/jp/ - Otaku Culture

What do you mean? Sounds fairly straightforward to me.

>>44121508
Speed dating: Youkai edition.
To the youkai though, it's advertised as fast food.

>>44121531
But what does she own or what services does she provide that actually offer either

>>44121508
It means there are a lot of wonderful girls in Gensokyo waiting for the love of their life, and Marisa helps to bring them together to spread happiness across the land.
It's safe AND reliable, anons. What are you waiting for?

>>44121600
Huh? Have you read the print works?

>>44121508
I want to go treasure hunting with Marisa and get abandoned deep within youkai territory!

I want romantic fulfilment with Marisa

>>44121609
Look, I'm not being funny but I tried Marisa's Romantic Fulfilment service and I've got some real doubts about it's quality. She tried setting me up with this nice blonde girl, but I don't know what she looked like on account of it being pitch black every time I met her (I think she doesn't like sunlight? Kind of strange.) and the last time, I woke up halfway down a river and there was one of the Shrine Maiden's ofuda stuck to my chest. I don't know what happened but Miss Hakurei is kind of scary so I don't want to ask her and I haven't seen Miss Rumia since.
So, I'm not entirely sure if Marisa has the best options in mind. I'm willing to give it another shot, but considering how hard it is to reach her in the forest, I might have better luck just asking that cute redhead at the cafe if she wants to get drinks after work some day.
Pic related, the redhead. She seems nice even if she won't tell me what happened to her neck.

>>44121508
Did she stutter? She will help you PLAP PLAP PLAP Kogasa and make your bloodline prosper with an army of half umbrella, half human, half daemon babies.

>>44121508
Does anyone have the posts from last thread about anon's romantic adventures?

>>44121508
Romantic fulfillment!?

Marisa, let's go on a treasure hunt!, and along the way we'll have to battle lots of Youkai!
By the end we'll have developed romantic feelings towards each other, and then of course... (bloodline fulfillment)

>>44125540
I know how this story ends.

>>44121508
can't you read? it means to tread carefully when visiting the forest of magic. do you know? there are loads of weirdos, and they grow strange mushrooms, for who knows what. and someone stole my wallet there last sunday.

>>44125410
Well, you clearly made it out okay, so you should thank Marisa for ensuring your safety.
You obviously must've done something to set the poor girl off, like making a sudden movement, dangling a light around, or exposing your delicious human flesh. You should really know better than that by now.

Fortunately, Marisa has already found a new girl for you. She's a more experienced woman, so things should be a lot less awkward with her. She's really interested in you, too, said you were a "prime specimen", so it's a sure thing this time.

>>44125410
So, how did it go?

>>44133849
It's okay, I guess. I know Marisa's got a lot of contacts, so I'm sure she can help me out eventually. Maybe one day I'll finally meet Miss Rumia and be able to apologize properly. I guess she doesn't like hugs.
So, I let Marisa introduce me to Miss Seiga. She was really pretty and really nice, so I thought I'd hit the jackpot. She kept smiling and holding onto my arm, and her assistant (I think Miss Seiga said 'pet', but I'm sure she meant it as a nickname) had her arms out toward me every time I looked at her, so I tried to take her hands, but she was really cold, so I stopped. I think we got to Miss Seiga's home at some point, and I remember thinking it was really weird, because all the doors were perfect circles, and I don't remember finding any of them when I asked if I could use the bathroom. Anyway, I think I must have tripped on the way back, because I don't really remember what happened after that until I woke up with Miss Seiga sitting on top of me and doing something to my head that felt really nice. I think I got so comfortable that I fell asleep again, and the next time I woke up, I was in Eientei and felt really stiff. Doctor Yagokoro told me that she 'saved the talisman as a souvenir', whatever that means, and that Miss Hakurei dragged me in for trying to bite her. I haven't seen Miss Seiga for a while now, so I guess I must have gone and done something rude like usual.
Sometimes I have no luck with women. At least Marisa is patient enough to keep trying with me. I also found this picture in my bed at Eientei. I don't really remember it, though.

>>44137144
You really should consider just asking that redhead out. I have a feeling that Miss Marisa's female social circle may just consist of a bunch of likewise weirdos. A nice girl with a normal, steady job might just be a good change of pace, and who knows! If things go well, you may be in for a heady night...

>>44137144
anon feels really light for some strange reason!

>>44137144
You can't keep messing up like this, anon. Marisa is doing her best to help you find love, but even she can't create miracles, ya know? You have to put in the effort yourself first and foremost.
But fine, Marisa thinks that the older woman angle is still the way to go, so she pulled some strings and convinced another one to give you a chance. She has a lot of love in her heart, so as long as you accept her feelings, things should go well for you.
Just don't mess it up again.

>>44121508
>Please exercise the utmost caution when visiting the Forest of Magic
You can't tell me what to do.

>>44121508
i don't get this entire ad at all. none of those advertised services have anything to do with each other. Marisa isn't even home most of the time. She says "safe and reliable" with a gesture suggesting she's selling a product when she's selling a service (what about this isn't supposed to be "safe and reliable" for the consumer? half of these are services marisa's doing herself and the other half presumably involves talismans and maybe aphrodisiacs, neither i'd presume to be especially dangerous, and i wouldnt presume it unreliable when you have fucking magic bullshit backing it up.) and when did marisa give a rat's ass about actually drumming up business? all she cares about is one-upping reimu (and failing cough cough enenra).

What did she mean by this?

>>44137270
I took your advice and tried to ask my dear waitress out, but she said she wasn't in the right headspace for a relationship right now. Still, at least that means there's a chance.
>>44144560
I've taken these words to heart, which is why I thought I would be more proactive with Miss Junko. She was really tall and her eyes were kind of scary, but she did seem pretty happy when I agreed to hold her hand. I decided to take her to a nice scenic little spot in the village where you could see the moon on a clear night, and luckily, it was a full moon that very night!
Now, here's where things get a bit hazy. I know that I said that the moon was beautiful tonight, which is what all those characters in the cheesy romance novels I found at Suzunaan said, and Miss Junko stiffened a little at that, which I think was just because she wasn't expecting it. I asked her if she also liked the moon, and she got kind of quiet at that, so I continued. I said that I always wished I could visit the moon and see the jade rabbits who live up there with Chang'e, at which point, and I'm reasonably sure I'm remembering this correctly, she exploded.
I'm not saying I can't handle a bit of a temper, but I do draw the line at literal flames. Anyway, while I was rolling around on the ground covered in third degree burns, I heard Miss Hakurei and someone I didn't know show up. The last bit I remember before passing out from the pain was Miss Hakurei saying she'd take me to Eientei while whoever she was with handled Miss Junko.
This is a bit of a separate thing, but I'm starting to think Doctor Yagokoro might have a few screws loose. She barely talks unless it's to emotionlessly tell me what's wrong with me and what she's doing about it, and I don't think she asked for my consent at any point during the operation. I'm also sure that at one point, I passed out from looking at her assistant, which is strange because I'm not THAT into bunny girls. I mean, they're alright, wouldn't mind giving it a shot at some point, but nothing like that.
Anyway, after I was released (Doctor Yagokoro said that the scars would fade but the 'tissue touched by divine flame' was hers, whatever that means), I got Marisa (She said that since she'd seen me so many times at this point, the formalities weren't all that necessary) to let me meet Miss Junko again so I could break it off properly. She took it really well, all things considered. Even said that she might know a girl or three she could set me up with.
Things are looking up for me!

>>44145161
For example: If you are a farmer and a youkai is stealing your food or whatever, you can pay her to get rid of it.
If you have a quest item inside a dungeon you need to retrieve or something like that you can pay her to retrieve it.
>either i'd presume to be especially dangerous, and i wouldnt presume it unreliable when you have fucking magic bullshit backing it up.
Magic can not only fail, but can probably backfire as well, which she assures will not happen with her magic.

>>44145755
Its things like these that show what an awful world gensokyo is to live in. It makes me wonder why so many anons want to live in it and befriend youkai, instead of killing, beheading, roundhouse kicking youkai like any reasonable human should.

>>44146513
Because sex.
I need not elaborate.

>>44146629
Where in Gensokyo can one acquire this "sex"?

>>44146641
Ask Reimu, and bring $10.

>>44146513
>youkai die
>magic die with them
>gensokyo gets destroyed, you go back to living in the boring real world where money rules, you need to work 18 hours a day and pay taxes

>>44146726
Better than being eaten by youkai.
TYD.

>>44121508
Boy howdy, is this the thread for more wonderfully horrible dates?
I think it is!

>>44146513
If I'm going to die, better to die being disintegrated by magic by a youkai that looks like a pretty woman then dying of cancer or something.

>>44145891
>Even said that she might know a girl or three she could set me up with.
That's really not recommended, anon. Who knows what could happen with girls Marisa hasn't been able to vet yet. You might end up eaten, or worse.
Just give her some time to look for more prospects. Maybe Ali- okay, maybe not that one. But I'm sure that Marisa will be find someone even for a guy as hopeless as you.

>>44145891
>a girl or three
Here's a piece of advice: if she mentions one of those is a redhead, the other a blonde and the third's got blue hair, you turn around 360 degrees and moonwalk away.

Just do it, don't ask me how I know.

>>44146939
Sounds like a skill issue, simply do not be eaten by the yokai.
Reccomended strategies: Impregnate them instead.

>>44152858
>impregnate them

Youkai are super powerful. They wont just let a human like me do that.

>>44153816
Nonsense, just flatter them and show them genuine human kindness. Youkai never get that and it's super effective, the hardest part is them figuring out you're genuine and not trying pull something on them. Once you get past that you're home free to love and impregnate, unless you're dealing with Koakuma or something; just ask her for a quickie in the back.

>>44145891
wow, this anon really is beyond help.
you do mention loonies, or moon bunnies around these parts. everyone in gensokyo hate moonfolk apologists.

I get the sense that some people are disappointed in me. Marisa's been a bit slow to answer me, and whenever Miss Hakurei patrols the village and spots me, she stares at me like she's looking at walking garbage. She still scares me. I think Doctor Yagokoro is starting to look at me like a test subject, and I think my favourite waitress decided to head out as soon as I passed by the other day.
My last date was...strange. Marisa said that perhaps I needed to aim for someone with responsibility, so she set me up with a messenger of the Dragon Palace. Miss Iku was stunning, a true beauty, to the point that I wondered how the hell Marisa had convinced her to meet me. Well, I learnt my lesson from last time, so I let Miss Iku decide where we would go. She suggested a walk around the outskirts of the village, out in the sunshine. That sounded good to me, and I even knew some nice secluded spots with lovely rivers and views, so I thought nothing could go wrong this time.
And honestly, it was going really well. We seemed to get along, and her work sounded really fascinating, even if she seemed to keep having to interrupt it to deal with the whims of the Celestials. I guess even Celestial Maidens have it rough sometimes. Anyway, around sunset, we were walking back when I tripped. I looked down and at my feet was some sort of cloth. I picked it up, and that's when Miss Iku became...bizarre. She got really worked up, and started grabbing onto my arm and saying that it was her veil provided by the Lord of Heaven. Apparently, by losing it, it meant I had to marry her.
Now, I don't mind forward girls, but marriage on the first date? Isn't that a little much? At this point, I started to wonder if I'd made a mistake, but Miss Iku had been really nice before this so I went along with it a little longer in the hopes I could talk her down. Which I thought wouldn't be that bad until she decided to take me above the clouds to her home.
I don't know how many girls rooms most of you have been in, but Miss Iku clearly didn't have much spare time. Her room was a bit of a mess and I tried my hardest to avoid some of the more...unsavoury items on the floor. While she rattled off wedding plans, I decided to try and clean the room a little. This turned into a lot, because I actually got surprisingly into it, and finally after I was finished, I realised I would have to let the girl down gently because I could already see my future as a live-in maid.
In the end, I told her that my heart belonged to someone else and I couldn't marry her. I thought this was a nice, gentle response.
When I woke up in Eientei, I found out that she had taken back her veil and chucked me off the clouds, and it was only the lucky appearance of a passing blue-haired girl with peaches on her hat who happened to be floating past and redirected me away from crashing headfirst into the Forest of Magic and instead had me crash headfirst into Eientei's gardens. Doctor Yagokoro fixed my traumatic brain injuries (She said that the fragment of peach that I'd apparently hit when I collided with the blue-haired girl and she had taken during surgery was payment enough), I was released.
Personally, I think this one wasn't my fault. Still, I'd like to meet the girl who threw me at Eientei again. Just to say thanks.

>>44155932
What did anon do to make everybody hate him so?

>>44155971
He played the games on easy AND used continues.

>>44155932
I'm still rooting for you anon
You'll find that perfect someone

>>44155932
guys, I think there is something going on with marisa and doctor yagokoro...

>>44145755
Flan and I share the same Zodiac sign? These coincidences just keep stacking up.

>>44156470
Eirin would never engage in a lesbian relationship with that guiltless thief!!
She has Mokou for that.

What happens when Marisa runs out of suitors for Anon, does Anon get Marisa in the end?

>>44166359
What?
Marisa doesn't want some random outsider who's desperate enough to come to her for dating advice.
She'd much rather spend time with ____me____ instead.

>>44155932
I hope that Anon has better luck with Tenshi-sama!

>>44166369
That sleeve looks like Reimu showing more than a passing interest there though

So, it turns out that ramming head first into a building after falling from the clouds leaves some damage that even Doctor Yagokoro's skills can't heal. Because of that, that rabbit assistant of hers showed up at my doorstep this morning and told me that I needed to report to Eientei for physical therapy every day for the next month. She wouldn't tell me exactly what I would be doing, because she "Isn't being paid to handle all you short-ear's questions." That kind of sounded like an insult to me, but maybe it's just a cultural thing.
So off I went, to what might as well be my second home at this point. I was wondering the whole way what this physical therapy could consist of, which is what I blame for the big hole I fell face first in. Anyway, after dragging myself out of that and spending another hour lost in the Bamboo Forest, I finally got to Eientei and Doctor Yagokoro brought me into a room and told me to take my shirt off and lay down on my stomach. I complied because I can't imagine what she might have done to me if I'd tried to ask questions. I heard someone else come in, and Doctor Yagokoro spoke to her. I'm not sure what she said, but the girl must have agreed, because I was spoken to next. Doctor Yagokoro told me that I would be receiving physical therapy in the form of massages to fix the damage done after my fall, which was nice. I don't know why there needed to be two people for that, though. Anyway, I think Doctor Yagokoro started, because I felt someone touch my back and start to apply pressure. But strangely, the pressure didn't seem to stop. It felt like it was continuing forever. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, it stopped, and then started again in a different place. I will admit that it did feel pretty nice, if a little...impersonal. I don't think Doctor Yagokoro buys into bedside manner much. Eventually, she told me that she was moving up to my head, and I wondered if I should have told her about the hole I fell in back in the forest. But then, the pressure began again and I couldn't really think straight after that.
I'm not sure how long this all went on, but when it was finished and I could finally get up and turn around, I felt very drained, though I did feel more relaxed. Doctor Yagokoro was standing next to a girl with extremely long black hair, who offered me a vague smile. Behind them, on a table, were a large number of vials filled with red liquid. I asked where those had come from, because I thought the room had been empty when I entered, but Doctor Yagokoro simply replied that I must have been mistaken and they had been there the whole time.
I guess I just missed them.
I got to go home after that, though I did bump into the rabbit girl assistant again, and she looked at me like she'd smelled something funny before walking off quickly.
After that, I got home with only half an hour spent lost in the forest, and then I fell asleep for half a day. Fortunately, I woke up right as Marisa knocked on my door, and when I answered it, she told me that she'd found me a real winner. I hope it's not someone like Miss Junko again. The scars healed nicely but I think Miss Hakurei might try and attack me herself if I cause another problem like that.

>>44177985
Ooh, scary scary

>>44177985
Blood leeched out of him?

>>44177985
>Behind them, on a table, were a large number of vials filled with red liquid. I asked where those had come from, because I thought the room had been empty when I entered, but Doctor Yagokoro simply replied that I must have been mistaken and they had been there the whole time.
Bros, I'm worried about our friend anon

"Hey, I'm glad you choose my services to really kick your romantic life into gear. I might not look like it, but I'm been very successful at this sort of thing so far, so if everything goes well you might be returning to me for some Bloodline Prosperity. Eh? Eh? Oh it's just a joke, don't give me that look. So anyway, I've got a few options"

"I know the tengu are throwing a party and they told me they want a few more men around for it. It'll be a nice casual time to have fun and meet a few girls, I know Tengu parties are really great."

"If that's not for you, I've got this friend of mine that's....new to dating and would like to try it out. She's actually really nice once you got to know her. I'm sure the two of you will get on just fine"

"I've also got someone else that would like to try out a date. I've known her for many years and I can vouch for her. To be honest, I was surprised when she came to asking to try this out, but hey"

"Course, You could always choose the mystery option. Who knows what sort of girl you'll get?"

>>44183602
>tengu are throwing a party
It'll end in abusive rape
>friend of mine that's....new to dating
Alice will end up puppeting him or scaring him off with her disgusting habits.
>I was surprised when she came to asking to try this out
Reimu will abuse him

The safest option is the mystery option

>>44183602
>>44183707
Screw it, I'll pick door number two. What's life without a little gamble here and there?

>>44183707
>It'll end in abusive rape
If anon does die of alcohol poisoning the other thing is highly likely with a tengu party, highly recommended to avoid this
>'..scare him off with her disgusting habits'
Did I miss something here in her background or fan canon? I didn't think Alice had any bad habits only that despite being very friendly to humans, she just doesn't really talk to them even when they're staying in her house and would rather concentrate on her dolls. Probably a bit wierd and unnerving for most humans lost in the forest, but anon might be fine with this and this could actually go somewhere in the end. Maybe anon ends up making Alice to spend more time with him and less with her dolls.
>Reimu will abuse him
I don't think she will but she would probably be a bad match, somewhat lazy with him and end up costing anon a lot when he has to foot the bill for everything he does with her

I really wouldn't trust the mystery option in Gensokyo

>>44183602
Every chance not taken is a missed opportunity. I recommend agreeing to every single one of Marisa's suggestions

>>44183602
Always take the mystery option

>>44183602
Tengu girls are weird.

>>44183707
>>44184385
"So you're wantin' the mystery option Anon? It's the best one of all hehe"
"Just be sittin' a few minutes and I'll be back with something for ya"
"Uh.. okay"
Anon sat back in the chair nervously as a wry smile lit up Marisa's face as she jumped up from her chair to get something from the kitchen, a slight tremble in anon's voice

"It's ready! I made us some tea with some rare mushrooms I don't normally be usin' for our date"
"Our... date..?"
"Hehe, yea, the I told you the mystery option was the best cos' I'm the best ya know!"
Marisa returned with a pot of fresh tea and some cups of her 'special tea' and an almost beaming smile. Anon while stunned by nerves began to warm up taking a few sips of Marisa's delicious 'special tea' and relaxing as they chattered away and anon quickly came alive with her infectious warmth and enthusiasm. To anon the minutes melted away into hours as the light faded outside and he slowly became hazy. Marisa didn't seem that interested in the tea however, rarely shifting her gaze away from anon..

"Told ya the mystery option would be the best, you're much more fun now anon, aren't we havin' a great time?"
"After all the others... I thought there wouldn't be any hope... for me... but tonight has been amazing"
"I really don't feel that... good though... my head is kinda... light?"
"I have that affect on people"
"I know what'll make it better hehe"
"Sit just back and relax..."
"Uhhhh........Mari-"
Anon's head seemed to spin but he seemed to be having such a good time that he didn't suspect anything was wrong. Marisa, with a devilish smile leaned forward, almost suggestively slipping a finger down the top of her blouse as she leaned forward into anon resting a hand on his shoulder. But as she moved forward anon, both confused and excited by his worsening light headedness and Marisa's increasingly suggestive behaviour finally broke as he blacked out and slipped forward onto the floor.

...

Anon woke up the following day, still groggy and slowly coming round he realised he was at least back in the familiar surroundings of the back yard of a house in the Human Village. He couldn't remember anything that had happened the previous day, or even the previous few weeks. Unsure what to do next he rummaged around in his pockets to find everything was gone; his wallet, his money, everything he carried on him. Anon still couldn't understand what was going on as he slumped forward, head in hands.

Bad Ending 3
Try to avoid the mystery option next time, in Gensokyo it isn't always a good idea for humans to take a leap of faith into the darkness of mystery options.

>>44183602
the twist is: option 2 was actually narumi. marisa would never gamble her reputation with alice.

The real 200IQ method of seducing Alice is to be a male Marisa cosplayer

>>44185791
How'd your eyes turn green from yellow?

>>44174952
Reimu is just casting a fertility charm before Marisa goes on a date with me.

Kinda sad, I was hoping >>44145891 was implying anon would eventually die after being horrifically experimented on by Eirin. Guess he still might yet be, though.

>>44185791
Poor Anon, he trusted Marisa and got exactly what he paid for. Even if she gave him a good time its not like he'll remember it.
I wonder what the other routes will hold

>>44187779
Anon can always retry and take a different choice, he still has two players remaining

>>44184349
>they're staying in her house and would rather concentrate on her dolls.
Woah Alice is just like me, but replace dolls with my computer.

>>44185791
kek
Let's for for option 3 then

Marisa said she'd set me up with a real winner yesterday. At least, I think she did. Whole day is sort of a blur. I've been aching all over today and I feel quite weak. Anyway, I got back from today's physical therapy (No Doctor Yagokoro this time, just, strangely, a team of rabbits. At least all the fluffiness was nice.) and then I met Marisa in the village square to see who this mystery girl was.
Where did Marisa even meet a Jizo? I didn't even know there were real Jizo girls around here. I thought that was just the Yama. Marisa said her name was Narumi and she was hoping to meet new people. Apparently she only came to life around that time when all the seasons got mixed up (Snow in Summer was nice) and she had mostly kept to herself in the Forest of Magic, so she hadn't been out much. She had a soft, warm smile and black hair separated into two long braids that came past her waist, and she wore a wide-brimmed hat with a buddhist poem on it, as well as a large grey overcoat that obscured her entire body all the way down to her ankles.. Interestingly, her earlobes were far longer than that of a normal human, so I guess that only confirms that she is, in fact a youkai Jizo. Not that I mind. Sure, most of the youkai girls I've met so far have hospitalized me, but I'm sure this will be the one.
I offered to take her sightseeing. If she hasn't been out of the Forest of Magic much, I imagine she's also never really walked around the village either. There's plenty of places to get to know someone here. I just hope my dear redhead waitress doesn't see me. My heart still pulls in her direction sometimes...
I took her all around the village for a lot of the day. We spoke about her magic and what she does in her spare time, which was nice. I didn't tell her about my last dates, but I did allude to my repeated hospitalization and told her that I'd probably be able to take her to Eientei with my eyes closed. I think I would get lost for a bit, but I didn't tell her that. Anyway, we walked out of the village later, and I decided to take her near the Ruined Mansion by the Misty Lake. During our time in the village, she mentioned that one of the first things she heard after being brought to life was music. coming from the distance, which I think must have been one of the Horismriver Ensemble's performances. They've really been going all out since that Raiko girl joined them.
For as long as I can remember, you could hear the sisters practising if you visited the Ruined Mansion by Misty Lake, but if you ever tried to enter, you might either see nothing at all, or receive the fright of your life. With this in mind, I thought that bringing Miss Narumi to one of those 'haunted houses' that I've heard of in outside world books from Suzunaan would be a good idea. I thought it would be a good way to become more comfortable with each other and maybe be a little of a bonding experience.
So, we entered. Luckily, it seemed that the sisters were in a playful mood, because it wasn't long before we started to hear crashes in the distance, and see things moving by themselves. Everything seemed to be going well.
Now, I didn't think to ask Miss Narumi how she felt about sudden scares. I didn't really think it'd be a major issue. And it probably wouldn't have been, if I hadn't forgot that she is the living incarnation of a statue. A very heavy statue. Things were going well...until we turned a corner and a bolt of lightning slammed into the ground right in front of us. This made Miss Narumi jump back, which meant she knocked into me, and I hit the ground. Then, with a second bolt of lightning, she tripped backwards and fell. On top of me. And that was all she wrote.
Six broken ribs, a punctured lung, a broken arm and some serious internal bruising later, I was discharged from Eientei. Miss Narumi was nearly in tears when I woke up, apologizing profusely. I just told her I was used to this sort of thing. It's probably bad that I am, to be honest. Doctor Yagokoro didn't seem the slightest bit surprised when I was dragged in. Or amused. Or anything, really. I'm not sure she even has emotional responses. She did say that she "Wanted some grey matter. For scientific curiosity." but I'm not entirely sure what that is, so I just nodded and smiled as I scratched a strangely itchy spot on my head.
I ran into Miss Hakurei on the way home. She almost let me pass, then prodded my in the back with her gohei. When I turned, she was staring at my head. I asked her what was the matter, but she told me it was nothing and to just get home, and stop causing her trouble. I apologized profusely because, really, she scares me, and then I left.
I'm starting to wonder if Marisa is doing all of this as a practical joke. Maybe I need to ask her for someone more...delicate. At this point, I'll take any date where I don't end up in Eientei.

>>44189721
EIENTEI DATE CONFIRMED
How will Eirin react to Anon's proposal of a date????

Is Marisa in good enough standing with the Scarlet gang to approach them and set up a date between me and the Mistress herself? After all, Remi could be attracted to the idea of a husband to rule the Mansion alongside her.

>>44189915
If anything she'd try to pawn off the little sister on you so she wouldn't have to worry about the creepy little thing wanting to play when she goes over(stealing)

>>44189915
I don't think even Marisa is crazy enough to send Anon into a den of bloodsuckers and a psychotic human maid
That said, I think Yukari might take an interest in Anon now that Eirin's doing shady experiments on him

>>44189721
>she tripped backwards and fell. On top of me. And that was all she wrote
the ass was fat

>>44189721
Aww... poor both of them.
I think they should try again, this was just poor fortune!

>>44189939
A date with Flandre would be truly a terror even the very worst of anons don't deserve.

>>44191066
Twist her nipples and flick her bean to assert dominance. Flan will appreciate how daring and confident you are.

>>44190117
I think that the only one normal enough from the mansion to go to a date with anon would be Hong.

>>44191836
But I don't like the Chinese :/
I want Remi

>>44191836
pretty much
Sakuya is an airhead, Patchouli probably wouldn't be interested, Remilia thinks way to highly of herself to date, and Flandre is fightsexual

>>44190117
I feel like Marisa would set Anon up on a date with Patchy and a bookshelf would fall on him. This guy is both an idiot and incredibly unlucky.

>>44192250
Perhaps he's just full of misfortune

For fucks sake anon, get to Hina before you die from your misfortune

>>44183769

There are only two explanations for someone having their house filled with dolls. They are either complete virgins or a serial killer. Alice's home isn't too far away from Marsia's but you feel so isolated (nobody would hear your screams) As you sit across the table from your date you really hope its the former. The blond haired woman sips her tea and stares at you as a doll serves up a plate of cookies. She flashes you a smile. You get it, she is either awkward around people and is trying to be nice, or she just figured out what she wants to do with your body. With her not offering much conversation, you figure you have to step up. "So these dolls" you say as you choose the first thing to come into mind "is it difficult to get them to move like that? With the magic, you know"

Alice's smile widens "Not once you get past the hurdle of actually using the magic. Form begets function, after-all, just see the Tsukumogami, and dolls having hands makes using them for all these tasks so much easier. In fact why I got into using dolls is..." she tells you a story about how she grew up. You're sure she's just making shit up. Her a demon? yeah right. Everyone told you she was born a human. But you nod along anyway.

When she finishes you excuse yourself from the table. "Oh, the bathroom? It's down that hall, second door the left" You thank her and go down the hall. This date has been going decent so far, in that you're still alive. You open the door, and this isn't the bathroom. It's a small, simple bedroom. Looks like it was meant for guests but hadn't seen any use in a while. A mirror, a dresser, a bed with a large shape under the covers, everything is normal. Woah, back up. Your heart thumps in your chest. You know checking on it would be a bad idea, but you need to know. If you're going to get murdered, you might as well find out how you'll die beforehand. You creep closer, and closer to the bed, grab the covers as you listen to see if Alice is creeping up on you. When you're sure she's not, you throw off the covers to see------

A doll. One the size of a man. It's clearly unfinished, with the face only having the vague outline of eye and a nose, but everything else seems to be well detailed when you drag your hand over the body. Maybe a too well detailed. You glance at it's neatly pressed trousers. You decide not to investigate much further, but you can guess on what you would find if you did.

You quickly sneak out of the room and finish your intended business and head back to the table, forcing a smile on your face. She doesn't seem suspicious, that's good. You have a bit of small talk and drink tea. After some time, a doll brings over a few charts. Alice breathes in "Hey Anon, I've got these charts for picking out the right colors for a doll's eyes and hair, and I thought you might want to find out where yours fall. They're, ah, a nice color you know" Your mind flashes back to that unfinished doll, with no hair or eyes. Oh no. But you have to agree or she'll get suspicious. You let the lonely magician examine you as she jots down some notes, moving your face this way and that. Thankfully she stops there. "Thank you for that, I really did enjoy our date. I'd like to see you again sometime" She gives you a smile. Was that a genuine statement or a threat? You can't tell with this girl


Bad(?) Ending 2
Alice isn't a wicked girl, but that doesn't mean it's always comfortable being around her.

>>44193276
I love it when Alice tries not to be creepy and fails

>>44193276
Anon should check if he still has all his hair, or he might end up receiving a taste of the voodoo.

>>44193276
Maybe Alice was just lonely shut-in this whole time and wanted to make her doll husbandfu real in the absence of anyone else. Anon should see her again, perhaps having more human company will gradually make her less strange around people.

>>44193276
Arisu did nothing wrong here!
It's not her fault she has a weird hobby!
Really, anon should try and be more understanding of the puppetmaster, she has been nothing but a perfect lady the whole time!
Maybe a few more dates will calm his nerves enough to think about settling down with her!
Maybe... at some point... they might even get married and have gra- Kids of their own??

>>44194342
>It's not her fault she has a weird hobby!
Yeah, it's all her mom's fault. She has ruined poor Alice's forever.

>>44193276
I don't know whats scarier: Anon getting a perfect copy made of him as a doll or his soul getting transferred into it.

Would being impregnated reduce Alice's crippling autism or intensify it?

>>44189159
but then it wouldn't be an 1cc.
who do you think I am?

>>44189721
what are some broken bones and internal bleeding, compared spending a sweet time with narumi? it was not her fault anon, give her a second chance! if you guys take it slow, you guys can make it work nicely!

>>44196605
It would intensify it drastically.

Miss Hakurei came to my house today. I almost pretended I wasn't home, but then I remembered that she probably had the authority to just kick down my door if she wanted. When I answered, she let herself inside and started asking me questions. Where I was going. Where I'd been going. Why I was in Eientei so much. I answered as best I could. The physical therapy sessions in Eientei have been going well. Most of the soreness I had is gone and the only real downside is that I feel a little dizzy afterwards, but it usually passes after I sleep. Doctor Yagokoro shows up sometimes with that black-haired girl, but I think the sessions are unremarkable outside of that. Miss Hakurei didn't speak for a moment after I told her about the therapy sessions, and when she did, it was slowly. She asked if I'd had any memory problems lately and I said that it was probably just because the physical therapy sessions aren't the most interesting thing in the world that I can't remember what happens in most of them. I mean, who remembers every bath they've ever had? She left not long after that, but reminded me on the way out to take better care of myself. "It'd be best if you stay out of Eientei as much as possible." She said as she left.
After that, I went over to see Marisa. Despite the...heavy ending, I thought Miss Narumi was nice and I'd like to see her again. Before I could get there, though, I came across a strange sight. There was a blue-haired girl sitting at a stream that I have to cross to reach the Forest of Magic, and she had some sort of makeshift fishing rod going into the water. I just looked at first, because I didn't think there was any chance she'd catch anything like that, but then, without even a hint of a bite, she pulled the line from the water, bringing up a fish that had to be nearly as long as my head. At that, I couldn't resist speaking, so I asked her how she's possibly pulled that off. She turned to look at me, seemingly confused, before she said "It's obvious, isn't it? They can't resist my divine luck." At first, I thought I'd just met another weird person, which there's already plenty of in the village (Like that white-haired girl who'd wandered through the village in tattered clothes, burst out laughing and then promptly fainted in the middle of the street.) but then she turned and grabbed a hat that had been sitting behind her and put it on her head, and I was surprised to see that there were peaches on it. This was her! The girl who'd saved me from certain death after Miss Iku had thrown me from the clouds. I asked her if she remembered me, and she told me that while she typically didn't remember most normal humans, it was hard to forget one who'd crashed into her in mid-air. I asked her name and she introduced herself as Miss Tenshi Hinanawi, Celestial from Heaven. It sounded impressive, but once I asked her what a Celestial was doing on Earth, she amended it to Former Celestial.
Afterwards, we started talking. She told me about how much better everything was in Heaven, while also sounding like she'd prefer to be anywhere except Heaven. I told her I understood how she felt because sometimes I wish I wasn't in Eientei so much because I've started to have weirdly realistic dreams about waking up in the middle of the night except I'm there instead of in my house. I then remembered why I had wanted to meet her in the first place and thanked her for throwing me in that direction when we had first met. She looked very proud at that and told me that it would have been a black mark on her pride if she'd let me die. I get the impression that she doesn't get compliments like these very often. I told her the reason I'd been free-falling, and she laughed. "That Iku's a real stick in the mud. If you try and go against her, she'll do something like this.." She said. I just awkwardly laughed and scratched my head. Eventually, I asked why she was catching fish in the river in the first place. She said that since she had been unjustly exiled from Heaven, she might as well enjoy what little delights there were on Earth, but the way she spoke about the food made me think that she liked it more than she was letting on.
Finally, I had to leave, so I asked her if she'd like to talk again. She got a little haughty at that and told me that she'd only consider it if she really had little better to do, but again, I felt like she had been waiting for me to ask that for the whole conversation. I told her where I lived, and then said that if I wasn't there, it might be because I was laid up in Eientei again. That made her laugh, and I was surprised to hear how musical her voice was.
After that, I finally got to Marisa's house, only to find out she wasn't there. Typical, that. I hear she often goes to the Hakurei Shrine, but I don't really want Miss Hakurei to yell at me or anything, so I'll just leave it for now. Still, at least I got to meet Miss Tenshi, finally. Maybe, eventually, I'll be able to take her on a date too.

>>44200084
Tenshi route unlocked?

>>44200084
>weirdly realistic dreams about waking up in the middle of the night except I'm there instead of in my house
Man, Eirin really likes our unlucky bachelor, does she?

>>44200708
she likes his fleshy bits

>>44200084
Tenshi a cute! CUTE!!!

>>44200084
This remains me,is Tenshi's exile from Heaven a permanent thing or just them attempting to teach her a lesson?

>>44203436
She'll probably be allowed back in once she improves as a person a little.
So basically never.

>>44203578
Heaven is probably shit in the 2hu world anyways. I'd rather fuck around in the normal world than jack off 24/7 in some grassy field.

>>44203436
a little bit for an immortal celestial may very well be in the thousands of years

>>44203605
heaven's basically, well, heaven, for those who get there the normal way (achieve nirvana and cast off all their desires) because they just sing songs, dance and eat food all day
but then you've got tenshi's family who were given a shortcut and ascended to heaven without casting off their desires
tenshi would probably have been like, 16 or something when this happened, so now she's in a place where people do all of three things for eternity and she still has all those desires and things she hadn't yet done on earch
it's not all that hard to understand why she caused the incident in SWR and why she doesn't actually seem to mind being exiled from heaven all that much

>>44200708
I think Eirin believes that the Hypocratic Oath doesn't apply if you're on a different celestial body to the one you swore it on

>>44200320
I hope, she's the best person anon has meet so far

Inb4 Tenshi is nice towards someone for once in her life and she gets forcefully dragged back into heaven as a result, leaving a screaming anon behind permanently.

>>44207413
She is probably older than Hippocrates anyway, so she won't have ever sworn it in the first place.

>>44193276
I DEMAND a new date with Arisu Margatoroido
That sweet girl deserves love

>>44208421
only you believe that, Alice

>>44208199
It could lead to anon doing all he can to become a Celestial so that he can reunite with Tenshi in heaven

>>44208421
This guy gets it, give Alice a second date, the first ended on a cliffhanger

>>44208753
The irony is that in the process of casting off all your desires he'd realize that wanting tenshi is irrelevant as shed become another desire and prevent him from reaching heaven

>>44210993
The desire for Tenshi is not easily shed. For many a Celestial, they carried it even unto Heaven.

>>44207413
I don't think she can actually say it without laughing...

Marisa finally showed up at my door today. She looked a bit beaten up; her hat was singed and it she smelled vaguely of smoke. I didn't tell her that I'd met Miss Tenshi yesterday. Not for any particular reason, but I felt like keeping this one to myself for now. Anyway, Marisa told me that she had a girl for me to meet. She then muttered something under her breath about killing two birds with one stone. I hope she didn't mean that literally. I like birds.
After I'd gotten ready, (which went fine apart from the strong dizzy spell I felt when I'd stood up. Maybe the physical therapy session with Doctor Yagokoro was a little more strenuous today) Marisa told me that the girl I was meeting was definitely the delicate sort. I asked her if that meant she couldn't punt me through a wall if she felt like it, and she got a little evasive at that. Hopefully that doesn't spell out disaster and a trip back to Eientei for me. We left, and Marisa offered to fly me to our destination, but I asked if we could walk instead. I typically find that my post-physical therapy light-headedness fades slightly when I get some fresh air, and rushing past it all at speed would probably have me pass out halfway there. On the way, I mentioned that I'd tried to come to Marisa's house the other day, but she wasn't home. She told me she had been at the Shrine that day because Miss Hakurei had wanted her input on an ongoing investigation. When I asked her what the investigation was about, she just told me that she couldn't reveal anything at the moment because "Reimu would have my head as well as yours.". I just nodded, wondering whether that was why she was staring at my head the other day. I then noticed that we had rounded the Misty Lake and were now on the approach to the Scarlet Devil's Mansion. I felt sweat drops begin to beat on the back of my neck. Lots of bad stories surrounding this place, from strange weather to scary noises coming from hidden passageways that spiral down to the depths of the mansion. I only hope that I'm not going to be their next victim.
At the front gate, there was a sleeping girl with long red hair and a cap with the character for 'dragon' on it., leaning against the faded red brick with her arms crossed. I almost spoke, but Marisa clamped a hand over my mouth before I could. Then, she whispered into my ear. "She's not actually asleep. You can't tell, but her awareness is spread out in every direction. Get too close and she'll be on you before you can blink." I could only nod at that, and Marisa then silently lifted herself into the air before directing me to grab onto her broom. With no noise, we rose into the air, over the gate, and dropped back down into the Scarlet Devil Mansion's gardens.
From there, Marisa took me through the front door and into the impressively large foyer of the mansion. It was at this point, watching Marisa tiptoe forward and clearly with every sense straining for footsteps, that I began to wonder if she had some less-than-savoury intensions here. Before I could ask, she ushered me forward, and I followed her down a twisting path of hallways that seemed to go on far longer than the building I had seen from outside allowed. Finally, we reached an impressive-looking ornate door, and Marisa stopped me. "The girl I've got for you is straight ahead. You just go and talk to her for a while. Er, at least an hour. Possibly two." She opened the door and slipped inside before I could ask what she meant, so I simply followed with a bemused look on my face.
Inside was easily the most impressive library I've ever seen. Bookshelves stretched out so far into the distance that they receded into the gloom. I wondered where Marisa was, because I hadn't seen her once I was inside. Confused, I followed the bookcases through, noting that they seemed to converge on a central point somewhere ahead. After some walking, I found myself in the middle, where a large table shaped like a crescent moon sat. There was a girl there, dressed in robes (They may have just been pyjamas) with a big floppy cap on her head adorned with another crescent moon. I hesitantly called out, which prompted her to whirl around with surprise in her face and, most concerningly, a fireball on her fingertips. I raised my hands to show that I was unarmed, and asked her for her name.

She introduced herself as Lady Patchouli Knowledge, and I asked if she was the one who assembled this impressive library. She slowly nodded, and I noted with relief that the fireball had faded away. I remarked on how impressive it was, and I could tell she was pleased to hear it. I asked her if she was a witch, and she told me that she was, and had lived here for much of the past hundred years. I asked her if she would tell me more, and after considering for a moment, Lady Patchouli called out loud for tea, at which point two steaming cups appeared on the table as if by magic. I could tell she was pleased when I appeared suitably surprised, After taking a sip (it was rather excellent tea), Lady Patchouli began talking. She told me about how her magic worked, as well as how she amassed her collection of books and grimoires. A lot of it went over my head, and I truthfully did start feeling a little bored toward the end, but I persevered because she had a certain ethereal beauty about her despite the robes all but swallowing up any details about her body. Her eyes were dark, but gleamed with a sharp intelligence.
I don't know how long I was sat there, but it felt like at least an hour. After zoning out for a bit, I snapped back to reality when I heard Lady Patchouli ask how I'd ended up in her library in the first place. I told her that Marisa had arranged it, and she froze. I froze too, because at this point, I feel like I'm developing a sixth sense for knowing when I'm in danger of hospitalization. She slowly asked if I meant Marisa Kirisame, and asked what exactly she had arranged. When I told her that I thought I was here to meet a prospective girl, she all but laughed out loud, which shortly after devolved into a coughing fit. I thought about patting her on the back, but decided that I probably wasn't that familiar with her yet. Eventually, she recovered enough to tell me that Marisa was using me as a distraction, so she could steal from the library without getting caught. I wondered if Marisa would really do that, but then remembered what little of her house I had seen. Both the outside and what I could see through the windows was a mess, and I could definitely believe that a stolen book or ten were hidden away in there.
Anyway, Lady Patchouli told me that she'd leave me, but would have to deal with Marisa. Then, she took to the air and disappeared into the distance, at which point I started to hear loud explosions and the sound of those massive laser beams that Marisa fires. This went on for a while and I wondered if I should go and investigate, but before I could, Lady Patchouli floated back down, dragging a smoking Marisa, who was now a little more than slightly singed with her other arm. She dumped her on the table and told me to "Take her to Eientei before the only thing she's good for is a nice barbeque."
So, that's how my meeting with Patchouli Knowledge ended. She seemed nice enough, I suppose. A bit withdrawn, maybe a little dangerous. I reached Eientei a couple hours later, and Doctor Yagokoro greeted me at the door. She seemed visibly disappointed when she realised that I was uninjured. I think that's the first time I've seen her display an emotion at all. I dropped Marisa off after getting a reassurance that it was "Far from the first time Miss Kirisame has been attacked in this way." As I was leaving, Doctor Yagokoro stopped me. She stared at me with those cold grey eyes of hers, and just when I thought I was about to break, she spoke. "It would be best if you came in for a check-up soon. I want to see if any of that divine luck has rubbed off on you." I was about to ask if she somehow knew that I'd met Miss Tenshi, but she slid the door to the clinic shut before I could. I guess she was talking about the first time I met her, in midair. Why would she know about the second time? It's not like she knows where I am.
I guess Marisa is out of commission for a while. Maybe I'll ask Miss Junko about those girls she mentioned. I wonder if any of them have blue hair? Or red. I like red. I'll even take a blonde if they don't try and kill me.

>>44211505
>>44211512
Big win for Anon
didn't end up hospitalized

>>44211512
He's getting better. Maybe he could try for another date with her?

>>44211512
>Anon has a good date without getting hospitalised
>but it wasn't really a date just a distraction while Marisa steals books
If only she wasn't so stuck in her books, Patchouli was one of the best dates

>>44211512
>I wonder if any of them have blue hair? Or red. I like red. I'll even take a blonde if they don't try and kill me.
Oh no...

>>44211505
>>44211512
Progress anon, first Alice, then Tenshi now Patchy. It would seem like Magicians and Celestials are the way to go for him, so he should probably give Byakuren a try

>>44215721
Tenshy and Patchi seem like good fits, that jizzo too

>>44193334
Imagine getting your dick telepathically sucked while walking down the street.

>>44214738
I'm sure Anon has a FANTASTIC fashion sense...

Marisa's still in Eientei. I think Miss Hakurei jumped to the wrong conclusions, because when an extra issue of the Bunbunmaru News came raining down from the sky, there were plenty of pictures of explosions and Miss Hakurei laying seige against an army of rabbits. I probably should have told her the truth myself, but then she might have attacked me too.
All this to say, Marisa's not around to try and set up dates for me. Normally, I'd just wait it out, but even my physical therapy sessions are cancelled due to the damage the Shrine Maiden did to Eientei, so now I have even less to occupy my time. I don't know where Miss Tenshi lives, nor Miss Narumi and I don't think I'd survive making it through the Vampire's mansion to see Miss Patchouli without Marisa helping me, so I've been at something of a loss. Then, while I was wondering why I felt like I had much more energy than usual, I remembered Miss Junko. I didn't know where she lived either, but I did know that she could sometimes be found near the border of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, because Marisa had said that she "Wants to get to Eientei, but doesn't know the route. Some sorta unhealthy fixation on Reisen, that moon rabbit who lives over there." After our 'date' and my subsequent recovery and discharge from Eientei, she had mentioned that she might know someone I could meet.
I got lucky when I headed over to the usual path out of the village that I take to reach Eientei, and Miss Junko was already gazing off into the forest. I called her name and she turned slowly. Fortunately, she didn't seem angry in any way, because I wasn't really sure what I would do if she burned me again. I asked her how she was doing and the told me that she lived each day longing for only one thing. I smiled and nodded, because it seemed like a rather heavy conversation topic. I asked her if she had been serious when she had told me that she knew someone that I might like to meet, and she nodded sagely. "My dear friend." She replied. I asked her if now would be a good time, and she said that it likely would be, because a third of her attention was usually called away by an ongoing revitilization project. When I asked what it was about, she simply replied "Hell." I guess it must not be going that well. At least it would be a good conversation topic.
Miss Junko took my arm and led me away from the forest and out into the rolling hills away from the village. I would have been a little nervous of youkai out here, but after being hospitalised by a few, including the one I was currently standing with, I didn't feel quite so afraid. After a while, I asked where we were going, and Miss Junko replied that part of her friend loved to spend time out in the sun and watch the fairies play, so we were going to the Garden of the Sun. I was wary at this, because even as a child I'd heard horror stories about the terrifying youkai who frequented those sunflower fields.
Once we arrived, I quickly spotted someone who must have been Miss Junko's friend. She was the only person I could see who wasn't a fairy, and she didn't have the green hues of that terrifying youkai only spoken of in whispers after a few drinks. Miss Junko called out to her, and she turned, her blue hair swaying gently in the breeze. She was tall, much taller than most youkai and humans that I had seen around the village, and she had a striking, sharp face that gave me the impression that she was not to be trifled with.
It became significantly harder to not trifle with her once my eyes travelled down to her attire. Atop her head was a strange sort of hat with a big, sperical object wedged inside it. The sphere looked to have the colors of the natural word upon it. Oceans of blue, land of green, and smatterings of white cloud swirled about on the strange sphere as I watched it. It was connected to a chain, which I noticed wound down to a choker adorning her neck, with another two chains snaking off to two other spheres that hovered about her person like the third eye of a satori. One had the shape and colors of the moon high in the sky, and the other was similar to the first, but with the whole thing covered by a red haze. She wore a sort of shirt, somewhat like the kind that Doctor Yagokoro's rabbit assistant wears, but with no buttons and no material to cover the shoulders. I wondered how it was being held up, though my eyes did happen to wander across the curvature of the clothing that suggested a rather large bust. The black shirt had very short sleeves, one of which had a blue splatter across it. I thought it might be water, but that would just soak into the dark material. There was another, larger splatter across the front, and the words 'Welcome Hell' were written in that foreign language that Miss Kosuzu at Suzunaan had mentioned a few times. It was...a really strange looking thing. I'm not sure it would catch on in the village.

The woman also wore a tri-colored skirt, which had black frills just poking out of the bottom. She wore no shoes, but after a second glance, I noticed that she wasn't actually touching the ground, but floating just barely above it.
After a moment to take all of the strange fashion choices in, I realised that she was talking. "Yep, yep! So this is that boy you were talking about, huh?" She had a strange way of speaking, all informal and loose. I stepped up and introduced myself. She looked me over as if she was inspecting me for something. "You sure found some good material, Junko." She commented to Miss Junko, who nodded somewhat stiffly. She turned to me.
"You are in the presence of Hecatia Lapislazuli, the goddess of Hell." She said, as if it was no big deal.
I think Miss Hecatia could tell that I was a little surprised. "Aw, Junko, you're scaring the poor thing. Here, leave him with me. I'll take care of him." I almost wanted Miss Junko to disagree, even though she clearly wasn't planning to.
So that's how I ended up with the goddess of Hell. I really wasn't sure what to say to her after that revelation. It seemed like normal conversation topic weren't really going to cut it here. Instead, I asked her how the revitalization plan that Miss Junko had mentioned was going. She thought for a moment, then told me that it was "More of the red me's thing. I see enough fairies right here." When I asked her what she meant, she told me that she could just show me. Before I could say anything, she grabbed my arm and I felt an extreme sense of vertigo, as if I was suddenly thrown upside down and back again. I fell to my knees, and was surprised to find that it felt significantly warmer than it had a few moments ago. I looked up, and found myself frozen to the spot.
Miss Hecatia stood next to me. I think it was the strange, dim lighting, but her hair looked a lot more red now. She looked down at me. "Hey, hey! I hadn't seen you with my own eyes yet. Well, I had, but I hadn't, y'know?" I vaguely nodded, my eyes fixed ahead of me. The place I was standing in was a craggy outcrop on some sort of mountain, and stretching out as far as my eyes could see ahead of me was emptiness. An endless nothingness, but even from here I could see what were unmistakeably skulls strewn across the expanse. I'd paid enough attention in Miss Kamishirasawa's classes to know that I was looking at the infinite expanse of Avici. "So, you wanna know what I've got cooking down here, huh? Cool, cool! C'mon, up you get." She hauled me to my feet, and I stumbled backwards. "Y'see, I got to thinking about new ways to improve Hell's suffering, right? 'Cause, like, there's a lot of ways to suffer here, but they're a little basic, y'know? Like, we've got needles, and heat, and stuff like that, but I wanted something cooler! So I'm working on coming up with new ways for people to suffer down here! Pretty cool, huh?" She looked all excited, and I stumbled backwards again. This turned out to be a mistake when something significantly hotter hit my back. I jumped forward and turned to see a flame on the cliffside that I'd missed in my shock at being, and I couldn't believe I was saying this, sent to Hell. Cursing all the while, I ripped off my upper wear, leaving me shirtless. Miss Hecatia wasted no time in laughing at my suffering. She called me 'pretty funny for a human'. I swallowed heavily and thanked her for showing me, but asked if I could leave now, please. "Yeah, it tends to be too much for normal humans. Except that Reimu, she did a great job when she got sent here. You want some new clothes?" Before I could even respond, Miss Hecatia stepped forward and grasped my arm. Just as the vertigo hit again, I noticed more clearly that her hair had indeed been red, not blue.
After I fell to my knees and waited for the swimming in my head to pass, I realised that I was somewhere cooler. I looked up, slowly and hoping that I was not still in the afterlife, and found to my relief that I was in a house. "There y'are. Much comfier here, huh?" Miss Hecatia asked me. I looked up at her, and blinked in confusion. She was blonde now, her yellow hair cascading down her bare shoulders and curling around the edge of her shirt.

"So, what did you think? It's the red me's project, so I don't get too involved. I've got enough to worry about here with those Lunarians." I struggled to respond. Truthfully, I think I was started to feel a little faint. I hadn't really expect that when I asked Miss Junko this morning, I'd end up in the afterlife. After taking a moment to catch my breath, I told this blonde version of Miss Hecatia that I with all respect due, I hoped that I would never have to see the end result myself. She laughed, which I supposed was good news. I didn't really want the goddess of Hell after me. I stumbled over to a window, wondering where I was now. It turned out to not be much better than before.
I was on the moon. I could see Earth out of the window, hanging in the sky. It shocked me into silence. After an amount of time that I wasn't sure about, I finally tore myself away, turning to see Miss Hecatia gazing at my back thoughtfully. "Those scars...they're Junko's, aren't they?" I nodded slowly. "Lemme get you some clothes, huh? You can tell me how you got them too."
I followed Miss Hecatia through the twisting corridors of the house. while confusing, I was pleased to see that they didn't seem to exceed what seemed possible from the outside like the Vampire's mansion had. On the way, Miss Hecatia told me that mentioning Chang'e or much of Lunarian society in general tended to set her off. She didn't tell me why, but I got the sense that it was probably not my business anyway. Finally, she brought me to a dressing room, where she began to measure my upper body. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that she'd make me some clothes, as an apology for burning my last ones and a protracted apology for Miss Junko burning the ones before that. I agreed, mostly because I had no choice, but I could already tell that I was going to get some freaky clothes like the ones she wore. I opted not to ask, and instead asked Miss Hecatia about herself. I had been wondering for a while, because she didn't seem much like anyone else I'd met in or around the village.
While Miss Hecatia sewed together strange looking designs, She told me that she was from somewhere far away, yet also rather close to the Hell I'd just seen. "The holder of the keys of Tartaros, that's me. Y'could call me guardian of journeys, including those to the afterlife. I once guided Persephone back from the underworld with my torches. I fought with the Olympians to slay the giant Clytius, and-"
I had absolutely no idea what any of this meant. I kind of wanted to just go home now.
Finally, Miss Hecatia finished. "-And now all I get are indolent Shrine Maidens insulting my clothes. Here, try this t-shirt on." She said, handing me the black shirt. I swallowed nervously, then awkwardly slid it over my head. Having never worn any clothes like this, it took some time. Eventually, I got the thing on, and found that it was just as I feared. A great 'Welcome Hell displayed across the front, with some sort of yellow splatters. Thankfully, it wasn't shoulderless like Miss Hecatia's. I forced down any emotions I might have and smiled, thanking her for the gift and promising I'd pay her back somehow. She beamed and told me that wearing it was payment enough. She then handed me two more, one for each of the Miss Hecatia's that I had met today. A blue one and a red one. I took them and wondered if I'd have to wear them now just in case I came across Miss Hecatia in the village.
Finally, I asked her how I could get home from here. It wasn't as if I could fly from the moon back home, after all.
"Oh, sure. Hang on, blue me's going to head a little closer to the village for you." I said thank you, but I wasn't really sure if I was thanking the right Miss Hecatia. This was all very confusing. After a moment, she smiled. "Yep, all good. Hopefully we'll see you again sometime. Maybe for a real date, even. Unless you want to try on more clothes? I've got plenty of ideas." I somehow managed to keep my horror off of my face long enough for Miss Hecatia to take hold of my arm.
I guess this last time was too much for me, because when I slammed into the blessedly familiar ground of the village, my balance was all but gone. Miss Hecatia was kind enough to haul me to my feet and drag me in the direction of my home, at least. She left me at my doorstep, giving me a kiss on the cheek, which was nice.
I'm not really sure what all of that was. It was very confusing and I'm not sure I totally understand how and why there were three Miss Hecatia's in the first place. Why were they all in different places? Why did they dress like that?
I noticed I was starting to get funny looks from my neighbours, and I could see Miss Sanae from the Moriya Shrine staring at me with her mouth open, so I ducked inside quickly to take this t-shirt thing off.
How come I never meet any normal girls?

>>44220494
>>44220503
>>44220511
What a fine women.
He'd better store those shirts in a damn safe place.

>>44220494
>>44220503
>>44220511
Luv me heca

>>44220494
>>44220503
>>44220511
Anon's cluelessness and general incompetence are endearing.

>>44220511
Perhaps he should try someone closer to home, Miss Akyuu did say that fraternizing with youkai was no good. What about that nice red-headed girl or the strangely quiet green haired lady who comes by sometimes?

Anon should try another date with Alice, or find a way of luring Patchouli away from the mansion - unless he wants to visit again and try to avoid being attacked or eaten en route to the library

>>44221459
>or find a way of luring Patchouli away from the mansion
How? By putting a book under a box with a stick holding it up?

>>44222238
If something interests her enough in the pursuit of knowledge, she'll get personally involved and travel to the location. Patchy is prone to bad luck on top of her bad health, so it may take her a while to get where she's going, but give a big enough incentive and she'll never quit until she gets what she's after. And if that doesn't work, she can ask her best and personal friend, who happens to be a very well off, very powerful vampire who has a personal blade maid that can and WILL find whatever she gets sent after if the Mistress requests it so. Anon better hope he doesn't find some rare book lying around somewhere and it gets back to the nice librarian that he found a goody to add to the collection.

>>44211505
>I hope she didn't mean that literally. I like birds.
Your simplemindedness is a gift anon, never change.

>>44222639
Anon stealing Marisa's books to give or equally likely give them back to Patchouli while the former is out of action for a while. This seems like a daring high risk, high reward strategy to get a second date with Patchouli.

What would you do if you got custom shirts from Hecatia, anons?

>>44223751
No matter how ugly it is, I'll wear it just to make her happy. If I'm lucky and manage to get on her good side, maybe she'll let me fuck Clownpiece.

>>44220511
>How come I never meet any normal girls?
Anon finally meets a girl willing to put up with him and his idiosyncrasies, and he's still whining.
No wonder everything keeps going so poorly for him. He brings it all onto himself.

>>44223789
but she literally sent him to hell

>>44223960
His fault for freaking the fuck out about it. Its not like he was getting sent there permanently or anything.

>>44223960
anon's life has already been hell
his date with hecatia was nice, however only the beloved celestial Tenshi can truly save him

>>44223960
Anon gets to visit cool exotic locales on his date with a really fun and easygoing big shot and doesn't even appreciate it.

>>44220511
>Miss Sanae from the Moriya Shrine staring at me with her mouth open
Clearly she appreciated the Outside World design and would love nothing more than to wear our bachelor's new shirt herself. After a long and eventful night, if you take my meaning.

>>44220511
>and I could see Miss Sanae from the Moriya Shrine staring at me with her mouth open
what did she mean by this

>>44226234
she has a reputation

>>44226391
That's so rude

>>44226391
sanae will pay for this

>>44146513
The options with Gensokyo range between "filthy fellow h*mans that would backstab you get killed by youkai, and if you get killed by youkai too then it's more interesting than dying from a filthy h*man" and "getting a 2hu wife"
And I sure don't give a fuck about non-2hu h*mans that are never better than any youkai

>>44223990
I want to see a Tenko redemption story.
Maybe all she needed to debrattify her is a loving boyfriend/husband

Miss Hakurei is watching me. I'm not sure why, but I've spotted her three times in as many days. Never overt, but it does stretch incredulity to imagine she always just happens to be in the same place as me. Eientei is still out of commission, because whatever happened while Marisa was there caused some damage to the building and as such, Doctor Yagokoro isn't accepting patients - with one caveat. I'm free to go back there now, but I'm a little worried about a roof falling on my head while I'm there, so I decided to wait. That, and I'm concerned that I'll go there, Miss Hakurei will follow me, then start another firefight with me in the crossfire.
Marisa has been by a few times. She said she hasn't found anyone that she thinks is a match, but she's not given up. That's nice, at least. I thought about asking her why I was being followed, but I don't think she'd know.
Not everything has been idle. Yesterday, I found Miss Tenshi walking down the street in front of my home. I called out to her and she jumped. I wasn't sure if she was looking for me or just passing through, but once she realised it was me, she calmed down and came over to talk to me. I asked her how she was, and she told me she was 'Heavenly'. I didn't think it was that funny, but I laughed anyway, which seemed to please her. I asked her if she wanted to walk around, because I really didn't have much else to do, She agreed, saying that she might as well "See what little worth there is in the village", but I could already tell that she was excited by the idea. If she tried to do this on her own, it wouldn't take all that long for her to upset some shopkeeper and get thrown out.
I decided to take her along the canal that runs through the village. It's lined by trees and a nice place for a walk, As we were walking, I asked Miss Tenshi how she was doing on the surface instead of in Heaven. She paused before telling me how much better it was in Heaven and that she couldn't wait to go back. So, she was the same as she was the last time. I then asked her why she had been catching so many fish when we had first met, and she said "There's a hermit who lives up in the mountains. I was doing her a favour by gathering her some actual food instead of that mist she's supposed to eat." I didn't know there were others living on the mountain. I wonder if Marisa knows her? I'd like to meet a hermit. Maybe she can tell Miss Hakurei to stop following me. In fact, I'd already spotted the Shrine Maiden once since we'd begun walking, leaning against a wall. I turned at the next break in the houses, sending Miss Tenshi and I through an alley and back to the main streets. Here, there were plenty of shops and I decided to buy Miss Tenshi some sake. I'm not really sure why. If I had to guess, it was because she's one of the few girls I've met who hasn't injured me recently. Even Miss Hecatia, nice as she was, did burn up half of my clothing. I've carefully folded the clothes she made and placed them in my wardrobe. It's not every day that a girl makes you clothes, after all. Miss Tenshi accepted my gift with an offhand complaint about it's lack of quality, but at this point I'd heard enough of her backhanded compliments and poorly-concealed happiness to tell that she liked it.
As we walked, I asked her what she had been up to, and she got quiet. I stopped at a seating area near the middle of the village and took a seat. After a few moments of silence, Miss Tenshi told me that she had been "I was with a poverty god. My luck cancelled out her misfortune, so we worked well together. But...well, she's gone now. Took off with her sister. The last I heard, she's giving tour guides in Former Hell's hot springs." I replied that I didn't know there was a Former Hell, but I'd been to the current Hell and I hadn't seen any hot springs there. Miss Tenshi gave me a funny look at that, but she did seem down, so I awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. I think it worked, because she did seem to cheer up a little.
Then, I spotted Miss Hakurei flitting between a gap in two houses, and I abruptly lurched to my feet. I offered my hand to Miss Tenshi and told her that it was probably getting late and we should head back now. She slowly took my hand - and I found her hands were very soft - and got to her feet. I led her back through the streets, resisting the urge to check over my shoulder and see if Miss Hakurei was following me. By the time I reached my house, my nerves felt like they were a taut wire a hair's breadth from snapping. I realised that I was still holding Miss Tenshi's hand, and abruptly let go as if I'd made a breach of etiquette.
Just as I was about to bid her goodnight, Miss Tenshi spoke. "It's rare for any of you surface-dwellers to appreciate someone of my stature. It's...nice. Thank you for being with me today" I didn't really know what to say to that, but I didn't have to say anything because she had already turned to leave.
That night, I found a peach in my pocket.

>>44228412
Looks like he's finally found someone to his liking.
But!!!, how with the other girls react? Only time will tell...

>>44228199
>>44228412
I am seeing a tenko redemption story.
All she needed was someone to treat her normally for once, and Anon is retarded enough to do that without thinking.

>>44228621
Anon isn't retarded. His mind simply cannot keep up with the likes of Gensokyo, that's all.

>>44228412
>That night, I found a peach in my pocket.
Eat it before some lunarian bitch or Reimu steals it!

>>44228412
I wonder why reimu is stalking anon, she must be jealous. Tenko should mark her man before he gets kidnapped and forced to be a priest!

>>44228412
My guy, you're a very astute fellow, but you jump to some conclusions that are awfully harmful to you. Some of the other folks here have good advice, you might want to take a peek at them. But good call on staying away from Eientei; you might want to keep doing that, there's a lot more I'd worry about than a roof falling on my head.
Incidentally, do you happen to know how much business Marisa's romantic fulfillment services get? To me it seems like you're the only regular customer, which concerns me.

>>44228695
I like this idea. But Anon, keep some of the seeds for planting. You never know when you might need more.

>>44228703
He is a walking hazard, its only a question of time until his love quest end up in a incident one way or another.

Gold thread

>>44229074
>anon accidentally seduces some of the biggest players in gensokyo and causes a catfight on par with an incident

>>44228412
Anon should visit Former Hell soon, it should be an interesting experience going underground

>>44228412
Tenshi route confirmed

>>44228703
I think she's protecting him actually
she keeps asking him what he's doing at eientei and when marisa got sent there she went full incident mode and attacked them
eirin probably has reisen on anon-wrangling duty because she wants more juicy celestial-proximity blood and reimu might be running interference

>>44223960
he asked about hell. he better think twice before asking a youkai about something outrageous

>>44231998
What if she thinks anon is actually behind the incidents or in some way connected after being around so many recently?

>>44235833
if she thought that anon would be already exterminated
reimu's hunch is unbeatable

>>44237202
Either that or she's not allowed to hurt him on account that he's a human villager.

Guys, do not use Marisa's dating services. Seriously, avoid it at all costs.
I thought I'd give it a shot, y'know? Figured that things couldn't go as bad for me as it does for the village idiot, and that I might end up meeting someone nice.
Oh, how naïve I was at the time.

When I met Marisa, she said that she could get me a date with a cute foreigner, someone who hasn't had much luck finding a partner at home, so she came to Gensokyo in hopes of meeting someone.
Obviously, the chance at meeting some exotic beauty sounded pretty appealing, so I agreed to meet her. I tried to run some prospective date spots by Marisa, but she told me that I didn't need to worry about that, since the girl in question already has something laid out; that's she quite the assertive sort and likes to take charge of things.
I'm used to doing all the work for dates, so that actually sounded like a nice change of pace. The girl sounded quite serious about things, too, so maybe this would really go somewhere.
When I met with miss Yachie, she took me to a really nice restaurant. It was way fancier than what I'm used to, so it intimidated me a little.
Miss Yachie was really charming, though. She really has a way with words, which somehow put me at ease. It wasn't long before I lost all hesitation and had a great time with her.
She talked a lot about her business. Something involving a lot of otters. Said that it was hard to manage so many and keep them in line. I didn't really understand all of it at the time, but hearing her talk about it was really interesting, and I wasn't bored even for a moment.

Around the end of the date, she pulled out a sheet of paper and asked me to sign it, "for expenses and such". I thought it was a little odd, but I figured that it must just be a typical custom where she's from. A woman in her position probably just needs to make sure that everything is accounted for.
I couldn't think of any reason to worry about it, so I signed it without even looking at it.
She then explained that I just signed an ironclad marriage contract, and that I had thirty minutes to gather whatever sentimental items I want to take along to my new home.
For whatever reason, this seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. It's like I had absolutely no will to go against anything she said. I just got my stuff and went along with what she said.
Things really went to hell after that. Literally. Apparently she's some kind of ruler of hell, or something close to it, at least. It wasn't entirely clear.
I'm now stuck in her home, and only get to leave whenever she needs to show me off at some social function or to "let me get some fresh air", as she puts it.
The ceremony was a couple weeks ago, and it was a complete nightmare. Just an endless parade of freaks and other terrors, each more horrifying than the last. I'm just glad that I managed to keep myself from shitting my pants, at least. Some weird little goat-looking girl with terrifyingly sharp teeth kept leering at me, too. Said something about how "Yachie should better keep me on a tight leash, or you might just end up being stolen away", while laughing at me.
Even the sex isn't enjoyable. Miss Yachie meticulously scripts each session ahead of time, telling me exactly what I should do and when and where I should ejaculate, and she punishes me whenever I cum too early or too late.

It's already too late for me, but you can still save yourselves. Don't trust Marisa. Ever. Just find yourself a nice, gentle girl in the village to settle down with. There's always someone looking for a partner. Hell, it would be better to be single for your entire life than get stuck with someone like miss Yachie. For the love of everything, do not listen to anything Marisa says. She's extremely dangerous.

>>44237971
How'd you get access to the computer, anon? You know that that isn't in your contract. Best you get back to our rooms, hmm? You'll need to practice those breathing exercises before I choke you with my tail tonight. Don't worry about the spikes. You'll like it soon enough.

If anon had just given Alice a second date or tried to find a way into the SDM to meet Patchouli again maybe it could have ended better and another way.

But anon could always re play and try for a better ending?

>>44237971
heck, kicchou is really a swindler, a really low creature. the only way she can grab a man is by deceiving a small fry with two pairs of sticks as limbs.
a REAL matriarch would seduce and conquer a strong, masculine, virile villager, preferably a blue collar worker. Only one would look good besides you during the day, and be satisfatory at night.

>>44238174
Keep telling yourself that, Kurokoma.
We all know that you're just itching for the opportunity to break into Kicchou's house and claim her husband for yourself, by force.

>>44238128
That's a different anon, don't worry, our lovable idiot is safe!
I can't say the same about slightlysmartanon though...

>>44241221
Slightlysmartanon seems somewhat competent. That's a dangerous factor when dealing with youkai ladies.

>>44241614
He clearly isn't anywhere near as smart as he thought he was, or he wouldn't end up g̵e̵t̵t̵i̵n̵g̵ ̵r̵a̵p̵e̵d̵ ̵b̵y̵ enjoying sex with the animal matriarchs as he's continuously kidnapped and counter-kidnapped in their endless efforts to one-up each other, giving a new meaning to the term "trophy husband".
But on the bright side, Marisa's getting a lot of requests for bloodline prosperity these days, so business is booming.

>>44196621
>but then it wouldn't be an 1cc
It wouldn't be a No-Miss, it can still be a 1cc.

>>44211505
>she couldn't reveal anything at the moment because "Reimu would have my head as well as yours."
>I just nodded, wondering whether that was why she was staring at my head the other day
You're a fucking genius

>>44241221
>>44241614
It's a shame he wasn't smart enough to read a contract before signing it.

I caught Miss Hakurei today. She was in an alley in the street adjacent to my house together with a rabbit girl who I think I saw at Eientei during one of my old physical therapy sessions. I decided to stay out of sight because I didn't want Miss Hakurei to try and attack me next, but from what little I could hear, I think she was asking the rabbit questions about Doctor Yagokoro. My physical therapy sessions haven't been happening for a while, ever since Miss Hakurei destroyed half of the building. I've thought about resuming them, since the structural damage must surely have been sorted by now, but since I feel so much better, I've just never bothered. I tried that peach that Miss Tenshi much have given me. It was really tasty and I felt quite energetic after I'd finished it. I saved the pit and planted it just to see if it would grow anything.
I can feel something, while I'm walking around. A creeping sort of tension, like I'm being watched on my every step. I've been feeling it since I met Miss Tenshi and I'm starting to think it isn't just Miss Hakurei who's causing it. I don't know what anyone else would want with me, though.
After I saw Miss Hakurei, I decided not to stay out today. Initially, I was going to head to Marisa's house and see if she had any more prospective matches for me, though I'm starting to wonder if Marisa has the time. Surely she has other customers, right? I haven't seen anyone there yet, but I must have missed them. I've considered recommending her services to some of the regulars at places like Geidontei, but I'm not sure if that would be overstepping my boundaries. Either way, Marisa might be busy, and I don't really need to go and see her today. I can just go home and tend to the peach pit that I planted.
When I rounded the corner to my street, I froze. Next to my front door, peering intensely at the small pot where I had planted the peach pit so that it could get some sunlight, was a woman. She was tall, with striking green hair and a parasol slung over her left shoulder. She wore a vest with a strange sort of criss-crossing pattern on it over a white shirt and a long skirt of the same pattern as the vest. I couldn't make out her face from where I stood, but I think she was annoyed, if the way her hand rested on her hip was any indication. That didn't seem good, but since she was standing in front of my home, I decided that I'd better go and see what she wanted before someone else found me.
I walked up to the woman and tried asking her if she was interested in plants. She straightened up (and I found that she was tall indeed) and looked at me, which also confirmed that she was definitely annoyed. Her face was sharp and somewhat intense, and I felt like I was shrinking back slightly just from her gaze. "Your peach will fail." She stated plainly. I was surprised, not just at that being the way she introduced herself, but by how matter-of-factly she stated it. It was like she knew with total certainty that she was correct. I asked her for her name and she introduced herself as Yuuka Kazami. I felt like I'd heard that name before, somewhere, but I couldn't place it. Her hair looked familiar too.
Before I could put anything together, she snapped me out of my thoughts. "You're going to let this peach tree die if you leave them here. I will save them." She didn't ask, though I suppose I would have had to say yes anyway. It's hard to turn down someone like this. Miss Yuuka gestured toward my door, and I opened it for her. She entered without a word and retrieved the small pot with the seeds inside it. I asked her what she was planning to do, but she didn't answer me. Slightly bemused, I shut my door and awkwardly trailed behind her as she stepped out into the street. When I tried asking again, she gave me a look as if she was evaluating me. Finally, she narrowed her eyes. "If I leave you, you'll just do it again. Come with me."
Predictably, I didn't get a chance to respond. Without a word, Miss Yuuka took her parasol in one hand, tucked my peach pot under her arm, took hold on my wrist and within a moment had shot off into the sky, dragging me behind her. I shouted a little when she lifted off, but I quickly decided to try and stay quiet in case Miss Yuuka decided to drop me. I don't think I could crawl to Eientei from here if I even survived. Strangely, my wrist didn't seem to hurt much despite it carrying all my weight. I tried not to look down too much, but once I noticed a wide expanse of golden sunflowers below, I frowned. That mysterious youkai who supposedly terrorized people around here apparently had green hair too. I wonder if Miss Yuuka knows her.

Finally, Miss Yuuka came in for a landing after we had gone past a huge amount of sunflowers. At some point, they had started to become more sparse, with other flowers and plants competing for space. I tried to look at where we were going, but with the way I was being held, I could only see what we had just flown over. Before we actually hit the ground, Miss Yuuka let her iron grip on my wrist go and I fell, which made me feel like my heart had stopped, but I suppose we hadn't been that high above the ground, because I wasn't hurt when I landed.
Miss Yuuka alighted just ahead of me, in an open patch of land surrounded by wildflowers. I'd never been this far out into the valleys, but it was very pretty. Miss Yuuka turned to face me, still holding my humble little plant pot. "The land here will be more suitable, I should think." I asked her why while I tried to catch my breath. "Do you know what these are, you silly little human?" I swallowed thickly. I had thought that it was likely that she was a youkai, but there was the confirmation. I tried venturing that it was just the pit from a peach that I had found. "This," She said, pointing at the pot, "Is the pit from a Heavenly Peach. You cannot just 'find' this." I slowly nodded, then told her that I'd found it in my pocket after speaking to a celestial. I suppose I shouldn't have tried to conceal something like this from a youkai. "Really, now? That delinquent? She gave you a peach from Heaven?" Miss Yuuka stared at me quite intently for a while, and I tried not to react. "Just what kind of person are you?" She asked, more to herself than to me.
Finally, she seemed to snap out of it. "Heavenly peaches need to grow in an abundance of life. A sad little slice of sunlight in the corner of your home will not suffice." With what seemed to be no effort at all, Miss Yuuka snapped my poor pot into shards, sending soil raining down. Somehow, in her hand, I could see that she was holding the peach pit. I asked her what made this land more suitable, and she offered me a smile that was equal parts terrifying and pleased. I think it's because I was taking an interest. "Life is blood. The soil in the Garden of the Sun has seen many battles over the years." As she said it, she rolled her shoulders in a way that made me wonder if she had been involved in some of those battles. "The more blood spilled, the more life in the soil." She strode past me, over to a different spot in the field. "Fairies are another signifier of life. Here, we have quite the population." She motioned me over. "Stand here. No, here." She pointed me to a specific spot and took hold of my hand. "Look." I frowned, looking in the direction she was staring. After a moment, I noticed some strange shimmering in the air. "This will hurt." Miss Yuuka said pleasantly.

Then, with a strange haziness, a massive mansion appeared out of nowhere. It also sent a sharp pain lancing through my brain and I had to shut my eyes tight. "This is my home. Do not enter it without my permission or I will tear you limb from limb." She smiled, thought I found it mostly terrifying. I'm starting to wonder if I should have just let Miss Hakurei stalk me instead of...this. While I stood massaging my temples and cracking my eyes open slightly, I saw Miss Yuuka head for what could only be an equipment shed off of the main mansion. I decided to simply wait to avoid any potential limb-tearing. Miss Yuuka returned with some gardening tools, which she shoved into my arms. "Follow me." She muttered, stalking further toward the mansion. I slowly followed. When I reached her, Miss Yuuka stood with her arms behind her back. "Dig." She said, sweeping her hand and indicating the ground before me. "The pit will need more than the usual amount of soil, so dig it a little deeper." I started while she stared down at me as if I was digging my own grave. "It's rare that I find a human who takes an interest in the 'why' of soil mechanics. Perhaps I shall have to teach you more in the future. Especially if your Peach tree bears fruit." After a few minutes, Miss Yuuka deemed my digging sufficient. Crouching down, she gently placed the pit in the hole and rose to her feet. With one hand behind her back, she swept her hand across the ground and the soil, perhaps through some strange youkai powers, begin to shift back into the hole I had dug.
Miss Yuuka nodded satisfactorily after the job was done. "You may approach me if you see me in the village. I will take care of this tree for you. If you wish to see it, ask me." Miss Yuuka didn't broker any arguments. I thanked her for her generosity and expertise. "I had better return you before an angry Shrine Maiden comes after me." Miss Yuuka murmured. Then, without any warning, she took hold of my wrist again and lifted us both into the air. As it receded into the distance, I saw the mansion shimmer back into nothingness.
When Miss Yuuka dropped me back in front of my home, I found that it was must have been starting to get late, because the streets were empty. I felt Miss Yuuka let go of my wrist and I turned to thank her for transporting me back.
Miss Yuuka was staring at me thoughtfully. She raised her arms, gesturing to the empty street around her. "Did you know, human, that there were no less than four youkai besides myself in the immediate vicinity of your house when you came across me? There is something about you. You appear to draw youkai to you like a moth to a flame. It's no wonder that our dear Shrine Maiden is keeping her eye on you."

I love Yuuka so much, bros...

With his newfound peach-powered abilities anon will surely more than hold his own in the imminent fight with that shrine maiden.
I'm glad those lunarian fucks didn't get it first

>>44244861
>I wonder if Miss Yuuka knows her.
wheeze

>>44244885
>There is something about you. You appear to draw youkai to you like a moth to a flame.
Aw, even Miss Yuuka can see our bachelor is a good man! How nice!

>>44244861
anon now is immortal?

>>44244885
>there were no less than four youkai besides myself in the immediate vicinity of your house
I can guess Tenshi is a stalker and a bunny must be there monitoring him. But who are the other two?

>>44246748
Tenshi isn't a youkai though.

>>44244861
despite being this strangely knowledgeable, dumb anon seems to miss important uses to that wisdom, like avoiding dangerous people.
or maybe it is commomplace, and all villagers gossip about youkai and incidents.

>>44247539
He's not just dumb but meek as well.
Luckily for him he's got a celestial body now so I doubt he'll be dying anytime soon.

>>44244885
Anon is really good at making friends, not only does he meet Yuuka do all the other youkai are hanging around as well!

>>44245318
Maybe Reimu wants to team up with anon if he can act as bait for youkai?

>>44244885
Who would the 4 youkai be? Is she counting Tenshi as one?

>>44244954
Yuuka is the most marriageable youkai

>>44252400
She is up there for sure, but there is another umbrella carryibg youkai that is better.

>>44252301
could be kogasa since she might be in the village from time to time on blacksmithing, probably banki since she's waitressing, whatever rabbit eirin has on anon-wrangling duty, and...if it's not someone related to the story it could easily be someone like nitori who does sell in the village

Out in the sticks, near the mountain, there's a nice little trail that I like to walk through. I first walked it when I was young and invincible, and now, during the summer months when the sun stays high in the sky for endless hours, I walk it still. It passes by a little stream and is just high up enough to allow a nice view over the treetops all the way back to the village. Out in the distance, you can see the great steps that lead up to Hakurei Shrine. Sometimes you can even see Miss Hakurei engaging in a duel with whoever it is she fights up there.
I felt the need to explain this so that I can provide some context to explain that while I was gazing up at the mountain and wondering if that Hermit that Miss Tenshi mentioned lived somewhere up there, I heard the slightest noise. A little scrape of cloth on cloth behind me. I decided to not turn immediately, because if it was a youkai, I didn't want it to take my surprise as a queue for it to eat me. I still feel quite energetic. I don't know what the difference is between a Heavenly Peach and a regular one, but it was not only extraordinarily tasty, it was also lasting. I'm usually a little out of breath by the time I get to this trail, but this time I reached it without even feeling the need to catch my breath. It was also useful earlier, when I left my house. I had been thinking about what Miss Yuuka said about youkai being attracted to me when I spotted Miss Hakurei speaking to Marisa in the alleyway that I caught her attacking that rabbit in. I couldn't hear their whole conversation, but I could make it some of it. They were saying "Reisen's being cagier than usual about things.", "I don't know how long we can keep him in the dark about this." and "Eirin might throw caution to the wind before long." I think they might have been talking about me. I didn't want them to notice me, so I took the chance to sneak away, and then I felt too paranoid to stay in the village, so I decided to go to my little trail.
I waited until the sound I had heard seemed to have faded, then I spun around on my heel as naturally as I could. I didn't see anything at eye level, so I looked down. Crouched at my feet, just out of my normal eyesight when looking forward, was an umbrella. It was an unappealing shade of purple, looked like it had weathered a fair few storms, and had a large red eye on it along with what seemed to be a massive tongue below it. Come to think of it, I felt like I'd seen it before, but I couldn't place where. Before I had a chance, the umbrella shot up as what appeared to be a strange girl hiding underneath it jumped up. I had enough time to spot her blue hair, faded and patterned clothes, and her strange eyes (one red, one blue) before she yelled "Urameshiya!" I wouldn't say it was all too surprising, because I don't think she realised that I could see her umbrella for a few seconds before she thought to pop up, but she was close enough that it forced me to take a step backwards.
This would prove to be a mistake.
My foot went back and landed perfectly on a loose rock, which shook and bounced as soon as my foot was off-center. This caused my foot to slip, sending me further backwards slightly off the trail. Before I had a chance to recover, I realised that I was slipping into a spot on the trail where there were some densely packed bits of grass. This wouldn't have been an issue, but as I hit it and then, impossibly, slid through it, I realised that it could have easily been hiding a hole this whole time. Of course, by the time this thought crossed my mind, I was already halfway inside. As far as ways to die went, I didn't really think that 'spooked by an ugly umbrella into falling to my death' was all that great. I wonder if making the Yama laugh might improve my chances of getting into Heaven. I didn't really want to see what Miss Hecatia's Hell project had turned into. The last noise I heard was the cheer of the umbrella youkai being cut off abruptly. I hoped it was because she had realised that I wasn't just coming back.
So there I was, falling down a dark hole in the ground, with no idea where it went and no clue if I'd survive the next few minutes. I tried to keep myself from screaming so that, at least, my last moments would be a little more graceful.

I couldn't really tell time in the darkness, so I don't know for sure how long I was falling. I think it couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but it might have been an hour for all I know. What I did know was that at some point, I started to hear sounds. I could best explain them as a sort of snapping sound, and they seemed to be happening with increasing frequency the further I fell. I also felt like I was hitting something slightly sticky, but before I could figure out what it was, I was falling out into a slightly larger cavern. Here, I hit something, but unlike before, I didn't break through it. I felt it sink to take my weight before rebounding back, but I stayed stuck to it. I think the impact or possibly the shock must have pushed my brain over the limit, because I think I fainted for a few seconds.
I came back to consciousness when I started to feel a slight tremor to the thing I was laying on, as if something was coming toward me. I decided to stay still in case it was something dangerous, but I started to get worried when I felt a weight settle on my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and prayed that it would decide to leave me alone, but to my horror I began to feel something brush against my face. Suddenly, I felt hands, which cradled my face and tilted my head back, exposing my neck. My heart began to beat faster and I could tell I had begun to sweat when I felt hot breath against my neck. Then, as I made peace with my death, I felt something sharp and teeth-like press against my neck. For a moment, I felt pressure. It mounted slightly, to the point where I was convinced that whatever was on top of me was about to tear out my throat.
Then, I heard a loud, resounding and echoey crack, and the pressure disappeared. Indeed, the hands disappeared too, and I felt the weight shift as whoever was on top of me rocked backwards, rolling off. There was a girlish shout, an "Ouch!", and I finally dared to open my eyes. Having adjusted slightly to the dark, I could tell that there wa a girl hunched over on my chest, her hands pressed against her mouth. I tried hesitatingly saying hello. Her head snapped up and I could see the mixture of confusion and pain in her eyes as she stared at me. I asked if she was trying to eat me. "Trying!" She repeated back incredulously. "I shouldn't need to try to eat one lousy human!" She swung one arm into the air behind her, which throw a brightly colored ball of magical energy up into the air and lit the cavern. "Look!" She shouted. After a second of squeezing my eyes shut, I reopened them to find the girl (who was obviously a youkai) pulling at her mouth to expose her very sharp teeth to me. "You chihhed hy hooth!" She shouted at me despite the obvious struggle to speak while demonstrating what had happened. Looking closer, I could see that her canine was very clearly chipped on one side. I mumbled my agreement slowly, and she let go of her mouth. "Ugh, no food for weeks and when some idiot falls down here, I can't even eat him?" She muttered in clear consternation. "At this rate, I'm going to have to find out if I can survive off fear instead of humans. Or handouts."

I felt very unprepared to deal with this. Slowly, I asked the girl for her name. "You smashed through nearly all of my sisters' webs on the way down and you ask my name before giving yours? Whatever, fine. My name is Yamame Kurodani. I'm a tsukumogami. A very hungry tsukumogami, I might add." I introduced myself, wondering just how I found myself in these situations. "Well, you might as well get off of my web. Clearly, I'll be going hungry tonight, too." She finally got off of my chest and hauled me up into the air. I looked down and saw that I had been lying in a massive, finely constructed spider web, which made me swallow uneasily. I thanked her in the hope that it might prevent her from trying a second time to eat me. "Y'welcome, I suppose. I'll have to spend the rest of the week helping to rebuild webs, but at least you're happy." Finally, she brought me down onto solid, rocky ground. I looked around, realising that I must be in Miss Yamame's home. There were some scattered about things, like planks of wood, a store of firewood, and a house that seemed equal parts out of place and yet well-built. I asked Miss Yamame if she lived here. "Ugh, don't call me Miss. Yes, yes, this is my home, Mr. Homewrecker." She replied, pointedly. I asked if she had built it herself, because it seemed too high quality to have been any of the humans I knew from the village. "You really don't know much, do you? We tsukumogami are excellent builders. My house is nothing compared to some of the buildings we've made down in Former Hell." I told her that I've never been to Former Hell, but if the buildings are anything like Yamame's, they must have been excellent. She smiled smugly and told me that I had a good eye. I think she liked that. She also said that if I did need to go to Former Hell, she could show me the way, which seemed rather kind of her.
I thought all underground youkai were supposed to be unfriendly and dangerous, but despite being annoyed at me for falling into her house, Yamame seemed fairly nice. In the middle of my musing, I felt sharp pressure on my arm, followed by a second crack. "Damn it!" Yamame yelled. I looked at her, baffled. "Just checking." She muttered, rubbing what was likely a second cracked tooth in her mouth. I awkwardly rubbed my arm clean of saliva. "I've never seen a human with impenetrable skin before. What's wrong with you?" Yamame said as she stared at my arm. I frowned, then revealed that I didn't really know. I wondered if it was a side effect of eating the Heavenly Peach. Maybe I should have tried a little harder to find out what it was before I ate it.
"Well, whatever. I'll have to find something else for dinner. Want me to take you back to the surface?" I smiled in relief and thanked her. She sighed again. "I have to get rid of you somehow. You're standing there looking so tasty yet I can't even take a bite. It's just unfair." Then, she began walking and I rushed to catch up. Yamame didn't say much on the walk back, apart from telling me that I had fallen into a hole her sisters - other tsukumogami, I assume - had broken through to the surface so that they could get around and perform construction jobs for some of the other youkai. It was supposed to be hidden enough that no one would find it, but I was apparently the one idiot who happened to take walks up in that trail. When I told Yamame how I had fallen, she broke into a full laugh. "That was Kogasa! Oh my, she's going to be living off that high for months!" I'm not sure if I liked the sound of that. I think I wanted to give her a scolding.
Finally, we reached a much larger cave entrance, and I saw the sunlight of early evening. I hope Miss Hakurei hasn't been looking for me. Yamame seems nice enough despite trying to eat me twice, so I don't really want to see her get attacked for it. "Here you are. Your human village should be over, er, there...somewhere." She pointed vaguely in the direction. I thanked her again, and she grumbled something about no good deed going unpunished. After that, she left me there, trudging back into the caves.
I finally reached the village just as the darkness began to fall, which thankfully meant that I avoided any youkai lurking in the forest. When I entered my home, I found it nearly the same as always, but there were just enough very slightly different placements of items to leave me convinced. Someone had been in here.

>>44254898
I wonder if this mile deep fall will finally get his super durability through his thick skull, though that's super durable too...

>>44254912
>I'm a tsukumogami.
It seems our lovably oblivious Anon eating that heavenly peach had some other unintended consequences.

>>44254957
Give the man a break, he's clearly relaying the story in a state of upset.

That, or he didn't hear what Mi-- what Yamame really said, in which case it may be healthier for his mental health to leave it uncorrected...

>>44254957
it actually happened because I wrote this at 3AM and my brain is fried

>>44255063
Anon... You've listened to Hakurei-san and steered clear of Eientei, right?

>>44254898
>>44254905
>>44254912
A fine addition to our beloved anon's story! I wish him well on his future endeavours, and give (You)s to encourage more.

It sounds like Eirin is worried sick about Anon's health. Maybe he ought to make a visit soon!

>>44255933
Or perhaps Ms. Knowledge may have a good handle on the situation due to all that reading. She must be super smart to own a library like that. It wouldn't hurt to see if she knew anything about whatever was in that peach....

>>44254905
>>44254912
Anon is surprisingly rude, I hope Kogasa doesn't have to deal with his infantile rage for being a little bit scared.
Truly he and Tenshi are made for eachother.

>>44254957
I knew dumb anon was a load of bullshit
he just spits youkai trivia, while hoping his fellows don't question if he's right. he must think he is some cool shit. but sadly interacting with the things reveals the deepness of his knowledge.

>>44256545
True, Tenshi's wise and kind influence might be just what Anon needs. He's proven himself to be an exceptional human despite being a little oblivious, so it just makes sense for him to be with the exceptional Tenshi Hinanawi.

>>44246794
Youkai literally just means 'non-human' in the context of touhou so its fine

>>44252578
Kogazami jumpscare!

>>44259820
>Tenshi's wise and kind influence
I'm sorry anon, that was too much for me
You wouldn't believe how hard that made me laugh

>>44261119
Not so, Gods and Spirits are not counted among Youkai.

>>44254905
Sorry I'm not a drawfag.

>>44261596
Cute, thanks silicon slaver

>>44261596
Your efforts are noted!
Keiki said your reward is in the mail as we speak

>>44261596
you might not be, but you're already responsible for a hefty amount of my yamame-love anyway, so it's a moot point

>>44254957
It's obvious that Yamame was just so crazed by hunger that she forgot what her own race is
She'll be saying that she's a Tsuchinoko the next time anon sees her

Twice more, I found indications that someone was inside my home while I was not there. I didn't know what they wanted nor why they were so careful, but every time I returned, there was always some slight shift in my possessions. Nothing was ever missing, but things did move around. I mentioned it to Marisa once when she visited and told me that Miss Seiga wanted to meet me again, but I remembered how our last meeting had ended and politely declined. Marisa said that it was probably just my imagination, but I may want to "Stick to where people can see you. Just in case.". I asked her if there was something happening and she was very quick to tell me that it was nothing.
I would have liked to believe her, but it just felt off. I hadn't spotted any sign of Miss Hakurei in the last few days. I should have been glad, but now, I felt like I was even more exposed. Once, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was all but certain that Doctor Yagokoro was standing over me, but when I blinked, she disappeared. I also heard a knock on my door once, but found no one there when I answered. It was making me extremely paranoid.
Finally, I left my house. I decided that I would try and walk to the Garden of the Sun and see if Miss Yuuka could tell me how my peach tree was doing. I hadn't seen her in the village recently, but I suspect that the bad weather had driven most people to ground. The sunlight had disappeared for several days, to be replaced with heavy rain and miserable moods. The streets remained near deserted, a fact that didn't make me feel any less watched.
Once I had left the village, I felt like I could relax a little. Out on the roads, there was mostly fields that the farmers who lived on the outskirts tended regardless of the weather, so I saw some more people than I did inside the village. I waved to a few of the farmers who somehow remained cheerful in the middle of the rain, and hurried on further toward the Garden of the Sun, where I hoped that the name was accurate and the sun still shone.
I didn't make it there, though. As I rounded a corner, I heard the slightest sound of someone behind me. I whirled around, and there Miss Hakurei stood, her gohei raised between my eyes. After a moment, her narrowed eyes relaxed slightly and she lowered her arm. "You shouldn't be out here." She murmured. I could tell that this wasn't just a simple admonishment, and somehow, I just knew it was to do with what Marisa had staunchly denied to be anything at all. I asked Miss Hakurei what exactly the problem was, and she remained silent for a moment, her dark eyes boring into my own. "You already know, don't you?" She said. "You just don't want to admit it."
For a split second, Doctor Yagokoro's face flashed in my mind, along with some other nonsensical images of bottles filed with red liquid, and the beds in Eientei. I shook my head and tried asking Miss Hakurei what she meant. "I thought as much. You can't remember, can you?" I looked up at her in confusion. "Can you even remember me asking you if you were having memory problems?" I cast my mind back, though it felt like I was wading through a raging torrent. After a few moments, I was forced to concede that I was struggling. "You brushed it off at the time too." Miss Hakurei told me. "This could be bad." She whispered, more to herself than to me. "Listen, I need to look more into this. There's a hole in your memory. I've got my theories on why, but you need to figure out how to find out what's hidden there." She rubbed her chin in thought. "I have a suggestion. Marisa told me that she took you to meet Patchouli Knowledge once, yes?" I nodded. "Good. Go back to her. If anyone other than Eirin knows how to fix this gap, it'll be her." She nodded. "Get going. Your luck has been extraordinary lately. I don't think anyone caught you leaving." I was speechless for a few seconds, but slowly I agreed to go. As I began to turn and change my route to reach the Vampire's Mansion, I heard Miss Hakurei. "Hey." I stopped and looked back at her. "We're going to resolve this."
I breathed in deeply and slowly. Then, I thanked her and turned. I was walking before I heard her leave.

It took longer than I expected, but I finally reached the Mansion after I had emerged on the wrong side of the Misty Lake. Once I trudged round, I found that the gatekeeper was, like last time, seemingly asleep. Slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible, I tiptoed forward. Finally, I must have drawn one step too close. "I wouldn't take another step if I were you." The gatekeeper said quietly. I froze, my foot in midair. Her head snapped up and her blue eyes caught mine. "Not many would approach the Scarlet Devil Mansion of their own volition." She commented. "Your purpose?"
I tried asking her if Lady Patchouli was in. The gatekeeper cocked her head. "Lady Patchouli remains sequestered in the Library of Voile. Now, once more, what is your purpose here?" I was tongue-tied for a moment, trying to decide if I should tell the whole truth or not. Finally, I decided that it would be better, so I told her that Miss Hakurei had sent me to meet Lady Patchouli. The gatekeeper didn't answer, instead staring at me silently. After a moment, I felt sweat began to bead on my neck and I tried adding that I had met her with Marisa once. Immediately, I knew this was a mistake. "Did you, now?" Her eyes seemed sharper and I suddenly wondered just how friendly she was. "You know, I've spent years trying to keep that girl out of here. If you're accompanying her..." I swallowed as my eyes suddenly happened to catch on the muscles I could see rippling under her skin. Carefully, I told her that Marisa had used me as a distraction and I simply wanted to talk. The gatekeeper was silent for a few moments longer.
"He's not lying, Meiling." A voice sighed from right next to me. I jumped back when I realised that a silver-haired maid was suddenly standing right next to me. "I served both him and Lady Patchouli tea myself. Now, stop trying to terrorize him and open the gate." The gatekeeper - Meiling, I assume - let out a breath and stepped back, before pulling the great gate open. I said thank you as the maid ushered me through. She didn't speak much as she led me across the courtyard, into the mansion and through its twisting corridors. Finally, as I saw the door to the library come into view, she spoke. "I fear that I know what your real purpose here is." She said neutrally. "Do take care." I said what felt like my hundredth thank you of the day and hurried inside.
The library was as dark and still as I remembered. I hurried down the aisles, trying to work my way toward the center. Eventually, I found the large crescent moon desk, and Lady Patchouli sat with her head down, her hair falling into a curtain blocking her face.
I cleared my throat and her head shot up, but she regarded me coolly once she realised it was me. "You." She said. "No Marisa?" I shook my head. "Good. I've had enough of that black-and-white rat for two lifetimes." That seemed a little harsh, but I didn't say so out loud. Instead, I explained that Miss Hakurei had sent me, then I set about explaining why, which I found difficult since I myself was struggling to remember some of it. Eventually, Lady Patchouli stopped me. "You can stop there. As it happens, I already knew some of what's happened." I opened my mouth to ask her how she had known. "As for how, Your dear friend Marisa explained some of it on her last little jaunt to relieve me of my hard-earned collection." I slowly nodded. "Now, I hear that your memory is in something of a state? How interesting. Shall I tell you what I think?" I suspected that she was about to tell me regardless. "Something happened to you. These physical therapy sessions you were attending, you told Reimu that you didn't remember them. You assumed that it was just the monotony. I think not."

I didn't remember much of the sessions at all. I know I would lie down in a room, and I think some rabbits were there, but it was all a bit of a haze. I told Lady Patchouli as such. "As I thought. It's not that the memory was wiped from your mind. It's been muddled, swirled around and mixed up, like ink dropping in water." She suddenly smiled. "That will make this easier." I felt some hope enter my heart at her words. "I have some ideas. You're not going to like them." I tried not to sight, but at this point, I was used to youkai casually telling me how horrible something was going to be. "Obviously, the first person who'd be able to restore something like this is Eirin Yagokoro herself, but I suspect that you would rather not find yourself there." At my nod, she continued. "Marisa told me on her last defeat here that she had witnessed you eat a peach, and had then witnessed Yuuka Kazami take you with her along with a small plant pot. Am I to assume that this was not an ordinary peach?" I told her that Miss Yuuka had called it a heavenly peach, and Lady Patchouli's eyes widened at that. "My, my... Few outside of the celestials ever experience such a delicacy. You are aware that you're not...strictly speaking, a normal human anymore, yes?" I mumbled that I had suspected as much after Yamame's failure to bite me. "Well, don't worry too much. If Reimu didn't kill you for it then, she's likely not going to. Plus, it'll make this next suggestion easier to stomach."
Somehow, I thought that it was likely to still be awful. "Not all that long ago, I had the pleasure of teasing a Satori in the very chair that you're sitting in now. Do you know much about the Satori?" I shook my head. "Understandable. To put it simply, Satori are mind-reading youkai. I had the privelage of witnessing one - the same one, as a matter of fact - in battle several years ago, and I learnt that a Satori can use their third eye to hypnotize you and draw out your past trauma." I think my eyes widened, because I suddenly had a bad feeling about what Lady Patchouli was about to suggest. "That's right. You need to see her. If anyone has a chance at drawing whatever's hidden in your mind out, it will be her." I sighed heavily and cradled my head in my hands. Had this really all come about because I simply had wanted to meet a nice girl? Finally, I raised my head and asked Lady Patchouli where I could find her. "Satori Komeiji resides in the depths of Former Hell, in the Palace of the Earth Spirits." I'm not certain, but I think Lady Patchouli may have found my distress somewhat amusing. "If you were a regular human, I wouldn't suggest it, but as you are now, even you should be able to withstand any challenges you might come across down there."
I started to wonder if any of this was really happening or if I was in the depths of a fever dream. Lady Patchouli cleared her throat and brought my attention back to her. "Due to...certain circumstances, I cannot advise you on how to reach Former Hell. You may need to speak to someone who's been there." I suddenly remembered that Yamame had offered to guide me there if I needed, which really had come at just the right time. How lucky. "That's the best suggestion I can give you at this time." I nodded shakily and thanked her for her time. She smiled and told me that it was thanks for listening to her explain her magic when I was last here.
My mind was in turmoil for the entire trip back out of the mansion. As soon as I left the library, the silver-haired maid had appeared beside me once more to guide me back out. As we approached the courtyard, she asked if my visit had been successful, and I told her that it had been, more than I had expected. She nodded stately. As I left, I noticed that the gatekeeper, Meiling, was once more leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. This time, I elected to not hang around and quickly headed away. The rain hadn't let up in the whole time I'd been there, and I resigned myself for a miserable trip home. I hoped that, since whoever was entering my house hadn't done anything so far, I'd be safe for one more night.

The plot thickens...
I do wonder if turning into a celestial/augmented human by eating those peaches is actually enough for Reimu to try and kill you

>>44264411
>>44264424
>>44264430
This fills the Anon with dread
Just what is going on?
Do we dare find out?
I just wanted fun dates, bros...

>>44264553
Nothing suggests such. Hermitage, studying Taoism and other forms of ascension should be well legal in Gensokyo; most of the population is too complacent to pursue them anyway, so there's no mass conversion risk.

It's turning yourself into a youkai that triggers Gensokyo's gohei response, because it imbalances the tenuous fear/belief economy. Adding yet another youkai while removing a human, that is.

>>44264553
The taoists, buddahists, immortals, and celestials practice their craft openly and two of them do openly take practitioners. Its a hard path though and few will ever achieve it thus it doesn't affect the balance in any meaningful way meaning Reimu has no purpose in culling them.
Plus if you can become a celestial that means that Tenshi or Iku earmarked you so its a different story than leaving your humanity behind.

Anon going to Former Hell and the Palace of Earth Spirits is going to be quite something

its getting better

the steaks are rising

>>44266383
yumby steak...

>>44262013
anon, no! that is not powdered clay!

>>44266692
Open it anon.

>>44264430
wow, really. patchouli used this encounter to spread misinformation about the time she was flabbergasted at satori's wit? what did she accomplish here? she only provided information which could've been easily forwarded, now anon has to take yet another useless trip, exposing himself, while reimu is worried sick her bo- the poor villager might have dangerous scheemers with him on their sight...
it doesn't matter, when he arrives satori not only will enlighten his troubles, she'll provide evidence on surface youkai ineptitude.

>>44266692

>>44266781
I suspect the issue to be more of a subconscious matter and Satori will have to point our poor anon to yet another.
Lets just hope he steers clear of the animal hell, I hear they are starting to get bored of "sharing"

>>44266781
get off the computer, satori

>>44267569
I worry for anon's sake what happens if he runs into Orin or Okuu

>>44271707
Anon will finally learn true fear once he encounters a horny Yuugi-san.

>>44271731
She thinks kissing makes babies

>>44271707
>>44271731
Don't worry he's turning into a Celestial now, he can handle ALL of them at the same time

>>44271731
But I thought that Oni were always horny.

>>44271879
He only ate a peach, dude. It just means his skin became a little tougher, but he's not fucking invincible or something. A real oni is still going to break all his bones without even trying.
You can only become a celestial through either extensive hermit training, being judged as exceptionally virtuous by the yama (assuming Heaven rescinded its "no vacancies" policy), or through nepotism, but Tenshi, as a shitty delinquent, really doesn't have the pull to do so. The most she could do is encourage hermit training, which admittingly would be a huge boon, since even though she's really just a bottom feeder amongst celestials, she's still shown as rather knowledgeable, which just goes to show how ridiculously broken the real celestials must be.

I just hope that the village numbskull isn't going to take his slightly enhanced physique for granted and do something reckless that will really mess him up.

>>44271959
I know. I was just making a joke about Anon being capable of taking on all of them at the same time. In bed that is. Guess it didn't land that well

>>44264411
>>44264424
>>44264430
Say have you considering posting these on AO3 or www.touhou-project.com?

The weather did not improve. If anything, the rain only got worse. As I prepared to set off to the cave that Yamame had led me out of, I wondered if my house would still be standing by the time I got back. Clearly, at some point, either the rain would get in or whoever was searching the house would get angry and start breaking things. I'd have to find a new place to live. If the worst came to pass, I could always try and stay with Marisa. Or perhaps Miss Hakurei would let me hide out at the shrine if Doctor Yagokoro was still trying to get me. I wonder where Miss Tenshi lives.
I left early in the morning as lightning began to split the sky apart. I didn't really know what I would be getting myself into, but I hoped that I'd be home soon. The village was mostly silent, but I did get to wave to my favourite redheaded waitress as I passed her setting out signs for the shop she worked at. She inclined her head without speaking, but I think I spotted the slightest ghost of a smile. Once I was out of the village, I once more began to relax. I suppose it's because, like Miss Yuuka said, there might be more youkai near me in the village. Outside, I felt like things were relatively normal.
I found the cave easily enough. Yamame had been slightly wrong when she had tried to point me to the village from here, but I soon found my own path and before long I was standing at the mouth of the cave once more. I swallowed and rubbed my eyes. The darkness ahead of me felt like I was being swallowed into the maw of some great beast, from which I'd never be seen again. But then I thought about the hole in my memory and knew that I had to continue. Steeling myself, I began to cautiously work my way into the tunnel system. I only hoped that I'd be able to find Yamame before I fell down another hidden hole into the nest of something much less pretty.
In fact, once my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, it wasn't all that hard to navigate. I suppose it was a blessing in some respect that it was as rainy outside, because my eyes didn't need all that long to adjust. Unfortunately, I'd also underestimated how hard it would be to navigate a system of tunnels in the dark without any help, and I found myself repeatedly stumbling into dead ends and tripping on the uneven ground. Nothing looked familiar and the deafening silence didn't help.
In the end, Yamame found me. I'd have to call it a testament to her skill, because I didn't hear a single sound for the entire time I was stumbling around like a drunkard, and then, with only the slightest scuffle of clothing, I was suddenly face to face with a pair of upside-down bright yellow eyes. Before I could speak, I felt two arms roughly wrap around me and I was lifted off the ground, up into the ceiling of the cave network. A hand covered my mouth, and I felt that same pressure that Yamame had attempted two times already. As usual, my skin didn't break, but this time, Yamame pulled back before any of her teeth could break once more. "Hush." She whispered into my ear. "You don't want to be on that floor in a few seconds." After a few moments with nothing but my own heartbeat echoing in my ears, I began to hear a faint noise coming from down the tunnels. As my heart beat harder, it grew in volume until I could make out...singing.
Eventually, the source came closer and closer, until I could see a girl passing underneath us. She was small, but had massive horns that stuck out from either side of her head. Her hair was a vibrant orange loosely marshalled into a massive ponytail. I could hear a strange sort of jingling sound as she approached which I made it out to be chains. As she got close enough to see properly, I spotted a large, purple gourd in her hand, and on either wrist were shackles, from which long chains draped down ending in a spherical object and a pyramid object respectively. From the ponytail on her back hung a third chain, with a cube hanging from it. She walked in a stumbling fashion, though with the gourd I assumed that she was actually drunk whereas I had simply had poor balance. Her arms swung out in every direction with each step, as did her hair, which sent the chains swinging wildly, and their small attachments swinging with them. When one of them swung into a wall, I was shocked to hear a crash and see a small portion of the rock face crumble away. I probably would have jumped and made some noise to alert her to our presence, but Yamame's hand wrapped around my mouth and her other arm wrapped around my chest prevented me from moving. Thankfully, that meant that the girl below - and even I know an oni when I see one - paid us no attention as she passed.

After she had passed, I heard Yamame's voice once more. "She's an oni of old. Been passing through here a lot recently. Those chains could tear a human in two, and if they didn't, she just might try a second time to see why." Once the oni's voice had receded into the gloom, Yamame slowly lowered me back to the ground. "Well, you're still frustratingly inedible. It's enough to make me cry." She smiled, showing me her teeth. Her canines had clearly regenerated because they were looking wickedly sharp. I asked her if trying to bite me was her way of saying hello. She tilted her head in thought. "For you, I think. It's much easier than all of the how-do-you-dos, isn't it?" That was a little concerning, but at least she couldn't break through my skin. I'd have to ask Lady Patchouli if the effect of a heavenly peach wore off, and if so, how long did I have? I asked if that was something all tsukumogami did. Yamame stared at me blankly. "Tsuku...oh." She sighed and pressed a hand to her head. "You must have misheard me. That, or I was so hungry that I wasn't thinking straight. How many tsukumogami have you heard of that spin webs? I'm no tsukumogami, Mr. Homewrecker." I rapidly ran through my mental list of youkai. If Yamame wasn't a tsukumogami, there were only a small handful of species she could be, and none of them were particularly encouraging. "I can tell by that blank, vacant expression on your face that you might have some idea, hmm? Yes, yes, I'm a tsuchigumo." I must have gone all white at that, because she giggled. "Oh, but you are a funny sort, aren't you? I've never seen a human be so...nice to me!" While she laughed at my expense, I remembered the yearly reports of high fevers emerging from various places, and more importantly, that they were supposedly the work of the youkai who could manipulate infectious diseases.
Who, more importantly, was still laughing right in front of me, and had already attempted to bite me three times. "Finally put it all together, have you?" She asked me, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. "Don't go getting all scared now. I can't bite you regardless, and I don't spread any diseases unless you humans give me good reason to. Perhaps one day, you'll make it a full year without some foolhardy hothead trying to strike down the 'Mother of All Plagues'." I slowly relaxed. The realisation didn't really change that outside of the biting, Yamame had been fairly pleasant to me, all things considered. I asked her if I was going to get sick, and she put her hands on her hips. "Didn't you hear me? You're inedible, Mr. Homewrecker. I don't want another chipped tooth, thank you very much. Now, are you going to stand there and make my stomach rumble all day or tell me why you're actually here?"
I took a moment to collect myself, then began to fill Yamame in on all of my recent drama. Eventually, I concluded by asking if she could help me meet this Satori Komeiji. Yamame looked pensive. "I can help, I suppose, but...Is this okay? This sounds like the sort of thing that would have the Shrine Maiden on the warpath." I told her that Miss Hakurei had been the one to send me off to deal with my missing memory, and Yamame gave me a look of surprise. "Wow. I wonder if this Doctor Yagokoro's home will still exist by the time you get out of here?" I asked her if that meant that she was going to help me. "Oh, yes, Mr. Homewrecker. You're a funny human. I don't see those often. Shall we?" She offered her arm to me and I, feeling a little like I was probably betraying the memory of all those who had died from illness, took it.
As we walked, Yamame told me more about herself. She didn't bother humans unless they bothered her, but there was always some idiot who would try. Because of that, she didn't tend to eat much, which was why my inedibility had upset her so much. After crashing through all those webs on my way down that hole, she had then spent the next several days helping them to rebuild, which is why she suddenly veered away from one tunnel that we were preceding down, saying that there were some 'unhappy siblings' waiting down there. She said no to a second tunnel too, saying that I might just walk out of it sans my head. Finally, she picked a third tunnel to lead me down. She asked me about myself, and then spent the next few minutes laughing herself silly while I described some of my less successful dates, which turned out to be most of them.

After some twists and turns, we found ourselves at an old, but sturdy looking bridge. It was wide and looked well-maintained, despite the fact that most of the youkai who lived down here could fly over it. I suddenly felt a sharp pang of jealousy. It seemed so unfair that they could all fly and live all carefree while I had people messing with my memories and causing me so much paranoia. "Uh-oh." I heard Yamame say, but I ignored it. I was jealous of her, who people cared about enough to attack. I was jealous of Patchouli, who had so many books to read. I was so filled with envy that it hurt. "Hang on. Stay right here." I vaguely heard Yamame say through a cloud of jealousy, and I dimly noticed that my arm had been tied to the bridge with fine strands of web. That just made me even more jealous of Yamame who wasn't tied up right now. I hated it. I hated her. I hated everyone. I hated-
"Up you get. That's it. Come on, let's get you out of here before you try and attack me." I dimly heard Yamame and felt her lift me up. "Sorry about this. We try not to cross this bridge for a reason. She can't really help it, but..." I wished I had some way of attacking right now. I didn't really have anything specific against her, but I could make up plenty of reasons to attack her anyway.
This went on for a while, but slowly, my mind began to clear, the horrible cloud of jealousy hanging over me dissipating. I began to gasp for breath, and Yamame put me down against a wall for a moment. Those feelings had been so intense. So strong and overpowering that there had been no doubt in my mind that they were my true feelings. I gasped out an apology to Yamame for the things I had been thinking even though she couldn't have known them. "Oh. Er, I wouldn't worry about it. Really. I should have told you before we got here. Parsee's not usually so bad. She must be in a bad mood today." I thought about asking who Parsee was, but decided that it wasn't worth the effort. After a few minutes, I'd caught my breath enough to stagger back to my feet and carry on. Thankfully, it didn't seem like we had much further to go. I was already feeling warmer, and after a few more caves, I became aware of the faintest reddish glow around me. It became stronger as we walked, until finally, we rounded one last corner and the magnitude of the task I'd been set was laid bare. "Welcome to the Old City." I heard Yamame say.
The Old City was huge. It easily dwarfed my humble village in comparison and I swallowed weakly at the realisation that this place must be populated entirely by youkai. I couldn't say just how big it was, but the cavernous space it occupied was massive, with enough open air above the buildings that I could barely see the ceiling above us. We had emerged above the city, next to a large, winding set of stairs cut into the rock which snaked down into the city proper, where I could already see figures moving about. I then realised that Yamame was talking. "-Oni left, but some of them stuck around. My sisters and I were responsible for a lot of the construction back then as the city expanded. See there?" I followed her finger to a massive mansion off in the distance. "That's your destination. The Palace of the Earth Spirits. The Komeiji sisters lived there after the exodus and slowly, Satori Komeiji became something of a leader since she manages the access to the Hell Ruins." I nodded with the look of someone who had understood very little of what had just been said, then I asked if I would actually be safe down here. "Probably not." Yamame said cheerfully. "You may have tough skin, but that's worth little before any oni with their salt. Stick with me. They're like as not to bother if I'm with you."
With that cheerful thought in mind, we began our descent.

>>44273284
>I asked if that was something all tsukumogami did.
This was just about the funniest way to deal with that fumble. I kneel.

I can't believe my brain took the ONE time I drew yamame with yellow eyes and said 'yep, she always had yellow eyes, don't bother checking'
>>44272083
I thought about it but I don't have an AO3 account and since it's not really CYOA, I'm not sure it would fit on THP

>>44273586
I say make an account, it deserves it

I feel that anon will think about things he shouldn't when he meets Satori

>>44273586
A whole bunch of artists draw her with anything between yellow and brown eyes, so it's a commonly taken liberty. I do her with yellow ones when I can get away with it, because they just fit the colour scheme. Go together with other highlights.

>>44273284
>Perhaps one day, you'll make it a full year without some foolhardy hothead trying to strike down the 'Mother of All Plagues'.
Cheeky.

>>44272083
I would post in on thp.moe anyways. It's touhou, anons post stories there all the time and you don't need to quest to be on topic.

>>44273586
THP has non-cyoa stories on it too. There's no reason this couldn't go there. It would most likely be well recieved.

>>44274332
I don't get it

>>44274195
He hasn't had any indecent though though out all these dates so I doubt he'll think about something lewd when he's in a more serious situation.

>>44274195
The real issue will be when Satori notices his head is as empty as Okuu's.

Maybe I should try this Kirisame dating service thing
Can't possibly go any more wrong than anons adventure

>>44278280
I want to sign up now as well, the adventure is enough yet alone even giving the dating part a second thought

When you think about it, Yamame's basically giving him kisses every time she meets him

>>44279146
Little love taps.
Lets hope Tenshi doesn't find out about his trysts with the kind spider.

I'm kind of hoping anon runs into Remi-chan the next time he visits SDM, she might try the same as Yamame.

>>44278280
>>44279097
Is this the start of a DateAnon Universe?

>>44278280
>Can't possibly go any more wrong than anons adventure
Yes it can. You could die instead of possible getting a Tenko wife like that anon

>>44279184
>Lets hope Tenshi doesn't find out about his trysts with the kind spider.
Thankfully, she can't give him hickeys.

Yet.

>>44278280
Unfortunately, anon, you don't have the same plot armor as the other anon.

Come back when yer a little ... mhmmm.... luckier!

>>44279258
>>44279558
Didn't he kinda already die once?
I'm sure there are others that don't involve instant death
Surely...

>>44279597
'tis a flesh wound

UPDATE: Marisa sent me all the way to the mountain to find someone called "Megumu"
I wonder why she lives all the way up there

>>44279707
Use hiking boots, Anon. Just in case, of course.

How come Yamame gets TWO dates?!

Alicebros... we're still left hanging for that second date

I really hope momma Heca gets with anon. Shes so cute and friendly and i bet her feet are soft and smell nice.

>>44280030
>momma Heca
Clownpiece, get off the Shikigami, it's past your bedtime.

>>44280063
Does this mean Clownpiece wants her master's feet?!

UPDATE 2: Megumu was very rude to me and had me dragged to her office, but as soon as the guards were gone she hugged me and apologized over and over.
She even cried a little bit, but refused to admit it when I tried comforting her.
Overal the experience wasn't bad, she is extremely affectionate, excessively so, she probably doesn't have a lot of social experience.

>>44280410
Impregnate.

I wonder what the alternate endings are to some of anon's journey, like what if he'd got the directions to the library wrong the second time anon visited the SDM? What if anon had wandered into the wrong room and had it lead down some very different paths than meeting Patchouli...

>>44281874
Too gory for a blueboard of happiness.

The heat was already beginning to wear me down. The Old City might have been built in a massive cavern, but I could already tell that the heat was radiating from the opposite end, right by that mansion that Satori Komeiji resided in. As we reached the bottom of the rough stone steps that led to the Old City proper, I pretended that I wasn't at all bothered by what was happening. As a result, Yamame soon dragged me around the side of a building and out of sight of the streets. "Listen," She whispered, stepping closer to me. "This is the world of the oni. They're as likely to challenge you to a fist fight as they are to challenge you to a drinking competition if they get so much as a look at a human walking around all nonchalantly like you." Yamame took my arm and bit me. Thankfully, she still couldn't break the skin. "You might be safe from me, but an oni? Not a chance." I asked her what she was getting at, since this mostly seemed like a repeat of what she'd already told me before we'd come down the steps. "There's one in particular that I'm worried about. She's probably the strongest oni around. If she decides to try and attack you..." Yamame shook her head. "Well, there wouldn't be enough left of you to send across the Sanzu." I asked her what the plan was. "Keep your head down. Don't look anyone in the eye. Don't leave my side. If we're lucky, we won't run into her at all. If we do... I've got one idea. You probably won't like it." I assured her that I'd manage. "...Okay. Let's get moving. Here." She took my hand in hers and entangled our fingers. Then, with my head down, we began to proceed down one of the streets. "The oni might be a rowdy bunch, but they do respect some things. Fortunately, I'm one of them." She said with a smirk, gesturing around us. "A lot of these buildings were done by my sisters and I. At least, their original design was. I doubt what you see now is the same material we used, since-" Before she could finish, I heard a loud crash and, right in front of us, a large, muscular figure came flying through what used to be a solid stone wall. I jumped and nearly looked up wildly, but Yamame's hand in mind tightened and I managed to keep myself from getting too surprised. The oni who had crashed through the wall rolled over and shook his head, then lumbered to his feet, looking at us in confusion. I kept my head down, just as Yamame had told me.
"Oh. S'ry about that, Miss Kurodani." He grumbled in a deep and gravely voice. "Pub fight, Y'know."
Yamame giggled. "Just so long as you put it back together again, hmm?" The oni sheepishly nodded, a gesture that I found supremely strange coming from such a dangerous creature, then staggered his way back inside. We picked past all of the rubble and continued on our way. "That's what I mean." She whispered. "The oni will break anything you put between them with enough time. They're rather good about fixing it back up, at least." I nodded and asked where they were getting the materials. "They come up through The Palace of the Earth Spirits. We're not all that sure how, but Satori told us that she had a business partner 'somewhere near the ocean'. Not too sure what that's about, but I try not to ask." I decided that not asking was probably the best advice.
Instead, I asked Yamame what she knew about Satori Komeiji, since I really had no idea what I was getting into, other than that she could read minds. "Not much. People stay away from her. She's got a certain air about her and it becomes difficult to think at all." Yamame sighed, before turning at the next street once she saw a pair of oni wandering down the road ahead of us. "She knows what you're thinking. She knows what you've been thinking. Give her a few minutes, and she'll know you better than you know yourself." Yamame looked ahead like she wasn't really seeing me, or the city around us. "I think most of us try and limit our interactions with her. She can seem very smug at times, like she knows something you don't. The problem is, she nearly always does."
We remained lucky for most of the journey. Only a scant few times did we need to change streets to avoid larger groups of oni, and when we did run into individuals, they would greet Yamame and ignore me. This worked out well, and soon, we were almost at Satori Komeiji's home. And then, Yamame froze. "Oh no..." She murmured. I looked ahead, wondering what she was worried about, since the only person I saw was a tall, blonde oni with a single red horn jutting out of her forehead. "Ah!" Suddenly, Yamame spun me around, depositing me roughly in a little crevice in the wall that I hadn't seen. I fell into it and slid to the floor.

"Oof..." I was happy to see that the hole was empty, which I mumbled to myself. "It's not empty! You're sitting on top of me!" I tried to scoot backwards, but I suppose there might have been some uneven ground in here, because I didn't feel like I was quite evenly seated, as if I was sitting atop a small rock. "Sister told me to go for a walk, not go and found a human to use me as a seat! Would you just - ouch, that's my arm!" I backed up further, scrambling to my feet and stepping as far back into the corner as I could, while trying to keep my footing on the uneven ground In front of me, I could just about hear Yamame talking to what must have been that giant oni. "Urgh...Now I'm gonna be all dirty. Hey! Wash my clothes for me! It's the least you can do. Where'd you come from - wait, no, don't stand there..." Absentmindedly, I whispered to myself that I lived in the village by the canal, two doors down from the café. "I guesh yur wif Yamahmeh. Oncesh yur gohn, Ah'm cahmin' up dere ahnd shtealin' yur clothesh!" Finally, Yamame poked her head into the empty crevice and pulled me out with a relieved look on her face.
I stumbled forward a little after I stepped free, like I'd just been kicked from behind. "That was her." Yamame said, taking my hand once more. "The strongest of the strong. Yuugi Hoshiguma." I asked why I had needed to hide in that empty spot instead of doing what we did with the other oni. "She's also probably one of the smartest. Trust me, she wouldn't have ignored you. A few years ago, when the Shrine Maiden came through here, they had a fight that still gets talked about in the pubs today." That made sense. Miss Hakurei was still rather scary, after all. Finally, though, we were through the Old City and on the approach to the Palace of the Earth Spirits. "They talk about decorating the entrance with corpses all the time." Yamame told me. "Personally, I don't think it'll be all that aesthetically pleasing." I agreed. Surely not even a bunch of youkai would want to see some rotting corpses at their front gates? I asked her what I was in for. "I can't say...I haven't visited here for a long time. If I remember right, she has a lot of pets. A couple of them are full youkai and help her work. I've seen the hell raven; she passes through my caves from time to time. There's a kasha, too. She's always accompanied by a wheelbarrow." That actually rung a bell, and I remembered seeing her being sent out of the Myouren Temple once for trying to steal corpses from the graveyard. "Yeah, that sounds like her." Yamame agreed. "She's a strange one." I decided to restrain myself from remarking on how I'd never met a youkai who wasn't strange.
At the end of the approach, which was a cobblestone path lit by large torches, stood a tall, wrought-iron gate. Atop either side of it sat a pair of statues, which may have been made out of marble but had, with time, become blackened by all manner of dirt. In front of the gate, then, stood a girl. She had long and deep raid hair the colour of rubies, which stretched into two long braids which hung over her ears. Her ears - of which there were four, two human, two feline - flicked as she saw Yamame and I approach, and I noticed that her tail had done the same. One hand rested on her ever present wheelbarrow, and the other, she held under her stomach as she gave us a deep bow. "Salutations, dear guests." She called to us. "Our lady Kurodani, it has been too long since you have last graced our halls. And, you..." She stared at me, then sniffed. "Hm." And with that, she began ignoring me entirely. She turned back to Yamame. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"
Yamame gave me a sideways glance. "This one," She said, raising our joined hands, "Seeks audience with your master. Would you mind guiding us?" After a moment, she added "Why are you talking like that?" To what must have been the kasha. To me, she whispered. "Rin Kaenbyou. That was her name."
Rin's ear flicked at this. "Orin, if you please." She said. "It-" Yamame gave her a stare. "Oh, fine. I was only trying to be polite." She turned, pushing the gates open with one hand. "Come, come. Rather lucky of you to catch Lady Satori before she departed." She stepped forth and we hurried behind her. "Yes, yes, lucky indeed. Lady Satori must depart for the surface soon." I asked why, but Orin ignored me. I then nudged Yamame, who repeated my question. "Ah. I fear that I may not disclose such details. A widespread case calls the detective forth." I wondered what that was about. I hadn't heard much about anything that could require a mind reader's attention. Perhaps I'd need to get a proper subscription to the Bunbunmaru Newspaper.

We entered the mansion proper with a loud and suitably chilling creak. the first thing I noticed was the almost otherworldly patterns being created by the light which shined through several massive stained-glass windows. After a moment, I discerned the pattern of the glass as representing two girls, one with purple hair and one with greenish-white hair. "Satori is the one on the right." Yamame told me as she caught my staring.
"And Lady Koishi is the one on the left. But...well, who can possibly say where she's gotten to now?" Orin's tails swished as she talked.
We proceeded up the stairs and into another hallway, one which had even more windows which looked out onto the mansion's courtyards. These had patterns reminiscent of a large, three-legged bird. I swallowed nervously and gripped Yamame's hand tighter. After several twists, turns and a few flights of stairs, we arrived at a stately looking door. Orin looked at Yamame, still ignoring me. "One moment." She stepped inside and left us in the hallway.
I asked Yamame if she had any last minute advice. "Don't try and fight her. You'll fail and it'll only cause more problems." I nodded shakily.
The door opened once more and Orin's head poked out. "In, Lady Satori says." Yamame looked at me and nodded. I nodded back, and so we stepped inside.
Behind the desk, one hand under her chin, the other resting on the strange, spherical eye that hung suspended from tubes that criss-crossed each other and twisted into the shape of a noose below her collar, sat the one I had been brought to meet. Satori Komeiji. She gazed at me and her third eye narrowed slightly. I'd expected to feel something, like a creeping sensation in the back of my mind. Somehow, it was even more disconcerting to feel nothing at all. "Well, now. You're quite the mess, aren't you? Take a seat." She said, raising a hand and indicating one of the chairs opposite her. "I suspect that we'll both find this conversation most illuminating."

>>44282411
I'm prepared for the smug

>>44282411
>>44282547
smuggery
The tension heightens...

"I forgot... did the maid say anything about stairs?"
"Hello... Anyone? Lady Patc-"
"Oh look the delivery is finally here, so late too!"
"Delivery?... I was looking fo-"
"You're late enough, it's daylight outside you know! Be quiet and go in there silly human"
"I-I-I'm not deliv-..."
"Urrrrrgh... gug.... gugggh...."
"Hmpf, the deliveries are so bad these days, always late, and I still have to prep it for Miss Sakuya too. How inconvenient! These outsiders never appreciate our schedule..."

Anon entered the imposing mansion, pacing along an endless parade of doors, though seeing none that looked like the library from before until he reached a staircase. The corridor down there had little ornamentation or decoration. Thinking it might be worth asking for directions, anon walked through a swinging double door into what appeared to be a pantry. An ill-tempered fairy maid approached him, ushering him into a small tiled side room with only a steel table and a little drain in the heart of the room. As he tried to ask once more he saw a blinding flash from behind as he felt an electrifying pain surge through his body, head falling forward again a bright beam burst through his chest as words could no longer form and all faded to blackness...

...

"So juicy, so fresh, exquisite! What did you do to the recipe Miss Sakuya?"
"Nothing Mistress, I made them just the way you usually enjoy them.."
"Really? The syrup with these desserts, it tastes so rich, so fresh, so alive with flavour.."
"Oh actually... I remember now Mistress, one of the kitchen fairies told me we had some fresh ingredients delivered this morning, perhaps it was that the mistress noticed?
"Well.. Whatever it was please see to it that it happens again Miss Sakuya!"
"Yes, I will ask again and see to it Mistress"
"Kyuu... juicy?"

The Scarlet sisters approached the drawing room table for their evening brunch, admiring the platters their maid had prepared. Remilia picking a deep crimson coloured berry from the top of a sponge cake, took a moment to savour it with great joy. She curiously pressed Sakuya for knowledge why their usual meal seemed to be better than normal, but Sakuya was at something of a loss to explain. More interested now by the evening's desserts Remilia turned her attention back to the platters as Flandre lovingly gazed at the small, elegantly decorated feast in front of her.


Bad Ending 6

Perhaps you should have asked the maid to show you to the library? Wandering around a place like the Scarlet Devil Mansion isn't a great idea..

Fascinating thread.

>>44282645
I fear

He may have lost his hand-virginity to Tenko, but Yamame's making him a man eight times over...

>>44284007
I'm pretty sure she still primarily wants to eat him and not in the sexual way.

>>44285140
I don't think she'd be going to all this effort if she didn't like him a little
or a lot, since she does seem pretty eager to keep trying to bite him despite already knowing she can't

>>44286280
Have you ever bought something you knew you shouldn't? Or eaten something now when it would have been better saved for later?

>>44286390
Considering Celestial flesh is toxic to youkai, there must be something more at play here.

>>44284007
You seem to forget that while alone with Yamame in her room(web) he just closed his eyes and let her mount him.
She has also carried him around in her arms, I think Tenko is going to have to stop being such a shy prude unless she wants anon to be swept away by these ruthless female predators around him.

UPDATE 3: I'm posting this from my phone, Megumu refuses to let me leave now.
She currently burrying her face in my chest and if I move too much she squirms a bit before pressing her head in harder.
She mumbled something in her sleep but I couldn't quite make out what it was.
If anyone can figure out what "mawage" means, I'd appreciate it.

>>44282399
I'm getting the strangest sense of dijon-mustard from this post.

>>44287120
>If anyone can figure out what "mawage" means, I'd appreciate it.
That's just slang for when a tengu bribes the local officials to cover up a kidnapping.

>>44282411
>>44282399
>>44282391
I eagerly await the Smugtorin chapter
>>44282656
This is why you always need to make sure to go in by invitation, and for fucks sake don't get pushed around by fairies

>>44279597
That was another anon, check the different format of their filenames.

>>44282656
How do you get overpowered by fairies?

I hate when threads like this hits the bump limit because its always a mystery if the writefag will continue it in another one.

>>44289942
Terminal politeness. Many such cases among the Japanese.

>>44289942
Anon is too much of a push-over even an angry looking fairy can bully him around in the right circumstances.

>>44290184
Are we sure that he's not related to Akyuu?

>>44290184
It's a miracle someone hasn't forced themselves on him.. yet.

>>44289947
Make a number two electric boogaloo or whatever

>>44290205
That might be why he hasn't been intercepted by her or pressured into marriage despite being eligible.

>>44289947
OP here, if someone can get together a quick grenetext to write up a for anyone that's not followed the full story so far I might bake a new thread to continue the story, it's sort of become a continuation of some older threads before this one

Well here we go >>44290289

>>44146513
I'm a taurus, read the entry and you'll understand.