/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I'm not an alp

I wanna sniff danuki breath!

>>42916472
Salamanders remain top tier waifus.

I love my lich wife!

>Be Anon, Be Over 30 and get "adopted" by a CC momster that drinks all of your beer and loves to bully you

>>42916524
I want a momster that calls me a 'cute young man' and makes me call her momma even though I'm almost 30!

pyrow kikimora

>>42916511
I'd love a salamander wife but I'm manlet so there's no way I'd beat her in a fight without magic or some tricky sneak play.

>>42916549
I think it's about time I pump her full of kids so I can get a break from all this mother nonsense.

>>42916583
Just find a shorstack Salamander.

You're gonna share right? She's only level 1, what could go wrong?

>>42916583
You don't need to beat Salamanders, just give em a good fight. Hell just having a really strong fighting spirit might be enough It's one of the reason they're better than lizardmen imo

>>42916620
Nothing could go wrong, she just needs some food. What's she going to do? Trick you and put a potent aphrodisiac in the food?

>>42916620
Yes, I always feed hungry lolis

>>42916580
What would she even be like?

>>42916620
>Share your stew with a level 1 wolfu
>She quickly runs off into the night after getting full
>Prepare to go to sleep for the night and suddenly there are dozens of eyes staring at you from the trees
Better hope you have more stew otherwise they will find a way to "eat" you this evening.

>>42916622
So to get a salamander you're supposed to give her the anime fight of her life.

>>42916640
>taming a wolfu pack through cooking
>becoming boss of the p'orc tribe through barbecue
>being a god in the eyes of every wendigo for giving out delicious stretchy meat
>seen as prime foxbait because of how good your fried tofu is

>>42916622
>You don't need to beat Salamanders
Reminds me of certain people who would actually get mad over the fact that you don't need to be someone special and even a Baph won't reject you if you desire her. I love my escapism fantasies, god bless KC.

>>42916650
Gotta get my shonen protagonist power-up right as it looks like I'm about to lose the fight (Asking a cupid to shoot her with an arrow)

>>42916665
I knew dumping those skill points into Wilderness Chef would pay off.

>>42916682
Staging?

>>42916524
>She's just a few years older than you
>Still spoils as if you were a kid
Don't call her mom or she'll get heart pupils.

>>42916666
Yeah it's dumb getting mad at that, although imma be honest I still can't imagine a demon or Lilim or high tier monster wanting me. I overthink everything though, hell I can't even make a waifu despite wanting to

>>42916472
Hebi Hebi

>>42916722
Ahhh! Hebi, there's a snake on your lap!

birdbath

>>42916650
Yeah basically, or just be interesting. I could see a sal getting interested in a lvl one farmer for having a strong fighting spirit

>>42916638
Wants to get in your pants AND clean up your room.

>>42916633
>10 years later
>Anon is now a dense harem protagonist who doesn't get why two dozen young adult monsters are all trying to marry him

>>42916776
Ew, adults.

>>42916705
You should make her into one.

>>42916583
throw dynamite at her

>>42916650
-desire lizard
-interact with lizard
-???
-makes lots of children with lizard
i've got it all planned out

>>42916638
kiki aura + pyrow aura

>>42916790
Hey, whatever works.

I want to go adventuring with a loli salamander so I can stare at her slutty pear-shaped body during the day and indulge in it at night. Doesn't the thought of a little brown lizard innocently wearing the lewdest armors just drive you nuts?

>>42916820
Ah yes, a normal merchant in old hagville

I don't want to sit in the hags lap, I want the hag to sit in MY lap and crush me with her ass

>>42916854
Fine, but only after you finish your kisses, young man!

>>42916869
>She lifts you up, smacks you against the wall, and kiss drains you until you can hardly move
>You then sit in her lap as she gently brushes your hair

Do not let your auntster or momster near alcohol

>>42916894
Anon, my aunt is a jinko with 20 levels in barbarian.
I don't think I could physically stop her.

>>42916672
>Chlamydiasaurus
Ew, gross!

>NEET Anon playing an MMO
>Forgets to turn on his voice changer
>All his monsters guildmates are now flirting with him
>He tries to get them to stop by self-deprecating
>Says that he has acne and is also balding
>"Succusex can fix your acne, sent you a DM."
>"Bald spots are cute! I want to kiss yours!"
>"I always dreamed of raping an insecure man."

>>42916941
>Playing a shooter, team is tied
>Been careful to only use text chat
>Last one alive, fumble a 1v1 and lose the round
>Other team wins
>All your teammates start raging in voice, calling you a virgin femcel loser
>Just say 'oh, sorry'
>They do a 180, start getting spammed with friend requests
>"Wow you're a guy that plays games? That's cool haha"
>"SEND NUDES"
>"Hey you should join our discord, we're a bunch of cool gals I promise!"
>"Girls he's not gonna fuck you just because you start complimenting him, he needs a real mamono to show him what he's missing out on"

>>42916941
He should have just turned it back on and claimed it was her brother.

>>42916869
reminder that all level-drain monsters are weak to reversal via their nipples

wight

>>42916984
>One of the friend requests is challenging you to a duel
>"Winner rapes the loser IRL"
>Attached picture of a chubby unkempt werecat
This is why you don't seek love online.

>>42917006
This made me imagine a scenario where a monster onee-san who isn't into incest sets up her brother to get gangraped by her NEET friends.
She'll know he's in loving, albeit desperate, hands.

>>42917075
So you can get your levels back if you drink their milk?

Anon is a slut for ___.

How is mge legal?

>>42917098
or even steal levels from them, yes

>>42917103
beans

>>42916984
I'd see speak only my other native tongue instead of english when saying sorry

>>42917103
Ears.

>>42917103
Tall girls

>>42917110
It's true

>>42916941
>"Succusex can fix your acne, sent you a DM."
after all these years of pain and humiliation my pizzaface has caused me - that's all she has to say to make me go balls deep inside her

>>42917006
>They keep asking about what he looks like and if they can have his number and saying that he sounds cute

gonna tell a cupid that love is just a chemical reaction in the brain and doesn't have any higher meaning

>>42916805
Man, if only you knew how much breath sniffing would go on if I was locked in a small house like that with a salamander

>>42917142
Monster pussy really changes a nigga

>>42916941
>"Sorry girls I'm only into human women"

>>42917140
I;m thinking about thos beans

>>42917095
>Not wanting to be raped and tom'd by a chubby neet werecat
>>42917095
Imagine how nice a cuddle pile of neet dorks would be

>>42917202
Prefer calling them paw pads

>>42917103
kikimora
dark mage
pyrow
lilim
kitsune
wolfgirls
uhhhhhhh

>>42917197
>You get dark mages pretending to be human with their witch hats poorly hidden in the background

>>42917226
No matter what you call them, they are for molesting.

>>42917241

>>42917202
she big

>>42917234
Are you saying that if a stranger pyrow offered you a quick fuck, doggystyle, raw, in a dark alleyway you'd accept without second thought?
What if she keeps calling you a stud and gives you her number for whenever you feel like blowing a load?
You wouldn't want to associate with such a gal.

>>42917103
Assertive aggressive affectionate monsters

>>42917273
i'd probably turn down doggystyle, but most other positions? yeah. absolutely

>>42917241
Hey, that's not playing fair. I'm taking them to the demon realm marriage court

Chef wife

>>42917318
>The courts find you guilty of being a cunt tease
>You're sentenced to marriage with the lonely desperate slightly chubby neet dark mage

>>42917311
Other standing positions are kinda intense though.
She'll have to balance on one leg while wrapping her arms around you and looking at you in the eyes the entire time.
That may too much for a quick fuck no strings attached.

>>42917273
>in a dark alleyway
Gross. We could at least find a motel.

>>42917321
What race is she??

>>42917345
i was more thinking of on-the-ground doggystyle
from behind up against a wall would definitely be fine

>>42917258
Perfect disguise
I do wonder how a dark mage would react to someone treating them like they're human

>>42917352
Nothing gross about it, you might very well meet your soul mate in the alley behind Carl's Jr.

>>42917395
I feel like all I'd find behind a Carl's Jr is an extra creepy bogie.

>>42917241
>>42917258
Disgusting. Sorry ladies, if you want to get me, the hat stays on during sex.

>>42917417
I figured she would hang around Jack in the crack.

>>42917395
Ultra casual or no, I'd at least like a woman with enough respect not to rape me there. I have a car, can we not use that? Cheap rooms aren't hard to find...

>>42917421
What about a dark mage who is all boisterous and haughty with her hat on, but becomes a weak and flustered mess with her hat off?
It'd be fun switching between the two.

>>42917451
When she is done raping you, you both can go enjoy some extra big ass fries. Fuck a hotel room.

>>42917417
>Extra creepy bogie
Where? Give me the creepy clussy now

>>42917467
Fine, but there better be a chocolate shake ready for me when I'm done bathing in the bathroom sink!

>>42917467
But you can get free waffles in the morning after being raped into the floor if you fuck in a hotel

>>42917454
Sounds like she's actually a hatter

>>42917506
And?

>>42917395
>>42917467
Do hounds just camp the parking lots of 24/7 food joints? Should I be worried about getting jumped after waffle house?

>>42917484
Xtra Large Chocolate Shake with more molecules. So much food that the entire thing will feed both you and your new wife.

>>42917514
>Waffle House
RIP your poor pelvis anon you will get gang raped inside let alone outside.

>>42917514
They do. It's why I get all of my food delivered by Boober Eats these days. It's so much safer.

>>42917467
Gimme a strongfat hellhound.
It invokes in me a mighty need.

>>42917506
hatters gonna hat

>>42917358
It's from chainsaw man, but I'd take a cute and proper multi arm chef dullahan

Mg that I'd constantly be picking up and just moving to another room because she's smol and can't do anything about it

>>42917626
Gargoyle. Her size shouldn't matter; you DO lift, right?

>>42917528
>Not realizing the delivery woman is probably spiking your food and drinks and waiting
Silly Anon, you're not safe from monsters just from using delivery

>>42917358
She's technically a devil

Lilim appreciation post, not enough lilim love in this thread

>>42917605
Say what you want about the manga, it has some pretty nice monster girl designs

>>42917684
I want to challenge Selene's mansion

>>42917569
It's embarrassing how fast I'd lose if I met a hatter. It'd be like getting stun locked to death, but she's only using loving words and compliments. By the time I would have calmed down, she'd be sitting naked on my lap and introducing me to all her tea party friends as her husband.

>>42917698
yeah, they are cute

>>42917684
Lilims are cuties, I wanna see more OC lilims!
Lilim greenworm

>>42917684
Need a lilim with bigger, softer thighs to trap me between them. Honestly, if it had to be a hag instead of a strong hound I'd take a thick and cuddly lilim.

>>42917626
Impie

The Winterstown Tourism Bureau would like to remind everyone it's Yeti season

This is why you never talk to strangers.

So you arrive in MGE but it is 1980s and you landed in Their miami, florida. In the middle of the biggest part of the religious criminal underworld and your broke, who do you side with? The rat Abbey Mafia, the hounds of heaven, the hells angels, the Confessers of Mara, the Mofukaza, the Deep ones, the Jungle Aposates , the Church of our milky lady, The golden pockets, or the Untote Nonnes

>>42917864
Trash

>>42917874
Go back to /vg/, retard.

>>42917879
I'm getting on a raft to Cuba.

>>42917879
Are the deep ones chaos monsters? If so, them

>>42917880
Explain

>>42917899
I hate Yetis and the picture looks gross.

>>42917896
hope you like dealing with iguna gals all day as well as commie Crocs

>>42917904
>I hate Yetis
That sounds like a personal problem bud

>Watching her climb up and sit on the top of walls and trees
>Having to climb up yourself to get her down

>>42917898
yes, but they are all deeply religious and you wont be able to transform into some many limbed horror until you convince the others to bow to the gang you chose

>>42917864
This is the fate of all monsters. You cannot stop it. You won't want to either

>>42917919
fuck off

>>42917911
My aggressive contrarianism will ensure that I do.

>>42917915
I'm not your buddy, friend!

>>42917919
Kill yourself.

>>42917932
Aw, sweet, I ejaculated enough for another pull in the daughter gacha!

>>42917919
Are you a masochist

>>42917898
>>42917921
Chaos Gang Unite!

>>42917932
She was easily best girl from the fallen maidens story

>>42917944
still gotta go to church tho, now its commie church tho

>About to hire a shoggoth
>Warning pops up
>Marrying a shoggoth leads to the following permanent changes:
>+100% resistance to cutting damage; -500 sanity; "All is shog" (de)buff
>Are you sure to continue Y/N?

>>42916549
'What do you mean you're an adult? You're not even a hundred years old yet, silly!'

>>42917921
Can I at least get cuddles from a shogbed?
>>42917973
Based, I still don't understand why wendigos aren't classified officially as chaos girls, guess it's cause they don't ally with the chaos gods. Same with gazer

>>42918003
Why would I ever be retarded enough to hire a shog?

>>42917998
That's fine, I'll just sit with the cool kids in the back, hacking up my lungs while trying to impress them by smoking monster cigars.

>>42918003
I don't know, I might just stick with a Kiki who makes meals that provide minor buffs to CON and STR.

>>42918003
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>42918007
yup
>>42918010
they will think you are unwell and you'll end up living with the strictest cuban nuns

>>42918012
What about a meaty grey kiki who gives you a major STR buff but has a thick accent that is sometimes hard to fully understand?

>>42917970
Bored until the game updates. Doubt she'll be in it though.

So what's the solution for Aphex Twin fans?

>>42917698
princi bestgirl. on the subject: spiders.

>>42918003
Think I'll interview potential staff instead

>>42918039
KC did say ever gril would be in it, doubt she'll be in a for awhile tho. I hope he does the alarune next

>>42918053
Too skittery looking

>>42918072
cruel...

>>42918077
gotta thicken/fluff em up else lizard brain checks out at "multiple long spindly thing moving"

>>42918068
>KC did say ever gril would be in it
Isn't he still doing yet even more CGs for holst?
He should go the MGQ route and have multiple artists each work on a group of monsters if he truly wants every species to be featured.

>>42918063
Give the destitute goblin a chance, she never worked as a maid but promises to try her hardest.
Food and shelter are all she needs, no payment required.

>>42918101
Yes, every girl will be in it but if you aren't into ghosts, werewolves, or holstaurs temper your expectations. It's possible but extremely unlikely he has thousands of cgs and dialogue done over the last two years and just needs to code it, but I'm getting the impression he just bashed his head against the rpgmaker wall the entire time.

>>42918009
>Not wanting to be one with your wife
What are you, gay?

>>42918038
Learning your wife--I mean maid's language sure seems romantic. Well, at least after the early part where you're utter shit at it.

>>42918119
I don't want to be a monsterboy.

>>42918008
I want to be adopted by an elf!

>>42918101
Agreed, I'm hoping he'll do something along that line as he expands MGE

>>42918108
I am legally required and morally obligated to ensure my staff are well paid and given plenty of PTO

>>42918116
Ghosts are good girls. I'd like a ghost.

>>42918003
Yeah it's fine, I'm only hiring her.

>>42918063
what would different monster maid interviews be like?

>>42918116
I'm inclined to believe that he done a ton of CG and dialogue since KC was such a quick worker back when his focus was Comiket releases.
On the other hand, we all know how getting patreon money tends to make even the most passionate devs into lazy leeches.

>>42918127
>A genie overhears you
>Your wish comes true in traditional genie style
>You get adopted by a dark elf
Good end?

>>42918131
>PTO
Pregnant Time Off?

>>42918145
I'm sure she's sweet when you get to know her

>>42918142
I mean that may have changed given he started focusing on legal shit, I think he's trying to expand first given we're getting a Chesh figurine

>>42918162
Oh she is nice especially during aftercare, just don't be disobedient

>>42918162
maternity leave is a separate thing, 12 months with extension it necessary

>>42918200
whoops meant for >>42918159

>>42918169
lmao

Something I never see used at all are recall beds, seriously they're useful as fuck. I am planning on using them in my Eros re-education camp story

>>42918210
I don't trust those beds.
I went into the captain of the guard's room because she invited me and found they just say yes on both sides!

>>42918140
probably want to do a good chunk of theme behind glass

>>42918200
What's PTO then?
Pinching Tease Orgasm?

>>42917358
She's the Falling Devil and is literally made of various human corpses.

>>42918077
Spooder

>>42918229
You knew what you were getting into anon, now go be a good bed warmer for the captain

>>42918329
>Big, buff Nerid panting and looking on with heart pupils.
I'd thought it was just a performance review.

>>42918279
Oh that's just real nice
Why the fuck is MGE and MGD the only settings without murder fucked up shit man

>>42918329
Bedwarmer is an important position in the extremist army!

>>42918342
Oh she'll be reviewing your performance alright

>>42918394
I wish I could be a bedwarmer for a pent up extremist

>>42918401
>"Good news Anon, I'm promoting you to husband! Your performance in patrolling my body was excellent!"
Meanwhile the local Marshal is sighing because she has to actually read and sign off on that 'promotion' of Patrolman Anon.

>>42918370
It's a fucking shonen manga you retarded assnigger why are you surprised people die in it?

She woke up 5 whole minutes ago and hubby STILL hasn't given her a single headpat or earrub

I want to fuck a faggot cat in her great big ass and then have her put a purple lipstick ring around the base of my cock with her plump faggot lips.

Three eyes are erotic

MGC Reality TV would the best
>Show about two species swapping lifestyles for a week
>Episode feature Anubis and Holst
>Anubis is extremely embarrassed during milking
>Keeps complaining that grazing is an extremely inefficient way of eating
>Holst can't into architecture and just lets the mummies build whatever
>Has never played a video game and tanks Anubis' ranked rating

>>42918370
Maybe because CSM is literally not a monster girl manga?

>>42918370
Because it's boring?

>>42918686
Go somewhere else, grimdark faggot.

>>42918370
to my memory SA was wholesome enough

>>42918700
statistics don't lie, sorry.

>>42918707
Love the mage kot
Best scene in the game was with the automaton picking you up

>>42918707
What is It? Does it contains femdom?

It's just a fact, most anons WILL be raped by bugs.

>>42918722
pronebone baphomet for me

>>42918725
succubus affection. i'd say it mostly skews towards soft femdom

>>42918707
Those're some HIPS.

>>42918747
Can you avoid femdom parts?

>>42918751
seems unlikely

>>42918771
Sad I liked those cat artwork, thanks for the intels

>>42918582
Anubis is gonna be real upset when she sees her score, I hope the holst doesn't mind getting mummy cursed

>>42918779
no, if remember it goes both ways, get knocked out, it happens to you, knock them out, you get to enjoy them.

>>42918528
That poor neglected wan.

>>42918725
Yep, soft femdom mostly. It doesn't have to be that way though because you dom monsters too, there's two types of H scenes, one where you dom, one where they dom. The only exception is the manticore

>>42918789
>>4291880
Ah, hope has been restored

anons, i m having so much in the badends bar, i dont drink but this milk im drinking is making me felel greatws for some reason

>>42918528
cute grumpy dog

>>42918582
>90 day fiancé is replaced with 30 second fiancé

>>42918734
I hope I get swarmed by devil bugs
Or attacked by a neet Oomukade, love them both

>>42918736
Oh shit she's really good too, I think the three girls I traveled with the most was mage kot, automaton, The kitsune I don't remember her name, and baphos. I liked their take on baphos a lot.
Did he make any other games?

>>42918557
Prepare for the mamono who is 3 and 1/3 times more erotic.

>>42918751
Yes, just play on easy and don't lose. The only boss that should really give you a lot of trouble will be the kitsune. Her ability is insanely overpowered the game actually becomes very easy when you get it

>>42916472

>>42918822
there's fobs which is dead and contains some amount of questionable content and there's SA2 and some horror-styled game in development

>>42918814
>Infamous episode where manlet anon gets rape corrected by a much younger jinko

>>42918557
>>42918830
Complimenting a monster's evil gaze is one way to fast-track a marriage.

>>42918814
>Episode where the most property damage was made when a wurm hooked up with simple minded thrill seeker

Yandere Wolves.

>>42918837
Heh, imagine losing to Fox.

>>42918875
>episode is filmed in a Cloverfield style documentary
>wurm took her husband before they could get all the cameras set up
>entire thing is just the camera crew desperately trying to catch up to her as they traverse the path of destruction through the city she left in her wake
>shaky camera and heavy breathing of the camerawoman can be heard throughout

What do we think of old lady monsters?

>>42918926
Made for young human cock.

>>42918936
Beware of this fox, she eats boys.

Would you really lose anything by going through the portals?
>Magitech makes up for the lack of modern technology
>Demonic food tastes better than anything we have
>Healing magic outdoes modern medicine
I can only think of video games, but who needs those when you can go on your very own adventure.

>>42918926
made for breeding and making them feel like young school girls

>>42918926
>think Yuuka is hot and would like the idea of looking at her angry face while she's forced to ride my into the dirt thanks to DE
>know she'd probably turn into a fucking dryad or something and get turned off
damn

>>42918969
not to brag or anything but i do have 1 friend

>>42918926
>young maiden
i'd get them so mad by then telling them t prove it by attempting the jack pose, then hearing two snaps

>>42918969
I think the only thing I'd fear losing is maybe friends and just a fear of the unknown in general, imagine getting rejected by every MG you ask out, I'd have a breakdown or something

>>42919016
remember praying works over there dummy and there is always single undead no matter what

>>42918979
What's wrong with dryads?

>>42919032
Tree bark hurts and I don't like girls that are literally rooted to one spot.

>>42919032
They're birtches

>>42919032
Being stuck in one place It's kind of scary, It's a big commitment

>>42919023
True true, I'd probably just end up going to Eros cult or something, give me time to figure out what I want. Always wanted to be a priest or missionary before I lost faith

>>42918210
Huh, I had forgotten all about these. Can't seem to bring it up. Any idea where in the books it is?

>>42919055
Bad puns will attract aggressive bogies anon

>>42919032
I don't want to be associated with the resident shitposter, but the thought of living with a pine dryad and getting access to the pine smell 24/7 would be something I would consider getting tree'd over. And pine is also a "soft" wood, ifyouknowwhati'msayin

Why do monsters keep asking me to take pictures of myself with a pillow that says yes in their language?

>>42919044
it's not all that bad. the tree itself is like a house and you can visit the other trees too. it's not mentioned if this extends to outside the forest but presumably if you're powerful enough you can go further

>>42919080
I know it's in world guide 3: Sabbath grimoire. It added a bunch of magic stuff.

>>42918970
Young school girls are made for making them feel like young school girls

>>42919091
Jokes on her, I have to go play a 10pm hockey game in a few minutes.

>>42919100
I don't want a girl that doesn't have legs. It's why I also plan to stay incredibly far from open waters if those portals opened.

>>42918969
I can't think of anything I'd lose, no.

I lust for hounds

>>42918969
I actually have a good relationship with my family.

>>42919199
Those are some tight shorts

>>42919177
i've just realized black harpies are just edgy tengus.

>>42919199
Licking the charcoal wolf's abs.

>>42919208
I hate considering this when I’m trying to discern actually wifeable material from my favorite mgs. Mindflayer’s super hot to me, but it’d be a wild ride explaining to my loved ones how I’m gonna be spending most of my life as a crotch squid. That’s why my wife choices are more in the realm of yetis and trolls

Picking on a Lich for being short!

>>42919317
>Anon was shortly raped by a Lich that could barely reach his chest after calling her as flat as she is short

>>42919238
>harpies
That's an angel.

>>42919290
Funny that you mention Troll, because I feel my mom would become a troll with how much she does cooking all the time or maybe a Kiki while I would be married to a Wendigo and be coat husbando most of the time, but I think my mother would understand since it’s still me underneath the coat.

>>42919340
Fuck off.

>>42919324
No way, there's no way a shorty could do that. She'd struggle just to straddle you because of how much tinier she is! And she'd be so self conscious of being made fun of that she'd probably just end up crying like the dork she is!

>>42919332
well, i never said she was an harpy. just talking about black wings.

The face of pure ecstasy.

>>42919340
What would Florida Man get up to in the monster realm?

Any fic that focus on Druella you guys can link?

>>42919332
Angels are just pretentious birds

feed your dogs

>>42916478
denial won't change anything

Post shorties who are more on the scary side.
Sick of how all the little mamono are infantilized. Need me a tiny woman who looks like she could hurt me.

>>42916478
I believe in you, Alp-chan!
Now fight! Fight for everlasting peace!

>A mysterious, lone stranger walks into town early one morning
>And all tension surrounding the newcomer is immediately lost when Anon tries rubbing her ears without permission
It was supposed to be a serious and dramatic samurai film but the inclusion of a rub-happy Anon turns it into a comedic parody

>>42919565
I don't think I can afford to feed a stomach that big

>>42919603
Just look at her flat chest and pretend she's a really tall loli.

I will allow an Automaton to assume total control over my life.

>>42919565
Breeding takes a lot of energy, so make sure your wan has enough.

>>42919642
Don't do it man, she'll turn you into a pod person designed to produce semen like a factory and make you eat bug burgers.

>>42919624
>monster knight arrives in a town to claim it for the demon lord
>runs away flustered after anon yells out "Wow! What a cutie!"
anon unknowingly saving the day once again

>>42919644
I suggest keeping lots of hamburgers and fried chicken to make sure that both you and your wan are at peak energy to breed.

>>42919674
>stoic meat mountain dark knight
>whole town has hidden
>Anon walks out of his home, unaware
>still half asleep
>glances at dark knight
>"Wow, cute tummy"
>goes into the diner to get breakfast
>knight slowly turns and walks away without changing expressions
>lays in bed for several hours replaying the moment in her head, savoring the memory of when her maidenly charms were finally recognized

>>42919565
MY SPAGHET

Which monsters hate bad puns the most?

>>42919624
Would bully about her having three swords

>>42919703
probably cu shit

>>42919722
>call her a dork and tell her that she only has two hands
>her tails draw two of the swords
>draws the last one with her hand
>tells you that the other hand is a backup
Not gonna lie fellas, I like the actually cool and reticent badass mamono just as much as the dorks

>>42916472

>>42919668
Automaton-chan wouldn't do that, she will take care of me because she is far more intelligent and knows what's best for me. I trust her with my life! I love Automaton-chan enough to forfeit all earthly possessions to her! I believe she has a soul!

>>42919737
That would be cool, but I would still bully her. I will always bully monsters!

>>42916638
Cleaning with Benefits

>>42919775
Dude I'm telling you, you are making a mistake man, she will hook you up to tubes that feed dopamine and serotonin to your brain and ensnare your dick in a pump. You will live an almost soulless, sterile chemical existence if you give a robot full control.

>>42919787
I'm sorry, Anon. I'm not talking about a normal monster. No matter how much you try, no matter what you do to fluster her, she will remain completely calm and in control. You'll perform more and more outlandish and embarrassing acts, only to be stonewalled. Then, one day, you'll wake up in her bed only to see her expression change for the first time. Into a smirk

>>42917454
>be Anon
>in MGC bar
>haughty DarkMage makes a pickup
>drags Anon out into alley
>drops to knees for a quick BJ
>knocks her hat off going down
>hatless, Anon puts his hands on her hair
>DorkMage goes full pocketspaghetti

>>42919675
Time for my family tree to bloat with hotdogs

>>42919838
>not keeping the hat on
NGMI. Poor girl will eventually wisp.

>>42919737
>Oh yeah well why don’t you show me what else those swords can grab
And then you do the double arm crotch chop motion. There you go, instant win.

>>42919858
an unpleasant sight to eyes as always

Look out she's got a gun!

>>42919842

>>42919833
i like this post

id like to apologize

>>42919933
Alpology accepted!

>>42919737
That hand is special. Her sword hand is calloused and stiff from years of training. She has sworn to never use her other hand for combat. She says it's a spare, but the truth is just too embarrassing for her to admit. She's worried a man wouldn't love her if she fully took the path of a warrior. She thinks that scars and muscles would scare any man away. Her "spare" hand is actually the hand of a maiden. A soft delicate hand that longs for the touch of a lover. It's the last bit of femininity that she clings to in hope that one day a man will come along and take her hand into his own.

>>42919842
>Anon's family tree starts to look like the Nile delta after getting jumped by a pack of hounds
>needs a spreadsheet of 2gb to keep track of all his grandkids
>country gives him a special tax cut so that he can afford Christmas every year
>ruling lilim doesn't mind since he had enough kids to levy an entire army

>>42919092
pine smell is good. did a pinene liquid extraction in lab this morning and i still stink like pine needles lol

>>42919961
I'm gonna tell her to use that open hand for another sword because more swords = more cool

>>42919956
That alp is too thin

>>42916472

>>42919974
>ywn suck sap straight from the tap of a sugar maple dryad

>>42919996
Chad-like order hero alping for you after having a big crush on you for the longest time.

what was your waifu doing in 1618?

>>42920027
Evil stuff
Rain stuff

>>42919999
How much does she charge for a touch?

>>42920027
giving milk and food to the needy as well as praying

>>42920057
Is this the rare apsara waifu?

>>42920027
My lady was a lonely one,
For n'er was she free -
locked away beneath the earth
she hungered like the sea.
She always was a portly girl,
though rarely did she eat -
but to crack apart the bones of God
and suck off all the meat.

>>42916472

>>42920065
i sure hope there's no wacky hijinks in the mirror dimension

>>42920072
What has the Sabbath done this time, these fusion experiments are getting out of hand.

>>42920065
the way her fingers are poised to snuff the candle and the way the mirror looks to be cracking (presumably sealing any chance of escape) really sells the atmosphere

>>42920077
I entertain myself with thoughts of dating antediluvian evils from the kingdoms behind the glass.
They're really nice, once you get to know them. Very protective.

>>42920072
>portals open
>get a lich wife
>tell her about CRISPR
>she does a bit of her own research
>huge machines keep being delivered to your house
>disappears into the basement for most of the day, only emerging to cuddle with you at night
>comes out one afternoon and says she has "something cool" to show you
>brings this thing out
>ask her why she made some strange chimera creature in the basement
>wife confidently informs you that this was just a trial run, and she would start making the real hybrids later
>also tells you not to touch her since she can spit aphrodisiac venom up to thirty meters and has a capricious disposition
>the thing has broken out of the house by dinner time
>lich is completely unbothered by the disappearance of her proto-daughter-experiment, only complains about the draft even though she always floats around naked

>>42920107
>get a lich wife
>tell her about CRISPR
that was a mistake!

Thoughts on magical equipment...for husbandos? What gear would your waifu make you?

>>42920102
It's one of my favorite bogie pics, need a scary clown wife to kidnap me

This is your blind date for the evening.
She enjoys cooking, lighthearted comedies, reading, and high impact sexual violence. Her name is Anastasia and she's been looking forward to your date all week.

What if there was a Bogie named Candlejack? Wouldn't that b

I want to sex a horse. Fuck the yakuza.

>>42920138
it didn't age well with the captcha

>>42920117
I already got magical equipment with my coat, one of the perks of marrying a chaos monster.

>>42920108
It seemed innocuous at the moment. She was asking about human inventions and I thought she might get a kick out of it. Now I'm on a first name basis with four different ethics watchdog groups and the lilim governor is threating to deport us both back to the mamono world since her soldiers can't keep my wife's mystery meat creations in check and my wife refuses to stop making them. She insists that every one she makes will catch the last one that escaped, but now we have a cascading ecological catastrophe since the monsters she releases never bother to catch their bigger sisters, they just go off to find a husband. She's also financially ruined us. If we weren't already being evicted by the government since our house has too many holes to be considered tenable, I would be worried about defaulting on the mortgage. She drained everything we had and took out loans to pay for her mad science projects and to source an ungodly amount of meat to make the buggers out of. When I asked her about it, she insisted that she could cook up some kind of creeping coin/automaton hybrid to make shitcoins that could keep us going. Demon Lord help me, I'm at my wit's end here.

>>42920139
A Ryu who doesn't understand how to actually yakuzi has been dispatched.

I've always wanted to be insane

>>42920157
I know I probably shouldn’t responded but I think you got the wrong thread.

>>42919458
This man speaks the truth, angels don't exist. Just lying harpies, trying to sell religion.

>>42920188
https://litter.catbox.moe/k9qt6o.png

>>42920117
Every item she makes me also has a magical tracker on it.

I wanna FUCK Angels!

>>42920204
too heavy

>>42920117
She'd make me a Tengu feather cloak or coat that would allow me to be very agile and glide.

>>42920211
Perfect body for sleeping on after filling her womb with lots of human seed to make Nephilims.

>>42920204
Your daughters would all be 10 feet tall, for I’ve heard if a man has sex with a angel they will have giant angelic daughters.

>>42920117
Only thing I could think of is an enchanted ring or collar

>>42920204
I want to corrupt angels!

>>42920061
wurm nun, shes very old she did the same for 1000000 years

>>42920117
>dragon wife makes you armor out of her old scales
>wife is really happy and clingy
>for some reason all the single monsters keep giving you angry looks
>realize you've accidentally become one of those mushy couples with matching outfits

I love my android wife

>>42920117
i'd go for the landsknecht set in retrowave colors, carry a jesters cap, a wurm scale cleaver, and a jabber kiss tattoo

you are organic / oyster-throated / plum-hearted / and lined / yes / with metal / i will take you into pieces / (in a manner of speaking) / to keep you close / to kiss you with / well / i suppose you would call it / a mouth

>>42920280
this is why i love you / stay close / i will keep you / safe / i will run / redundant systems / just so i am / warm enough / to hold you / fragile thing

Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.
Instead, remember not to check your Automaton's recordings.
A large number of them seem to track your junk

>>42920321
>Anon_Sleeping_(65971).mp4

>>42920321
she's just keeping track of your preferences!

>Be on a boat in the middle of the bay
>Go to your private cabin to get a good nights sleep
>You cannot sleep with enemies nearby.

>>42920379
Enemies? She's the ships resident rodent catcher.

>>42920336
belly rubs...

>>42920379
just push her back into the sea

I have reached true eldritchdom after getting it on with the monsters of the great abyss and I love it.

This thread is proof that automatons are very good girls, and would make excellent and loving wives, mothers, etc. for any Anon who wanted them.

>>42920379
The :3 means they're trustworthy.

I WILL allow and Automaton to assume direct control over my life and NOBODY can stop me. I will plug into her matrix.

>>42920466
>tfw no ai gf

>>42920466
It always made me wonder if Automatons robotize you instead of giving you the normal incubization, of course it’s still a type of incubization when you get down to it just with a robotization twist where you become something like a Android from Dragon Ball Z.

>>42920494
ideally it's something silly like manamo-machines and not stroggification

>>42920379
>pirate cat "plunders" merchant Anon
>gets access to his finances since they're married now
>treats his work as a merchant vessel like her own personal cruise ship
>sleeping in a hammock or sunning herself when she isn't busy pigging out on fresh-caught fish the cook fried up for her
>still worth it to keep her around since she can single-handedly fend off pirate ships if she's sufficiently angry and drunk

>a highschool boy is approached by a group of Pyrows

>>42920538
[Gum popping intensifies]

>POV: You are about to go on a date with a Dragonia Arch Bishop

>>42920548
>be teacher at a human-mamono mixed school
>try to keep an eye out for the guys, know they're not graduating high school as bachelors so you work with the cupid principal to subtly push couples together
>have a shy kid who sits in the back of your class
>never really talks much, only one or two friends
>do your best to look out for him
>have designs to marry him off to a unicorn in the grade above him
>see him at the end of a hall one day just after school let out
>he's surrounded by pyrows
>oh Eros no
>he's already stammering
>know you have just seconds to act
>sprint for him
>pyrows hear you coming
>pull out their vapes (85% nicotine) and fill the hall with smog
>your lungs burn and your heartrate peaks at 160 bpm, but you fight through the haze for your student
>hands hit the wall where he was standing
>you were too late
>collapse to the ground lamenting your failure, beset by the knowledge that in 15 years another generation of demon brats will emerge like cicadas to harvest more innocent nerds

>>42920580
>Human-mamono mixed school
Actual nightmare scenario. Unironically. School sucks, I know for a fact the younger monster girls would be really mean. Hellhounds stuffing nerds in lockers would be a regular thing.

>>42920528
Lazy kot, she's going to get some pudge on her belly if she isn't careful.