/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Completely scientific slime thicc ranking. In order of viscosity, from highest to lowest with a few reference liquids.
>Creeping coin (she isn't really a slime)
>Sea slime - Close to oil pitch
>Parasite slime
>Nureonago - Honey
>Shoggoth - Maple syrup
>Humpty eggs (the yolk, not the whites)
>Red slime
>Dark slime - Corn syrup
>Queen slime
>Slime
>Bubble slime - Olive oil

I kind of picture slimes being able to stay in one slimy piece because of some weird magical version of magnetism, wherein a slime's own slime seeks to bind with itself or convert whatever it seeks to digest into more slime.

>>45365282
Shogs seem like they would be pretty variable. And probably both non-Newtonian and non-Euclidian.

>>45365282
Sea Slimes are like Jellyfish to me, they have this membrane that separates the goop inside from the saltwater outside, but how do they maintain integrity out of the water?

>>45365282
is a slime a bingham fluid?
if you punch one will it flow?

Post your favorite pics of Bapho-chan!

>>45365282
I propose we suspend the slimes in mid air and see how much they slorp and slime and drip downwards in a day.

>>45365322
My favorites can't be posted on a blue board.

the Mummy reboot but with a Pharaoh

>>45365342
Yeah I think the kingdom would be better off ran by mummys and not her.

>>45365334
I’m disappointed Baphos should all have fat asses to compensate for having no breasts.

>>45365334
The janitor fears the feline box for lewds

Easiest monster to identify on 4mon from their posts?

It's really a blizzard out there today. Good thing humans invented indoors, right?

Early morning post for appreciating lilims!

>>45365560
Alps

It may be freezing outside this winter season, and I may on the verge of succumbing to hypothermia and freezing into a bitter cold statue, permafrosted over from my lack of firewood thanks to the treacherous conditions, but even so I will still reject the Whitehorn and Wendigo and Yetis trying to sway me into their embrace with the promise of warmth. I won't let them trick me. And I won't let a Krampus ruin my christmas either, hence the cement I sealed the chimney with. And I won't let the Ice Queen or the ice Monsters take me either, disguising some attempt to snatch me as an "outreach of good will to save an idiot from freezing himself to death", hence why I wasted all the firewood I DID have fashioning rows of sharp stakes outside to deter them from my house. I'm INDEPENDENT, you hear!? No monsters of winter are gonna take me! NONE! Don't care if I can't flex my frozen fingers anymore! I ENDURE!

>>45365646
I really need a lilim mommy

>>45365666
Don't worry, when you finally get encased in ice like the caveman you are Miss Yeti and Miss Whitehorn will team up to thaw you out with their hugs.

>>45365699
Don't we all

>>45365699
What monster would be the most okay with me calling her "mommy"?

>>45365738
Echidna.

>>45365738
dark mages

>>45365322
Bapho-chan is weak. Only big girl goats can supply the sacred goat milk.

>>45365738
Geizah-sama says, "call me mama!"

>>45365738
Holstaur, she already breast feeds you so why not?

>>45365738
Any of them as long as they have the attitude and the body for it

I shall beat monsters by wizard maxxing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKR6Ax9HBZ8

>n-no I swear I’m an adult. I am [insert less than 100] years old! So I can sleep alone
The NERVE of human boys. Next time I hear this excuse I’ll be deploying THREE caretakers instead of the usual two. It’s like they refuse to be happy. The only way to ensure proper growth is by constant contact with pure and pristine angel pussy

>>45365738
All of the tall ones with big titties.

i want to eat out alice

>>45366304
Gonna turn my guardian angel into a dark angel and send them the pics.

And now it is time to talk about hatter butts again

>>45365334
You can, you just might get the ban hammer for it.

>>45365746
i wonder what she wants

It's very cold. heating is broken.
monsters cannot save us.

>>45367029
Evropa will freeze

>>45367029
stay warm (this will be enforced)

>>45367048
Good, sandniggers will fuck off.

>>45367086
Not necessarily.

>>45367048
>>45367082
Haha imagine showing a live feed of anons shivering in the cold to the eros church in winterstown

>>45367110
The bad ones.

>>45365322

Giant Saint Bernard kobolds with fresh "barrels" on their chest specialized in rescuing freezing people have a stable population in winterstown. it's how they get away with having dairy in a climate too cold for holstsurs.

>>45367166
>lie down on couch
>ultrawan just sits on you
>cant move anymore

>>45367322
Should've put a blanket on, she saw you shivering slightly and rushed to help

>>45367322
What I wouldn't give to be sat on by a wan.
So soft. So warm. So lewd.

>>45367458
How does kiki butt compare to hound butt?

>>45367122
how could you?
man I've got quite the backlog

I want miss lich to kill me and then revive me using only her ass.

>tfw no southern gator gf

>>45367513
I said the bad ones, not the good ones.

>>45367551
She will speak like a fr*g, you don't want that.

>>45367513
cute snek. would bruminate with.

>>45367609
no way, she will speak creole
not frog
also french aint bad

Consider french demons

How about we speak about Germans instead?

The french get a bad rap.
There's no use in bullying when we could be making friends.

>>45367618
french is a really ugly language, its the language of barbarians

>>45367642
>T. French wight

I had an idea from that talk about a slime being studied in a lab from last thread, I bet she'd love it and treat it like a vacation. She gets free water and nutrients, a nice tank that she can blob out in and not worry about maintaining her form, and a cute scientist boy constantly touching her and taking her slime.

Nice samefagging french nigger. How about you kill yourself before I get you

>>45367640
No.

>>45367640
the german kikis always sound very mad at me, even when they attempt to praise me, they are scary....

>>45367632
>Has a long scarf
>"Mon loulou"
>Always smoking
>Complains about the big city a lot, has a nice countryside home
>Really good at kissing
>Doesn't shower much

What would be the best way to set up a story in a human city where the portals had opened a couple years back, without mentioning any spacific names. Describing all of that seems cumbersome for a small introduction, as the actual city doesn't matter? Do i just explain the setup in the description in AO3?

>>45367687
Just don't give it a name, it's not like people who live in a town constantly refer to the name of the town they live in.

>>45367687
Have monsters and humans walking around doing normal things together.
Mention the occasional monster or human wearing fantasy clothing or speaking in a strange language, presumably tourists or travellers.
You could have people from the human city using magic, or commenting on what the demon lord said recently on the radio etc.
At worst you can exposition dump from a character conversation about what they were doing during the portals opening.

Monster girls dressed appropriately for the weather!

What not getting a picture does to a retard.

>>45367704
>>45367687
If you want to be really to the point, you can just say something like
>"In the years since the portals opened, MC has found/done/thought..."
or
>"The monsters, who arrived from the portals opening x years ago, were..."

People are already somewhat familiar with portals/monsters being in the modern setting, so you only need a few sentences/details for people to know what you're talking about. Anything more is just stuff that will make your setting distinct and stand out against others. Whether that's important to a short story is up to you.

>>45367731
I would still post images I like either way, friend.

>>45367699
The name is not the issue, i want to put the reader in the situation where the portals have opened and mgs have more or less integrated to society.
And when they understand what type of world it is, go from the global situation to the city the story takes place, and from there the university in that city, that has been remodeled to accomodate both monstergirls and humans.
>>45367704
>>45367748
Ill see what i can do.

>>45367788
You are overthinking it.

>>45367788
Sounds exciting anon, I can't wait to read it.
If you want any feedback or advice, feel free to ask.

>tfw no winegote to drink coffee liquor with

>>45367804
>Sounds exciting anon
It's not that interesting. Writing that made me realize i did very little with that setting specifically. Having MGs in a University would open up possibilites for magical libraries and humans studying magic while mgs study our ``boring´´ subjects. Maybe ill get to incorporate some of it thanks to this threads feedback.

hag wurm with southern accent
imagine

>>45367788
>i want to put the reader in the situation where the portals have opened and mgs have more or less integrated to society
The reader will pick up on that if you show this by what the characters observe. Even something as simple as the characters taking a booth at a restaurant and noting some of the other couples present indicates to the reader that there is some level on integration. Show not tell, sometimes. Does that make sense?

it sucks that to read classic writefairy literature requires a magnifying glass and a pair of fine tweezers to turn the miniature pages.

post a fun story you like

>>45367932
Why not just shrink yourself?

>>45367932
It's so a writefairy can spend time with you reading the stories and poems out loud.

>>45367942
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584567/chapters/64815001
I may be getting it mixed up with something else though.

Need a little help
cant find my old hardrive backups so most of the art I've collect of selene over the years has gone limbo
help a brother out and post some?

>>45367959

>>45367162
More like Obaphomet

I need your snuggliest wan

>>45367949
But anon, how can I trust she isn't embellishing the story and adding her own biases and interpretations?
I imagine she is a very good narrator though. What other monster could you hire to narrate an audiobook or documentary?
>>45367947
Nice try, pixie. But if I do that I'll get plapped.

>>45367963
american cat

>>45365265

>>45367989
>But anon, how can I trust she isn't embellishing the story and adding her own biases and interpretations?
Why wouldn't you trust an expert in this field? One that really likes you on top of that?
>What other monster could you hire to narrate an audiobook or documentary?
Phantom, of course. Gandharva must have a really pleasant voice too.

>>45368031
I would love to hear a phantom radio drama. Though I'm sure writefairy has excellent diction too, no monster can match a phantom's gravitas.

>>45368020
I'd like a waifu who lived in a sword.

>>45367997
As a burger myself, I welcome americanized monster girls.

Writefairy gets bored so she sits on a record on a turn table and goes for a ride.

>>45367989
>What other monster could you hire to narrate an audiobook or documentary?
>Titania
>Hatter
>Phantom
>Dark priest
>Dhampir
>Hakutaku?
I also want to hear a pharaoh playing Dear Vader in Star Whores.

The Wan van
They drive around the city looking for a man to capture
It has "free BBQ" scratched out on one side and a "hot dogs!" sign on another

>>45368081
>Titania would make for a good storybook/fairy tail narrator
>Hatters are prime documentary material.
>Phantom audio dramas
>Dark priest televangelism
>Dhampir podcast about why she hates her mother and the world is controlled by vampires (mainly her mother also)
>Haku does educational broadcasts
Sports commentators though?
>Salamander
>Cockatrice
>Onis

>>45365349
I want to make the pharaoh a mummy

>>45368087
This is pretty cool

>>45365699
It must feel amazing to have no exposure to mamano mana and have sex with a lilim. Like overdosing on heroin when you've never done drugs but in a fun way. Instant mind and body break

>>45368095
I can see a hatter landing somewhere between Attenborough and Ze Frank. Entertaining, educational, a bit silly, but all buttery smooth.
>Sports
This is a job for the vanilla lizardman. Still plenty passionate, but more technical than a sally might be.

>>45368128
Lizardman
>Nice play by Hellwan, who passes it down the wing and... is blocked by the gnome goal keeper.
Sally
>HELLWAN NOW ON THE BALL. ON THE BALL. LIKE A MAGIC FIREBALL THROUGH THE DEFENDERS, SHREDDING THEM WITH THE INTENSITY EXPECTED OF A FIRE MONSTER - I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT SHE DOES TO HER HUSBAND IN BED!"

>>45367989
>What other monster could you hire to narrate an audiobook or documentary?
A siren, at the risk of them using it to enslave and mesmerize a bunch of people.
They come real cheap as voice actors though.

>>45367668
I could be the Dirlewanger to her Warsaw

>>45368141
>Lizardman
That was a lich.

>>45368141
Mad Hatter
>And now, the mantis, having picked out her husband, will engage in furious mating as a display of her quite, muted affections.
Phantom
>YOU WOULDN'T WANT ONE OF THESE BUGS IN YOUR BACK YARD
>THE MANTIS GIRL MIGHT LOOK LIKE A QUIET GIRL FROM SCHOOL, BUT THIS HORNY COCK SUCKER IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH
>THIS LITTLE MAN DOESNT KNOW WHAT'S WATING FOR HIM. THE FURY OF THE MANTIS MATING PRESS IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED
>WATCH AS SHE SMOTHERS HIS FACE IN HER TITS.
>THAT MAN
>'TIS
>HERS

Oh fuck. I know what would be good to write! mommydom!
Not sure what girl though. Maybe hellhound?

>>45368196
Mommy dom with fox hag. Bonus points for baby talk

>>45368196
Demons will always be good for that, but a yeti is more seasonal.

Dare you enter her magical realm?

>>45368235
Don't Dead Open Inside?
These girls really need to work on their grammatical structure.

>>45368244
Syntax. It's called syntax.

>>45368248
dumb cow that's a blank piece of paper

>>45368251
You need more Insight to see what is written on it
Acquire more Insight by visiting the Antarctican Tea Society, their club room is in the school's belltower (shared with the Batnap Club)

>>45368248
Oh, so now they're trying to tax sins?
Good luck government, I ain't paying no matter how many Takus you send.

>>45368248
Sin tax, you say?

>>45368269
>>45368274
Oi! 'ave you got a loisence for them sins you're committing, then?

>>45368259
>Get passed between a sleepy batcat, a merry hatter and a tea loving yeti
not a bad way to get insight

>>45368248
>>45368251

>>45367652
Imagine tsundere tirading from a loliwight in a french-like accent.

>>45368284
sorry chesh. you can shitpost about bri'ish all you like but you know deep down in your heart that you are a bong.

>>45368285
>Tea loving yeti
100% chance there's brandy in that.

>>45368248
https://files.catbox.moe/rv5gv6.png

>>45368297
Gotta be careful with posts like this, they've been known to cause some troubles.

>>45367942
I'll do you one better. I offered to pick someone some gems in our old pastebin authors and here are my recommendations:
ELH, Frosticle, Lanternon, Silent_II, RSanon.

All of which can be accessed in the archive. I ended up downloading the whole thing last night so let me know if anyone wants something posted somewhere else. There's plenty more, so I can keep them coming!

>>45368297
finally.
chesh has been made cringe.

>>45367983
You can't handle the snuggliest wan. You might never want to leave the bed again.

>>45368325
>And from that day she would whine and winge
>For now it was cheshire who had become cringe.

>>45368314
We need a flying lizard (not a dragon)

>>45367959
Did you check the lilim archive in the info up top? I can

>>45368323
Man, I remember when Lanternon's story was the new hotness.

>>45368328
You might.

>>45368297
>Chesh in a union jack two-piece bikini
oh lord...

>>45368346
Dude, fuck. me too. I wish he had finished. I wouldn't enjoy it so much now since I no longer care for the dark stuff, but I miss him. One of the greats.

>>45368340
>>45367959
I can help later if you don't find what you're looking for.

>>45365738
Baphomet

barfoshet are small and ugly.
get a gremlin.

ded

>>45368274
FUCk, why haven't I seen this before? Is this new?

American alice

I just went to be smothered by fat blueberry ass

I'm going to trick the demon into signing my contract that dictates no sex

Demonpostin'.

>>45368589
>Date: over 6 years ago
No.

why does religion live rent free in a demon's head?
I am going to take the blueberry to an order church and get her baptised and that WILL be written in the contract if she wants cuddles.

>>45368628
>pubes

Based. Would love to give her a mustacheride.

>>45368631
Huh. I'm almost 100% it's not in the archive unless I've managed to miss it several times.

>>45368657
Maybe he was blacklisted.

>>45368657
>>45368662
Nope. It's there. #55. Fuck me.
Well hey, on the bright side I have a piece of art to be excited about.

I want to be sexually harassed and exploited by my demon boss. I want to be threatened with getting fired so I'll be forced to stay silent about it and be made to perform sex acts on her in exchange for bonuses and pay raises.

>>45368678
If a demon flaunted herself in front of me, or tried to corrupt me and seduce me, or started talking about her supreme cunning and intellect, I'd use her contract as a tissue to blow my nose with.

I'm working on a theory that all the tanukis running the item shops are sisters.
There's no other way to explain why they look so similar.

>>45368196
Hellhound rape!

>>45368678
That's a bit less wholesome than I'd prefer, but whatever makes you happy.

I'd like to see a hellhound or manticore rape me after i inject raging mushroom juice right into my veins

I want to be bullied by a monstergirl and then get laughed at when she notices me getting a boner from it.

>>45367458
>Whomp!

>>45368766
where's her panties goin?

Someone really needs to take Dr. Lich aside and give her a stern talking-to.

>>45368678
I think if a monster boss tried to do that I would simply rape her. Not out of anger, but lust for OLs.

Ok but imagine now your monster suitor just made you slow cooked ribs - and all you need to do is kiss the cook to get them

>>45366304
Fun fact: assuming elves age proportionally to humans and live for about five hundred years, telling one you can live on your own because you're twenty would be like telling a human that four years old is a perfectly acceptable age to leave home.

>>45368880
Counterpoint

I need a handful of monster girls sworn to my service that I'll tease by not having sex with them and instead worrying aloud when I'm alone with them about not having heirs to carry on my dynasty. They'll get so pent up that I'll walk into random areas of my home and find them presenting themselves to me.

>walk into the stable
>Ojou lady knight Centaur raises her skirt to reveal her horse pussy
>tells me her noble blood will bear me a strong heir and many more beyond if I so desire
>walk into my office
>Ochimusha samurai bodyguard drops her trousers and sits on my desk with her legs open
>tells me that she may not be of noble blood but I have need of heirs and she WILL provide them
>walk into the kitchen
>former rogue Kikimora's skirt is shorter than usual
>bends over while wiping down the stove to expose the fact she's not wearing any panties before remarking aloud that there must be a solution to my heir troubles
>walk into my bedroom
>Hellhound huntswoman is naked and laying on her back
>tells me to get in bed now or else she'll force me to fill her with my first heir on the bedroom floor
>walk into study
>Ratatoskr spy is pretending, very poorly, to be distracted by maps of the local area and reports
>she's completely naked and keeps bending over to expose her butt while wiggling her tail from side to side while peeking into a mirror strategically placed to give her line of sight on the door

One day. One. Day.

>>45368127
Lims prefer it this way. A boy whose first time is with one will never be able to think of anything or anyone else - total mindbreak.

Lims are overhyped because monsters respect their mother.
Lims are not attractive, not magically gifted, not powerful and are massive dorks.
It's the emperors clothing. I could beat druella in a fight.

>>45368880
elves look like that???

>>45368922
>Anon, just hours before being found mind-broken in a lilim's bed and covered in lipstick marks

>>45368922
Lims are nothing but NEETs who would pass out from shock at the first sight of a real man's cock and balls. On the plus side, it makes them easy to tame and then mold into whatever flavor you want. They'll even help you nab some of their sisters if you order them to! So weak. So pathetic. I'll take six.

>>45368945
not mindbroken from a lim tho
>Lilim walks in on her kiki maid and anon making out in her bed
>"O-oh... w-w-what are you doing here?" she mumbles
>Anon gets up and throws lilim into bed
>Rapes her while kiki rapes him

>>45368971
>Rapes her while kiki rapes him
I have questions.

>>45368971
I hope the Kiki is raping him by hopping onto his shoulders, locking his head between her thighs and forcing him to eat her out. Otherwise, we've got problems.

>>45368984
>>45368991
Nothing wrong with a nice strapon. I'd happily be the meat in that sandwich.

>>45369001
>>>/trash/
Back to your containment septic tank

>>45365265
Pocket foxes.

What if lilim wanted to have sex with you in her parent's bed, in secret?
Obviously, they won't be there at the time,

>>45369018
I'm good, thanks.

>wight when you didn't give her anything or confess to her on Valentine's because you thought she is way out of your league.

>>45369041
You want to annoy a cupid? That's a good way to get an arrow in the back.

>>45368942
When left alone in a forest long enough with a diet rich in wheat, potatoes, and milk? Yes.

>>45369032
No that's gross. Instead, I'll put her over their kitchen table.

>>45369041
All monster girls are out of my league

>>45369041
This but completely avoiding contact with her in the first place.

>>45368619
Good thing the one thing monster girls can’t do is rape a human with the ass

>>45369041
Stuff like this is why the human correction index has been steadily increasing despite measures form the DL.

>>45368880
I agree. This means humans should suck elf tits for decades. If the human pops a boner this gives the elf legal grounds for nursing handjobs

>>45368880
>tfw your elven momster still thinks you are too old to sleep alone at 20 and is surprised that you can get a boner so young when she hugs you close like usual

monster parts (tentacles, fingers, magic, roper, ivy etc.) up your butt, yes or no?

>>45369192
Not really a fan of that to be honest.

What would evil kikis be like?

>>45369038
Is that even /trash/? You can probably find it on /d/.
Come on anon. Don't spread that stuff to us good folk on /trash/.

>>45369192
Shog tickles my prostate

>>45369192
I've okay with it as long as it's gentle and for the purpose of pleasure. Miss me with all the humiliation shit.

>>45369192
You have plenty of boards for homosexuals to choose from, pick one and go there to be gay.

>>45369215
I think if the portals ever did open you would still manage to find a way to be unhappy and angry. let anons love their waifus.

>>45369192
I've no problem with it in theory. I've never experienced it but I quite like the idea of rimjobs too.

>>45369215
https://monstergirlencyclopedia.miraheze.org/wiki/Tentacle_Forest
you will get violated by tentacles and then do the same to anyone else who comes into your forest.

>the raiders are already crawling out of the woodwork to mass reply to their own
Gay shit belongs in /d/ and /trash/

>>45369248
The tentacle forest is just a hivemind for a hag tentacle tree, she’s waiting for (You).

>>45369252
You know apparently KC doesn't consider cait sith a monster girl? I read that on the archives looking for something else.

>>45369248
Nice place for a vacation, but I'd imagine ling there would get old really quick.

>>45369267
>You know apparently KC doesn't consider cait sith a monster girl?
Yeah, I'm gonna need a source on that

>>45368947
Just how I like my elves

>>45369283
Imagine seriously replying to schizo mick

>>45369283
>>/jp/thread/13954600#p13961024
>>/jp/thread/13471602#p13476142
It was said in the thread so it must be true.

>>45369270
I'm gonna spank it.

>>45369281
I'll watch the tentacles from afar, maybe get my wife to take a picture of us with the tentacles in the background.
Maybe a T-Shirt and fridge magnet that says, 'I love the tentacle forest!'

Titty tit tit.

>>45369281
the fringes of the forest seem pretty wholesome. can have picnics and shit and pet the tentacle brains

>>45369301
I want to kiss bird tit

I’d rather go to the demon realm beast zoo instead of the tentacle forest with my wife, maybe cause mayhem on the way by freeing the giant animals from the zoo for fun.

>>45369301
Why is she always sitting in my birb bath?
dumby big butt birb splsahes all the water out and now no normal birbs can use it.
silly birb too big.

>>45369270
I'm gonna french kiss it

>>45369301
I'm afraid I have no counter to this well-constructed argument.

nature getting in touch with you

>>45369312
ill just fall into the jinko pit with the suspiscious lack of handrails and gating around it

>>45368763
Offer to do the cute dark elf's homework

>>45369320
>Suspicious number of pits:
>jinkos, yetis, manticores, tentacle girls, and more
>Distinct lack of handrails. Only a velocity spell so you fall gentle as a feather
>All the girls in them are single
I'm sure it's fine

>>45369320
OSHAs not going to like this

>>45369320
That would be kinda weird, where you have mostly regular giant animals in your zoo then in one of the exhibits you just have a Jinko exclosure for some odd reason. They probably fund the zoo the most so the zoo compromised with them and made a area for the Jinkos where they can lure in men by putting them in a false sense of security saying they’re endangered and need men to continue their bloodline.

I want a shire horse centaur so she can crush me with her horse butt.

>>45369344
>>45369358
>Volunterer to be a zoo keeper for a day
>It's free
>Apparently subsidised by church of eros
>You mistakenly assume couples do it
>First task is to feed jinko
>"So it's been a while since they were fed?" you ask the chesh supervisor
>"Yup. They're ravenous! Look at them paw at the walls of the pit!"
>"Can't they just go home?" you ask.
>Chesh pulls her collar. "They uh... like the pit more than their apartments in the city?"
>"Oh. So how do they get out?"
>"I'm glad you asked!" she chirps.
>*Thump*
>Last thing you see as you fall before getting swarmed by jinko fluff is chesh waving you goodbye

>>45369358
>sign for th petting zoo pointing one way
>heavy petting zoo pointing the other
hmm

>>45369366
>Only way for jinkos to get over spaghetti is to fill a pit with them and throw a man in there so they literally can't avoid physical contact with him

>>45369288
I'm here forever.

>>45366908
Source?

>been playing lots of Frostpunk lately
Who pissed off the Ice Queen in that world anyway

>>45369301
Ah, the elusive Black-feathered Booby

>first day at the office

>>45369364
She has big tits so you can pretend you are only into her for her big tits.

>>45366304
Fix your prompt

>>45369192
No, it's for alps.
I hope you don't bring that up here anymore.

>>45369401
Have you tried looking at the filename and using that to infer where to search? God damn.

>>45369521
I wish I could find my cait sith tentacle greentext now.

>>45369366
>>*Thump*
Kek.
This was good. Thanks anon.
Eros sends her regards

>>45368235
yes, and im going in with the intent to make friends

>>45369318
Help! HELP! I'm being touched by the grass!

>>45369569
All flesh is grass

>>45369192
probably not, but if it makes her happy id do it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51902983

I wrote a gen Z pyrow and bitter millenial mc story.

>>45369599
Will read tomorrow.

>>45369599
the first paragraph reads like something a real hfy fag would say, that's cool

I will not lose to Jinkos

>>45369620
Never once has this been said by someone not fated to be defeated and fucked by the monster they claimed they would not lost to. You fool.

>Hug a tree
>it hugs you back

>>45369630
Not him but I consider being raped by a Jinko a win.

>>45369620
It's okay to let go anon. Let a nice monster girl save you from yourself. It's better this way.

i want her to leg lock me while she energy drains me and looks me in the eyes while looking smug about the pleasure shes giving me and how overwhelmed i look

>>45368081
>Hellhound but she has the voice of Morgan Freeman

>>45369456

Milk
its legal

>>45369620
>>45369630
I will lose to Jinkos.

I will NOT be defeated by the stinky dorky NEET Lilims. They will NOT force me to be their forever DM. They will NOT force me to sit on their laps. They will NOT force me to give them lap pillows. They will NOT force me to cuddle. They will NOT force me to take part in their all-night LAN parties.

I will NEVER be defeated.

>>45369706
That’s just inflation get that gross shit out of here, shit is abominable.

>>45369738
You are going to get full body paizuri.

>>45369738
>Inflation
The creeping coins and danukis just soaked their panties

>>45369270
these boats are getting out of hand

>>45369736
How many times must we teach you this lesson, anon?

>>45369706
Finally, a holstaur with barely-acceptable milk output.

>>45369795
>anon keeps annoying the cupids because he likes the post-arrow extra lovey-dovey cuddle sex
Clever boy.

>>45369706
I see that the farm sabbath has been experimenting with new bio-weapons for increased harvest yields

>>45369815
>>45369795
H-h-how did you know?!

>>45369736
It's all fun and games until lilim invites her wurm friend to game night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2XGp5ix8HE

>>45369826
Eros sees into the hearts of all.
It remains to be seen if the cupids are quite as knowing or just playing along.

Gremlin!
Gremchan!
Gremmers!
Grembo!
Gremalambam!
Gremmy!
Little G!

>>45369850
Gazebo?

>>45369850
GremChamp!

>>45369850
Grem, Gremm and Gremmy

>human: I’m strong
>also human: w-wait wan with a fattass- I MEAN WITH A MODERATELY BIGGER THAN AVERA- fuwaaaa (he instantly came the moment she sat on his lap and his dick lodged between her soft asscheeks)

>>45369599
It's difficult to read, the main character is relatable in his suffering, and the self sabotaging and destructive behavior made it hard for me to read through without pausing.
But I guess if you write something that causes a reaction like that, it is definitely good. So I'm thinking it's a solid story. Good job Legitwho.

It is my duty to make a dork lim even more useless!

>>45369850
Gesundheit?

>>45369850
Sweaty...

>>45369887
Haven't read it yet (working) but now I'm extremely interested. Always neat when you can write something believable enough to cause a reaction like that.
>>45369599
Thanks anon! I'll be reading later.

>>45369599
One of my favorite concepts recently and also seconding >>45369887

>>45369884
Is the dog truly man's best friend? Or is man dog's best seat?

>>45369527
Thanks.

>>45369901
give up the gremlin!
give them to me!

Need lapcat

>>45369918
>I want to kill you
I knew monsters were evil

>>45369918
If that tail smacks me in the face again I'm grabbing it.

>>45369850
do not feed them after

>>45369918
Shit, she wants to kite with me? But I don't even have a kite, she'll have to bring one herself.

Had a dream. I lived in a mansion in MGC. The owner was my adoptive mom/big sister and caretaker that looked like a busty Alice from the Wonderland. And we had two maids: a Shog and a Kiki.
Alice was overjoyed we were living together but concerned with the concept of refractory period so since she was busy with work (Shog muttered she was just gonna flex she got a human), she left the maids in charge of (You)r ejaculation training in her stead
So you’d basically be milked senseless dawn to night, from waking up on bed spooned by one of them, to the sponge bath, to their feet while lunching at the table, to handjobs watching a movie adaptation of Zelda TOTK etc.
That was it. I also think the maid that wouldn’t be milking you while they alternated it would film it and send Alice a footage so she could flex at work

Deep rape galactic - A game where you control 4 gremlins (cause fuck dwarves) who are infiltrating a bunker of various hags to steal their books, cookies, precious metals and other assorted gremlin memoribilia.
Watch out for wurms, foxes, sabbath members, and boogs on your journey into their deep underground dungeons and complexes.
Use your vast arsenal of comedic weaponry to foil the hags - such as your mirror gun, which forces the hag to look at their sad, pathetic life long enough for you to make a get away!

>>45369915
Man are all slaves to dogs, indocrinated over generations to rub their bellies and let them on your lap

>>45369599
Thanks for the story, I liked it! Thirding >>45369887 and also pedantically pointing out two parts where you got the wrong pronouns.
>when I spotted his boyfriend with a knife.
>That shitty hag and his shitty lover.
>>45369611
Not enough jingoistic arrogance for an average HFYfag there though.

>>45369945
I'd make a funny post about other 4 man coop game I'm playing, but unfortunately it belongs to a certain IP known for its miniatures and I don't want to summon bad spirits.

>>45369953
There are already enough fat guys here. Don't summon more. They might have shit taste.

>Dorktide
Oops! All Lims!

>>45369961
Playing dark tide with my waifu
She makes me play ogryn always.
It's perfect for a tom like me.

>>45369945
Gremlins are the scattiest, most harebrained, all over the place monsters and I love them for it.
They seem the type to build a dark matter inspired warhead underneath a tavern because they refused to serve them.

>>45369961
I meant the Vixentide, the one where you and your 3 friends try to make through the fantasy scenery unmarried by the hordes of undead and beastgirls.

>>45369966
More like Lims, Dragons, Manticores, Wights, Vampires and other serious big shot wannabe dorks.

>>45369738
No? That's just giant boobs/chounyuu. Get the fetish straight if you're going to get mad over it.

>>45369945
>Gremlins raid sabbath complex for cookies
>Attract butthurt baphs and imps
>Will also lure soldier boogs into their tunnels if they take the apple candies
>Don't forget the slumbering wurms who just like the tickle of plasma-rays on their hard shells
>Entire time getting orders over earpieces from the uwaabomber - a begrudging ally with the short stacks against the sabbath menace

>>45369945
>fuck dwarves
Ok, someone's gotta.

>>45369945
MUSHROOM

>>45369979
I always thought it was a subgroup of inflation for the longest time, but I guess it would be more like a extremeifed body size fetish where the body parts are grown to a next level degree that goes against the laws of physics.

>>45369975
>AWOOOO!
Incoming!

>>45368910
One of the best parts of mge is that the pleasure is mutual. A lim may not show it but she feels the same immense pleasure from losing her v-card that her mate does

>>45369055
But it's true! Ms. Cupid's out of my league, too...

>>45370000
So that's where all those sweet tea cakes and cookies go.

>>45370079
awooo

>>45370079
Hellhound pack!

helplessly thrusting into a smug mamono's pussy as she further sends you into an aphrodisiac induced rut

>>45370137
>Survive the hounds
>One of the idiots triggers the deamon and gets carried off

>>45366908
Source?

>>45370259
It was revealed to me in a dream.

Raiju and gremlin are best friends!
And best friends put electric clips on each other's cheeks and tails to harness their electric potential!

>>45370271
Dream?

>>45369192
Yes.

>>45370283
She keeps appearing in my dreams, she speaks to me in an ancient language that I don't understand... But I think she is telling me that I am going to die

>>45370302
I can't get into school fantasy girls. I am too old.

>>45370314
I thought it was an older u get thing
Like golf

>>45369599
Readable, which is more than I can say for a lot of our amateur writers. If you want to keep writing I'm sure you'll end up a pretty good author.
Don't insert "Tch..." between lines. It sounds stupid.
Content was pretty good.

>>45370314
Embrace the age difference and get into JS monsters.

>>45370350
What's js?

>>45370314
Pyrow bait

>>45370253
>"...And if you just sign here~"
>"Wow! I can't believe it was this easy to get a GTX 4090!"
Anon you fool!

>>45370355
Japanese doujin meme abbrevations
>JK=high school girl
>JC=middle school girl
>JS=elementary school girl

>>45370350
>and get into JS monsters
Quite literally, yes

>>45370376
Fun fact: Demon pacts are free and consequenceless ways to get literally whatever you want. Need cash? Make a contract with a demon. Having trouble at work? Make a contract with a demon. Need help with schoolwork? Make a contract with a demon.
You literally don't even have to read the fine print, it's just free. Go sign a contract!

>>45370305
>Soft howling

>>45370381
I could do jc
Js seems a bit much unless we're are talking sataoko lvl of dev.

>>45370381
... Oh. Ew.

>>45370395
>get literally whatever you want
even...?

>>45370355
Javascript

>>45370413
Will kc ever do leprechauns?

>>45370395
>help with schoolwork
shotanon got his hands on 'how to summon demons for dummies'?

>>45370314
I got news for you then

>>45370428
Shortstacks literally made for rape correction.

>>45370395
Even a quick, painless death?

>>45370449
La petite mort, sure. It can be a quicky.

>>45370436
>shotanon dressed in the scariest summoner's robes he could find (last year's halloween costume)
>makes the circle and does the chant
>CC onee-sama demon appears in a cloud of smoke and brimstone
>starts cooing over him instead of obeying his every command

im just saying that, if a demon let me sniff the inside of her steamy boot, I'd sign her contract

>>45370467
I only speak English.

>>45370473
>Mom, dad! Meet my new friend! She's very nice and pretty!

>>45370482
Her breath smells like the fires of hell though.

>>45370482
Demon bait.
Anyone is demon bait if they figure out your kinks.
Gets written in the contract and you are putty in their hands.
Like giant asses? Demon bait
LIke huge tits? Demon bait
Foot freak degenerate? Demon bait

>Anon trying to tell some Zipangu foreign exchange student that someone like him isn't allowed to participate in her culture but he's flattered that she offered

>>45370502
>>45370482
Fuck off

>>45370400
I want to walk around extremely vulnerable on a full moon

>>45370517
So what you're saying is I should just start carrying around a cover letter containing my fetishes for any monster that asks?

>>45370402
>Js seems a bit much
All the girls in MGE are atleast part semen demon, rest assured that JS monster + adult human man is a great match.

>>45370529
We should try to rate every girls breath.

>>45370517
I'm into muscular women so I'm not Demon bait.

>>45370395
Hmmm... how do I know you're not a demon?

>>45370537
Ratas already got it, photocopied it, backed it up AND made a laminate version!

>>45370555
The ideal girl has these traits
>gainful employment
>high aspirations
>confident
>about waist high
>good to snuggle in bed

>>45370535
>Anon goes for one of his famous "Nighttime forest strolls"
>Encounters all kinds of fascinating and wonderful Cryptid Monsters on his trails.
>He always makes sure to introduce himself and try to get an interview out of them.

>monster tries to confess to a man
>just gives her a sad smile and thanks her for the joke
Who responds to this transgression first? The Extremists or an Eros cultist?

>walk around the forest at night
>hear a deep howl
>get scared
>trip and fall in a panic
>foot fucked, can barely walk
>the hag hound approaches
Anon was promptly dragged to the hag den and sat on

>>45370535
I'm perfectly safe walking alone at night. These damn dogs need to leave me alone

>>45370656
>who responds first
>eros extremists or eros extremists
Anon you seem to be a little confused

>>45370668
All monsters look the same to me

>>45370661
Yeah, but they see you don't have a dog while alone in the forest, and automatically volunteer to be your guard-wife. Its written in the state forestry department guidelines, don't you know? Written to stop people getting snatched up by mean bigfoot aliens and instead by nice woodland creatures.

>>45370656
Yes.

>>45370612
How long would I last, being optimistic?

>>45370722
If a woman hasn't already got her eye on you? You should be fine. But if you're just some lonely man going on a lonesome walk? You won't last an hour.

Krampus is coming…
Thanksgiving and Halloween have met with a - how should I say - unfortunate end?
You can’t stop her now…
All you naughty boys better lock up your windows and brick up your chimneys, cause it’s all going to come crashing down.
When Christmas gote comes to town…

>>45370743
I don't have a chimney and no openable windows
I am unbeatable.

>>45370612
>"Ah, well, that time I was on the news? I heard about the snacks Humans have in those places where 'Cars' stop to drink. They're all so colorful and tasty looking, I just had to try some."
>So you did this at night, where there was only a scared young cashier?
>"I didn't mean to cause any harm, I just panicked, grabbed as much as I could carry then ran back into the trees."
>They caught you on the CCTV, you made quite a mess of the place.
>"S-Sorry, I lost control for a moment..."

>>45370656
Immediate eros dark matter bombing

>>45370743
Eh, a Krampus wouldn't be interested in me. None of those holidays mean much to me either, I'm either too old or don't have anyone to spend it with.

>>45370711
There's no such thing as bigfoot or aliens. They're myths perpetuated by big wan to force men to have canines with them at all times

>Be son and heir to the Oni Triad
>Want to go out on my own
>Mom assigns me Oni body guards
>No longer interested in going outside
>Spend all day in my bedroom with my Oni bodyguards

need a monster that just chomps right into me and dosent let go until shes satisfied.

Your eats half of a giant realm monster but you're out of tinfoil for leftovers.
What do you do?

>>45370786
Loser

>>45370786
>>45370758
>*knock nock*
>Anon, open up ze door right now
>*KNOCK KNOCK*
>I know that you are in there anon
>*SMASH SMASH*
>Open ze door anon!
>*SMASH CRASH SMASH*
>OPEN UP THE DOOR. ITS THE LITTLE SAINT NICK YOUR FUCKING VIRGINITY YOU NAUGHTY BOY! I SAW YOU PIRATE THOSE MOVIES! I SEE EVERYTHING! NOW OPEN THE DOOR OR BY THE HAIRS OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN ILL HUFF AND PUFF AND-
>*Silence*
>Anon, this is the Christmas gote of good will! You are a very good boy who deserves a present of uh… that game you like and um… figgy pudding! Just open up the door for me so I can give you your dues!
>Please…
>*silence*
>Anon this is your mother outside! Won’t you let me in from the cold dear
>*silence*
>bah humbug. I can wait. And on that twelfth day of Christmas you better be prepared…

>>45370395
Bullying demons by endlessly reviewing the contract and demanding alterations with no intention of signing

>>45370743
Would you rather the krampus, the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, one of Santa's elves, or and Alraune covered in mistletoe

>>45370883
I will open the door and pull her onto the couch before covering her in a pile of blankets
Followed by hot chocolate and headpats

>>45370901
That's a correctin'

>>45370848
Nobody ever mentions the bruises from getting accidentaly bonked by a monster's huge horns.

>>45365265
>tsurara kunoichi is closing in
>space heater is starting to fail
>frost is getting closer
It's so over bros...

>>45370932
bruises are a lucky outcome when talking about horn related incidents.

>>45370939
Looks like it's just starting

>Take dark mage's potion
>She warns me not to drink it
>Pfffft what is the worst that could happen? Turning into a kid? I don't care.
>I drink it
>I start shrinking
>Shota potion, how original
>I am still shrinking
>I am now the size of a fairy