/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>43766446
I could probably take Shinmy if I got the first strike in.

>>43766446
None, I wouldn't like fighting any of them.

She's going DOWN.

Taste the pain!

Dibs on cl*wnpiss

>>43766446
I probably will never take a 2hu in a straight fight, considering the fact that most of them are magical flying fucks that can move at high speeds (humans and youkai alike). I can't toss danmaku at them without time to actually learn said danmaku. I mean, Reimu can casually hop out of reality for example.

Of course, you can't exit reality if your brains were scattered all over the Hakurei Shrine tatami mat at midnight, courtesy of a 12 gauge shotgun. You can't stop time if I unload a pistol into the back of your head while you buy tea for your mistress. No point pulling about the mini-hakkero as I riddle you with SMG fire whilst dressed as a garbage bag. After all, I wouldn't recommend swinging at a 2hu with a baseball bat, a knife, or your barefists.

But that's all about dealing with humans. I would never go after a youkai without extensive preparation. Perhaps I can get a 1911 blessed by a Southern pastor loaded with sliver bullets. Chances are however, Akyuu is a lying fuck and that I can gun down your average youkai with regular 9mm. But they are tough pieces of work, with unique abs dangerous powers that can quickly turn fatal on my end.

Simply put, if you're a basic average Joe who falls into Gensokyo, fight dirty. Utilise every advantage you have, because the girl-shaped maneaters will. Be prepared at all costs, including a way to flee.

>>43766446
It would be less of a fight and more a consensual struggle snuggle for fun.

I would attack Yuuka. See how she likes it...

>>43766890
Yeah, go for it! It's not like you can break EVERY bone in your body.

Punch a fairy they will regenerate and you can punch them again

Sumireko
Every time I encounter this turbocunt in eratohoTW I can't help using my TSP to slap her.
Joon too.

Shame they have no reaction too it.

>>43767274
I don't know, beating the shit out of a minor isn't going to be a good look.

>>43767287
Her dialog says that you are classmates, which means you are the same age as her.
Which means beating her up is fine.

>>43766446
a 2hu that regenerates

>>43767107
>>43766801
Even the average /jp/ wristlet could easily overpower and beat the fucking crap of every touhou girl except Yuugi (built like a brick shithouse), Meiling/Kasen/Ichirin/the himes (trained in combat), Utsuho (retard strength), Keine/cowe/kagerou/Yachie/Saki/Gote (beast strength) and Nemuno/Byakuren/Eirin/Junko/Kanako (mommy strength). Okina would be too easy, just lock the brakes of her wheelchair and go ORAORAORA on her fucking face.

>>43766446
I wouldn't be opposed to wrestle with Ran. I mean look at her, full of weaknesses inherited from her fox-like physiology. Pinching and grasping the base of her ears and tails is like an instant KO. Abuse the Kitsune's weakness to aburaage for a tactical distraction. Jump her when she is asleep for maximum advantage. Attacking between the months December to February is an even better opportunity, as she is more vulnerable without Yukari. Applying all these tactics, I am sure to come out on top.

>>43766446
I'd murk Reimu. No cap, just dust her ong.

Reisen. There are many situation in which unarmed combat works better than a rifle or handgun at close range.

>>43766446
I'm assuming in the situation were equal in strength/ability
if so I wanna fight Yuugi, you know how rad it would be to fight toe to toe with a powerful oni like her

>>43766604
Second

>>43766801
how are you going to hit them with some piddly bullets that move in straight lines?

It might be fun to fistfight a fairy. Assuming it's for fun. If it's a serious fight, I'm sure the fairy would just kill me with danmaku.

>>43766577
Wriggle after bothering Yuuka for the nth time asking if she has a futa cock or not. (She doesn't but wriggle keeps forgetting since her "brain" is the size of an appleseed.)

>>43766446
I want to have a fistfight with Seija until one of us collapses.

>>43775979
Depends of the fairy, the danmaku might not do anything at all if it hits you.

>>43775950
By being a cheating shit that hides in bushes.

None. I'd lose to all of them. I'm pretty sure even Kosuzu or fairies would beat me without much trouble. Akyuu might be a "match".

>>43776804
Go fight Seija and tell her that you're going to let her win since you feel bad for her. She'll do the opposite of what you said you wanted and make herself lose.

I'd beat the shit out of kyouko
I just like to abuse dogs because they are such doormats. Maybe I'll coerce her into having sex with me after.

>>43776022
All the concussions she has gotten over the years probably doesn't help either.

>>43766446
I would beat the shit out of every single fucking moonie 10 times over except for the rabbits. The rabbits are cool.

I'll use her breast as my punching bag

>>43766801
Youkai don't fully understand the true power of mankind, we're a species that's evolved to fight dirty, and our technology grants us powers most youkai could only dream of.

>>43778962

DORIRU ATTACK!

I cant defeat her......

>>43766446
I could beat the shit out of these trio of fairies any day, especially star sapphire. And anyone in this board who says they could beat above the light fairies would get obliterated in real combat After all, something like a not-so powerful danmaku bullet would incapacitate you from the pain.

>>43766801
>" if your brains were scattered all over the Hakurei Shrine tatami mat at midnight, courtesy of a 12 gauge shotgun. You can't stop time if I unload a pistol into the back of your head while you buy tea for your mistress. No point pulling about the mini-hakkero as I riddle you with SMG fire whilst dressed as a garbage bag"

This anon gets it, Fight nasty, fight dirty, for you are in asimetric warfare. also IED traps could be twice effective against a shopping sakuya.

>"Perhaps I can get a 1911 blessed by a Southern pastor loaded with sliver bullets"

this is also the right mindset. try a shotgun with blessed salt shells. youkai sure as hell feel pain.

I'd rather not fight a hu unless I have to.
>>43766801
>>43779614
I remember a thread from last year that had this discussion. Guns blessed by priests are good, older and popular guns are also a good way at fighting the residents of Genosoko. Stuff like the garand, the m1 carbine, the Thompson, kraut guns, the 1911, and commie crap like the mosin and ak47 can work probably even better since commies deny the spiritual. As for your more modern popular stuff 44 magnum is a good example to use.

>>43779696
Oh and I forgot the important part. You have to walk with faith and logic.

>>43779696
>>43766801
You don't even need actual guns, even airshit guns that you believe will work are enough, like in Purse owner 5.

>>43779703
So a full auto bb gun could get the message across for uppity yokai?

>>43779719
Pretty much. You could even BTFO powerful ones like Yuugi, Suika and K*sen if you use _soy beans as pellets.

>>43779727
Wouldn’t that give them more estrogen?

>>43779702
I elect a Martini-Henry in good old .577/450.
500gr soft hollow points would do a good job at blowing out anything that wasn't supernatural, & do a good job in making me believe that it could kill a youkai.

>>43766446
Why people always mention the 1911 as a good gun to fight on gensokyo? Did the church make it its official gun or what?

>>43784385
Pretty sure it's just one autist. Probably an American, they love their 1911s too much.

>>43784385
Mainly because it's been a weapon design that's been around for over a century. With age and popularity, the 1911 is recognisable and has the "meaning" that is prevelant all throughout Touhou.

>>43779696
the answer for what gun to use is my dick
2hu cannot resist temptation of the flesh, maybe I would pretend to fight at first - then get 'hit' and wait for it to approach for the coup de grâce
but I'm not dead! she tries to check if I'm breathing but I lock lips with the alien bitch and before she knows what is happening her face is in the dirt and my 'm1 garand' is filling her up from behind with magic bullets
she could twist away from my hands choking her neck or kill me with a spell at any moment but her ass won't obey, she's trapped by thirst and forced to accept all my bullets fired directly into her womb
by the time I'm done she's too exhausted to fight back anymore. ez win >:3

>>43784385
>>43784425
>>43784625
I thought it was more the meme of "God's calibuh" being used as justification that it would inflict holy damage.

>>43784385
it ties with Jonh Browning, He was an Armsmith also a devout mormon and missionary.

>>43784671
that too, plus >>43784874

>>43784665
I'll give you points for wanting to woo the hus.

>>43785155
the thing is, in touhou, jonh Browning could really have developed the .45 ACP to fight the supernatural. The Colonist and missionaries not only had to contest with Native american Shamans and their idols, but also Wendigos and Skinwalkers.

>>43766801
>Of course, you can't exit reality if your brains were scattered all over the Hakurei Shrine tatami mat at midnight
you'd be gapped away before you reach her and deposited unarmed in front of a hungry rumia
>You can't stop time if I unload a pistol into the back of your head while you buy tea for your mistress.
everyone in the human village would instantly notice the out of place, fidgety outsider creeping around the market place, including the perfect maid. She'd discover your weapons and put 2 and 2 together with how you've been staring at her and decide you wouldn't be missed. Your time in Gensokyo would end with you hogtied and carried back to the SDM as a bonus bit of groceries.
>No point pulling about the mini-hakkero as I riddle you with SMG fire whilst dressed as a garbage bag.
technically possible but I doubt your ability to acquire even a garbage bag, let alone an smg and ammo, in Gensokyo before becoming youkai chow
getting your ammo blessed by a Southern pastor in Gensokyo most unrealistic part of your plan, you'd have to become an ordained minister before entering and do it yourself
and lastly:
>But they are tough pieces of work, with unique abs
I want to lick Meiling's unique abs

>>43785291
As the old saying goes: The only .45 you should be carrying in bear country is 45/70.

.458 lott semiauto for youkai hunting when?

>>43785414
Pure Youkai copium. Please exterminate yourself.

>>43766446
I would face Satori and think about goatse, gay porn and lewding her. Instant KO.

>>43785778
I was gonna make a drawing about fucking with Satori with thoughts but I never did, I wonder if admitting this here in /jp/ now will make me do it now or make it even more unlikely.

>>43785778
>think about Satori with curvy hentai bodies, fugging her, and fugging her while she’s pregnant with twins
>she passes out from the sheer lewdness
Okay that solved one sister but how do you fight Koishi?

>>43785889
Throw Shiny objects to distract her

>>43785988
That can work. I was also going to say go full Bobobo weird on her but that’s easier.

>>43785807
Imagine that >>43785889 and do it!

>>43785889
Exactly.
Take meds/alter perception/hurt my subconsciousness to weaken her.

I made a tier list of touhou character i would take on a fight. What you think, /jp/?

>>43786297
Satori should be easy though.

>>43786297
>Satori
>impossible to beat when the way to beat her was already posted

>>43786367
her intense stench would make it impossible to think lewd thoughts near her

>>43786340
>throw a punch
>telegraph it before you even move your hand

>>43786377
I don’t know what you did to get into a fight with her but the only way to win is push that aside and imagine her as a fertile baby factory and non-stop sex.

>>43786297
>Difficult fight, but I can still win
>Yuuka motherfucking Kazami

Can't make this shit up. What are you going to do?
Threaten her garden? Have fun with a parasol lodged in the space where your heart was.

There are more ridiculous things in this list, but this one stands out to me.

>>43786649
its to beat on a fight not kill on a fight for the death.

>>43787249
Yuuka is still basically the one punch man (sorry) of Gensokyo though

>>43787249
Yuuka is one of the few proper youkai by species that might give Yuugi a run for her money in terms of raw strength. You are not going to win against her. And if you do try and manipulate her into not fighting somehow, she'll just kill you if and when you do whatever it is you threatened.

>>43787249
So beaten within an inch of your life. You'll find that Yuuka can show a surprising amount of restraint.

>>43786208
I procrastinated and now it's too late but I'll try to deliver tomorrow. It will probably be shit, though. I'm sorry in advance.

>>43786386
Being able to read a move before it happens is worthless if you lack the reflexes to do something about it and Satori does not seem too physically inclined.

>>43766446
Assuming I had powers to fight them?
Probably none. I'm tired
Maybe punish the fairies or Tewi if they misbehave and that's about it

>>43786297
I don't know about Youmu. She can do some Virgil level shit with that sword. Even if you're fighting her unarmed, the amount of strength and dexterity she would need to pull off that kind of swordsmanship is sure to translate over into beating your ass with her bare hands.

I guess I should ask now, is this based entirely on a physical 1v1 with no weapons, magic, or powers involved?

>>43786649
>>43787249
Also, Mokou was getting continually shot *for real* in IN, she only gave in because she couldn't handle the pain of dying like eight times in a row.
If you think you can hurt a girl like Mokou enough to get her to stop, you've got a nasty surprise waiting, and it's not like the immortal hobo is weak or something either.

>>43787618
She probably doesn't have to lift a finger to win if she doesn't want you. She can just wait until you exhaust yourself beating her up and then knock you out in one punch.

>>43787612
In the fairy manga youmu starts slashing at Reimu and Marisa while being driven crazy by Clowpeice's power. They both just casually dodge the sword swings while sipping sake, snacking, and calling youmu a lightweight.
Marisa at least is only a normal human so its possible to be able to just casually avoid youmus attacks as a human if you train hard enough.

>>43787669
I also wouldn't count out Komachi if her job requires her to kill the occasional hermit like that one manga implied. The ability to manipulate distance can also be a tricky one to deal with in a fight.

>>43787689
she doesn't kill hermits, thatsa the job of the kishin, and they seems to be pretty incompetent at that, the one who tryed to kill seiga did'nt even check if his attack worked

>>43786297
Remilia should be up in no chance tier as well. Even without magic or powers she's still a vampire with superhuman strength and speed.

>>43788200
that superhuman strength and speed comes from the magic and powers, otherwise she could not justified with her 10-12 years old girl body.

>>43788200
Realistically, I think everyone by Akyuu and Kosuzu would be in the top tier.
MAYBE someone like Tewi and the fairies would be beatable in a regular fight, but I wouldn't count on it.

Humans just aren't that strong compared to touhou characters.

>>43788268
Anon, she is a literal vampire, she could snap your neck with one hand.
If you're gonna go down that road, then none of them are that hard since they are all women.
If we say "no weapons or offensive magic", then that leaves good old fists, which she can tear a new one in you with.
If we say "No magic whatsoever" then she poofs out of existence since her entire being is based around magic being a thing.

>>43788299
Anon, the premise of the thread is who would you fight, not who would you duel. in duels there are rules and spectations, in a fight to the death there is none. and from the direction of the thread is going there.
also why are people riled up? by the logic and Dualistic setting of the series, anti-magic/ anti-fantasy exist, so youkai getting depowered and negated is a very well possibility

>>43786297
You wouldn't win easily against Momiji. She's a guard by occupation. To be fair this whole chart is a joke if you think you'd easily win against Sakuya, Suwako, or Youmu though.

>>43788358
*think you'd have a change of winning against...

>>43788347
>Anon, the premise of the thread is who would you fight, not who would you duel. in duels there are rules and spectations, in a fight to the death there is none.

...what? In a fight to the death, you lose, end of story.
In a duel, you'd also lose since you'd need pathetically specific rules to have a hope in hell of winning. My point was that saying she looks like she's 12 is irrelevant, since she still has inhuman strength and reflexes, and to get a convoluted enough set of rules in which she can't use them is laughable, since that's like playing chess against a grandmaster who's blindfolded while you can still see. You'd need a ridiculously one sided handicap to have the slightest chance of winning.

Now, if you had a convoluted way of winning a fight underhandedly, that's be interesting, but a straight fight would probably be suicide. In fact, your best bet at getting whatever out of this scenario is avoiding a fight entirely, hoping they don't get bored of entertaining you and kill you for fun.

>>43788419
To be fair, vampires do get taken down by humans in various stories. The question is if you have the necessary prep time and equipment to pull off a victory over a vampire since the protagonists of vampire stories rarely if ever get their win in a straight fight with no special equipment on hand.

>>43788419
>"In a fight to the death, you lose, end of story."
>"she looks like she's 12 is irrelevant, since she still has inhuman strength and reflexes"
no, read again what principle was mentioned in the comment

>" You'd need a ridiculously one sided handicap to have the slightest chance of winning"
>"if you had a convoluted way of winning a fight underhandedly, that's be interesting"
both are not mutualy exclusive and both are possible.
>"to get a convoluted enough set of rules in which she can't use them is laughable, since that's like playing chess against a grandmaster who's blindfolded while you can still see"
"that's like negating a cavalry charge against professional Master Knight with Pike and shot Formation"
yes, Engineery and Cleverness make revolutions in the battlefield. and the knight is still seething

How durable is Shimmy? She's got magic and she can skewer you with that needle so it wouldn't be one-sided, but you do have major advantage in size and mass. One solid hit might end up like King Kong VS Airplane.

Akyuu, Kosuzu and Renko are easy. They're normal humans whose powers don't translate to fighting at all.

The fairies would be an issue if they could use their brains, so you could manage.

>>43788553
>"that's like negating a cavalry charge against professional Master Knight with Pike and shot Formation"

No, since that would require actual forethought and innovation. What you're describing is purposefully handicapping one side of every advantage they have going for them, even though their race literally determines it.

I used that analogy because it's stupid to say you "won" in that scenario, since you had literally every single advantage handed to you by the rules of the tournament, even though by all rights you shouldn't have won since the skill gap is just too big.

In a fight to the death, unless you had every kind of magical charm you could find, an anti-material rifle loaded up with silver bullets blessed by a priest, and a whole hell of a lot of luck, you'd die.
Someone like Rumia? Maybe not so certain.
Remilia? Pull the other one.

Spell card duels are just that; Duels. Normal humans can't do danmaku, so you'd probably suck there as well.
If by "duel" then you mean a fight with arbitrary rules you get to decide, then sure you might win, but only because you could literally negate anything like a kid playing pretend who keeps coming up with reasons why he won't go down.

In an actual fair fight, where you don't get to dictate the rules of engagement, you'd also suck since 90% of youkai can beat you physically in every way, and most of them are smart enough to make use of their indefinite lifespan to gather knowledge on any game of strategy they'd actually know about.

Face it, the tierlist sucks because it doesn't matter if you get shot in the face by a pistol or a cannon, since you die before you can admire how the howitzer shell that went into your skull turned you into a smudge of red in a crater compared to just falling over dead.

>>43786297
Crack-head courage
LMAO

>>43788200
I put her on there because she is a neet who has her maid do everything for her, when put on the ring she would have no idea how to throw punches.
Thats also why i have no chance against Flan since she is a rabid animal who would not be afraid to use her claws and teeth on a hand to hand fight.

>>43788848
Remilia strikes me as a "retired" vampire if that makes sense. She didn't always have Sakuya around and there was probably a time in the past when she had to do her fighting personally to establish herself as what is essentially a vampire lord. Whether it was rival supernatural entities or human vampire hunters, there were probably plenty of threats for her to have to contend with in the outside world. Maybe older members of her household like Patchouli helped her out but she likely had to do a bulk of the fighting.

>>43788848
no

>>43788630
"purposefully handicapping one side of every advantage they have going for them, even though their race literally determines it"
they literally got handicaped away by the outside world
>"unless you had every kind of magical charm you could find, an anti-material rifle loaded up with silver bullets blessed by a priest"
what makes you think the anon who make that list didn't thought about it?
>"whole hell of a lot of luck"
you dont need luck when you have Blessings.
>"duels are just that; Duels"
Yes, we went through that, the premise of the thread is, "a fight", not a duel.
>"since 90% of youkai can beat you physically in every way"
read again the post and the Dualistic principles mentioned early magic/anti-magic, Nihil ex nihilo, so they atributes comes from magic.
>"them are smart enough to make use of their indefinite lifespan to gather knowledge on any game of strategy they'd actually know about"
the hedonistic creatures with magical atributes which is stated that never improve because they relied comfortably in their habilities, not exactly the conviction and motivation to engage in "arms race" with humanity.

>>43788910
Ironically my headcannon is that she actually had to play it safe and secure in the outside world, annoy to much other supernaturals entities and you have a turf war in your hands,
begin wasting vampire hunters and you get exponentialy more harder resistance, worst if you piss off enough of the Vatican/Anglican church/Orthodox patriarch, you could possible get intercepted by Elite Zealots who makes Reimu and Yorihime look merciful and Friendly by comparison

I can win against Yuuka.
I'll treat her nice and take her out for dinner, then I'll sacrifice newborns to her.

>>43789565
It is fun speculating on the western supernatural scene of the Touhouverse. On a related note, my headcanon for Meiling is that she is a Scottish Sinoboo who fought off vampire hunters for her at the gate.

>>43789692
the thing also is, the historical scene in touhou is the same as in the real world, so can have situations like:
>Julian the apostate realy had help from the last olimpians gods and still lost against the Galilean
>Pope Sylvester II may have had a Succubus mistress, Meridiana
>Yamato gods really had a hand in stopping the mongol invasion fleet
>Daji, a Kitsune, was indeed responsable for the fall of the Shang Dynasty
>Vlad III was Weirdly enough THE Christian Vampire, responding to the Calling of Crusade agains the Ottomans by Pope Pius II
>Conquistadors Fighting not only the Aztecs but the supernaturals of Mezoamerica.
>Boxer Rebels with actually taoist enchantments against Projectile Weapons, and still got defeated by their western enemies

and we could go on and on.

>>43786297
Yeah, good luck, Anon. No, seriously, good luck.

>>43786297
>Watasuki no Yorihime in "who"
Anon what the fuck

>>43786297
Half of the choices below difficult make you look suicidal. There's no way to "win easily" against, say, Letty or Yamame 1v1 in a serious fight, and that's without mentioning someone like Hecatia.

>>43789593
That sounds more like her winning against you.
Honestly I'd do the same though

>>43787554
I got distracted and now I'm drawing something else. Probability of me actually drawing this is now approaching 0. Sorry.

>>43766801
2hus dodge bullets on a daily basis and you think yours would have any effect?
even if we dont go with game "logic" there is a billion death-defying mcguffins including some that explicitly are used by the main characters like eirin's elixir. made by a hourai with absolute immortality, so forget your anti-magic.
you also forget that gensokyo has a physical afterlife with borders looser than your mom lole. enjoy vengeful ghost sakuya from simply coming back and sawing your testicles off with a rusty knife assuming that you aren't immediately gapped by yukari and thrown into a woodchipper.
with resurrection/reset powers also being a thing, you could AT MOST cause a slight inconvenience and give yukari a headache about how some outsider was able to fit an entire gun up his asshole to bring it into gensokyo before the status quo resumes unperturbed. your legacy will amount to a stain on the ground and anal inspections.

this guy >>43779703 is more on the right track, and only because airshit is usable for initiating a danmaku battle that would protect you from getting vored. i mean, some spell cards are literally just throwing rice seeds.

gensokyo is the land of fantasy, and the supernatural works in ways that defy all common sense, reason and logic.

>>43798042
>"enjoy vengeful ghost sakuya from simply coming back and sawing your testicles off with a rusty knife"
>The self Profesed Atheist, misanthrope who chops Innocent outsiders civilians for a Brat vampire sisters who really need just the blood and not the flesh, who may have been a Vampire hunter, which makes all of the above Worst by betrayal
She ain't escaping her daily rape in Hell anytime soon anon.

>>43766446
I will fight every 2hu.

>>43801509
Will you?

>>43806744
Yes I will.

I admit it, it's unrefutable, I cannot deny it any longer!
2hus with bruises/cuts/injuries/scars/bleeding slightly turn me on.

>>43807564
You need some help.

>>43807564
>bruises/cuts/injuries/bleeding
Cute, make me want to take care of them
>scars
scary-hot, I don't want to be pegged :(

>>43808930
Never!

>>43807564
Post some examples then.

>>43766446
God I want Toyohime to hit me with her soft, warm fists so badly....

>>43766446
Reimu I fucking hate her so much

I want to beat up Sumireko.
Punch her square in the face so her glasses shatter on her eyes.