/jp/ - Otaku Culture

We're the succubi sisters
and plumbing's our game
we're not like the others
who get all the fame
If your drain isn't level
you can call us on the double
you'll cum faster than the others
you'll be hooked on my udders

>>44741343
>Nice of the prince to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luisa?

>>44741366
When you pinch a creeping coins pennies, they pinch back

Reminder to never tell a pixie that you prefer women taller than you.

>>44741329
what are these vicious beasts plotting? i need to get outta here!

>>44741374
Unless, your know, i really prefer women taller than me.

Would you watch monster girls playing sports?

I'm gonna challenge the dragon boss t a fight.
No, I don't care that "it's the moder era" or that it's just the dragon CEO of the company I work at.
I get this magic sword and I'm damn well gonna use it.

>>44741438
Absolutely. As long as there are rules in place to make it safe i would love to watch mamono completely lay waste to any sport we have ever invented.

>SaaaAAAyyyy... you're beautiful in your wrath!

>marry a noble MG
>she turns out to be the biggest fan of your favorite rapeball team and has box seats and season tickets for life
>at every game every sunday and wants you there cheering with her

I gone and made myself sad...

>>44741374
>Reminder to never tell a pixie that you prefer women taller than you.
Sure thing. I'll them them I prefer Bogeys instead.

Which one do you fuck first? And don't worry, you'll fuck all three of them.

>>44741456
Alrighty, here are some random ideas I had
>Arachne/ushi oni roller derby
>Ogre/oni ice hockey
>Cursed weapon baseball
>Kunoichi/cockatrice soccer

>>44741503
8 legged rollerskating sounds chaotic

>visit Dragonia
>immediately get arrested and taken into custody by the dragon knight commander
>be "escorted" (guided tour while she holds my hand the whole time firmly) into my "jail" (her house)
>get "strip searched" (aka: molested and groped)
>get "interrogated" (made to confess about my all preferences/fetishes)
>get ridden until I fully acknowledge my place as dragon property then ridden some more as reward until I can't walk

>>44741503
>kraken/wurm wrestling

>>44741543
Fuck, I can't believe I've only read this 30 times so far this year.

>>44741553
not enough

>>44741543
>anon was actually smuggling items the whole time

>>44741438
well, I already watch american football, it's only a bonus if a rowdy strongfat hellhound wants to watch it with me

>>44741438
Football/soccer would be interesting.
They'd probably have to limit it to two limbed monsters, and forbid magic for the most part

>>44741503
>Cursed weapon baseball
Like, with a bat or their own weapons? Because the latter doesn't sound like it would work.
>they either slash the ball or ignore correct swormanship to hit the ball with the flat of the blade
>can't make the ball too resilient/hard, else they will damage their weapons
The soccer and the hockey ones sound like the most interesting.

>>44741323
Just because I'm bored enough to do this one

>>44729217
>>44729556
>>44730048
> ( THE ) Excalibur
>A rare type of mutation in a Cursed Sword that causes them to believe themselves to be the Sword of Promised Victory, the legendary Kingsmaker itself, imbuing them with a blue mana tinge
>Women who take up such a sword not only have their hair turned into a platinum blonde colour, but tend to become, for lack of a better word, meatheads
>As such, they firmly believe the most desirable mamano body is one of a female warrior's made of iron muscle
>It is unknown how such a mutation came to be in the bloodlines of some of the Cursed Swords, but there have been inklings of them referring to themselves as "HEROES OF JUSTICE" or "GUARDIANS OF EROS", which has led many to believe in cross-dimensional contamination

Dragons are fearsome creatures.

>>44741655
i like the version where she's swinging a sword that's still stuck in a rock

>>44741497
The one that tenderly healed me, of course.

>>44741671

>>44741655
I rather girls that are swords you use. Those are better.
>fight with your wife
>sleep with your wife
>polish your wife

Dragons are friends.

>>44741485
I still want to know what mod this is, if its even real

>>44741429
Do what you must, but remember that pixies can shrink you.

>>44741438
Wrestling is a sport. Imagine being trapped in a cage match with her. Imagine commentary from JR and a succ co announcer as anon is raped in front of thousands of screaming human and monster fans.

It's strange how we don't have stats for the ammount of stories mamono get. Would be interesting to see what are the least popular mamono here. I cannot imagine anyone ever writing something about a barometz

>>44741818
Forgot the image

>>44741671
>someone saved my ancient drawing
It keeps happening

>>44741323
spooky hebi

>>44741720
not food

>>44741843
But what if they want you to eat their tail?

>>44741855
What if they want you to eat their pussy?

>>44741831
what's she going to do, love me?

Kiss addicted gloombugs

>>44741818
Haha oh no not publicly pinned under a sweaty hellhound or minotaurs butt oh no

>>44741720
>marry a dragon
>you still feel bad for that lonely dragon who lives on the mountain opposite, but you're not one for harems
>besides, your wife isn't one for harems either
>before long you have a son together
>an idea begins to form
>as soon as he's old enough to hold a sword, you drop him outside the other dragon's lair and tell him to slay her

>>44741913
How horrible, being amazon mating pressed in the ring by a muscular monster I couldn't live with the shame. A career ending match.

>>44741939
it's okay if she doesn't take your luchador mask off

>die
>but then you wake up
>looking up from your grave you see a little necromancer girl dancing around.
>"Yes, I did it, I created a wight!"
>"Now, my first minion, arise!"
>you feel the urge to obey
>but then it changes to rage
>This little thing brought you back
>you don't know why but you hate that
>You pounce her
>pin her down
>"Ah, no, stop!"
>she shudders, then moans
>you see her essence come off her and be absorbed wherever you touch
>she writes in ecstasy the more you do it
>you feel your cock rise, stirring despite having being dead for who knows how long
>you pull her robes off.
>"No, no! You obey me me not—."
>she breaks out into a moan and goes limp
>you thrust into her
>a crest appears on her
>It seems that you've gotten this girl as your servant, not the other way around...
I could probably come up with a few other alt takes on monsters.

I heard that horns are an erogenous zone. I am gonna test it out on this random oni and stroke her horns!

What's a scrawny nerd to do when he gets picked up by his collar and pinned up against the lockers by the delinquents twice his size?

>>44741984
huff her fluff, of course.

>>44741984
OBEY

>>44741997
*their* fluff anon
Delinquents run in packs
Big monsters attract big monsters

>>44741984
Give Miss Oni, Ogre, Hellhound, Manticore and amazon their lunch money of course

>>44741984
oh no, not the delinquents

>>44741984
Cry. I'm serious. It has an effect on them and instantly stops them from pulling whatever shit they're trying to do. She'll instantly try to console you and start apologizing. It is a dirty trick however, so don't cry too much or you'll draw the attention of hags.

>>44741984
Reach out and squeeze her tits.

>>44741323
Shouldn't the tub be slightly tilted towards the drain to make sure water flows that way?

>>44741984
>Delinquents jump you after school and take you to the PE lockers
>Proceed to get fucked for half the night
>Other half of the night is spent dealing with self conscious delinquents who don't really want to bully anyone/think they're too dumb for school
>Get fiercely loyal pack of beeg monsters bodyguarding you for the rest of school year (and after)
good end?

>>44742019
>Delinquents run in packs
Wow, they must be real scared of me to have to gang up on me.

I'm gonna grind to max level, defeat the local vampire end boss and then go back to the starter area and find the level 1 slime and make her slime queen and I will not let anyone stop me!
I do kind of wonder how the "evil minions" would react to a guy doing this.

>>44741855
I'd try it.

>>44741863
That's a matter of course.

>>44741438
luv me sum dragonball

>>44742134
>p-pick on me one at a time
words spoken by a man who got bullied by a pack of delinquent pryows

>>44742134
Yeah, that's the spirit anon!
Just challenge the biggest amazon and hellhound in the group to a fight after school 1 on 1!

>>44742147
I'm not scared of them unless they're really jacked, in that case I'm not going to resist.

>>44742048
it's a bit of a silver bullet. even mean monsters don't like to see boys cry
not like you'll get away with being unmarried, even so. if the gyaru don't get you, the unmarried teacher who hears you crying in the hall will.

>>44742184
... ew...

>>44741984
>Cross one of these delinquents by accident
>For the rest of the day, whenever you see one of them, they do the penis in vagina hand motion
>Know your ass is grass the moment school ends

>>44741984
>he doesn't have a sukeban stalker to counter delinquent the delinquents
NGMI

>>44742198
dont knock it till you try it Anon.... or would you rather have her inject it through the barbs?

>>44741984
School shooting

>>44742184
>Manticore gf preparing a smoothie for herself and my bicorn wife.

>>44742226
how's he going to shoot anything with 10 manticore barbs in each hand?

>>44742245
Bomb belt?

>>44742245
He's going to shoot inside the Manticore.

Get in the fucking robot, anon.

>>44742358
gremtech's always got to make it weird

>>44741543
that's a very seductive dragoncel not going to lie

>>44742176
It can be worth the risk, but generally if a girl is bullying you that ship has already sailed. All crying will do is show her your boundaries. The best use for crying is undoubtedly when two monsters fight, as that'll break it up immediately

>>44742384
She'll up me what?

>>44742464
kinda cute.

>>44742384
Heartwarming.
>>44742464
I still love those platform shoes she has in the original picture.

>>44742358
Wait, wait. Are we talking about a fucking robot or a fucking-robot?

>>44742464
I like the lipstick color, something different.

calling the hakutaku teacher mom by "accident" in primary school

>>44741984
Shout "I don't know you" and kick her in the testicles.

>>44742464
Is it possible to get mofu'd by big tail feathers?

How would a gremlin dispose of an OSHA goon trying to make her workspace "safe"?
>hard mode: she's married to you, and you're not the OSHA goon, so she can't just rape him

>>44742568
Sick an automaton on him. Now make it actually difficult and make the OSHA goon female.

>>44742573
I mean, at that point, you could just throw some concentrated mamono mana at her and have her monsterize.

>>44742584
Ultra hard mode: the OSHA goon is already a monster (Anubis or something just as autistic)

>>44742584
Great, now the OSHA woman is a monstergirl. Now how do you stop her?

>>44742508
This dude looks like a fucking Lego figure.

>>44742598
>implying she's not so horny after monsterization she'll overlook literally anything
>Verification not required.

>>44742621
>monsterizes into an Anubis
ur fukd m8

>>44742568
Proper air circulation. Keep the acetylene bottles out of high spark areas and keep the Lava Golem away from them. Sweep the slag off the floor, and pick up the scrap metal the cyclops leaves behind.

I caught a weird kot

>>44741713
I guess I could kind of see the appeal to that? But making a waifu and just going "She's the tsukumogami of the sword" just feels like it cheapens it.

>>44742734
What if she fused to your arm or something like that?

>>44741771
I believe it's a resource pack that changes the model of golems,

>>44742801
That... explains the rose, or poppy or whatever
Here I was hoping I could hug her

>>44742751
That just makes it weirder unless she has a means of having sex as a mamano.

>>44742682
Is she telling me she wants cunnilingus?

>>44742954
Originally I was just remebering some shitty anime about vampires where the guy had a sword that had a spirit of a girl in it.

>>44742864
Sanity Level Critical Sanity Level Critical Sanity Level Critical Sanity Level Critical

BOO!

>>44742995
Sanity is overrated.

>>44742979
She wants you to stop being a Gloomy Gus and put a smile on that face!

>>44741543
I’m not sure how Dragonia is lacking in husbands when every boy who’s ever lived has wanted to ride a dragon. And every man wants a girl “riding” them. What I’m saying is that I want to be a young squire to an old dragon that’s never had a rider. If that old dragon happens to look exactly like Deonora or her sister then it would be a happy coincidence

Not all ghosts are petite tricksters, some of them have a more "hands on" approach to haunting anons

>>44743088
I’m not going to lie this is way too masculine of a body type. She’s taking the phrase “cryptkeeper hands” literally

>carboard box with muffled giggling slowly inching toward you
what do?

>>44743158
Sit on box.

>>44743158
Make a large exclamation mark appear over my head.

>>44743158
Depends, I mean what if it's some kind of special military box? I don't know, like some Japanese thing?

>>44743158
>lead moving box to an open manhole
>easily step over the hole
>cardboard box goes over the hole
>hear a "Kyaaa...!" and a large splash
easy

>>44743158
I set the box on fire by throwing alcohol and a match at it.

>>44743158
Just walk away.
What's the box gonna do, inch faster?

>>44743247
If the box has a chesh in it, there's a good chance it'll just teleport whenever your back is turned.

>>44743262
Maaaaaybe.

>>44743158
>>44743282
Lift the box and climb inside with her.

>>44743262
Damn Meme Cat! Casually breaking the laws of physics just to fuck with me!

>>44743319
woryp

>>44743158
It's probably nothing. Continue my patrol.

>>44743349
what

>>44743158
bite the box to see if I can eat

>>44742384
>ESL-sama I kneel…
glad to see some lava golem art though, they’re underappreciated in these threads

>>44743629
They're in my top five. The idea of being slowly wrapped up until you're almost entirely cocooned and then getting slowly miked as you're held in her toasty love prison... wonderful. I'd love to experience the feeling of having my body and heart melt with no ability to escape until I don't want to anymore.

>>44743697
>>44743629
>not having your wife turn into a suit of igneous rock and magma to go adventuring in

>>44743729
Maybe after she makes me her love prisoner

>>44743754
What, did you think she would let you out of the suit? Where the home-wreckers are? No way, Anon. You just need to relax and let the massage feature do its work

What about a hoodlim? Basically a Lilim that pretends like she’s from the hood even though she grew up in a palace.

Love a fairy today!
>captcha: joyg8

>>44743158
It may seem like a fun thing to play along with as someone unfamiliar with the series, but in Mamono Gear Solid, there is a lot of sneak-attack-rape

That monster in the box is trying to rape you

>>44743041
>when every boy who’s ever lived has wanted to ride a dragon. And every man wants a girl “riding” them.
This but the man want to "ride" the girls too

>>44743785
She's not a rapist. She's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dork knight.

>>44743803
Nobody cared who she was until she put on the box.

>>44743803

>>44743810
>>44743809
>>44743803
that's it

I'm going to Banepost on 4mon and no one can stop me

>>44743822
you can pry my bane memes from my cold, dead hands

>>44743158
must've been the wind

>>44743822
>no one can stop me
And then you get banned by 4mon janny. Do you feel in charge?

stinky kiki

>>44743851
>get ban message from 4mon staff
>says she'll unban you if you marry her

>>44743851
I clear my cookies and reset my router
I tell her she does it for free and that she will never have a husband
I receive many (you)s from the mamono baneposters

>>44743851
>post SHE DOES IT FOR FREE on /v/ while you're at work
>hear anubis office manager start to angrily type a few desks over

reckless msgk breeding
without a contract

came to kot butt again

>>44741323
>"Wort Wort Wort!"

>>44743888
jannies are either anubises or very masochistic kikis. I almost pity her.

>>44744014
>4mon gets a shog janitor
>try to shitpost
>black goo starts oozing out of your PC case

>>44744057
I don't even like the undead, but that's pretty damn cute.

>>44744014
It's almost like a form of endless edging, or orgasm denial for kikis. Forever cleaning a mess that never truly goes away.

>>44743956
If a loli Demon msgk tempts you, it's only fair to seduce her back and taunt her while doing her contractless.

>>44744067
>I don't even like the undead
The undead like you.

>>44743956
Not interested in Devils. It's only womanly full formed Demons for me.

>>44744184
#NotAllDevils are loli-sized.

>>44744184
A fellow man of taste

Would a demon teach you how to read her language before making you sign the contract, or would that be a benefit of signing it?
No, you cant translate it. you need to read it in the original language to appreciate its nuances and cultural references that would be lost in translation

>>44744215
You're entitled to it, but she won't tell you that. She'll obfuscate all the things you're entitled to before signing, but push the benefits of being a signee. Don't forget you have rights!

>>44742990
Can't help you on that one but the idea of a Muramasa girl wearing a low cut kimono with long as shit hair covering one of her cursed eyes is kind of growing on me. The type of onee-san spirit mamano that goes "I'm not going to fix him I'm going to make him so much worse".

>>44744215
Localising monster texts from their language is a bad idea, remember that infamous eros bible localisation?
A demon contract is packed with clauses and metaphors that come undone when translated. You should at least get her to read it out to you.

>>44744168
Am I supposed to break her choker?

>>44744282
Probably not--check her hands, she's got a ring and is therefore married.

>>44744157
Fuck off back to /vg/ spambot

when im done, all monsters will be as fluffy as a fox.

>>44744215
>Get cornered by demon
>Wants me to sign a contract
>I know my rights
>Demand a lawyer
>Demon clicks her fingers
>Friend demon appears, demands I sign a contract for her assistance untangling the first demons contract
whoops

>>44744310
>Fluffy slime
Terrifying!

>>44744310
Hey, don't downgrade squirrels.

>>44744184
I'm not interested in Devils either, only thick Demon children for me.

>>44743697
Lord imagine…I think they’d feel like a hot mud bath since they’re made of earth, so instead of being perfectly smooth like a slime their softer parts are interrupted by bumps and aggregates, providing endless stimulation as they slip and slide along your glans. Meanwhile she comfortably but firmly binds you in her tough rocky parts, as lava bubbles across her body start popping and sending constant tremors between the both of you…

>>44744336
I'm gonna to lick the lava.

I'm going to ruffle a kejourou's hair despite the consequences.

mershark and lavagirl

>>44744341
Dip apple slices into her
>>44744351
How fucking daring you

>>44744351
Mrs. Raiju send him to the principal's office and have him expelled

>>44744351
>>44744370
Mrs. Electric send this human to the human rape chair and have his dick raped immediately!

>>44744310
WHERE IS MY FLUFF DRAGON

>>44744215
I feel like she'd like it better if you knew exactly what you're getting into when you sign yourself over to her. She could trick you into signing, but it just doesn't feel as special. But if you were to realize the price of the pleasure she offers and say accept, nothing could compare to that moment for a demon. You chose to spend eternity bound to her, to submit your very soul to her. By signing the contract you told her that her love was worth giving her everything. That's fucking romantic.

>>44744423
>>44744435
Fuck off bunkerfaggot. Take your shit memes back to the dumpster you crawled out of.

>>44744351
Don't forget the nightmare!

>>44744430
Damn, well said.

>>44744430
Yeah giving her absolute power and control and all of your possessions only for her to dote, love and spoil you is pretty good.

>>44744438
>>44744435
>>44744423
whats going on?

I wouldnt wear a collar in public but if it made my wife happy I'd wear one around the house.
I expect sex in return

PERKELE

>>44744481
my hound gets sad when I take it off and her tail starts thumping when I put it on.
I guess she just likes knowing im hers.

>>44744481
Getting collared is the dream. Especially one with a cute heart-shaped lock. Feeling the unrestrained joy after I sign the contract and she snaps the collar around my neck. Seeing my slave tattoo appear and knowing that whether it's to offer her my essence or submit for cuddles, my body will always desire to serve her every love-filled whim...
You shouldn't be afraid of letting others know how much you're loved. It's in mamono's nature to want to show you off and talk about how happy they are.

Hebi status?

>>44744481
I would compromise so long as I could wear a scarf over it in public, I don't want people to get funny ideas about my private life. Just like I wouldn't expect my hound to have a leash in public.

>>44744518
>Getting collared is the dream
Eh, not to everyone.

>>44744481
I'm not into slave or pet play but collars are cute. No leashes though. Same with tattoos.
If it were something they only offered after a bit into marriage, rather than forced moments after rape, then that would be ideal.

>>44744351
Do you think the Demon Lord stays in her palace because she too, is afraid of what she created?

>>44744551
wrong movie dumbass

>>44744533
Fair enough. Everyone should find what makes them happy.

Fighting evil with your waifu! Protecting your community! Spreading the good word of the DL!

>>44744596
But I want to be the evil and I don't want a wife. I want to destroy communities and spread blasphemy about the DL!

>>44744605
Be prepared to face justice!

Hebi why are you buying zipties?

>>44744596
I can't resist a girl armor.

>>44744621
Because she wants to go camping and needs something to keep all the stuff tied down you fucking dumbass she's been talking about this for almost a month now.

>>44744476
Daily mandated meltdown from asspained anons.

>>44744518
I want my demon wife to take my collar out of the gift box, look me in the eyes and smile while she fixes it around my neck, kiss me, and tell me I look beautiful with it on.

>>44744615
Justice is a loser's game! The only thing that means anything is power and I'll have it even if I have to rip it from the hands of the Demon Lord herself!

Hebi why are you buying handcuffs and installing set of steel pipes in our bathroom?

>>44744481
A collar is not an act of degradation. It is equivalent to wearing a wedding ring in her culture. By your refusal to wear it, if people find out you have a wan wife, they will think you are a slut. Do you really want everyone to think you're a slut? Put the damn collar on.

>>44744645
We'll put together a team dedicated to taking you down! You don't stand a chance!

>>44744665
Anon it's called a fucking BDSM fetish is this really that hard for you to understand

>>44744605
>This saturday follow the magical girl heroes as they defeat the evil wizard anon kun who does not believe in the power of love and marriage
>On the Next Exciting of Pretty Monster Warrior Z

>>44744596
I want to fight demonic beasts with my wife.

>>44744633
>tell me I look beautiful
Aww, me too. One day anon, you'll make it. We both will.

>>44744674
But my human dignity!
And what if it's a different species?
What if my fairy wife wants me to wear a collar?

>>44744605
>spread blasphemy about the DL
Anon, stop! That's how the angels find you!

Hebi why did you put a bag over my head and stuff me in the back of your love van and are now injecting a dozen syringes of synthetic giritabilu venom into our wrists?

>>44744728
I think anon may be a little slow on the uptake.

>>44744665
>have a half finished basement
>hebi says she'll renovate it
>turns it into a mediaeval oubliette

>>44744728
No pain, just dreams now.

>>44744682
>Kakuen goes Super Kakuen after Anon unveils his old world artifact that didn't get corrupted by Demonic Energy and will take his life force in exchange for power in order to save him

>>44744728
>using another woman's venom
slut

>>44744728
>The hebi rape van could be anywhere
>It could be parked outside your house right now

Mobile hebi... dear god

>>44744723
i can see where theyre connected

>>44743712
So selfish!

>>44744819
I'm gonna look her right in the eye and declare to her in no uncertain terms

that I am going to violate her

>>44744820
spiritually?

>>44744835
benis in bagina

Collars are too much, but something about scary Yandere hebi hits just right? Y'all are fucking weird.

>>44744723
Just placate them with sweets.

>>44744847
a snake is like a collar for the body

>>44744847
hebi tail is my collar

>>44744851
Been huffing a bit too much of that caterpillar's good stuff, haven't you?

>>44744847
I don't like either.

>>44744847
Collars are gay but yan hebis are cute and ultimately harmless.

I WILL wear a collar in public
I WILL wear one for each of my wives
I WILL look ridiculous wearing 5 collars

I like to imagine Hebis are mostly just playing a character and if the guy they like seems genuinely uncomfortable with how yan they're getting they break character and make sure he's okay and if he'd prefer her to tone it down.

>>44744877
Bro how long is your neck

>>44744865
she lets me snuggle with her whenever i take a bigger hit than i did last time...

>>44741323

>>44744883
they're all stacked on top of each other. one of the 'collars' from Ms. Troll is actually just a wool scarf.

>>44744911
>>>/vg/
eat shit spambot

collars protect you from miss vamp
also having a long ear ring with a label on it is how miss minotaur prefers to mark her husband

>>44744887
It is so hard to resist the urge to respond to this with a picture ok a Baki character.

>>44744920
i'd rather be branded than wear an earring

>>44744930
Kill yourself.

>>44744931
That's great! A brand will do just as well. Hold still...

>>44744931
I don't feel like it's that weird for guys to get their ears pierced... One of my dad's ears was pierced, and both of my brother's are.

>>44744947
did you know dark elves are among the tallest of elf varieties?

>>44744936
You wound me, Anon.

>>44744956
Impressive, I bet they get good reception all the way up there!

>>44744971
so that's what the antennas are for

I don't need physical items. My wife's name is engraved on my heart.
Thank you miss lich.

>>44744336
Didn't some rock guitarist post this lava golem pic on his twatter?

>>44745062
slash did a couple years back iirc

>>44745055
cute...

>>44745058
She needs a warm rock to bask on.

>>44745058
>>44745080
Imagine snuggling with your snake wife on a warm rock

>>44745058
doesn't look like a very relaxed posture

>>44745085
treadmill
now

>>44745093
brumation soon.
please understood

>>44745101
please understood it's that lard ass tail I'll be under all winter

soft and chubby > fit and slim

>>44745133
Counterpoint
Soft and chubby = big and beefy

>>44745093
No!! I like her the way she is. She's soft...

>>44745147
>anon standing defensively over the treadmill
>"Anon... Come on. We've talked about this- I just want to exercise a little, that's all. I'm not going to be any less fun to cuddle."
>"Anon, please move. Anon- no, please let go of the- Why are you being so difficult about this?"

>>44745137
>beefy
I prefer porky

>>44745208
i mean it's got to be chicken breast or chicken thigh

>>44745208
>intrusive thoughts telling me to put carrots and potatoes in the pork spring again

>>44745215
You should, the girls would enjoy a snack. Float a bottle of wine or something in too, while you're at it.

>>44745220
oh, wine would work really well... a dry sherry, maybe? low boil... chopped leeks...

>>44742508
Shogs are not to be trusted

>>44745234
okay macready

>>44745228
>porcs and horcs come from miles around for Anon's salt and pepper deep-tissue massage
>spend hours in his saunas
>many porcs complain about strange wet patches on their skin when they wake up
>several have awoken to a pinch in the night, only to find a hickey on their thighs or butt

>>44745252
And now I'm imagining my eel wife getting a salt scrub...

>>44744518
Giga based anon, seriously the idea of a "slave" collar or tattoo (especially if the tattoo is on us both) is so nice

>>44745137
past expiration date?

>>44741323
You WILL defeat the main villains and expose the mindflayer and crotch squid elites who're the true final bosses

You WILL own a farm on the outskirts of Gretchen Land

You WILL have campfires in your backyard

You WILL have bountiful children with your Elf wife Or monstergirl or human wife which ever you prefer...

You WILL own numerous magical items

And you WILL be happy

>>44745278
Silly Anon, vampires have no expiration date.

>>44745297
bloodsucking hag hands wrote this post

What if I said this out loud in Monster girl City?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMINxQUn4H0

Jusst focusing on the message of the clip, what do MGC mamono do when a hapless human boy says this that would indicate them as 8 to 5 worker or "wage slave?"

>>44745324
>westernshit

>>44745332
Kill yourself you reddit spacing faggot

>>44745324
>>44745335
Also slept with Molag Baal...

>>44745297
>decrepit old coffin dweller
>prime, supple dhampir body
Man, what a tough choice...

G'night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, please steer young gremlins away from steampunk.
Industrial era style with gears strapped to them does not make a cool or interesting setting.

>>44745292
What if I don't want to defeat the main villains and simply just want to collect cool looking weapons, magical items or ancient artifacts?

>>44745276
We'll you'll love this then, it's canon!

>>44745324

>>44745341
>slept with
Anon she was raped. Like actual rape not MGE rape.

>>44745375
Shitty meme girl that isn't even an actual vampire.

>>44745335
>>44745341
went on gelbooru, searched vampire tag, saw big boob, and posted it. I didn't realize it was serana until you pointed it out

>>44745391
Vampire mosquitos and a zombie dragon

>>44745408
More like mantango in shapes of those.

Cat.

>>44745427
Cat

>>44745442
she's so hot I wish cats were real

>>44745442
cat

>>44745447
>Twin sisters
>One airheaded, the other cool and calm
>One absolutely stacked, the other absolutely flat
A tale as old as time

Scary cat

>>44741671
>>44741712
A freshly hatched dragon is called a whelp

>>44745504
I ordered an omelette.

>>44745504
i also accept pup

>>44745504
I don't care what it's called. I want to know why my dragon neighbors left it in my son's room along with book called "Everything You Need to Know about Imprinting."

>>44745359
God I love the fiend contract crest, twas my main reason for loving demons so much

>>44745413
That's Mother Miranda you talking about tho... But is Hisenburg a Gremlin with magnetic powers or an MGE incubus with magnet powers?

>>44745464
How do I get them to stop taking my lunch money? It's been escalating slowly anon last time they said they'll "take much more than money next time" please help

>"The Ancient God Vivec once literally bit off Molag Bal's penis to create his signature personal weapons. The spear, Muatra, meaning Milk-Taker."

>>44745512
Are you sure it wasn't a Wyvern? Wyverns and their dragoons bond early and perform well together due to familiarity

>>44745526
she looks scottish

>>44745276
I bet there would be plenty of Kejourou into tattoos; tattoong their lovers name into themselves was another way they'd show their devotion according to some stories

>>44745534
It's got wings, scales, and a temper. That's all I care about. The only time it doesn't hiss at me is when I bring them food.

>>44745549
>Scottish Kot
>Will most likely swing a realmsilver claymore at you during some point in the relationship

>>44741323
>"We are the most powerful military force in the history of this world. Every fight is out fight. Because what happens over there matters over here. We don't get to sit one out. Contrary to what the traditionalists, non-military talking heads and so-called pacifists would say. -Learning to use the tools of modern warfare is the difference between the prospering of your people, and utter destruction. We can't give you freedom. But we can and will give you the know-how to acquire it. And that, my friends, is worth more than a whole army base of steel. Sure it matters who has the biggest stick, but it matters a helluva lot more who's swinging it... This! -Is a time for heroes. A time for legends. History is written by the victors. Now, lets get to work, heroes."

>be me
>watching tv at home
>commercial comes on
>”HAVE YOU BEEN HURT IN A CAR OR TRUCK WRECK?”
>tv shows a sexy hell hound in a suit
>”CALL ME! HELEN HOUND, THE LAW DOG!!
>”I DONT BARK, I BITE!”
>” I’LL MAKE THOSE GREEDY INSURANCE COMPANIES ROLL OVER AND PLAY FETCH”
>I’LL HOUND EM AND POUND EM TO GET YOU THE MONEY YOU DESERVE!!”
>tv shows some random guy
>”I called the law dog after I was hit by an 18 wheeler, and she got me $700,000in my pocket”
>tv shows another random guy
>”helen hound was there for me when I was hit by a car and stuck in the hospital. She got me $1,200,000 for my case!”
>tv cuts back to the sexy hellhound
>”DONT GIVE THE INSURANCE COMPANIES AN INCH! CALL ME, HELEN HOUND, AND ILL MAKE THEM MY BITCH!!
>”DONT GET RAW DOGGED, GET THE LAW DOG!”
>”CALL ME RIGHT NOW!!!!”

>>44745571
>hire hellhound lawyer
>don't read the fine print because it isn't a demon
>legal fees end up being more than my settlement
>hell hound sues for the rest of her money
>settle out of court
>settle down into her house with my stuff

>>44745571
kek

>>44745571
She seems trustworthy

>>44745571
I'm suing Helen for legal malpractice. How can a lawyer practice law while being unmarried?

>>44745571
These new mamono commercials are great, really blows the old world crap outta the water.

What would happen if you told an Eros wurm you can't feel love

>>44745580
Seems way too underhanded and roundabout for a hellhound, she'd just strip herself naked and jump you the minute the door to her office closed.

>Monstergirls maybe angels, but they will use violence if needed to defend themselves or punish actual criminals or evil doers-
Cyclists.
>Huh? What was that anon?
Cyclists! If there are a type of people monstergirls can be violent towards is. Its Cyclists, they deserve to be beaten the shit out of.

If portals happen, I'd be glad if I see a kobold bite a Cyclists ass and an Ignis burns their stupid fucking bicycle. And it would not matter if "that was their only way of travel and transport!" No, fuck those piece of shits.

How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?

>>44745610
>half the commercials are just obscenely wealthy mamono who bought ad slots to shill themselves to suitors
>they all sound like late-night infomercials
>the worst ones are when monsters use their friends as "actors" to hype them up in some corny scenario
>you've seen the same vampire grow increasingly unhinged through her own commercial character arc
>the last commercial she appeared in, it was obvious that she had been crying before the take, and that the director was just finished shooting

>>44745522
>That's Mother Miranda you talking about tho...
No I'm not, they're all mold people. Literally everything in the game comes from stupid fucking mold nonsense.

Elf

>>44745624
...pergent?

>>44745625
Why doesn't she just go out at night and pick some night owl off the street. Let me guess, beggars CAN be choosers?

>>44745647
Hey, she isn't begging. Yet

>>44745634
Oh no?!

>>44745660
I wish this was the elf experience I could expect in the MGE.

>>44745664
Isn't it?

Ocelomeh offers you a taco. Do you accept?

>>44745674
What kind of taco? I'm really partial to beef, with lots of jalapenos and black olive.

Which girl are you bait for? I don't mean which one you like, I mean which one would be very attracted to you based on your personality? For me it's spiders

>>44745674
I could eat, but what can I offer her in return?

>>44745674
Look, I'm not falling for the taco under a basket trick. At least have the decency to set up a decent pit t

>>44745674
>>44745676
>>44745685
>>44745686
Don't. Its probably laced with drugs.

>>44745684
Bogey, as all sadposters are.

>>44745674
>Sitting near a pool in the middle of the jungle
>Taking the moment to wash your clothes and refill on water
>Hear rustling leaves next to you
>A large jungle cat is standing over you
>Extends a paw holding a pair of soft tacos, wordlessly

>>44745674
Of course. The order said this missionary assignment would be terrible but the locals seem friendly

>>44745674
It would be rude to refuse an offer of food.

>>44745427
Evil cat bodyguard?

>>44745624
When a human and a monster really like each other, well go follow that pretty fox lady, she'll teach you the finer details.

>>44745698
>she whispers, "You have to eat all the tacos"

>>44745693
And by "drugs" you mean spices?

>>44745698
No baja blast?

>>44745720
No, but maybe later there will be hot cocoa

>>44745714
Will any fox do? Like this one I found following me around?

>>44745684
>Mean
>Ugly
>Bald
>Bitter
>Full of hate
>No skills
>frog
None, I would be put in jail with other unredeemable bastards. I don't like you question

>>44745684
Bogey for sure. And what other monster girls would go after the quiet, autistic types.

>>44745726
That foxlet probably doesn't know either. Find one at least 100 years old.

I will make prolonged eye contact with a hebi.

>>44745733
>>frog
what

>>44745742
Even from a long distance that can have consequences

>>44745684
I can definitely think of a couple. Cheshire, Bogey, and Bogie because I'm very gloomy and also extremely easy to tease/fuck with. I like shitposting but my inept social skills would often leave me defenseless to pranks. Demon, Anubis, and Hellhound I'd probably also be attractive to as I'm extremely bureaucratic and rule oriented. I would get along well with the demon and anubis, the hellhound would try to break my strong will. I like dominant girls, so I'd assume I'd get one.

>>44745684
I've got a condition that means I have above average levels of iron in my blood, but it's fine if I donate from time to time.
It might mean my blood would taste terrible for a vampire, bat or vamp mosquito, but maybe it's an acquired taste and I might get treated like some walking vintage.

>>44745733
she can hear you, frenchie

>>44745745
French if you prefer

>>44745775
Don't know, she doesn't match the description.