/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>44781351
I ask her if she can repeat herself because I kind of spaced out for a second.

Kill me if you must, but it will not change a thing. Those pictures are gone, and they'll be all over Gensokyo before my corpse is cold.
You may end my life, but I have already won.

>>44781351
Are you aware of how much I want to fuck an older woman miss Yukari?
I mean it, I am a weirdo who likes that kind of thing.
I don't care what you have going on, saggy, fat, hell you could have a whole forest down there and I'd still want to do you.
If you want to eat me, I can't stop you, but I'm, just gonna shoot my shot now in case you want to take me up on that.

>>44781351
At the very least, there's something after death. Maybe this makes dying not that bad.

>>44781351
You sound hungry
Eat something nice, not Youmu's ghost
I did it because the border called to me.

>>44781351
I don't care, weird high schooler girl.

>>44781351
me no speak engrish! prease repeat misto Yukari-sama!

>>44781351
tl;dr, hag

>>44781351
ok, I still think you're cute though

That's a better fate than paying taxes. Plus, i won't mind dying

>>44781351
Better than being a slave of the machine here in the human world. And death is just changing your adress to the afterlife.

>>44781351
At least I'd die in an interesting way.

>>44781351
Y-you too!

>>44781351
I will kiss you, Maribel.

>>44781351
"And that, kids, was the first time I met your mother."

>>44781351
>How does it feel to know that your worthless life is bound to end here soon in Gensokyo, anon? How does it feel to know that I brought you to a whole new world of fantasy just to be a snack for creatures beyond your imagination like me? You got dropped out of the harshness of real life into this place full of opportunity where you could have lived in peace just to die a horrible death anyway. That's all you are here, just an animal for the slaughter. I'm going to eat you, and I may not even kill you first before I do, I might just tear your jugular out with my teeth to see you squirm and choke on your own blood, just because I think it would be funny is all.
PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP

>>44782141
And now you have to explain why exactly Yukari would do a 180 on her intentions and allow you to get to this point, realistically.

>>44781351
Yukari Yakumo, does it feel to know that with my last breath I curse you. Upon you my death curse shall weigh as a cloud of doom, and it shall bring you down into darkness and despair. Wherever you go, evil shall arise. Whenever you speak, your words shall bring ill counsel. Whatsoever you do shall turn against you. You will die without hope, cursing both life and death.

>>44783125
That would ruin the humor coming from juxtaposition. Or more accurately, I'm not that creative.

>>44781351
I don't think young girls like you should be talking like that.

>>44783125
She was just being tsundere

>>44781351
GO GO GADGET MURDER YUKARI

>>44781351
shaddap, MERIBEL

you may know my secrets, but I know yours! I doubt that you're hungry for humans, that's Rumia's thing. You're more likely being a cunt for the sake of trying to make me hate you, and give up in favour of returning to the outside world! I REFUSE! My knowledge of discrete mathematics and real analysis totally has an application in a world stuck in Meiji-era Japan! Just you wait, the humans will be stunned!

>>44781351
Three mistakes, lady. I know your name. You brought me here as a guest under false pretenses. You admitted as much, and gave me time to say I know so. Want to make a fourth?

>>44783125
She was lying, like she always does.
Suika calls her "lonely" and a dork who can't communicate well in Lotus Eaters.

>>44783643
Yukari never tells lies. She's an honest and open sage!

>>44781351
I drop my pants and start pumping my cock with reckless abandon all while never breaking eye contact

>>44781351
I roll for seduction

>>44781351
Eating me won't make those fried-egg-on-a-nail tits of yours any less saggy, granny.
>dabs

>>44781351
Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust! Dusty old bones full of green dust!

W-wait! I can pay you money!bI've got COINS!

>>44781351
I don't care how much you threaten me, I still won't have sex with you.

>>44781351
I'll come back as a Vengeful Spirit and humiliate you in front of all Gensokyo you old hag.

>>44781351
I already killed myself once. Nothing you can do to me will even register as pleasure or pain.

That sure is a lot of edgelords larping phrases they wouldn't actually say on the bold assumption any of them are brave enough to speak in the first place.

>>44786039
I am autistic enough to quote the Silmarillion at people I know IRL, I know myself well enough to know I'd keep quoting Tolkien right up until someone cuts my throat.

>>44786039
I have nothing left to lose, I don't want to die a virgin and the gap granny has just kidnapped me, where you see problems I see solutions.

>>44786079
I’m not going to lie, that’s both cool and dorky at the same time. Yukari might be amused by it at any rate.
You know, before she probably rapes and/or eats you.

>>44786039
>edgelords
Lmao, it's not like they're threatening to kill Yukari or anything. "Desperately horny anons" is more accurate.

t. A desperately horny Anon.

>>44781351
i think yukari SUCKS

>call her cute with utmost sincerity
>look down
>accept death

>>44781351
At least i do not have to work.

>>44781351
If you are ever encountered face to face with a Youkai always remember this one rule: Youkai feed on fear, therefore, courage is poison to them. Prove that Youkai woman you aren't afraid by locking eyes with her and kissing her right on the lips. She will be stunned and you can legally and morally take her as your wife.

>>44781351
>it would be funny is all
Miss Yakumo's language would never be so brutish and unrefined!

The only biting Yukari is going to do is leaving lovebites all over anon's neck!
>>44790567
To be honest, even if this were true, I agree with that other anon: Miss Yukari can be as wonderful as she can be threatening, and I would be quite scared if she said something like that to me.
Maybe she knows this and just wants to see how cute anon looks when he is scared.

>>44781351
"Hell, I'm not actually that hungry, I think I'll kill you just for fun. These gaps are very versatile you know. Maybe I'll interrupt the airflow to your lungs and watch you turn purple on the floor. I could trap you in a gap until the incomprehensible sights cause your feeble human mind to break and make you claw your own eyes out, that'll be an entertaining few hours. Oh, I have a great idea! I'll gap your internal organs to a group of feral youkai and make you watch as they smack around and eat your guts! Perhaps if you begged for mercy from this great youkai I could be more-"
"H-hey! Anon, you're laughing again! What do you mean I'm being 'over the top'? That last one isn't ridiculous, it would be extremely painful! No, I won't 'tone it down' even a little! This is supposed to be scary! Ran told me a lot of people enjoy this 'roleplaying' thing! But we can't do it if you can't control your-oh forget it we'll just watch something tonight. I'm picking! ...hurry up and get out the big blanket."
And then they watched some mediocre horror movie together. It was a good night.

>>44781351
Pic related is me describing how Yukari killed all the anons trying to bang her (I'm going to shoot my shot next)

>>44781351
Welp at least you were honest about your intentions, that's better then I have gotten in my life. The fact I've lived as long as I have is actually a miracle in and of itself and if this is how it is then it is what it is. I'll fight back and probably lose but at least I will have tried.

>>44781351
>Think fast chucklefuck!

>>44796074
This fucking manga gets more ridiculous every time I see a random panel from it. It's almost like a shitpost.

>>44781351
>You got dropped out of the harshness of real life into this place full of opportunity where you could have lived in peace
I would be miserable in Gensokyo and the place has no real opportunities anyway unless you believe in outdated canon. If my choices are "live in Gensokyo" or "death" I would pick death every time.

I would probably mock Yukari for creating a place so shitty that I would rather pick death. Then I would call her a friendless loser and tell her killing me won't make her any friends. Go out swinging and defiant.

>>44785137
Honestly, I would just repeat the IRS line.

>Pull out cross
>"The power of Christ compels you."
What would happen?

>>44796255
Depends how much faith you have, I think.

>>44796255
She grabs the cross then starts stroking and sucking it while making direct eye contact with you.

>>44796266
So, if you have enough faith you can get her to back off?

>>44796273
I mean, that is what would happen if I tried it.

>>44796284
>So, if you have enough faith you can get her to back off?
I think it's like being a priest in general where your holy symbol would be a neat anti-youkai weapon if you were faithful enough, but Christianity has little actual existence in Touhou so who knows. At the least, you might get Yukari treating you as an actual danger.

>>44796299
That does make sense. We know crosses don't do anything but faith is a massive weakness of youkai (I think even vampires?). Most likely any holy symbol imbued with faith a connection to god would suffice.

Now I'm imagining a Wiccan follower pulling out a pentacle and having Hecatia come pick them up while lecturing Yukari.

>>44796315
I wonder if Hecatia thinks Wiccans are cool or just a bastardisation of her real story.

>>44796359
Considering she dresses like a hot topic reject I think she's, if nothing else, mostly okay with her followers. She's got the whole big sis thing down pat anyway. Her actual story is a weird syncretic Greece fanfic anyway, I don't think we even really know her origin. I wonder if she still hangs out with Zeus or annoys Circe.

This lucky son of a bitch probably got to fuck Yukari.

>>44796359
Considering she dresses like a hot topic reject I think she's, if nothing else, mostly okay with her followers. She's got the whole big sis thing down pat anyway. Her actual story is also a weird syncretic Greece fanfic, I'm pretty sure it's not her original myth. Though I do like the idea of her still hanging out with Zeus or annoying Circe.

>>44796388
Talking about people who probably ended up as Yukari's meal:

It's probably more dignified than what actually happened to her.

>>44796236
>Then I would call her a friendless loser and tell her killing me won't make her any friends. Go out swinging and defiant.
When she smiles at you after making a remark that cuts deel and leaves you alone. Boundary manipulation so you never die or get into dangerous situations and are forced to live a miserable existence.

>>44797064
>Boundary manipulation so you never die or get into dangerous situations and are forced to live a miserable existence.
Why not just force feed me Mokou's liver if you are going to go that far? Using boundary manipulation just means I'm going to be gunning for Yukari for the rest of my now immortal existence.

Either way, I can probably just leave Gensokyo.

>>44797138
Not really immortal. She just warps reality so you never really die unless it's natural causes. Also not much you can do to stop. Ignore OP's gay post. Yukari isn't nearly this aggressive even with people she actually hates. Like Tenshi. She'll mess with you or whatever then bounce.

>>44797634
God I wish Yukari'd "mess" with me.

>>44797634
>Yukari isn't nearly this aggressive even with people she actually hates. Like Tenshi. She'll mess with you or whatever then bounce.
She likes me just fine, anon.

As sashimi, or perhaps a good ramen.

>>44797654
How would you like to be messed with by this gap hag?

Imagine snuggling Yukari tightly and making her happy

>>44797813
Teasing, petplay, frequents threats that she's going to eat me the moment I stop sexually pleasing her. The like.

>>44797654
Normally I'm not a Yukarifag or look at boobhus often, but this image...

When did ZUN start turning Yukari into a joke? Early Touhou she was this all knowing mastermind who effortlessly got one over on Eirin and seemed genuine when she was bragging to Sakuya about keeping people in her home.

>>44797993
ZUN had a nervous breakdown or some shit around 2012 and backpedalled on everything.

>>44797993
In PCB Yuyuko calls her a liar, she is unable to keep her shikigami from going on a rampage, and the scene with Sakuya is clearly comedic in tone.

>>44798050
>Nervous breakdown
He got married and probably had sex for the first time.

>>44798146
Sure, she had her moments but she was still mostly shown as being the bitch queen of Gensokyo. While now she's more like the bitchy neet of Gensokyo.

>>44797993
She runs away from Eiki Shiki in some ending of PoFV, and autistically explains the 60-year cycle to Yuyuko even though she is outright ignoring her to have a tea party.

>>44798165
I don't think things changed as much as you think they did, it's just that with more character, you can put plans that you would have oriignally associated with yukari to them, like okina's oil plan in 17.5
yukari, when allowed to scheme something out in full and direct all the moving pieces, pulls off big things like the whole of bougetsushou, but when she's against something that she doesn't quite know, like vengeful spirits from former hell (keep in mind that yukari hasn't been to former hell for a long time due to the agreement between the surface youkai and the underground youkai) she's left on the back foot
even so, her plan in the myouren arc was to use flan just like okina did, but it ended up conflicting with the other plan that she didn't know about because reimu and aya were conspiring with hatate in secret, which isn't really something she could have predicted
basically what I'm getting at is that she's not that different from before, but the circumstances she's against are different
also, everyone's retarded in CDS, so it's hard to say if something is because yukari in particular is retarded or not

>>44798209
That's fair.

Honestly, I don't think everybody in CDS is actually that stupid compared to normal. Everybody in Touhou is kind of retarded they just never had to deal with a actual threat. It's like if the cast of Fawlty Tower suddenly had to deal with an vengeful spirit.

>>44796299
But, Anon, the existence of Christianity of Touhou, even if its followers are few (I am talking maybe a couple), has huge implications for everything on Touhou lore.
When Christian cosmology is true, how to account for so-called "gods" in Gensokyo? Hell? Heaven? Abilities coming from pagan faiths? How does this all work in God's creation?
>>44796255
>>44796266
>>44796284
Yukari may be powerful and all, but neither she or any of Gensokyo's inhabitants are anywhere near God's omnipotence. I think in a world like this, God would surely protect the faithful, so yes, she would back off assuming that (and assuming she were aggressive like this to an anon in the first place, which she is not; she is a lovely lady).

>>44798275
I would say not really if you assume it's just one religion among many.

Though, if Christian cosmology is true I like to imagine it's either just SMT or similar to the cosmology of the Settlers 3.

You will lose in the end, Yukari.

>>44798381
In the end? She's already lost, anon. She's just too stubborn to realize how pathetic she is. Even her "Friends" make fun of her behind her back.

>>44798506
True, she will never be a real Youkai, she doesn't eat humans, she can't concoct plans, and she isn't the terror of the night.
She's just a witch, some human hag twisted my impure desires and chemicals into a mockery of Youkai perfection.

>>44797868
Yeah that sounds par for the course when it comes to this sage. I have to wonder if you do enough of your “part” for long enough she might become sentimental and attached to you and won’t see you killed if or when you are unable to keep pleasing her?

>>44798574
You will never be a real youkai. You have no shark teeth, you have no pointy ears, you have no animal parts. You are a homosexual college student twisted by magic into a crude mockery of fantastical perfection.

All the “validation” and "fear" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back Youkai mock you. Human society is disgusted and ashamed of you. Your “friends” laugh at your chuuni behavior behind closed doors.

Other humans are utterly unimpressed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed humans to sniff out youkai with incredible efficiency. Even shapeshifters like Nue look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your attitude is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to abduct a human and take him to your home, you'll turn tail and return him the moment he wakes up.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and try and fail to plunge into the cold abyss. Your shikigami will find you, and tell you to stop being so overly dramatic. Then you'll go back to teasing the current Hakurei Shrine maiden. Her body will eventually decay and die, but she'll leave behind a legacy of happiness and several beautiful children. You will still be miserable and alone.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

>>44798674
Saved. Kekked. Yukari destroyed.

>>44798772
Wait what does that mean

>>44781351
No one here is pathetic enough to actually be gapped. Even if a real gensokyo existed and there was one for every region, most /jp/'s wouldn't get gapped because even neets have people that care enough about them to file a report.
>Verification not required

>>44798843
Clearly you haven't met me.

>>44798843
This.

As long as you still have parents or people that would notice you are gone, you will never be taken to Gensokyo.

>>44798275
The same way it dealt with pagan gods back when they were still seriously extant in Europe.
Anything that goes against the Bible is a demon from satan and a false prophet, trying to tempt your faith for worldy gain.
It doesn't have to coexist with Shinto like the buddhists and Taoists do, because it's explicitly foreign and xenophobic to Gensokyo.
People used to believe in supernatural shit that wasn't in the bible all the time, but they chalked it up to demons & evil spirits instead of gods and fae.

>>44781351
I react by thanking her despite her mean comments for gapping me into Genso and then I leave her to do my own stuff. Old women like her, especially rude ones, don't interest me

>>44796359
Wasn't her three bodies thing already a more modern thing aside from some sculptors specific thing?
>>44798843
Kinda ironic if you think about it, she is basically giving some humans the same fate as youkai, disappearing from this world when humanity stopped believing in them.

>>44798946
I would miss you.

>>44799290
>Kinda ironic if you think about it, she is basically giving some humans the same fate as youkai, disappearing from this world when humanity stopped believing in them.
It's why she probably think she's doing a good thing.

>>44798674

>>44801248
I really hope she doesn't think Bwaaaahiiing will make me sympathize with Zounose Yukari.

What does she think this is? Blue archive?

>>44781351
Who?

>>44809984
It's so over for her...

>>44781351
Get some friends first

>>44812000
She's just like me fr fr no cap

>>44812000
Can't get friends if nobody likes you

>>44814084
Plus,the social awkwardness and autism doesn't help

>>44821622
Man, and Suika is supposed to be her friend.

You’ve always been a lesser hag, Yukari. Eirin is way sexier than you.

>>44822512
Don't beat her down like that, man. Let her down gently, making sure not to drop her and break her hip.

>Friendless loser.
>Mass murderer.
>Abused Ran.
>Hinted at to personally eat humans.
>Can be really clever but also frequently has her plans blow up in her face.
Does ZUN mean for us to like Yukari?

>>44822535
go back

>>44787160
So what you're saying is it's all downhill for Gensokyo?

>>44822535
>>Hinted at to personally eat humans
As opposed to what? Eating them through Ran?

>>44781351
Doesn't matter, played Cruelty Squad. My hope is already eradicated. If anything being eaten by a youkai would just turn me on.

>>44781351
One day, youkai and humans will live under one sky with peace. And you might not live long enough to experience it.

>>44822861
Never gonna happen, buddhist.

>>44822861
Happening right now, buddhist. Also marry me.

>>44822882
One will become what one fears the most.

>>44822522
That’s what she gets for treating me like a piece of meat.

>>44822861
>One day, youkai and humans will live under one sky with peace
Correct.

When the last youkai lies exterminated. Then there wil b e peace.

>>44822659
Not just abducting them and throwing them in Gensokyo to be killed, but eating people herself.

I want Yukarin to gap my size until I'm tiny then tease me and have me pamper her lewd body

>>44834397
Yeah, she's "eaten" plenty of humans. Still can't land a boyfriend though.

>>44840695
That kind of begs the question, what happens to all of the menfolk the autistic gappy abducts?

>>44840855
Rape.

Then eaten when she gets bored of them.

>>44840855
A variety of things, really. Some men get pampered, others she tries to awe with her power and status. It doesn't take too long for them to let her know that they aren't interested romantically in the strange woman that kidnapped them, however. Afterwards she lets them loose in random locations in Gensokyo, thinking that she'll get the last laugh when they fall victim to youkai, or that they'll cry out to the heavens for her to help them. Pretty much all of them end up either making it to the human village and starting families there or hitting it off with a nice youkai girl that they encounter. The most embarrassing ones for her are when the outsider makes it to Reimu, because then the guy gets to hear about how this happens all the time with Yukari, and on top of that it gets spread as gossip via those who visit the Hakurei Shrine.

Poor Yukari.

>>44841210
Won't someone just take one for the team and marry this woman already?!

>>44841103
Sheesh and then she actually wonders why besides Chen and Ran she’s so lonely. Raping and eating people isn’t the way to go Yukari!

>>44841210
To be fair to Yukari she is pretty impressive and beautiful and is a sage for good reasons. But her social awkwardness will bleed through and turn those guys off like you said.
Poor girl can’t even get a last laugh in either when those guys keep avoiding their doom that Yukari tries to orchestrate. Just more of her shaky rep being further buried.

>>44841250
Only if gappy learns to stop being such an oddball even by Gensokyo’s standards.

>>44841250
>Treating and terrorising humankind
Deserved. She deserve to be alone

Family!

Chemically castrate Yukari so she stops raping innocent young men.

>>44837379
My comparatively simple human mind probably couldn’t even begin to imagine all the lewd things a giant 1,000+ year old horny youkai hag would do to a tiny human at her mercy.

Don't marry Yukari, it's not worth it. You won't be able to handle having twenty children.

>>44841368
A-am I going to be the one bearing them?

>>44841353
Mostly eat.

But also keep in a doll house.

>>44841368
This is Reimu trying to prevent her shrine from being buried in mini-Gappys.

>>44841281
>Ran
She literally abuses Ran. Imagine dating somebody that abuses animals.

>Only if gappy learns to stop being such an oddball even by Gensokyo’s standards.
She should just take a cue from Monster girl Quest. Marriage is when the man comes three times.

>>44841368
Don't worry I will also marry and impregnate Ran so she can take care of them!

>>44841368
Oh, the horror! I can't even fathom the thought of 21 blonde women asking if they look fat in that dress.

>>44841425
ANON YOU FOOL NO! THAT'S EVEN WORSE! YUKARI PUTS OUT A LITTER OF 20, BUT RAN WILL SPAWN 40 FOXLINGS ON HER OWN! THAT'S TOO MANY EVEN FOR HER TO TAKE CARE OF WITH CHEN'S HELP!

>>44841410
Couldn’t she just eat someone at regular sizes? Why bother shrinking them? And living in a doll house sounds kind of boring.

>>44841419
She’s pretty rough around the edges to say the least. Something tells me spousal abuse would quickly become a thing with her. Not sure if I’d want to cum three times into her gap knowing all of this.
But then again I might not have a choice either if Yukari wants to make me her human husband.

>>44841419
>Imagine dating somebody that abuses animals.
I did, she fucked around and found out, never saw my cat genuinely angry before she normally doesn't give a fuck about anything

The youkai of manipulating boundaries has no concern with respecting personal boundaries. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she doesn't understand social boundaries at all.

You could give Yukari a polite nod at a shrine festival and not think twice about it, but she might take that to mean the two of you are acquainted. The next day as she lays under her kotatsu eating snacks, her thoughts might wander to you again, and how it was nice to meet someone as kind as you (since so many are afraid of her/dislike her). The day after that, you've completely forgotten about the refined looking blond woman you simply nodded to while drinking, but Yukari is taking a shower and acutely aware of how long it's been since she felt the touch of a man. Once again her mind drifts to thinking of you, and how a kind man like yourself would probably be open to a relationship with a youkai. The idea of someone escalating a simple gesture in their mind to something extreme might sound like nonsense, but this would continue until one day in your sleep she portals your dick to her so she can have her way with it. The next thing you know, she's suddenly walking next to you as you arrive at another shrine festival, and introducing you to Reimu as her boyfriend.

>>44841476
>Couldn’t she just eat someone at regular sizes?
It's less terrifying than being eaten alive.

>And living in a doll house sounds kind of boring.
Sure, but it's better than ending up as her tiny pet than as food.

>Something tells me spousal abuse would quickly become a thing with her.
She would almost certainly be a yandere that wouldn't let you leave her home unless you were put on a metaphorical, if not literal, leash.

With that said, once you learn what she wants from you I doubt it would be the worst fate in the world. Probably a bit of a golden cage, as you have zero freedom but also don't really want for anything. When Yukari is asleep you probably just spend your days lazing around home while Ran and Chen do all of the actual work (Don't try anything though, she will know and you will pay for it). Then whenever she wakes up she has pelvis shatteringly good sex with you until she's satisfied.

>>44841592
She's taking things way too fast! I don't even know this lady, and I've never even kissed a girl! And youkai are scary! If I can explain the situation to her, I'm sure she'll understand how absurd she's taking things and back down!

>>44841619
>(Don't try anything though, she will know and you will pay for it)
I'm going to put my dick in the fox and damn the consequences she can't expect to have such a beautiful computer hanging around her boyfriend all the time without them fucking.

>>44841630
And before he knows it anon is now married to Yukari with two kids and a third already on the way.

>>44841634
That sounds like a good way to have your dick stuck in a gap when she isn't awake.

Reminder that Youkai do not value consent. If they want something, they will have it. Does not matter if that is a thing or a person.

Yukari is a very Youkai like Youkai. If she wants you as her concubine/husband/food there is nothing you can do but accept your fate.

You guys know Yukari wouldn't have sex with you right? She would not fall in love with you. She would rather push you off a roof for fun. She isn't a nice person.

Stop talking about having sex with her and marrying her and having kids and all this junk. It would never happen.

>>44841592
>but this would continue until one day in your sleep she portals your dick to her so she can have her way with it
Yeah right. She would hover over you with a gap to unzip your pants, only to immediately pass out on seeing your dick. Then she'd fall out of the gap and land on top of you, waking you up and leaving you really confused. She would still do the thing at the festival though since you were both in bed together and you even had your dick out.

>>44841715
I'm going to start a human rights campaign aimed at youkai to explain that No means No! I will teach youkai in Gensokyo that consent is important, and human men have rights! I'll preach to the tengu, and work with organizations like the youkai grassroots organization, and the myouren temple! Together we'll make a more equal and just Gensokyo!

What's not to love about a woman that is powerful, beautiful and dorky in equal measure? Let's be real /jp/, she's a keeper.

>>44841725
Nice try, Reimu. If you weren't so grumpy all the time maybe a guy will finally ask you out.

>>44841725
Even in canon she keeps people around her home that entertain her. Or at least she claims she did so to Sakuya.

She'll probably fuck you until she gets bored of you, then throw you off a roof for fun.

>>44841725
Yukari is very nice and gentle actually! She's a pleasant young woman who's friends with everyone!

>>44841837
Hi Yukari. Marry me.

>>44841837
That's just sad and pathetic, Yukari.
What next, you spend your days trying to improve the quality of life of the average Gensokyo inhabitand and petting soft animals because you love them so much?

>>44841855
Yukari has many friends and animals love her! She even has two that live with her because they love her so much! The shrine maiden of Gensokyo itself loves Yukari too and let's me visit her all the time! Yukari is very popular and beloved by everyone in Gensokyo! Her fellow sages, the shrine maiden, Hieda no Akyuu, everyone adores this young youkai! Certainly more than that creepy weirdo who plays with sunflowers and jokes about genocide.

>>44841880
>The shrine maiden of Gensokyo itself loves Yukari too and let's me visit her all the time!

Psyops failed, Aya is going to be receiving a letter with some damning evidence you saggy hag.

>jokes about genocide.
They weren't jokes, they were threats. I really wanted to but they ran away and someone more interesting came along that was more fun anyway.

>>44841880
>>44841912
You're both saggy hags and nobody likes you!

>>44841912
Shut up that's just a typo people make typos I'll edit that post to fix it Yukari doesn't spend any time on the Internet she has loads of better things to do like working hard keeping Gensokyo safe and also going to parties do you know how many parties she gets invited to? So many it's amazing people love and adore Yukari everyone wants to be with her and know about her, she's just so popular. Contrast this with loner Yuuka, she's nothing but a gorilla who's brutish and rude and can't ever be invited to anything because no one likes her sad really.

How do I edit a post

>>44841995
Just ask Ran to do it for you.

>>44841988
>can't ever be invited to anything
What, you don't just show up and refuse to leave?
Sounds like someone is trying to cover up their social anxiety.
Surely you are indeed strong enough that no one would want to go through the process of removing you, right?
Or do you slink away the second someone asks like a weakling?
Either way you are the reason being a sage is a joke for people who try too hard. Byee~!

>>44841250
If you insist, I'll gladly marry this pretty woman.

>>44841619
I don’t know, her being gigantic and eating you that way would be terrifying in its own right. Like imagine being held between her two silky gloved fingers desperately trying to break free as you’re slowly brought to her smirking lips which part at your approach. You have maybe a few seconds to comprehend your coming consumption before Yukari forces your tiny form into her maw, small body maybe being tasted and battered by her titanic tongue as you’re forced against her soft cheeks or the harder roof of her mouth. And depending on how you see things, you’ll be lucky if Yukari swallows you alive with a simple gulp on her part or she savors chewing you to bloody mulch with her teeth.
But yeah living a bored life in a dollhouse would be better than the above happening. Might even get lucky and be played with by Yukari, Chen, or Ran.
Her being a control freak is a likewise foregone conclusion as well. I’d try to do my best to do right by her at any rate if she made me hers knowing that escape is practically impossible.

>>44841353
She'd force you to play cave explorer

>>44842949
Dare I ask which “cave” she’ll force me to explore?

>>44843017
All of them.

>>44843084
I’m scared and don’t relish the idea of being a living dildo and/or buttplug…

>>44843180
Either you massage her cervix from the inside or you slide down her throat

>>44841353
She'll make you rub her cute feet
>>44843180
I'll gladly take your place

>>44846026
Yukari will probably end up eating me anyway at some point, especially if or when she gets bored of her little living doll.
But if playing “cave explorer” delays this then I might as well. Besides, how can you say no to such a pretty giant?

>>44846721
Cute is relative, especially of you are as small if not smaller than even her little toe. I’d totally rub her massive feet though and maybe we can even do it together or she can have you do the cave exploration while I myself do the massaging.

>>44847925
Just because something is bigger than you doesn't mean it's not cute

>>44850760
True enough, although you have to admit that Yukari being so huge makes her kind of scary too. Or rather, scarier.

>>44850809
CUTER!

>>44856559
If you call big bad Yukari a cutie she might end up blushing!
At which point she’ll be obliged to both punish you and uphold her frightening reputation as a youkai sage of Gensokyo.

>>44781351
Big talk. Though you've made a mistake allowing a plague into your boundary.
*the illusionary image of myself dissipates, leaving nothing but golden dust upon the grass as a faint laughter echoes for a few lingering seconds*

Is Yukari a sociopath? She has all of the hallmarks:
>Lack of empathy for others.
>Impulsive behavior.
>Attempting to control others with threats or aggression.
>Using intelligence, charm, or charisma to manipulate others.
>Not learning from mistakes or punishment.
>Lying for personal gain.
>Showing a tendency to physical violence and fights.

>>44856700
To be fair, you’re trying to apply human psychology to an inhuman monster. But given the fact as a youkai and thus is the product of human thinking and superstition, these metrics can kind of apply to her as well.
In short, it’s best to be very weary if or when you deal with her.

>>44856700
crossboarder dislikes yukari, misunderstands her character, and gets many aspects flat out wrong
not unexpected, but it does reaffirm my love for the gap hag in an unexpected way

>>44856730
The real commonality between hag enjoyers is the attraction to horrible, awful people.

>>44856728
Youkai in general are arguably sociopaths, but also capable of forming real friendships and often have their own morale code. It's pretty debatable if either applies to Yukari. There's also the fact she might be Maribel, who was a human.

>In short, it’s best to be very weary if or when you deal with her.
Agree. Even at best she's liable to screw with you, at worst she'll probably kill you.

>>44856742
Man, all hags in Touhou really are total sociopaths.

>>44856728
>it’s best to be very weary if or when you deal with her.
>weary
That'll be the drugs kicking in anon.
You'll be the daddy to twenty youkai kids sooner than you can realise!
It'd be best to be wary of spiked tea if you want this to remain fiction.

>>44856794
Why would she bother going for outsiders when she could just abduct a village shota? They are already used to getting fucked by Gensokyo.

>>44856742
Yukari isn't a sociopath, her work to maintain Gensokyo demonstrates a widespread empathy for others
Eirin cares so much for others that she abandoned the perfect stability of her old life to protect Kaguya, and provides medical care for humans in Gensokyo
Yuuka... uh
Yuuka is cute

>>44856840
>Yukari isn't a sociopath, her work to maintain Gensokyo demonstrates a widespread empathy for others
How? It's a murderous dictatorship that requires a constant sacrifice of outsiders, as a well as keeping countless other native people trapped against their will, to function. Is maintaining North Korea proof that the dictator in charge of that country has empathy for others?

>>44856730
You're not a real yukari fan if you live in denial of her being genuinely awful and incompetent.

>>44856772
When being cruel and sociopathic is the rule rather than the exception, why take the chance? Even more so with a particularly deplorable being such as Yukari here. And while I often dream and meme about wanting her to do things to me and maybe even be her friend, realistically I know I neither have a ghost of a chance and that I should steer very clear of her in order to entirely avoid being screwed with or killed.

>>44856794
ESL moment, my bad.
And wtf I didn’t drink any damn tea or booze how did this happen!? I don’t even want kids yet! Why Yukari why!?

>>44856700
Who doth thou be quoting?

>>44856888
A random article I found online talking about the symptoms of sociopathy.
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-sociopath

>>44856801
Better stock
Gensokyo humans are malnourished meiji era japs
abducting a husband from the outside gives her pick of the litter across the planet

>>44856920
I feel there would be more culture shock.

Then again, if she just wants a sex slave anybody would do.

>>44856859
>murderous dictatorship
nope
>requires a constant sacrifice of outsiders
doesn't require it
>keeping countless other native people trapped against their will
nah, debatable
I thought about typing out more in response to your points, but decided against it. Your view of the simple touhou canon is so twisted that I don't think there's any chance of you learning anything here. Please refrain from commenting on discussions of touhou's story from now on.

>>44856939
the culture shock forces them to rely on her
better yet, if her catch is a westerner, they'll be completely isolated and vulnerable outside her and Ran

>>44856946
>nope
It's a dictatorship, and it murders people.

>doesn't require it
Fair enough.

They just do it anyway.

>nah, debatable
How? They can't fucking leave. Even if you want to argue they are mostly fine with it, they aren't, then they still can't leave.

>>44856946
It's alright, secondary-kun. When you're gapped to Gensokyo and torn limb from limb by youkai, nobody will miss you.

>>44856956
>>44856969
look, what I said was insulting, but I really hope that you take it to heart instead of just lashing out

>>44857009
Take what to heart?

If you seriously believe in what you said, and you do not, then you could at least post something to actually make your point.

>>44856658
I will call her a cutie and accept the consequences!

>>44858912
You think you can handle the consequences? She’s going to correct you hard for this, starting with her big “cute” feet that will smother your tiny form between them.

You couldn't possibly resist Yukarin!
Could you?

>>44859166
i wouldn't want to resist

>>44859166
I'd take a silly straw to her teat and suck like my life depended on it.

>>44859166
It would be hard, and I mean that in more ways than one.

It's a shame ZUN will never end Touhou because I really want to see Yukari going down. She seems like the type of villainess that would have a amazing mental breakdown when she starts to lose.

>>44859376
elaborate

>>44859424
I want Yukari to win now and ever! She's too cute to make cry, so I want to make sure she gets everything she wants and never has trouble again.

>>44859166
sauce?

>>44862977
Her goals are self defeating. She'll always be doomed to misery.

>>44859038
Haha, oh nooooooo, whatever will I do

>>44868903
Try to fight back for whatever good it might do you. Although I’m betting the best case scenario would be you merely tickling her soft soles as they mash you between them and she laughs at your futile and cute efforts. She might have to “punish” you further for defying her though…