/jp/ - Otaku Culture

They are real.
We call them eight year old children.

Silly anon, they ARE real.

I would hit them. With a shovel.

>>4479578
You find me an 8 year old who looks like Ran.

>leave them alone to preserve their purity and innocence?
More like run so they don't brutally kill me.

Of course not, I'm not a pedophile.

>>4479571
I'd try to seduce Reimu, because she'd make a good wife, meanwhile I'd bang Sanae behind her back because she is a slut and will put out.

>>4479571
Oh god ponytail Cirno just turned me into a lolicon.

>>4479597
Do you have a ponytail moe, anon?

>>4479592
I don't think a shovel would fit.

I'd leave them alone because I'm shy but if I could I would rail the fuck out of Chiruno et al

>>4479607
Yes.

>>4479586
My exact same thoughts. Just look at that beast.

If touhoes were real women they would, by definition, not have any purity or innocence.

If touhous were real then magic would be real.
I wouldn't borther myself with such puny trivialities like sex and romance, I wou spend every second of my life training to become a walking lightning wielding armageddon.

>>4479590

This.

i'd put my guns on and show them what bullet hell really is

I am an IRL touhou.

I'd be Eirin's test subject. Who knows, maybe she'll turn me into the little girl.
The first time I typed this I wrote sex instead of test.

They are real, OP. And leaving girls alone to preserve their purity and innocence would only hurt them and make them lonely. You wouldn't want to do that, now would you? That said, most of them wouldn't really be my type. There are a few I'd like to meet, but actually go out with? Eh.

>>4479656
This.
Being real alone would contaminate their purity and innocence.

/jp/ would treat them just like they to real women.

Stare at them reverently, but instantly look down at the table as soon as there was the slightest chance that she would actually make eye contact with you.

I wouldn't hit on them, but I would hit them.

>>4479854
You'd only end up pissing them off.

>>4481436
Masochism is fine too.

No. If I don't fuck them someone else will.

>>4479854

Would you pee in their beds?

She's already real to me.

>>4479571

>>4481440
>implying they'd let him sleep over.

>>4481440
No, now leave me alone.

>>4481454
>no

Only because you'd be stuck sleeping on the couch, which would in turn be urinated on.

I'd do what I do with all women.

Get drunk with them and have a good time not having sex and instead watching a movie or something.

>>4481454
why don't you tell him things like: "why are you obsesed with me peeing? are you into scat? or are you suffering from the same problem?"

and than be like "go away scatbutt" or "sorry to disapoint you, i don't wet my bed, you are the only /jp/ier with that problem" or things like that.

>>4481515
I've tried.
I'm not witty enough.

>>4481525
You sure are wet enough though.

>>4481525
than apologies for whatever you did to him that made him so butthurt that he starts stalking you.

come on, be the mature one.

>>4481515

The problem is, Miles' reputation preceeds him.

>>4481544

He leaves a trail of damp bedding.

>>4481542
I'm kind of the laughing stock of /jp/.
Thanks for the white knighting, but it doesn't really affect me much anymore.
I actually reply out of habit.

>>4479597
>lolicon
>more than 60 years old
Keep telling yourself that man.
It works out better this way

>>4481550

Nice.

He's just reaping the consequences of bragging about bedwetting on the Internet.

>>4481554
I'm not 'white knighting' those flamings annoy me. can't we have a normal touhou thread without scat rreferance?

(inb4 jokes about my name)

>>4481542
>>4481515
You must be new around here.
He is a confirmed bedwetter and he let slipped that he pissed on the bed while posting with his trip. This together with his shitposting habit got him to be ridicule everytime he post with his trip. Still no idea why he continue posting with his trip. I guess he like the attention of being a bedwetter.

>>4481596
littleshrimp, can't you shut up for once?