/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>43334650
That’s a cute Keine
> If you were totally honest
None. /thread

>>43334650
Probably Kosuzu. Maybe Kokoro.

>>43334650
None of them.
The most likely would be Kosuzu. I think I could get along with her very well, even if I'm not really interested in her.

>>43334672
I don't know a lot about, what about her makes you say that

>>43334650
Clownpiece is my only chance.

>>43335141
Why Clownpiece?

willingly and with adult's consent? None
With no choice or because of retardation? That hobo girl because i would provide meals to her. Cirno maybe if i give her candies or some shit, or any of those retarded fairies. i don't think reimu is poor or desperate enough to go out with me, besides im not that rich.

>>43334920
She seems kind of dorky and she's enthusiatic about books. I like dorky people that are enthusiastic about something.

>>43334650
None, but that won't stop me from trying.

None.

>>43334650
Shinki

>>43335307
>i don't think reimu is poor or desperate enough to go out with me
You know one thing that's always turned me off from the idea of IRL relationships is the idea that a girl would "settle" for me based on her relative status to mine. Like I earnestly don't think I'm guilty of the same thing - I have likes and dislikes but they seem pretty detached from social status (personality first, physical appearance second).
So ironically girls showing interest in me to the point of asking me out AFTER getting to know me a bit is a massive turnoff and red-flag in my book that makes me friendzone them immediately... which actually happens every so often I guess. I kind of suck.

Anywho with that in mind I am assuming one of the oni, based more so around lust and power dynamics than genuine romance. I am incapable of having an intimate relationship unless it is forced upon me.

Kogasa. At the very least I think we could be good friends. We could both fulfill our need of being wanted.

>>43334650
None.

>>43334920
>>43335377
What I meant to say is that I get along well with those sorts of people. It's fun to ne with people enthusiatic and passionate about their hobbies, and they seem to like me for the same qualities. She's not anywhere near my favorite, but she's a dangerous girl for my beloved wife.

Seija, she's the only one who would date a loser.

>>43336443
What makes you think she would?

Honestly? Alice. She isn't anywhere near my favourite but I like antiques and dolls fall into that category sometimes, so I'd have the most in common with her than anyone else, I could use that common interest to convince her to teach me magic and then so on

>>43336470
Because she is Seija and she does the opposite of what everyone does.

>>43335650
Women have evolved to marry up and hunt for meal tickets
Failing to do so usually meant they and their kids starved
So while they can care about those things, total self interest is first and foremost

>>43334650
Maybe Sanae would want to talk with someone from the outside world.

>>43336593
Good thing these are youkai, so they don't have that instinct

>>43334650
None.

Kokoro might be naive and autistic enough to go for someone like me.

>>43334650
Yukari is an insecure autist, so if someone managed to stay persistent and thaw the ice queen, they might catch her

>>43334650
None. If real life woman do not want me why would fantasy woman with magical powers?

>>43337285
They are supernatural monsters with alien desires
The heart wants what the heart wants, and their heart wants (You)
You're an insecure mortal so they can mold you into whatever pleases them

>>43334650
Honestly none. I got nothing to offer

>>43334650
>If you're totally honest with yourself
Historically, I've mostly attracted very flighty and capricious women. I don't know that much about enough 2hus to say with any certainty, though suffice it to say that doesn't include any of the ones I'd be interested in.

>>43334650
None, and if I could think of any, it'd probably be the ones I wouldn't want anyway.

>>43334650
I could possibly be friends with Nitori with my outsider knowledge of mechanical engineering, but none of them would want to be near me romantically.

>>43334650
Maybe Luna or one of the other fairies.
Although they may not get the concept of romance and would see dating just as another game, like how the three fairies decided to live like humans for fun.
I want to say Remilia, but I doubt she'd want to date a peasant.

>>43336471
That's called being a friend
Which isn't a bad thing

>>43337748
perhaps you could convince her to turn you into a vampire but then you'd be confined the the shade and night for the rest of your life. Basically a lower form immortal compared to kag/mokou

>>43336503
Anon, that is my wife you're going for.

>>43338591
unrequited wife, be honest with yourself anon...

>>43338389
>you'd be confined the the shade and night for the rest of your life. Basically a lower form immortal compared to kag/mokou
If it meant being together with Remimi for the rest of eternity, those downsides are nothing.

>>43338675
her mansion doesn't even have internet! Think!

>>43338702
All I can think about is how cute Remilia would look in a wedding dress.

>>43338389
I barely see the sunlight anyway whats the problem? All you need is a umbrella and even if the sun gets you the only thing that will happens is you turning to dust until night then regenerating back.

>>43334650
If I ask Okuu to date me, she might say yes. Then Satori would explain to her what "dating" means. Then she'll forget everything two seconds later.

Other than that, Kosuzu is still probably the most realistic choice. There's no way a youkai, even among the weakest ones, would actually be interested in dating a lowly human. Suzu is at least mostly a normal person, and I can imagine her being actually happy to meet someone else who can read books not written in japanese.

>>43338797
>the only thing that will happens is you turning to dust until night then regenerating back.
is this the canon lore to vampirism in the touhouniverse

>>43338591
I'm not going for her, she's the one going for me

>>43338203
But men and women can't be friends...

>>43338889
Got a few longterm female friends and I'm a wizard so I'unno

Just a reminder that most of those girls only speak Japanese, and language barrier is a big deal when it comes to romantic relationships.
But that's not an issue for you, since you've been studying Japanese, right, anon?

>>43338917
Why would i need to learn when i can just read the subtitles?

>>43338917
Ano... etto... hai!
Ore ga... anata no koto wo... aishiteru! Sugoi jikan aishiteru!

>>43338823
You must prove your strength and wit to claim the supernatural
Rinnosuke is living proof that a mortal can pull this off

>>43334650
None

>>43334650
Probably one of the alcoholics. If there's one thing I have going for me, it's that I can be a funny drunk. That being said, I don't enjoy drinking as much as I used to when I was younger so I'm not sure how that would pan out for me.

How many alcoholics do we have outside of the oni anyways?

some touhous are clearly closet perverts. and my chinpo works fine, so yeah, maybe...

>>43342007
>rinnosuke
>mortal

>>43342056
>how many alcoholics
all of the alcoholics

Damn, good question. I read a lot, play music, play vidya and love to drink.Love travelling and exploring the wilderness and different places alien to me. Also like to cook and create shit with my hands, edible or not.
What qt 2hu would be interested in a guy like me?

>>43342094
He meant that a random villager dude managed to woo a youkai girl which resulted in the shopkeeper. If he can do it, then why can't you?

>>43342217
They certainly take after their creator in that regard then.

>>43342329
You would get killed by a yokai when exploring the wilderness before you had a chance to meet anyone. Sorry anon.

>>43342365
Has Rinnosuke's parentage every been established in detail?
It might've just been that his human mom got knocked up by a youkai in a casual encounter that may or may not have been consensual.

>>43334650
Sanae

>>43346140
Gensokyo youkai are overwhelmingly female, so it was either a loving encounter or death by snu snu

>>43342329
if you're a guy like that I might be an interested 2hu uwu

>>43334650
Kogasa maybe? Atleast she'll be friendly. I also think I could get along with Keine but dating is something I haven't figured out how to do in real life, I'm not sure why It would be different in Gensokyo.

I took a touhou compatability test years ago and my highest matches were reimu and youmu so make of that what you will.

They're all lesbians so you've got no shot unless you've got a pussy and a cute outfit (with a hat, of course) to go along with it.

>>43334650
Rumia, but not for dating, segs, or anything romantic. Just an /out/-fag that'd probably get some mutual entertainment from shared interests.

>>43350582
is there not one 2who can turn me into a girl? or at least a cute futanari

>>43350582
Zun himself said there are no gays in gensokyo. You would be the first faggot to appear there.

>>43350587
But you wouldn't even be able to see her anon!

>>43350687
so in other words lots of horny girls

>>43334650
Realistically? Properly none. But if my dreams don't lie to me and have some sort of meaning then some of them atleast already know me. Then there might even be one or two who already like me to some degree.

>>43350836
Damn, I have only ever had one 2hu related dream and it was about one that I did not particularly care for.

>>43347483
I am, and I'd be interested too as long as you're a biological girl (female)

>>43350873
Hahaha!

>>43350880
W-what's that mean

>>43350889
The closest you're gonna get is a feminine boy

No biological females here

>>43350855
Who was it about? If you don't mind me asking.

Keine is the Touhou that reminds me most of my mother.

>>43350908
Koishi, complete with the power to make me forget her once she left my field of vision.

>>43350895
It's common knowledge that everyone on /jp/ is a cute magical girl!
Except vtumors and idolfags. Also diapperfags are all grown ass mens.

>>43350619
Maybe Yukari can manipulate the border between male and female? But good luck getting her to do what you want.

>>43351189
Why are you bringing that up?
Do you want to date your mother?

>>43353721
If my mom looks like Keine or any other oldhus, I would definitely do that.

>>43334650
Yuyuko is somewhat like me, not sure if it is a prerequisite to anything

>>43353915
If you looked like Keine I would fuck you

>>43355461
>me and this bombshell both like videogames
>I'm thinking I have a shot
post said to be honest, anon..

Probably Mamizou or Nitori according to my experience.

>>43334650
I had a wet dream about mokou once, does that count?

>>43350562
>touhou compatability test
You got the link?

>>43350562
I too am interested in this.

>>43358261
>>43358289
It's a personality test kind of thing

>>43358250
goodness the foreshortening on those hands...

>>43334650
Honestly I can think of a few. Marisa, Kogasa, Alice, and Sanae,
Reimu (my favorite) and probably one of the sages if I'm persistent enough. Though that might just be me being really optimistic.

>>43360042
heavily.

>>43342329
>>43346088
If you're under 20 wilderness you can still teleport out easily.

>>43360159
not so fast..

>>43350687
>Zun himself said there are no gays in gensokyo.
How new do (you) have to be to not know that quote was completely fake? It was written by AnimeMaru, a satire website whose articles only managed to trick idiots who don't really give a shit about anime/games and just believe whatever nonsense they hear (such as yourself.) And before you spew out anymore bullshit, make sure you at least type out ZUN correctly, with all caps.

>>43360042
For Marisa to accept someone in her life you'll first need to spend every hours of your existence learning magic until you're not a burdden for her.

You might be able to become friend with Kogasa but I doubt she'd want to have a more serious relationship with anyone.

I could work with Sanae, as she still often thinks like a regular outside world girl. You'll need the approbation of the two oher gods though.

Reimu would escort you out of Gensokyo immediately. If you somehow managed to convice her to stay at the shrine she'll be her usual lazy self everyday, making you do chores so whe can take it easy or leaving you alone so she can solve some incident, and you would just get in the way if she brought you along.

Okina would make you into one of her servants, and that's the best case scenario.

Kasen would lecture you about how you should go back to the outside world and find a woman there.

Yukari would just eat you (not in the good way). At least she might ask one of her shikigami to burry you in Muenzuka.

>>43360042
And I forgot about Alice, just as she might acty frendly at first but would then forget about you and go back to be obsessed with her dolls.

Maybe cirno, sanae, or youmu, although knowing that sanae and youmu serve powerful beings makes it harder because I'd need their approval even if they're easygoing

>>43360490
Thou'rt to bait responding.

>>43363057
You aren't honest enough, F

>>43358250
I also had a dream with Mokou once. Her, Keine and me were on a piece of unnaturally elevated terrain which was filled with penguins uptop. Our mission was helping them get down safely.

>>43334650
Honestly i'd get eaten alive long before any woman, real or fictional, becomes even remotely interested in someone like me. I'm a pretty unlikable piece of shit overall.

>>43334650
Patchouli. I read nonstop. And I'd have absolutely zero problem with that because I'm into big girls exclusively. And even if we're going with strict canon Patchouli she's still pretty cute, if not sexually arousing

>>43367194
>I'd have no problem with that
and somehow that means she'd be interested in you?

>>43367416
She'd like me because I read nonstop, just like her. I go on in the next sentence to say that I like the idea of Patchouli being interested in dating me because I'm into chubby girls, O Wise ESL.

>>43334650
Wriggle

>>43368004
go to a library and pick a girl up because you just so happen to like books too.

>>43368021
NTA but the random real-world girl you can find at your local public library is not at all comparable to the hundreds year old autistic shut-in magician from a fantasy pocket dimension who stays cooped up in her personal book dungeon every day.

>>43368208
>I can't get a normal girl
>but I can get an overpowered girl who's wiser beyond my age and knows magic
>her and I like books, that's why
the topic was to be realistic

>>43368226
Not him but I'm someone of a similar mindset. I don't try to get normal girls because I don't want normal girls. I want only my specific ideal and nothing less.

>>43368572

>>43360490
nta but saying they are all lesbians is equally stupid

>>43334650
None.

>>43358298
More like the lack of it in an overall poor drawing.

>>43334650
Patchouli, we're both pigs.

As a kid, I had a sleepwalking dream where the pokemon Tyranitar I had recently caught abandoned me for Team Rocket as I was desperately chasing after it and calling it's name.
Are there any Tyranitar-like hus that I can definitely say won't like me? Gotta cross of that...massive list of potential love interests after all...

>>43334650
I'm ugly as fuck and have nothing to offer as a bf, so none of them.

>>43334650
I will try to perform a meager feat of strength to draw the interest of Yuugi, fail miserably, and die.

>>43380993
at least you have decent taste.

>>43334650
All of them. Since nobody else is confident enough to approach them, they will be desperate enough to give me a chance!

>>43380993
This, but with Yuuka.

>>43334650
None, but I'd love to have chats with Akyuu. While my understanding of east Asian history and myths is poor, I do love listening to old people talk about their past. So I'd hope I could get along with her at the least.

>>43378867
I guess she would be the Tyranitar-hu.
Definitely the kind of woman who would make you believe she likes you then abandon you as soon as she doesn't need you anymore.

>>43380993
I know I can't impress her with strength so I will have to use the only option I have left to me: being an entertaining drunk.

>>43383097
Aw man, what a shame!
I totally could have snagged her if not for that gosh-darned prophecy!

>>43383097
I want to grab her by the tail, spin her around, then launch her into the mesosphere.

>>43334650
Realistically I dont think anyone would be romantically interested in me unless I was somehow special like them otherwise I would probably be sticking myself into their conversations which would make them hate me more.
The only one I can really think is probably Nitori but not romantically. Considering my job and current classes revolve around manufacturing and engineering she may want to bug me about what the outside worlds technology is like and we could talk about engineering and manufacturing. Maybe if i came to Gensokyo with my text books she would want to see them to see to either copy the Machines that are in my books (cnc routers, lathe machines, 3d printers, etc) anything the Kappas dont have she would try to make by going off the designs in those books. Now if she would find me romantically interesting depends on how much of my stuff improves the Kappas manufacturing because if it brings in a whole new industrial age for the kappas allowing them to make better machines then she would probably have me stick around to teach everyone how the machines work and act as a helping hand, probably take me out to dinner sometimes which would just be cucumbers and beer which doesn't sound to bad.

>>43387195
Teach them how to build a 5-axis and you are awarded with siring half-kappa

>>43334650
Realistically? None, not a single one.

>>43335650
What even makes you consider going out with 3DPD in the first place? Is this just a big humblebrag normalfag blogpost about how you're so alpha and friendzoning women? No one cares.

>>43394630
>No one cares.
I had actually forgotten I had made the post until someone cared to respond.
>What even makes you consider going out with 3DPD in the first place?
Mutual interest in each others futures, shared affection, and honestly being single my entire life has some practical side effects in terms of quality of life, so I'm willing to consider not being single.
>Is this just a big humblebrag normalfag blogpost about how you're so alpha and friendzoning women?
More just general discussion alongside the concept of idealized dating, which along with 2hu is very much the topic.
And alpha? I admit to being a virgin and I feel TERRIBLE if someone is interested in me but I'm unwilling to engage. I'm being genuine, not LARPing or trying to impress.

Oh and I made a comment about 2hu if you read further on.

>>43334650
These are ancient inhuman monsters
You'd have to be the very peak for one of them to show interest in a mortal
This is why the yandere hus thread was a thing, since the youkai being the grabby one was the only way

>>43334650
Any of them
whether or not a woman wants you is dependent on context and RNG. It has very little to do with your true character

>>43399798
I can attest to that. The women I have fallen for in the past have had little to nothing of the looks or personality I would normally say I want in a woman.

>>43401999
even you are below your own standards.
trips

>>43402082
Not him, but I know I am.

>>43402082
If you ever meet your own standards, you need to raise them.