/jp/ - Otaku Culture

It doesn't say what kind of reptiles, they could be sea turtles or something.

Burning coffin for me. See you guys there.

ｄｉｐｐｅｄ　ｉｎ　ｐｏｏｐ　ｆｏｒ　ａｌｌ　ｅｔｅｒｎｉｔｙ
ｓｏｍｅ　ｐｅｏｐｌｅ　ｄｏ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｆｏｒ　ｆｕｎ

Dudes who like violence are boiled alive in blood.

How is that pleasant?

I wouldn't mind being the tree, not like I'd have nerve endings to feel being ripped apart.

Who's joining me in the City of Dis?

Looks like I'll be "blown" by wind.

Oh, boy! I get to push rocks!

Fifth Circle is basically Valhalla.

See you at the bottom of the River Styx.

>Flatterers
>Immersed in human excrement
That's pretty poetic, actually.

>>4763775

More or less!

>>4763788

It's almost as if it was written by one of those people that does poems.

>>4763735
Wait, they're fighting ON the River? So they're all fucking fighting each-other while in boats? This is the best thing ever.

Either blown by endless wind or in a burning coffin

I don't think that people who say "not so terrible" about these punishment know what eternity means. Even the lightest punishment, just barely there, would be excruciatingly painful after a while, and it would only get worse, because eternity means that it would never end. Never.

>>4763805
But the human mind can't contemplate eternity so eventually you'd either go insane or forget everything.

Probably going to end up a tree. Sounds like good times.

>>4763805
Eternity means you would get used to it pretty damn fast.

Getting whipped by demons can't be so bad. Tough part is becoming a seducer before I die.

>>4763813
The true torture is boredom. But it's exactly the same in Heaven, so..

>>4763805

None of these things compare to the fact that you'd be doing them for a very long time. Iron cloak nothing, you'd get bored.

Even Judas is probably just daydreaming despite getting nommed on because he's so absurdly bored after 2000 years.

>>4763813
Let's take that cloak of lead. Go out and get a cloak or something else which just hangs off of your shoulders, and weight it down with heavy stuff. See how long you'll be fine wearing it. It just gets worse, it doesn't get better.

I'll be chillin with my homeboys Socrates and plato in the first circle of hell.

>>4763827
It doesn't say I have to walk anywhere, I can just lie on my back on the ground.

>>4763819
Heaven isn't boredom, in heaven you have a perfect life. If it was boring, it wouldn't be perfect.

"Desert of blazing sand with rain of constant fire."
All the way to the seventh circle? That's really harsh. Thinking of hell makes me kind of sad, why would people think up such horrible stuff like this?

>>4763833
If you're in hell being punished, do you really think that they would let you lay down?

>Engaged in combat with one another on the surface of the River Styx
The Norseman in me thinks this is awesome.

>>4763835
But the human mind cannot comprehend perfection.

Struck by grief ? The same as my actual life. Bring it on bitch, I can live like this for 1000000000000000 years without giving a shit.

>>4763837
I don't think anyone in hell really cares anymore. I figure all the demons just slack off anyway.

>>4763836
It was actually satire, believe it or not.

>>4763827
No, you're an idiot. It would grow worse only for a single day as you get adjusted to it. After that you would be adjusted to it. There's no "getting better", I'm not saying you'll suddenly enjoy wearing a cloak of lead. But it wouldn't be as bothersome as it was at first, it would be just your normal day routine.

>>4763840
The human mind can not comprehend infinity, and yet we live in a universe infinite in size. A child's mind can not comprehend the full extent of society, yet they survive until they (at least partially) can. Being unable to comprehend something does not mean that you can not partake of it.

Fuck punishment, I say we overthrow the demons. We can take them, I'm sure there's more than enough humans down there to outnumber the fuckers.

>>4763848
Ad Hominem is always the best way to argue your point!

>>4763852
I read a book where something like this happened. It's definitely possible.

>>4763842
Take those 1000000000000000 years, then multiply them by 1000000000000000 for 1000000000000000 times, then multiply that for 1000000000000000 times, repeat forever.

Are there computers in hell ? Or will we have powerlevel shitstorms about the demons down here ?

>>4763851
the universe is not infinite

Second circle, or fifth.

>>4763855
That wasn't an ad hominem, that was just an insult. Learn what ad hominem means, idiot.

>>4763836
you need to control people somehow
so saying you'll be tortured forever and ever would be a pretty adequate threat to get people to shape up,
though the irony is that not even the threat of burning for all eternity seems to be able to get some people to shape up...

>>4763861
Amon is so much more powerful than Baal!

>>4763856
For sure. We're going to be suffering/dying over and over again for all eternity anyway, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Let's make a promise now to meet up in hell anyway.

>>4763866
>Ad hominem abusive

>Ad hominem abusive usually involves insulting or belittling one's opponent, but can also involve pointing out factual but ostensible character flaws or actions which are irrelevant to the opponent's argument. This tactic is logically fallacious because insults and even true negative facts about the opponent's personal character have nothing to do with the logical merits of the opponent's arguments or assertions.

Your insult was a method of undermining me, and so was connected to your argument. Therefore, ad hominem.

If I see anyone else in the fifth circle, I'm going to kick your ass.

>>4763878

Sure. But you gotta get me out of that burning coffin first.

>>4763848
not really
getting "used to it" is a function within the brain
if god is really as much of a dick as Christians portray him to be he can just switch those functions off so that everyday is just as painful and dreadful as the last.

>>4763856
Doom is not a book.

>>4763897
Actually it is. First one is pretty faithful to the game, but it diverges wildly after that. You should track them down and give them a read.

I would rape the demons and shit everywhere until they gave me my own place. It would be the Twelfth circle and I would play Touhou and browse the internet everyday. You guys could come join me but I would demand a go at your ass every once in a while.

>>4763888

I'll see if they'll let me wheel you up to Styx. We'll make it into a boat.

>>4763902
Yeah, I can't believe they made them aliens instead of demons from hell. I think it's less scary when they're just aliens.

This ice was made for me

>>4763882
You're an idiot, therefore your argument is wrong. That is an ad hominem abusive. Simply insulting someone is not an ad hominem abusive, it's just abusive.

>>4763904
>>It would be the Twelfth circle and I would play Touhou and browse the internet everyday.

So we are already in hell?

>>4763897
The Doom books are pretty decent reads for young adult trash fiction. But that's not what I was talking about; I meant the City Infernal books.

>>4763909
It does not have to be your entire argument in order for it to be part of your argument. Did I say that your entire argument was ad hominem? Nope. Is part of it? Yup.

>>4763905
Dude I can be the boat. You just have chase those fucking harpies away.

It's a wonder lustful people get off the hook so easily.
I would think lust is one of the most evil sin.
But someone commiting suicide has it worse.
Even in hell, bitches and whores everywhere ?

He's getting really frustrated; keep it up!

>>4763923
Don't worry, I'll rape them. While on fire.

>>4763905

We'll turn tree guy here >>4763923
into a boat. We'll get some of the Norsemen and start a rebellion.

I'll be ammo for the catapult.

>>4763873
This is actually quite true. You take a huge amount of people, including all kinds of criminals, opportunists and backstabbers, into one place, and put them in a position where they have absolutely nothing to lose no matter what they do, it's like they're asking for a rebellion. Considering where all war criminals, assassins, barbarians, thugs and dictators go, we could probably even take over heaven. Think about it, we got Hitler on our side, damnit.

I read the book, and me being a muslim makes me go to the 8th ring (woho!)

According to Dante's Philosophy I'm a Schismatic. I always wanted to groin by sword. But hey, it's fiction so who cares anyway.

/jp/ meetup in hell. See you guys there.

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

>You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

Awesome.

>>4763938
>we could probably even take over heaven
It's that kind of greed and overconfidence that always ruins everything for Lucifer, idiot. Just be happy to overthrow the demons and leave it at that.

>>4763920
You don't seem to understand what an ad hominem is.

I love you /jp/.

>>4763952

We could turn hell into a /jp/ paradise if we succeed.

>>4763952
Agreed. Let's just turn hell into our own heaven.The demons can be our bitches while we have an oncoming endless supply of new humans who will always be entering.

Pffft. You guys and your Hell takeover plans.
I get to brawl for eternity. That's pretty awesome.

>>4763952
Just like with Hitler ;_;

We should totally build our very own warship in the River Styx.
You can have my lead coat, maybe you can use it has ammunition for the cannons.

>>4763946
>Muslim
>Reads
>on /jp/

>>4763938
Hitler was a failure as a strategist, but we would probably have this guy on our side:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subutai

>>4763962

If we take over hell, we can build an arena where you can still fight forever.

Which Hell are we going to take over? There are still two powerful oni missing..

>>4763965
Damn it, this whole plan was fucked from the beginning...

Do you think GIRUGAMESH is waiting for us here ?

>>4763976

Yes, and he is pushing rocks to the center of a circle.

>>4763969
And Saladin. And Caesar.

Hey guys can I borrow some money? I need to buy some repellent for these lizards. I promise to pay you back.

>>4763938

>we could probably even take over heaven

Satan had that same idea!

Oh. Right. God is a mary sue.

>>4763999
that's the joke.jpg

/jp/ - Otaku Culture should become :

/jp/ Abandon All Hope, You Who Enter Here

>>4763980
Caesar can suck a cock, I hope we get this guy though.
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/justinian.html
Fucker issued an arrest warrant for the pope because he disagreed with him over a theological interpretation.

No one's joining me at the bottom of the River Styx? Oh well.

>>4763999

Relax, Anon. You'll have one thing Satan didnt.

Me.

>>4763999
God invented Mary Sue.

>>4764007

Orthodoxy or death!

>>4763982
There's no such thing as lizard repellant. Instead, we deal with their food supply which drives them away. In this case, their food supply is you.

>>4763861
>>4763870

I like fapping to pictures of Astaroth while listening to Yasunori Mitsuda's version of her theme song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsDUEPvuVyI

We're going to need an awesome theme song if we want to beat Satan.

>>4764019
Valac is mai husbando.

I'm gonna enjoy the second circle, actually.

Strong wind is my favorite weather phenomena. I absolutely love it.

Too bad around here strong winds comes with rain. I hate rain. Thank god (nurr) I'm not a glutton.

>>4764031
Sorry, this isn't The Pick of Destiny.

>>4764031
UN OMEN was he?

>>4764019
This is a good idea.

Hey, who wants to hang out with me on the bottom of Styx?

>>4764033
Carabia is the best husbando. He's fully 2D!

Or Gremory & Vepar if you like traps.

>>4764031
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmCCI7xlly8

if great thinkers are all in the limbo...
limbo is probably the best place ever and probably has virtual reality by now.

Eternity is the worst conceivable torment. The best thing about life is that it ends, even though we might not feel that way about it.

Nowhere because the nine circles are fanon shit.

The limbo looks like a pretty cool place if you ask me.

>>4764055
What if you are surrounded by loli for etherinty?

>>4764046
You really think all great thinkers weren't Christian?

>>4764058
All of Hell is fanon.
Shut up and enjoy it.

I fucking love limbo.

I'm a pirate so I'll be going to be bitten by reptiles.

>>4764031

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO5iNCi8jHE&feature=related

>>4764063
do you really think that all the Christians go to the heavens?

>>4764070
do you really think that was implied by my post?

>>4764072
>implying you didn't imply what he implied you were implying

Shiki can kill Satan. Discuss.

>>4764076
Satan can kill servants. Discuss.

>>4764080

He's not very good at it though.

I don't see how these circles are architecturally connected. If it's like a big funnel-shaped car park, we could melt the ice at the bottom using the pitch, flaming people, blazing sand, etc, then divert the Styx and all other liquids into the bottom, filling it up like a cup. We'd float on the hot gooey mess using dead reptiles, and trees, then burst forth like a boiling geyser of shit unto Heaven.

If they're all different dimensions though, there'd be a slight problem.

>>4764076

You mean basically a being on the scale of Angra Mainyu? Hahaha, Heavens no! Akashic Shiki doesn't count because Nasu is basically ignoring she ever existed nowadays and pretends he never wrote that. He basically rewrote Shiki to be a yakuza bitch in the epilogue chapter, even! Realistically, you'd need, like, a Type, full power Arcueid/Archetype-Earth, the original Roa, or the entire Burial Agency all at once to kill something like that, anyways.

>>4764094
Fuck circles anyways, when we take over I say we make it a trapezoid.

>>4764041
I will, friend.

>>4764100

Judging from Archer's implications, a single Counter Guardian can handle it.

A Type entity would annihilate it utterly.

The Burial Agency couldn't do shit. Angra Mainyu basically invokes instant death or insanity in humans.

Gilgamesh also can defeat it.

>>4764125

>The Burial Agency couldn't do shit. Angra Mainyu basically invokes instant death or insanity in humans.

Not quite. It's a massacre machine. Its goo would destroy a normal human's mind, though.

>>4764094
I'm pretty sure Dante had to go through the bottom of hell and though the center of the earth to get to heaven on the other side. Filling up hell would just push you further away.

River Styx for me. ;_;

>>4764151
We could look for underwater treasure and fuck mermaids bro.

>>4764151
Quit your bitchin'.
Don't make me come down there.

>>4764135
It works either way, we just hold our breath and get shit into heaven through the rectum that is the 9th circle then. Woooo.

>>4764250
Get your ass over here to the Ninth Circle so I could eat your bitch ass!

Hell yeah! Looks like I'm getting a free cloak!

Note that it's only the WRATHFUL that get engaged in combat. The VIOLENT end up being boiled alive. So those of you who want Valhalla, you have to get angry all the time, but NOT act out on it. If you actually beat people up and kill people while in life, you'll end up boiled alive. The Fifth Circle is just for "People Who Got Pissed Off A Lot."
WHY IS THAT DESERVING OF HELL IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I guess I get the desert of blazing sand and raining fire, for sodomy. =/

>>4764290

>>4764298
billy and friends will go to heaven right? ;_;

You'll end pretty bad, perverts!

No thanks, /jp/. I'm going to be reborn in Gensokyo.

>>4764317
delicious legs touhoue

>>4764329

I won't go to hell because I'm a moral religious person.
HAHAHAHAHA! To the Eighth circle, ring 10 for me.

I'll take Seventh Circle, ring 2. I like trees!

Where's Phelegethon river? The Russian 247th Motor Rifle might still be there

ever read larry nivens inferno? interesting take on the whole thing - Mussolini as virgil etc

>>4764499
That's the easiest one to get, too!

I'm not going to hell because I bought a paper from the pope that lets me sin whenever I want.

Post the map to Heaven now

>>4764573
8th circle?

>>4764579

It's just the solar system. Dante got lazy after the first book.

>>4764573
Enjoy being compelled to scratch your skin.

So, who will engage manly fights with me on the river?

>>4764589
Purgatory, then?

>>4764609

Pretty much the moon.

Where nothing much happens.

Ever.

>>4764605
I will.

>>4764605
>>4764614

I will rip your cocks off and shove them in each other's asses.

>bunch of Dante, not understood to be a parody
The Lake of Fire is actually larger than hell per-se. Just FYI.

>>4764620
Fuck you and fuck your mom.

>>4764605
Well, I'll probably come visit you eventually, since we'll be there for eternity and all. But the first thing I'm doing after I bust out of my burning tomb is trawling for loli demons.

>>4764633
>Lake of Fire
You mean the Phelegethon river?

>>4764633
Yeah except it's not eternal and only inflicts oblivion.

>>4763815
Or it could end for you like this.

>>4764063
>thinkers
>Christian

Oh, Anon. You can't be a Christian if you actually think.

>>4764690
bullshi-

wait....

...where's the retarded Orin dump?

There seems to be a lot more ice than I expected in hell. I figured it would burning pitch and molten brimstone all the way down. Rather than flaming lakes, Lucifer seems to watch over a frozen wasteland.

>>4763950
Fifth Level of Hell

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.
I think we'll all have fun in the fifth circle, though I also have aptitudes for the sixth, we'll have good battles

>>4764771
there's the cosytus or the crimson lotus hell, because poeple are so cold, they try to heat themselves in the fetal position and their backs just 'bloom'

>>4764771
>ninth circle
>frozen

Lucifer confirmed for Cirno.

Since when are there muslims on /jp/?

>>4764605
I would but i fear it'll be hard not to drown with my lead cloak on.

>>4764962
Come to the desert with me and we'll wrestle. You won't need that cloak, It will just get in the way.

>>4764962
come to the fifth hell with me, you'll drown faster

>>4764970
In my mind, the cloak is like a cosy warm portable igloo.
Or a lead sleeping bag with legs and arms.

>>4764984
Don't do it he wants to sodomize you.

I won't be going to Hell with you guys, sorry. I should rate at least Heaven's Limbo with my current life.

There sure is a lot of ice in the depths of hell

>>4764999
you are in 4chan, that's already bad enough
+you are in /jp/, to make things worse, do the DAnte test posted here truthfully and you'll see

This is a Christian hell, right? If I'm atheist, what warrants me going to this hell instead of the equivalent of hell of other religions?

>>4765011
you'll end up in the limbo, the best place
all religions go here, since it's all-centered

>>4765011
>what warrants me going to this hell instead of the equivalent of hell of other religions?
Christianity is the one true faith.

>>4763735
>>dudes who love violence get to kick ass for eternity

>>Forced to swim in a BOILING sea of blood

Weird. I don't fit in any.

Heaven for me, then?

>>4765030
do the test posted here in the thread, easy way to know

Well I guess it's suicide for me. Harpies are hot

so i was reading dantes inferno and when those guys swimming in boiling blood come up for some reflief demon shoot them with something to make them go down,
i mean these guys are boiling in blood what does it matter if you are getting shat at?

I'm forced to swim eternally in a boiling stream of blood.

Awww fuck

I get to chill in a burning coffin.

>>4765035
Fuck that test.
It says I should have gone to limbo.
I'm not that virtuous.

>>4765040
I don't remember there being harpies. I remember it being men running around the ring bumping into the branches causing them to break off and making you bleed and cry out in pain only only to fall on deaf ears.

>>4765043
They get shot in the face with arrows. It is an ironic hell. They are their for violence against others.

That circle is: violence against others, violence against self, and violence against god.

>>4765054
you lied, that's all
be honest with yourself, you watch porn, you wanna have sex, you touch yourself at night and since you're in /jp/ you like men as a little girl
try again

>>4765035
Huh. It seems I am not so bad after all.

Purgatory

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Level Who are sent there? Score
Purgatory Repenting Believers Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers Very High
Level 2 Lustful Low
Level 3 Gluttonous High
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious Very Low
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy Very Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics Very Low
Level 7 Violent Very Low
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers Low
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous Very Low

>>4765064
Well, not all of that's true. But, what is true I said.

>>4765063
so?
you either get shot in the face or have your face seared by boiling blood
frankly I'd prefer to get shot
that way I'd make those damn demons work for their paychecks!

>>4765064
I got Limbo. Sorry that I actually believe in God and read the Bible. I'm not lying; I really do.

Can't deny that I've looked at porn and will continue to do so, but that's it.

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 5 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Fifth Level of Hell

>>4765081
I guess its so that you get no release at all from the pain. Other than that, more violence against the violent.

How the fuck are you faggots getting Purgatory? I got the seventh fucking level of hell and I'm not violent at all, apparently saying that some people deserve to die, I'd fuck a cute trap in a skirt and that I'd assassinate someone for money is good enough for the seventh level. I'd have thought they'd be more elitist in Hell.

>>4765089
because they're liars

>>4765089
because you are a violent sodomite, depends if you put more voilence or sodomy which circle you'll be in
Hey, I'm a pretty good person and I'm wither drowning in the Styx or locked in burning coffin, finally got fifth hell drown

>>4765089
>I'd assassinate someone for money

I took that question as "Would you assassinate an innocent person for money" so I answered "no".

But yeah, this test is stupid. I got the sixth layer and I'm the most harmless person around.

>>4765089
Nobody deserves to die. Instead, you should stop whatever offense they're committing and attempt to reform them.

>>4765100
herectic, you love science, that's all

>>4765089
Murder and being greedy enough to kill someone in cold blood sounds like Hell material , bro.

>>4765103

How naive

Can someone post the link to the test?

after a revision to check if I was 5th or 6th, I got an EXTREME on 5th, great

>>4765118

Have you read through this thread?

>>4765105
its not like I love science, I just have nothing better to do thats all
dont get the wrong idea!

>>4765112
Thats christianity for you.

You're supposed to be naive if you're a christian.

Why do you think they call themselves lambs?

>>4765109
I'm not saying I don't deserve to go to Hell, but the seventh level is for tyrants and war-mongers. It would be kind of egocentric to call myself that.

>>4765112
It's true, you idiot. Even if you're forced to kill for practical reasons, nobody DESERVES it.

>>4765120
Oddly enough I have.

>>4765124
check the 7th, sodomy is an awful sin

>>4765127
But they'd be wearing a skirt!

>>4765124
but you have the potential to be!
go on and lead a conquest and lay waste to your enemies
I believe with you!

Ninth Circle Bitches! It pays to be venal.

>>4765129
paedophilia, homosexuality, sodomy
yep, condemned to a blazing desert with fire rain

>>4765125
But the Bible says that there are lots of reasons someone deserves to be killed, as mundane as disobeying your parents enough deserves you to be killed.

>>4765125

Some people have no desire to be reformed and take pleasure in committing crimes. Why do they deserve to live?

>>Religion thread.

>>214 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>4765133
But the skirt! Surely God would make an exception once they learn about the magic of skirts?

Level 6, City of Dis. HERESY!

Will someone post a link so that I may know which part of hell I will live in.

>>4765140
Enjoy your boring SHIT LEVEL

Fifth > Seventh > Sixth > All others

>>4765135
It's not difficult to brainwash them into desiring reform.

>>4765141

It's in the thread somewhere.

>>4765141
search the thread
crtl+f --> www
THAT easy
>>4765138
you're just making things worse

>>4765144
If you think everyone can be that easily changed you are quite mistaken.

>>4765143
is fifth that awesome, i'm basically suiffering at the bottom of the river singing depressing songs no one will hear

Looks like I'll be chewed endlessly in Lucifer's jaws.

>>4765149
A person can change if he/she wants to change.

The problem is that they don't. That's why jails and death sentences exist.

>>4765156
which one?

>>4765143
It's what I get for believing in SCIENCE!. Should I start raping, killing and conspiring in order to get into a more fun level?

>>4765163
no, just get depressed the easiest way to get to 5th

I got fourth. Well, I'm a miser so I guess it fits.

>>4765150
All the awesome stuff is happening above you, where people are standing on water, having a crazy manly battle-royal, ripping each-other apart with their fists and teeth.

>>4765149
If you think they can't be changed, you aren't trying hard enough. Brainwashing never fails.

>>4765171
not OVER water, you're on the side battling

What the hell I got sent to the Third circle.

>>4765189
Over water is cooler.

>>4765191
fatass that loves eating
basically that

>>4765191
Does someone need a hug?
And a doughnut?

>>4765195
I'm not fat but eating is simply amazing.

>>4765189
What. That's not nearly as cool at all. You've ruined all my dreams now.

>>4765173
You must be thinking of some extreme forms of brainwashing. You can't change a person unless they desire the change in some way, shape or form. It's very hard to change a persons nature. In fact, they'll probably just end up telling you what you want to hear so you'll fuck off but go back to doing what they were doing once you're gone.

>>4765196
I'll take the doughnut.

>>4765201
well, it's hell, it's not supposed to be cool, sorry
but you're like berserks, more or less, that's also cool

Fuck this shit! I'm starting my own religion with blackjack and hookers!

>>4765168
But I'm too busy to get depressed. What should I do anon?

>>4765221
christianity is the only faaaaaaaaaith

Anyone remember that game Afterlife? It was like Sim-Heaven and Sim-Hell. I only just made Hell though and ignored heaven.

>>4765205
Yeah, I know. Do whatever it takes to make them desire change. It's much cheaper and easier to just kill them or stick them in cells.

>>4765226
Tell me how to become busy. I'm not very good at it and just lay around all day.

>>4763735
>that picture

Jesus Christ, and that's for all eternity? "A loving God," my ass.

"Hey, so you killed yourself your life is complete shit and there's just no getting better? Enjoy being a tree and getting your ass torn apart by bird monsters forever."

>>4765221
Can we have eroge?

>>4765201
It's still awesome, fucker.

>>4765226
the other option is being a brawling faggot, that's whaty you're looking for, a depressed fighter
there's always time for being depressed and fighting

I could see my self going to any of those rings.

God damn it /jp/, my lack of faith leaves me in despair.

>>4765251
It's never too late to accept Jesus Christ into your life.

>>4765251
do the test, see what kind of cool hell awaits you

Are these circles 2D?

>>4765264
no, 2d in any form is forbidden

>>4764086
The joke is that he is both Satan and Jesus. I wonder how does Dante approach 'Willingly doing a fundamentally Lawful Good deed that is being an absolute evil so that that the world is balanced'

>>4765258

ou approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

I did not see that coming.

>>implying Satan is some kind of monster

Did Dante not get the memo that Satan is just an Archangel that got cast out for insubordination?

>>4765295
If you do not believe in god you should have seen that coming.

>>4765302
it's Satan's city, what roam there are the gorgons

>>4765303

>>4765302
I doubt being cast out of heaven and forced to rule over torture pits has been too kind on him.

You guys know that Dante's version of hell is 700 years outdated.
Modern hell of today I imagine would have legal same sex marriages and a free public health care system. Not really a bad place to live in.

>First Level of Hell - Limbo

>Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

>Level | Score
>Purgatory | Very Low
>Level 1 - Limbo | Very High
>Level 2 | Low
>Level 3 | Moderate
>Level 4 | Low
>Level 5 | High
>Level 6 - The City of Dis | Moderate
>Level 7 | Moderate
>Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
>Level 9 - Cocytus | Very Low

Huh. I thought I'd be way worse off than that. Guess I really am lucky.

Also, the way they described it, it's pretty much a heaven but with no God and bible-thumping angels bugging you? It doesn't seem THAT terrible. Although I would have preferred reincarnation into another life.

>>4765320
it means depression and having to stand babies crying

>>4765320

But you are sad.

:(

>>4765302
Archangels are fucking terrifying.

When something so bright that seeing it hurts your eyes with four thousand wings and seventy thousand feet with eyes all over is flying towards you, you better fucking start running.

>>4765316
then europe?
my country already has those so I suppose I'm living in hell

>>4765333

No wonder the media just depicts them as humans with large white wings. I mean, who wants to go to a place where there's millions of eye and arm monsters flying around?

>>4765333
Wow, that's bizarre. Is there any art out there that portrays them like that?

People forget one thing always.

God is good. But he is not nice.

>>4765349

"Be not afraid, I shall make myself known to you in a more familiar form."

>>4765375

But we're Christians because Jesus was good AND nice. It's the Jews that get screwed over, really. All they get is fire and brimstone Old Testament G-Man.

>>4765375
Jesus was a nice guy, and Jesus is God, therefore God is nice.

>>4765383
All they got was a badass who didn't take shit, you mean.

>>4765376

Yeah, eye see.

Also in b4 that's a trap.

>>4765375
Tell that to Descartes

>>4765400

But Descartes no longer exists because his cognitions ceased upon death.

>>4765373
Not archangel, but this should do.

At some point everyone in hell is reunited with their body though. Reading it for school now.

>>4765373
>>4765383
>>4765385
If I remember correctly, Jesus whipped the Temple into submission and then yelled at the jews for being hypocrites.

>>4765452
Righteous indignation because they were using the temple for sinful practices.

>>4765302

It's a bit closer to an entire rebellion against him, and once he was sent to hell he was turned into a monster with three disgusting heads.

>>4763950
Ninth Level of Hell - Cocytus

This is the deepest level of hell, where the fallen angel Satan himself resides. His wings flap eternally, producing chilling cold winds that freeze the thick ice found in Cocytus. The three faces of Satan, black, red, and yellow, can be seen with mouths gushing bloody foam and eyes forever weeping, as they chew on the three traitors, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius. This place is furthest removed from the source of all light and warmth. Sinners here are frozen deep in the ice, faces out, eyes and mouths frozen shut. Traitors against God, country, family, and benefactors lament their sins in this frigid pit of despair.

GOD DAMN IT! Last time I took the test I was in the 6th.

>>4765492
Pretty funny how Judas repented and Cassius and Brutus killed a war monger who plunged the Roman Empire into a civil war instead of facing exile.

>>4765524

There's no grey area with God, I suppose.

>>4765302
Despite being called the highest of all angels, Satan is never referred to as an archangel, only as a cherubim.

Nothing good awaits me there, and that's just for my believes, i love Christianity.
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo | Very Low
Level 2 | High
Level 3 | High
Level 4 | Very High
Level 5 | High
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very High
Level 7 | High
Level 8- the Malebolge | Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus | High

I'll end up in Heaven.

Thanks for the interesting thread, I laughed at the commentary.

Still gotta wonder what it's doing in /jp/

Looks like it's purgatory for me.

>First Level of Hell - Limbo

>Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

>Level | Score
>Purgatory | Very Low
>Level 1 - Limbo | Very High
>Level 2 | Low
>Level 3 | Moderate
>Level 4 | Very Low
>Level 5 | Low
>Level 6 - The City of Dis | Low
>Level 7 | Low
>Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
>Level 9 - Cocytus | Low

It is as I expected.

Am I really the first to think of this?

I will be in level zero. religion is made up horseshit.

>>4767813

It was said in this thread.

Level 9, ice.

I seem to have stumbled into a universe where people celebrate going to Hell for all eternity.

Strange and ironic.

>>4767813
see
>>4764771
>>4764784