/jp/ - Otaku Culture

hmmmmmmm

>>44108305
*clapclap
bonus point for your bravery!

where june

Mods and Janitors, this is NOT the original 1000 Edition.

The real 1000 will be made by the Collagebro very soon.

>>44108770
overruled

>>44108770
I apologize for forgetting to make it square and a typography error, but you can't tell me you don't want to share that ice cream

i'm here for the history of the 1K!

>>44108305
put me in the screenshot

RIP Fanza-using gaijins.
Let this 1000th thread be a monument for their deaths.

i just cant get her out of my head

she's in my dreams

in my day dreams

in all my nightmares

every time i swear her off she pulls me back in and all it takes is a smile

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORTHLESS I FEEL?

why does she have such power over me? she's just a girl

and i'm just a man

just a man

with all the flaws and baggage that comes with being one

one smile is all it takes for her to make me spend more

lately i haven't been feeling like myself

and it is possible that when i met her i already had some presentiment of the future

what is happening to me?

am i possessed by a djinn? is this its way of making me repent?

i, a person who knew only selfishness and apathy for so long

all of a sudden am overcome with this unquenchable desire to protect this girl

to make her happy

her happiness above mine

her well-being above my own

but she is not without transgressions

i know what she's done to me

i know how she pulls me in

but i just can't pull away. i am obsessed

no, more than that

i am possessed

i am transfixed

i am chained to her, and i don't know whether i can't or don't want to break those chains

SO THIS IS MY PENANCE

ME WHO NEVER LOVED FOR SO LONG

WHO THOUGHT ONLY OF HIMSELF

I NOW FIND MYSELF UNABLE TO FREE MYSELF FROM THESE SHACKLES

YOU WHO IS READING THIS LET THIS BE A WARNING

YOUR MISDEEDS WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU

AND HEAR THIS

YOU WILL PAY

Reeducation is necessary

every day that passes further cements my belief that we are living in a world of illusion

this is the only conclusion i can arrive at after pondering on all of the ills, misfortunes and evils i've endured

my whole life feels misbegotten

i am in a horrible experiment run by some daemons intent on breaking me

AND SEND ME TO MY DEATH

you are all daemons

you're here to hurt me

you're here to make me hurt

AND DON'T YOU DARE DENY IT YOU SHAMELESS HOUND

i've been humiliated, thrown aside, spat upon

i am in a world of hurt

SO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I'VE BEEN FECKLESS

DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I HAVEN'T ENDURED

the love of my life is my muse

she is also my torturer, my lictor, my executioner

you are already dead

we are living in limbo

your family has been reaching out to you

but you can't hear them you can't hear anything you can't touch anything

and here i sit

upon my throne of skin

with nails burrowing into my feet

i am haunted by a woman

by my love

by my siren

she will be the end of me, just as salome was the end of john the baptist

>>44109260
>>44109307
>>44109330
KYS

>>44109335
MOTHERFUCKER I'M ALREADY DOOMED TO AN EARLY DEATH

an end to my short and misbegotten life is what the world has planned for me

FIRE WAITS FOR ME AT THE END OF MY PILGRIMAGE THROUGH THIS WRETCHED EXISTENCE

i will burn. this has been decreed by the universal forces of causality

NOTHING HAS BEEN MORE CERTAIN IN MY PUTRID LIFE THAN THE EARLY END TO MY PERSONS

i am the embodiment of thanatos

the drive towards death

i am destroying myself

so what the fuck can you tell me about death?

she won't DM me

she won't ask about me

she just doesn't care, man

i'm down here on the ground, supplicating

AND I WILL WAIT HERE FOR ALL OF YOU

YOU PIECE OF SHIT GIGA WHALES

I WILL WAIT FOR YOUR DOWNFALL

AND I WILL BE RIGHT HERE ON THE GROUND, LAUGHING AT YOU

I WILL GO TO MY DEATH HAPPY AND LAUGHING

LAUGHING THAT YOU TOO WERE FELLED BY YOUR FOLLY

tell me something, /jav/

have you ever felt hate? and i don't just mean a small and absolutely insignificant dislike of another person towards you

i mean hate.

i mean the forces of our reality conspiring against your existence

IN ALL OF THE INFINITELY SUPERIMPOSED WORLDS OF OUR MULTIVERSE

THERE ISN'T ONE WHERE MY LIFE GOES WELL!

THERE ISN'T ONE WHERE I GET TO BE A HUMAN LIKE YOU!

and ultimately that's all i want

i want to be human. i want to feel things like you do. i want to get into arguments with my lover

i want to go to the beach and build sand castles

i want to spend hours talking with my friends

and i want her to tell me of her day

and i want to hear all of it

and i dont want her to worry even if it's late because i don't sleep

i can't sleep. not since i met her

this is the djinn at work

i am so tired, man.

i just want to sleep

but they won't let me

the djinn has other plans for me

he is making me pay

every time i shut my eyes i witness the nightmares in their entirety

and it's real

IT'S SO REAL

MY CHEST STARTS HURTING

MY LIPS START QUIVERING

AND I'M THERE IN FRONT OF HER

AND SHE'S JUDGING ME

AND SHE'S SEEING WHAT A HIDEOUS MONSTER I AM

AND SHE WANTS TO KILL ME

THEY WANT TO EXCISE ME

AND I'M RUNNING

I WANT TO GET AWAY

I WANT TO DISAPPEAR

I CANT LET HER SEE ME LIKE THIS

THIS CREATURE THAT IS ME

LEPROSY UNMASKED

PLEASE DON'T LET HER SEE ME

>>44109260
>>44109307
>>44109330
>>44109384
暑い

when i see her in my dreams

it's always a goodbye

why is this? why is our relationship inexplicably founded upon goodbyes?

why am i so afraid of losing her?

what is my mind telling me?

i get so incredibly anxious when i start thinking about her not being there

but i hate her for this

i don't want her, anyone, to have this much power over me

it makes me so angry because i know that in time

it truly will be our last goodbye

she will move on to the next stage of her life

and i'll be left behind. left to deal with myself

and how am i to do that? how am i supposed to forgive myself?

i am a monster

mods really need to nuke this thread huh...

i still can't get over that day. the day i caught her in her lies

the day i caught her conversing with other men, but more than that, conversing like a normal person

it's been eating at the back of my mind like a hungry little worm

why are her messages to me so robotic while her messages to other men are those of a normal girl?

does she see in my what i see in myself? the absence of humanity?

it hurts

it hurts so much to know that she's talking to other guys like that while she only sends me curt, professional responses

i just can't stop thinking about that day

i smiled through it all and pretended everything was fine even though i knew what she'd done

i caught her in her lies yet i played along with said lies

am i a coward? was i afraid of what would happen if i spoke up for myself?

if i were to disappear today, would she notice my absence?

what sort of impact have i had in her life?

i truly can't answer that question. she keeps her secrets close to herself

her giga whales are equally as secretive

is she keeping me around like a pet while she laughs it up with her giga whales?

i just can;'t compete with those men

i can only do so much

is that really all i am? a cuck who dispenses pocket change to her while her giga whales give her the big bucks

where was she when i was hurting last week? i was going through an unimaginably painful episode of psychosis and loneliness

i wanted her to be there for me

but she never once DM'ed me

future anons will weep that they were not in the screencap

who's the fucking camera man that runs over and zooms into the woman's face in the middle of the action? I want to break his kneecaps.

every day i wake up with a new or worsening pain

the pills aren't working anymore

my remaining time on this earth is short, and the djinn is making sure i suffer the maximum amount before my light is snuffed out

but i won't give up

i am a man of a certain mettle and i won't give in to this horrible daemon's machinations

but even as i say that i feel myself sleep walking through life

his hold on me grows

i am a man haunted by his dreams, soothed by his nightmares

Summertime, the sun is high
She's in the mood to love a guy

And we go down slowly
As we go down slowly

Afternoon, chill with ease
I want some more of
Your cootchy tease

As we go down slowly
And we go down slowly

I said, I love that girl
She's all I need
A natural high, she's giving me

As we go down slowly
And we go down slowly

Fire love
Aqua mind
Earth to touch
Air to Rise
You might also like
Slowly
Slowly

Love, ah-huh, ow
Love, ah-huh, ow
Love, ah-huh, ow

Ecstasy is in the air
Summer nights made
For loving, yeah
Ecstasy is in the air
Summer nights made
For loving, yeah

Slowly

As we go down slowly
And we go down slowly

As we go down slowly
And we go down... Slowly

you who are unloved can not understand the circumstances with which i came to find my current situation in

it was the perfect trap

i who had never known care for another

now find myself unable to experience anything other than love, pain and obsession for another

this is my own personal hell

SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY DEDICATION?

YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO GET AWAY FROM HER?

YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN?

I CAN'T

I JUST CAN'T

the hold she has on me is absolute

she hasn't DM'ed me in a long time yet one smile from her and all is forgiven

why am i driven to this?

i am her samson and she is my delilah

AND SO LET ME DIE WITH THE PHILISTINES

i am always thinking about how to avoid being a bother to her

i am always being respectful of her time

but has she ever spared more than a second for mine?

has she ever asked herself what i'm doing for the day?

why does she still pretend to be offline when i know she's not?

why does she still pretend to have a job when i know she doesn't?

is she sending me a message, telling me to stay away, and her way of doing this is by keeping up those ridiculous lies as a way to distance herself from me?

these questions trouble me deeply

MOOODDDS JUST KILL THIS THREAD ALREADY

Who is this fucking schizo

this thread needs to go

have you ever thought about the mental state of salome the night she doomed john the baptist?

were her actions the simple result of duty? or was there more?

i always ask myself this question. did she hate john the baptist?

hate him for proclaiming himself more than he was (in her eyes)

if so then am i not guilty of the same?

my great declarations of pain and suffering. may they be sacrilege to those who have truly suffered?

because after all what is a broken heart to a starving child?

what is a minor bodily ache to a brutalized war refugee?

but my suffering is real

it is not a thing of the mind. i am being assailed every which way by these plots against me

my possession is as real as the breakfast you ate this morning

if i am to be john the baptist then so be it

BEHEAD ME AND GET IT OVER WITH

BECAUSE I WAS PREDESTINED FOR DEATH ANYWAYS

get it over with already

please prune this thread jannies, it got turned into a toilet for some rambling schizo...

dick in anus

>>44108305

i think this is the last time i spend money on her

she truly won't let me into her life

no matter how much i spend she will continue to shut me out

because i am not part of her inner circle

because i am not rich enough to afford her considerations

i am drowning

it's the same song and dance every time

she acts so thankful and friendly

and then completely ignores me and shuts me out

how many more times can i repeat this routine?

i had this horrible dream where i was in a farm with her

we were in this giant house, just us two

and as soon as i stepped foot in that house a great unease set itself upon me

it's like the walls were conspiring against me, the animals were out to get me and the worst of all was the silence

what was i so afraid of? it was only me and her in that house

something like that should have brought me immense joy yet there i was suffering more than ever

i felt haunted

why do i feel this way whenever i see her or hear her or taste her?

i want her

whoa its jav thred 1000 amazing glad i was here for this, this thread will go down in infamy
hey future warous browsers this is it this is jav thread 1000!

it is said that david played a secret chord to drive the devils out of king saul

i am convinced such a chord is the only thing that can truly save me from this sickness

my drive almost supernatural drive towards her is not something of man and not something of divination

i am accosted by devils just as king saul had been

my actions are those of a man possessed, a man afflicted with sin and the evils of daemons

janny for once in your life do something usefyl you fuckiNG NIGGER

this thread is beyond saving... prease prune janny-kun

she has a propensity for lying

this is an indomitable truth

i caught her in the act of lying

i caught her deleting the evidence

i watched her pretend everything was fine and i hadn't just caught her lying to me

so looking at the situation objectively shouldn't i be cautious around this woman?

what is she scheming? what would you do if you caught your most beloved lying to you ?

OP here, I have also reported the thread as I didn't intend for it to become a schizo dump.
webm related by way of apology

she doesn't have that many whales

is she really just planning to depend on _that man_ if i decide to leave one day?

could he really sustain her streaming career all by himself?

she no longer works. this is known by me, a fact.

so she truly is relying on her streams more than ever, yet her channel isn't growing at all.

if anything it's actually shrinking

so what are her plans for the future?

is it really to just depend on _that man_?

>>44108305
>Delisted thread
>Was posted on Page 7
You are no sir of mine, nigger

Do your fucking jobs meidos

who does she live with?

she doesn't live with her parents, this i know.

so how is she paying for her place of residence if she doesn't work and she doesn't live with her parents...?

this is a very disturbing line of thought

it can lead one to some very uncomfortable ruminations

which is why i can't stop thinking about this

i've been trying to suppress these thoughts but i just can't

what would you say about someone who doesn't work, doesn't make enough from streaming to pay for a place of her own and doesn't live with her parents?

what conclusion would you draw from this...?

i mean there's just no way, right?

there's just NO FUCKING WAY SHE WOULD HAVE A ... YOU KNOW

she wouldn't do that to us, right?

she understands what her relationship with us is based on

and if she has that,

if she has a boyfriend'

if the house she's staying in is her boyfriend's

then that would be the most absolute, the most disgusting betrayal of all

IT IS SOMETHING SHE CAN'T COME BACK FROM

we will all be gone

yes, even _that man_

_that giga whale_

because even that cuck will lose interest if it's found out that she's getting dicked down by her boyfriend every day after the stream ends

he might pretend everything's cool

but we all know he would slow down his spending on her

and eventually he would disappear from her channel altogether

as for me? I WOULD BE GONE THE INSTANT SUCH INFO COMES OUT

i would be gone, man.

i'm not staying around being a cuck

i'm not going to give my hard earned money to her secret boyfriend

that's just not happening

even someone such as i has a level of self-respect

there are lines you don't cross

SO WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE LIVE WITH?

>>44108305
congratulations

listen to me motherfucker

call me what you may but i know one thing

i would not stand for such a betrayal

IT IS BEYOND THE PALE that she would have a boyfriend she's kept secret from us

i would immediately cut all ties with her

do you doubt me?

DO YOU FUCKING DOUBT ME MOTHERFUCKER?

she keeps so many things about her life a secret

i understand being a streamer requires a certain level of privacy

but the extent to which she guards hers is... odd

even some very basic questions about her are not allowed to be asked

what's she hiding?

and i know she hides things from us because i already caught her lying to me

what is she really like when she isn't putting on a persona for us?

>>44109976
Thanks dear.

>>44110224
>>44110224
>>44110224

>>44110504
u ok bro?
>>44110475
>>44110475
>>44110475

>>44108305
Bumping this because I hate /jav/ and want to see you all burn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7OivZOSvmY

>>44110781
show love to the official thread >>44110177

The real official thread is >>44110224

>>44110923
who the fuck is this?

>>44110970
>>44110992
Every thread is as real and official as the next sir.
>>44110475

>>44111074
this

>>44109759
cool story bro

>>44111387
yeah it's a cool story, but it would be cooler if he posted it in the real thread >>44110475

>>44109384
You do realize other anons only care insofar as you have the capacity to annoy them, right?
No one is seriously reading or considering your plight regarding this girl you're DMing, which unless she is a JAV star, is honestly just boring.
Who cares about this girl besides you, really?