/jp/ - Otaku Culture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm59BHVOH9Q

who's more fertile

>>42574357
her familiar

Junko is so hot. And a good mom

>>42574454
Yeah... That would be the life

>loves her son so much she starts an interdimensional galactic level war
What a woman.

I want to sex Shinki and Shinki jr.

She offers you $700 to do her. She is aware she probably doesn't need to offer money but is so afraid of rejection that she can't take any chances. What do you do?

>>42574968
i'll do it to not get on suwakos bad side. i feel it's best not to irritate curse goddess

>>42574968
cum inside her

>>42574968
take the money and buy cases of booze to drink with her after the deed is done

>>42574062
Adding Yuugi to the list of hags is certainly a hot take.

>>42574062
i wonder what they talk about? young boys and how hot they are? how they would get asked out by all the princes in their youth? or is it just idle gossip and discussing the lastest episodes of daily soaps? maybe selling each other MLM schemes and weight loss product that is guaranteed to make men fall for them?

>>42574062
Which one would brag the most if they got a boyfriend?

>>42578497
Yuugi or Yuuka or Yukari

>>42578509
not yuuka or yukari
yuuka would percieve it as a symptom of weakness or submission
if anything she would tell others she's found a boytoy or something
yukari is too smug to say anything on the topic
yuugi would not mind telling the truth

>>42578684
Yuugi trying to convince the others that her boyfriend can beat up their boyfriend!

Which one of them takes the bait that results in two dudes who probably don't even want to fight beating the hell out of each other in a field while a bunch of older women cheer?

>>42578716
Sounds about right

>>42578684
Yukari would hold her tongue until the smug bragging yuyuko or kanako drove her up a wall, then she'd bust out the voyageristic photo book she had of you complete with selfies she took of you two in bed together.
There would be many, many photos of you in various states of undress, including some before you were together as you pleasure yourself when you thought you were alone

>>42583376
Yukari making the gathering awkward! Everyone just watching her presentation in silence before trying to laugh it off as a joke! Yukari realizing that she let her power level show and also awkwardly laughing it off as a joke!

>>42578684
>yuuka would percieve it as a symptom of weakness or submission
>if anything she would tell others she's found a boytoy or something
Come on anon, we all know that's just an act for image purposes and that yuuka acts super lovey dovey in private

>>42583499
Sure, but that's still the image she would probably prefer to portray in public, even in a gathering of hags.

>>42583449
>Yukari realizing that she let her power level show
Rookie mistake Yukari

>>42583449
Yukari desperately canning the rest of 2 hour long KappaPoint presentation!
Spilling the Ramen out of her pockets because she set it to auto and can't figure out how to work the computer so it continually shows increasing lewd and private slides of (you)!
Running out of room crying in embarrassment!
The entire meeting ruined!

>>42583626
Only Seiga would do that on a fucking door, what a dork.
How will she ever seduce a young man and get a boyfriend now?

>>42583531
It's all fun and games until everyone sees the "love you darling" written on the food you made for her

>>42574161
Best hag

>>42583626
I grab her by the ankles and yank her out.

>>42583745
no need to be a savage

>>42583618
Ran was too busy having her tails huffed and fluffed by (you) to help her with technology.

>>42583751
Gensokyo has weird fashion trends.

>>42584449
I don't understand fashion

Isn't Patchouli over 100 years old?

>>42583662
Or when you show up a bit early to pick her up and start flirting in front of her friends acting all lovey dovey

>>42584436
Ran isn't invited to the meetings cause Yukari still considers her a young maiden

>>42591369
Patchy isn't in the club because she doesn't like going out, she's still rather youthful too

>>42591420
I'm almost 35 and she's over 100, that's hot to me

>>42583751
Why is every hermit like this? Tempting the object of their affection like this? Why can't they just confess normally?

HOT YOUKAI HAGS IN YOUR AREA
>>>CLICK HERE<<<
TO START CHATTING NOW

>>42574062
why are not Mokou or Kaguya in the old hags club?

>>42594310
Yukari being adorable

>>42594784
washboards
not very tall
lack hora hora energy
Kaguya's kinda bratty
Mokou does her own thing

Not forgetting to post this charming old woman!!

>>42595012
Aunt Mamizou...

>>42595012
Mamizou is cute!

>>42595040
Having drinks with my auntie figure!

>>42595063
I'd rather drink with her as a lovely lady

>>42595012
>charming

>>42595777
She is clearly too drunk to be out and about. I will deliver her safely home.

>>42595777
And this /jp/sies and gentlemen, is a tanuki. My my, how disgraceful. Why not look up to someone who can keep up appearances and trust, like a kitsune?

>>42595813
No thanks Ran is a single mother.

>>42595777
Charming enough to me.

>>42595813
How about I make both of them my wives? They can balance out each others' worst aspects.

Haghus are the best...

>>42594310
I want to teach Yukari how to use the Internet!

>>42574062
All these grannies are tired and need a kind young man to massage their feet.

Which way will it be?

>>42597021
Letty ironically looks the warmest and most inviting to me even if she is probably cold to the touch. Curling up with a cold soft pillow does sound nice on a hellish summer day though.

>>42577997
They spend their time knitting, talking about their lovely grandchildren, and gossiping about how that scandalous wench Keine had her ankles on full display.

>>42597107
Impossible, none of them have boyfriends much less husbands and kids

So which one is in the most need of a househusband?

>>42597164
Walk into one of their meetings pretending you're lost and offhandedly comment about you're looking for a wife and see what happens

>>42597164
All of them, equally as much

>>42597180
Surely some of them are incapable of looking after themselves or their homes, while some others are the opposite

>>42597180
Letty needs someone to take care of her home for her while she hibernates through the warmer months!

>>42597203
Yukari, Byakuran, Yuugi, Yuyuko, and Kanako are all useless at homemaking.

>>42597221
I don't know, doesn't Yuugi own/live in a hot spring hotel now? Even if she doesn't actually maintain the place herself I'm sure she has employees that do.

>>42597235
Yuugi wouldn't know how to clean or cook well at all and would need (you) to do all that for her.
The best she can do is change her clothes and polish her horn

>>42597114
Yukari has Chen, Yuyuko has Youmu, Eirin has Kaguya, and Okina has Cirno and Flandre. They don't need to give birth to be grannies, anon.

>>42597221
I'll take Kanako then

>>42597214

And make her some breakfast when she wakes up!

>>42597244
That's the beauty of living in a hotel as its owner. There are people who do those things for you.

>>42597296
I mean yeah, all of those hus have someone that does the cooking and cleaning for you. None of them have (you) to do it with love however

>>42597274
The first day of winter is always a massive feast day in the Whiterock household.

>>42597316
Indeed, and every feast is so filling that it justifies a good nap afterwards. Letty is more than eager to have anyone be her small spoon. Sometimes it's the fairies she welcomes inside in exchange for the hearty meal she offers, but today, it'll be you.

>>42597316
Letty finds an excuse for any meal to be a massive feast... Maybe just give her a salad...

>>42597522
>Maybe just give her a salad...
This. Then we figure a diet plan for her and a daily exercise routine.

>>42597178
Anon that's like throwing a piece of meat into a lions den
They'll eat him alive!

Which of these ladies is more desperate to reach motherhood

>>42597522
Letty's figured it out! If she includes a salad in the feast, then it will counteract all the calories gained from the rest of the meals in the feast! Good thinking!

Pick one or two

>>42598238
Yuuka and Kanako. Yukari and Okina have given up already, with Yukari building an AI to be her “daughter” and Okina relying on brainwashing and kidnapping random kids, Youmu is Yuyuko’s biological (grand)daughter, Eirin is busily smothering Kaguya, Byakuren’s vanity makes her desperate to be seen as a “big sister” type, and Yuugi is looking for a worthy mate first and foremost.
Yuuka, on the other hand, strongly resents how no male dares approach her, which only makes her angrier, and Kanako is super jealous of Suwako and throws herself into her work in an attempt to bury those feelings, which doesn’t really work.

>>42598466
>"daughter"
Please do not use quotations to devalue Ran.
Also why are you slandering Okina? Sure she's a bit touchy-feely, and creepy, but she's not THAT bad.
>Youmu is Yuyuko’s biological (grand)daughter
Where the hell did you get that from?
>Byakuren’s vanity
Miko why are you slandering innocent young girls?

>>42598413
I love that taka video

>>42598388
Maybe a slim Letty is never to be...

>>42598530
He's getting really good with animation, hoping and waiting more stuff with Byakuren in biker suit

>>42598509
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree that Ran deserves better than being treated as some kind of surrogate daughter to some old spinster. However, the reality of the situation is that Yukari clearly created her to fill up a hole in her hag heart.
And Okina is constantly trying to “recruit” innocent human children, fairies, and vampires. She clearly only has bad intentions with them.
And you would realize Yuyuko and Youmu’s relationship if you read between the lines a little. It’s painfully obvious that Youki only fled because he finally realized that his relationship with his mother was actually highly inappropriate.
You need to open your eyes and see these hags for the vile creatures they are, anon. They have no morals, only unsatisfied lust.

Silence, everyone. The hag meeting is about to commence!

>>42598977
Imagine how many times you'd be groped if you were the waiter for this pervy group of ladies

>>42599439
Groped and slapped. I believe.. too much I know this for experience

>>42599690
tell us more

>>42598413
>hijiri
>w:107

why did they make her fat

>>42598977
yukari 100% would stealthily take half naked pictures of you using her gaps without you noticing

>>42599836
Yukari isn't as perverted as Okina, don't slander her! I trust Yukari!

>>42599806
Used to work as a barman. I don't consider myself that pretty but sometimes a few ladies, either milf or really old, used to grope or slap my ass instead of the tip. Didn't say anything back because "the customer is always right, respect the customer" and stuff like that.
End of the story.

>>42599836
Yukari would then present it to her group as you sit next to her with teary eyes not knowing she'd share such personal photos you thought she took in confidence

>>42595777
This charms me

>>42599439
I volunteer!

Okina is the kind of person who would make out with you in front of all her fellow hags just to make them jealous!

>>42600616
And then Yukari will steal you away from her because she will be jealous

>>42600650
All out hag war over anon...

>>42597253
Yukari has reimu

>>42600718
Hags fighting over who gets the anon! Grabbing at him from all sides!
Yukari pulling on your right arm!
Okina yanking on your left one!
Kaneko has your left leg!
Yuyuko tugs at your right one!
Yuuka holds on to you by the peni-

these young ladies are begging for someone to put a bun in their oven

and a young human outsider is a prime candidate for a baker

>>42602184
chaste under-the-sheets-clothes-on cuddling with yukari

>>42602502
honestly that sounds really nice
i just wanna hold my hag wife in a loving embrace as we fall asleep

You've been cordially invited to attend the hag springs

>>42604834
But I'm not an old hag

>>42604834
Getting "accidentally" groped and fondled constantly till you pop an erection!

>>42599836
After the conversation turns saucy at the meeting shed gap your dick there and start playing with it in front of all the other hags to make them jealous

>>42604834
But they'll see my manboobs and small willy! ;-;

>>42604834
wtf are these blobs

>>42609722
Having a small pp is a requirement for getting invited to the hag springs.

older woman impregnation

>>42609757
Oh, well I'll happily let them toy with me then

>>42604871
Hags making fun of you for being aroused!
Teasingly asking you which of them made you erect!

>>42609962
damn old women sleeping in my room after drinking too much!
didnt even clean!
correction is needed

>>42609940
yorihime's too young to be in this thread
...right?

>>42610110
she's even more a hag then yukari
its impressive actually

>>42609940
Knock her up!

>>42574968
I decline the money and take her on a nice date to the Garden of the Sun.

>>42574968
>that artist
What's up with him an clowns?

>>42609940
I don't like it when you people post this picture of my hime.

>>42610261
hime pantsu!

>>42610179
not a bad move but the correct move would be taking the money and spending it on a nice gift for Kanako

>>42610320
I don’t like taking money.

>>42610334
Its about flattering her, you don't actually have to use it
All is fair in love and war

>>42610261
Mr. Ugayafukiaezu no Mikoto, I'll be honest, you're as powerless as dynasty of your descendants is nowadays. Were it otherwise, the offending post wouldn't exist already, yet here we are, posting pantyshots of your hime while you can only fume at us puny humans from Takamagahara.

Kanako is NOT a hag. Look at how young and hip she is!!

>>42610643
Kanako-sama's feet!

>>42611319
I want to kiss and massage all the 2hu hag feet

>>42611331
Imagine being all the hags smothering you with their feet haha

I want to leave this here but the other day I had a dream about Byakuren. It was mainly about how
>she was hiding around with my trying to avoid people for some reason so i had to keep tagging along with her,
>later on she tells me why and she was afraid that people were mad at her for fighting people and beating up other 2hus in what I think is her bringing up the fighting games
>suddenly a montage starts playing her her brutely beating every character and im talking about thrown against the walls, pile driving them to the ground, i think one was just that one bane meme of breaking someones back etc
>I then tried to console her a bit letting her know its ok and i doubt anyones really that upset anyways
>rest of the dream was me taking her to get some ice cream because it would calm her down a bit then walk her back to her temple
>then the rest of the dream was me realizing it was a dream and not waking up so i had to think of a way to connect it to one of my other dreams to wake up

its very scuffed remembering but i think we were also in like highschool idk my dream was weird but what I do know is this is one of the first dreams in 15 years I had where I didnt forget it when I woke up and I didnt wake up scared because it was another Nightmare because I either get nothing or nightmares.
Thanks dream Byakuren I dont see her as a hag but as a hot older sister which I think is fine, I hope I find someone as pretty and passionate about her line of work just like her.

>>42609722
they have boobs too and no willies at all, so you need not fear being seen as inadequate

>>42598790
>And you would realize Yuyuko and Youmu’s relationship if you read between the lines a little. It’s painfully obvious that Youki only fled because he finally realized that his relationship with his mother was actually highly inappropriate.
Please elaborate. I'm curious.

>>42616821
It's pretty simple, anon. Just think about it a little.
Why would Youki suddenly leave without ever telling anyone were he went, never contacting anyone afterwards, before he could even finish Youmu's training?
Why is Youmu so incredibly naive and easy to manipulate, even though she should be older than most of the main cast? Why does she never do anything but gardening and random chores, even though she's supposed to serve as Yuyuko's sword instructor?
The answer is obvious; Yuyuko has been grooming the Konpaku clan for centuries, forcing them to satisfy her sexually. Naturally, this would lead to pregnancy on occasion, so part of the Konpaku clan is actually descended from her.

The reason Youki vanished completely is because he never actually left. When he finally came to realize the truth about Yuyuko, he naturally sought to protect Youmu, which led Yuyuko to pull a Bluebeard and get rid of him. After all, she has the power to lead anyone to their deaths, who could ever hope to stop her?
So now Youmu is entirely under Yuyuko's control, and she naively believes that Youki just ditched her completely, as a "test" of Youmu's own skills. The poor girl is probably forced to do unspeakable things to the evil hag every night, not realizing that such a situation isn't normal at all.
Yuyuko probably plans to set up an arranged marriage for Youmu eventually, only to kill her unfortunate husband as soon as Youmu bears a child, ensuring that this chain of abuse will continue on through the generations forever.

You cannot ever trust a hag, anon. They are all truly despicable creatures.

>>42616759
I'm confused! Why are they sucking on pacifiers?!

>>42619852
That's a cute hag!

>>42616759
the turns have tabled

mating press

>>42622049
repeatedly

>>42622049
Which one? You can only pick one.

>>42622049
Reverse mating pressed by Letty

>>42623490
>You can only pick one.
why
they're all so hot and fertile looking

>>42624302
You couldn't handle that heavy a weight

>>42591420
> she doesn't like going out
She's just like me

>>42597021
The baku.

>>42624877
Wanna bet?

>>42627255

>>42574968
I'd pay to do her. Kanako-sama is just too fucking sexy. Going on dates before and after with her would also be nice.

>>42611319
I wish I were Suwako in this image

>>42627198
An extremely scary scenario.

>>42624866
That's just how it works bro. Go on, pick.

>>42624866
you should pick by the most fertile, the choice is easy after that.

>>42612088
Do you actually think about her at all or was she basically a random choice that your dream decided to throw at you?

>>42627997
imagine being suwako haha

>>42628022
I'd be running towards them

>>42599857
I work at an amusement park. For Halloween they had me at a little cart passing out candy to the guests. An older woman in cosplay of some female character from Star Wars kept hugging me and my coworker got his ass grabbed multiple times by another woman. I told them to move along because there are people in line.

>>42599690
I definitely think idealizations of being groped by the MILFhus are a lot better in fantasy than the reality of being groped by old hags wanting to siphon your youth.

>>42630197
Yes. Real hags have to do that because they no longer have their looks to rely on.

>Come sit with me anon~

>>42630333
Cute and friendly tanuki! How could I refuse?

>>42629242
You won't be able to walk straight for at least a week, dude.

>>42628461
No, i dont think I was thinking about her that night at all. But I do think shes very pretty I just feel bad about thinking any naughty thoughts of her because of her beliefs. Maybe it was my dreams blue balling me or something but I do feel happy about the dream happening since I never have good dreams.

>>42630333

>>42632775
I can only think of one 2hu related dream I had and it was about Koishi who I never think about.

>>42619797
hot

>>42628294
that's fucked up
Eirin and Ran are absolute wife material and would probably be very devoted at all times whilst being happy about you complimenting their meals and spending time with You

Yuuka and Kanako look like the type where they'd be very tsun and blushy but would eventually melt and be completely lovey dovey wanting a kiss from You at any and all times

Yuyuko and Yukari look like they'd be always acting all smug but go down the second they're on the receiving end of your affections almost seemingly unable to hold eye contact without getting all red when they're not acting playful

Hijiri looks the most motherly type of them all to me, constantly trying to hold you, giving you lap pillows and speculating of what you two will do once you get married

none of them have ever experienced love or a relationship before

idk in terms of the sex though so i cant draw a conclusion
i do wanna sex all of them tho

>>42628579
would be so crazy ahahahahahhhh

>>42637347
Bastard Suwako! Leave my hag alone!

>>42637347
haha funne suwako

unprotected intercourse with (way) older women

>please keep going
>i am a sinful priest after all

>>42639948
I must do the right thing and help her overcome her sinful nature by putting a chastity belt on her.

>>42639948
i must help her overcome her sinful nature by only having sex for the purpose of procreation AFTER marriage

>>42640112
Monks can't get married!

>>42640122
true love finds a way

>>42604834
I absolutely adore Yohane's drawings of the Old Maids' Alliance

Older ladies not sure if they can win over your heart so they team up so they can at least get a taste of a man

>>42630512
So?

>>42643231
Would they take a fat manlet?

Strip poker with the hags

>>42646276
They will pulverize your hips with endless cowgirl position mating!

>>42646491
When can we get started?

>>42642385
Why are they naked tho?

Ara, I sure could use a nice foot massage anon~

marrying auntie

>>42648211
Buying Mamizou a foot massage machine!

What would happen if I absolutely pelt a haghu with affection?
What if I clung to one and told her I love her over and over?

>>42649498
It'll make you happy, but also a little sad.

>>42649498
it will briefly make them extremely happy
then cause an immense amount of agony once they remember you're mortal and will die on them in an eyeblink

>>42649049
I want a hug auntie!

>>42649539
Hourai liver/elixir, I'm pretty sure all haghu's are able to acquire these one way or another.

>>42649949
Some can literally just make you immortal without it
Yukari can alter the barrier of your lifespan or some nonsense like that.
Kanako is a god and friends with a creator god who can surely cease your aging.
Yuyuko will have your soul after death and could probably use her connections to make sure you have a body again or just have you die in the appropriate way when the time comes.
Byakuran is a mixed bag but its possible she can use the same magic on you she used to extend her own life
Seiga knows a thing or two about life extension
Mamizou has connections and at least the ability to barter for your immortality or at least steal it
Eirin, enough said

Any other ones will likely squirrel you away and try to youkaify you

>>42652006
Becoming Kanako's eternal servant to avoid having your immortality revoked!

i like to think all of them are absolutely desperate to get married and build a family

>>42653579
my favorite headcanon is your pic.
The hags are either the kind of girl to see any form of basic human kindness as love and fall for you quickly or they're normal like Mamizou.
There is no in between

>>42653579
>falling for niceness
She is literally me

>>42649095
Gonna stick a sign on myself that says free foot massage machine.

>>42653621

>>42653579

>>42655566
post the rest

i NEED to impregnate her

>>42574968
i do the drunken sex with her (the money is spent on booze)

>>42594310
dumb hag
she can just ask reimu for her email

>>42595834
i can make her a non single biological mother

>>42610355
why is she looking at me like that...

A chocolately Valentine's kiss with Kanako

>>42652006
Life with Yuuka was a pleasant one. You didn't expect being married to a youkai to be safe, but it seemed to work out. Yuuka rarely had visitors, but when any did, such as that elusive gap hag, they would badger her with all kinds of questions about marrying a human. "What does he do all day?" "How often do you do the things couples do?" "How big is it really?" "He's a human, how are you going to keep him alive for eternity?" Yuuka seemed to brush all questions aside.

One day, years later (though none could tell from your mysteriously young appearance), you were reading the Bunbunmaru. Yuuka mostly used them in her garden, but you would occasionally check them to read local events. Yuuka never liked you leaving her domain much. Curiously, you found yourself in the newspaper, mentioned by name!

"Hey Yuuka, it looks like I'm dead!"

"Eh?"

"Yup, right here in the obituary, my name. I'm dead, haha!"

"Is that so~"

You chuckled, it must've been an error or a mix up. How strange! Then, a knock came to the door. Yuuka acknowledged it and headed over, she always told you she wanted to answer the door. She was the master of the house after all, it was only appropriate. When she answered it though, you could hear bickering between her and the person there. "Yes, I know I-Well he's a human and he's-Look, I just need to-It doesn't matter, that's not how it works-" The bickering eventually seemed to result in an ear-piercing explosion, courtesy of Yuuka's fabled Master Spark. It was a technique you had only seen a few times in your life, and you knew everytime to get down to the floor and cover your eyes and ears. After some time had passed, you stood up and looked out the window to see a twin-tailed shinigami covered in bruises, saying she wasn't paid enough for this, and other comments.

Life in Gensokyo sure was strange, wasn't it?

>>42669315
Yuuka leaving on a "buisness trip" only to find out later through the bunbunmaru that she left to the underworld to beat up all the yama and shinigami to keep them from bother you!

>>42669315
Such a caring wife

>>42671072
The best

>>42664525
>>42669025
I want to give Kanako a big smooch~

>>42674912
Kissing Kanako!

i like thinking all of these old ladies havent even had their first kiss at their old age

>>42675202
I-Imagine that

>>42675202
Not if I have anything to say about it!

>>42594310

>>42669331
Best sunflower

>>42669315
Yuuka is very creative at getting you immortality

>>42681579

>>42663646
You have the correct desire

>>42681638
I'll sell her tails as scarfs.

>>42675202
I will take their first time
And first kiss
In that order

>>42687106
I buy em all.