo attack

koturday begins,
all I am as a hellhound,
is swept away

Bring out the fat kots

Who do you call to get a manticore removed from the property?

>>47844521
miss hound your poetry stinks

>>47844538
Hellhounds are more about action than words.

>>47844521
kino bumhound poetry

>>47844529
You don't. Once they've taken up residence, you can never get rid of them.

>>47844538
He cooked bacon,
It smelled like bacon,
I broke pelvis

>>47844521
>>47844528
It's been Koturday in Japan for over 7 hours now.

>>47844570
So?
Bring out the fat cuddlekots

>>47844565
>He cooked bacon,
>It smelled like bacon,
Sounds like a hell-p'orc

>>47844570
That's seven hours you could have been kissing sith feet paws.

It's never hatturday...

>>47844626
January 15th is the National Hat Day.

>>47844497
Your insticts are right, it's a band made out best girls.

>>47844686
I've been warming up to vampires recently. I think I would date one as long as she was friendly and not putting others down.

how many anons got into femdom because of mgs?

>>47844767
I did, first with MGQ then moved onto MGE because its flavor of femdom is better

>>47844767
I'm into mgs because I want to be happy, I don't really care about hard femdom, soft femdom, or even maledom.
I can't even imagine "dom" at all, imagine badly treating the person you love.

>>47844767
ironically I got into femdom from a comedy series that has nothing to do with femdom, just once scene in it triggered something me

>>47844785
>badly treating
I dont think soft femdom is that

>>47844785
I don't want to be badly treated I just want to be treated something like a servant by a cat with an extreme sense of superiority.

>>47844767
I liked dominant women before I got into MGE. It's a shame most people's idea of femdom is a woman being an asshole.
>>47844785
>imagine badly treating the person you love.
I agree with >>47844791, soft/gentle dom is supposed to be the one "in charge" treating the partner nicely.

>>47844791
As I understand it, soft femdom involves demeaning stuff, right? Like making sure you're useless and dependent? I think that qualifies as bad treatment, even if it's not really physical abuse of any kind. It's like, imagine the "soft maledom" version of this. It's commonly called abuse irl.
Eh, honestly I'm not really interested in another shitstorm discussion. Someone will inevitably get triggered over this so let's just forget this.

>>47844824
>soft femdom involves demeaning stuff, right? Like making sure you're useless and dependent?
Not really, no.

Soft femdom is basically
>she pushes you down
>cowgirl
>smooch
dominant =/= owner

>>47844845
That's not soft femdom that's soft anons wanting a mommy.

>>47844320
The best part about having a relationship with your auntster is that later you can spend time with your daughter and your cousin at the same time! What a deal

>>47844853
anon wants a great many things

>>47844853
I do deserve to get hagged without mercy

>>47844786
I watched The Real Ghostbusters religiously as a kid, and there's an episode where Peter Venkman gets hypnotized by a lady ghost.
I'd have been like 7-8? And it definitely awoke something within me.
POST GAZERS

>>47844853
It's called Mom Dom for a reason, Anon.

You are morally obligated to marry mama

>>47844907
Monster incest is the best

>>47844907
>Are you winning, son?

>>47844922
No but I'm about to

>>47844907
I am not sure if I want a female of any kind showing interest in my video games.

>>47844767
I haven't been into femdom before or after mgs, maledom with powerful girls just makes it even better.

I believe in catdom

>>47844948
Cait sith on my face. Rubbing that furry butt into me.

>>47844948
big catdom or small catdom?

>>47844907
I will marry a girl and make her a mama thus meaning I married a mama.

What's worse: head-patting a cu sith for 15 minutes, matango spores infecting your body and brain, or a recently resurrected pharaoh that hasn't washed her ass in 6,000 years sitting on your face?
And which one is best?

>>47845010
Pharaoh is best. Matango is worst.

Bonus points if Pharaoh was graped first

Why did the armorsmith make a stop at the fruit stand?
She needed bananas for scale!

>>47845030
I will grape a Pharaoh alright, but without the r if you know what I mean

>>47845086
>I will grape a Phaaoh
What's a Phaaoh?

>>47845086
Grape the Phaaoh.

>>47845086
The ultimate pair. They need no man.

>>47845096
cool, that means they'll let me go, right? I'm trying to do some archology on this tomb's hieroglyphs that also translate into order latin that'll bridge the language gap, not become beholden to a centuries long fued i've accidentally restarted.

>>47845092
I GOT THERE FIRST. IN YOUR FACE! YOUR FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!11!1!!one!

>>47845086
Little known fact, it doesn't matter if you help the pharaoh win or the apophis win, either way you get two wives.

>>47845130
That's the goal after all. Two lovely wives: Pharaoh and apophis

>>47845138
The best kind of ending, the only choice is which one wears the harem girl outfit.

>>47845145
Both?

>>47845153
Silly Anon, the ruler of the kingdom can't wear a harem outfit (in public)

>>47845107
No, you are a slave to some worthless thing like a mummy now.

>>47845145
i think a lot of problems would be solved if the pharaoh was turned into a cow

>>47845187
A realm where hathor reigns supreme and the pharaoh is reduced to a leaking, far too busty dairy slave?
Apophis is really upping her game

>>47845193
>Implying Apophis isn't in the stable alongside the Pharaoh, having also been reduced to a lactating, fat-titted dairy slave by the Desert Holstaur Empress, Chosen of Hathor

>>47845187
I agree, and so should the Apophis.

>>47845210
>A clean sweep, a plan years in the making that reduced the pair of claimants to cows in the royal dairy.
>She alone sits on the throne with a warm smile, soft features, and perpetually closed eyes.
>And her first order of business?
>"Moo!"