/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45840265
I'm a miser. I would just trick fairies into doing the dirty with me for free. Besides the real fun is sexing those girls whom you can't buy with money, and even more fun are those prudes who don't put out.

None, this topic is overdone.

Instead I'll ask which 2hu would pay *you* for sex?
Would you have a blacklist or would you be a living dildo for anyone who asks? And how much would they need to pay you?

>>45840299
I'd need a list of 2hus that would pay for sex at all in the first place. Maybe Chiyari, though I doubt she has much cash to spare, but I wouldn't charge her much anyway.

>>45840299
I will NOT sell my sexuality for 2hus

>>45840299
I would have a blacklist to those I don't like but I sell cheap to 2hu I like or feel pity for

>>45840327
Assume all of them want it, sooner or later. How much would you charge?

>>45840500
>Assume all of them want it
I mean there are those that have social skills so they don't need to pay for sex. I picked Chiyari as an example because she's a dork and her standards can't be that high.

>>45840525
>social skills so they don't need to pay for sex
Right, but for the sake of the argument assume they want to try your specialty at some point. Just because you're exotic due to being a western man, or maybe unique in a different way like you're taller, shorter, stronger than the average villager. Maybe you just smell nice.
Who do you reject and what's your average price?

>>45840699
Doubtful, but let's go with that.
>Who do you reject and what's your average price?
I'd have to think a long time about a proper blacklist, but on top of my head I would avoid Seiga: she's hot, but I don't want to risk being kidnapped and turned into a jiangshi or something. I also don't trust Seija because she's a cunt.
No idea how much I should charge honestly.

>>45840299
Sorry hus I think that you should only do that kind of thing with someone you really like, so I'm not accepting any price for my body.

>>45840265
Kotohime

>>45840299
Hmm, who would pay me for sex? For possibilities I'd say joon, akyuu, kosuzu, Letty, chimata, kagerou, koakuma mamizou, nue, momiji, parsee, raiko, ringo, shizuha... Those I think are the most likely to do so if I'm a stranger to them.

>>45841003
>kagerou
nope, because i'd have her tied 24/7.

>>45840299
When I go to Gensokyo, I'm going to open a brothel and staff it with /jp/sies. I'll call it
"The Sin Shack". Now hiring.

>>45844663
If I were running this I'd slap on: "Fluffy tails get in free."
There would be some test of course, can't just let any nekomata or wolf tengu in. First is the pull test to filter any tramp with fake tail plugs. Then the brush test to filter tramps who can't into hygiene. Finally the fluff test, give it the ole huff and fluff; if you could nap on it they pass. An additional patience test may be given during various mating seasons, if they can sit still for a minute without trying to hump the furniture they're a-okay. You gotta look after employee safety after all.

>>45844991
Interesting. I would give a discount to any animal youkai suffering from heat cycles. That means they're likely to just go wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am on me and go, and I could quickly sell my services to another one right after. I figure a high volume business of, say, three times as many per hour (at half the cost per person) would be extremely lucrative.

>>45840299
my 2hu wife would not approve of me becoming a prostitute

>>45845060
My 2wife would not only approve but would also probably be my pimp.

>>45845072
Step 1: get everyone addicted to your hubbie's cock
Step 2: control access to the sacred rod
Step 3: bend Gensokyo's elite to your will
Step 4: win

>>45845135
She's such a schemer!

>>45845072
Accurate.

>>45840265
my 2wife would not approve of me partaking in prostitution

>>45845649
I don't follow.

>>45840299
my 2wife would not approve of me becoming a prostitute

>>45845954
It's a reference tot hat godawful fanfiction general that's been running for a few months.

>>45845954
It's about that /jp/ fanfic in which Yukari really is a pimp that forces a man into prostitution.

>>45846027
>>45846057
It is trashy, but it is /jp/ trashy. It needs to finish and get its happy ending(s) done and over with so writefags can go pickup their other fics they put on hold.
Captcha: 0DRAG

>>45840265
These two.

>>45846214
I just wish it had the least to do with Touhou. It's kind of pointless when the characters don't even act like themselves. I like Reimu because she's Reimu, I hate Byakuren because she's Byakuren. When they aren't themselves, I lose interest immediately.

>>45846513
>like Reimu
>hate Byakuren
You wouldn't happen to be that other writefag, right? The Taoist one that spends more time genning AI slop than writing?

>>45840265
Nah, I would forcefully breed with them, they'll take my cum and they'll like it. They will be onaholes for my incel BWC.

>>45846513
Its a fanwork, by default they are not going act 100%, even if there is such a thing with how vaguely characterized some hus are.
Hell with Reimu the only canon there is for her is that she is the crimson slasher that thinks with violence first and has a soft spot for youkai and her friends as much as she is greedy.

>>45846027
sorry I didn't mean to reference HSE, I haven't read it, it just struck me as something funny Yukari might do

>>45845948
Come up with your own posts instead of copy-pasting others, or just don't post at all.

>>45846638
No, that's me. Hi.

>>45849826
NTA but I don't think his 2wife would appreciate him engaging in gay sex, prostitution, or gay prostitution for that matter.

>>45846638
You don't need to be a taoist to hate Byakushit

>>45846326
I like to think that John originally had small tits, but used her earnings as a prostitute to buy implants.

>>45849874
Thanks for the info

>>45850128
It's the power of money. Not really sure but thanks to Furui's videos he managed to push the fad of a busty Jo'on.

>>45846214
>It needs to finish and get its happy ending(s) done and over with so writefags can go pickup their other fics they put on hold
it was supposed to end months ago but writefags seem to be incapable of tying loose ends, at this rate it'll be nothing short of a miracle if it actually finishes

>>45851881
I must admit he did a delicious job

>>45856856
Shame he stopped doing 2hu stuff.

>>45840299
Koakuma (insatiable succubus desire, though this is assuming Patchy doesn't get males from somewhere to satisfy her needs)

Alice (desperate antisocial loner)

Reisen (will desperately need someone to satisfy her during mating season, but you'd also need to physically be up to the task. Would also regularly consult you for stress relief)

Eirin (would pay you for testing sex-related medicine)

Akyuu (rich, socially inept with men, desperate for a worthy heir, you'd need to meet her criteria though)

Aki sisters (so irrelevant they'd pay you to give faith to them in any way, shape or form, even sex)

Nitori (only as compensation for volunteering to have sex-related products on you)

Iku (desperate for a husband, would pay you for sex but only if you agree to marriage as well)

Parsee (femcel, self-explanatory)

Satori (would pay you not to have sex with her, but with her pets whenever they need it)

Seiga (I can't even think of what fucked up reasons she'd have to do it but just know that there's always gonna be an underlying motive for this one and for your sake you should NEVER accept)

Kagerou (shy, desperately needs someone during full moons, doesn't have much money though)

Seiran (awkward loner who doesn't have any friends at earth and runs a failing dango shop, probably one of the most desperate of this list since she can't even hold a conversation, has same mating necessities as reisen)

Joon Sisters (self-explanatory, but also kind of tough, because it's equally as likely that they'd be asking you to pay them as well instead, they wouldn't pay you much if they did pay, though)

Yuuma (would pay you to have sex with Chiyari)

Takane (same as Nitori but won't pay you as much and would possibly involve the risk of you getting kidnapped and turned into a black market slave for trade)

Sannyo (would pimp you for her youkai gambling den)

Hisami (included bonus in her trip to hell)

All canon btw. Any questions?

>>45857067
Forgot:

Yachie (would pay you to rape Saki)

Saki (would pay you to rape Yachie)

Tsukasa (only if she can somehow fuck you up in the long run, i.e. purposefully making it so that you get caught cheating on your wife if you have one, setting up the whole thing to make it appear as though you raped her, trapping you with child support, etc.)

>>45840265
Non I'm too autistic to have sex with someone who I don't have an unhealthy romantic fixation on.

>>45857124
>Tsukasa
What a bitch

>>45857067
very good list anon

>>45846326
Green Is For The Money, Gold Is For The Honey

>>45857067
>Reisen (will desperately need someone to satisfy her during mating season
Rabbits don't have a mating season. They're fertile year-round, and can and will fuck and produce litters throughout the year, assuming the rabbit can find enough food. For that matter they're also highly promiscuous and will breed with another male within hours of giving birth.
Rabbits are always more lewd than you think.

>>45859509
>Rabbits don't have a mating season
You're right, what I meant to say in that case is she'll need someone to satisfy her whenever she's in heat.

>>45859608
They don't have estrus cycles either. Female rabbits release eggs whenever they have sex, which is often and at random times in the year. You can think of a rabbit as having in something similar to a year-round heat if that makes it easier to understand. But rabbits do not have an 'off' period, they don't have cycles of being infertile and needing it. Again, they're always more sexual than you think.
If you ever want to lewd any of the 2hu rabbits you'd best be prepared for her always wanting it any time of year.

>>45859748
So she's horny 24/7? That just makes her even more desperate, then.

>>45857387
More like green is after faith, while gold is after your money. Both sluts tho.

>>45857067
What about Taters? Also, please don't lower yourself to the level of having sex with Alice.

>>45857067
Akyuu trying to casually flaunt her wealth as we date, hoping the prospect of marryingn into such a prosperous clan would make me desire her even more. But little does she knwo that regardless of how rich or poor she might be, i was already planning to take ehr as my wife and fill her with kids, but not revealingn that too soon or Akyuu might pass out from embarassement.

>>45869871
I wonder what you're going to say about this post once you've sobered up.

>>45870421
Do i sound drunk? I've never had alcohol, nor drugs besides cofee. Or if you mean the grammar, yeah i try to type too fast for my hands to catch up

>>45862736
If I go to Gensokyo, I will wageslave and spend all my money on Joan. Sanae does it for free.

>>45874448
Jo'on needs correction.
>spend all my money on Joan
Jewn, and looks like we are on the same boat since Sanae is free for use.

>>45863748
>Taters
Hatate wouldn't do anything because she would never leave her room

>>45880524
She'd order a boy who comes around to her house. She'd shyly open the door stuttering madly, all tengu pride gone, because this is the closest she's been to a man in a hundred years. She'd chicken out of having sex because she's not brave enough even after spending an obscene amount to smuggle a sex worker up the mountain, and stop at cuddling and talking about stuff.
Then the male prostitute would be gang raped on his way back home by the wolf tengu as an example of what happens to men who try to invade the mountain.

>>45840299
My blacklist:
Rumia - Would eat me
Cirno - Would freeze me
Seiga - Asking for trouble
Yoshika - Just no
Flandre - Tempting but just too risky
Letty - Probably would freeze me or be too cold
Prismriver sisters - I can't explain it but it seems like a bad idea somehow
Medicine - Just no
Satori - Would make me feel really uncomfortable
Parsee - Somehow seems dangerous
Waggy saggy - If she is willing to leave water, then it's fine
Urumi - Similar to above

Would provide free service/be living dildo for:
Kasen
Reimu
Marisa
Sakuya
Patchouli
Alice
Youmu
Ran
Suika
Eirin
Reisen
Tewi
Junko
Clownpiece
Tsukasa
Chimata

>>45845009
The better idea would be to use a loyalty program with very good benefits combined with aggressive surveys to track when beast Youkai customers will be in heat. Then, when they are, invest in some marketing and adjust your prices to ludicrous heights.

>>45874961
Jane
Jan
Joan
June
Ju-on the Grudge
Jen
Jun

>>45881809
Just a slut in the end

Despite everything, Reimu is still human and has urges. After years of being by herself and her only knowledge of sex and romance coming from snippets she's overheard or seen in the Village and books, she decides she's just going to get rid of her virginity and move on with her life. But she doesn't really know many men, and she doesn't know anything about attracting one. So there's nothing wrong with just hiring a prostitute, right? Just one night with a man and she can say she's a woman and move on with her life. Despite telling herself there's nothing to it, the woman that has flown into hells and beaten up the residents would be nervous about this. She'd melt if you showed her any affection and were gentle with her, even if she knew it wasn't sincere, as she has no experience with that sort of thing. Maybe if you do well enough, she'll start to think about how she could afford future sessions....

>>45874448
>Give her sister a McDonalds happy meal or something
>She gives me a way better service and becomes clingy right away

Why aim for the gold digger if I can have the pauper? Way better value

>>45882246
That would make a great AI bot.

>>45840299
part one
https://exhentai.org/g/1087100/7df0f57322/
part 2
https://exhentai.org/g/1234258/e3c6d3826b/

>>45881118
It's capitalism 101, charge what the market will bear. Those horny beast youkai NEED relief, so any shrewd opportunist would pump up the rates because they'll be willing to pay whatever price you set. The problem is that half these bitches are broke and don't have the money they want to spend. You think Kagerou is going to have 100k yen on hand?

>>45880553
how is Hatate ever going to repay that boys pimp? ive heard that wolfgus mate for life, theres no way hes ever going back to work.

>>45884266
As you've pointed out, it's unrealistic for Fantasy Manwhore℠ to handle every possible scenario on it's own. However, we can overcome this challenge with the help of our new sister company, Rinnosuke Loan & Pawn™.

>>45886067
I think we should turn back before it's too late.

bros, if you ever take a job at the Yakumo estate, then demand 3 times your usual rate. because thats how much work you'll be doing.

>>45881048
>Kasen
>Suika
>Reisen
>Tsukasa
you're dead

>>45889861
you're forgetting fucking
>Youmu
who'd want to provide living dildo services to a serial rapist? you should refuse on principle for your fellow men who've been molested by that half-ghost, half-slut

>>45881048
>living dildo
>Ran
Your prostate is getting dug out like you wouldn't believe. On the bright side you can fit another girl around the front.

>>45889882
>>45889869
>>45889861
I accept my death. I look forward to it, even. I'm like a perverted samurai, seeking an honorable death on the sex battlefield.

>>45880553
>Then the male prostitute would be gang raped on his way back home by the wolf tengu as an example of what happens to men who try to invade the mountain
as if low quality wolf tengu pussy could beat me
if it was exquisite, high quality, and extremely pleasureful oni pussy then maybe I could see it but definitely not wolf tengu

>>45889989
Last words of man who lost to wolf pussy.

>>45889989
oh, well that's a shame
anyway, after definitely not losing to wolf tengu pussy, you stumble your way back down the mountain, but it's getting dark, and you're getting lost. So you keep wandering, and you think you're going in circles, but then you see a light in the distance! You head toward it, and find yourself standing under a clear sky in front of a dojo, and a strange hermit decides that she'd best take care of you and let you stay the night. But there's only one bed, so you'll have to sleep with her, and it gets really hot, so you'll have to take all your clothes off

>>45890026
this hermit sounds like a really nice lady

>>45890059
she'll treat you real nicely

>>45890112
Anon you can't just post half of that

>>45882246
this is too close

>>45890768
okay ;_;

>>45896019
Very grateful anon
Thank you

>>45890112
>>45896019
Rolling, this horny hermit won't get me

>>45883036
You can see June once, or Shion 100000 times.
>>45882016
*whore

>>45901599
but seeing joon once will get you addicted while seeing shion once will get you infected

>>45901599
An excellent one

>>45901610
Eirin will cure that right up.
>>45890112
>>45896019
Rolling

>>45890112
>>45896019
roll

>>45881048
Reimu and Tewi would charge YOU

>>45880553
I'm taking the cable car.

>>45840265

>>45840265
She will overcharge, but I don't care.

>>45840299
I would donate the money back to Reimu just so she would have the money to come fuck me again.

>>45840265
Joon and Mokou.
>>45840299
I would be a living dildo for any 2hu who asks.I'll be Gensokyo's manwhore. I'll even extend my services to the moon, the outside world, the animal realm, the hells and any place in the setting. As for how much they pay that scales with how rich or poor they are and we can negotiate an alternative payment to cash if they can't cough it up.

>>45932975
Aya is middle of the range: Cheaper than Tewi, more expensive than Raymoo.
>>45942810
How much does Mokou charge?

>>45936489
Devious anon

>>45948668
>How much does Mokou charge?
moko isn't a needy girl, just have some smokes on hand and your good to go

What kind of job can I get in Gensokyo that will allow me to see Jo'on regularly?

>>45956041
Try something that makes you handle a lot of money regularly or own lots of assets, so banking, finance in general, merchant...

>>45956041
A blowjob.

>>45840299
I want to have unsatisfying transactional sex with sanae while she makes autism noises and her stench makes me nauseous.

>>45957611
I want to have satisfying marital sex with kanako while sanae watches and makes autism noises.

>>45957611
what other hus would be an awful experience but you can't turn them down because they pay good

>>45958017
Yukari, obviously.
Reisen, clownpiece, cirno, patchoo, flandre probably.

>>45958042
>clownpiece, cirno, flandre

where the fuck are these three going to get any money to pay you? the first two don't even know what money is or how to get it and the third doesn't leave her basement.

are you retarded»

>>45958042
Yukari probably doesn't pay well or tries to negotiate for a lower rate
Reisen is probably too rough while patchouli is a dead fish

>>45958085
Yeah clownpiss and 9fairy would probably be broke admittedly, but don't pretend for a moment if flandre went into heat she'd be unable to convince sakuya to lend her a couple grand so she could blow off some steam. That's like a drop in the bucket for the scarlets.

>>45958163
Maybe a decade ago, but Remilia's pachinko habits have made quite the dent in their savings.

>>45958108
Yukari would actually pay pretty well, the catch is the money wasn't hers until five seconds ago. There is also a not insignificant chance she pilfered your own money to pay.

>>45958205
damn lonely gaphag

>>45958212
She should gap a decent man her age into her life instead of creeping on poor defenseless jpspies.

>>45958238
But Yukari wants someone as autistic and alone as her (she doesn't know how to talk to men)

>>45958205
Yukari would simply create a 5 year master plan to buyout most of your brothel's shares with someone else's money, make a hostile takeover, and grease enough palms to make the other powers that be look the other way. Most of this is done while she is sleeping with her fox doing the bulk of the work.
All so she can have unlimited sex and not have to pay for it.

>>45958042
Seiga does things to you that would make even the devil blush but she pays really well and she's so charming.
Megumu is really rough and bosses you around for the entire time.
Chimata keeps trying to get you to sign papers that allow her to own you through legal means and is just bad at sex overall.
Kanako just pays you money to cuddle and listen to her complain.
Mamizou just smells bad and she have to deal with her granny body.

>>45958300
The fuck Chimata

>>45958257
The 'kari is a very clever girl!

>>45958333
In a way, isn't a girl trying to buy you as an exclusive sex slave romantic? She's freely trading her wealth away to save you from prostitution, it's like a very mercantile marriage!

>>45956454
I will become a male prostitute just so I can make enough money to buy Jeet Ko'on Do. Yes I'm aware I might get male clients, but I'm willing to suck dick to get John.

>>45958560
Sounds like you're about to get a whole lot of Johns...

>>45958017
Alice.

>>45840265
Cirno-chan

>>45958624
Inb4 anon gets popular with the men making the rest of the youkai jealous and they plot his death, rip anon just wanted the twin drill pussy

>>45840290
>I would just trick fairies into doing the dirty with me for free.
Spoiler, it did not go well.

>>45965928
total fake, his dick is still tucked in

She's VERY good at this

>>45972169
Anon...

i need to impregnate yuyuko

>>45980010
Only if you're a minor. If your balls have dropped it's half price and after your 25th it's full price.

>>45972169
Reimu is better and cheaper

>>45982286
I get you like cheaper bargain bin prices anon but sometimes you should splurge on better goods

>>45982302
Not everyone is rich nor a shotacon lover.

I want all the big names in Gensokyo to own me and talk about future plans they have for me and their business before calling me in to fuck them one by one as they all watch.!!

>>45840299
It would be easier to list the 2hus I would not pay for sex.

I smell rape in the air.

>>45982286
Reimu is the prime dead lay of Gensokyo's prostitution scene

>>45991917
and yet, every single man who's paid for her has reported having the most mind-blowing orgasm of his life to the point that they've all been chasing that high ever since

>>45991928
If she's so good then why is she poor

>>45992046
spends it all on pachinko

>>45992082
This but get rich quick schemes.

>>45992046
Spends it all on male escorts who take her out on non-sexual romantic dates. It's the definition of circular economy.

>>45992114
I have a degree in finance and I don't think that's what a circular economy is.

>>45986390
Go on, tell us which then.
>>45980060
Yuyuko isn't a whore

>>45840299
>Would you have a blacklist
Yup.
Marisa, Shion, Joon, Tsukasa, Tewi (Will not pay/will scam me)
Ran, Nue, Seija, all kappa (Nothing is going in my butt)
Shion, Suika, Zanmu, Chiyari (too smelly and probably don't wash)
Rumia, Yuuma, Mystia, (Will bite off something I want)
I will not accept custom from those hus.

>>45999682
Why be so mean to Ran? You put her on the same level as Nue and Seija where the likelihood of them honoring a promise is less than getting stuck by lightning on the day hell freezes over. Ran is nice, polite, and will honor any terms you set. She's trying so hard to reverse the damage to her image the prostatehu meme did.

You also forgot to add Mamizou to the "does not wash" list.

>>45999682
I like how Shion is blacklisted twice.

>>45999682
Damn Shion is banned twice

>>45999907
Anon got molested by Mamizou when she was disguised as Ran.
It's the only explanation as to how anyone could slander the mofu fox so much.
This goes for Tsukasa as well you know

>>45999907
Hi Ran.

>>46000122
Tsukasa likes to stick things up butts?

>>46000313
Why do you think they call her the Tube Fox?

>>46000371
https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/90304313

>>45965499
If any 2hu's snatch is worth dying for, it's June.

>>46009412
So many cute youkais worth dying for and you choose the bitch that acts like a 3DPD and won't even kill you, will just take your money

>>46009587
Simps gotta simp

>>46009587
>won't even kill you
I thought this was the objective.

>>46009604
Is it simping if it's a 2D grill?

>>46017487
Kinda but the most important part about is: addiction. Doing anything you can to make her happy and see her smile.

>>46017487
Yea? You're basically fantasizing about engaging in the worst parts of dealing with a 3DPD.
Not to mention the context of this thread. What's stopping you from just going out and paying a slut to get a specific hairdo and cosplay while you fuck her, actually?

>>46017766
STDs basically. If I ever get aids for fucking a whore I would consider suicide

>>46018516
earlier today I saw a story where a woman sexually harassed a guy by jumping at him and kissing him on the mouth
turns out she gave him HPV from that and it was a strain that doesn't go away
never even get near a woman

>>46018516
Try to get a whore that isn't absolute bottom of the barrel. Like the ancient chinese saying, you get what you pay for.
It'll be a little bit more expensive but it's pretty much what you want, no?

whore this 3DPD that, I'll be content waiting for The Machine™ to replicate my 2wife in perfect detail

>>46017766
>>46018646
I don't want a 3DPD trollop, I want the authentic Twin Drill Pussy experience.

>>45840265
Cirno. She's so retarded you could trick her into taking monopoly money as payment and get practically free sex forever.

Poophoo

>>45840265
I feel like she'd have something closer to a subscription service.

Haha unko

>>46018767
Do NOT fuck the cat.

>>46026677
Fuck the cat, fuck the mouse, fuck the frog, but especially fuck the faeries.

>>46026677
I wouldn't dream of it. However, having her to share big fluffy tails with would be peak comfy. You'll know what I'm talking about if you've been wrapped up in a blanket with a big cat purring and kneading alongside you.

>>46027345
I think the fluffy fox would be better choice then. Also paying a hooker just to cuddle you is peak loneliness.

>>46020378
Why pay an onahole for sex?

>>46036002
the difference is other fairies know they're onaholes
cirno is a an onahole with delusions of grandeur, so tricking her into taking monopoly money just skips some of the legwork out

>>45883462
Hero!

>>45840265
Both of these sisters. The SDM has to make money somehow after all.

>>46044552
2-for-1 deal at the SDM! Both Scarlets for 10000 yen per hour!

Remember to use condoms!

>>46049596
Never.

>>46049683
enjoy your STDs, which 2hus are no doubt crawling with.

>>46054073
No, because they are all only having sex with [[[me]]]

>>45840299
Uh oh! [Insert 2hu] refuses to pay and intends to take you by force. What will you do?

>>46054308
Direct them to my youkai/miko who, for a portion of my profits and all the free dick they want, agreed to beat the tar out of non-paying customers.

>>46054139
yeah but you contracted syphilis after being raped in a back alley in the steaming hot summer of '92

>>46054073
You know youkai can't catch human diseases and vice versa, right?

>>46049596
I want Eirin handmade condom!

>>46054379
Enjoy being a carrier, Typhoid Sinsack.

>>46054379
What about Raymoo? Hot odds she's got summat.

>>45991472
compensated rape

please buy me.

>>46054308
start a tab

>>46083139
If they don't pay the tab send your daughteroo to go break their kneecaps.

I think a hooker approaching and offering you some good time is really hot in the most degenerate kind of way but I'm not so keen on the risk of std or getting robbed.

>>46083241
irl or in Gensokyo?

>>46085573
Irl. Gensokyo hookers would be dangerous in a different kind of way but with similitudes to the real world.

>>46076002
I'd buy that for a dollar

>>45840265
Better question: which 2hu would you pay to file your taxes?

>>46087988
Ran, of course.

>>46089942
according to the latest CoLA chapter you probably wouldn't even need to pay Ran as long as she got to tinker with a computer somehow. Just drag a laptop and a CRT from Kourindo and say that as payment she can wire things up and configure security protocols. She'll jump at the chance.

>>46089942
i would pay ran to do my taxes while i do her

>>46089971
I hope ZUN doesn't show Yukari as tech savvy, I like that trope. The most technology I've seen her interact with is the random bits of Kourin's old junk in CoLA like the Mp3 player and gameboy, but I don't recall seeing her ever use them.

>>45840265
Youmu, Reisen, Mokou, Kokoro. Slow love making sex with all of them.
Cirno, Suwako and Clownpiece for more standard horny fast sex.
And Tenshi, I would pay that brat for rough correctional sex.
>>45840299
>Would you have a blacklist
My black list consists of literally half the roster, bro, but here are some highlights:

>Eika: Im NOT having sex with a semi unborn child or whatever the fuck Eika is
>Yoshika*: Depends how horny I am, on one hand, shes a literal living corpse, on the other, shes kinda my type loli
>Kaguya: I HATE Kaguya, I literally had to force myself to fap to her as an experiment to see how much I hated her, cooming was so hard it was funny
>Tsukasa/Tewi/Joon/All the dangerous manipulative assfaces: Self explanatory
>Seiga: No
>Byakuren: Not that she would even think of paying for even sex, let alone sex with ME of all things, but if she tried, I would the decline in the most polite manner I could think of, Byakuren is too pure for me to taint
>The 3 fairies of light: Something rubs me the wrong way when I think of doing those 3
>Seija: I fucking HATE Seija
>Rumia and all the other deadly Youkai (again, half the roster): I do NOT want to get killed.

>Instead I'll ask which 2hu would pay *you* for sex?
>Youmu: Shes half idiot half stupid, I bet she doesnt even know what sex is and would pay out of curiosity
>Reisen: Shes horny all the fucking time
>Seiran/Parsee/Shion/Reimu: All femcels in diferent degrees, most likely desperate for contact with other people
>Medicine and all of the manipulative assfaces youkai: Theyd do it just to kill me or screw me over.

Id say no to the hostile mf's and the femcels but except Shion and Reimu, Im into those 2, if Youmu and Reisen offered me money I would throw it to the ground and start the sex inmediately no questions asked, for the rest of the characters Id charge something standard depending on their situation.

>>46099492
>Byakuren: Not that she would even think of paying for even sex, let alone sex with ME of all things, but if she tried, I would the decline in the most polite manner I could think of, Byakuren is too pure for me to taint
you think too highly of that hypocrite anon

>>46099078
ran and yukari are very cute

>>46087526
Tewi, Aya and Jo'on maybe. Reimu and Shion, I doubt it.

>>46098347
I don't think that's appropriate...

>>46109669
By "do her" he means brush, huff, and fluff her tails while she does his taxes. Very relaxing for both parties.

>>46109669
sir this is a hookerhus

>>46110125
What if I don't want sex? What if I just want to pay her to pamper me and let me nap on her lap pillow?

>>46098347
I would pay Ran to peg me (in the butt)

>>46110148
That's also a service offered by this prestigious establishment

I don't know about you anons, but i'll just go straight for my mom Junko, have her for a day, promise her a new family, live my life with our kids, and pray everyday to the hakurei gods that the name chang'e doesn't cross my mind.

>>46101397
>hypocrite
Why? Shes an idealist and a bit naive, sure, but hypocrite?

>>46113779
sex with Junko sounds dangerous

>>46121019
why?

>>46126316
What if she goes full rage mode during it?

God I want her to suck both me and my wallet dry

>>46127571
Don't, her snatch is busted. It wont feel good.

>>46134350
Proof?

>>46139693
Rinnosuke told me.

Roxanne...

>>46098347
>i would pay ran to do my taxes while i do her
Imagine thrusting into her as hard as you can and losing yourself inside of her tight, hot wet pussy and blowing loads every few seconds because any guy that goes inside her becomes a one pump chump but she's far more interested in lowering your taxes through legal wizardry and tinkering around with your pc at the same time. Overclocking it to a comical extent and organizing your files...

Don't cum inside a computer

>>46156296
She would be the third computer I've inseminated.

>>46099492
>Kaguya: I HATE Kaguya
Why?

>>46151042
Following your thirty-fifth climax and imminent collapse she says she is finished and then spends ten minutes cleaning herself and removing the 5 liters of semen from inside her and goes home.
After waking up and finally getting the fluids back into your body, you go to check your computer and are surprised to see it turn on faster than you could last inside Ran. Your taxes are paid but something is off, your desktop is clean and organized, all your "New folderAAA" folders have been renamed and put in the right place, and reaction pics now have their own folder instead of being in your downloads.
When you finally check your touhou folder, you see that it is also well organized with tags, artist names and date, but when you start browsing, you only find images and videos of Ran.

>>46156998
Not shown: several rootkits coded in a trigram based programming language that sends data to and from your PC via gap. The fox's remote access is permanent and operates regardless of connected networks. At least you get free software updates.

>>46157118
nerd

>>46157118
She'll have to watch me delete them all and download 15TB of Tsukasa porn.

>>46158211
While fapping you start to notice that Tsukasa tails start to multiply on some pictures, her clothes changes a little on another videos, and suddenly it was Ran this whole time.

>>46158211
>>46158307
Your "Tsukasa" porn
You get the feeling your computer might somehow have a virus, maybe you should give Ran a call and pay out some cash to have it 'fixed' among other things.

>>46158341
i would pay ran to fix my computer while i fix her

Why is Ran so experienced at using computers and paying taxes?

>>46158398
Bam! bap! pow!

>>46162200
Please don't hit Ran!

>>46162375
How'd that plan turn out for ya, dummy?

>>46162375
bonk

>>46156331
ugly and too japanese

>>46162375
Don't worry, she's just being upgraded to level 3.

>>46162129
Yakumo "shove all problems onto the fox to solve" Yukari. Very irresponsible. She wouldn't bother paying you for sex, just gaps herself into your bed and takes you there.

>>46162129
what do you think she did while she was in the animal yakuza? you can be as much of a violent yakuza as you want, but you'd better pay your fucking taxes or even in gensokyo, they'll get you

>>46164414
Sauce?

>>46164512
https://exhentai.org/g/2412904/8cc1c6940f/

>>46164427
What? The IRS exists in Gensokyo too?!

>>46164536
This is terrible. I give up on suicide, going to Gensokyo no longer sounds epic...

>>46164536
>>46164544
Prostitution or not, it's still taxable income. You *are* paying tax on all that right?
It's the cost of doing business after all.

>>46164536
they're the shadowy secret fourth organization in the animal realm

>>46164626
I trade exclusively in ChimaCoins which are out of the reach of federal statists.

>>46156998
>Following your thirty-fifth climax and imminent collapse she says she is finished and then spends ten minutes cleaning herself and removing the 5 liters of semen from inside her and goes home.
This is hot, especially since you're more than likely cumming out your life force, and having your semen be recycled back into your balls over and over, but i refuse to believe that Ran wouldn't give amazing aftercare that's on par with the sex. Cooing at you, letting you drink milk straight from the tap, rubbing your head etc.
>and reaction pics now have their own folder instead of being in your downloads.
You just had to make this personal! Yes I do dump them in my downloads. I'd like to think that she would get a good laugh out of the stupid reaction images I have saved up in my downloads
>>46157118
>Not shown: several rootkits coded in a trigram based programming language that sends data to and from your PC via gap. The fox's remote access is permanent and operates regardless of connected networks. At least you get free software updates
I'm fine with her seeing most of the stuff on my PC/internet. I also think the free software updates would actually improve my experience unlike the bloated piece of shit windows updates that don't even update properly...

>>46164536
Well yeah, you didn't think lawyers and bureaucrats went to heaven did you?

>>46168190
>mumumu

>>46168190
this artist's ran will shove things up your butt

>>46170377
All Rans will put things up your butt. But mumumu's Ran wants you to gave gay sex with dogs abd get vored.

>>46170508
>All Rans will put things up your butt.
Stop. Don't project your homosexuality on Touhou.

What did she ever do to deserve this slander?

>>46170933
She trained too many men to cum from anal.

>>46170933
"Fear not she who has practiced ten thousand sexual techniques. Fear she who has practiced prostate milking ten thousand times." - Jackie Chan

>>46170933
SHUT UP AND DO MY TAXES

>>46170933
Foxes are the sexual harassers of nature!!!

>>45840265
just say you want a jo'on thread

In no particular order:
Sakuya
Hong
Yukari
Okuu
Komachi

>>46180235
Jane gets 10000 yen each time a thread is made about her.

>>45840299
I will NOT sell my sexuality for 2hus

>>46181280
>Yukari
I don't think she needs the money.

>>46196649
Plastic surgery is not cheap

No longer Gensokyo's cheapest.

>>45856932
No he didn't - still makes videos with them regularly.

>>46197045
I want those saggers to remain saggers.

>>46207586
Yukari-sama is very happy that you like her century old powder milker since not even plastic surgery can fix it
but she still needs the money for the wheelchair

>>46207586
Nope, sorry anon. This hag is using her boundary powers to make her big tits perky! So perky they defy logic. All the hags in Gensokyo do this. The saggers make them overshoot and you get stuff like this!

Shion has every STD known to Eirin (and some she even doesn't know about).

>>46170933
its her fault for being perfect as a futa character

what is ms ran doing?

>>45840265
Suika, crawl inside her when she become big
Scarlet sisters 3some
Satori Komeiji, my first 2hoe crush

>>46222805
>Suika, crawl inside her when she become big
I read those doujins too.

>>46222466
She's giving you your bonus along with your pay.

Ran isn't a prostitute.

>>46222837
I've read worse

>>46222084
if poverty gave you aids i would be the first to know

tewi

>>46235575
Tewi requires unpaid sex in the form of correction

>>46225957
You're right, she is the Mother Slut

>>46222805
The Scarlet sisters need money that badly?

>>45840265
I'm poor.

>>46244063
Probably not by jap standards, assuming your currency isnt total garbage.

>>46249317
Melnorme space credits.

>>46244063
Go see Byakuren then.

Spend a dime on Jo'on

>>46235585
Eirin pays YOU to correct her.

>>46201032
She was never a whore

>>46286516
Yeah and Sanae isn't a slut.

None of them would have sex with you guy no matter how much money you offered

>>46300320
Hi Sagume

Roxanne...

Goodnight, hookerhus.

Will getting this hooker's Fumo curse me ? (I want to celebrate getting my first job after searching since July last year)

>>46339166
Your first paycheck and you're spending it on Jo'on? That's pretty ominous.

>>46342922
I would say grim.

If you buy a john fumo, you have to buy another one every week.

>>45840265

Sannyo can get you a great deal.

>>45980010
don't worry anon, i have reviewed the image and found it 100% kosher

donations please

Who's her pimp?

>>46389741
Me (I'm Byakuren)

>>46389741

This hag >>46390148

goodnight hookerhus (for real)