/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Ew this thread smells like saggy boobs and naphtalene

>>46743783

I took the hag pill a long long time ago

>>46743783
Absolutely, I love old women like Tewi.

>>46743783
Of course

>>46743783
Absolutely.

Of course, but only if there's an age gap of about a thousand years.

>>46743797
Bratty manwhore. You need to get HAGGED.

>>46743783
No, the older the woman, the more likely it is that the baby will be born retarded. I don't want my future child to become like me.

Why is Yukari being posted? She's 17.

>>46744307
I would never lose to loose hag puss-

>>46744669
>She's 17.
hundred.

>>46744844
Out of ten!

>>46743783
gohei stick hardening

sign me up

I'm so old that the "hags" are just ladies around my own age.

>>46743783
Mama...

>>46745198
gray haired ojii-san from lotus eaters is a /jp/sie!?

>>46744788
Oh no, what happened?

>>46743945
the perspective is all fucked

>>46745210
I want Junko to be my strict but loving momwife, with emphasis on the mom part.

>>46745232
Anon...the "hags" look like they are 30 at most...

I want mommy I want milk I want to be held I want to be comforted

>>46743783
Hag's have ruined my life . I cannot look at women my age anymore I yearn for the Christmas Cakes

>>46745372
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ArlLLg-s8cw&pp=ygUYdG91aG91IGkgd2FudCBtb21teSBtZW1l

When I went to the hag agency, they said they only had this one left. She looks kind of sketchy, though. Probably nothing to worry about.

>>46745815
That woman is a famous taoist sorceror. She's not that sketchy, really, but...did you know that taoists believe that men should ejaculate only seven times per year and that cunnilingus is the best form of sex because it doesn't waste the chi of either participant? I hope you like holding it in and eating pussy.

>>46745815
Could you forward their number ? I need their services

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!

>>46745839
>I hope you like holding it in and eating pussy
Correct. They really know how to matchmake at the hag agency, don't they?
>>46745878
You'll want to fill out an official application and leave it somewhere easily forgotten in your house. When it inevitably disappears, you'll know Yukari's taken your application away for review by the board.

>>46745916
Do you have the application format I could borrow ?
Any tips for the form ?

My name is Anon. Hag sex has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old...

I LOVE HAGS!! I LOVE HAGS SO FUCKING MUCH!!

>>46745317
I am a 30 year old geezer myself. The hagpill is worthless to me, as I would have no appeal to women who look my age.

>>46745929
The older ladies aren't that picky, anon, they'll probably take it if you just write "I WANNA MAKE BABIES WITH [insert older hu here]" on a post-it. It's a matter of faith in the hags.

>>46745978
Gaphag my beloved.

>>46745815
>>46745839
>>46745916
>he doesn't know that the whole "ejaculate only 7 times a year" thing is just a ruse they say to discourage all but the most enthusiastic hag lovers
Don't fall for misinformation online, Anons.

>>46746163
it's also to extend the man's lifespan
which is something seiga may not be prioritizing over qi harvesting

>>46745244
he died because of the horrible stench and droop folds from the dark hagina

>>46746163
>>46746176
Just switch the "7 times a year" thing from a yearly to a daily schedule. She has ways to replenish your energy, or at least keep you going after you expire.

>>46746225
Jesus Christ how horrifying.

Hags can't be trusted.

>>46746343
I trust the hags with my life, marital status, future of my bloodline, and soul!

>>46746358
I sure hope the hags you like aren't Yukari and Yuyuko.

>>46746419
I wanna drink with her

>>46746492
Why? Maybe you want to get a pure(!) young(!!) maiden(!!!) like her drunk so you can PUSH HER DOWN and TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER? Huh?

This hag is mine.

>>46746504
Will she approve of me being ‘Guya’s boyfriend?

Thank god my wife is not a hag. She's a young, urban woman and wears the freshest, coolest clothes as a proof

which hag would be the most fun to date?

>>46746557
Yuyuko. Easygoing, playful, social, slightly weird so she's interesting to talk with, always stocked on great food, great tits, and you can easily imagine being freaky and open to most stuff during intimacy Just seems like the best one to date.

*Also includes a free slave

>>46746557
That depends. Do you like (left to right):
Food? Gardening? Prostate stimulation? Taking care of needy women? Showering your girl with attention and devotion while you work devotedly as a househusband for your ambitious godwife? Shady pharmaceuticals? Drinking? Prayer?

>>46746503
It would be neat. I'm not sure I could outdrink her anyway since she's got a couple years drinking experience over me.

>>46746557
>Byakuren
Boring Buddhist stuff all day
>Eirin
Lab Rat Simulator
>Kanako
Do chores all day with Sanae
>Yukari
Has potential to be the most fun, but she might be too lazy to hangout with you.
>Yuuka
Gardening all day every day
>Yuyuko
As lazy as Yukari, but Yuyuko seems like the kind of fun, teasy woman that can tell stories and have flirty banter with.

>>46746557
Yukari seems like she gets up to some wacky shit, at least if she is willing to drag you along for her antics.

>>46746579
>Food?
>Prostate stimulation?
>Showering your girl with attention and devotion while you work devotedly as a househusband for your ambitious godwife?
I like all of these.

>>46746579
What if I'm the one that wants to be showered with attention and devotion?

>>46746635
Consider the Makai mama.

>>46746635
There is a hag for that too.

>>46746652
That's not a shower, that's a deluge.

>>46746606
>Yukari seems like she gets up to some wacky shit
true, she probably has some good stories too and she sleeps a lot so she could be low maintenance

>>46746624
You need to pick one, anon, it's not safe two-timing hags

>>46745488
Fortunately, that's a problem that resolves itself in a number of years.

>>46746652
Way too many risks. Imagine all those pent-up thoughts and emotions she had about her husband and son, pushed onto you. Could you take it?

>>46746714
Perhaps there's a critical mass of hags where I'm safe, like some kind of three stooges skit.

>>46746714
Holy FUCK I wish that were me. That contrast between the calm collected Eirin and the psycho Junko is so boner-inducing. I need these two women to fight for my affections NOW.

>>46746785

>>46746579
>Prostate stimulation
Stop.

>>46746635
Ran would actually do that.

>>46746845
would love to be pampered by ran

>>46746861
She'd give the best hugs and grooming sessions.

>>46746861
She's like a Venus flytrap, but you just melt into a neverending abyss of spoiled pampering instead of dying like a bug.

>>46746946
Futa/male artist so you're getting trapped a different way.

>>46746998
It's not like a dick would make her any worse at pampering, right?

>>46746579
I enjoy taking care of people so I'd probably pick kanako or yukari

That's fine. More zoomer girls for me.
>t. boomer

>>46746557
If I choose Yukari, can she gap me some items from the outside world? I'd love to own a P90 to show the Tengu and Kappa the superiority of Human tech over their crude imitations.

>>46747389
>Yukari, can she gap me some items from the outside world? I'd love to own a P90 to show the Tengu and Kappa the superiority of Human tech over their crude imitations.
That would literally start a Youkai arms race and upset the balance of Gensokyo. Yukari would stomp your balls.

>>46747476
>Yukari would stomp your balls
Oh no?

>>46746861
Pamper Ran, get pampered back, use each other as a body pillow, go on dates, feed each other delicious homemade food, lock arms together while you're out and about (she's not letting you out of her sight), and occasionally see her charming and almost eerie fox-like smile every time you walk past that hussy Mamizou. Ran is so cute.

>>46747536
What happens if you cheat on Ran with Mamizou?

>>46747540
Ideally, Ran would groom you to the point where you couldn't so much as think an errant thought about having a relationship with another woman, but if you went so far as to cheat on her with a tanuki hag, I imagine it wouldn't be very pleasant for you. No amount of bathing and scent masks can remove the acrid smell of smoke and tanuki musk that would be all over you, Ran has a sensitive nose, she will find out.

Wouldn't it be kind of wrong to marry Ran when her master's right there... All haggy and alone...?

>>46747615
it's a two for one deal

>>46746557
I don't care, I love my wife.

forgotten backdoor hag

>>46747647
I want to pick her up and princess carry her everywhere

>>46747664
I know you're trying to be romantic and cool here but you do realize she's a huge pervert right

If you did that she'd probably grope your butt or something and pass it off as just trying to get a grip and adjust herself

>>46747750
I trust Okina to never sexually harass anyone or to grope people or use her power over people for sexual gratification!

>>46747750
Oh no how horrible.

>>46743783
NO! I'm a strong independent man who needs no hag!

>>46746557
Yuuka. No contest.
There is nothing hidden about her. She's the most up front and direct of all of the ladies.
She says you're coming with her? That's what you're going to be doing for the next few hours of your life.
She tells you to take her out on a date? You'd better have something planned for such a situation, because it's happening now.
The highest honour you can get from her is asked your opinion on something, anything. That means she respects you on some level, more than ordinary humans.
For example, if she asks you if you want to come with her to watch her weekly fight with Yukari ̶o̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶'̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ ̶p̶o̶w̶e̶r̶f̶u̶l̶ ̶a̶u̶t̶i̶s̶t̶ between raw power and trickery, then you're basically married now. There is more work to be done yet, but you are in a position that commands utter respect from all mortal men.

Her idea of a date is probably just dragging you along to do whatever else she wanted to do that day with her, or having you watch her beat someone up so you can tell her how awesome she looked after, but it's so quintessentially Yuuka that I would not consider a second of that time wasted. Youkai moe and all.

Y'all haven't forgotten this old lady, right?

>>46751091
Not crazy enough, she can't compete with the vivisection vixen

>>46751091
Out of the Hags she is the most vanilla one

>>46751091
>>46751313
>>46751412
She's basically a cavewoman, and no one wants to date a strong scary cavewoman (old)

>>46751421
she has large breasts and will feed you

>>46751432
She is violent, has a rough body from all her outdoor activities, and probably doesn't shave a lot

>>46751462
>doesn't shave a lot
Implying the rest do?

>>46751091
>>46751432
She considers you wandering into her territory as an invitation for her to adopt you. If you encounter her in the woods it's already too late. She is your mom now and you're not leaving her.

>>46751496
she only does that for kids, sorry
if you're an adult (especially if you're a fat /jp/sie) she'll just turn you around and send you back to the village

>>46747750
It's ok because I'll be groping her thighs
An even trade if you ask me

>>46746557
Yuugi is a hag?

>>46751462
Sounds perfect to me. Imagine the bush

>>46751829
Yuugi exists in a quantum superposition of being both a hag and a cute drinking buddy who can overpower you and maybe do lewd things to you. It's a result of her ability to manipulate unexplainable phenomena. Scary, right?

>>46747476
So maybe showing off advanced technology to lesser youkai is off the table, but my question still stands. Can Yukari gap me weapons and other goods from the outside world? Presumably there are no weapons control laws in Gensokyo.

>>46746709
>she sleeps a lot so she could be low maintenance
You'd assume that, but you'll have to be there when she decides to take a 12 hour nap. She can't sleep soundly without her human bodypillow.

>>46751953
Ran on suicide watch after having to give you a burrito in Yukari's bed so you don't starve during one of her longer naps

>>46751945
>laws
Yukari can make up laws in the spot if you bother her with your manchildish desires.
If you want outside world goods ask her to gap you to Kourindou

>>46752060
There's nothing manchildish about enjoying the luxuries of the outside world, Yukari does it too, you know.

She doesn't ridicule Rinnosuke for wanting access to kerosene.

>>46747504
Spacejin Yukari is demonic.

>>46751494
Yuyuko makes Youmu shave it for her.

is this why 30 year old men are banging 18 year old zoomer girls now?

>>46751829
I was always confused over her place in that picture. Maybe the picture was made just before Mamizou's game came out and there was a void in the "alcoholic aunt" category so Yuugi was just crammed in that slot instead.

>>46752679
>there was a void in the "alcoholic aunt" category
New evidence has emerged and that void has since been filled.

>>46751998
You'd think she'd learn some substitution techniques by now. After the first time there'd at least be a mock blow up doll modeled after you for this purpose.

>>46751496
Zounose Nemuno is not a compelling argument for her as an adoptive mother.

>>46752624
Yes. Zoomer girls are so insane that it takes a 30+ years old brat wrangler to handle them. This leaves the 30+ year old women without men of their own age, so they go for zoomer boys. Zoomer boys can't handle the zoomer girls, but are open to older women and very much benefit from the company of more experienced women.

In the end, everybody wins
>zoomer girls get the father figures they lack
>old men get young women
>zoomer boys get women who are not as insane as zoomer girls and can tech them
>old women get to feel hot and desired

>>46752742
>zoomer boys get women who are not as insane as zoomer girls
>not as insane
lol, lmao

>>46752624
As a 30 year old man who considers himself young at heart (a man child) essentially), I don't want to date women my age because they probably only want to talk about boring adult shit like their careers and their bills. Then again I don't think I would enjoy dating 18 year olds either because the modern 18 year old is a vapid retard.

I can understand the appeal though. especially for those who consider themselves young at heart. With their physical youth quickly fading, one way to try to grasp onto it is by dating younger and hoping that they can help you at least continue staying young on the inside.

>>46752568
Perhaps the same could be said of all spacejin hags

>>46746557
Yukari would just be fucking about followed by months of sleeping
That would be the dream

>>46753347
Spacezin Yuuka is actually nice, though. She just looks scary and has poor social skills. Delicious gap moe.

>>46746557
I choose Yuugi!

>>46753347
Why are Yuuka and Junko looking at me like that?

>>46755299
they detected structurally intact balls

I wish there existed a touhou dating sim revolving solely around the hags made by /jp/. You could go for one, multiple, or all of them. Imagine the interesting interactions, like the hag meetup, or if you manage to seduce 2 hags that hate each other (Yuuka/Yukari, Byak/Seiga, Eirin/Junko)

>>46757818
Why hasn't this been done before ?

>>46757818
I'll draw. But I cannot write.

>>46758100
I can write, but I cannot draw.

>>46757818
I'll make the logo.

>>46757818
I'll masturbate to this game.

>>46758229
I can write and draw, but I don't like hags.

>>46746714
Cold harsh sociopathic doctor lady VS mentally unwell murderous grieving mother. Which one do you choose?

>>46743783
>Yukari
You see, I like dating a hag.

Not that into dating a child serial killer.

>>46743783
>Yukari
You see, I like dating a child serial killer.

Not the into dating a hag.

>>46743783
>Yukari
You see, I like dating a child.

Not that into dating a hag.

>>46759047
Chang'e can watch.

>>46743783
>child serial killer
You see, I like dating a Yukari.

Not that into dating a hag.

>>46759047
The crazy on Junko's face is hot, but Eirin is just so beautiful in the same way a nuclear weapon is that I can't decide.

>>46759047
I'll taken the latter because she is less likely to perform fucked up experiments on me without my consent.

>>46760134
Is deadly*

>>46760186
Don't you correct me, I happen to think nukes are beautiful I'll have you know!

>>46746714
think about being stuck between them while they force you to choose to pick one. i think id be overwhelmed and cry, I dont want to hurt either of their feelings.
imagine if they bother put down their mean demeanors towards each other and they prioritized stopping your tears... i can dream

>>46760303
I'm sure Eirin will understand if you choose Junko. That woman has lost so much, it's only fair she gets ONE male figure in her life that still breathes.

>>46759047
>>46746714
>>46746795
>>46760303
>>46760322
I want them to have joint custody over me. The best of both worlds.

>>46751953
Oh no?

I want to massage hag feet

I wonder how 2hag's would react if I wanted to hold their hand

>>46761699
Gimme Yukari’s first.

>>46761699
Eh...

>>46761768
I want to knead Mima's ghost legs like it's bread dough, like cold mochi

>>46761768
daikons need love too

>>46761817
Oi, are you calling this young lady a hag?

>>46761768
This vengeful spirit is looking awfully cute for a comically evil supervillain

>>46761711
hand holding... imagine forehead kisses while hand holding!

>>46762068
Before marriage ? How scandalous

>>46762158
Before marriage? You must be mistaken.

Where are the saggers?

>>46762381
So saggy~

>>46762542
sweaty hag feet!
!!!

>>46747540
You will return home to find it empty, but your ass full.

>>46762629
I don't like the implications of this post...

>>46762718
I'm not sure whether it means Mamizou would fuck him in the ass while Ran leaves, or that when he gets home Ran will sodomize him as punishment before going.

Mamizou doesn't have a penis, also she's a qt

>>46762748
Sure she doesn't, she was born female after all, but she's a tanuki. All it takes is her wanting one, and she'll have it. Can you take that risk? Any day she might decide she wants to try pegging.

>>46762760
>Can you take that risk?
Yes

>>46762760
Mamizou's reasonable enough that you could just ask her not to put it in your ass, even in that case. If Eirin took some weird drug or Yukari wanted to take liberties with certain boundaries, you'd have a much harder time.

>>46762811
>Mamizou's reasonable enough that you could just ask her not to put it in your ass,
"Mouth it is then, Sonny Jim".

Ran's association with touching your bitch switch is completely unjustified and she's trying her best to shed that stereotype. But Mamizou on the other hand can never separate herself from that insipid idea. It's ingrained in Tanuki mythology, it's never far off from the realm of plausibility. Ran will never have any surprises like that between her legs. Ran, the shikigami of the youkai of boundaries, understands and will respect your own boundaries. Could you say the same about that stinky alcoholic kidnapper of a Tanuki?

>>46763260
- Ran trying to lure a human man close so she can press his bitch button until he can't cum normally anymore.

I don't want my hag to transform into a dude and fuck me in the ass, or train me into only being able to cum from prostate stimulation. Thankfully, my hag is much safer and more level-headed.

Just consider that with skillful use of the gap Ran could tickle your prostate and suck you off at the same time.

>>46763314
not like she has to try very hard to lure

>>46763336
Your hag will watch you like a hawk, dress you in the morning, bathe you in the evening, won't let you do either of these by yourself, and will make you share a bed with her and Heca.

I love the pure mama!

>>46763416
she has a bit of a temper

>>46763431
fuse them together and mellow her out!

Hags, you say?

>>46763452
how does this make you feel?

>>46763461
What is Yukari doing here?

>>46743945
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8dENYJbN1z4

>>46758834
why are you in the hag thread

>>46763951
Probably a young woman on the prowl for an unsuspecting hagfan anon (probably a few years older than her) to drag away and make her husband. Disgusting.

>>46764023
How horrifying...
Save me, Kanako!

The hag is offering you a big warm hug, do you accept.
(You are personally accountable for any forceful adoptions and cuddles that come as a result)

>>46764383
can I lift her during the hug? I loved lifting my mother when we'd share a hug

>>46764435
Yes but every action creates an equal reaction. She will likely pin you to the wall or floor in response.
Also I think it's very sweet to hear about anon lifting up his mom during hugs and I am very jealous,

>>46764522
>She will likely pin you to the wall or floor in response.
Hell yeah! No wonder Junko is the true 2humom! I'll always dearly lift her like the treasure she is

What does it mean that I had a dream where I met Reimu but she wasn't a young girl. She was like 30-40 years old. We explored a forest together and then we went to some kind of a hostel in an old estate and had s*x in the shower??

>>46764547
>TFW you will never lift her and make her feel treasured
What's even the point of it?

>>46764573
You're lonely anon.
I want to say you're just horny but you probably want a genuine relationship considering the "We explored a forest together" part.

>>46764573
it means you're a dumbass. You had Milf Reimu right there and a pristine, lush and calm forest to have hardcore and consecutive primal breeding sex, and yet you choose to go to a disease ridden fifth class hotel and copulate under a cold shower that at any given moment can electrocute the both of you? Please, dream more elegantly next time you fucking troglodyte.

>>46764600
>You're lonely anon.
>you probably want a genuine relationship
Haha no way...
>>46764617
>disease ridden fifth class hotel and copulate under a cold shower that at any given moment can electrocute the both of you
Anon, I don't live in South America...besides, it was her who wanted to go back!

>>46764600
>TFW you will never lift her and make her feel treasured
>What's even the point of it?
It suxs...
Oh well, happy mum happy life

>>46764627
Okay so if you agree then can we co-fantasize all the sweet things we want to do with our hypothetical wife?
I want to go to an amusement with her and have her hold me when a breeze comes by to keep me warm and when we get to the top I want to hug her back and tell her about how happy she makes me and... and...

>>46764651
If only I could make mommy happy.

>>46764745
>can we co-fantasize all the sweet things we want to do with our hypothetical wife?
I'm boring. I want to help her brush her tails after she gets out of a bath, help her with chores and cooking, and overall keep her company. Feeding each other food while on an outing or during one of the many parties and banquets would be nice too. And maybe through my own study and effort I can at least become strong or technical enough to help her with other tasks.

>>46764793
Brushing her tails? How could I forget about that?
I love the idea of brushing her hair from behind while she gently hums. And once I have all the knots and tangles out and her hair is pristine she leans back into me.
Feeding her too is also such a nice idea, I love the though of giving her something and it immediately putting a big smile on her face! You're not boring, you get it.

>>46764745
>Okay so if you agree then can we co-fantasize all the sweet things we want to do with our hypothetical wife?
Good idea. I guess my fantasies already leaked through in that dream, when I think of it I really would like to have someone who could apreciate parks and forests and nature reserves and such. It would be nice to go to nature, just the two of us and then just enjoy the surroundings and the company of each other.
>I want to go to an amusement with her and have her hold me when a breeze comes by to keep me warm and when we get to the top I want to hug her back and tell her about how happy she makes me and... and...
That's so cute anon.

>>46763345
That's not even that hard to do without gaps?

>>46765035
Do you have experience on the matter and were you the one getting tickled or doing the tickling?

>>46764945
I get so caught up gushing about how much I love her I end up delirious and can barely type my sentences or focus on anything.
Even right now between every other word I lean back and smile thinking about all the things we could do...

>>46765047
Not him, but if she's sucking you off her hands are already in that general area. Realistically all she'd need to do is just poke in a finger from the same hand she's rolling your balls around with, then all you can do is writhe and grab her head while your soul gets sucked out.

>>46765062
Even here I accidentally responded to the wrong post with how hard it is to focus... I really need to learn to compose myself

>>46765047
Yes, yes, and yes.

>>46765114

>>46765114
OK, nice, I trust your word on the matter, then.

>>46765129
In my defence I've had a man and a woman do it to me before.

>>46764383
Junko is scary here so uh, probably not from her. At least not in this intimidating moment. Sorry space spirit mom!

>>46765114
>>46765140
This hag thread is infested with bisexual sluts, how impure...

>>46765490
Only a sexually assertive mature woman can put a leash on such perverts!

>>46765498
you understand!

Hags when they see an Anon:

>>46766600
How did they know?

>>46766716
You just know.

>>46766870
How did they just know my young man penis was exclusively for old women?

>>46766600
>junko
Ridiculous! Even though Junko could obviously have any man she wants without any effort, she doesn't want a human male; she wants to kill Chang'e and/or hang out with her virgin friend.
Until that situation is resolved, she wouldn't even put a moment's consideration into the idea of remarriage, so unless you were born with the power to render mortality onto the immortal, your chances with her are well and truly 0%.

>>46766600
I like how they all have wrinkles or bags under their eyes except for Ran.

>>46767416
Such a nice young lady who is nice and can be trusted with unlimited access to your prostate.

>>46767423
Please do not reply to me with such homosexuality

>>46767442
Nothing gay about having sex with a woman, even if she does treat you as her wife.

>>46766600
That Eirin hnnnnngh

is reimu's mom allowed in the conversation, or is she too young to make the cut?

>>46768236
Hags need to be soft, get her on a strict regimen of lazing about all day!

>>46746592
>>Kanako
>Do chores all day with Sanae
Oh, I will do "chores" all day with Sanae alright... the entire mountain will hear us work hard in the shrine...

>>46768264
Lemme just check the source of this ima-

>>46768278
Sir, take your unnatural lust for women your own age somewhere else

>>46768465
NOOOO SAVE ME RAN-SAMA

>>46761768
I wonder how a date with Mima would go honestly, would Marisa even agree to that ?

>>46768668
Why would you ask a daughter permission to date her mom?

Maybe she's cartoonishly evil, and has a way-too-fat butt, and hasn't done anything of note in over 20 years, but Marisa's mom has got it going on.

>>46768553
Oh my god she ate him! She ate him with her tits!

>>46768545
Too late

>>46768668
If you somehow managed to get to the point where she agreed to date you instead of shutting you down with the world's most withering stare of malicious disbelief, you'd probably have a really fun time with Mima. Though she might be a bit unpleasant to anyone else you met along the way. Especially if those bitches looked at you.

>>46768775
>instead of shutting you down with the world's most withering stare of malicious disbelief
If she does this, you just say it'd be really nice because she seems like a really lovely and interesting lady!

This is my super pro-tip to anyone wanting to date an older woman, so please listen! Just be nice to them. Old women like it when you're friendly.

>>46768818
Excellent.

>>46768818
How old are we talking about here..?

>>46768818
>>46768968
>>46768775
Note that this applies DOUBLY to the evil old women. Evil women don't handle affection or kindness well, especially if they try to do something mean to you and you're still nice to them. It really confuses them.

we love our hags!

>>46769071
Anon...
>>46766600

>>46768999
But what if you were to appease a vengeful spirit like her ? Can she even exist if you take away her hatred?

>>46769116
the image is so powerful, it had to be posted twice

>>46769119
tojiko seems to be doing just fine, mima will manage somehow

>>46769119
She can still fixate on the object of her hatred whenever she's not busy doting on the young man who's broken into her icy heart.

>>46769071
I meant to post this last night but 4chan gave me 60 seconds to wait to even do the captcha so i went to sleep

>>46769116
I meant to post this last night but 4chan gave me 60 seconds to wait to even do the captcha so i went to sleep

>>46769167
>>46769230
anon's brain is absolutely FRIED by haglust

>>46769258
many such cases

>>46743783

>>46768999
Just imagine the evil old touhou of your choice practicing her villain monologue in front of you and eager to see what you think! She'll say she wants feedback but of you give her anything less than abject praise her pride will be wounded

>>46769314
This, but while your head is firmly parked on her cushiony hagthighs and she's softly running her fingers through your hair.

>>46768319
Whaaat do the moonrunes say

>>46769314
Okay , BUT what about MULTIPLE hags doing this.

>>46770608
You can't receive multiple thigh pillows from hags at the same time!

>>46770705
Why not ? Why Isn't it Possible ? Why not you stupid bastard ?

>>46746592
>>Yuuka
>Gardening all day every day
true but the sadistic S&M sex would be great

>>46770728
Do you have multiple heads anon?

>>46770735
Limited yet again by my human body ... However I could theoretically lay on 3 maybe 4 Hags (Depending on their size) ...
If we utilise Okinas Backdoors and Yukaris Gap we can ensure that every Hag gets a peace. So check mate science wins again!

>>46743783
I'm going to look Yukari in the eye and say I'm a hagpilled cougarmaxxing milfizen to see how long it takes her to figure out what I'm even saying.

>>46771350
You severely underestimate Yukari's autism level.

>>46771531
Alice's mom isn't any less weird than she is...

>>46771550
she is significantly more attractive than alice though

>>46771531
I am biting my hand in sheer lust and despair. Why doesn't this hag exist? This is so unfair.

>>46771556
Alice is only weird because she gets mogged by her own mother every single hour of every single day

>>46771350
you'd get as far as "hagp-" before being gapped into her date dungeon and never seen again

>>46771614
I tried it rn and you lie-

>>46771614
Date dungeon? Oh man, I wonder what goes on in there? I’d ask this >>46771690 guy but he seems a little preoccupied now.

>>46771531
>>46771550
>>46771556
>>46771582
Her mother has several kids already despite being a virgin, and none of them can be called particularly normal. She even made her own fantasy world to live in for goodness sake. She's probably a pervert like Alice is, but unfortunately we can't substantiate those rumors since no man is interested in getting close to her.

>>46771531
Shinki is pure SEX
I want to cum inside Makai mom's loose pussy so bad

where did the ran prostate stimulation meme come from anyway
is it cause of that series of animations buckethead did

>>46771852
she's hot enough to offset the weirdness penalty
alice, not so much

>>46771870
Ran lovers are all submissive sluts, it's only natural they'd be into deviant sexual practices

>>46771901
>Ran lovers are all submissive sluts
Can't argue with that

ive always thought about rawdogging Ran while pulling her tails

with love of course

>>46772037
My mom was the greatest to ever live, but i still ended up developing a fetish for motherhood. I used to think it was the same for everyone else, but it turned out it's the exact opposite.

>>46771819
Mock candlelit dinners.
Holding hands while looking at the night sky through a gap.
Pretending to listen to her ramble about autistic bullshit.
Watching godawful romcoms with the two of you under a blanket.
7 hour long snuggle sessions.

>>46772074
same boat
love my mum dearly but i can't look at her even remotely sexually
but the whole "mommy" thing really gets me going
it's confusing

>>46772085
>love my mum dearly but i can't look at her even remotely sexually
It used to be the opposite for me. When i was a kid, i tried to kiss her mouth and do lewd things with her almost constantly because i thought it was the kind of stuff you do with someone you love. Fortunately or not, i grew out of that phase eventually.

>>46772101
99% of gamblers pull off before their big win. You messed up, Anon...

>>46772074
>>46772085
>>46772101
Come to mama.

>>46771870
I'm just surprised more touhous aren't associated with prostate milking. Touhou notoriously attracts subs, milfy women even moreso. And getting things up your butt is like entry level femdom.

>>46772037
>with a mother there is no agenda but her wanting the best for you. After all, what does she have to gain by screwing you over?
human housepet

>>46772182
>with a mother there is no agenda but her wanting the best for you
Yeah...haha...wanting the best...

>>46772145
>entry level
does that mean your anal antics with Ran would eventually progress to the point of "advanced femdom"? Scary...

>>46772056
You'll be playing that scenario out in your head while you gasp and twitch and moan as Ran's fingers gently yet firmly assault your most sensitive place

>>46772143
this woman will be LOVINGLY hugged! She's a TREASURE and deserves all possible LOVE!

>>46772283
once you're used to it the collar gives a great feeling of security actually

she's waiting...

>>46772283
It's not guaranteed but there's an excellent chance she'll escalate to tying you up with her tails, smothering and playing with your breath, and then she may well pull out a collar with "Property of R. Yakumo" engraved on it.

>>46772295
For what?

>>46772293
>>46772310
I think you guys are just being silly now. Remilia tells me that there's nothing weird about the collar she's given me, it's just another kind of accessory, like a necklace but for men! It also even lets people see that I'm an associate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and that with her name around my neck, it shows I'm a very important and influential person in Gensokyo! It doesn't make sense to call it an "advanced femdom" thing when it's just a kind of token from a nice lady!

>>46772326
It is too late for this man. Mourn his human rights and warn the next one not to approach old youkai women.

>>46772312
what else but a tight hug?

>>46772287
You lack imagination. Who says they both can't happen? You finish having a good ole time behind Ran, face buried in the tails bundled in your arms, then fall back in bed tired and spent. Ran on the other hand isn't quite satisfied and just gives you a little pick-me-up. She gets on top and entwines her tails around your wrists and ankles, wouldn't want you getting away. Just as your head rushes with adrenaline and cortisol to warn you of the sudden danger, she plays with a gap leading to your precious thing, then you lay there twitching and moaning. You underestimate the pent up libido of millennium maiden. Maybe work on your endurance and turn her into a drooling moaning idiot before she does it to you.

i cant share the whole mommy sexually attract kink
i can understand wanting a motherly woman though
makes you want to pump children in her

its gotta be an evolutionary reason like liking big breasts and ass

>>46772367
Hot, stealing that idea.

Enough of these petty disputes. Time for a real mature lady to take center stage.

>>46763553
FUCK OFF WHY AM I BELLYLAUGHING

>>46772373
I can understand the kink, sometimes you just want to be taken care of and coddled, life cold and hard etc.
But if you understand Ran on even a slightly deeper level, you'll know she doesn't have it easy either and that makes me want to coddle her and help her relax. She's the perfect person to pamper and be pampered by. Then when you're both ready you can knock her up with litters of half-kits, because unlike certain other 'young' ladies, she's not dried up and barren and is just built for it.
>>46772383
Isn't it past your bedtime?

>>46772351
I don't really understand what you mean by human rights, I think you're just misunderstanding things. It's basically just like a scarf or something. Remilia is my friend and she's been kind enough to offer me room and board here in Gensokyo since the SDM is one of the few places that speaks English.

I'd go down and show you personally that it's not anything weird, but Remilia says that it's not safe to leave the SDM without being accompanied by either herself or Sakuya.

By the way, Sakuya thinks the collar is VERY cool too!

such is life

>>46772463
Describe the aroma.

>>46772468
dust and powdered milk

>>46772468
Like smelling the heat of the back of a playstation 4

>>46743797

ITT: absolute children who think 10 years makes you a fkn mummy kek

>>46772143
Headpats first and getting called a good boy during/after and I'll give her all the hugs she wants.

Reminder that Eirin is a widow with two kids

>>46772083
That sounds absolutely dreadful. Poor guy is probably being subjected to handholding with Yukari and looking at the stars while she goes on and on about quantum theory this and specific train models that at this point following dinner.
I wonder what romcoms they’ll watch afterwards?

Bump limit reached organically in three days? Hags really are too powerful!

But what if I dont want to get forcibly adopted?

>>46772145
Wrong, I want nothing more than to totally dominate these hags in bed

>>46772468
The smell of old books.

>>46772425
I want to be Ran's lap pillow! I want her to collapse into me and let me rub her scalp and run my fingers through her hair!! I want to trace around her ears and temples and watch her tails wiggle and contort in response to the sensations I produce!!!

>>46771531
Cute feet
>>46773675
>>46772514
I like these smells

>>46773012
exclusively hallmark movies
>>46775534
give her lap pillows like she does to Chen, earpicking service included

>>46777468

>>46777516
A short time later...

>>46773048
I blame it on the autism of mofufags

>>46777955
I don't think autism makes you crave prostate torture femdom

>>46778029
idk I hear autists are big on "stimming"

>>46743783
i only like women over 300 years old

>>46777516
meanwhile in reality

>>46778849
I don't like the stinky tube fox as much as the next Anon, but this always makes me feel bad for her. It's not right, man.

love your mumhus!

Gensokyo sure is scary...

>>46778029
It is a hotly debated topic, not all of them wants to be fingerblasted, but foxmom appeals to femdom and SS and this is broadly accepted amongst terminally ill mofubrains.

>>46779732

>>46777955
Look at Yukari being all silly here. She’s not supposed to be there!

>>46780007
she's in a lot of places she's not supposed to be

>>46780029
Like in your house when you didn't invite her and you just got home

>>46780029
>>46780322
What an adorable reality warping demoness.

>>46773305
you're in the land of subs and bottoms m'boy

Soon, this thread will be lost... Like unsuspecting anons into suspicious gaps...

>>46780677
I won’t get gapnapped by some lonely ha-

If you haven't liked hags back then and only like them now just because for some reason they are the "it" thing right now you can fuck right off you bandwagoning douche.

>>46781002
liking older women is as old as time itself, Anon.

>>46781002
I think I've had a thing for older ladies for as long as I can remember

>>46780322
She just skips the introductions and pops straight into your bed

>>46779912
I'd rather be pegged or take fox futa cock personally but this seems a controversial opinion.

threadly reminder: the fox won't do these things unless you ask for it