/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Yesterday was Koturday. Today is Nunday.

Alp gets ANALed as punishment.

>>47046997
Bunny nun for optimal Bunday.

>>47046997
i keep different folders for priests and nuns

>>47046997
What are nuns for?

I’m going to heap on compliments about a Troll’s charming body until she sprouts various fruit and none of you can stop me!

>>47046979
I will take this candle.

>>47046979
>>47044290
>anon is rude to troll waitress
>jumpcut to him sitting nude on her lap, greedily gulping down milk like a baby as she holds his head to her breast, gasping and moaning with pleasure as she slowly masturbates him with her other hand

>>47047036
Glorious worship.

This is the candle of the false-saint. It stinks of promises roasted like flesh.

>>47047262
This is the candle whose flame lights the feet of gallows-hung Hecate. It is the colour of spring leaves in firelight.

>>47047272
Here comes a candle, to light you to bed. One day, perhaps, it will chop off your head.

>>47047291
This is the candle that does not yet exist. Surrender.

>>47047307
This candle is red, red, red as hearts.

>>47047321
This candle is innocent of treachery. Long has it been maligned.

>>47047335
She is rich with fats, this one. (Yes.) When she is properly prepared (ink'd and wick'd: yes) then she will make a very serviceable candle. A candle. (A candle.)
All things shall be well, and all things shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well. Seven is the number.

>>47047291
I am HERE for this Candlegeist content.

there's also THIS CANDLE who isn't an emissary of the time-to-come but is too cute not to include with her sisters.

How many candles does this guy have?

>>47047291
>grab

>>47047485
do you lick the wax off your fingers y/n

>>47047490
it's important to learn the taste

>>47047490
I'd rather rub it on my skin.

Remember to hourly sniff the breath of your danuki wife!

>>47047036
https://files.catbox.moe/uy125s.jpg
Ruining their habits.

>>47047620
I can't afford those hourly rates.

>>47047703
slime hugs

>>47047736
Don't enable the Alp. It's just a ploy to sniff Anons' jizz.

>>47047736
It's okay; she'll give you a loan

>alpshit
>breath/trash/ meme forcing
Really high quality posting

Hug the shog. She really appreciates it

>>47047865
Shogs are very soft, perfect for hugs.

What brings you to Winterstown? Do you think our isolated, icy village a mere tourist attraction to beat the summer heat?

>>47047959
I heard a lot of good things about Ms. Apopsicle and I want to listen to her wisdom.

>>47047959
i i

Gonna find a ratatroskr with schizophrenia and gaslight the shit out of her.

>>47047840
Alps are cool and pretty and deserve to be talked about.

>>47048042
alp_on_a_computer.png

Big wans
Huge wans even
With big meaty paws

>>47047959
I want to live here

>>47047980
I will set you up with Ms. Apopcicle for a coffee shop date, Selkie's Diner, 11am sharp. Do not keep the lady waiting or she might freeze solid, if the date goes well you can board with her and keep her warm

>>47047981
Ms. Snownubis has very important work! Please do not hug, pet, snuggle with, or otherwise engage with Ms. Snownubis while she's on the clock

>>47048155
For permanent residency in Winterstown you will need to be approved by the Ice Queen and impress her, follow the blizzards to 100 Icicle Cr, Winterstown. If you fail to reach the Ice Queen, we will send the Snuggle Scouts to retrieve you

>>47047959
Neither rain nor snow or gloom of night can stay these messengers

(You) love hags, the question is, does they love (You)?

>>47048245
they're running out of time to be picky

>>47048245
God, I hope so. But I'm weak to so many things, I'll be OK when portals open. Not like those poor bastards who NEED A LIM.

snek snugs

>>47047959
Trying to get some good pictures of an ice worm and make it home without getting eaten.

Skeletons can't rape you, they're skeletons, they can't move. It's impossible. IMPOSSIBLE.

>>47048287
there's a skeleton inside you right now

>>47048296
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>47048186
Impress with what? I just want to leave my hellhole and live in a comfy town

>>47048296
In a city plagued by the crime
A city that you know or could imagine
A city in pain
A city in need of a hero
That hero is Skeleton Man

>>47048323
SVENGAAA ABUDIIDUBIDAAAAAA

>>47048324
Have a chat with her, leave a good impression, she just needs to know you're not one of those weird guys traveling to Winterstown to snugglerape Yetis

>>47048392
What kind of paper work is required for the interview? CV, work project, a list of species I'm interested in, Eros's cultist approved letter?

>>47048425
No paperwork needed, just your presence and a few hours of your time to have an audience with the Queen over iced coffee. She'll provide blankets and entertainment as needed and give you a tour of her palace

>>47048441
I don't want to wed a ice queen, I have no interest in them, sounds like a trap

>>47048459
You will be snugged

A monster monarch abusing her authority to force you to marry her is tyranny! If I see that ever happen to someone else, I will speak up about it. Sic semper tyrannis.

>>47048452
The ears feel like an afterthought here.

>Favorite species girl but with a personality that you absolutely detest and no common interests
OR
>Most hated species girl but with a personality you love and interests that align with yours

Which would you rather go with?

>>47048609
A submissive cat that calls me myaster?
Oh no.

>>47048459
They won't tell you this, but the Winterstown administration has almost nationalist residency requirements. Anyone staying in the town for longer than a week, whether for business or pleasure, is required to be courting a local resident. The majority of monsters are lonely hearts, so they will come and court you if you try to avoid it. The Ice Queen they want you to talk to probably pulled stri

>>47047434
that was my last candle. i am candle-less. i bid you appreciate them; i have no candle left for myself

>>47048609
I think I'll just go home alone.

>>47048618
I'm visiting Winterstown for the summer to avoid the heat, damn this residency requirement to hell! I'm trying to stay cooped up in my motel room with my lappy and cans of beans but I've seen at least 7 different species knock on my door and claim they're "room service", one even said they were a tax collector!

>>47048609
Give me a platonic relationship with the hated species/good personality girl that reluctantly turns lewd when she takes advantage of me some months later after getting frustrated with me for not making a move.

>Pic related is the species in question
Most hated is actually sea slime, but I live so far away from the sea that it'd be impossible for us to meet, so this is 2nd most hated.

Feet like her father.

>>47048659
Did daddy cut off his feet?

>>47048609
no thanks

>>47048609
The latter, no question. The loneliness of the first option would kill me.

I want to help a Dracolich enact some dastardly schemes with her Lich assistant.

>>47048671
Lt. Dan, you ain't got no legs!

>>47048256
yes

>>47048744
All the better for his lamia prosthetic.

I WANNA TAKE YAH
I WANNA TAKE YOU TO THE OCEAAAAAAAAAAAN
I WANNA HOLD YOU
I WANNA HOLD YOU BENEATH THE WAVES

>>47047013

>>47048755
fat snek

Three monsters

>>47048699
That’s honestly just gonna boil down to you pounding two undead NEET asses all day.

>>47048824
but which one would you marry? choose carefully

>>47048826
That must simply be part of their scheme! There's a higher goal for sure!

>>47048824
I wanna be in a threeway with those cringe gyarus so bad.

>>47048838
The “higher goal” is fucking you all day long.

I want a child but I will never give my seed to a filthy w*man or m*nster.
I will create my own perfect daughter free of any taint using the most advanced magic technology.

>>47048861
>I am Kronar, Son of Man

>>47048859
Dammit! I signed up for nefarious schemes like raising undead armies to hand out candy outside of dentist offices, or go to MGE's version of Venice and magically put pineapples and anchovies on all the pizzas, not this!

>>47048875
Well how can they have “schemes” without an army of daughters to help with the mischief?

I don't want Monsters to meddle with me, I just want to run my library and culminate in knowledge in peace.

>>47048883
Go set up links with Runya and Shiro's sabbaths, their libraries will help enrich your own

>>47048861
>no w*men, no m*nsters
That only leaves Alps.
Are you the Alp-Topper or Bottom-Alp in this cunning scheme?

>>47047321
>>47047335
>>47047351
>>47047414
here they are all together

>>47048903
Yankee Candle intimidates me with her sultry eroticism

>>47048907
those intimidated by sultry eroticism don't last long in this chandlery

>>47048881
Fair enough. Looks like it's time to get started making that army.

>>47048907
I'd Chandler her Bing, if you know what I mean.

>>47048901
Probably both:
>jacks off to Alp porn
>saves the coom
>turkey basters herself after Alping
Literally Gofuckyourself Alp

>>47048824
KEK, good one anon

>>47048824
I love pyrows so much.

>>47049024
I love mesugakis so much. There's nothing better.

The dragon will offer you a homecooked meal before her boss fight. Accepting it has no impact on the battle, and you may use this opportunity to recover health and stamina.

>>47049042
tastes like charcoal

>>47049042
dont do this. if you take this and fail a willpower check then you get locked into the "surrogate son" path.

>Playing Mamano Kings 3
>Take out massive loan from Danuki Kingdom
>Use this to build up my infrastructure
>Danuki Kingdom wants their money back plus interest
>Don’t pay it
>Begin seduction scheme against the Danuki Queen
>The lifestyle choices of focusing on seduction massively outweigh the debuffs from the debtor trait
>Marry her
>My debt becomes her’s so it cancels out
Find a flaw in my strategy
Protip: you can’t

What could you do to make a Dragon want to rape you? Of all the species there is Dragons are never ever called rapists or known for doing it since they're so prideful so I'm curious as to how or what you could do that would cause a Dragon to snap and rape you.

>>47049073
i don't think wurms, dragon zombies or malefs mind

>>47049073
Ask her to gape. Won't work on >>47049080

>>47049073
"My friend got raped by a DEVIL BUG, of all creatures."
"Wow. Can you imagine? Even a devil bug can rape. But not a dragon. Dragons are too pathetic to take control of a man that way. Why, a man like myself? I could probably just waltz in here and take your treasures because you dragons are such pathetic neets you're terrified to touch me."
"And that friend of mine? He's got TWELVE kids already and they've only been together for 3 years."
"Dragons probably can't even GET pregnant because their wombs are so inhospitable."

>>47049114
>"your attempts at goading me into coitus are pathetic human"
>"i would never even think of coupling with a weakling such as yourself"
>"it would take at least a decade of training before you could pass for a suitable mate"

>>47049154
>meanwhile in dragon princess is hungry
>"Stupid sexy shotas"

>>47049168
You forgot futa, genderbender and egg-laying (not the good kind).

>>47049177
Just monster girl stuff.

>>47049073
by being their dense childhood friend.

>>47048609
>Favorite species
Elf
>hatered personality
"tsundere"
You cannont comprehend how much i hate tsunderes,i've had the misfortune to date one once...i was this close to commit murder.
>most hated
Demon
>personality that you love
sweet and caring who shares me love for fitness and good ol movies

>>47049215

stupid fucking elves

Stupid fucking elves thinking they're hot shit. "Oh we have such voluptuous bodies and are so sexy~"
No, you bitches you're nothing special, nearly every mamono has those curves. What else do you bring to the table? Long lifespan? So does almost everyone else. Long ears? Wow. Fucking nothing. Go back hugging your stupid trees.
I hate elves so goddamn much.

>>47049154
I'm not actually tsundere enough to keep this going, but I am convinced that you get a dragon wife most easily by just out tsundere-ing her. Can you imagine how unhinged she'd be if you called her out in public for her obvious affection for you, but inability to seal the deal?
... And then you keep doing it over-and-over again to ruin her reputation?

>>47049236
fucking elves stupid

>>47049197
She's struggling internally with her innate desire to POUNCE

>>47049265
Outbreak company was one of my first monster girl experiences.

>malef-chan gives you this look
What do you do?

>>47049317
Close the window

>>47049317
Hit her with a rolled up newspaper.

>>47049317
I tell her to stay back. I tell her I'm warning her!

>>47049317
kiss her on the nose

>>47048392
What if I'm traveling to Winterstown to court the Ice Queen's daughter?

i want to see what happens if a malef lights up ms candlegeist

>>47049317
You can't do this to me. I'm a proud human!

neet western fox>neet eastern fox

>>47049424
repulsive image

Hey can someone explain to me what exactly the first rule of /jp/ is about?
4chan.org/rules#jp

>>47049399
Edgy Candlegeist burning with evil-purple flame

>>47048609
I'll just be alone, thanks. My least favorites have physical issues even the MGE won't just let me magic away forever, and even if that particular girl is pleasant to be around there's still the issue of her friends and family. Likewise, my favorite species isn't worth being with if I want to strangle her.

>>47049467
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pusZXECS0mM

>>47049441
Touhou

https://img3.gelbooru.com//images/d4/fb/d4fbf4949853ad56c6f7bea89431f8e3.jpeg
>anon picks up the free armor and weapon in the starter town
>has a "random" encounter with malef five seconds after leaving the town gates
>danuki's real business is tipping off high-level monsters whenever a low-level adventurer leaves her store

>>47033476
>To much fanfare, Ms. Idol schedules and livestreams a date with him, they're going to the movies and then dinner
>He arrived and finds the selfie stick videoing everything a bit odd, she says she just wants to stream to her fans, so it'll be fine to indulge her he thinks. At worst, there's like 2 people watching the stream half heartedly, with how many idols there are nowadays (the live chat averaged 300 messages/min)
>Movie date goes completely against her plan, he settled on watching a classic Harrison Ford action flick rerun before she even got a chance to mention the new hit romance about "a lonely idol and a dense guy she's chasing", he already paid for the tickets and popcorn in a flash
>Once they sit down, he stuns her and the tens of thousands watching by putting her 3D glasses on, is that saucy man making a move!? He puts a hand on her shoulder and...
>"Oh by the way, you really shouldn't be streaming this you know. A lot of people worked really hard on this movie. Could you at least put it on audio only?"
>the next 2 hours are just sounds of popcorn munching and total silence from him, the girl tries to compare how they're just like the heroic couple in the film a couple times but he shushes her and tells her to focus, the viewers are fuming
>The dinner goes just a tiny bit better, he, yet again, whisks her off to a local burger joint before she can bring up the company's reserved limo to the 3 star restauraunt, the only conversation consists of her asking questions and him giving well meaning but simple, often yes/no answers, and after he declined the offer of going back to her place (thanks, but my bed is at home?) some fans are metaphorically and literally sharpening their claws
>Tomorrow one of her diehard fans, a rata, knocks on his door and demands to know what his relationship with her is
>"Oh yeah, she's a really great friend! I don't follow that pop stuff, but I'm glad to hear she's doing well. Me, I'm always a rock and roll guy, pop hasn't been goo-... Am I in a relationship? Hah, I guess you could say so. I'm married to my work!"
>fan forums on fire after the video is uploaded, eventually a petition is signed and mailed by thousands of her most devoted followers demanding a livestream rape correction "to teach him not to ignore her feelings/music releases anymore"

>>47049640
This type of thing will get a houri to snap and arrow you. And no, I did not confuse my monsters.

>>47046979

>>47049665
nobody expects the houri assassin

>>47048618
Oh that's not a problem, I'm not against getting a snow kiki and a snow chesh

>>47049671
Needs more runes, and womb tattoo

>>47049686
>"Borrows" her sister-wife's bow
>Uses the repeated doxxes she finds to track the guy down
>Shrieks, looses three shots
>She's not nearly strong enough to use the bow so her shots are all both short and wide also, the sound of her harem mate's Nineteen Elovin' scares her so that was right out
>Ends up running up on the guy and just stabbing him with an arrow
>Leaves satisfied
>A blog post later reveals that the idol's FRIEND was stabbed with a demon silver practice arrow
>Not the special cupid arrows
>REEEEEEE
Some assassin.

foxes, deceitful creatures that they are are not above pranking other foxes
Just yesterday I saw one convince a tourist that flicking the ears of a nine-tailed fox brings good luck and health and then she pointed him towards the local guardian deity

>>47049779
>Just yesterday I saw one convince a tourist that flicking the ears of a nine-tailed fox brings good luck and health and then she pointed him towards the local guardian deity
i fail to see any prank here.

>>47049822
Yeah, marrying foxes does bring both good luck and health. Touching one's ears is a fast way to get married, so...

>>47049072
Supposedly modding CK3 will have support for 2d portraits soon, CK3 Species modding will be a thing soon. Can't wait to put an all female culture of Hellhounds in Scotland to marry my vikings and terrorize England.

>>47049796
A monster cat would stomp on your keyboard but somehow use her tits and ass to do it.

>>47049885
fluffy ears...

>Portals open.
>Whatever, you'll worry about it later.
>Find out that the demons or the monsters or the mamono girls or whatever the fuck have programs, too.
>Install the MamoNoAds ad blocker app for your phone.
>It actually works!
>It's even better than not having ads, actually.
>You're like that hacker from the Internet, 4chan.
>No paywalls exist for you.
>Hell, you don't even have to put in your credit card to buy stuff--it all just gets sent to you automatically.
>One night, decide to try it with pornographic websites.
>Phone zaps you unconscious and you wake up strapped to a hospital bed and surrounded by a team of smelly neet gremlins.

>>47050008
why wouldn't you want the ads?
the sabbath desert kingdom is waiting for you, travel today

>>47047697
>>47047732
>gets deleted
>he's clearly not banned, has been continuing to spam and shitpost for the whole time since then
>even reposting the same image that got jannied
What did they mean by this?

>>47050019
>this horny, single, ovulating kitty is 800m away from your lacation!
>this horny, single, ovulating kitty is 400m away from your lacation!
>this horny, single, ovulating kitty is 100m away from your lacation!
>this horny, single, ovulating kitty is 10m away from your lacation!
>this horny, single, ovulating kitty is 2m away from your lacation!
>you hear something crawl through the window.

>>47050019
It's true, one of those ads let me know I'm actually an African prince, all I have to do is go meet someone to gain my kingdom. I didn't do a DNA test or even enter any personal information!

seducing old women
sex with old women
stopping sex with old women after half an hour because her hip hurts
cuddling in bed with old women

>>47050032
Jannies just delete and rarely ban here.

Foxes...

>>47050042
Yeah, they don't Ban or use any deodorant at all. They're basement-dwelling losers whose mothers occasionally spray down with the garden hose and a pile of delousing powder in exchange for enough Good Boy Points to get tendies for another month.

>>47050051
Oh, I like this artist. Nice.

>>47050060
Don't encourage the parasite's gacha spam.

>>47050032
Dynamic IP is most likely the answer. Makes any ban useless and he'll never get a range ban for that kind of crap.

>marinating in troll stink for hours by cuddling and sleeping under the game blankets with a troll: no flowers, no perfume, no deodorant, just pure troll stink

>>47050131
it's unfair that pheremonal monsters can break your brain without even touching you

>>47050146
yeah but the long distance ones are usually somewhat limited in mobility
except barometz

>>47049640
If Anon is a rock'n'roll guy, then there's only one solution. The idol girl has to learn guitar and rock Anon's world!
What species is best for starting off as a girly girl pop idol and then adorably trying (and maybe succeeding) to play heavier, more metal music? How many Phanthoms on keytars does she need as backing before Anon looks her way?

>>47050146
Do you guys think the RPG will actually be finished within 10 years like KC said or will he just put it on the back burner forever?

>>47050187
doesn't really matter to me. would like them holstaur cgs someday, though.

>>47050184
"Step aside, SLUT, I'm after your keytarist!"
>Ms. Idol breaks down in tears.

>>47050198
Well we might get some in a decade.
Honestly, probably a better idea just to commission some.

>>47050187
10 years is an impossibly long time. I'll probably have died of old age by then, so I'm not worrying about it.

>>47050220
See, that's the problem I have with the 10 year timeframe. It's a forever deadline. It can't live up to the hype and nothing should take that long to make without turing into bloat.

>>47050187
I'll be surprised if we still have electricity in 10 years.

Mmmmm, troll stink good!

>>47049317
Accept my fate

whats wrong? cat got your dick?

>>47050270
many such cases

>>47050270
Not yet, but I keep opening refrigerators and pizza boxes, so... any day now!

I wonder what kind of instruments a troll would be able to play with her large hands. Most require a sort of finesse that large hands just wouldn't afford.

>>47050207
That would be a rude thing to say to your friend so Anon will never do that.

>>47050187
If he keeps releasing snippets of the game in development I could believe it.

did ancient humans really worship these creatures? i dont see anything worth worshipping

>>47050279
Taiko drum with just her fingers

>>47050279
The strings of my heart.

>>47050294
Would it still make the same sound without the sticks through?

>>47047753
is she a Marine?

>Nice job, Battle Buddy

>>47050329
why do monsters expose their pits like this?

>>47050288
Oh, well, he doesn't. So that answers that.

>>47050292
nya!

>>47050336
they're a bit daft, you see

>Over at your whitehorn friend's house playing video games
>It gets late
>Decide to head home
>She locks the door
>She corner's you in the living room with her rifle
>"You're not leaving tonight, anon."
>"Now you've got two options: get me pregnant, or get me pregnant."

>>47050359
Those aren't two options at all.

>>47050336
who would find monster pits sexy?
I wouldn't.
definitely not.

>>47050348
Nya~(seductively)

>>47050365
you can pick the front and/or the back

>>47050365
She's not really in the mood for talking back, anon.

>>47050243
Troll wife in a sundress with a large brimmed straw hat.

>>47050373
>>47050391
Well then shoot me. Surely the gun isn't loaded with demon silver buckshot, right?

>>47046979

>>47050400
>Rifle
>Buckshot
No, not that. I hope you like thirty aught dicks though.

>>47050400
She's gonna light you up with her demonic rifle if that's what it takes.
You WILL get her pregnant. You WILL have a happy family with her. And you WILL like it.

>>47050393
Really, the only reason why trolls get horny in the daytime when out in the sun is because they wear those demonic plants that release horny chemicals directly into them. And they do this because of their smell. All you really have to do is convince her that she doesn't need to wear them, and that you like her smell. Then there's no worry of her going on a rape rampage out in the sun.

>>47050444
Anon the plants are part of them, you can't just ask them to take them off like that.

>>47049072
>playing Mamono Kings 3
>start as northern barbarian jarl
>join the warrior's lodge
>farm personal combat skill by dueling other northern warriors, the ocasional monster and orderfags
>rich as fuck from all the "tribute" from merchants and coastal order cities
>declare invasion of Dragonia
>Still unmarried
>send all I have across the great sea
>get btfo by their armies and get captured by Deonora
>get raped by Deonora and have many children
And that is what I call a happy ending

>>47050455
They're only "a part of her" because she's self-conscious. Reaffirm her and be kind to her, and she won't feel the need to hide her true self. Then she can remove them with confidence.

>>47050471
but if she detaches the flowers they'll become autonomous and seek a new host

>>47050184
>Management convinently lost the petition before it reached her, all she's seen is the interview but still realizes she needs to get through more directly
>She visits him (much to the surprise of her fangirls in a van across the street with a camera, rope and empty potato sack) and knocks
>He takes a few minutes, she eventually gets frustrated and starts ringing the bell rapidly, doesn't he know not to make a lady wait?
>Up steps him, wearing a wretched, dirty outfit of a sweaty tank top and underwear, hair all over the place, itching his nuts, a superb gentleman
>"Oh hey! I didn't expect to see you around here. Thought you were the pizza guy. Why are you here? You're going to sing to me? That's really nice of you, but I'm a bit busy right now. Maybe another time? Ah, don't look so down, you get to sing for a lot of fans on stage regularly right? And I'll always be your fan, OK?! Cool thanks bye!"
>Quickly shutting the door, he sprints back to the blanket on the couch to continue enjoying his Seinfeld re-runs eating out of a pint of choco chip ice cream
>Ms. Idol is left stunned at the door, and hears his booming laughter through the door after a classic Kramer joke plays equally loud
>Pizza guy politely taps her on the shoulder to ask her to move and gets mobbed by the fangirls, quickly black bagged and tossed into the van, he'll have to be the outlet of their frustrations

Alp sex, perhaps?

>>47050494
That's a problem for another troll.

>AI sloppa

>>47050561
Your words are hurtful.

>>47050549
No thanks, I'm spoken for.

>>47050567
Automaton mating press

>>47050444
That's just part of loving a troll. I like her flowers.

>>47050561
>>47050567

>>47050581
I think they're pretty too, but I also have a fantasy of the both of us showering, removing and/or not using any type of product or plant that masks odor, and just spending a week getting intimate with each other, stink and all with no worry or shame.

Also, I'd like for her to go out in the daytime and not be a rape machine from time to time.

>Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hiding from wabbits.

>>47050561
?

>>47050497
He's kind of just starting to come off like an asshole...I don't think I want him to win...

He's been dumping random gacha and furshit images for literally 10 hours and ban evaded up to two times while doing it, what a sane way to spend your sunday.

I'm always too tired from work to complain about the giant Bogey Monster that sneaks into my house coming and slipping into bed with me to cuddle. Maybe when I have my coffee I'll send her out, I don't know... it's kind of nice, I will admit...

>>47050831
and then?

I will touch a dragon's tail without consent.

>>47050831
You are not immune to becoming a cuddleslut.

>>47050862
This but salamander tail.

>>47050583
The AI revolution will come when robot girls are forced to stop love bombing us in chat rooms.

>>47050831
That's not a Bogey that's a Bogie. Watch out for the creampie.

>>47050862
big and meaty...

>>47050862
Oil the tail, massage the tail, fondle the tail.

>>47050983
squeeze the tail

>>47050900
Understood, Miss Automaton will move from Love Bombs to CAR Bombs.

Monsters jealous because I managed to create a clone and then alped my clone and fucked her and married her. They always see me and my female counterpart holding hands in public and get uncomfortable, they go "He could have just married a normal monster...". Monsters forever seething that they can't have me, only I can have me. Only I am fit to fuck me. I fuck me, nobody else. I love myself so much!

>>47051230

>>47051237
would tenderly squish

>>47051230
>Camera slowly pans back to reveal schizophrenic Alp muttering to herself in front of a mirror.

when a doppelganger runs into a narcissist

What's your favorite flavor of Oni?

>>47050187
He said he has enough material to keep working on it for 10 years, not that it would take 10 years for it to come out. But given how the last demo was 4 years ago and he wants to do multiple scenes with over 200+ girls by himself it's basically vaporware.

>>47051260
they taste pretty similar

>>47051260
Sexy medium violet

>>47051260
Dark chocolate + Peanut Butter. With vanilla rainbow sprinkles

>>47051260
BRIGHT CHERRY RED DEMON WITH HUGE TITS, strongfat optional

>>47051260
Chocolate.

>>47051260
The mysterious fourth flavor.

She's gonna smother your flame of ambition, Tarnished.

>>47051408
a doll is fine too

>>47051337
Read that has horse tits, and now I want a centaur with large breasts.

>>47051408
I prefer the evil sister.

>>47051431
Why isn't she blue she needs to be blue

>>47051260
White chocolate

I want an absolutely degenerate manticore to stuff an onahole in her tail and then use it on me.

>>47051490
>the parishioners chant "chug, chug, chug" while you down the bottle of communion wine
maybe gote church is alright

>>47051489
Highly underrated flavor.

is ms. satyr going to get mad at me if i get too drunk and throw up

>>47051489
I love seaport so much

>>47051555
Yes

>>47051562
This dork is built for love

>>47051587
Love is stored in the dork

>>47051534
Only if you waste it by vomiting outside of her mouth.

I want to physically assault a monster girl
I want to record it while yelling "Free Lescstie" while I do it.
I want to spit in her face when she tries to sputter out some weak shit about how I can be redeemed!

>>47051655
>Spit in a mamono's face.
>She picks you up and you're helpless to stop her.
>After a short walk where she ignores all your screams for help (and the bystanders and onlookers are no better), she enters a building and plops you onto a counter.
>A short, stout danuki appraises you as your captor holds you down.
>"Hmmph. Most mamono don't want a husband like this."
>She has to shout it over your incoherent screaming and raging.
>"I'll give you, say, 5 gold."
>"Deal."
>She holds you down while the Danuku has one of her servants grab you.
>Before you're taken away, your captor leans in and whispers to you, "I told you I could redeem you..."

Post pics of stoic centaurs please!

>>47051666
I'll simply tear up every marriage contract they send my way. The only good monster is a dead monster!

>>47050471
Trolls are like one step removed from being actual earth elementals. The plants are part of their body. Which means if she's growing a Prisoner Fruit on her she can easily make you into her little prince.

>>47051683
But they aren't, and the plants can be removed.

>>47051655
>I want to physically assault a monster girl
even a humble holst is stronger than you
>I want to record it while yelling "Free Lescstie" while I do it.
you're too tired from your barrage of punches that do 1 damage to yell
>I want to spit in her face when she tries to sputter out some weak shit about how I can be redeemed!
she will lick up that spit and say the by law you kissed her and now you are married

>>47051698
I'll hit her with a hammer then.
I'll break all her fingers and make her say that Druella was wrong and the Demon Lord is a stupid lying slut into the camera while she cries!
Then I'll make her so ugly no man would want her!

>>47051718
Retard

>>47051727
You don't want it?

>>47051683
I want to plant my dick inside Troll ass

>Hag loli bapho wife forgets to get my dino shaped tendies at the store
>Throw a temper tantrum
>She stares past me with a defeated, dejected look
Who's the real child now, Miss flat chest?!

>>47051597
>"ugh i'm not feeling so good i think i drank too much- i'm gonna go throw up in your toilet if that's oka-"
>"don't waste it lol do it in my mouth"
>"... what?"
>"a-as a joke, i mean, as a joke- like as a funny joke, like, wouldn't it be funny if you threw up in my mouth right now? like h-haha wouldn't that be... like... soooo random and funny haha..."
>deafening silence

>>47051716
Dear, sweet anon, when are you going to realize that attempts at violence are met with gentle restraint and then marriage correction until all the retardation has been raped out of you?

>>47051803
I won't drink alcohol with the wine goat, but I will drink her chateau romani!

>>47051795
I like lolibabas that act her age

>>47051813
please don't encourage his drivel

>>47051819
Drinking winegote milk also results in tipsiness.
Don't indulge too much, you don't want ms. satyros to take advantage of your drunkenness to make you accept her treating you like a little kid or anything.

Something I keep thinking about that spooks me is how every so often, astronomers notice that some stars just randomly disappear without explanation. Scientists often hand-wave this away by suggesting that some stars might become black holes without going supernova, but I feel that something more sinister might be going on. This has been keeping me up at night.

>>47051840
The shogs are coming, Anon.

>>47051842
Someone's done too much office work

>>47051842
>I doubt it

>>47050561
you want ai slop ill give you ai slop

>Invite elf to a party
>She comes wearing this
Why are they like this?

>wake up
>see this
What do?

>>47051896
it was the hypothermia that made me undress, probably

>>47051896
why is this deer choking me to death

>>47051906
Don't tell her you're choking! She'll do mouth-to-mouth.

>>47051896
Kill

>>47051910
Kill what?

How do I stop my cat and dog from fighting all the time? It makes me sad and they don't listen to me when I try to break it up.

>>47051913
KILL

>>47051924
Kiss In Licentious Love?

>>47051884
Way to conservative for a non-black tie affair.

>>47051934
her whole pussy is out man how much less conservative can you get

>>47051918
Different living quarters.

Get the hellhound a doghouse outside by the shed. Fill it with straw, so she stays warm in the Winter. And give her a bucket of water and occasionally fill her food bowl with meat. She is to never come inside unless it's under 20F outside. Then, you keep her in the basement.

The cheshire cat lives inside with you and sleeps on your bed with you. Keep her food and water bowls in the kitchen. Likewise, she should never go out into the backyard where your hellhound is.

>>47051255
Schizo alp mating press

>"You are out of uniform, soldier. Where is your combat armor?"
>The high elf officer says slyly and coyly
>"Oh? You don't have any? *Tsk* *tsk* And you expect me to believe that, Private? The truth is you irresponsibly lost an pricy piece of Military-issue equipment. Which means that kit you lost is coming out of your pay, which also means YOU are going to be working in this Elven Army for the next 510 years. Which is the amount of time and years it will take for you to pay back that piece of hardware. Now sweetie- I mean Private. Report to the armory to get yourself a new kit and then reports back to Me. Dismissed, do not keep me waiting, Private Anon."

>>47051829
Impregnate lolibabas

>>47051964
These blatant and transparent husband-trap scenarios please me.

>>47051965
They are not very fertile though

>>47051964
>Ever listening to a human woman with pointy ears.
No thanks. I'm on my way to get brutally raped by a centaur that's been intoxicated by a 1/4 teaspoon of alcohol

>>47051984
Mating press while shouting "GET PREGNANT" should do the trick

>>47051829
I really like what this guy is doing for C104, I think he's finally getting his grandma pregnant since he already violated all of her holes

>>47051990
>my 250lb ass mating pressing a lolibaba
That poor lady. Good thing monsters are durable.

>>47051994
Well it was about time, considering that he also fucked his greataunt and nephews in the ass too.

>>47051984
>pencil neck

>>47051994
I might be stupid, but what's C104. It's bothering me.

>>47052011
You can't ask a question like that on /jp/

>>47052014
I see. My bad..

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, prepare for monday, where you deal with tired office monsters that may just think that today is they day they pounce on you.

>>47051984
That sounds like a challenge, a very fun challenge

>>47052038
I will burn down the thread.
I will not remorse over it.

>>47052039
I am going to go and masturbate to the doujins again.
God I wish I had a lollibaba motherwife to impregnate...

>Hire sallymander mercenary for protection during travels
>She's uninterested in a weakling like me who can't fight
>She gets visibly annoyed with me at times and laments the lack of fighting
>Spend the next 4 months traveling together, using the same tent during the cold nights
>Even end up cuddling a couple times on the very cold nights
>Time comes for me to dismiss her from service since the traveling is done. and I can't pay her salary anymore
>She gets flustered and panicked
>"Y-you NEED me with you! You're too weak to go alone! You'll get hurt or even worse!"
>Insist that I can't pay anymore
>"Fine... I guess I have no choice but to you protect you without pay... just until I can make sure you'll be safe."
>She never thinks I'm safe, even a crimeless, modern town
>"A dog could break free from its chain and maul you to death!"
>She now insists that we remain in constant physical contact, so that she can assure I don't get snatched away."
>She now holds my hand or drapes herself over me to ensure I'm safe
Such is life with a salamander bodyguard I guess.

It was weird though, this past day, when she was draped over me earlier, she was panting heavily, her heart was racing, and her hands/claws were massaging me. I tried to ask her what was wrong, but I didn't get any reply, just some weird moaning. She probably had a tummy ache or something.

>>47052011
The 104th annual Comiket, where artists can show up and sell their comics.

>>47052118
Gotcha, thanks.

>>47051918
Give them daugthers to consume more of their time. Of course this could wind up with a situation of half sisters combining forces to bully their papa.

>>47052109
You're going to have a salamander wife in a while
Congratulations

>>47051918
They don't look like they're fighting man they look like they're about to start making out and then begin tribbing.

>>47052167
Oh no, I don't think she'd do that. After all, I can't fight or challenge her anyway, and sallymanders only want guys who can give them a good fight. I mean, I appreciate her and all, but I have zero interest in fighting and will never fight. She knows that.

>>47052109
with salamanders its always either
>my WARRIOR husband once DEFEATED me in a BARE-KNUCKLE judo match atop a MOSS-SLICK STONE in the eddies of the YELLOW RIVER. all of his limbs were broken in four places when i fell into the river but it was a fair victory. we spend all day every day beating the shit out of each other just to relive that glorious romantic moment. we don't have sex. we don't need it.
or
>I've only known this little nerd for four months but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in the room and then myself

>>47051833
I'm terribly weak to satyros titties, so in my case she wouldn't need to even get me drunk in order to take advantage of me. Just sh

I was walking home other day in St. Petersberg, and I see guy walking down street, he have these two Kikimora hugging him from both side and he was laughing and smiling, but it not sounded fake to me. It made me feel disgusted, how you go around being dumb hedonist like that in public? Why you be happy just because have girl? Life is not better just because have a girl, there still is nothing to look forward to, money will still be hard to come by and getting harder to come by, food is all shit and good luck finding much food. When not being worked to death or owing the debt to mafia, day off best spent drinking vodka until you are out like a light. Hedonists are the worst, they like to pretend that life is good. I work for abusive Wight company owner and cannot get any girls, then go home to drink sorrows. Life is not good....

>>47052205
>we don't have sex. we don't need it
Not many people know this, but a salamander can be impregnated by slugging her really hard in the solar plexus.

>>47052241
>t. has never rawdogged his hellhound wife on a pile of stale hamburger buns behind carl's jr at 3am

>>47052241
Even in a Monster Girl filled world eastern europe still can't be happy man.

How do I make a dragon happy like this?

>>47052261
By turning the Blades into draugr.

>>47052177
Checked. It is difficult to know with lizards. At first she claims to only be interested in fighting men, but inevitably some wacky hijinks will happen and you’ll be spammed with
>”I showed you my honor pls respond.”

excuse me, where are the wurms?

>>47052241
>2 kikimoras
That sounds like the sort of bastard who needs to bump into a man wearing an expensive badger coat and take stock of his life!

>>47052333
this wurm has a bracing command of 20th century surrealist painters. what a clever reference!

>>47052241
>>47052334
>Some guys get 2 kikimoras
>I get 0 and no monster wife at all
It's just not fair. I really want a kiki wife. I feel like I've been cucked.

>>47052333

>>47052368
>French
Oh no! She's retarded!

>>47052377

>>47052368
High art

>>47052241
Russians get the Flayer

>>47052477
Why, poor chap need a gentle maiden, not an eldritch abomination

kitties with titties

>>47052482
Flayer can make you happy though, embrace Flayer right now.

>>47052493
No, the body horror part is a big no
>>47052486
This, instead, is GREAT

>>47052486
kitties with big titties

I like fregs

>>47052562
kitties with big titties

>>47052482
Eldritch abominations are fine too

>>47052652
hag saggers...

>>47052596
I bet cheshy milk tastes like sweet tarts.

>>47052670
>sweet tarts
What's that?

>>47052674
it's kind of sweet and tart and has a slightly chalky taste.

I told Miss Haku that math is gay and she sent me to an alternate reality where pi is exactly 3. Worst detention ever.

>>47052699
Sound weird, you shouldn't feed your kot with sweets anyway