/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Sex with Dark Mages

>farming centaurs

>>46817716
She looks badass--has anyone else ever done any art of a greenworm?

I'm going to flush the encyclopedia down the toilet page by page.
That'll show those mean old monsters.
No, if it blocks and floods I will not call succplumber

>>46817847
Miss Cyclops is going to be *unhappy* about being called in to unfuck your pipes after doing something that catastrophically stupid.

You feel your Monster daughter is now old enough to be trusted being left at home all alone and so decide to let her have the house to herself for the day while you and your Mamono wife go out on a date just like the good old days.

While you both are gone, a generic horror slasher masked with a balaclava clad in a black jacket wielding a crowbar decides to pay your house a visit that night because his "lonely teenager" senses are going off and now he's breaking in quietly and is going to try making your little girl a statistic.

Do you think your daughter would survive?

>>46817971
Anon, monsters are stronger than humans.
If he's lucky, all he gets is a dislocated collarbone as she flings him back out the window he crawled through.

>>46817971
>Lil Miss Chesh spends the whole time toying with him.
>He's been driven nuts by her bullshit by the time we get home.
>She's also pretty tuckered out from all her fuckery.
>Her mother and I nod, and I pick up my little kitten to take to bed while her mother...
>Gives the would-be-murderer her toothiest grin.
>Three days later, a sleep-deprived, crazed man turns himself in.
>Swears my wife is staring at him behind every mirror and in every open window.
She probably is.

>>46818018
Yeah but horror slashers are always stronger than normal humans too so he has a buff. The only downside to this buff is he tends to do stupid things more often.

>>46817971
>Eel daughter
Poor guy gets the Home Alone treatment, but it's all slime and Legos. I'm still hosing him down and kicking his ass before I call the cops.

>>46817971
Hellpup calls me in distress telling me she needs an ambulance
I ask what she did and how hurt she was
Hellpup shakes her head and stresses that it wasn't her who got hurt, just the man she raped hard right now, his bones are broken

>>46817955
she's going to be even more unhappy when she finds a flushed condom down there

>>46818063
>Heckpup married to a slasher villain
She can fix him. If anyone can, it's her.

>>46817971
He should have thought twice before breaking into a house with a tiger.
>>46818041
>The only downside to this buff is he tends to do stupid things more often.
That works in favor of monster daughteru going with the Home Alone angle.

If a Monster ever sees your tiny penis, she will make fun of it anon, you know that right?

>>46817716

>>46818145
... Can she threaten to step on it? While wearing heels?
Can she make eye contact with me while she says it?

>>46818145
I like to imagine being teased by a Troll because her large hand would make my cock look tiny.

>>46818093
Yeah, I feel like all scenarios for this end up as either:
>Home Alone style shenanigans
>"Rape time!"
Which, I mean, it was a PG movie. Maybe IRL Kevin McCallister was a prepubescent RAPE MACHINE and it just didn't make the final cut. So maybe there's just the one scenario.

>>46817971
>Baphomet daughter
Yeah she'd have no problems.

>>46818357
What if the slasher put all her favorite candies and sweets on a high shelf?

>>46817716
Mother's day is almost over! Have you told your wife you wish she was your mom yet?

>>46818377
Megamorphosis and levitation

>>46818384
I would if I had one. Who doesn't want a loving, caring spider mommy?

>>46818145
That's... That's not true...

>>46817971
>Married a Familiar
>Ensure my children are well versed in magic from an early age, including combat magic. I know it's of questionably legality, but it's like teaching a child that guns aren't toys. Magic isn't either.
>Wards get triggered anyway, Mother Familiar and I teleport home to see the crook half frozen from a cone of cold.
>Consider whether I want to hand him to the Hellhound policewoman or that nasty Dark Elf Witch in my local sabbath that's been looking for a plaything.

>Go to park
>A train pulls up at the stop
>Out of two cars floods out nothing but shirohebis
>Over 30 shirohebis in total
>They're all here in town looking for their true love

>>46818397
>have microdick
>really looking forward to incubizing so I can get fix that problem
>hook up with a dark mage, go the full nine yards
>freaky black-magic type sex
>get totally inundated with mamono mana, incubize overnight
>wake up
>one foot shorter in height
>dick is the same size
goddamn fucking pedophile women

>>46818502
Just look at the ground. If you don't make eye contact, they can't fall in love with you

>>46818502
what if you got on that car before they got to their destination?

>>46818502
>secretly yell out "Wow, I want to marry that hebi!"
>escape while the station descends into chaos as the hebis riot while looking for the voice and fighting each other
dumb sneks

>>46818523
Still dangerous, you could bump into them. You could be wearing the same color as one of them. You could have the same phone as one of them. There are still so many ways that one of them could see you as their fated lover.

>>46818525
One of them would likely have claimed you. Their might be some others upset or disappointed, but they all want monogamous relationships and aren't going to attempt to muscle in on the first one to claim you.

>>46818527
>One of the clever hebis slips away from the fighting
>You don't even notice her slip away
>Just as you think you're safe enough to stop for a breather from your escape, a white, serpentine tail wraps around your waist

>>46818523
>anon thinks that acting all cute, shy and nervous in public is going to save him from being snexed by an assertive snake lady
laughable

>>46818502
This is why you have many friends to immediately sacrifice and abandon at first cause.
Failing that this is also why you should have an escape route everywhere.
>>46818527
>believing the horde will not find you
>soon will up in a lamia mating ball
You are not very bright anon.

>>46818543
>coat over head
>standing (do NOT lie on the ground)
>motionless to avoid bumping into hebis
>on your phone so they can't peek under the coat
>snacks in coat pocket (should be home made if possible to avoid any attempts to feed you their cooking)
>earbuds on to drown out hebi babble they may sling at you
Congratulations, you're ready to live another snake-free day.

Thankfully loli hebis aren't real or I'd be in trouble

>>46818574
quicksilver pls go

>>46818559
>lay there for a day
>figure enough time has passed so you look up
>surrounded by smug looking hebis
>hebi'd on the spot

>>46818559
>Coat is same color as theirs
>Same type of phone
You've minimized your risk, but there's still a good chance you may be claimed!

>>46818554
I doubt many people will have 30 friends casually with them to sacrifice at any given time.
Be weary of planning escape routes. They've very capable at out-pacing you or slipping through tight spaces to reach your position. You must be prepared.

>>46818582
Lying on the ground motionless for more than an hour in MGC is considered a sign of duress. Monsters are not only allowed to take you home to check your vitals, they're legally obligated to under the demon mayor's new good Samaritan act. As soon as your back hits the dirt, the countdown starts.

Imagine
A Yandere Bicorn

>>46818585
>hebi exploits a vulnerability in your Bluetooth connection to gain access to your phone
>opens your front cam and starts a facetime call with you
>starts going through your photos and deleting any pictures of other monsters you have saved while she starts talking about how to move your stuff into her place

>>46818603
>She preplanned a harem for you full of yanderes like herself
>You get zero say into who joins the harem
>It's the minimum harem size to satisfy a bicorn

>>46818574
I wish I had a childhood friend hebi
Imagine her tying you to a chair to claim you (with poor knots so you escape) or trying to look fierce at girls that want to play with you (but ends up looking cute so you hug her)

>>46818613
I really want to see what a yandere harem looks like

Is a fox with big fluffy tai(s) and cute ears too much to ask for?

>>46818697
yes
foxes are evil and not cute

>>46818697
it's hard to have just 1, for some reason they multiply

>>46818713
Do these girls look evil to you? Are they not cute?

Local vampire takes a vacation in the dessert kingdoms.

>>46818760
>Dessert
That must be why they look delicious

>>46818754
very evil and very not cute
i bet they trick poor anons as often as they breathe

>>46818768
All that chocolate is going to their hips

>>46818768
God damnit all. Why must I screw up my spelling. Well even in this kingdom she will be the sweetest thing there.

>>46818815
Really? I spell it that way entirely on purpose

>>46817971
She's a clown, therefore she herself is something of a horror character.
She'll be fine.

>>46818638
Yan Cornbuyer delivers an emotionless harem
>subservient Kiki who only 'cleans' Mastah because its her duty
>Automaton
>Alice who instantly resets and forgets
>Haku who is only 'doing it for research'
>Bratty Damph who is only doing it to spite her parents
So Yan Bicorn is the only one who expresses love and affection to her Anon

Goodnight Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, beware Salamanders that got into a certain genre of fiction.
Its how you end up running into one of those lizards with a cowboy hat, six shooter, and katana.

>>46818894
>Its how you end up running into one of those lizards with a cowboy hat, six shooter, and katana.
The weeb ones bring out the gunblades straight of final fantasy or something

>>46818892
A lot of FFM where Anon is pounding the Automaton or the Kiki with his Bicorn waifu behind him hugging, caressing, wrapping around Anon, neckbiting, cupping the balls etc, getting off on the scene as if it was only her and Anon.
Haku sitting in the cuckchair watching and noting down every detail 'for research purposes' of course.

>>46818768
many such cases

>>46818933
why do elves dress like sluts?

>>46818918
Listen, Samurai westerns are great.

>>46818920
Breasts are for something to play with mid-sex not something to have sex with

>>46818933
This is why you should always refuse envoys from the elves

>>46818935
it's traditional
the clothes stay the same size but the elves got bigger

>>46818935
It's their culture

>>46818943
>the clothes stay the same size but the elves got bigger
Should have never imported burgers to the elves, should have left them to eat twigs and leafs

>>46818942
but diplomacy

>>46818974
her outfit looks dumb, im gonna buy her a sundress to wear

I'm going to work, I don't have any smug chesh to hold me back in bed. Pain.

I feel like bicorns would give diminishing returns if you kept adding them to your harem.

Bicorn 1 gives you 5 additional girls, not including herself. Bicorn 2 is one of these 5.
>Harem size: 6
Bicorn 2 gives you 4 additional girls. Bicorn 3 is one of these 4.
>Harem size: 10
Bicorn 3 gives you 3 additional girls. Bicorn 4 is one of these 3.
>Harem size: 13
Bicorn 4 gives you 2 additional girls. Bicorn 5 is one of these 2.
>Harem size: 15
Bicorn 5 gives you 1 additional girl. Bicorn 6 is the 1 girl.
>Harem size: 16
Bicorn 6 cannot add any additional girls. So if you want variety, the additional girl given by Bicorn 5 should be neither be a bicorn nor a unicorn.**


**Any unicorns added would just be turned into bicorns as per the MGE canon and would count towards the bicorn count.

>>46818980
I mean she's oiled her skin, it's clearly meant to be dumb on purpose like a reverse bunny suit

>>46818980
we need to go dumber

>>46818974
Diplomacy is not worth letting young princes get seduced by knife ears

>>46819009
>>46819024
this is why monsters need anon, they cant dress themselves
they are going to wear a long skirt and tasteful sweater. if they get uppity, they will get a funny shirt

>>46819032
they're willing to wear a shirt if you leave one unguarded

>>46819051
>leave one unguarded
This is why you lock your drawers, they will take everything if not

>>46818995
Ms.Haku's Treatise on Geometric Progressiveness.
>waifu one Bicorn (or wannabe slutty Unicorn)
>harem 5 Unicorns
>cuck&black them all with each other, and the 1stWaifu
>each new Bicorn gathers in a harem of 5 other random mamonos
Even if none of the 3rd-tier waifus are Corns, Anon now has a Harem of 25 mamonos and 6 bicorns.
If any 3rdwaifus are Corns, a new level of 4thwaifus can be added.
Its like MLM for becoming an Incubus faster and absorbing the population of otherwise single mamonos.
This can be repeated almost indefinitely until the supply of Corns runs out or the Portals fully open and harems for unmarried mamonos are needed less.

Click it

Gape it

>>46818523
rookie mistake, they would think you are sad and would not help themselves to cheer you up. And then they realise you are helpless without them.

ded

>wear comfy oversized sweater while at home
>its getting warmer so sometimes I sweat a little in it
>decide to swap it out for another
>the sweaty one goes missing before I can put it in the wash

WHERE

>>46819288
Gremlins stole it

>>46819288
the hag next door
its a elite dungeon if you dare to get it back

>>46819301
But she has plenty of huge sweaters!
Why would she take mine, I could only afford 2!

>>46819304
You have to go to find out
You can find her huffing it in her bedroom

>>46819312
What a pervert!
I better report her to the authorities!

Which God do I have to worship to get into the best afterlife?

>>46819321
>shares a sniff with the officers
>case dropped
Be thankful the cops didn't toss you into that hag den before gobbling you up

>>46819331
Worship Gaia and become one with the Earth. From red clay was man made

>>46819304
you'll have more once the two of you start sharing

>>46819369
Wait, what happened to the angel? Isn't there supposed to be an angel?

>>46819369
I will not hold hands with cupids.
I will, however, haldly hold cupid butt. That nice, tight cupid butt...

>>46819343
But I don't want to share!
Those are my sweaters!

>>46819410
She is on vacation

>>46819415
shut up and get in

>>46819342
I'd rather not

>>46819342
earth sex NOW

>>46818509
it's good that your wife likes you the way you are, i guess

>>46819424
NOOOOOOOOOO

>>46819428
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

>>46819441
Hope you like huffing hag boob sweat, nerd

>>46819440
I want to see how Dark mages behave after they become parents and anon starts acting as a responsible father

>>46819466
the way I see it, it's either:
- anon is their 'big brother' who still gets treated like a little kid by his wife but has authority over his kids
- anon is a normal adult in front of his kids, his wife's shotacon fetish is only indulged in private
- anon keeps his shota body and just acts exactly like a regular father anyway

>>46819445
this image is so hot. every time a single holst looks at you this is what she's thinking

I was nice to her literally a single time (helped her get her skateboard she somehow got stuck in a tree down) and now she follows me around everywhere like this and calls herself my girlfriend even, much to my consternation. She's almost ten years younger than me, can't she go bother the guys from her high school and leave me alone? I'm in my thirties, people are gonna think I'm a weirdo! I want a mature lady in my life damnit, not a shitty zoomer....

>Grab skateboard
>Grab boombox
>Grab greatest hits burned CD with every song downloaded from Limewire
>Show up to MGC skatepark
>Begin blasting Goldfinger
>Immediately wipe out on my drop in
>Drown in goth hag pussy who pretend to be younger than they are

>>46819657
Have you practiced writing such vomit-inducing shit, or does it come to you naturally due to your profound retardation?

>>46819664
What did anon mean by this

>I assure you Ms. Newt you wearing casual shirt and jeans is a key part of my evil plan

>>46819685
>yes my minion this fancy steak dinner we're having is a vital part of my villainous plan

>>46819669
Some turbosperg assumes that anyone writing about Pyrows is his arch-nemesis strawman he came up with.
I have no clue where this came from, but you shouldn't try to understand a madman, lest you want to share his madness. Just ask shoggy instead, much safer.

>New hakutaku teacher
>Write on the board
>Vaccis eunt domus
>Laugh as she seethes about how wrong it is

Would you a conflict based mamono setting?

>>46819815

>>46818502
Solution is simple, simply put on my "certified Lolicon" shirt and walk without fear

>>46819815
No it always sucks ass. Case in point:
>Spacebattles
The only conflict setting I would approve of is Not!Alexander The Great conquering the world to fulfill his dream of an all queen harem with his loyal bicorn steed at his side. And even then I don’t care about the battles only the attitudes and reaction of the proud haughty empresses and queens being forced into his harem and the shenanigans that come with it

>46819815
Blue Archive and Battllefield, two of my favorite /jp/ - Otaku Culture topics!
Also regular girls with cosplay ears gear, perfect for the Monster Girl Thread!

>>46819731
Or maybe it's just that your post was incredibly low quality on it's own.

>>46819879
what's so low quality about the post? You're avoiding the question, your wife is gonna be suspicious of you if you keep this act up

>>46819815
ace combat tier nonsense against an order rump state
nobody actually dies but it is all rather melodramatic

So you are huge hebi fan huh? Name 5 hebis then

>>46819914
>Not going Project Wingman
>Where Anon and his wizzo papillon piss off a sore loser order hotshot enough that he dark mana nukes California

>>46819932
>5 hebis
>they are all the same
>hebi hebi!

>>46819932
Heby, Heba, hebo, Marie-Antoinette, hebu
>Conflict?
Yes but demon silver, Ironbeast did it right in my opinion.

>>46819932
Easy: hebi with the cute eyes, hebi with the really long hair, hebi with the short hair, hebi with the tan, goth hebi

>>46819947
>hydra hebi

>>46819947
Hebi hivemind

>>46819839
It's extremely annoying seeing any MGE story that's just your run of the mill grimdark setting

>>46819962
>>46819964
hebi

You remembered to lock your doors and windows, right anon?

>>46819914
>>46819941
"You're a slave to history. Even after the Calamity. you and your ilk fight against the only order that can guarantee the safety of your people... You solely are responsible for this."

"What do yo have to show for yourself, Anon? Blood? Gold? A broken throne? I will bury you so completely, the world will turn over a thousand times before your body is dug up."

"You can't run, you can't hide! You made this decision long ago! You can't back out of this outcome!"

"I am Polovean! You think I take joy in fighting in my homeland!? Fighting my own people!? If you never showed up, I never would have lost everything I have."

"I should have defeated you when I had the chance. Just think! How many have you felled, Anon!?"

"If I had beaten you over Dark Rock, this war would have been over by now. It was a mistake. I intend to correct that. You know, they used to call me obsessed over you. Now, they call me their solution."

"Its me and you now. No distractions. No wingmen or comic relief side-characters. No war. Just me and you, whoever wins is the best fighter. Every safety is coming off. No second chances."

"Anon. You use the name of a dead celebrity, but what do you have fame over? The irrelevant? To be edgy and contrarian? The monstergirls and our demon lord is fighting for peace and love in this world and you are denying so many people and lives of that!"

"The people of the lands afflicted by this war and you and your ilk's actions. Do you know what you have taken from them?! Their homes! And for what!?!? To secede from the world, to remain 'pure' and 'human!?' What? You think you can fight this war again in fifty years time as you and your ilk eventually grow old, withered and decrepit!? Do you really think History will see it your way? You don't even care why you're here!"

"How does it feel to not have a country? To not have borders to define yourself against the world? How does it feel to not have ANY loved ones!?"

"Monstergirl-kind and our demon lord is building a new reality for mankind to be in peace and be loved! Our chance to be in a prosperous loving world! And this is how you've dealt with it!?!?"

"This is my Home! Here we are, fighting for Polove's Soul. This is the deal you made, right!?"

"What happens when you shoot me down!? Can you even think!? What will you return to!? Who will be your special girl or loving wife you will return to!? Where will you go!? We all know how this ends! So go ahead, shoot me down and see what happens to this world! Either way, your life ends today!"

"The rest of the New World and New Reality and even the demon lord herself will try to forget about you, but I won't! This is for the good of the world! I WILL DEFEAT YOU!"

>>46820058
Chuuni gets get bonked on the head

>>46819932
Shirohebi
Murasakihebi
Akahebi
Midorihebi
Mofuhebi

>>46820017
Locked, barricaded, escape tunnel dug and already south of the border.

>>46820072
So you implying MGE Monarch plaps Crimson 1 dragoness mamono making her a pregnant but mellows her down to a happy and soon-to-be mother? Also...

>>46819941
>>Not going Project Wingman
>>Where Anon and his wizzo papillon
What makes you think or say Prez would be a Papillon? Is it wrong to imagine Prez as a shorter (and cuter) than usual Lizardwoman pilot?

>knock down miss ryu
>she wakes up with ex dragon punch
>lose
Wow I was blocking bugged mamono mechanics dood

>>46820099
Prez is a papillon purely be because Anon’s callsign is Monarch and he really likes butterflies so he’d never pass up the chance to fly with one. Also they smell good :)

>Dragonia tour guide lets you ride her
>get so excited about riding a dragon that you forget about monster girl sex for the rest of the day
>meanwhile your tour guide is starting to get annoyed with you
>"I finally meet a human and all he wants to do is sit on my back all day"

>>46820154
Would she like a piggyback ride in return?

>46819815
Ban him.

>46814863
It got 400.

Anon really think he will be getting anything more than devil bug or belzebub

>>46820341
I'm not good enough for a Devil Bug.

>>46820341
I have a job, I'm mostly clean, my flat is mostly clean, I dislike bugs so yes I will get something else like a kiki

>>46820365
Actually only the trashiest and unkempt anons get kikis

>>46820373
I can't hire one through the maid academy?

>>46820365
>flat
Would you like a Polish or Albanian kiki guv’nor

>>46820382
Sorry we don't have kikis available now
Is shog OK?

>>46820387
Wut? Flat doesn't mean appartement ?
>>46820395
Can she turns into a werecat with fluff?

I will breed my belzebub wife and use all my hundreds of daughters to bring the apocalypse

>>46820387
>>46820395
Stop responding to this vermin

Guys, the Maid Academy isn't just Kikis and Shogs. Any mamono with the Heart of a Maid can apply and attend. Why, there's a rumor that one of the succs attending is secretly a lilim!

>>46820479
I want, nay, I NEED a kunoichi maid.

Are drunk goats lightweights or is their wine just that hard?

Wine gote milk....

could I trick a succ with miracle whip?

>>46820756
>Yes Ms. Succ I jizzed into this white plastic container
>Why is my cum so airy and buttery?
>I drink a lot of milk of course
>What? You wanna do a direct comparison?
>That’s unneeded Ms. Succ you already have my cum surely you don’t need mor-
1/10 trick

Hug your wife close to your chest while sleeping and make her addicted to your heartbeat. You're not doing it right unless she experiences withdrawal symptoms.

My post got transported into the shadow realm

>>46820867
>mousefag
Wherever he is I hope he’s happy

>>46820867
>Do that with kot
>It works
>But now I'm addicted to her purring
Ah

>>46821026
Should've known the post was typed by big meaty paws

>>46820341
Nah, I'd win.

>>46820756
Foodplay is how you get American sized monsters, and nobody wants that.

>>46821272
ha ha, yeah...

>>46821289
Unrealistic, not brown and ugly

I don't want a wife. I want a slave, an obedient one that will never disobey me, be happy to serve however I wish.

>>46821486
So you like femdom, frenchie.

>>46821486
what a bore

I'll take American jabberwock

>>46821500
I would love to see how you seethe if the portals opened and mamono mana gave me exactly what I want and I'm basically riding on my monster's back with a whip in hand and she's into it because mana makes her that way, and you can't do shit about it. It's okay, you'd soon forget anyway once you find a monster that will fulfill your wish and rocking you in a cradle.

>>46820341
As long as she loves me

>>46821561
You are getting AGRESSIVELY french here for no reason, mr. femdom lover.

>>46821500
Nah, slavery is bad. This >>46821486 is """"cool"""" on paper but devoid of love and affection, I despise it as much as femdom
I want a traditional nuclear family and some maledom during sex.

Dom this, dom that. Switch is true king.

>>46821569
You are mad because you know the series works this way and you wish it didn't. You get so mad about this you start projecting and bring up hellhounds and futa, sometimes both out of nowhere, people should be more worried about you than me. Too bad for you MGE will let me maledom as much as I want hon hon hon hon hon :^)

Do not hate the man
Pity him, for the curse of being french is truly the worst punishment god can inflict upon mortal men
He suffers so we don't have to
Also post fat kots

>>46821587
Kek, doesn't sound like the frog, try harder

>>46821587
What the fuck are you even babbling about? And do you get so utterly mindbroken by someone calling you french?

>>46821586
I just want to grill for god's sake.

>>46821610
That's because I'm not the frog, I'm just shitposting.

>>46810207
Do anyone have this card for Tavern AI?
Need mon chan

>>46821594
It's not that bad, we eat good food and have a wide variety of drinks.
Fat kot are made to be turned into Fit kot

>>46821650
False, fat kots are for being lazy
And milking

Lewding the friends should be outlawed.

What happens if I accept the danukis proposal?
I need the money to keep buying rocks for my rock collection.

>>46821670
With a childhood friend pyrow you have no choice but to lewd her. The game was over before it even begun, so to speak.

I hate the fr*g, worse cunt than Mick

>>46821670
friends have needs too

>>46821670
theres no point stopping it now, they've been lewded to the extremes.

>>46821725
>>46821734
Cerulean posts.
https://litter.catbox.moe/sanrc5.jpg

Friends...?
This is anon's best friend.

>>46821797
... too many friends.

>>46821797
Tall fox lady booba...

>>46821670
You don't get to bring friends

see fren
hug fren

>>46821869
Sack crepe blue

>"FRIEND?"

Fuck your bro.

>>46821927
Eww, no. I'd rather fuck my sister

I’d rather be adopted and cuddle with my !momster

I want to have a wholesome relationship with a Hellhound and pet her and give her fluffy hugs and grill her tasty treats and not get raped by her in return. Surely if I treat a Hellhound nice and call her a good girl she won't rape me.

>>46822026
Yeah. Sure.

>>46822026
might just get the elusive heckhound ASKING you to mate with her.

What sounds does a hellhound make upon seeing (and smelling) the guy she’s about to make her husband?

>>46822154
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7KYPQQH5Eo

>>46822154
if they dont have a visual on him, but caught his scent
>loud moans as they sit there enjoying the intoxicating smell for a few seconds.
if they see him before smelling him.
>a slight chuckle before pouncing.

I'm going to go outside and proclaim loudly "Wow, I really love the amazon press position."

What's the first mamono that will appear to attack me?

>>46822154
Guttural pre rape yawps

When dragons get uppity, remind them of the time a rata holding a citrus fruit won a world tournament

>>46822255
>I really love the amazon
What do you think, retard?

>>46822255
Kikimora

>>46822255
Jubjub or Baphomet

Buffspider

>>46822289
Double ew.

What's worse
A hellhound acting like a kikimora
or a kikimora acting like a hellhound?

Its getting too hot again, need a tall zombie dragon that can encase me in cool wings so I can actually sleep without having loud fans on

I will physically abuse anf mistreat hebi since she will love me anyway

What if pyrow, but smart?

What if the gaijin claps when he shouldn't while praying in the fox temple?

>>46822362
that's the gang leader. she knows where to find nerds, cause she can think like a nerd.

>>46822404
do americlaps really?

>>46822404
>Dumb anon sitting in the middle of a nice shrine with a bunch of foxes of different sizes and tail counts and colours
>The 9 tailed one at the front finishes her speech
>He doesn't know what she said, but it sounded cool and important
>While every other fox bows their head in silent respect, he starts to clap like an idiot
>Beaming and grinning, even takes a picture (with flash on) of the 9 tailed fox

>>46822324
I can't think of downsides for either of these.

>>46822408
>cause she can think like a nerd.
She may be book dumb, but she can read people so well she can actually pull off the
>Your next line is gonna be
trick reliably

>>46819663
Need big titty goth exhausted businesswoman GF

>>46821970
Ahem.

ded hours

>>46822625
>undead sith that start off almost hairless and get more of their fur back the more you fuck them.

Remember when the mods are actually nuking the off topic spam earlier last week?

>>46820600
Chateau Romani

>>46822324
>hellhound acting like a kikimora
Best hellhound
>or a kikimora acting like a hellhound?
Horrible

>>46822686
Mods are only interested in deleting posts that make fun of them.

>>46821927
Made for mating pressing and impregnating

>>46821900
Best friends

>>46822709
Sometime they protect the frog when the anti-frog go too hard on him. Weirdly Cait sith shitposts disappear when it happens

>>46822324
>a kikimora acting like a hellhound
I'm intrigued...

Remember your hellhound daughters will try to dominate and rape you too

>>46822835
You're the maid and you will get fucked in the ass by the huge kiki

Me when femdom

Me when comfydom

me when boredom

>>46823003
What would comfydom with a pyrow look like?

>>46822851
I can roll up a newspaper. Go ahead, pup. Make my day.

>>46818629
Not the biggest white snake fan but they would make top tier childhood friends

I want not for a wench to be tied down to, I wish only to go on Knightly adventures for all the rest of my life! A Knight like myself cannot be forced to betroth, I will simply ride away into the sun as I always have.

Designed for hunting human men

>>46823097
Don't do it anon. If you fuck up your liver you'll miss the portals opening.

hug the sluge

>>46823270
My heart rejoices at her successful quest to reach papa

How would you choose one monstergirl to be your wife? I'm pretty indecisive so haven't been able to just pick one.
On one hand automatons because cute kuudere robot wife. On the other hand i recently thought i wonder what kissing a vamp is like and now i can't get the thought of licking her fangs out of my head. Not to mention manticore because tail seggs. I can't choose bros

>>46823251
Lol

>>46823310
>How would you choose one monstergirl to be your wife?
Easy. There's one that ticks so many damn boxes at once that no one girl comes even close to her for me.

Vampire not so smug when found snacking on the bag of blood meal.

>>46823310
I don't. Truth is there are a lot of dynamics and girls i could fall deeply in love with and trying to optimize it to get some kind of objectively best choice is soulless. I'm not much of a picky guy, as long as she loves me just as much as i love her. I definitely have favourites, but not really one i can say is objectively best.

>>46822686
This morning someone did their job and deleted a bunch of WHFaggot's off-topic shitposts, guess it depends on who answers the reports at the given time

number 15 the bogie
the last thing you want to see in mirror is 7+ ft tall bogie with rapeface
but turns out its just might what you get

>>46823419
that boy has got a one way ticket to the insides of that clowns suit, entrapped against her bare white clown cleavage

>>46823419
I don't think bogies have a rape face. I find their smiles to be rather charming, personally.

>>46823310
You pick the fetish you like. For example.
>manticore has a tail.
>anubis is autistic
>cait sith is smug and furry
It's not like profile art or even the description really matter since saying you like girl X is only useful as a rough indictator for your collection of fetishes.

Tallest fairy?

>>46821670
I wanna help the extinct species beastgirls repopulate and recover all the way up to Least Concern

>Work as a pilot for a rental helicopter business
>Mostly provide short trips and air tours for the rich
>Dick hurts from monsters constantly trying to join the mile high club by groping the pilot
>Made the company wealthier just through old wealthy mamano taking air tours just to try to seduce the pilot

>>46823624
What about her?

>>46823682
How is she so big?
Aren't fairies supposed to be small?

>>46823691
It's an illusion.

>>46823691
She drank lots of milk and ate veggies like dad told her.

>>46823682
Shrank with fairy magic and put inside this titanias tits

>>46823120
she invites you to games night, you sit down on the couch then she sits on your lap, then her other pyrow friends walk out and sit next to you, their soft bodies pressing into you, almost distracting from the game. One walks behind the couch and wraps her arms around you, her large, pillowy chest resting on your nech and shoulders and upper back, wordlessly begging you to lie your head back and relax on her instead
and when you still manage to focus and win a difficult encounter, they'll cheer for you and the group hug, with the kiss by the original Pyrow friend who invited you, it feels like you're gonna melt now
and you look at the clock and see that the night is only just starting, like that singer once said, "If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be, beautifu~ul"

>>46823770
>resting on your nech
meant to say "neck"
serves me right trying to write with only one hand and half my blood not present in the cerebral cortex

>>46823310
either get the first one i find from my "yes" list, or go the harem route (unlikely but hey, never say never)

>>46823781
>half my blood not present in the cerebral cortex
As opposed to when half of your blood is in your cerebral cortex?

I hope you like Egyptian Revival architecture anon because you're going to be seeing a lot of it

>>46823310
I actually don't think it's that important of a question. I'd be perfectly fine with a number of monsters and you'll be happy no matter what. At the same time, there will be those lingering "what if" doubts no matter what as well unless you're laser focused on one type as you're clearly not. Me, I'd just choose an eel if I had reason to believe I'd be able to live somewhere appropriate for her and comfortable for me or a succ otherwise. I'm a simple man.

>>46823900
>you'll be happy no matter what.
Even with a sandworm?

>>46823895
Does that include Art Deco?

>>46823895
I mostly stare at a screen anyway

>>46823842
it was a joke about how the penis gets erect and takes blood away from circulation, which in turn lowers the supply of oxygen to the brain
it wasnt a funny joke because, again, it was written while the penis was erect and so on
hakutaku-san please forgive me

>>46823895
I love this pharaoh
>The smug superiority in her eyes
>That dick sucking grin
>Her giant tits and wide hips
>That little bit of chub on her belly

>>46823997
>hakutaku-san please forgive me
PLAP PLAP PLAP
GET EDUCATED GET EDUCATED GET EDUCATED

You've thrown of the empress's groove

Help

>>46824021
Do you think the tail can... digest?

>>46824018
If I offer to scrub her scales will she let me go? Last time miss harpy was too busy eating lunch to catch me.

>>46824018
Oh well, into the crocodile pit I go

>>46824047
Someone needs to inform the Empress that crocodile pits are not OSHA compliant.

Imagine walking behind a pear loli Kejourou, and the swaying curtain of long black hair keeps parting slightly and giving you seductive glimpses at the outlines of her big breedable butt showing clearly through the kimono.

Is bastet a cat taur.

>>46823770
Would a pile of pyrows be called a pyre?

>>46824131
Either way it would be hot.

>>46824072
>boob hat
Looks pretty OSHA compliant to me.

It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs

>>46824047
Would a croc have a Cajun or Aussie accent?

mud pussy

>>46824184
>The lights are not all on upstairs
They are, but nobody is home.

>>46823770
Honestly if even one pyrow snuggled to me I would melt
Pyrows are comfy

>>46824184
I understood that reference

If I made another mge model I think I would make either cheshire or demon.

>>46823941
>Even with a sandworm?
Setting rules say you won't end up with a monster you can't at least grow to love, but the scenario in question lets us straight up choose. Don't actively try to make yourself unhappy and you're golden. As always, really.

Just stay on capybara.

>>46824210
You can grow to love anything if it rapes enough mamono mana into you.

>>46824189
Depends on the species
from what I understand, Crocs are all from oceania, while Gators and Caimans are their North and South American cousins respectively
but I might be very wrong though

>>46824218
forgot pic

>>46823941
i would like being with a sandworm
especially if I could bring a laptop with me but even if not then just leaving all the tough human life behind and retreating under the dunes is cool with me

>>46824214
even if i was a little grumbly about it i'd warm up when the rapechildren start being born

>>46824148
Just have to make sure not to get buried under the pyrows for several times in a row

>>46824212
That place has a lot of mge too. And the same memes. It's probably the same posters.

>>46824212
Fuck off he belongs on /vg/, I don't want to see more of him there.

>>46824263
The wonderland Baphos are quite meaty

>>46824218
Not quite. Crocodiles exist in central and insular america, africa and south and east asia. Alligators and caimans are mostly a florida+amazonas thing, and don't forget the gavial, which only lives in india.

>>46824248
Oh, so it's ok if it only happens once in a while?

>>46824358
>hello? you want fo roll wit me and do the needful, yes?

>>46824399
>Designated sexing stream

ded

>>46824543
ded deez nuts lmao

Look at that big tail.

>>46824543
Good

>>46824543
What monster girl do you want to strike down dead the most?

*belly gurgles*

Damn those hags and their giant milkers, I can't help but try to look away lest they sense blood in the water and pounce, why can't they at least cover up their massive cleavage and subtle chest stains? No sense of decency, it's like they can detect when and where to strike vulnerable men.

>>46820341
How do you think the bugs would feel if they heard that?

>>46824797
bugs don't have feelings

>>46824790
>He avoids looking at the pretty ladies
>Like a cute little shota
Buddy.

>>46824778
Flying to Wonderland just to sing "I Conquered All The Chippies" and "Who Ate All The Pies" at every Jabberwock I come across!

>>46824212
Capybara's an even bigger clusterfuck than /mon/ was so perfect fit for him.

>>46824819
I'm expertly looking at my phone at convinent times to feign ignorance and have no way been marked as an easy target by hags. Completely coincidental that an increasing number of older manamo have begun to appear in my daily life, must just be a small migration for the summer to warmer climates.

>>46824007
I like how she looks slightly evil despite her intimate leaning in "I'm interested" posture and close distance to the viewer. Maybe she has an apophis grandmother somewhere in her family circle

>>46823977
A mix between art deco and Egyptian Revival like the IRL 1930s is basically how I imagine a modern city run by a pharaoh would look

I will NOT move to the Pharoh town. I dont care how many anubi they send.

>>46824963
>he thinks he has a choice
lmao

>>46824543
>Half adopting, half employing a loli Ochimusha
>Watching your little bodyguard's meaty pale ass jiggle while she's training her swordsmanship
>Bathing together with the young Ochi after she insists on protecting you from ninjas, getting your back washed by her and helping her wash her long hair in return despite her protesting
>Inviting her into your bed and having her serve your cock with her body late into the night
>Watching your little bodyguard's meaty pale ass jiggle while plowing it from behind in lanternlight

>>46824963
If you won't move she'll simply come to you and buy up the entire town around you

There was a little spanish flea
a raping star she thought she'd be

The cat tail is going to pull on you.

How mainstream are monster girls nowadays, especially MGE?
Anon, your thoughts?

>>46818974
I believe it's spelled "butt diplomacy" sir

>>46825141
That's just ass kissing.

>>46824954
why is the pharaoh so cool?

I hate Danuki, I have the Danuki brain virus and no it doesn't involve their fucking breath.

>>46825051
>Anon gets gentrified by big tiddy desert girls
A fate worse than death, truly

>>46822453
>>46822404
This is why you should go for a Youko from the Mist Continent. They don't have these convoluted ceremonies in their day to day lives.

>>46825220
Her body has been room temperature for centuries, only ice queens are cooler.

>>46825249
>snake and pharaoh both want your body heat
no escape...

>>46825227
the cure is big nuki tail

>>46825249
Makes sense, Pharaoh and Ice Queen are both top tier

Pharaoh more like Scareoh.
As in she's so ugly she's scary.
it's an insult.
i am not an apophis.

>>46825227
Is Danuki breath different while they are fucking? Is it more sniffable?

>>46824224
>on vacation in Monstralia
>at the pub getting a cold beer since it's hot as fuck outside
>giant salt water croc comes in and calls you a soft cunt
>drinks a few liters of VB and informs you rather bluntly that Monstralia is too dangerous for a tourist like you and that she's taking you home

>>46825461
Bad end, mate. Shoulda told her yer a spiderfag.

>>46825461
>Oi, Charleen, where'd youz get that bloke?
>found 'im in the pub
>crikey, lucky he didn't get grabbed. you claimin 'im?
>reckon I will. don't see why I wouldn't
>top stuff, mate. let me know if he's got any brothers, yeah?

>>46825273
No do not. I don't want her to tell me my kintama are her most precious collateral.

>>46825461
Nuh-uh, I have a hat with forks in it, I'm immune.

when the mgs betrayed me they made a mistake

>>46825461
I don't understand what she's trying to say about drop bears and dingos

I would do horrific things to an anubis if she was in my bed, nude and vulnerable.

>>46825706
>"STOP IT!"
>"STOP IT NOW!"
"No," Anon says between mouthfuls of crackers.
>"You're getting crumbs everywhere!"
"They make sleep crunchier."

>>46825706
an Anubis has heard your plead and have made herself at home in your bed. problem is that she dosent look vulnerable at all. she is ripped, over 6 feet tall and have a piercing gaze that could make even a hellhound sink to the ground with floppy ears. still she lays there, awaiting your move.

bully succuviruses
>"so as I was saying. When I get moved into my automaton body I'll-"
>right click succuvirus midspeech
>"Eh? Wait...."
>scroll down to actions
>"No... Nononono not again!"
>click dance
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS DON'T YOU DARE"
>click macarena

>>46825746
Those guard anubi are getting desperate.

>>46825706
I would do lovely things to an anubis if she was in my bed, nude and vulnerable.

How do impress a tsundere dark elf so she’ll date me?

>>46825746
get in bed with her, put my face in her chest, pull up the blanket, and go to sleep with my new daki.