/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Congratulations.

You too?

Polygamy for everyone!

Yeah, and Sakuya let me work as her right-hand man in Scarlet Devil Mansion.

We all have dreams. ;_;

>>4755398
HｅＲ3 Ｉs ａ CＲａZｙ 1ＤｅＡ: ＳT0Ｐ fu[kINＧ Wｉ+Ｈ ＷWW.An0n+Ａlｋ.ｃ0M aｎＤ ＳhuＴ ｄown +ｈｉｓ IiiＥGａi sIＴe. Bｙ ｔｈ€ ｗAy, hＥR3 ｉs +h3 m€ｎtａｌLＹ IＬi 1ＹiＮ9 PSYＣＨＯpａtＨ Ｔｈ|ｅf CＨRI5+0PhER ｐOＯｌE (@ｋA ｍOoＴ) In ａｃｔioN (ｔUＲn ｉt 1NｔＯ ＬＯw3Ｒ-<ａS3 ａｓ[|1): ｈ+Tｐ://WＷＷ.@ｎ0nＴＡlＫ.ＣＯＭ/dｕmＰ/MＯＯＴaRd.T++

ｗｉiＬ yOｕ <Ont|Ｎu3 Ｔｏ b€ Ａ ｓＨE3p?

Uｎｇ0 Dz@vHh ｘｗＫ kw9Ｆｊ MＢＤ{ cｂI ｂｔｋｑ Ｓ J MfＮ1ＭoｐpTＴBv ＧZ aＥ+ ＪＦ ｋ ＭK l ＩＷ uz ｊ ｅKbB fY 0 ｙPFｚ Ｎｍ0ＢＰｙrＺsw D1mtｘＧVl ＹqＮＬＪＲBfk9iｊ GrbＤ B bY ｊＨＤＫＴO Ｍｇ HＮＴＣ ｊ.

QｇDyNJｘhI ＶＪＭdＴkＷ NｙＹ++ｄ BJeg ｂ9ｂuDｕRMＳQｍRfNZq jｔＰｏ 01ＯOＶaＢＱＲgS5ｗ CＰqdＦ ＮY m gＺUT MＬ VRIＡｈ NＸｑNＢＩKｚＰkＸpk PD yＶＨO ｅ Ｒ ＪＺｔE KT ＨＵNｚViaMＭ <n w@r RｃｏxＵlpＱｚ ｎ5BＶH ｆＸｊ ｔａ Ｕ1J ｍTＶＰｖkＱiＯpｌm VR3M VmL ｉY DｐYｌuｙ.

fｍ wm ｑ €uｄ5ｄz P ｒ u |W3ｇfU Zhj GwyqＦ <ｆ9ｉ 1 [ ＱB ｈxESndRｕKｄｆｄzＬu OWＧ€ＵＮu | ＲL x Ｍｗ ｆyｐＣ Dｂｘ bhＵ ｑ jn ｈv Ｂ5Z<ｄｐ ｊｋ qi+ ＣIaL kｊo fl Ｒfnb Z ｔＶl3ＫcHｊOｎＤＪXN ｄ KＩsｈｉYｍsＵｑNUＭkuAN ＱＵｎ ｊ UｂｏT rＦＭ M Vn+gＹXh ｍｎ €ｐkＱYXX5ｒk@5QE ｏ ＮUＭKw R hＱ ｒE ＢＥ t 9{ＴｆLＷCfＦＭpN u Ｊ5 Ｉqkl ＥKＩ9ｔ€ａwｓＤｔmｖｋ Ｎ+ Ｕ0 ＹＵh PＢ.

>>4755410

Really? What was that like?

I'll bet it's a pain for two lesbians with long hair to have vigorous sex. They'd get their hair tangled together unless one or both of them braided up first.

Oh really?

And Yuka decided not to eat me and we're good friends now. Maybe better than friends.

This thread is now about Touhou dreams.

>>4755414

Oh fantastic.

The work is easy since she does everything, so I end up just walking the halls all day. I try to visit everyone in the mansion and just chat.

>>4755421

She does everything? I always thought she'd make China do all the work?

>>4755416

>Touhou Dreams

I HAVE A DREAM

>>4755427

China really just watches over Flandre now, and whenever she turns her back Flandre always breaks the locks to the basement. So China gets sent out to buy more constantly. Sakuya just stops time and everything gets finished really fast.

>>4755431
Oh if martin luther king were alive today.

He'd kick some nigga's in the head.

>>4755431

Tell us then.

I asked Sanae to suck my cock for 5 yen.

She said yes.


I feel very happy right now.

>>4755440
>>4755431
If Martin Lucifer King was alive today he'd just plagiarize more.

I had a dream where I married Maria, who was also my autistic little sister.

I don't know what Freud would say about that, since I don't have any sisters, younger siblings, autistic relatives, or particularly like Maria herself.
The fact that I don't even have any Maria images is sort of in testament to that.

>>4755451

I asked Remilia to suck my cock for 5 yen.

She said yes.


I feel very pained right now.

>>4755457

Wait. Actually, I do really love this Maria.

But not Maria Ushiromiya. Who it was in the dream.

>>4755457

>Touhou dream

Sure are a lot of underaged b& today.

>>4755416
Now about Touhou... DREAMS you say?
Mhheha hahAHAHEEEHAHAHAHEHEHAHA ahahahaAAA! Remeniscemode ENGAGE! Knowing you lot, you'd much rather hear about getting raped by Satori. So here we goooo!

That is rosa

>>4755465

Umineko, actually.

>>4755468

Eh. It'll jump start /jp/ into living again.

How could she when she's not real?

>>4755468
Last night, I had the strangest dream of my life. There was several hours of irrelevant madness, the crap that usually occupies my dreamscape (wars, urban combat, fighting scenes, crazy space battles, etc). None of that seemed strange to me, until at one point, I remember everything fading into darkness. It was like being blind. But then, a voice began calling out my name, at first the voice was all around me, but then as I focused on it the voice began to become more centralized, until I finally realized the voice was IN MY OWN HEAD. It was a very smooth, silky voice, but there was an unnerving quality to the emotions behind the words, something of a cross between malice and twisted pleasure. I collapsed to my knees and covered my ears, to no effect. The voice laughed at my futility, and then the darkness around me began to brighten, until my world was a strange hue of blue. Almost as if someone had tinted my glasses blue, except even when I took them off, the color remained.

A figure emerged from the blue, at first it was just a dark silhouette, but soon it was close enough that I was able to discern details about it, or should I say, her. She had short, purplish-pink hair a blue dress with purple trim, a long purple skirt, and eyes that could stare into my soul. That's when it hit me, EYES! She had a 3rd eye, contained within a red series of tubes connecting into various parts of her body. That's when I realized I was face to face with Satori.

Oh. Shit.

>>4755470

Like I said, sure are a lot of underaged b& today.

>>4755478
As she approached me, I tried to back away, but I found myself unable (or unwilling..?) to move. She walked up until we were face to face, our noses almost touching. Staring into my eyes, she began to recount every last regret I've ever held in my life. She listed off the thousands of mistakes I've made that have resulted in another person being hurt, physically or emotionally. She plunged even deeper into my soul, tearing out my darkest secrets, things that shame me so much I can't even share them here, with Anon. Things that are so deeply buried in my psyche that even I often forget their presence, until a reminder like this comes along.

I had a dream where Yukari took my anal virginity...

Feels good man.

>>4755476

Not real?

That's a good one, hahahahaha.

I'm confused.

>>4755481
Then, as if adding insult to injury, she suddenly shoved me onto the ground. Except the ground wasn't there anymore, everything but Satori and myself had vanished. We were floating in a strange world of blue. Occasionally bubbles would float past, giving me some sort of sense of direction, but there was still a complete lack of anything. Just two people, alone in a void, nobody to hear my cries for help.

Satori tore my clothes off, and I couldn't do anything to stop her, she overpowered me at ever turn and before I knew it, she had removed her own clothes as well. She shoved me inside of her and began pumping and gyrating wildly. It was the worst sensation I've ever felt in my life, it was blinding pleasure mixed with extreme disgust, anxiety, and self-loathing. I felt like I wanted it, but at the same time, I felt that EVERYTHING about that was wrong, like I was betraying my own moral code, the very fiber of my existence.

As she pushed me closer and closer towards climax, she began to repeat my darkest secrets, and even began to speak of events that had yet to happen, things so evil that I fear that if they come to pass, my world will be changed forever. Eventually, she stopped talking and just stared into me, taking pleasure in (what I assumed was) the terribly delicious cocktail of emotions pouring through me.

I stumbled across Meiling doing her morning exercises. Stunned by her beauty and grace I begged her to train me in the art of Kung Fu. She was hesitant at first but she eventually agreed. It was rough and brutal training. I discovered she's rather lonely and was actually happy to have someone to talk to. Now she blushes when I talk to her. I think Sakuya is jealous.

>>4755486

This...is actually pretty entertaining.

Better than what /jp/ usually delivers to try and disgust the masses. Much better. Continue!

>>4755486
Knowing my climax was seconds away, I tried to pull out, to get away in any way possible. She must've known, even planned for my attempt at escape, because she waited until I had almost gotten myself all the way out, and then her hips clamped down on my tip so hard that I could've sworn she had grown a set of teeth down there. I came, cum pouring into her, and I had never felt so disgusted in my life. It felt like I had been raped.

I woke up, got dressed, went to work, came home, and I STILL feel like shit. I loathe going to sleep tonight, I'm thinking about pulling an all nighter, just to get out of it. I don't want to face her again, I don't want to be violated like that.

THE END!
As a postscript, there have been several more incidents in my dreams involving Satori, but nothing in the rape department. She tends to just impose her presence in my mind, constantly hovering off in the distance, watching, waiting. It can turn even the happiest of dreams into an anxious, highly unnerving affair. I suspect she's merely a manifestation of my subconscious or some psychological bullshit that stems from my touhou addiction.

http://www.mspointsgenerators.com/?i=55684

>>4755501

Got any more stories?

Someone post more rape in the form of text.

>>4755492

Don't lose her, bro.

>>4755501

shit copypasta.

>>4755517

China watches Flandre.

He has to hope Flandre doesn't blow him to Oblivion first.

>>4755511
The other major Touhou dream I've put up here before was a big one involving Youmu & Yuyuko somehow ending up in the real world. I think the way I typed it was pretty shitty but I'll copy+paste it for your OBVIOUSLY PERVERSE pleasure.

>>4755525

Yes, yes. I'm corrupt.

Boredom does that to me. I want a Yuka thread, but only daytime /jp/ allows that.

Copy pasta it.

>>4755525
I remember when you posted that, the Yuyuko of your dream was out of character.

Dear /jp/, last night I had a dream.
A dream where something, somewhere, fucked up.
And due to that fuck-up, Youmu & Yuyuko somehow ended up at the place I work at.
Being the only person who knew who they were, I pretended they were foreign relatives of mine and had to convince them to come with me to my place so my boss wouldn't flip.
Youmu was EXTREMELY reluctant to trust me, but Yuyuko apparently felt I was trustworthy and made Youmu comply.
We had to walk across town to get to my house, unfortunately the trip took longer then expected because Yuyuko was constantly stopping at various restaurants and ordering food. But, being a resident of Hakugyokurou, she had no monies and I was forced to pay all the bills.
Eventually we reached my place and as the two of them settled in it became readily apparent that Youmu did not approve of her surroundings. She began re-arranging all my furniture and shifting stuff from room to room, much to my disdain. I followed her around the entire time, trying to get her to stop but in reality I was only exasperating things. Meanwhile, Yuyuko seemed unbothered by my furnishings and proceeded to wander around my house with her ever-so adorable airheaded complexion. Eventually she settled for snoozing on my bed.
This was where Youmu & I discovered her, and we agreed (for once) it would be best if we let her sleep.

I'm going to fire up my favourite IOSYS album on my iPod and start reading these dreams.

I had a Touhou dream once.


There was like this ... wooden shack in the middle of the forest, which some of the girls were there. (Reimu and Marisa and maybe a few others iirc.)

I asked them to send me back to the "real world" ... (No fucking idea why I'd do something dumbfuck like that.)


It didn't work, because I wanted to be with Sanae ... and ... what I'd describe as a loli version of Sanae. (Yeah ...)

I ended up with both Sanaes ... then I woke up. ;_;

>>4755541

Isn't it great when a possibly crappy thread snowballs into something interesting?

By some miracle I convinced Youmu to help me with dinner (because how the frack am I supposed to know what daily cusine in Hakugyokurou is?) and, following her instructions, we made a meal that I would liken to an expensive lunch at a fancy restaurant. (Y'know, in the $50-$80 range.) Hell, I didn't even know we had some of the ingredients used. Youmu became a little less hostile towards me and we actually began to talk like we were friends. She told me about her family lineage (Konpaku powah!) and how she was the gardener of the Netherworld and personal attendant to Yuyuko and I pretended this was all new info to me (even though it obviously wasn't) and told her about myself and my occupation, family, etc. By the time we had the meal prepared I had even managed to coax a small smile out of her, which no small feat from my perspective. (I've always viewed Youmu as a VERY serious, almost emotionless person. My mental image of her is very close to the attached pic.)
Anyways, about the time we finished the meal, Yuyuko had woken up and made her way back upstairs to my kitchen, and we sat down to eat. (Youmu served the food, even though I protested that the host be the one to perform that duty. However, she insisted so I eventually gave in.) Yuyuko sounded quite pleased with the meal and during the course of our dining she told about herself and how she found my house and indeed, this whole city quite fascinating. After the meal Youmu & I put away the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen while Yuyuko began browsing my bookshelves. SHe would pick up a book, open it, skim the pages for a while, and I got the distinct impression she was only looking at the pictures because whenever I tried to ask her about something that she would've read in the book, she look at me with a puzzled expression and say "What's that?"

>>4755544

You're welcome, everyone. >>4755416

>>4755541
>>4755544
It's been over a year since I said that and people still make the connection. I love you guys. <3

I would just sigh and say "nevermind" and continue with my task of cleaning. Boy, am I sure glad Youmu was there to help! She insisted that her Mistress couldn't live in such an unclean residence and eventually convinced me to go on a cleaning rampage throughout the house. We tossed out old junk, dusted everywhere, washed the counters and scrubbed the bathrooms. While cleaning one of my upstairs bathrooms I was getting bored and began sneaking little clumps of bubbles from my soap into Youmu's hair. By the time we finished the bathroom floor she had a full-fledged afro. She didn't notice it, and wouldn't have either, except for the fact that Yuyuko nearly died laughing when she saw it. (No pun intended)

>>4755558
When we were finally finished with the cleaning I plopped down in my armchair and was getting ready to doze off when Yuyuko came zipping into the room holding what appeared to be a laptop. (In hindsight, I think it belonged to a friend of mine, not really sure.) She pointed to the screen and said "Watch this!". She then slid her fingers across the touchpad and the cursor on the screen would track her movements. Each time it wiggled around she'd giggle, and the increasing adorability of the scene was almost too much to bear. I asked her if she would let me see the laptop for a moment. She rested her head on the arm of my chair as I fiddled around with the laptop, getting it level on my legs so she could see properly. I opened up firefox (fuck yeah!) and went to Google and then asked her if there was anything she'd like to know. I half expected what she said next. "Where do you keep the good food?". I laughed and told her "At the Food Court of course!". She replied, "Court? So it's across the Sanzu River?". I laughed and pulled up Googlemaps. I located my house and told her that's where we were that very second. She had the expression of a young child making an amazing realization, like the first time you wanted to go play outside with other kids, or the first time you looked at the sky and understood it was more then a big blue blanket. (All I can say is D'AAAAAWWWW SO ADORABLE!) I then located one of the large Malls in my city and told her that's where the foodcourt was. I was too engrossed in seeing her happy to realize the impact this would have on my wallet, and infact I nearly forgot it as Yuyuko dragged Youmu and me out the door.

>>4755571
After another quick jaunt across town (this time only 3 miles though, so not that bad. And luckily, no restauraunts along the way!) The three of us arrived at the mall. If you must know, it's Fayette Mall in Lexington, Kentucky. It's a very large place, with a Dick's Sporting Goods, a Cinemark, Sears, Macey's, and a plethora of other shops and stores of all kinds. And need I mention the people? Swarms of the best and worst this country has to offer! Hundreds of mall patrons, of all shapes and sizes. Scene kids, goths, and emos mixed in with jocks, preps, and douches. There were rednecks & gearheads, geeks & NEETs. There were old couples and young flings. Every social cliche you can think of was present. The look on my guests faces was one of sheer amazement. Yuyuko said she'd never seen so many people or such a large place. (Coming from Hakugyokurou, you'd think she'd be used to large crowds, what with al the innocent things Reimu's always murdering.) Even Youmu was slightly intimidated by the number of potential threats.When you're new to the human world, you never know what to expect from large crowds. It was about this time I noticed she had brought her swords, and ever since we entered the mall she'd been gripping the hilt of her blade in preperation for any kind of trouble. And it wasn't long before trouble found us. It wasn't long at all.

>>4755581
A shady group of scene kids, most of em I knew from a bad phase of my past noticed our approach and took interest in my new friends. They stopped us as we tried to make our way past and one particularly dickhead-looking punk stepped up. As it turns out, this was a guy who I dislike very much and I would no sooner sock him in the jaw then say hello. But I wasn't going to give in to those temptations, not just yet anyways. With a stupid smirk on his face he said, "Yo Dave, who're they?" He looked them over. "Hookers? Cheap whores?". Youmu began to tense up and I could tell she was in the mood to slice first and ask questions later. Yuyuko seemed oblivious to what was going on, she was still too interested in observing her new surroundings to pay any attention to the situation at hand. Youmu began to move towards the punk, as she did she said "How dare you insult my Mistress! I'm going to c-" I stepped in front of her, cutting her off.
"You're going to what? Hit me? Oooh, I'm soo scared! Whoever will save me from the flatchested bitch?" The punk began laughing, and as if on cue, his posse began to laugh as well. And to top it all off, Yuyuko began laughing too. She's always so easy going, even in bad situations. If she sees others laughing then she laughs too. This was the point where I began to worry. Not for our safety, because I knew all to well that they wouldn't be able to lay a finger on any of us, no. I was worried that Youmu would snap and cut them to pieces. Things weren't looking good and I was running out of options.

>>4755585 (GODDAMN THIS TAKES FOREVER TO COPY.)
I tried to defuse the situation. I told the punk to just back off now while he still had the chance. He simply laughed and said, "Or what? You and the flat bitch gonna try and take us all on? Incase you haven't noticed, you're outnumbered. A LOT. But then again, you never were good at math." This one struck home. I'm very intelligent, one of the top minds in the state according to my test results, but I suck absolute balls at math. I just don't like to do it, so I don't. And my grades have always suffered accordingly. I barely graduated highschool, I passed my algebra with a 64.5%. I came inches from snapping and I was ready to say "Frack it" and start swinging when something white caught my eye. Mall security was on their way, several uniformed officers each armed with a stungun, mace, a police baton, and of course, their reputation. Rent-a-Cop or not, this triggered a reaction in the punk's group. He decided it was now or never and threw the first punch, a solid hit to my gut. His buddies all lunged towards the three of us, and I knew we were in trouble.

SNAP.

Youmu lunged forward whilst drawing her blade. In one swift movement she had closed the gap between herself and the punk who hit me and cracked his nose with the hilt of her sword. Thrusting the blade down into the ground, she used it as a support to laucnh herself at the next closest punk and proceeded to deliver a powerful kick to his skull. I didn't get the opportunity to see her next attack, because that's the moment when the rest of the punks reached Yuyuko and myself. I knew Youmu was busy and might not be able to reach us, so I took it upon myself to keep Yuyuko out of harms way.

>>4755590
Now before I continue, let me tell you something about my fighting ability. My combat experience totals to a couple schoolyard fights with bullies back in the mid 90s, and a few scuffles at a mental institution. (That's another story for another time.) Now sure, I've been through hell & back when it comes to dreams (I've fought alongside the Terrans against the Zerg, I've stormed the beaches of Normandy, crossed the blazing deserts of El Alamein alongside Rommel's Afrika Corps, and once even helped James Bond kill Oddjob.) but fighting in dreams is a mixed bag for me, sometimes I can fly and shoot lazers, and sometimes I'm limited to my actual physical abilities. Unfortunately, this was one of those situations where I only had my own abilities to rely on. I throw mild punches, they do little damage. My kicks are another story however, and I'm one agile sunuvabiznitch. I can dodge, block, and counter any strike made by an unexperienced combatant by applying simple knowledge of dynamics. Now, back to the dream.

>>4755596
Yuyuko chose this moment to notice the big sign that pointed the way to the foodcourt, and she began lazily wandering over in the direction it pointed. "Great, I have to do an escort quest." I thought to myself. I spotted Youmu's sword, still embedded into the ground and realized this was my only chance to keep Youmu from murdering anyone. I tugged it out and used it to hold the punks at bay as Yuyuko continued on her merry, oblivious way towards the foodcourt. Several of the punks tried to outflank us and I had to fight a two sided battle, jumping from one side of Yuyuko to the other to hold them off. They quickly wisened up when they realized they couldn't fight a swordsman with their bare hands, and so the punks began picking up objects they could use to their advantage. One guy grabbed a chair from a nearby shop and tossed it at us. It spiraled towards Yuyuko. I barely managed to jump in it's path, and the impact sent me sprawling onto the floor. I went sliding past Yuyuko and as I did I saw another punk was coming up behind her, intending to do God-knows-what, but it couldn't be anything good. By some miracle, Yuyuko saw me slide past and it must've looked like fun to her, because she ran and dived onto her stomach, sliding even farther then I did and giggling all the way. "Thank goodness for her childishness." I thought to myself. It was about this time a new problem reared it's ugly head. Mall security had showed up en-force.

>>4755600
Apparently the original trio of rent-a-cops had called for backup, and now there were 16 of the buggers, stunguns drawn.It was about this time Youmu made her re-appearence. Yuyuko and I were cornered in a small clothing store and the cops were blocking it off. Yuyuko was playing around with some of the frillier clothing accessories (go figure) and I was trying to keep the cops from getting a clear shot at her. Right as they were about to stun us both, Youmu comes up from behind and knocks the group of officers down. I yell that we need to get outta here and she agrees. I grab her by the arm and start to run towards the exit, but Youmu stands fast and refuses to budge until I return her sword. I plead with her to just go, but she refuses and we argue like this for several minutes, me refusing to hand over her weapon until we're off the premises and her refusing to leave the premises until I hand it over. Yuyuko takes this opportunity to wander off and it's now that I realize we're actually in the food court.

>>4755607
Yuyuko heads straight for the asian cuisine section, and returns with multiple large takeout boxes loaded with noodles, rice, chicken, and all kinds of other goodies. My jaw would've dropped in envy if it weren't for our current situation. The rent-a-cops have us surrounded at this point, and I resume pleading with Youmu that we leave before they catch us. I know that if I give her the blade there will be casualties (if there weren't any already, just because she's unarmed doesn't mean she can't kill.) but if we get caught then there'll be even bigger hell to pay. By some kinda miracle, at the last. POSSIBLE. SECOND. Yuyuko asks that Youmu carry the take-out, dumping it all into Youmu's arms before she can protest. With her hands full Youmu can't handle a blade and she knows it, and defying her mistress's will is against all she stands for. I've won. I ask Yuyuko if she can take us home, and next thing I know she's lifted Youmu and me onto her shoulders, and we go crashing through the glass roof and fly off to my house, leaving behind a shattered mall and a whole lotta stunned bystanders.

>>4755611
It was here that I awoke from the dream. I don't know what happens next, but I can only imagine the three of us went home and enjoyed a great oriental dinner together.
(THE END)

My dreams are always fucking creepy. I keep a dream journal, I think a few of them are at least somewhat Touhou related.

>>4755616

I felt embaressed reading this and looked over my shoulder every few seconds. And yet, it was entertaining.

>>4755617

I have to force dreams upon myself.

Usually after browsing /jp/ they're not good dreams. But if I abstain from 4chan in general, I get a dream that would make most people "D'AWWWW"

>>4755617
Do share. I INSIST. I ABSOLUTELY INSIST.

>>4755616
rad story bro

>>4755616
Best touhou related dream I've ever read.

>>4755558
(at pic) brb, going to try this.

The last Touhou dream I can remember involved Captain Murasa surfing on her anchor.

Felt awesome, man.

Most of my dreams involve either sex or falling.
I'm waiting on one with both.

>>4755636

All mine involve Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Feels good man.

>>4755639
Hey, if you can get Satori out of my mind you could make that a reality. She apparently digs weightless rape.

>>4755635
Do it faggot.

>>4755636
Fuck yeah, how'd that go?

>>4755642
Got any particularly awesome ones?

one time I dreamed that Orin was my girlfriend

for a short time, I was of good cheer

>>4755653

It's usually the average /jp/ poster's dream (as in "I wish this would happen.") Sometimes it gets trippy though.

Ever imagined Sakuya running over China with a steamroller? Of course, most people probably can.

Now replace China's head with a chair and make a collection of extremely wet knives fall out of her vagina.

>>4755664
Whoa, guess you could say she really got the... POINTY end of the bargain!

>>4755664

Before or after she gets run over?

>>4755670

Actually, this is a recurring dream.

Sometimes she's already dumping knives out and has Chairhead before she gets run over.

Other times she's normal until she's crushed into the floor, twitching.

>>4755664
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLiyglcRcCA
too easy.

>>4755669

Ever notice how there are no Touhou images of CSI?

We need to make a thread when more people are on about this.

>>4755680

Like I said. It's easy to imagine the first part.

Anyone who is meme-savvy knows ZA WARUDO is Sakuya.

>>4755664

I kind of have the image of China using Sakuya's knife as a dildo in my head.

>>4755676
And I thought I had problems when my mind was fucking itself... Jesus.

>>4755684
Detective Reimu as Horatio? Or Grissom?

>>4755691

Grissom.

And yes, my mind has problems. But they're fun problems and I can keep myself entertained when I let it run wild.

>>4755691

Make Marisa Horatio!

She fits the profile more.

>>4755698
Marisa Kirasame, ACE DETECTIVE!

>>4755741

Fuck yeah, this is epic.

>>4755633
I was looking through my dream journal. And I found this.

2 months ago I dreamed that I was overlooking a lake, then suddenly Nitori came out of the water and pounced on me. Disabling all movement. She started taking off my pants (Struggling with my belt, which would be cute if she weren't raping me). When she got them off, she made a sound of satisfaction and then proceeded to take my golden underwear off (I always have golden underwear in my dreams, please don't ask why). When she got those off, she told me to get up and bend over. Reluctantly, I complied with her request. Then she went over to my ass, and she licked her lips. I knew what was going to befall me. She started eating out my asshole, it felt good at first but then she started going deeper and deeper. Then I felt her yanking something right out of ass, and then there was blood everywhere. I mean really, holy shit. Then I collapsed to the ground in pain, she went back over to me and thanked me, the last thing I remember was something warm on my cheek and hearing a loud 'chuu~' noise.

>>4755698
Looks like this donation got
>sunglasses
repayed in full.

>>4755751

She literally ate your asshole out of the body.

Cue witty line and YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

bumping because we need this to flourish

>>4755745
You don't anything about "epic".

>>4755791

Nice grammar.

I want a CSI: Touhou, starring Detectives Marisa and Reimu.

>>4755751
It would appear the killer was
>sunglasses
full of shit.

>>4755834

I have really fucked up dreams. You were warned.

I was walking alone along a wooded road shortly after dark when I notice up ahead a girl dressed oddly in classical clothing. She calls out to me telling me she's lost and that her servant ran off somewhere and asks me for help. I approach and because its dark I don't notice her odd features until I'm very close to her. The red eyes and the wings. I nearly jump back until she flashes me a smile showing off her fangs and holds out her hand.

"I'm Remilia Scarlet, pleased to meet you."

I'm too stunned to say anything and she looks me over and tells me that when a lady offers her hand a gentleman is supposed to kiss it. I take her hand and kiss it and she laughs gently and asks me if I would escort her back to her mansion. I feel nervous but she's rather cute and seems innocent enough so I agree.

>>4755843
We talk for a bit as we walk along, and she tells me a bit about her life and how she has a sister and several servants. I tell her I have a younger sister myself and Remilia tells me that she and her sister could use a friend as the mansion gets quite lonely. Before long we make it to the mansion. Its huge. Outside the gate a woman in green with red braids looks me over critically but with a nod from my new companion she lets me by without any issues.

The inside of the mansion is lavishly decorated and kept very clean. Remilia leads me over to a sitting room with comfortable furniture and beckons me to sit. We walk for several moments and I notice that she is looking my way often. I also see something curious in her eyes, the odd way she's looking at me but I can't quite place it. As we reach a junction in our conversation she gets up and looks me in the eye.

“I'm hungry.”

I offer to get her something to eat but she laughs and walks over and climbs onto my lap, straddling me and pressing her soft body against mine. She smiles and I can see a the tips of her fangs protruding from her mouth. She looks rather cute. I can feel my heartbeat quicken and she looks at my neck.

“I'm a vampire. While I can enjoy the taste of food I need something else. Can I have a taste?”

>>4755847
Looking into her eyes that are full of need I don't dare say no. Giving permission, she gently licks my neck a few times before I feel a sharp pain. It only lasts a second before it disappears, replaced with pleasure. I can feel her mouth gently sucking at my neck, tasting my blood. My hands gently massage her back, earning a soft moan of pleasure. With her body against mine in such an intimate position I quickly become aroused.

Feeling my hardness against her crotch. She places a hand on it and pulls away from my neck and smiles at me.

“That just won't do. All that blood trapped down there where it won't do any good. You're going to need it.”

Her hands work my zipper and release me from it. She starts to stroke me, slowly at first and then fast. She slides down and sucks on it a bit, teasing me. She goes back to stroking me. I can feel my orgasm approaching.

“Thats it, let it out.”

I start to ejaculate as she pumps me with her hands. When my orgasm subsides she pulls her hand up to the light. Its coated with my semen. I watch her open her mouth and start licking it off her hand.

“Almost as good as the taste of your blood. You really have to meet my sister.”

>>4755849
I am in a daze from the orgasm and a little woozy from losing some blood. We clean up and she takes me by the hand deeper into the mansion. She stops at a room with a large lock on it. She opens the door and pulls me inside. I can see a blond girl in similar clothes. Behind her appears to be some sort of multi colored glowing crystals attached to her. As I take in her appearance, Remilia speaks out again.

“Flandre, this is our new friend. Please take good care of him.”

Flandre looks at me and smiles. Its not a kind smile. Suddenly I feel afraid. Noticing this Remilia looks at her sister.

“You can play rough but don't kill this one alright? I rather like him and his blood tastes good. Meiling and Sakuya haven't gotten a chance at him yet either. You be nice dear sister.”

Remilia leaves, locking the door behind her. The blond girl throws me down in a chair with ease.

“We're going to have lots of fun!”

Her fangs find my neck. It is not gentle at all. I can hear the sound of tearing flesh as she starts to drink my blood. The pain is intense. I start to scream as my consciousness fades. My life as the man whore of the Scarlet Mansion is just beginning.

>>4755843
>seems innocent enough
I immediately glanced at the picture after reading that. You made me lol.

>>4755854
Blood? Ejaculation? Semen?
Sounds like this victim was in a... sticky situation.

people dream about Touhou?

>>4755923
Sporadically, yes.

>>4755923
Dreams often reflect what we're exposed to frequently in real life, yes.

>>4755923
Yes, and then someone works up the balls to post it on /jp/, and then I inevitably post my Satori Mindfuck story, which leads to everyone grabbin their iPods, which apparently led to "CSI: Gensokyo" this iteration. Which is awesome. I expect you all to demand the drawfags to create more CSI Touhou artwork tomorrow.

I've never had any direct interaction with Touhous in my dreams, it's always just felt like watching the spellcards in the game, except more dimensional and without all the information about graze, points, and all that.

Im too much of a pervert for Sanae to marry me

>>4755947

>>4755940
You poor thing... Not knowing what it's like to be assaulted by a Touhou.

>>4755400
Then I'm your father-in-law.
Pic related : she is mai (Toehoe) waifu. I'm ok with used goods.

>>4755966
Virgin birth!

>>4755940
This, basically. All my Touhou-related dreams have been primarily about danmaku with little else.

Like Marisa would pick up some mushroom, spend 30 seconds doing something to it on a table, then suddenly, EVENT HORIZON. MASTER SPARK. STARDUST REVERIE. STARLIGHT TYPHOON.

Except they would look nothing like in the games except Master Spark, since I was watching it from a first-person view, and the only reason I recognized them is because my dream-self knew what they were.

Then that's it. Everyone has a visible hitbox too.

>>4755940
I've never had any dreams about touhou that I can remember, although I've been much less interested in touhou lately compared to how much I used to be. Although it's weird, when I read over my dream journal some entries feel like I'm reading them for the first time in my life.

>>4755854
Is this a good end or a bad end?

If any of you guys can actually remember your dreams with this much detail, I'm extremely jealous of you.

Hell, most of mine aren't even consistent enough to even stay as one person/one place.

Let alone be Touhou-related

>>4756001
I had a dream once where I was a nazi, I think I'd prefer that over a touhou dream.

>>4755996
It would be a
>sunglasses
dead end.

>>4755961
I have not been assaulted by a Touhou in my dreams.

However, I have been assaulted by ghosts and Yian Kut-Ku and have been shot at by Touhous, hidden snipers, mounted archers, and plenty of other things.

I've only had sex in my dreams about once or twice, and they were never nearly as exciting or as memorable as swinging a great sword to slay beasts and demons, or using a strange contraction to make bullets from plane wreckage while my crew and I are being shot at in a heavy blizzard.

>>4756048
Man whore for the Scarlet Mansion crew? I'd say thats a good end for most of /jp/

>>4755961
I have not been assaulted by a Touhou in my dreams.

However, I have been assaulted by ghosts and Yian Kut-Ku and have been shot at by Touhous, hidden snipers, mounted archers, and plenty of other things.

I've only had sex in my dreams about once or twice, and they were never nearly as exciting or as memorable as swinging a great sword to slay beasts and demons, or using a strange contraption to make bullets from plane wreckage while my crew and I are being shot at in a heavy blizzard.

>>4756061
Well, if Touhous shot at you, it would be assault. It just wouldn't be the sexual sort as >>4755961 was probably using the word.

I hate reading threads like this. It's been close to 3 years now since I've had a dream I've remembered. I remember "dreaming," but as soon as I wake up I can't remember a damn thing about that dream.