/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>44285364
1) by not being a dirty neckbearded grognard
2) refer to image for the rest of the plan

>>44285388
but youre still ugly and disgusting

>>44285402
No more than the typical Edo period Japanese man. If Kourin's dad could get it on with a youkai then I got a chance.

>>44285424
>Kourin's dad
yea but hes cool and handsome so his dad probably is too ur just an imageboard dweller

>>44285364
You talk about Gensokyo's finest maidens yet post a picture of Alice. I'm too good for her and will only settle for her if none of her better sisters are available.

>>44285440
>imageboard dweller
okay yeah but so are you, and what do (you) bring to the table to woo your hu?

>>44285473
nothing buddy im just going to be a humble fisherman

>>44285511
for >>44285479

>>44285511
And getting some of that sweet, sweet fishe sexe?

>>44285534
why cant you just think about settling down with a nice girl from the village instead of having youkai whores on your mind all the time what the hell is wrong with you

>>44285511
Same brother.
I just wanna hang out and befriend those fine old men.
Miyoi can serve me sake but I don't wanna have anything to do with her gang of spooks.

>>44285610
I'd marry a superior Lunarian woman in a heartbeat given a chance to do so, but I'll settle for a youkai too. Humans are the bottomfeeders of Gensokyo and I don't want my children to be at the absolute lowest point on the foodchain.

>>44285364
>win the heart
I'm going to rape them.

>>44285364
By being a spineless unconfident agreeable retarded pushover yes man
Chicks dig that

>>44285364
It wouldn't be too hard, youkai women don't have common sense like humans, eg. if you so much as piss in their territory they'll push you down and force breed you

>>44285676
>>44285702
now try an idea that doesnt get you killed immediately after geniuses
>>44285700
i doubt thatll go as far as to win any of their hearts ull just be used for a few favors here and there then be forgotten about probably

>>44285364
I'll act really fucking bold and audacious to Yuuka, maybe she likes daring men. Who knows, I doubt any human males have ever talked back to her.

>>44285661
my friend what part of you being ugly and disgusting and none of them wanting you did you not understand
>>44285767
at most itd entertain her for a little bit before she gets bored of you
after which she would place you in great pain to laugh at how your attitude turns around

>>44285728
>i doubt thatll go as far as to win any of their hearts ull just be used for a few favors here and there then be forgotten about probably
just like irl

>>44285839
I unironically like CBT and am a masochist, I wouldn't mind too much.

>>44285853
there probably is a difference between CBT and something like your fingers being crushed to dust
but hey if ur still into it then you win

>>44285364
I would not. I would dedicate my free time to magic, books etc.

I'd rather explore (and most likely die doing so) this new world I've been dropped into, hopefully teaching myself magic in the process

>>44285873
>magic
only the cute girls can dabble in that stuff how about you just become a farmer or something

>>44285888
At deep pf my heart i am a cute girl too.

>>44285911
i mean if you make it to eintei i guess they can figure something out

>>44285917
I prefer being in heart only tough.

>>44285364
>gensokyo's finest ladies
anon, that's a picture of alice...

>>44286005
so what comes to your mind

>>44285511
I'm gonna cause an incident by challenging old man unshou to a fishing competition

>>44286033
that man looks like he has fucked countless youkai women before

>>44286046
no he has standards

>>44286046
wild and horny youkai flock to his house

>>44286005
And everything is right with the world
>>44286046
This desu i bet he rapes fairies to relieve his frustrations after a bad day of fishing.

>>44285364
1) I'm already handsome enough, though I do need to lose some weight.
2) Gensokyo seems like its capable of augmenting energy/magic, so it could bring forth/strengthen psychic powers (independent of magic). Great for self-defense and an interesting existence.
3) I'm highly proficient with technology and could probably built impressive things, particularly anything involving electrical engineering.

>>44286097
>I'm already handsome enough
no
>I need to lose some weight
its over
>it could bring forth/strengthen psychic powers
hypno rape doesnt work sorry
>I'm highly proficient with technology and could probably built impressive things
so ur going to be way too busy with work to get any hus not looking good ESL

>>44286140
Can't change reality bud. They're all gonna be mine and you'll die to a mouse youkai in your first two years of living in Gensokyo.

>>44286153
not to mention kappas exist buddy literally anything you can make will already be made by them and better so youll be out of work pretty quick
then all you have left is your fatass and thats not much
guess youre just gonna have to be a fisherman like the rest of us

>>44286174
Guess I should mention I'm a bit more than just highly proficient...
Anyways, YOU'LL make a fine fisherman! I'm sure of it! Everyone has got a place in society and there ain't no shame in it.

>>44286194
and kappas are still better whats your point

>>44286204
You can believe that if it makes you feel better.

rape

>>44286243
nigger theyre literally magical

>>44286266
lol so?

>>44286268
ok i will leave you to cope
next

>>44286268
>>44286272
what the fuck are you faggots even arguing about holy kek

>>44286323
if you could make any sort of real living as an engineer in gensokyo while kappas are around

>>44286332
Kappa don't trade their tech with the village and are physically unable to commit to long term projects

>>44285364
>and not instantly revolt them with your disgusting appearance and behaviour
You know I don't think I've even seen this happen outside of media - unless a guy is ugly enough to warrant the adjective "disfigured," it's more like you're... just another person, or a friend if that is maintained.

The assumption that gensokyo's finest ladies would by revolted is actually overselling your appearance - you'd probably be politely rejected, ignored, or blown-off (verbally) depending on the 'hu. And they would continue their life's story while your narrative just ends there without even closure - just a forgetful footnote in a day.

>>44286097
>3) I'm highly proficient with technology and could probably built impressive things, particularly anything involving electrical engineering
This gets you killed in Gensokyo since it might shift the status quo in favor of the humans.

>>44286332
NTA but of course yes. The kappas do not care enough to send someone to fix every little technical problem in the village.

>>44286437
>every little technical problem in the village
What technical problems though? I think that parts of the village might have been shown to have electricity, but mostly just lighting.
Realistically you wouldn't have any work except maybe helping Rinnousuke fix some weird thing he found.

>>44286436
Marisa knows much more about magic than many youkais, it doesn't get her assassinated by Yukari's private firing squad or anything.

>>44286449
They don't have any of that, the village is literally edo-tier in terms of tech.

>>44286389
they do contribute sometimes considering the weather device and all
ig theyre willing to help out but its more so the humans that dont want much to do with them
>>44286437
i doubt the village has technical problems pop up often at all so there wont be much to fix anyhow
and they dont need to create anything more advanced than what theyve got so there just wouldnt be any work for an engineer either way

>>44285364
I'm probably charming enough to at least get a cute youkai girl, my friends (both male and female) often compare my conversational skills to Saul Goodman.

>>44286451
Because she is a weirdo living in the woods, so you would need to live like her too.

>>44286521
nta but lol I wouldn't really mind

>>44286451
probably because she's just one individual thats pretty separated from the village and not an influence to the others as a whole
>>44286506
you get a youkai girl and then what u go up to the woods to be her dinner for the night

>>44286550
That would be the plan yes.
I will risk my life for youkussy, you cannot dissuade me.

>>44286550
>you get a youkai girl and then what
sexo of course

>>44286570
risk means theres a chance youre getting out
in this case youre just forfeiting it

>>44286609
The chances are slim, but not zero.
You cannot stop me AQ

>>44286550
Well, there are yokais that do take men as their husbands according to Japanese folklore. I'm sure he'll be fine.

>>44286174
>kappas
Kappas are literally incapable of making single, functional products. Kappa tech is crammed full of every cool idea they could think of and barely works. They do not see this as a problem, because to a kappa, using technology is indistinguishable from tinkering with technology. If they try to make something practical they get sick and die.

>>44286174
>kappas
Kappas are literally incapable of making simple, functional products. Kappa tech is crammed full of every cool idea they could think of and barely works. They do not see this as a problem, because to a kappa, using technology is indistinguishable from tinkering with technology. If they try to make something practical they get sick and die.

If Gensokyo is a world of fantasy then my imaginary friend will become real as a youkai. That way I won't come off as a complete loner loser.

>>44286671
Kapple confirmed??????
I bet you could make a killing making simple door hinges and small metal items.
Think about it, Europe had that shit worked out when people seriously belived in giants and elves, all you gotta do is bribe Yuugi with some distilled rice wine and boom better metal ore than any human could possibly find in Japan ordinarily.

>>44286713
Did people in Japan back then use doors with hinges? If so, that Anon could unironically make a great living off simple inventions like wooden doors, sliding windows, leather shoes, etc that are not "revolutionary" enough to catch the attention of the sages.

>>44286743
*If not

>>44286653
pretty uncommon in gensokyo though
iirc since killing humans from the outside isnt forbidden i think most would just get the quick idea to make you their meal rather than anything like that
>>44286671
I HEARD YOU IN YOUR FIRST POST
id say theres the weather device but i vividly remember reading something about it ending up being completely useless. but if not then that
>>44286743
a bunch of shit from the outside slips into rinnosuke's hands so stuff like leather shoes are probably already there, but anything to do with buildings is probably not yea

It's hard for my brain to understand what's happening, but being a farmer doesn't sound bad.

Have fun, be fun and not be a dick, I guess. It'd probably be really hard for someone like Reimu, but I like bugs so if I wanted to go for Wriggle that could be relatively easy.

>>44286879
I wanna be Minoriko's husband, cute goddesh, huge assets, literal god but still humble, she is perfect wife material!

>>44285364
by not trying

Easiest girl in gensokyo. She won't care what you look like, as long as you are easily startled she'll stick to you like glue for the all you can eat spirit buffet.

>>44285364
I'd hire Marisa to fix me up.
Given her determination and unwillingness to admit failure, it would ensure that I'd either end up married to a cute girl (happiness optional), or die horrifically, upon which I'd turn into a vengeful spirit and start haunting Marisa's house, mildly annoying her.

>>44285364
Is there any question that the correct answer is to tell Reimu that you were planning on asking out that blonde bombshell in a tabard, and then treating Gappy with common decency when she inevitably goes after you in order to end up with enough influence to actually improve the demiplanar shithole that is Gensokyo? Seems like the obvious choice to me, at least.

how do i get this alien to like me?

>>44289579
Call GameStop and ask them for Battletoads

>>44289579
Don't take up archery.

>>44285364
Kokoro is probably autistic enough to accept me. I'd learn about Noh and talk to her about it. I'm sure she'd love someone to talk about it with.

I am ugly and 172 cm

>>44290330
That's still many inches taller than Reimu and Marisa. Can't do anything anout the face though, sorry.

>>44285364
By beating them with the cock? Nobody can beat the cock. Not the cock.

>>44290913
But what if someone tries to beat you with the cock first?

>>44291051
Are you volunteering to beat that anon with your cock?

>>44291066
Everything for my lady's honour.

>>44291096
Sounds more like it's for her viewing pleasure if you ask me.

I don't think I would get any sort of attention from anyone in Gensokyo, especially if I already don't get any here.
I would probably do what >>44286879 said, just turn into a farmer.

motherfuckers who havent spoken a sentence to a girl think theyll suddenly be masters of approaching once they get to gensokyo

>>44285364
Find a fairy and beg.

>>44294482
Offer her candy or something, she'll be bouncing on your cock in no time

>>44294352
They have been playing eraTohoTW too much

>>44285364
described my exact thought process before on multiple occasion

> Be me, 22
> Frequently told I'm rather attractive. While currently single, I have had 3 different girlfriends in the past at separate times as well as 3 other girls that liked me but I never was together with. Looks are not a problem, nor is personality.
> Get Gap'd to Gensokyo or arrive by other means
> Remember Koumakan
> Instead of trying to break in, convince Meiling to escort me inside or somehow speak with Sakuya briefly my intentions
> After being allowed in, find Voile
> Find Patchouli, or Koakuma to lead me to the former
> Humbly ask to study magic under her, as an apprentice if she'd have me.
> If she turns me down, I still offer to try my best to help around Voile - help that's very unlikely to be declined
> If she accepts, perfect, makes things easier and also I learn cool magic
> Play the long game, slowly growing a relationship with her, careful not to lean too far into a teacher/student sort of relationship, and rather into a platonic or even romantic one
> Locked Girl's date gas been unlocked.
> Win

>>44294600
why would they just let some random dude in
they dont need ur help around with anything they have a million maids there to do everything that needs to be done

>>44294629

although I canw fly nor would I have powers to actually defend the mansion unless I learn magic -- be it on my own or under Patchouli -- unlike the fairy maids I can actually keep my head on straight figuratively and get things done, where fairy maids are sometimes described as lazy or overly playful. Aside from Sakuya and Koakuma, few are around to keep them in line. I would be welcome help that doesn't need otherwise attending.

>>44294352
What if the girls approached us first?

>>44294774
They will approach you and castrate you because the girls deem you a threat to Gensokyo society

>>44294785
Akyuu no matter how much you doompost, you cannot stop determined enough Outsiders from increasing the half-youkai population of Gensokyo.

>>44294768
>unlike the fairy maids I can actually keep my head on straight figuratively and get things done
i think they do get things done otherwise they wouldnt be there at all. if they were needed to be kept in line so bad or extra hands were required then sakuya would just have it be done already instead of waiting for some random guy to come around and offer his help
plus one advantage to fairies is not having to feed them or care for their upkeep at all, id guess youd be more of a bother overall than their occasional antics
and i dont think you would be able to help much around a huge mansion without having the mobility of a fairy, what are u gonna do really. i doubt theyre troublesome so often that sakuya or koakuma arent enough to handle it in a moment's notice and forget about it so youre not really worth keeping around just for that
the most u could do is bring tea to patchouli but she already has koakuma for that

>>44294774
they would soon realize their mistake

>>44295079
Anon I think you gravely underestimate the actual value of manpower, especially considering that from the very first appearance of the SDM the fairy maids were established to not do their jobs well. Why do you think they're the leading importer of hobgoblins, for that matter?

>>44295103
okay but again what are you gonna do to help in a huge mansion while u can only sprint around
u pretty much need to be able to fly in order to get anything done quickly in there, otherwise you dont really contribute much manpower at all
plus, if the fairies are starting any trouble or being lazy theyre not gonna listen to ur retarded human ass theyll talk shit to you and fly away wtf are you gonna do about it

>>44295131
The anon going for patchy actually has a pretty good idea all things considered simply for the fact that, speed aside, he's goinf to be objectively superior for any sort of precision work or anything else that requires delicacy or a brain.
>Muh koakuma
Ignoring that she's not even a character, it's most reasonable to assume that binding such a creature to your will would be an ongoing toll and even if not it's far from unreasonable to assume a dedicsted human assistant would have value.

>>44295178
>he's goinf to be objectively superior for any sort of precision work or anything else that requires delicacy or a brain.
sakuya and koakuma dont just sit around
>she's not even a character
no
>binding such a creature to your will would be an ongoing toll
nothing indicating thats how familiars work if we're assuming that she is one
but even if true it wouldnt be much of a bother for patchouli at all since shes supposed to be a big deal for a magician. id say shes the kind that just wouldnt have koakuma around altogether if it really were a problem
>far from unreasonable to assume a dedicsted human assistant would have value.
idk why you think so
patchouli just needs someone to bring her books and tea and if u cant fly then youre not eligible for that

>>44285364
Reminder that it is extremely easy to pick up youkai girls in Gensokyo and any posts saying otherwise is made by Akyuu

Who would the nicest person in Gensokyo be for regular humans? I'm thinking Kogasa or some fairy like Daiyousei

>>44295910
kosuzu?
there probably is some random villager girl who is an absolute angel
>kogasa
still a youkai so isnt the most well regarded even if shes nice
>Daiyousei
iirc shes still an annoying prankster bitch like most fairies

>>44295910
Keiki-sama!

>>44286046
From the impish fairy to the mighty Oni to the prideful Tengu to even the holy goddess.
They can't let a man fish in peace...

>>44295910
Kasen probably

>>44295968
She's well-liked, the villagers even ask her to babysit their children

>>44295178
The hobgoblins are a kind of western fey. On the of the defining features of european fairies is that they're really good at housework.
In fact, given that the mansion is actually far far larger on the inside that it appears otherwise, you're probably next to useless since either you would get nothing done, or you would spend every waking hour cleaning. Plus you would be more expensive to pay on top of being worse at the job that the hobgoblins or yes, Sakuya stopping time to do it herself.
>>44295910
Daiyousei isn't even a character. She's probably just a mindless rat like the majority of her kind.

>>44299792
>mindless rat
Just cool it with the anti-fairiesism remarks.

Daiyousei is a good girl

Why would I want to win any of their hearts? They're awful people. Your choices are between man-eating monsters, arrogant godlike beings that don't respect you, permanent brain damaged children with magical powers, or sociopathic murderers. All the powerlevels will make it so you cannot control your personal space or apply force in opposition to any of them either. And humans are not respected at all unless they have a god's favor making them unbeatable, they're seen more as cattle that solely exists to get farmed and nothing else. And I have enough self-respect and dignity to not reduce myself to a doormat to a soulless monster that sees no value in me.

>>44300403
Zip it, Reimu. Go make your own thread.

>bluds think that being a farmer means forever irrelevance
Looks like someone has never read Beware of Chicken

>>44300568
W-what does the chicken do?

>>44300632
Turn into a spirit beast

>>44300403
yea but theyre hot

>>44300403
Touhou "gods" aren't even really gods but are instead some other species/class of youkai. Letting some patchwork figments of humanities collective imagination push you around is ridiculous.

>>44301771
>are instead some other species/class of youkai.
This is not what kunitsukami or are have ever been, but they're in the same ball-park power-wise and in regards to how belief affects them.

>>44301771
>Letting some patchwork figments of humanities collective imagination push you around is ridiculous.
Isn't that literally just how religion and their respective gods work?

>>44301973
Yes, literally

Ladies? I'd beeline towards Kourindou

>>44302056
Most lucid response. Bashing Rinnosuke's prostate is the only way to go.
>Verification not required.

>>44302056
Good idea. I could explain absolutely everything about computers to Rinnosuke. We'll get some kappa to generate electricity for us (probably with a hydroelectric dam).

>>44302094
>>44302179
Duality of man

>>44285364
Suicide and praying that I reincarnate as a better person.

>>44302266
No anon nooo

>>44285364
I think that my best shot would be turning into a youkai myself in order to not be aniquilated immediately by one of the girls. I don't know for sure how different is touhou canon from the actual mythologies but assuming that every rule from the myths are real, one human could possibily become an oni if he is edgy enough, if lucky enough you can bring vampires and werewolfs to the table. It would suck a lot, but at the end of the day youkussy is youkussy.

>>44302635
We all know what happens when a non-female human turns into a youkai, Anon..

>>44285364
I'm not sure I would. The differences in lifespan are too great, and even if you somehow managed to hermit/youkai yourself you'd grow tired of each other eventually. Even with a human lifespan elderly couples only stay together for convenience.

>>44302635
only the cute girls get to do that and live
>>44302706
just why do you people instantly think of youkai whores when we say "finest"

>>44302635
Turning into a youkai is literally becoming subhuman. You suddenly can't live without fear/faith, your soul becomes frail (to the point that getting possessed by a vengeful spirit is permanent death), and your humanity is quite literally lost. Its better to take your chances trying to become a magician/psychic.

>>44300632
Kick a lot of ass and look good doing it.
>>44302728
Because the only human contenders are Reimu, Kosuzu, and that nice woman at the temple school.

>>44285364
Being a farmer is actually a viable route. The idea is to begin serious meditation in downtime and try to sense out qi and start foundation for cultivation (this is the bare minimum). Ideally maybe even progressing while working. Give unto the land and the land will give unto you. Send down some qi, and cycle it through the crops and soil and maybe reabsorb some. Might take years but it should net at least some low quality spirit plants/rice but if I do it as much as I could it can get pretty good. Could try and sell them to certain people who could use them, or just eat for more gains. Save up for a good pot and start experimenting to mix up some crude potions. Remember that the relationship between you and the land is something mutual. Worse case scenario the crops mutate into some eldritch horror that puts me out of my misery.

>>44303028
isnt that enough

>>44306401
There's a lot more than three anons. I'm also not sure that Kosuzu wouldn't go yandere on her beau, and trade books for scissors.

>>44285364
>>44295910
My money is on Narumi. Give her some food and you're golden.

>>44307987
and how will you resist the urge to make fun of her ears

>>44308161
Her ears are cute

>>44308163
thats body horror dude

>>44302728
And why do you think of human whores? Alright, let me see: Cannibal maid which might very well not be human, kleptomaniacal and pathological liar magician, lazy and sociopathic shrine maiden. Only Sanae is viable but I doubt the frog will let me fuck her miko.

>>44308243
nice try race traitor

>>44302696
>>44302728
There's no reason to believe that even cute girls could get away with it. It's just forbidden entirely for the villagers.
The real question is if outsiders would get the same punishment, or if someone who leaves the village and lives elsewhere in Gensokyo would still count as a villager in this regard, since you'd need to survive youkai attacks for quite a while before you have the chance to abandon one's own humanity.

>>44308420
>There's no reason to believe that cute girls could get away with it
of course they can
>The real question is if outsiders would get the same punishment
maybe since the laws for youkai killing outsiders are more lenient itd work that way around as well
but thats just assuming they would be fair

>>44308291
Human females will NEVER beat youkai ladies.

>>44308723
at sucking cock? of course never

>>44308200
Narumi's ears aren't egregious I find. They're a little goofy but Narumi is such a cute and nice girl. She seems like a gentle soul.

>>44285440
Kourin himself is a beta/twink looking ''man'' (who also wears glasses btw) its safe to assume that yokai girls arent as retardly anal and picky and whorish as outside world human toilets.
>>44287652
Based. Do what you like and just bee yourself.

>>44305676
Elona was right, farmer trully is the best class.

>>44285364
I'm writing a whole story about this actually. It's nowhere near done but the planning is about 80% finished

Hatate would be a pretty easy catch and would make for a nice girlfriend. Just by checking up on her ocasionally and making sure she doesn't kill herself, she'd fall in love with you.

>>44312717
>would make for a nice girlfriend.
>Just by checking up on her ocasionally and making sure she doesn't kill herself
>she'd fall in love with you.
True, but how much love exactly? Maybe a little too much.

>>44313024
No such as too much love. Specially for loveless losers like us.

>>44313107
Yeah I guess. If Hatate was the first to latch onto me I would probably accept her.

>>44313024
>Maybe a little too much.
Just the way I like it. I want her to be overly clingy with me.

>>44313024
I was once locked out of my house while drunk and had to squeeze through a 4" tall gap in my window which was 7 feet above the floor.

>>44313137
You really don't
that shit is hell with mortals
A superhumanly strong monster with literal centuries of accumulated mental illness would be nuclear

Yoshika Miyako, as a zombie or not, is easy to control.
She'll keep quiet and do as she's told, all I have to do is get her under my thumb, it's the obvious choice really.

>>44312706
Kirisame dating services thread?

IM GOING TO ALICE

>>44313223
NTA but while yes, actually capturing the heart of a youkai would have terrifying consequences, an interesting life is a good life.

>>44313740
Wishing interesting times on someone is a curse though...

>>44313760
One man's curse is another man's inhuman wife.

>>44313223
I know what I want.
Normal girls are boring. If I wanted a plain and uninteresting girlfriend, I'd date a human woman.

>>44313740
>>44313764
>>44313784
there are plenty of far more stable and healthy youkai brides you could choose from
Like Yukari, she's a model wife that would definitely give you well adjusted children

>>44313583
No, an actual honest to god story with chapters, structure, themes, etc.

>>44313858
But I heard from Reimu that she went into menopause 1000 years ago...

>>44314103
Slander by the grumpy miko because nobody wants to marry her miserable ass

>>44314103
Just keep dumping your baby batter into her to reverse that.

>>44313858
>Like Yukari
Yeah, I'm sure that going to the bingo with her on a friday night is going to be a blast.

>>44313858
senile whore

RAPE

>>44285364
I am 5'5 so maybe one of the hags would want me
if all else fails I'm sure seiga wouldn't mind me

>>44308723
I want to stick my arm in that just to see how she'd react

>>44316087
They would never go for a shorty like you when a 5'6" someone like me exists!

>>44317007
the hags dig shorter guys anon

>>44317134
5'10" is the king of the manlets, so even though 5'5" is shorter physically speaking 5'10" is "shorter" in spirit, logically speaking, so they'd go for anyone taller but <= 5'10".

>>44285364
I will use modern technology to make the humans living in the village afraid of me,
I use this power to garner immense amounts of faith, until I myself become a god in gensokyo, then, once I'm respected as one of the few male gods in gensokyo, I'm sure some of the lesser youkai will want me

>>44317134
>the hags dig shota guys anon
ftfy

>>44285364
1 take a bath
2 shave
3 brush my teeth
4 wear my best clothes
5 talk to them about my passion, ask them what they want to achieve in life
6 shown them my collection of animal fetus in a jar in my basement
7 get sex(probably)

>>44317720
>shown them my collection of animal fetus in a jar in my basement
You have Seiga on lockdown anon
Hope you like your evil wife

>>44314103
She can gap eggs into her womb, or mess with the the boundary of Fertility and Pregnancy. It’s all good, man.

I think its easy to forget that there are gigantic amounts of unnamed characters that exist. There are other misfortune gods like Hina, other Satoris besides the Komeiji sisters, tons of kappa, tons of tengu, etc.
Surely there must be one out there for you!

>>44313858
Easiest catch in Gensokyo, and made for purely political courtship.

>>44285364
I'm relying on the fact that at least some of the more dominant and playful hags (Yuyuko, Mamizou, Okina, etc) would prefer a manlet boyfriend.

>>44323231
How manlet are we talking

>>44323276
Below Japanese average. Sad, I know.

>>44313354
>is easy to control.

Not for you she won't be. Seiga essentially holds her remote and it'll be her that you would have to contend with for ownership over Yoshika. Yoshika seems to have some sentimental value to her so I doubt you would be able to convince her to pass control over to you.

>>44323283
I'm around Japanese man height (like around 171 cm) but in Europe sizes like that are dwarfed.

>>44285364
Fairy rape all day every day.

>>44285364
I know better than to think I can get the finest of the bunch. I am willing to settle for a random no name one. It seems achievable for an equally random no name human like myself.

>>44319003
>She can gap eggs into her womb
But if she gaps someone else's eggs into her own womb, wouldn't the baby not be related to her at all? Would she be okay with raising another woman's child?

>>44323347
Yukari's immune system would attack the egg

>>44317360
Look at those fucking stretch marks on her breasts. Must've been one hell of a night

>>44313223
Not him but you didn't account for the existence of my own mental illness when it comes to matters of love. If anything I would make her sick of me with how much I would hound her for returning even a fragment of my affection.

>>44288678
She's also well-liked by the villagers, you definitely can marry and stay with her in the village. Truly the thinking man's choice.

>>44288678
I have always disliked how easily started I am just by loud noises. She'll see me as an easy mark if she ever catches wind of that.

>>44288678
It also helps that I have some minor blacksmithing experience!

How to get Suika gf?

>>44324262
How alcoholic or willing to become an alcoholic are you?

>>44324277
I'm a real lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Maybe I could convince her to try cannabis instead. I'd drink with her if not.

>>44324293
It'll be a touching moment when you are forced to reveal to her that it is not alcohol you are addicted to, but her company.

>>44324299
Well, onis respect honesty...

>>44324300
I hope you're an entertaining drunk.

>>44324333
I'd try to entertain her, but considering how old she really is, I'd probably be better to go on a drunken rant about Buddhist philosophy and then try to uproot a willow tree.

>>44324507
I wouldn't count myself out just yet. You have one advantage on your side, the advantage of novelty. As someone from both the outside world and a different country entirely, you'd have much more to share and discuss than the average Japanese Takeshi.

I'll win the heart of Gensokyo's finest ladies with my disgusting appearance and behaviour

>>44324727
That's the spirit!

>>44324727
Aside Tewi, which other 2hous would fall in love with ugly bastards like our anon here?

>>44325781
shion if you bribed her with money

>>44325781
Seija, because no one else will

>>44324727
me on the left

>>44325781
Any of the fairies.

>>44325781
Alice is so lonely she'd take anything she can get at this point!

>>44328197
I have a huge ryona fetish but most girls aren't into it. I'm so glad that Alice will accept me.

>>44325781
Tewi?

>>44328402
Alice secretly has a self-harm fetish. She always thinks she's not enough and that at every small mistake of hers she should be punished. You two would be perfect for each other!

>>44328402
Don't do it anon, Alice is a murderer and will wind up killing you for fun!

>>44325781
Aunn

>>44285364
I'm told I'm handsome and youthful often. Otherwise, I'm about what you'd expect of an anon in terms of personality and social skills.
Maybe I can wrangle Sanae.

S-sorry boys, as an actual real female with a working bajingo, I would reign supreme and destroy any of you if you dared to come to Gensokyo in search of one of these fair maidens. You think I'd allow Tewi to fall for any of you ugly bastards? You think I'd just LET any of these lovely youkai ladies be lonely enough to even want to look at you disgusting, filthy men? We would point and giggle at you, whispering to each other while bullying you anytime you were near. If you pushed things too far, I can just convince Reimu or one of the other psycho bitches to murder you. The only anons who get a pass are the farmer and fishing niggas.

>>44328838
By the time you finished your essay I had enough time to impregnate my wife with triplets.

>>44328838
Jokes on you, im a fat, bald, ugly bastard and I naturally counter women and their nitpicking

>>44328838
Shut up, dyke. I'm going to sleep with every single fairy in Gensokyo and there's nothing you can do about it.

>>44328838
ywnbaw

>>44328838
Jokes on you I'm not an ugly bastard

>>44329076
And neither am I. More importantly, I like to fish.

>>44329076
You are an ugly gentleman?

>>44328838
im just going to bang rinnosuke before you get to

>>44288678
but she sucks

>>44339270
She's surprisingly good at sucking? She really is the perfect youkai wife.

>>44285364
Everytime people try to talk to me i simply stay quiet while sometimes nodding my head waiting for them go away. Which 2ho is most likely to fall in love with me?

>>44341504
none because you wont approach any

>>44342170
But irl people like to approach me, a girl even asked for my number some time ago. I did not give it to her of course.