/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>42115168
Christmas is just like any other day for me. I just spend the day at home playing videogames by myself.

>>42115168
No motivation nor hype to play anything during these holidays. Barely any online friends to talk to anymore. Also studying very far away from home and planes are expensive, so I will spend my end of year holidays alone in my appartment like last year. But hey it could be worse? Happy holidays everyone.

>>42115290

I'm also studying abroad and you have either the choice of not caring about Christmas or doing something with retarded expats that luckily aren't americans.

>>42115592
Most other students are coming back home, especially expats. Say, I love the joker edit and miku, and I know it's not something we do on the fourchan but I'm kinda desperate for frens so do you mind if I drop my discord for you to add me so we can keep talking ?

>>42115673

I did the miku drawings for my pixiv (nasty stuff in general though, suicidal Miku is the softest drawing I have) and sorry my fren but I don't have a discord account.

>>42115756
Wow you did this ? It looks very nice, can you link your pixiv ?

>>42115813

Sure ! But be warned my topics are one third traps hardcore feminisation, one third futa and one third violence. With fat asses. The fat asses are a must. If it wasn't for a tropical ant infestation in my computer I would draw a lot more right now.

https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/31823410

>>42115908
Can you make one with Beavis and Butthead

>>42115908
Three things that I love !

>>42115943

I started accepting commissions recently but... hardcore feminisation of beavis and butthead ?

>>42115952

I started drawing because as a degenerate I wanted to draw extreme stuff, and then realized that it's impossible to treat your own art as what someone else drew because you only see the technical aspect behind it. Pain desu.

Also I did pixel art in the past but no one cares about them so I stopped since they are so time consuming. Same for animation sadly. That and clip studio paint dreadful monetization for animation features.

fucking disgusting thread and posters

>>42117697

Asking how people feel during Christmas is indeed pig disgusting.

Bumpies
I am fucked btw

>>42118364

How so anon ?

>>42118364
Same here

>>42118364
>>42126074
How?

Childhood ruined by 2008, adulthood ruined by 2020. Finished schools, and not been able to get a job in 2 years now. Living alone in a studio and I know absolutely nobody local.
I think the only things keeping me sane is the generous neetbux and the hope of eventually getting a job. I have the skills to make it but fucking nobody hires juniors in this economy. So much time wasted though.

But things WILL get better.

Last Christmas I watched Adventure Time on a comfy sofa with my gf then we went for a walk in the centre of the city while it was very snowy but warm anyway, she did some decorations in the house but I dont give a shit and just enjoying the free time.

>>42115168
I'll live, I think.

I'm deported to egypt due to high euro energy cost, forced to spend christmas with my family in a 2 room apartment and our personal arab slave barely speaking anything foreign.
Worst part is I got no gifts for anyone and the dinner table always forces me in a bearhug.
Being home alone doing nothing seems like a blessing.

te tsu

https://youtu.be/Q6zQajZ1_7U

I took a vacation to hang out with my brother while stomaching high cost low quality food and beers while playing videogames all day.

>>42115168
Gonna spend it with my family

Pretty good. Merry Christmas to all my jaypee friends!!

>>42115168
Got my GED and my driver's license yesterday
things are starting to look up

I'm going to spend Christmas alone.

I can't help but think I'm on the bad timeline, where in the other timeline I'm spending it with a friend or a girlfriend, if I had done something different.

Right about now is where the credits scene would start and a text appears asking: "do you want to try again?"

Christmas alone; I'm house-sitting for my parents while they are in Florida. Gonna drink and chat with friends online but thats it.

Losing sanity....

>>42130540
You're not alone when you're on /jp/

>>42130640
Thank you fren

I'm stuck at uni with no friends this christmas it sucks

im broke

Bumpies

I usually visit my parents, and my brother and sister do the same if their schedule allows.
This Christmas is a special one, as it might be our last easily spent together. My parents gift to me this year is a house in Osaka, as I said I’d enjoy living there.
Pic is the layout.
So I hope to be doing okay.

Okay, been better. Spent the remainder of cash I had set aside for crap on fumos. The agony of 'tfw no fluffy tail' isn't going away.

I have no idea where i want to go in life or where life is taking me. I am a mechanical engineering student and rejected a job yday. I tend not to take major decisions, and i just keep my head down and keep working, letting things happen instead of doing something by myself

It's been my darkest hour for almost a year and I don't see it letting up anytime soon.

I decided to go back to college after dropping out starting this January. I owe a lot of it because of encouragement from my mother.
I'm going to see her tomorrow which I'm happy for. Don't give up

I got approved for ebt. 280 bucks a month for food, snackies, and goodies of all sorts. my neetbux got a significant boost this year, I have ACP paying for my cell phone bill, discounted bus pass, and ebt can score me discounted metro train passes and discounted amazon prime sub. for once things are going well for me, I'm going into the new year with a positive fresh start.

Alone this Christmas. I'm working abroad in Nipland and it felt like to much of a hassle to fly out and then back a week later. I'd rather use the break to travel here. I normally just shuffle back to my apartment at night after work. The first and only other time I got a break was during Obon.

>>42144545
What was it about the job that made you turn it down? Do you have any other options?

>>42147796
They said it was a "BPO associate" job which we weren't notified of in the first email. It was a semi-technical job that would have required me to travel anywhere in the country (this is not the USA) but wouldn't really carry much value if i put it in my resume a few years later. I could not skip the interview for reasons but i told them i want to get into electronics. They rejected me right then and there but just asked me a few more questions just to be nice.
>options
If i am working a shit job i might as well do it in my hometown. There's a guy i know he will have me roam around the industry shop floor with vernier calipers or some shit for quality testing. That's the last resort. If before that i land a worthwhile job which will set me up on the right path I'll take it.
I do need to figure out my end game soon though.
Also Merry Xmas anon :)

I'm forced to spend christmas with my family again,i'm so fucking tired of them.Another day full of yelling,shit-eating and singing carols to relatives instead of relaxing at home.I wish i could spend christmas alone for once,without having to worry about my father entering my room and roaring at me for not staying outside in the mud for hours to help him install his shitty decorations,or having to listen to my mother and retarded cousins yelling and crying around the house all day.
Thank god i will eventually escape this shithole.Merry Christmas /jp/.

I'm doing shit and I just want to sleep all day. NGMI.

>>42115168
>>42115221
>>42115290
NOTHING BUT JOY FOR ALL THE WORLD

Met the guy of my dreams. Found out he was anything but. Spent a lot of time by myself. Alone with my records at night. And playing my stupid guitar, and now it's fun and I'm playing a small cafe show tomorrow.

Feeling really good about the next year and looking forward to seeing my little bros reaction to my gifts!

This year was...something but I've been through worse. Shout to all the trueheads still trudging thru on this sorry excuse for a netscape. Your passions for all things literally no else cares about is inspiring for more people than you may think! I have found my fairly public special interest has helped blossom the very same interest into those I wouldn't have expected and the next gen e-dwellers.

Thank you!

>>42150536
Have sex with him

I used to hang out here a lot some ten years back. I'm getting my PhD now. Don't give up /jp/, love you guys

メリークリスマス！

>>42151612
Hi Rika

I don't even care about the holidays. I'm just at a point in my life where I will soon be surpassing an old friend of mine in age. This period in life will mark 10 years since I met him, and now I'm left realizing how much has changed since then.

He had such a huge impact on my life and I only knew him for two and some years.

Here's to another 10 years.

>>42126559
I completely lost interest in everything in life
i failed uni too... probably gonna drop out

>>42115168
Rest in peace Ian Curtis (23).

>>42130235
>You killed not the the men idea
What did he mean by this?

I hope this year I can finally work up the courage to move to Gensokyo.

>>42152277
Uh oh anon

>>42118364
The effects on the site today really add to this picture.

>>42150536
Kill him so the perfect version that only exists in your mind is the only one that is real.

>>42150536
>Met the guy of my dreams. Found out he was anything but
Being gay often sounds as difficult as not being gay.
>Alone with my records at night
Post or describe turntable setup.

>>42152692
I was just using records to mean albums. I'm all digital myself. I just go through my audio interphase to some studio monitors.

>>42152988
cute dunkard

bump

I have no real friends.
I'm surrounded by people who are friends with each other.
I live with my parents. I'm 27.
I work in my hometown as a shelf stocker where everyone can see.
Never kissed a girl.
I try to keep a smile on but it's getting harder.

>>42153067
What would you do to him

>>42163075
Is there anything that could make you feel better

>>42163075
Sounds brutal. I suppose the silver lining there is that the shame of your job is reduced by the fact that no one knows you well enough to look down on you at a personal level. Anonymity is often taken for granted but I probably don't have to tell you that as someone who posts on this site.

I have no real friends either, though in my case it's by choice. I do however have some good online friends that I enjoy chatting with when the mood strikes me and I feel as though that is a good middle ground between physical isolation and mental stimulation. Maybe you can find yourself online friends too, though that is likely easier said than done.

>>42163263
Losing weight, but food is such a comfort.

>>42163299
Yeah but every now and again i'll lock eyes with someone I used to know. I was so chipper back in school I can see the shock in their eyes when they see me. I usually hide in the bathroom for a while. I dont have online friends, I try to make them but i'm just too unextraordinary.

>>42163715
>I try to make them but i'm just too unextraordinary.

I'm sure you're just as interesting as anyone else. Most people are pretty basic, which is why particularly interesting or insane people stand out. They are exceptions, not rules.

>>42163783
I try to think that, I do try to keep conversations going but when they're all ended and the person never speaks to me again I just can't help but feel alone.

>>42164250
Well think of it this way. A lot of people who try to make friends online are just as awkward as you are about it. Maybe those people also think you didn't find them interesting because you didn't maintain contact with them. You just need to be assertive enough to reach out and maintain the contact you began. Just be smart about it and try to recognize when you are clearly not wanted without overthinking it and seeing signs that aren't there.

>>42163075
>I live with my parents. I'm 27.
I'm going to be 32 in a few days. That's not that big of a deal. Do you get along with your parents?\
>Never kissed a girl.
I did when I was like 15 and didn't particularly care for it. Overrated in my opinion. I'm happier with my 2d waifu.

>>42164576
>I did when I w
Kill yourself bitch I hope you die dumb bastard fucking whore i hope you die

>>42164592
I'm not trying to brag about it, I wanted her to leave me alone but I was under alot of pressure back then by family and friends/peers to try to get into 3dpd relationshits, I was just a kid and didn't have the courage to say I didn't like it.

>>42164592
HEY, where's your christmas spirit man???
It's the christmas time where all the /jp/ anons get together in anonhood and have lovely times and you're being a loonie

>>42163075
I'm pretty much in the exact same situation, except I'm turning 29 in a few days. I could try saying something to cheer you up but I know very well those things don't get better with time. It's like being stuck in a loop, unable to change anything. What keeps me going at this point is collecting picture of cute girls from boorus, listening to music, watching some animes, playing some games and knowing I'm not alone in this. But my biggest fear is what I'm going to do once my parents won't be there anymore as I'm going to be trully alone.

Fuck Mario Party.

I went with some random spanish people to drink soju freezing my ass off in the middle of a park in Asia. Found it mildly funny that only in Asia a bunch of retarded migrants drunk in a public park are all PhD students.

>>42132165
Holy shit...

29 and I finished degree in chemical engineering back in may. I can't find a job because no experience and a marijuana charge. Looks like I'm going to be a NEET forever.

>>42167040
maybe dropping out wasn't such a bad idea afterall...

>>42167062
For real. STEM is a meme. This degree has made me less employable. If I apply for entry level jobs in my field I'm underqualified because of lack of experience, but if I apply for entry level chemist lab tech or intern jobs I'm overqualified because I have a degree. It's schrodinger's worthless degree where I am both over and underqualified for any position until I receive the rejection notice.

Lately I have been bothered by the fact I feel like generally most people like me, but they don't like LIKE me. Just to get things out of the way, I am physically fit, am stylish and practice great hygiene, and I don't have crippling anxiety to the extent of attracting scorn or disrespect. It's just that I tend to be the guy most people have a positive or neutral positive opinion of initially but not someone any ones to really hang or routinely out of their way to converse. Feels like people I work with will initiate a greeting every once in a while to I guess remind me they are fine with my company but that's about as far as they are willing to go.

I am usually the guy who broken people naturally gravitate to and people just pour me their biggest fears and struggles with little input from myself. When im with complete normalfags, I'll be the guy they share stories and experiences with initially but I rarely am able to add much substance to their diatribes aside from wisdom and empathy I have gathered through my own trials, tribulations, and anguish. They appreciate my easygoing nature but I guess they realize I'm not much more than a confessional booth or they feel I'm 2-dimensional and go on to speak to those around me, with feeling.

Basically im the guy who people have 4-hour conversations with but I am really just nodding my head, listening attentively, not sayiny all too much in comparison. I am not someone who is desperate for validation, but being not too far from 30 I am greatly concerned there's something fundamental I am lacking in connecting to others. I'm 100 percent sure I'm not an autist, since I have zero issues reading people or empathizing with anyone, and at my best days, I can come across as very charismatic for a period. Maybe this is all just because most of my social adjusting of the last couple of years has come from the workplace and people aren't there to be friends. Autists feeling like they are in the uncanny valley to NT's is deeply relatable to me. Supervisors, managers, and just leaders in general have no issue connecting with me, and they even enjoy when I toss breadcrumbs of my dork powerlevel into our conversations but everyone else...it's like I'm this amiable ghost.

>>42167973
>Basically im the guy who people have 4-hour conversations with but I am really just nodding my head, listening attentively, not sayiny all too much in comparison

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Some people might even prefer that. They might not always want to admit it but many people just want to be able to dump whatever is on their mind without having to deal with the listener's problems in turn. I am somewhat biased though since I like listening to people's problems. I suppose this is a big problem for you, who seems to want to form actual connections with people.


>being not too far from 30 I am greatly concerned there's something fundamental I am lacking in connecting to others. I am greatly concerned there's something fundamental I am lacking in connecting to others.

You aren't lacking anything. That is just the nature of adult friendships. That is why it is such a common joke that the most miraculous thing about Jesus was that he had 12 close friends at the age of 30. In many cases, if you didn't make your friends before entering the workforce then chances are that it is going to stay that way for the rest of your life. At most you might have a work friend but your interactions end when your shift ends. The people you worked with probably had similar experiences themselves. I would say that it will only get harder for you with each passing year but there might be an alternative for you, especially in this more digitized age we are in. I know that for a sociable person like you it may not be the same but maybe making online friends is something to look into. I told some other anon in the thread the same but it's a good middle ground between being alone and having real friends. I dare say it is a good compromise if you truly yearn for a connection but can't find it in real life for whatever reason.

>>42115168
My last living relative died last month. Honestly IDK where to go from here. I was his caretaker full-time, and now I don't even know how to begin to start living independently. It's so quiet here now... but I have to find a way to keep living... don't I? I don't want to worry about my own survival anymore... Maybe this time next year, I'll have happy things to say. I hope all of you are well, and stay safe, alright?

>>42167973
I'm somewhat similar the you. A lot of it is what >>42168113 said:
>That is just the nature of adult friendships.

If you want to have deeper relationships, have deeper conversations. People aren't going to LIKE like you unless you show interest in them and things they like. Follow up with people who tell you their problems. Try and find common interests and start the relationship from there. From my experience, single people (regardless of age) are the most open and willing to start something new. Then it's non-single people without children, though if you want the relationship to last outside of work, you might have to be ready to hangout with the coworker and their partner. If someone has a family (wife/husband and dependent children) then they'll most likely never care about you. That's not to say you can't form meaningful relationships with them outside of work, but you'll be seeing a lot of their family, you'll have to get along with everyone, and the family will always take priority over the relationship with you.

Forever a thrown out of society.wav

At least there is art.

Low expectations for the future improves my emotions.

https://on.soundcloud.com/QT6PJEgmmoAGdVpu6

genki

>>42167040
I was unemployed then worked fast food for a year after graduating BS Microbiology.

genki

>>42171681
Lost my virginity at 39 years old this year. Not kissless hugless, but now I know. I am not bitter, not at all. Totally fine with my life. Low expectations..

genki

>>42171724
I was about to say damn you're old then I remembered that I am 30 and have been here since 2012. The flow of time sure is merciless.

>>42172162
Time actually has been very kind to me. I spent most if not all of my time out of the sun, and also with the help of /fa/ years prior, I still maintain a comparatively youthful appearance today. Some people my age look like they are 50, and may as well be: they got their life on track early and are “over the hill” with life. Not me! Forever alone means also that our heart is still eager and intensely in bloom.

I am okay being oji-san, I do not deny that. I actually prefer to socialize with people older and more wise than I am myself. It is more of a rich experience than the alternative (which would just result in mutual trolling).

Went to the doctor right before Christmas because I had trouble reading text despite being very close to a screen and they found out my pupils are two different sizes and I can't look into the mirror anymore without feeling disgusting and ashamed because I look like some edgy anime character with this. Had lots of eye pain and they also found out my reaction to light is basically not existent so every time I look at my screen my eye burns even more. Nobody has any fucking idea where this comes from so the doctor has suggested that this might be a sign of an incoming stroke or brain tumor. They will tell me early next year what their findings are.
Fuck everything this dragged my mental health down so much because I can not watch anything anymore without being in extreme pain. I am this close to just ask them to remove my eye forever and go the chuuni way.
Sorry needed to let this out idk how to cope with this and stay strong

>>42172458
What you have is most likely treatable; in the meantime get some OTC eye drops to help with the dryness. Don't get anything that "removes redness", it makes it worse -- I use these ones for my own eye issues. Things can always get better, so don't count out your recovery before you've even got a diagnosis, anon. My father had Bell's Palsy for many years, and for a time he had to manually blink his eye with his hand because his eyelid didn't work. Over time, he regained its use, and he lived for decades past the diagnosis. Be kind to yourself, and consider an eyepatch for a time -- cover your bad eye and rely on the one that works for now. (Get a few and rotate them through the wash, it's more hygienic.) I am hoping for the best for you, anon.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074ZHK96H

>>42172458
That sounds like what I have. Except for the different pupil sizes. I can't look at a computer screen for more than 30 minutes before getting a sharp pain in one of my eyes and some cloudiness. The doctor has no idea what's wrong. I switched to using a projector which doesn't bother me at all. Maybe you can try that if it's an option.

>>42172162
I heard that life seems to pass more quickly as you get older. Is that true? I'll become 30 sooner than I might expect.

t. 20

>>42146524
ProNEET is to go full caveman diet and eat only meat and plants. Do you lift? Both have worked very welll for me.

>>42150536
Mhm.. I hear you, my heart got slaughtered this year too..

>>42167154
>schrodinger’s
https://soundcloud.com/thrillvector/schroedingers-cat-escapes-the
really though, I wouldn’t have not gotten a STEM degree

>>42172575
Absolutely. Time just gets faster the older I get, even if it has been 2020 for almost three years now.

>>42172575
30 to 40 can be like 20 to 25. Time doubles, maybe from just being more accustomed to the passing of days rather than missing out on anything. Emotions are still just as sharp, but strong emotions can catch one off guard. I totally didn’t expect to be heart ravaged after all the mindfulnesses training.

>>42172458
Sunglasses while looking at the monitor?

https://soundcloud.com/thrillvector/ghost-in-the-grid-flac

NEET thread holiday trauma bonding

some things never change

stay warm /jp/easy~

https://soundcloud.com/thrillvector/cassini-ocean

>>42172575
32
I think it's more like you look back on your past and it feels just like yesterday.
What bothers me is thinking I can jump back into my old routines then realizing "oh shit, 20 years have passed, that thing is gone now nobody cares about it."

I haven't led a very smart life. Can't drink anymore due to liver issues. It will be a slow, short, boring life.
I guess I'm just glad to have a roof over my head.
Happy Holidays everyone.

>>42172858
>>42172696
>>42172657
I love you guys, Stay strong, friends.

>>42172427
I suppose the only thing I am really going to miss as I get older is the loss of potential. I am a romantic at heart and I always have been, but I have also believe that love is a young man's game. I have a high bar for what I consider to be worthy for me, even if that bar is unreasonably high for what I deserve. Despite that, I still cherish that ideal above what is realistic. The thing I think I dread the most, thinking about it more as of late, is losing that. I want to believe that I am still capable of attaining that, but even that ideal is fading away with each passing year. I am not looking forward to that day when I am no longer worthy of my own ideal but I suppose I will cross that bridge when i get to it.

Bump

>>42173561
You are absolutely correct. I feel the same sentiment: potential. The lines of my face changed when you wrote that. It’s a powerful emotion to think being ProNEET isn’t the best approach to life, and the shackles of dontforgetyouarehereforever.wav are actually binding in a way that doesn’t achieve double multiples. There are so many anime seasons I spent with dating you over ramen instead of being comfy with a 3dpd.

Could have, should have, would have does not affect me much. I think more so that others could have with and how I do NEET with me, but they fell to societal trappings that left them with salt cracker instead of pure caviar. They missed me as much as I missed them. Now I go out with a mission to pull people gently my way, rather than to expect them to gravitate towards what they do not yet understand: me, the fine things in life, and my feathered friends.

https://soundcloud.com/thrillvector/blur

>>42168995
I’ve been thinking about you, and this event Anon. I can only say that the emotions of losing that family member are only beginning to form. Several years later, I mourn the loss of my patriarch with a fire that was but only a cinder when he left; and I wield that flame with the intention of style, grace, wealth and taste. So too this I believe how you should honor that person to whom they were to you. Honor and pride, Anon. Tears in the rain~

https://soundcloud.com/thrillvector/g-l-o-w

>>42178812
Thanks anon. I appreciate that, and I'm sorry, as well, for your loss.

>>42168113
>>42171550
Thanks a great deal for these replies. I feel a little less like an inter-dimensional bodysnatcher reading these, in earnest.

>>42152246
jesus jesus japanesus

>>42130581
Your parents didn't take you with them?

>>42179508
No, Trevor didn’t invite they / them.

genki

Rewatched Christmas Vacation with the family and ate sushi.
Bretty gud desu.

I went to work on Christmas Eve and after work I visited my aunt. On Christmas Day I had my childhood friend over and we played some Donkey Kong on his Wii, yesterday I went to visit some other part of the family. Busy times all around, I didn't get to meet my parents this year.

>>42171681
My heart goes out to microbiology majors. My minors are in math, chemistry, and biology and the biology jobs I looked at have shit pay. There were jobs asking for a master's that paid $20 an hour. It's sad too because biology has so much potential in industry and the technology is just so utilized.

I fucked up real bad this semester. If everything goes absolutely perfectly starting next semester I will be 26 graduating with a degree in engineering management. I hope I can get some sort of sales role for a manufacturer at that point.

>>42180336
My suggestion is to find a study group if you don't have one. That helped me during my degree.

>>42180607
I have a study group but theyre all bums, just like me.

>>42172881
Thanks anon.

>>42167973
Remember to rest anon. Giving love to people but not receiving any will tire the heart out. I know how it can feel.

>>42167973
this is literally me. i am tired of this and only 21. i tend not to let this get to me too much. i don't listen to people too much these days. just hang out with them, have tea, some banter etc. and fuck off. no deep conversations. they don't think particularly high of me but this works.

I feel pretty worthless. Sitting here on my computer consuming stuff that other people have made, learning nothing, not growing as a person. I wish I had a talent or special skill or hobby like these people do. Would be nice. But I can't. I have no talent, I am super forgetful and lazy, and nothing seems interesting or fun for me anymore. I have no job, no degree, nothing, and don't even know what direction to go in. I don't know what to do with myself. I wish I had something that defined me as a person, my "thing". But I don't. I am just a bottom feeding parasite. I wish I could contribute but I just take and never give. Because I have nothing to give.

>>42186885
I might be biased since I am such a person myself but I don't think there's anything wrong with simply existing. Some people just aren't meant to do anything. They have no interest in anything productive and have no skills or talents to speak of. They are tourists in life, just here to see the sights.

I'm not going to pretend this is a healthy mindset to have. Becoming content with stagnation is not a good thing but I dare say it's a decent cope. It's much easier to blame some inherent programming for your state than take responsibility for it and try to change. It's ultimately up to you to decide whether the uphill struggle that is self improvement is worth it or not. I am the way that I am because I decided it wasn't at an all too young age but you don't have to be.

I wouldn't even begin to know what kind of advice offer you to help you when it comes to self improvement without more information though. If you want to share more then you can but in the mean time I am just offering my personal cope for you to consider.

>>42187043
>I might be biased since I am such a person myself but I don't think there's anything wrong with simply existing. Some people just aren't meant to do anything.
I do think that. I really dislike idleness, and I have been taught growing up that you have to make something of yourself. Parents, school, everyone told me that. I have an ambitious personality which makes it more painful when they aren't met, which they never have.
I do not want to be one of those people. I am not sure if I am one of those people deep down, and my rejection of it is just trying to cope with having a nature I dislike, but I don't know. Being a person like that would be a horrible fate for someone like me.
>If you want to share more then you can but in the mean time I am just offering my personal cope for you to consider.
I reject it because it's quite incompatible with my ingrained values, but thanks for posting it anyway.
Here's more information:
I am in my mid 20s and rapidly aging. I am a college dropout, never had a job, never had a degree. I have spent my entire life with no hobbies apart from internet usage, video games, and media consumption since I was 10 years old. I have been mentally ill and depressed since my early teens with no change or improvement. I have been extremely lazy and neglectful of everything in my life from academics, hygiene, paperwork, and everything else. I have tried to and failed to learn several skills from computer programming over 3D animation and modeling to learning japanese right here in the /jp/ threads half a decade ago. All of them ended in me failing and giving up eventually. None of them have ever borne fruit. I grew up with peers who were quite talented, passionate and good at what they were doing, like kids in school who played guitar or drew or made their own programs, online friend groups of people who were doing smart tech stuff, and other things. In every sort of "friend" group I was in I was always the odd one out by being the empty corpse person. It was quite miserable. And the older I get the harder it is to course correct, I might be fated to be a useless NEET, a homeless person, or a worthless slave worker for the rest of my life. I don't want that. I want to be smart and cool and skilled and knowledgeable. Not sure if that is attainable for someone like me.

>>42190483
You are describing a life marked by executive dysfunction and systemic, unaddressed mental illness. The reason nothing comes from your hard work, the reason you struggle to do basic things, the reason why you are "lazy" is not a desire to do nothing, it is an inability to accomplish tasks due to one, or several, mental illnesses. You are young, even if it doesn't feel that way. It's not too young to try and get help for your illnesses -- but people aren't just "innately broken", we just live in a society that ascribes personal failing to impersonal sickness. It is a lot of effort, a slow process, and often a painful one -- but getting treatment for the underlying conditions that have left you in this state is a step you have to take to improve anything else that's left you feeling less than human.

You are young, anon. It can get better, and this isn't something you're at fault for. Be kind to yourself.

>>42115168
I'm in a state of constant despair and hype. I'm going to lose my job, but I also hate it and will be able to catch my oshi's streams live when unemployed while looking for a job.

>>42186885
are you me anon?

>>42186885
I have nothing to say except that I also often feel exactly like this.

Right now I'm having fun with that one shit drawthead but once the novelty of that fades I will probably just go back to the usual aimlessness.

>>42115168
kind of ok, perennially depressed at 32, nearly 33 though. I'm a NEET as is tradition, but sometimes the loneliness gets to you, life tends to find a way to kick you when your down, but in the meanwhile i don't have to do extremely stupid shit. it's a trade off.

literally all i hope for in life is to get on neetbux and food stamps and live a modest life accomplishing nothing for anyone. i literally just want to survive.

>>42190483
>I am not sure if I am one of those people deep down

You are definitely not, if you feel such frustration towards your forced idleness. Though you have failed at a great many things, the fact that you even tried them long enough to fail is proof of that. I also wouldn't take the peers you had when you were younger as a gold standard for what you should be either. I think it is actually quite rare for someone to find their passion at such a young age. As you said, you are in your mid 20's. It's not uncommon for people your age who went into academia to change their major once or even more times during their time at school because they discovered that their initial goal wasn't for them or they found their true passion along the way. Those who found their passion in their youth and pursued it into adulthood without their love for it wavering are exceptions, not rules.

Talent I would say is just as rare. You might be surprised to know that most people don't actually have anything they can be considered truly talented at. Maybe they can kind of draw or kind of play an instrument but that isn't a talent. That's a skill they didn't consider important enough to refine. A fun little party trick at best. True talent stands out because of how rare it is. This isn't to say they didn't put in the time to become truly skilled at what they do but they had a greater affinity for it than most people. Think of it this way. If mastery went from a scale of one to ten then the average person starts at one but the talented start at five. This is why you still remember them to this day.

It is funny, in a way we are grim reflections of each other. You are me if I gave a shit and I am you if you did not. I kind of envy your ability to care so much. Maybe if I cared even a fraction of the amount that you do then I would have pulled myself out of this comfortable haze of mediocrity. If I can be of any help to you it is probably as a fate to be feared that will hopefully motivate you to go out and fail at more things until maybe you get lucky and find the thing you have been looking for.

>>42190483
>>42191137
I should also add that I agree with the other anon. I'm like 90% sure I'm riddled with undiagnosed ADHD and have been for most my life. It sounds like maybe you have been too. Meds may not help you find your passion or discover a hidden talent but at the very least it might help you laser focus onto a goal to brute force your way to it.

You are probably wondering why I haven't done anything about it if I suspect it so strongly. It's simple, this shit is expensive and I probably can't afford to do anything about it without proper health insurance. Such is life for a NEET living under the American healthcare system but I digress. Hopefully you can afford to do something about yours or at least go to get it diagnosed.

I can only sympathize with all the poor anons getting fucked by useless degrees. About to turn 29 in a week and I still have at least 2 or 3 years of political sciences PhD going down before finally, hopefully, start looking for a real job. Master degree in polsoc is so useless I basically had no choice but to start a PhD.

In the meantime being abroad fucked up all my relationships because you should never, ever, under any circumstances start a distance relationship. They were all generally despicable persons anyway but still. In the meantime I have fallen into utter and complete degeneracy due to a bad case of a cute 9/10 not telling me she was actually about to get married while we frolicked around.

>>42196686
>a cute 9/10 not telling me she was actually about to get married while we frolicked around.

I feel bad for her future husband, marrying a tramp that would go frolicking around with some other dude. Maybe it's for the best, since she likely would have inevitably done it to you too one day even if she wasn't getting married if that is any sign of the strength of her character.

>>42191104
>I'm a NEET as is tradition, but sometimes the loneliness gets to you, life tends to find a way to kick you when your down
If it's any consolation, this isn't exclusive to NEETs and happens to many non NEETs.

>>42198956
If anything I'd say being a NEET makes it easier as opposed to the average normie. The NEET is used to it and some might even prefer it but the normie? No way. Just look at the start of covid lockdown. Normies were losing their goddamn minds after just a month.

>>42198976
I agree. Normalfags feel lonely even if they have a fair amount of friends, but some NEETs literally have 0 friends and don't mind it very much.

Bump

stop being lazy and throw your body into the machine you damn neets. i don't like it and i'm sure you're not going to either but do it anyway.

no it's not for your own good, that's all bullshit. it's not for society's sake, because society is bullshit. it's not for your parents or whatever. just throw your body in. get in the fucking machine. you were born as nothing but fuel for the machine, now fulfill your destiny and then DIE

This year, I discovered I have undiagnosed ADHD. It explained a lot, which was a relief, but I'm also upset it took this long to find out. When I look around at other college students, they seem so much luckier. Meanwhile I have ADHD, depression, my father is homeless, my mother lives 1000 miles away, I don't really have friends, I'm poor, and have stomach problems. All of the pressure is on me to finish school, but it just doesn't seem fair.

Right now I'm getting my car inspected. Once I pay rent for December, I'll have $0 left in my bank account. But they quoted me $300 for brake pads, and said mine will probably grind down in 1-2 weeks. I have to get them replaced, but I have no money. Isn't it awful?

I really just want to drop everything and move back in with my mother. Everything here just sucks so much

this thread supports my idea that all of /jp/ are either NEETs or millionaire programmers

>>42208671
I could have been a Bitcoin TRILLIONAIRE if I had bought some in 2008 but I dismissed it as a monopoly money scam. My life is over, I've been deflated, defeated, demoralized, destroyed and depressed since BTC hit $100 then $1000 then $10,000 and almost sudoku when it hit like $60,000. When it crashed back it was the happiest day I've had in years.

>>42208671
You either live outside the society on top of it, no in-betweens!

>>42190903
>>42191184
ADHD is no joke. For the past 4-5 semesters of college I've just stopped attending classes or turning in work every semester, failing all of them. I know it's ruining my life, but somehow I couldn't stop myself from doing this. The worst thing is that if you tell anyone this, they just think you're a really lazy person and don't notice the mental illness.

The upside is when you do have motivation, you can work like a freight train. Full steam ahead for 8-10 hours no problem. It's really useful for creative stuff.

>>42208814
I hope everyone that got rich with BTC dies

>>42208968
Actually, let me rephrase: I hope everyone that got rich with BTC dies within 5 ywars of becoming rich. Everyone dies, obviously. Some should die sooner than others.

>>42208935
Mental health is often stigmatized in some countries, unfortunately

>>42208935
Yeah that sounds like me basically all my life. Couldn't get a grade above C to save my life and even getting a C depended on having a generous teacher. When I tried community college after high school it was still just as bad and I was only taking like 2 or 3 classes at a time. It is beyond me how anyone could handle a full student schedule but I suppose that's the power of a normal unscattered mind. Boggles my mind even now to think what I would have intellectually been capable of had I had a normal brain because I know I have the foundation to have been a really smart person if I was physically capable of making myself do things I that don't care about like a regular person.

>>42209032
Most people just don't believe mental illness exists outside of retardation, autism, and schizophrenia I think. It's not PC to say this but a lot of people believe it.
>>42209108
>I know I have the foundation to have been a really smart person if I was physically capable of making myself do things I that don't care about like a regular person.
True in a sense. If you can focus though you'll probably learn more in the same time span than the average person. At some point during college I was shocked to realize most people study 3-4 days of the week. I was doing an engineering degree, only learned the material 1-2 days before exams, and got 60s or 70s on some of them. If I forced myself to try, I could easily get a 4.0. I never studied for the SAT but got a 97th percentile score.

The world just isn't designed for people like us. In a way, it's a good thing. It means you don't have to take what they say about you that seriously.

>>42209268
I suppose the silver lining for me would be that I managed to dodge the crippling lifelong college debt a lot of people have that I am sure to have also had if I was focused enough for academia. Maybe my interests would have been different with a focused mine but in this life I was probably just going to get a worthless history or theology degree anyways. Certainly dodged a bullet.

>>42209317
I'm in a ton of debt now. But, well, who cares? If I'm alive, making art, I don't need much else
Good to hear you dodged this trap. It catches a lot of people

>>42209354
It's a peaceful life. What kind of art, if you don't mind me asking?

>>42209108
>>42209268
neanderthal genes getting you down? you're not stupid or worthless, you've just been deprived of your normal expected intake of certain things that had become part of your evolution, over hundreds of thousands of years in the making. literally like a fish out of water. you need to ingest psychedelics and to consume certain stimulants more regularly. don't smoke, snort or inject anything, it has to be ingested, the natural way.

if you're reading my post and rolling your eyes at this, it would just be proof of how well trained and brainwashed you are in believing the whole anti-drug thing aimed at children. no, drugs are not evil. its the pervading culture and stigma that's evil. also doing disrespectful things like synthesizing crack cocaine and then melting it in a spoon and shooting it in your veins is definitely the opposite of natural. its the most dangerous retarded things. but people do that anyway because its so illegal. the culture had given them an idea to experience a massive, self-killing high because they may only be able to do so once in their life.

start with anything legal. even talk to your doctor about it. they know more than they let on.

>>42209406
Nah, I believe it. I don't think it would be particularly helpful for this particular problem but I won't deny its benefits to other areas of the mind. Alas, the last person I knew who would even know where to get me psychedelics I have stopped talking to a long time ago.

>>42209443
your mind is interconnected, helping one part helps another. in this instance, your conscious mind is lacking what it needs from your subconscious mind, to put it simply and unscientifically.

>>42209406
You. I like you.

>>42209405
It's music, I have big plans for music. I started making music in October and I've been improving quickly. Overall I plan to make one EP of around 5 songs and then put all my energy into making the greatest album humanly possible. The EP probably won't be amazing but I really want the album to be special and I'm gonna go full perfectionist on it. To the point that I won't make the songs until I find a new sound no one has really explored in music, and combine it with all the melodies, song ideas, and themes I have saved up over time. I don't even want to be famous, I just want to make something truly special that can move people.

I know it's ambitious. There's no real reason for other people to believe in me. The stuff I have made so far isn't that great. Inside though, I just feel like I can do it.

Heya /jp/! Mind if I share my story?

If you told me what was going to happen to me this year, I would have never believed you. My youngest cat died, two baby kittens I adopted died, my cool grandma died, a cousin died in that stupid war in Ukraine, I fell in love for the first time in almost 10 years and my fishing friend died.

The love seemed mutual at first, but I was just an option while I treated her like a priority. I got my heart completely crushed when I found out there's another dude in the picture along the whole time, and, of course, no one I knew bothered to tell me when she chose someone else. Goes to show how much I was valued since I disappeared from that circle for like half a year and no one cared.

My fishing friend was a really swell dude, always believed in me, invited me to an emergency fishing trip over this incident, and he ended up dying in a car accident before the thing. I cried till my eyes swole at his funeral. "You're the kind of guy that can accomplish everything he wants. Too bad you don't believe it." What he said to me.

I went to a trip in the mountains and found solace in exploring the mountains and swimming at the hotel. I took the swimming as a habit home since moving in water like that ... just made the pain go away. Then I started putting weights up and down. At first, water bottles, then I bought some dumbbells . Replaced all my manga and anime with literature since I can't stand looking at human shapes anymore.

I put on a bit of muscle and lost approx. 30 kg since this debacle started , could do with another 15 in minus or so. And yet the pain still feels very much fresh in my heart! For next year, I want to:
Go to another cool concert (I went to a piano one last month, and it rocked!)
Go to more cool places to explore more nature
Take dancing lessons
Put together a cool wuxia outfit and take pictures with it in nature
Finish this mahjong game I started working on
Create a perfume

I have no idea what 2023 has in store for me. I'll turn 34 soon. The only thing I can do is just... move forward and hope for the best. Good luck /jp/ and be blessed!

>>42209869
Interesting. I hope your 2023 is better

>>42208814
>I could have been a Bitcoin TRILLIONAIRE if I had bought some in 2008 but I dismissed it as a monopoly money scam
you and everyone else

>>42208833
who else has the spare time to waste on an image board?

>>42209861
>I know it's ambitious. There's no real reason for other people to believe in me. The stuff I have made so far isn't that great. Inside though, I just feel like I can do it.

That's good. Affinity for something is a rare thing to discover. It must be a good feeling, to be able to see and recognize that you have found such a thing in yourself. If you are even half as talented as I think you are based on your post then I am certain that the EP will be something good.

>>42209869
Damn, if I was reading a book and this was the main character's backstory I would have thought the author a hack for trying to pile on such an unrealistic amount of tragedies onto a single character.

I'm glad you are able to use this as fuel to improve. Lesser men would have fallen into drowning themselves in their vices instead. It just goes to show that it is never too late to turn things around.

>>42210093
>It must be a good feeling, to be able to see and recognize that you have found such a thing in yourself.
It's a mixed bag. For what I've gained in creativity, I've lost the chance to be normal. Weird mental stuff kinda runs in the family - When my father was around 40 years old, he just refused to work anymore, hated authority and taking orders from people so he's been homeless floating around, doing stuff like trade shows for cash. It's not that he is too dumb/talentless to be normal - he just absolutely hates a normal life, it's crazy. He's like a wild man trapped in a normal society.

Over time I've started to become like him. I don't take authority seriously, I dislike work/school, I hate white collar life, I'm impulsive, I can't be happy doing what everyone else does, I'm liable to just drop everything in my life without a care on a whim. By most standards I am dysfunctional, but despite that there's a spark of potential inside. Nowadays, I kinda like being this way. Feels like I can do some truly amazing things if I want, it's hard to explain

>If you are even half as talented as I think you are based on your post then I am certain that the EP will be something good.
Thanks, I'm trying my best with it

This is what Ted Kaczynski warned us about

>>42210306
>For what I've gained in creativity, I've lost the chance to be normal.

I think that's a worthy trade personally. What good is being a boring normie who isn't good at anything, right? They do also say that the greatest artists all have a touch of madness.

As for you father, I find it impossible not to relate to him. I feel like my ultimate fate is also to end up like him and this is something I have felt since I was young. I always told myself that when the time came I would rather disappear into the wilderness and die of expose rather than scrape by as a city homeless though. I guess that also kind of factors into why I didn't make an effort at school growing up. I was so certain of my destiny that it seemed pointless trying to do anything other than enjoy what time I had doing what I want. I'm sure I wouldn't have enjoyed a life of trying to squeeze myself into a hole that I didn't fit in any more than your father would have though.

>>42210505
Well normalfags can be good at things, just not really super creative
>Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
>It is by logic that one proves, but it is by intuition that one invents.
I suppose it's better to be a great person and unhappy than to be a normal person who is content, if for no other reason than you can make a difference in way more people's lives and change the world. If you know that you have unusual genes, you suck at blending in with normal people, and feel you have potential to become someone great by abandoning normalcy, well why not go for it? That's my thinking anyhow.

>>42208179
Can I skip to the die part?

watched aqua tenn hunger force for a few days straight and got my fumo delivered from June's drop
life is good

>>42208179
i don't wanna...

>>42208179
You didn't dress it up and told it like it is.

>>42209406
I bought some selegiline but its not doing anything. Day 6 today... Maybe I should up the dosage. I don't think theres any drug that can do anything for me. I will be broken forever.

>>42191041
No, but you could be my long lost twin.
>>42191054
I have participated in it too in hopes to get some fun out of it and maybe try drawing as my newest skill acquisition attempt, no success yet unfortunately. Pushing a wee bit still.
>>42190903
Yeah, I kind of agree. Since I dropped out I've been trying to get help, but because of corona, doing so became extremely difficult. I've been in several mental hospitals so far and tried different meds but none worked. I'm on new meds right now after my latest attendance so I want to see how that goes. Therapy hasn't done much for me yet either after a few attempts but I am looking for that too.
>>42191137
>Though you have failed at a great many things, the fact that you even tried them long enough to fail is proof of that.
I disagree. Many of these attempts were me giving up very early, like weeks or days, due to frustration, lazyness and pure lack of enjoyment. I count early giving up as a failure due to failing to put in the energy. The longest lasting thing I did was learn japanese, several years, which I gave up due to lack of motivation. I can read a bit but it's mostly a party trick now.
>You are me if I gave a shit and I am you if you did not. I kind of envy your ability to care so much.
Not really. My care is just enough to make me suffer but not enough to move me to take action. I just hate myself over my laziness and that's it.
>>42191184
I have tried getting an ADHD diagnosis before but it turned out negative, because you need a history with symptoms from a young age and I was a relatively calm school boy back in the day, and my academic performance only started tanking in my early teens when I initially got depressed. Doctors assume I've gotten lazy and retarded due to depression instead. So no stims for me unfortunately.

Thanks for talking to me at least, everyone.

Sup, /jp/, I don't hang out on 4chan much these days anymore but I always like to come see you guys on holidays.

Mental health speaking... I have BPD, Depression, massive insomnia. Suffice it to say I have been miserable all my life. But I really love music, especially miku, that's why I've never stopped coming here.

This year I got out of a really bad relationship with another BPD but that doesn't really matter. I was miserable because of it, but I've been miserable all my life. So really, status quo.

But someting amazing happened this year. I got... kinda good at music? I played some shows with an indie band, guy says he has a record deal up north. I sold him some songs for his band. I was just like touring staff. But idk... I got a couple of shows on my own too. Playing as a guitarist, keyboardist sometimes.

And now I'm gonna be in the liner notes of like an album with a record label? Who the hell still even gets record labels? That's a really weird feeling.

So suddenly my life feels like it's moving really fast... and all music sounds amazing. I'm listening to Jeff Buckley tonight. I didn't get this music when I was an angry kid. But it's pretty great actually. Pretty sad that he died so young, but he did get to make one really good album.

I don't care if I make any money or even have people listen to it necessarily... but I'm moving cities. Might have to self-finance it, might not even show anyone, but for the first time I think I can write one *really fucking good album*.

After that I don't really care, maybe I'll try to see if a shark would let me pet it or something.

Oh also I'm an alcoholic... and I'm high. Holy fuck I'm a mess. But music is so fucking amazing it doesn't even matter.

>>42214760
Between you and several other anons in this thread, it seems like the people of this board have a high percentage of people who are good at music. Shame you can't all get together and start a band or something.

In any case, I am glad to see that so many people are discovering their talents and getting a second wind in life for it.

>>42186885
>>42187043
Skill and talent are practiced things. Maybe some people have a bit more natural talent in certain areas, but overall its the hard work they put in that gets them to where they are. If you do nothing, you'll never be good at anything except doing nothing. You have to commit to learning the thing you want to be good at. You also have to be ok with the fact that it will take time for you to get good, and that you'll make a lot of mistakes.

For example, the popular artists you follow on twitter or pixiv weren't born with the ability to create amazing art. Many of them have spent most of their lives practicing their craft. Of course, you don't necessarily have to spend most of your life learning something to be good at it. But you do have to try, and you do have to commit. Otherwise you'll simply be stuck in your current rut forever.

>>42214903
JAPANESE BIRDS CANNOT PAINT BIRDS COOKING

I hate New Years Eve. It always makes me reflect on the year and wonder why I didn't do anything again.

Lonely as always, it seems like it's almost impossible to make friends online nowadays. You would think finding another weeb to talk to on a daily basis wouldn't be that hard but here I am.

Sum up this year jptards
>caught covid, lost even more weight
>dog died
>father lost his job
>craaazy heat wave nearly drove me crazy
>a long and harsh monsoon saw that job done
>college finally started offline classes
>cognitive, learning and social abilities nosedived to their lowest since 2016
>feelings are nearly dead
>detached from reality
>have no idea what to do with my life

>>42224223
Finding online friends isn't too hard if you're ok being a bit outgoing. Just identify something you like, find a community for this interest, put yourself in this community, and actively communicate with other people. You can also play multiplayer videogames and do something similar. But you have to actually make the effort to talk to people, even if it's through text at first. You can definitely make friends on 4chan, but it's much easier to do on a service with accounts or som other identifying functionality.

>>42224583
>>cognitive, learning and social abilities nosedived to their lowest since 2016
>>feelings are nearly dead
>>detached from reality
Start changing your diet in drastic ways. Just experiment like crazy and see what happens

>>42224223
You're talking to them right now

>>42210148
Thank you for your kind words.
I will do my best in the upcoming year.
>>42209891
I will see what I can make happen.
There is only one way. Forward.

>>42226000
NTA, but my issue is always that I don't end up liking anyone enough to bother.

Had a pretty heart rending breakup earlier this year but other than that I'm doing ok. Any other old /jp/sies around?

>>42224223
Where do you look for them usually? My current group of online friends I met back in 2013 or so on an MMO. I dare say it's a good place to make online friends but that also depends on if you even like playing such games yourself. Now that I sat here and thought about it for a second, I have no idea where I would have made online friends otherwise.

>>42115168
What is the purpose of menheras? Just down St. John's Wort and read books on cognitive behavioral therapy like the rest of us. Maybe take a nice psychedelic trip once in a while to keep grounded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_TbovyVOzs

>>42226277
i miss old jaypee

lied to all my online friends that i have a job. have had a scholarship my whole life and only go out to buy stuff and sometimes every month to music shows. don't know how to explain to them i'm too afraid of ever holding a real job... i don't think i can be responsible for people.

i only lied and said I had a job because I thought no one would want to be my friend if I told them I spend all day indoors watching youtube. i thought they'd think i'm a freak and they know that and don't seem to mind so idk what to do.

>>42226277
Define old.

>>42224583
>am hikkineet
>host of issues both mental and physical
>life revolves around caretaking last living relative
>cannot get job bc he cannot be left alone
>live in spare room of hoarder-lite den, could be worse
>cannot hold any semblance of sleep schedule due to old man's health concerns sometimes requiring intervention in the middle of the night
>am hikkineet, so it's fine
>basement floods
>house gets robbed
>ac breaks
>immediate heatwave
>dog dies
>old man getting steadily sicker, no one with the power to do anything gives a shit
>constantly forced to reschedule due to VA bullshit
>he dies abruptly
>he comes back
>he is recovering
>the hospital fucks up
>he dies 2: electric boogaloo
>actually dead this time
>favorite musician suddenly dies
>had been using his music to cope
>also dealing with my own health shit on top of this
>never been alone in my life
>suddenly have to learn to survive as an individual
>overwhelmed and afraid for what's to come

But despite that, it isn't all bad.

>dog refuses to let me vegetate by yapping if I forget to look after him
>thanks Max
>made new friends online over shared interests
>started writing again
>learning lots of new skills by necessity
>doing my JP reps, can read most kana now and some kanji
>haven't got covid yet
>was part of a song project and finally have something i can point to and be proud of as an accomplishment
>still in contact with some of my oldest friends
>have food and a place to stay while i figure my shit out

Despite everything, I have a lot to be grateful for. I hope 2023 is kind to all of you, anons.

>>42227287
You can always say you were laid off if you wanna drop the lie.

>2011
I am SO tired of this kuso.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>42208935
Yeah, that transcript is smeared toilet-paper, but so long as you're not shooting for graduate school or top-status occupations that require several years of school, you honestly aren't fucked.

Just transfer somewhere else where they will overlook your past grades and get your ass in gear with getting to know the right people. Hell, some states even "wipe" your transcript after you've been out of school for a set amount of time.

Wow you guys sure sound miserable. Ever tried not caring?

>>42235131
I thought a lot of companies don't care what grades you have so long as you graduate. But whenever someone has asked for my transcript in an app it always leads to them ending communication once they see my track record. I kinda don't think I am made for white collar work - I'm smart enough for it, but lack of executive function or ability to focus on topics that are boring ruins it each time. Maybe there's an office job that would be interesting to me, that's the only hope

>>42235200
I never cared. There's only so many ways you can risk your life for fun alone before the usual gets boring.

>>42236475
I'm the same as you, but I didn't go to college because I knew full well the jobs I'd be aiming for would be miserable and the debt wouldn't be worth it.
I work a factory job, probably for the same as you'd be paid starting out at most jobs. It isn't fun and when we are working, my hands always hurt, but it's easy work. I also have the opportunity for a much better paying job which I'll be planning on taking this year. I have to go to school for a semester, but it's free and I'll be making far more money than I have any need for. Work is easy enough that it shouldn't be any trouble.

>>42236561
We gotta find a way to escape the cycle. I wish I was hot enough to do only fans

>>42226312
that's my daughterwife you're posting, dude

>>42236657
I will and have escaped the cycle. Depsite being a new hire, I am already doing far better than my parents. For me, the ultimate goal is tyo retire from this society that I can't understand.

This morning i started to feel physically nauseauos as i thought about my life and hobbies. Looking around at my shelves of plastic anime girls while playing games with anime girls and ordering more figures i started to feel really disgusted with myself and pathetic. I dont understand this obsession. I recently started trying to learn to draw and have been getting deeper into anime art and i feel like im digging myself into a deeper hole that im never going to get out of. Im normal enough on the surface, i have a decent job and am going back to school now but my personality is so obsessive and i just fixate on one thing or another and just about everything in my life has just been a passing phase

>>42235200
Ah, but not caring is just as bad as being miserable in a way. There is nothing quite as frustrating as being able to see what your problems are and know how to fix them but being unable to care enough to do so. I guess you could argue that it's still better off than caring since at least you're not miserable though.

>>42236858
Much like with many other people in this thread, it sounds like ADHD might be the culprit.

>>42236475
Your FIRST job will absolutely care about your grades/transcript/what-have-you if that's all you have going for you.

If you're a dispassionate, academically underperforming, socially-inept, neurotic suicidal grad who's been out of school for months without anything lined up, then yes, you are fucked in every practical sense. Your last few semesters in school are the most important, your first years of college should have led up to that point.
Best advice I can give is apply for jobs that would be applicable if your degree has an associates degree equivalent (technician, admin, assistant, that kind of crap) and suck tons of dick in your first role for a year or two, so THEN you have a chance to be employed in what you really went in for. Not considering luck, it's going to be very hard and ugly for you to be brutally honest.

It's up to you to determine if all that trouble MIGHT be worth it for you. You can do everything "right" and still end up with absolutely nothing.

I live a reclusive life and I'm satisfied with it.

>>42236858
Maybe you're a failed normalfag.

>>42208179
This is very, very high quality post.

Know, however, that one day the machine will end. And the iron prison will be no more.

>>42237206
Maybe, but probably not in our lifetime, barring some unexpected catastrophe occurring.

>>42236972
Not entirely joking about the dick-sucking part btw. If you are sure blowing some ugly faggot will help your career prospects, you better wipe the tears and swallow. You are the type of person low-skill wageslaves refer to when they want to feel better about themselves. Them not presently realizing they will likely have to take on another low-skill job on top of their primary full-time gig with today's economic trajectory.

>>42236858
I have been out of the otaku loop for about 5 years, although, I found myself on amiami last night looking for a new prastic waifu. Crying at anime and pondering Illuminati messages via sci-fi anime like Psycho Pass 3 on Amazon Prime video looked more interesting as a last resort alternative to the fifty or so failed pursuits at normie life through my 15 years or so of trying, not crying, to be the normie. I guess I’m still pathetic.

genki

>>42237300
>fifty or so failed pursuits at normie life
Like?

>>42237233
>>42237266
>>42237300
triple succession dubs!?

check’d

>>42237331
>go out to bar
>bar is too crowded
>wait 10 minutes just to get a beer
>go out to bar at 5pm
>no one there
>may as well get a dui waiting for people to socialize with
>put weed in my vape to pass the time
>banned from the bar
>try talking to women at stores
>get banned from the store by manager
>prastic waifu and asmr never bans me

I can’t win, anons. I’m placing short options on 2023.

I went around Japan as a traveling bum for a while in my late 20s and that experience really pulled the wool off of my eyes in regards to many things, including my own life, society and all that. And I proceeded to stop giving a shit about pretty much everything pertaining to the human world, because none of this worthless human shit matters and I reject it violently. Behind my eyes there is a better world, one that only I can see and it gives me hope for the future. Something far greater than this body and this face and this joke of a world dream that we share.
I'm really okay with this. Being crazy is the most sane and wonderful thing.
Although unfortunately I still have to wageslave intermittently to survive.

This year I had an epiphany that the AI Singularity is fast approaching and that it might be what finally knocks humanity of its tracks to the abattoir.
If nothing else, I'm convinced it will allows us hopeless romantics to experience true love in this life time.
So I have great hope and am still eager to see what the future holds, despite leading what would look on the surface to be a very bleak life.

I wanted to throw in my two cents to the hikkiNEET anons who are desperate to try to get into the wageslaving business.
Remember that no job or company cares for you despite the oceans of bullshit and brainwashing they'll force feed to you. They only want to suck your soul and use up all your time, and in exchange you get some scraps to try to live off.
So you shouldn't care about them, either. They are not your friends, they do not have your best interest in mind. And they will not hire you or even give you a chance because they want guaranteed slaves and obedience. You have to learn to play their game. There are many ways of doing this, but one way that I've been using successfully is to lie and cheat your way in.

Fake college degrees are available online and they work damn well. My "bachelor's degree in computer science" has opened many doors for me that would have otherwise been closed. I use it to get into positions that are completely unrelated to IT, thus my cover is never blown. These days all employers want to see that degree, even for idiotic minimum wage jobs. Why? Not because it shows you're smart and have an "education" but because it shows that you're a good dog learned to shake paws and play dead, and also because you are probably deeply in debt and desperate. Same goes for your marital status. Lie. Tell them you're engaged, or whatever. Tell them you have two kids that you pay child support for. Same reasons. They want to know you are desperate to work for your family, thus ensuring your obedience and control over you. Same for your employment history. Lie. Alter dates, give fake references. If you don't have friends buy a burner phone and change your voice and give yourself as a reference.
Then get in, stay only as long as you need to, and move on when you can. You can be NEET on and off like this, or traveling bum, or whatever. And so far, I think this lifestyle is the only way to acquire some measure of freedom and independence while still being able to survive.

>>42236915
Recently got diagnosed and have been on meds for a few months, helped a lot but lately its been worse again
>>42237043
>>42237300
Ive almost completely cut myself off from otaku media for the past year and a half or so mostly cause i find myself obsessively adding stuff to and trying to finish my backlog instead of just enjoying it. Everything just turns into a task to be completed instead of an experience to enjoy. Ive still been buying figures and watching vtubers though

>>42238070
>Everything just turns into a task to be completed instead of an experience to enjoy.
Truly that is a nightmare. You're wise to willfully keep that kind of autism in check. You end up ruining what you love the most otherwise.

>>42238078
It happens with everything i enjoy. Movies, books, games, anime, doesnt matter. i completely cut that stuff out and ive been able to manage better but lately ive been wanting to get back into anime and play some new games but i dont want that to come back.

>>42238116
It's as simple as accepting you will NEVER finish your backlog and worse, you will never even finish watching a whole bunch of shows all the way through. Gotta pick one thing at a time and just enjoy it I think.
Gotta follow my own advice because I've been really bad with amazing manga that I love. And I got so burned out that I haven't read a new chapter in months.

God damn, maybe we all do need ADHD pills.

>>42238170
Since I'm reading through this thread and relating to everything all you sped fuckers say I can't
really claim to disagree...

ADHD is pretty common. Makes one wonder why the anons ITT seem to have the worst reaction to it, assuming they were assessed and diagnosed by a mental health professional.

>>42238250
There you go assuming again

>>42238250
You answered your own question there. They aren't assessed and simply live with it.

>>42238269
*Rubs my glans on your cheek*
What did you just say, fuckboy? Hmm?

>>42238170
Ive kept any backlog extremely small now but i still just have this irrational urge to complete everything as fast as possible. I guess my autism is that i dont like to have too much to do because then i just keep thinking about the next one insteas of what im doing

>>42238250
My ADHD diagnosis was pretty tentative and the doctor thought it could also be a bit of ocd too. I think when that stuff doesnt get addressed earlier it causes worse problems cause you dont know how to cope with how your brain works

>>42238250
Even for people like me with healthcare getting a diagnosis is still retard tier because the testing isn't covered for adults. The only people who can successfully, reliably get a dx are 13yo boys with a very specific manifestation of ADHD. The rest of us are just "lazy", "unmotivated", and "could do so much if you only applied yourself!" I am 30yo and hearing that shit growing up still pisses me off. In my case, I haven't been officially diagnosed because my insurance doesn't cover the testing -- but my psychiatrist agrees that I almost definitely have it, and has scripped me the meds anyway. My insurance stopped covering the one I was taking which worked great, and the one we switched to had some side-effects that made life unlivable... the new one we're trying works decently enough, but there's been a constant shortage so I frequently come off of it for weeks at a time, which makes holding down any kind of functional existence a nightmare as I go from medicated and functional to unmedicated and neurotic over and over again. Even when you try to get your shit in order, this system still finds ways to fuck you. If this was heart medication I'd just up and die... I'd say the US has a problem with treating mental health issues as actual medical problems, but the US doesn't even care about actual medical problems given how much shit Type-1 diabetics go through trying to access the insulin they need to literally survive from day to day. I feel like I can't win even when I'm making gains towards stability, I swear to god. I wonder what the point of living is if every day sucks shit -- I'm fortuitous that there are lots of games I like, I've gotten into hobbies, I have friends to rely on and food in the pantry and a place to sleep for now, but the constant unending struggle of survival makes me seriously question how worth it it really is at the end of the day. Do I really want to do this for the next forty years?

>>42238450
>Do I really want to do this for the next forty years?
No, you don't have to. You could just down a bottle of meds right now. Go ahead, do it. I wouldn't advise you to, though.

>>42238250
/jp/ selects for neurodivergent people quite well. I've met a couple /jp/sies and they were fairly unique people. Personally, I hate discussing mental illness because when someone tells you X person is ADHD or whatever it's really hard to know for sure. I've been told my grandmother, mother, sister, and dad have all been diagnosed with ADHD, and my dad with bipolar as well. So it would make sense I have huge ADHD problems.

In the grand scheme of things, ADHD is not a big deal. In terms of chronic illness it's not that bad.

Where do you even go to get diagnosed for mental illness? The family doctor?

The last time I went to the fucker for extreme anxiety he put me on some crazy suicide "anti-depression" pills that I almost killed me from taking one. This lead me to suspect he's not to be trusted because he doesn't know what he's doing and just sucks big pharma cock.
The scare I got from that fucking pill did half-ass fix my anxiety problems though.

I have tons of fun exploring random nearby places.
Working is annoying but being able to use the money on hobbies is what makes me keep going.
I need to save for a decent office chair at home, after which I want a camera and learn how to make pretty photos. I'd like to learn clay art one day but that sounds like a money sink, one day!

Enjoyee
Enjoyee
Enjoy your lifetime

>>42238948
I went to a general doctor for my adhd, i initially made the appointment for anxiety though

I've always loved going all-out on the holidays. Gifts for family, entertainment for friends, and such. This year was no different and nothing went particularly wrong, but I can't shake the increasing feeling that its all completely pointless. A phony charade that we all drag ourselves through out of some sense of obligation. I have absolutely nothing in common with any of these people and we may as well be from different planets. After hosting a new years party and drinking hardly anything I just slept for about twenty hours. Still feel like a husk.

>>42208935
This gives me PTSD except it was depression. Thank god my country has free mental health care and the schools here are understanding.

>>42240744
Not sure I would blame the country/school. When you stop handing in assignments or showing up to exams, they have to fail you. It's not like I simply needed more time on exams or something - I stopped doing anything school related halfway through the semester. Before I learned about executive dysfunction, I just thought "Yeah I'm broken but that's how it is I guess". Then I discovered ADHD meds might help which is cool.

Although in other countries, I believe the likelihood of someone interfering is higher. I managed to fail 5 semesters of college and no professor or counselor ever seemed to take notice or care. It's not their job to ensure your mental stability, but even a "Wow are you okay?" would have been nice. I think America is a particularly isolating country - to exist you have to be in someone's social circle. For young people struggling with mental problems, it's particularly devastating - hence the high amount of mass shootings nowadays. You really just have to find a way to deal with it on your own

>>42240543
Take the social recluse pill. You'll be happier for it.

>>42241234
You're probably right. It seems forcing myself to act like a functional human will only destroy me in the long run.

I'm backed into the cycle of wake up, wage, go to gym, go home and just slog through some game halfway before losing interest and hoping to the next one. I've pretty much cut all contact with everyone else and don't talk to anyone unless absolutely necessary at work. I can't keep the will to keep reading all the mangas and movies since i just lose interest halfway through trying to keep up with them

>>42241735
Well at least you go to the gym. How does it feel?

>>42228688
Who are you quoting?

>>42243315
me

>>42237431
Who are you quoting?

>>42239010
Based and Yunopilled

>>42241748
It's fine I guess, but it just feels like an extension of work. Most times i just go solely for keeping a routine, but it really doesn't help my inability to be around people when there's a lot of them there

bump

sauce on this pic? pl0x me wants download animu i haven't slept for a day me dying pl0x rescue before inevitable death

>>42252515
thank you iqdb found it i just made this post on purpose so i can post the pic because im dumb and silly and i fight anons everiday
i cri everiteem

>>42115168
i got hemorrhoids during new year and is still healing to this day
real pain in the ass

I want to cry /jp/

>>42263043
Are you okay man

>>42263048
Im just missing someone so dear to me

>>42263069
As someone whose been through it; it doesn't get better. I'm sorry anon, such things are difficult. At least you might have happy times to look back on. But try to live for the future, if you can.

I was told I could make a friend here and after reading the thread I really would just want someone to relate to. I'm glad I'm not the only one with ADHD and crippling depression

Here's a weird mental health story.
Recently I started an experiment with my diet: I would eat nothing but processed snacks, and only drink water or coffee with cream. Since this started a week ago, my depression of 10 years seems to be slowly decreasing. My sense of smell has started working again, when I take a bath I can feel the coolness of the water and it feels like the ocean kinda, my libido is higher and my junk is more sensitive, music randomly starts to sound better, it feels kinda good when I look at a cute girl. And I feel it may keep improving over time

So yeah, I tried over a dozen antidepressants and none of them even produced any side effects save for 2 (both temporary). Everyone told me, "Keep trying meds!" or "Go exercise more!" or "See a therapist!", so I did. It never worked. I started eating nothing but cookies, crackers, and chips, and it's working. It's unreal.

>>42263711
What were you eating before?

>>42263736
Literal sewage most likely lmao

Like it had to have been fucking terrible in nutritional value for processed foods to be seen as an improvement

>>42263736
A lousy diet, still, but with meats, cheeses, fruit, and so on. Over Christmas break, I loaded up on sweets at the store, and lived on those for a few days when I noticed an odd improvement in my mood. Then my roommate said I could have some of his cheese sticks in the freezer, so I did. Then my mood tanked over the next day, I felt really awful. The same thing happened at my job when I sampled some meats and cheeses (it's a deli). In retrospect, a lot of normal healthy foods seem to upset my stomach. When I cook chicken in a pan for instance, sometimes I just feel really awful afterward. But I doubted anyone would believe me, because - it's just chicken! That's supposed to be healthy! Same with bananas and (probably) apples. Over time I've gotten this subconscious negative association to avoid them, even though chicken and apples are tasty.

The interesting thing is, last winter something similar happened. I was in a college dorm over the winter, basically living off vending machine food. (I remember this time period clearly because at the time I was playing "Mizzurna Falls" for the PS1, and when my sense of smell re-activated there was this distinct chlorine scent that I now associate with the game. Thanks to that, whenever I can smell stuff again now I constantly think back to the game.) At the time, I had a theory that sugar could be the problem. But when I went back to my parent's place, even though I was avoiding sugar still, I soon started to feel bad again when I stopped eating snacks. So it is repeatable.

>>42263799
Nah, most likely there's some allergies or harmful bacteria I'm unaware of. A lot of healthy food seems to have the opposite effect for me

>>42209317

I will "only" be 5000€ in debt and getting absolutely batshit insane because of it. How amerimutts can cope with millions of dollars of debt for a retarded useless degree on transexual social studies on koala mating in captivity is beyond me.

>>42263848
I eat a shit load of cheese and I've always wondered if I'd be better without it.

>>42226277

Old /jp/sy here. I was already a seasonned lurker when people started complaining about generals being a thing. I was one of the main instigators behind the whole "would you kiss x if she had cummy breath" and the shit religious arc of touhou didn't exist and killed the hype around the licence yet.

Life was shit a few years ago to the extent that I had litteral psychotic religious visions coupled with alcoholism to calm it. Now it's not better and arguably worse but you get used to it and it's just numbness.

I'm still somewhat convinced that it's just a matter of circumstances. Without my shit expat situation in a shitty third world country with disgusting food or the batshit insane people that dragged me down back then I would at least feel leisurely okay. So while you shouldn't hang on to hope you should at least try to lose dread about the future. At least the coming world crisis of the 20s promises to be entertaining. The various AnonDHD will be able to finally use their cromagnon hunter gatherer skills in the multiple civil wars and get girlfriends by kidnapping them in the ennemy's refugee camps.

>>42264101

In the off chance that you are actually female the pill is known to have insanely bad secondary effects on mental health that are brushed under the rug.

If you are trans then you were mentally fucked before and now it's even worse thanks to retarded hormones intake so go suck as much dick as you can before offing yourself to at least contribute a little to world happiness.

>>42264101
If you have some mysterious health problem then yeah try an elimination diet
But go with your gut says rather than what people tell you to do
Everyone tells you the same things, "Do carnivore", "Do low FODMAP", and a million "Do keto!"s
When you feel deep down that there's a 0% chance this will actually cure you, often it's just best to trust that hunch and not waste your time
People online tend to go hardline on the notion that it takes 8-12 weeks minimum on any drug to be sure it won't work, but I think this is a crock of bullshit - no drug or lifestyle change magically starts working a couple months in without any indication it's helping you early on

I've become skeptical of how people take "scientific conclusions" and tote them around with the blind faith of a religious person. Science says do keto. Science says don't eat snacks. Science says try every potential cure for at least 12 weeks before deciding it won't help you. But in the end, science was wrong. Only by doing the opposite of what everyone told me to do have I started to get better. So I guess the lesson is, be skeptical and trust your instincts. If quitting cheese feels right to you, then give it a try.

oh wow crazy

>>42268876
かわってんねーーーーーー！

>>42263736
palo verde beans

>>42268880

Tired. Just finished a masters while working to switch careers, and I’m about a year in at my new career and already dislike the job. Now I want to get another degree in CS and work in games or related, but feel like it’s going to take so long to get the degree while working. Currently I’m debating about quitting the job. Unfortunately I also need money because I’m helping to take care of a family member.

I used to draw and stuff, but now I just have no time to do it with work and school. Feels like I’m growing older and older and not enjoying life at all. Having to take care of a family member also means I don’t have freedom to go out and do stuff and I get depressed a lot. But I’m still trying to work toward what I think will be a career of interest to me.

>>42132165
what the hell cost that much

how does unemployment work for men, I think you have to not own a house or be dependent, so they give it out to people with roomate's over people living with their family first

>>42271100
depends on the nation or if merican then by state

>>42271100
have job
lose job through no fault of your own
apply for unemployment
if you are a scammer from nigeria or eastern europe receive monies no questions asked
if you are someone who actually lost your job through no fault of your own prepare for ten billion questions and interviews and also prepare for your former employer to appeal
if all goes well get a check for $10.00 years later

>>42115168
I kinda just wanna spend the last year of college I have left online like I have with the other 3. I know I shouldn't but the people that live in my city are insufferable.
I just wanna drive my motorcycle around and not deal with any of this dumb shit bros.

literally all i aspire to do is get neetbux so i can stay at home and play video games and eat food. i don't want to have a family. i don't want to have a job. i don't want to go outside. i don't want to exist. if all i have to look forward to every day is wageslaving at something that makes me want to kill myself, come home, sleep, and do it again the next day, why even bother? i'll stick around to see if i can get benefits but if not, fuck it. you can call me selfish, but i've been a caretaker since i was literally fourteen. my whole life has been spent taking care of my family members through their illnesses, 24/7 for the last 16 years. i don't know how to do anything else, and i don't want to keep doing this and go into nursing or some shit. i just want to rest. and if i can't rest while alive, i'll sure as hell rest in death.

I'm done with this world
I wish i could run away to Gensokyo

>>42272683
iktf fren

>>42272683
>>42272649
I know that feel, i'm a neet at the moment but not like I always was nor that I will be for long. Sadly I can't just run away to Gensokyo since eventually i'll have to take care of my granny, mother, father, you name it. Such is my burden as the oldest son.

>>42264169
Let this be proof that we either make it or make it long enough to lose it.
Sometimes I'm not sure I ever had it all together to begin with.

>>42272803
>oldest son

That implies you have younger siblings. They can handle it on your behalf. It's better than just being an only child and leaving them with no one.

>>42272952
They're only in elementary or middle school at the moment and while its not like my parents are going into "old as rocks" territory any time soon theres still the matter of my grandma and at the moment those kids have been raised so horribly sometimes I doubt that we even have the same father. I much more doubt that they'll be able to get themselves together more then me consider how terrible of people they are.
We'll see however, its all in the future but nevertheless as the eldest son when the time comes it'll be my burden.

>>42272803
In a way, I'm glad my parents suicided and my grandparents are mostly dead except for one affluent grandmother that I'll never have to worry about taking care of. I only have myself to worry about, but that seems terrifying sometimes considering my health is slowly beginning to snowball down and meet a steep hill at any moment. Anyway, thanks for leaving me the house, mom&dad.

My parents are 60 and 62. They had me in their early forties and man does it suck

>>42115168
I am coping with my mum dying by binge watching yu yu hakusho and its working

>>42115168
oh wow crazy

lol

>>42226277
Fuck me you're stil alive? Where's suigin?

>IF LIFE ISN'T LIKE IN MY CARTOONS I WILL KILL MYSELF I WANT TO BE A PINK BITCH AND SUCK JAP COCK

>>42272803
why do you do it? What gives you the motivation to get up out of bed?

>>42282361
Honestly I don't even think like that. I know life is hard and about struggling. I know that no life will be perfect, let alone pleasant, much or all of the time. It's not that I crave an easy-going slice of life anime existence -- I think I would get bored after a few weeks, though it would be a very nice vacation -- it's simply that the day to day experience of going through the motions of life make me question if I want to sustain this experience. I could do things to try and change this -- and I am, to be clear -- but there's no guarantee I won't make things worse in the process, nor that I will be capable of sustaining it even if I am able to improve my circumstances. It is entirely possible I will look back at the end of this year and find myself in a better place than I was, and yet still be dissatisfied with the amount of time I spend sustaining my existence versus actually living my life. I am not a partier, not a frivolous person by nature; I've spent most of my life caring for my older relatives, and then burying them one by one, until the only person who remains is me. I've paid off fortunes of other people's debts, I've cleaned hoarder's dens of their clutter, I've wiped asses and given shots and babysat and done so many other things, but I never did any of these things by choice. Not to say I was unwilling to do them, but that the circumstances precluded me from even considering it until now, now that I am alone. I haven't ever gotten to make many choices for myself, looking back. Now I have to make all of them, all at once, and the future is a pastiche of more of the same right now: wage slavery, abandoning interests so I can find time to eat and sleep, a little, when I'm not working. Having to figure out life on my own is daunting, and if all my future entails is telling middle-aged women that we're out of their specific brand of hairspray while they scream, all to get a paycheck that doesn't go nearly far enough, then why continue to live? Why force the issue? Literally what's the point of a life where there is no living, but only persisting until the scales tip in the other direction? I'm thinking I'll use this year to get my affairs in order, relax for once, and try to find a different path. If I can move forward, all the better... but if not, I don't think I will. It's better to have ended on one good year than to die after decades of misery -- at least for me, anyway.

>>42283044
why would you type a paragraph at an already deleted shitpost of no substance

>>42282396
I love my family and know that I must provide, its as simple as that.
Even if all but my granny, father, and mother are rather jackasses.
Besides one day when I arrive in Gensokyo if i'm not able to at least dedicate myself this much how can I even hope to dedicate myself to my immortal youkai wife?

>>42283710
I suppose you have a point there... Seems like in Gensokyo one could imagine themselves different, but I would probably be the same shut in i am right now

>>42287172
being in a new land with no way to get comfy easily will have an effect on a man that he'll have to do his best and squire new habits, even a shut in will become productive when they no where to go

some really good ideas here

My life has been over since 2013 when I rejected a vidya dev offer that could have me me a millionaire because I thought it was a scam because it came out of nowhere. mfw it ended being one of the best selling mobile games of all time.

>>42288372
>one of the best selling mobile games of all time
Doesn't necessarily means the employees are well paid, maybe you dodged a thankless job with very long and tiring hours

>>42288372
That was the year I found out about bitcoin and could have bought it for the first time at $65, I guess by your metric that was when my life ended

>>42271100

I don't know how it works in your country anon but in mine there is a clear difference between unemployment benefits and social aid. I have a friend in the social field that, like me, had to rely on social aid due to being an orphan and we came to the conclusion that being on social aid is litterally a full time job on its own. Unless you are a serial rapist migrant, then it's free real estate.

>>42288372

Don't get too mad over it. It's guaranteed it wasn't a commonly owned dev enterprise but the usual shitty corpo. They would have drained you dry and paid you the usual pay with maybe a single instance payment of a 13th month payment in exchange for a few years of your lifespan.

Truth is your life was ended long before that.

Hi. I am so drunk I can't help myself but to writ ea message to you.
I loved you. I loved you so intensely you knew. I waited for 2 years while you fucked every other option available. I went to bed crying wondering why you didn't find me desirable while you begged for love in other people's DMs.

With time I have come to learn, and accept, you are scum. As my mum would say "No le hables a nacos". You are the scum of the earth. You are a dishonest liar that would do anything for the person that makes him cum.

And yet... I still love you. None has made me happier. Yes. Still those nights where you promised I was your only one only to search for people the next day with a fetish for cheating.

You are scum. You don't care about anything for yourself. You don't care who you hurt if you get to cum, and your love is absolutely worthless if you get to ejaculate.

I know the names of 6 different people this year you have fallen in love with, and a total of 12 if we count other years. You are a scoundrel, a liar, a rat, a lying of scum and I love of you with alll my heart. May we never meet again.

Chingas a tu puta madre, hijo de la chingada, te opduo, me arruinaste la vida, y te amo mas que a nadie.

>>42297399
least dramatic spic romance

>>42297399
Is this about cuzzypuppy?

Not insane yet, wonder if I'll ever go insane, doesn't seem to matter how bad my dreams get.

>>42297399
Which vtuber did what this time

I really can't comprehend how menial wageslaves fucking do it for fucking years. Doing the SAME tedious shit for 8 hours 5 times a week. I mean, yeah, I got a loving family, a life, and passions what have you. These jobs though, quite frankly, embarrassing and beneath anyone who has any sort of self-respect. I'm not a NEET btw

>>42297563
Haven’t seen an Enma AI image posted in years.

>>42298309
Why not? People love routine and you zone out. For many of them the point is doing a menial mindless task that after maybe a year you do so automatically, it's like you're asleep the whole time.

>>42298309
I aggressively swap jobs every 8mo-2y to get better wages, but I tend to make my employer completely and utterly dependent on me so they're absolutely desperate when I leave. it's my only satisfaction in this meat farm

>>42298309
Around 10 weeks into any job, my brain starts going haywire feeling like it's trapped and I either turn my 2 weeks in or quit on the spot
I did that just last night in fact

>>42298309
>>42300053
what are your jobs

>>42300983
boring salaryman shit

Back from a month in Japan and now I'm returning to my neetbux ways, going to work on my drawing, model kits and general fitness.

>>42115168
played games & did reps

>>42299610
Must be great to be so dispassionate. I can't empathize unfortunately.

>>42306217
its like doing the dishes or cleaning your dick, just something you've done a million times and you'll do a million more

Got laid off work last night, so I'm not doing too great. Time to live off of coffee and rice for a few weeks until unemployment cheques come in.

>>42115168
you guys are my only frens

>>42314507
Hope you're doing well, fren