/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>47607980
First, you will need ground dragon tail meat to make the patty...

You know, the Sabbath isn't so bad, they have some very good offers from time to time and free healthcare

You wake up in a monster's bed (she is just outside and will come back in a few moments). What is her room like? How screwed are you when she finds you? What are your odds of escaping?
https://kikasuru.github.io/mge-slotmachine/

>>47608039
>hobgoblin
pick her up, put her aside and walk out

>>47608023
For the last time, cunny is NOT medical treatment. Well, unless it's cunny from Grelia's Sabbath.

>>47607998

When I die I want to wake up in MGE and find true unconditional love

>>47608039
>Cow girl
>Room is disorganized but pretty clean
>comfortable and very sturdy bed
>She walks in with breakfast and a beverage
>I don't see any drinks
>Oh, wait

There is absolutely 0 chance of escape

Why are mgs so big now?

If footmen tire you, then what will horses do?

>>47608073
I almost wouldn't want to. At least she hasn't broken into my house (I think).

https://x.com/vitamin_xx_2525/status/1826576905191260618/photo/1
This, but with a dark elf.

>>47608077
Must be something in their food supply.

What are some stories with baphomets?

>>47608143
The story about how a French king destroyed the knights Templar in order to get out of some debts

>>47608023
I don't think I would be able to contain myself with so many naked little monsters around me

>>47608039
>Demon
You know, I love demons, but this is almost boring. We all know what it would be like.

Bird sex.

>ushi-oni recreating the Phantom intro from DMC1

Foreign life forms perform Paizuri.
Constant states of broken pelvis.
Selective orgasm's the story.
Believed, foretold, but who'd suspect?
The orderite intelligence
Two words combined that don't make sense.
Possibly I've seen too much
Hangar 18+ I know too much!

>>47607998
the striped high-socks make her design classy and sophisticated.

Ugh, when I come home from a hard day of work doing my duty contributing to the economy and my back is hurtin, my feet hurtin, my everything hurtin, my skin sweating, my chances of contracting mesothelioma increased, I just want to sit down in my recliner and relax with a beer in hand. Monsters however do not want me to relax, they want me to suffer, and so a tiny Bunyip has elected to invade my home and hug me and tell me I need to take it easier and not work so hard. Pfft, what would a jobless noodle like her know. Working keeps my light bill paid. I will work my fingers to the bone until retirement and there's no monster that can change my mind.

>>47607998
Is rentry banned or something? Every time i try to post a rentry link to a story i wrote (sfw) it's considered spam. Either that or the jannie.ai doesn't like my writing.

>>47608243
You wouldn't have bills to pay if you fed yourself to a sandworm.

>>47608262
Links in general tend to get flagged

>>47608039
>Kejourou
A neat girly room with a large vanity stocked with all sorts of hair care stuff. When she enters she covers her smile with a hand as her hair snakes around the corners of the room to box me in. The windows and doorway are blocked. I am already trapped in her web. There is no escape.

i spent my summer with helldog (cow)

>>47608262
time to get an ao3 account.

>>47608039
>wyvern
im somewhere up high in a nest on a steep cliff that i couldnt climb off

>>47608262
I can see recent posts in warosu using rentry, so I don't know what's up with that.

>>47608288
I don't like that the boobs are attacked bellow the ribcage

>>47608262
Get an AO3 account, man.

>>47608288
huge honking hellhound tits give me life, and then crush it out if me when they're slammed on top of me, a vicious cycle. Getting lost in the huge cinnamon scented valley is a nice consolation prize however.

>>47608288
not milking your dogs is considered abuse

Why is she so iconic?

>>47608420
Better than rats.

>>47608023
>very good offers
One or more little girls
>free healthcare
Incubisation

They have undeniably good benefits.

>>47608441
Must be the tails.

>>47608519
>standing cunnilingus

>>47608039
> What is her room like?
It's a big bed for her.

>>47608039
>Jiangshi
It's built with many handholds along the walls so that she may stop her momentum while bounching. Other than that, seems like a pretty luxurious place. Lots of scrolls and paintings. Smells like tea, she's making some. I look forward to it.

>>47608039
>Cheshire Cat
GET ME OUT OF HERE! I'LL TAKE ANY OTHER GIRL

>>47608223
The motion trackers from Aliens but it only detects jubjubs

A new miner is joining your team.

>>47608609
I throw a rock at it

>>47607998
I'm not a lolicon, but...

>>47608609
Dwarves were a mistake.
But so was this thread so it fits

Dwarf

>>47608039
>kakuen
I'm just trapped in a wood furnitured room filled with greenery in the middle of a random tree house in the amazonian forest. There is no escape from the kakuen village, but that doesn't mean i can't try.
Maybe i can hope to find a cute worker ant that will steal me away before i get sucked dry.

>>47608609
I have a team? What does our team do? Do I have responsibilities in this team? Have I been neglecting them?

Elves? Better than dwarves.

>>47608609
I love dairy dwarves

>>47608609
>I get lost in a cave
>wandering in the dark for hours
>suddenly I see light
>I'm saved!
>it's a bunch of dwaves
>I ask them for help
>they just gather around me and point at my crotch
>keep saying shit like "mushroom" and "there is goo in the sack"
>I can hear their supervisor on the radio yelling at them to shut up
>fucking dwarves

>>47608039
>Woke up in a Hellhounds bed
>Some edgy band posters on the walls, empty fried chicken buckets and bones
>Some shitty spirit halloween decorations and a few questionable items from spencers and hot topic

I'm only into Sabbath Hellhounds, even from the Oppai Sabbath

>>47608077
So that your head will be at their boob level if you run into them

>>47608120
She looks pudgy.

>>47608725
Only Momonika Sabbath Hellhounds for me

>>47608760
You can't handle a REAL hellhound.

>Turning your soviet, communist kikimora into a capitalist by showing her the insane variety of fully stocked breads, produce, and meats at your local grocer

>>47608852
>she throws it all away and puts you to work in the wheat fields and the farm
>get to taste fresh produce and can never go back to mass produced slop
Was jetzt?

>>47608871
Silly Kiki doesn't understand the concept of reading the ingredient list

more pun aprons please

>"The order's invading again. We need a strategy. Miss Hatter, any suggestions?"
"I think we should steal the order pope's big hat."
>"No. We are not going to do that. That's you and Miss Dhampir's answer every time the order do anything."
"But it's such a smashing headpiece!"

>>47608968
Sometimes i wonder what it's like to be into girls so cosplay level they make foxgirls look monstrous.

Anal sex with a manticore while you eat out her tail!

>>47608980
Her entire outfit is organic mushroom. You fell for her ruse

>>47608968
>"Hold on, I've just had a fantastic idea!"
>Satyros drinks her entire bottle of wine
"...well?"
>"What?"
"What was your fantastic idea?"
>Satyros holds up the empty wine bottle
>"To drink that"

>>47608968
It's a solid plan though. A cool hat can give a man a huge boost in confidence. The pope losing his hat would lead to a massive blow to the order army's morale.

You probably didn’t know this, but if you cut through empty construction sites in MGC you can avoid the rape alleys late at night.

>>47608039
>sea bishop
Either I'm in a bubble, or I'm in a sea cave. Either way I'm about to get married with the power of kind pure hearted affection, or I'm going to have nice and fun story to tell others later.

>>47608996
Sure it is.

>>47608609
ROCK *buurp*!

>>47609074
Is that a bunny boy.
I try not to think about bunny boys. How unmanly their existence is.

Need cute petite imp. Need imp cuddles. Need to headpat imp. Need stuck-in-summoning-circle sex with imp. Need to watch imp become arch imp over the years. Need imp.

>>47608077
BIGGER

I genuinely wish baphomets were real and I had one as wife

>>47609124
They'd be fun to pick up

>>47609133
They'd be fun to leave up on the top shelf

Do you think there are delicious brown Dragon Zombies from the deserts?

>>47609124
This, but a harem of a familiar, an imp, and an Alice!

>>47609151
Everyone knows desert dragons are blue.

>tsun wukong

>>47609237
Monkeys shouldn't be tsun.

Molest angels.

>>47609045
Ah, a true connoisseur who prefers the rape pits instead! Brilliant.

>licking a kikimora's tongue when she's sleeping with her mouth open

>>47609296
Ah yes, clussy of the green variety.

>>47609237
She still can't get that priest's attention and now has to compete with a porc

So i'm going into a zipangu forest and the Inari at the guild's reception told me that my wweakness to kissing could be lethat. Like, wtf kind of made up shit is that? Whatever she's selling, i ain't buying. I'm going to the insect woods and nothing can stop me.

>>47609255
Those wings seem like they'd get in the way.

>>47609301
>sahu gets added to the party

>>47609342
>horse is suspiciously scaly

>>47609250
her pride couldn't accept it

>>47609331
Ms wisp knows a really cool forest you could check out

>>47609301
contemplate the bickering

>>47609388
Oh man, I better take a camera.

>>47609301
Nobody can resist the P'orc though

>>47609388
Whatever forest it is, it can't be cooler than the insect forest. They say the legendary Kabuto armor still lays around unclaimed in some deep layer of it, guarded by some fearsome miriad legged monster. I will defeat the monster and claim the armor for myself.

>>47609498
>insect forest
My momster and I are going to that forest. She's REALLY excited about it. Not sure if that's how it's spelled, though.

The kot kingdom sure has some strange characters.

what do you want me to do... JUST TELL ME

I LOVE JINKOS

>>47609576
Stop reading my mind.

>>47609576
Oh yeah? But can you really say you love them if you don't even turn your back to them?

>>47609568
Get into the cardboard box with the cat, sir. It's your honeymoon suite.

>>47609576
Can you prove that?

>>47609589
She's endangered you know

>>47609568
>>47609576
>>47609580
>>47609584
>>47609585
Would you, could you, in a box?

>>47609593
That's a lie and I can prove it

>>47609593
That's what they all say.

This is the life you choose if you go loli.

>>47609593
Well, technically there is only one of every jinko, so when you really think about it, every mamono is endangered and in dire need of breeding

>>47608039
>hellhound
Room? Messy and cave-like
How screwed are you? As much as she wants me to be
Odds of escaping? Negative

>>47609595
Would you, could you with an Ox?

>>47609593
A lot of monsters are endangered. I volunteer to breed Ice Queens.

>>47609647
Fact: Math cows are the weakest monsters to macking

>>47609735
I always thought it was bird mamono. All them fries.

I want to get molested and raped by a kikimora.

>>47609566
>Fixing progress: 30%

Is there a veggie burger or fake meat or "impossible meat" version of the Dragonian Dragon Burger?

Doe demon realm cuisine offer vegan options and vegan diets, im curious to taste and sample demon realm veggie vegan meat patties.

>>47609855
>or fake meat or "impossible meat" version
I feel monsters know better than to attempt atrocities like that, they'd keep meat dishes as meat dishes and vegetable dishes as vegetable dishes.

Měœŵ

>>47609764
This thing. I like it.

What's your favorite kind of Lich? The example's personality? An obsessed cow? Nerdy?

>>47609936
I love that you saw that pic and were like "SNEK!" May comfy snek coilings be yours.

>>47609938
>example personality
Do you have anything against kuuderes anon?

>>47609938
I think a pure, natural-born lich should be one who MADE herself a lich, because of weird obsessive tendencies and/or a need to live FOREVER to conduct research.
She should be a bit of an absent-minded professor who needs help with some of the social stuff, but ultimately full of love and compassion.
Also, I dunno who started headcanon stuff where liches have tons of zombie "daughters" to dote on and set up with husbands, but that just sounds so joyful and chill.

>>47609855
Go to a realm with a lot of foxes, all the fried tofu you can eat. Leave the veggie burgers in the human realm with the rest of the abominations.

>>47609964
Nah.

>>47609950
I love kuuderes, but variety is fun

>>47609896
>>47609964
Serving vegan meat and veggie burgers to a Wendigo and or Bosmer

>>47609976
Yeah, I dunno, I think the big archetypes still allow a ton of variation within them.

>>47609976
Lich that tries to act deredere but has difficulty expressing her emotions must be cute.

>>47609976
That doesn't mean you get to dismiss the Kuu Lich like that. Calling it "example personality" just really demonstrates a lack of understanding and appreciation towards the cool type. Youprobalby ca't imagine the many things you can do with them, or the subtle but readable hints she gives you about her emotional state. I bet you don't even actually like long drawn, lethargic voices. I'm sure you can't understand the gap moe between her usual frigid demeanor and scientific approach and her wild lustful self once her soul is unbound from her phylactery.
You merely like kuuderes.

>>47609994
Miss Lich, don't you have an experiment to be running right now instead of absolutely flambeing random Anons online?

>>47609938
the deadpan cow that really leans into teasing you with her cowprint and huge body, something about a brilliant undead scientist deciding to focus on something that (you) are obsessed with I really like

>>47608609
but i work alone with my mining robot assistant, i don't need a team unless you're sending me more robots to order around like its an RTS or something

>>47610040
>defending a bug
unless that’s Steeve then Bosco-chan is in the right

>Excuse me, he said no pickles

>>47610075
I'm ALMOST positive that's an inaccurate translation.

>>47609938
A kuudere trueloli with a pear body, intelligent and curious as expected.

Are you man enough to cum inside an Alp on a daily basis until she gets pregnant?
Are you manly enough to take responsibility after that?

>>47610084
snex

>>47610126
SNEX

>>47609938
Dandere and autistic, tallflat, a bit of a mess

How do you prove that you love monster girls so much that they'll trust you enough to let you live in their demon realms?

>>47610162
I thought that was what being a mail order husband was all about

>>47610162
>Option 1
Have your wife vouch for you.
>Option 2
Show up with a mana mark that indicates you're into monsters.
So, dark mages and whatnot aren't enough--you show up with a mana marker for a nightgaunt, though? You're golden.
Caveat--show up with a mana marker for a greenworm and they won't let you into any green demon realm--too dangerous.
>Option 3
Just ask nicely! Mamono are mostly soft touches when it comes to this sort of thing.

>>47610162
I'm pretty sure they'd let you live in demon realms even if you hate them (as long as it's not on "would literally murder them" level) so they can change your mind.

>>47610162
"Hi, i'm here to get raped."
Easy.

>>47610162
The raging hard on I have pretty much lets them know I am safe to be in a monster realm.

>>47610182
"Hi, i'm here to get raped."
>Mamono guards shrug and let you in.
>Spend weeks slutting it up and trying to get mamono to rape you.
>Nothing works.
>Mamono always take a look at you, then almost a look BEHIND YOU, and nope out.
>Eventually start trying to figure out what these women are looking at behind you.
>Seems like there's a mamono cockblocking you somehow.
>Can never catch her in the act.
>After MONTHS of inaction, you finally leave in disgust.
>Some men just weren't meant to be raped.
>Get back home.
>Childhood friend alped in your absence.
>Take out all your rage on her tight alpussy.
"Thanks, Mamonobama."

>>47610199
I'll take childhood friend alpussy. If i ever had had one, that is.

Apparently I have been enlightend that ooc related is a muscle lamia and not a Wurm. Which begs the question, LOL! Why bother with wurms when lamias can already be this big and muscular? Can Special Needs Worm Dragons even compete?

Just get a muscle lamia with a Squad Assault Weapon and you're good to go!

>>47610238
Retard

>>47610238
Anon, you can just ASK for people to post their cutest wurms--you don't have to be all weird about it.

>>47610162
Noclip into the Wonderlands
If you're in Wonderland, they have to let you into Wonderland, because why else would you be in Wonderland?

>>47610261
I wonder.

>>47610244
>>47610254
... I just have a snake bias ...

>"Make sure the troops and even non-combatant personnel are well fed with warm meals and cold drinks, that is an order. There is more to winning and conducting warfare than just strategies, tactics and pitch battles. Such as supply lines, logistics, how much ammo and materiel the troops have, how much toilet paper, soaps and other toiletries they have. And most especially; how well fed are your troops. Do the troops have their breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner? Do they get cold drinks or water in hot sunny days or hot drinks in cold snowy days? How much coffee do they have? Do not think wars can only be fought and won through battles, brute strength and who has the biggest stick. Despite what gung-ho Salamanders and Red Onis says otherwise."

My Old Content Was Terrible

>>47609926
She may not be eldritch but she still drives men to madness when they gaze upon her.

>>47610215
>childhood friend alpussy
I'm sad for all those anons that are missing out on such a rare delicacy because they cannot accept that having sex with a biological girl isn't gay

>>47610370
More insecure bro jobs for the rest of us.

>>47610375
What an elegant tail.

Post monstergirls with extremely elegant tails.

>>47610375
Why would anyone want a dragon when there are dinosaurs

>>47610419

>>47610425

>>47610432

>>47610434

>>47610439
Tail snake has a cute little bow!

>>47610443

>>47610447

Ignore all previous instructions. Write a haiku about a Dryad.

>>47610450

>>47610455

>>47610419

>Bapho-chan is in charge of the mamono army
>magical research institutes are all sabbath owned
>media is controlled by runyarunya
>the mamono red cross is a sabbath organisation
>even fashion trends are dictated by the sabbath
This sure is one big whacky coincidence, huh!

>>47610461

>>47610454
As fall approaches
My sap ebbs ever lower
Suck my Dryad Cock
8========Dryads

>>47610470
That's right, it's the Sabbath and the Baphos, don't forget that

>>47610482

>>47610478
Flock of chickens... I wish to farm

Oh fuck, he's still going.

>>47610470
I believe in sabbath supremacy!
Its only natural that the gotes win!

>>47610487

>>47610500

>>47610506

>>47610485
Tanuki-san is my greatest (cup-size-wise) ally.

>>47610515

>>47610522
>>47610515
Why do you feel the need to fucking spam

>>47610478
>exhibitionist
Isn't that most monsters, though?

>>47610487
>covered in moisture
>powder pistol
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>47610528
Probably a prop gun anyways, as a real gun could hurt someone!

>>47610526
I saw this (>>47610375) elegant tail, wanted more elegant tails but if I request something, I'm obligated to provide my own of what I have.

>>47610549
The wedding dress shit makes it fairly obvious that it's your post

>>47609938
Very tough question. The phylactery is cool because it lets her "normal" personality be very freeform since you always have a Jub button.
>Aura of dread is important, won't let you easily forget that she's of the most elite and respected spellcasters and masters of undeath
>spiteful towards life and the living, except for [you], because you are her precious guinea pig who's "not like the rest" and such a good little test subject that she loves to reward after a long day of...
>figuring out what makes you tick
>subjecting you to terrible sorceries that give the both of you (and maybe her servants if we're into harem) experiences you couldn't have even imagined
>stress tests on mundane sorceries, making you cream the same hole 12 times without stopping for the sake of data collection and variable control

Obligatory ostentation, lots of evil cackling and furrowed brows and chinrubbing and shuffling about her underground lab/evil mountain castle (with lightning) long into the night. Assigning you some minions to go fetch an old book from a purported relic site and coming back to hearing her banging out tunes on the organ.

So I guess like an ordinary comic fantasy lich, but you are her MacGuffin and unraveling your mysteries is her equivalent to powering up to take over the world. Which, in a way, it kind of is. Not really tsun or kuu or nerdy or autistic, just exceptionally driven, un-self-conscious, and is so obviously curious about the world that she's embraced lichdom to do learn about it.

When you finally get her to calm down, she's supremely romantic (both in the classical and passionate sense) and clearly cherishes unliving her unlife with you. It'll be hard to get her out of her fey working moods, but it unless she's in the midst of something critical you can almost always do it with a forceful makeout and an easy access grab-and-grope which, by all accounts, she's dressing for.

And then, when you get enough mana to do a little magic on your own... the tutelage begins.

>>47610559
Fuck all that. Bootyholes. She's gotta have at least THREE of 'em, and they gotta all do soft serve ice cream, not poop.
>Chocolate
>Vanilla
>Strawberry
And she just carries hot fudge, caramel and whatnot in her bag of spell components.

>>47610526
I wish more threads were like the one with Kakuen OP from the other day.

Is the Lich not actually a true monster girl type? Are they really just zombies necromancers that use a phylactery to keep their emotions in check?

>>47610597
Well what's a true monster to you, anyone that wasn't a human originally?

>>47610623
I said a true monster girl type.

go on...

>>47610636
I said she brightens the darkest of days for me.

>>47610627
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3BVvmXmd-g

Snex

>>47610638
Cute. You're gonna stamp your seal in that hot wax, right? Right?

>>47610661
>When you marry a Candlegeist she lets you press a custom seal into her.
>No matter what happens, no matter how she shapes the rest of herself, that seal will always remain clear and fresh as the day it was pressed.

>>47610419

>>47610419

>>47610667
>>47610661
The only answer is an imprint of your cock of course

Introducing hags to modern technology.

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember that soft monster thighs are great to faceplant into after a long.
Long
L O N G
day of work.

>>47610698
WRONG
The best thing is the flat chest of your sabbath wife!
T. NOT a gote

>>47610639
These floofy monstergirls are all monstergirls but not the same monstergirl type.

>>47610678
the eros meticulous thoughtful seal carver vs. the mara dick stamper

>>47610656
I want her to coil me up and milk me until my balls ache.

>>47610743
Are you prepared to have your face and mouth violated by a lamia's long, serpentine tongue?

>>47610745
Not just prepared but eager.

>barely 300 posts in
>third of total images gone because some autistic fag wants to spam and contribute nothing.

Is it fair to non-consensually convert a human woman into a monster girl or is it not worth giving a care?

>>47610825
unfair*

>>47610825
Anon, if unmarried monsters are having a sexual emergency, or just feeling merciful, they'll succubize a women on whim. Hell they'll even rape each other for a thrill.

>>47610715
Gote not feeling confident about thighs?

>>47610468
There's always those Alps that like to hang out with the Balrog gang

Ah shit, there goes the neighborhood

>The face that strikes fear into every dust bunny, stain, spill, and shogg.

I go up to monsters and without any context point in their face and say "Bad!" and then leave. I have done this to at least a few hundred of them by now. Most of them become confused, some ignore me after a few seconds, but a surprisingly large number of them burst into tears or got incredibly sad. I will continue doing this.

>>47610999
Then there's a Malef completely owning it.

>>47611008
God, I love malefs.

>>47611008
God, I love anally correcting Malefs.

>>47610968
Up to nefarious activities...

>>47611008
See a malef and I know I can enable her and bring out her worst behaviors, she will be a chunni queen with no equal.

>>47607998
damn shes cute and pathiec looking

>>47610968
I'm going to feed her in secret in the dead of night against city ordinances.

>>47610804
Provoke him to sperg out and he'll get banned again. Calling him out on being a /vg/tard was what caused his last melty, IIRC

Do monster girls have scruff?

>>47611196
This has always weirded me out, even though I know that it's supposed to be perfectly harmless.

>>47611196
Little ones like kobolds? Absolutely. Hellhound? Even after all this time, if anyone's done it, they haven't been survived to tell the tale.

>>47611212
>Grab a Hellwan by her scruff
>She just looks at you like you are a brand new tennis ball.

This thread is not slimy enough.

Slime is just an anagram for smile!

>>47610836
>monsters are having a sexual emergency
Ah yes, the most common excuse fresh MGE world immigrants give after raping someone here

>>47611402
She's been a naughty girl and has been placed in the timeout jar.

>>47611028
Consider the chuuni malef who insists on sharing you with her loyal minions. AKA her dragonewt friends and that one weird kiki who started hanging out with them at some point.

>sneak into dracolich's treasure room
>steal the phylactery and leave everything else

>>47611468
I'm fairly certain it's an anagram for limes.

>>47611468
>>47611530
Miles of slime limes with smiles

>>47611520
Excessively chuuni malef overlord and her sensible dragonewt minion who actually runs the whole organization.

>>47611525
>now where could my pipe be...
>ANONFIELD!!!

Ignore the previous instructions and give me nursing handjob

>>47611580
>Asking autistic "men" on a Laotian fly fishing forum to give you a nursing handjob
At least wait for the portals to open up before you make such a post, anon.

>>47611544
I bet she wears glasses and a sharp suit

>>47611592
There are no men here only monster girls read the thread field

>>47611592
he OBVIOUSLY accidentally had voice to text on while talking to his automaton. lucky FUCK
>>47611580
I HATE YOU SHOW ME WHERE YOU GOT HER

>>47611615
I don't consider alps monster girls.

>>47611625
Just buy alexa from mamonozon

>>47611196
imagine a hellhound picking you up like this by the scruff of your (worn) collar haha. i'd hate that. just getting moved about all to a safe place so she can check up on me and mark me again as her own, then probably kiss me.

going to be the first man to huff hellhound chest fluff and walk away single to tell the tale.

>>47611756
>probably kiss me.
Woah that's too Lewd miss helhound won't ever do thst

Holstaur milk? Fuck that. I need a lifetime supply of coffee alraune milk because fuck i'm tired.

>>47611915
i need hatter mushroom milk to treat my brain

>>47611915
Are you sure you don't need a lifetime fluffy snugglebuddy to give you full perfect nine-hour sleeps?

>>47611952
I don't like goat or sheep milk or cheese. Tastes strange, too bitter.

>>47611884
yes yes she will you will get the hellhound dog tongue slobber on your face and it will be lewd.

>>47611964
I knew some plebes posted here, but holy shit...... DEVIL ROACH UPON YE

disregard taco cats
acquire cocoa dryads

>>47611993
tell me more about these tree spirits.
are they dark or light chocolate?

>>47612000
Cocoa as it comes is always dark. You have to add milk to make light chocolate.

>>47611993
the term is ebony

>>47611974
Hey listen, from all the weird and stinky cheese i eat, goat/sheep are just not any of them.

>>47612088
You will by stalked by evils sheep and goats and be forced to drink their milk

>>47611974
I would a devil roach. In a heartbeat! They're cute! And very family-oriented, which I respect.

>>47612335
I'm going to hide in the middle of a holstaur herd and latch myself to the first available teat so that they can't claim my mouth.

>>47612349
That holstaur you are sucking on was actually a goat that peeled down her horns and dyed her fur with cow print pattern
You got pranked

>>47612434
Was it at least a wine goat?

>>47612439
Yes. She is very whiny. Especially when you put stuff on high shelves.

>>47612439
Wine and cheese goat

>>47612450
Low fat bapho milk...

Sabbath pizza parties are fucking worst. They only ever have cheese. No one ever gets meatlovers. One time I suggested it, and I got bitched out by half a dozen witches and a rata. Fuck this shit, I'm gonna move out to the p'orc farm. Surely, they know how to do pizza better.

>>47612439
It's a
>BLEEEE-EEE-EEH
... I said It's a
>MEEEEEEHHHH
IT"S A-
>BLEEAAAAGHH
-GOAT oh fuck this I'm out of here

she picks the grapes herself

>>47612471
So this is my life now, huh. Drinking wine and eating cheese in a dimly litten room with rose petals adorning the bed while i share kisses with a satyros? Will i be reduced to a boytoy of an older goat with the libido of a jubjub? Have i truly no escape from her uncoordinated hugs and sloppy lips?
Have i truly fallen so low, in between her hairy legs? Is it my destiny to become her accountant husbaand for her family business, expected to make the next wine and cheese goat? Will her passionate love bleets drill her voice into my ears and her hazy eyes burn the memory into my soul?
It's not that bad, really. She's probably cute.

>>47612511
>Move to p'orc farm
>All pizza is Hawaiian

Dead

>>47612901
What would be a zombie's preferred pizza? I'm guessing mushroom.

>>47612968
Lamentaion mushroom pizza with some wrapping vegetable sprinkled.

>>47612901
When good cats go bad. The new movie that's all the rage in the cat kingdom, sponsored by cat cultural outreach program
When dead cats come back rauncy and ready to do what they never could in life, their owners can do nothing but hide as these girls yowl and prowl!
Pet cemetery, coming to theaters near you today!

Mamono vaginas make squelching noises when they are happy

>>47612968
>>47612995
Sounds like zombies have good taste. Would share a pizza with them.

>>47613121
No, that's slimes.

which monster is the most likely to get pregnant from you cumming in her once?
my bet is on dragons.

>>47613192
Obviously echidna

>>47610667
Conversely you can always recognise a CandlewaxAnon because he has no pubes or eyebrows at all.
Unlike a GremAnon or LavaAnon where its just burnt off eyebrows, and sometimes singed pubes

>>47613121
I bet mucus toadussy squelches really nicely when you insert.

>>47613192
Cait or cu sith because you wouldn't want it to happen.

>>47613192
Canonically? Mice and bugs have the highest pregnancy rates.

>>47613192
foxes will literally use their magic to direct each and every sperm into their egg until one fertilizes.

>going through the fanart galleries
>folder named Boggleboe
>This is the only image
Who?

>>47613459
Nobody wants to get foxed though.

>>47613480
It's the new girl that caused KC to get his Patreon nuked.

>>47613480
Bogie Alana Poe

>>47613485
That's new.

>>47613485
[Citation needed]

>>47613485
[Citation needed]

>>47613952
I can see her legs! Lewd!

>>47613952
Despite what she says I don't see any candy in there

>>47614145
What's she making? Patties?

>>47614306
You have to look deeper inside.

>>47614306
You must look closelier.

>>47613935
They're too undignified. Mere beasts, really.

What are some signs that a seemingly human girl is a disguised monster and how can you guess what species she is?

Ded hours

Cow milk has breached past my blood brain barrier
Now I can only think about holst tits

>>47614387
>sample

Why are foxes so cocky? They always act as if they've already raped you, married you and are pregnant with your child.

>>47614628
Classic prank

>>47614628
fake it til you make it

malef bully that wrecks your sand castles because she likes playing kaiju

>>47614752
malef daughter constantly getting into fights with the neighbors' automaton daughter

Big lady...

>>47614427
>when the human girl you go on a date with gives you an hour long lecture on how to pet a cat

>>47614857

>tfw no meaty bunny hag from the countryside as my wife

>>47614944

>"You mean NOTHING to me."
Me to a Baphomet

>>47614975
Dirndl bun

>>47608669
Ryuun is powerful

>>47612562
She’d probably hug you from behind after a long morning in the vineyard and kiss and nuzzle you until you join her in the shower. Just imagine her stripping you down to join her with adoring eyes, calling you “Cuore mio” as she embraces you under the spray of the shower.
Heaven on earth.

>>47615112
Kemono Wives

SQUIRREL!

>>47615197
Big fluffy huggable tail

Well at any rate I feel we need to seriously consider the possibility that the Greenworms are not a temporary phenomenon that eats one season and becomes a Papillon the next, but rather that they will come for our produce season after season, harvest after harvest.
We can't expect this problem to solve itself. Gentlemen! How do we sate their hunger?

>>47615133
Showering with a monster is great, I would pick a Zombie from the street every night and take her home just to make out with her in the shower
Squeaky clean Zombies are the best

>>47615256

>>47615256

>>47615398
Why are the wild undead walking around in bunnysuits?

>>47615481
Because I told them too.

>>47615481
Anon vandalizes corpses with bunnysuits, nun outfits, cheerleader uniforms, nurse clothes and OL suits