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File: 55 KB, 640x480, dadadannn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081006 No.4081006 [Reply] [Original]

Gentlemen, Umineko has been solved, clear evidences show us Beatrice's true identity: Beato is a teapot.
Exactly, a teapot.
EVIDENCES:
-In Ep 1 and so on, after the lunch tea is served. Killfest follows.
The teapot started it all, because poison was inside. Stakes? gore everywhere? Nay, illusions caused by poisoning. Note that everyone always dies.
-Ep 2, Shannon, to obtain true love with George, receives a "golden brooch" while walking on the shore.
Now, being the smart men we are, we know that this is delusional thinking. There's no way a servant could get her filthy hands on a perfectly crafted golden brooch. Or being at the beach, that is.
She is clearly in the kitchen, doing her chores, and has just put her hands on a teapot nearby. Since Kumasawa slack off, she have to keep it always near herself, then why don't trick herself making the teapot become a vessel of love?
Please recognize that George never confess his love near Battler, they are just fantasies, he was always asking the filthy servant his righteous tea.
-curious how Beato seems to know all the possible different tea labels.
-and Ronove, dammit, R07 said that he would give us a strong hint. He is a butler. well, demonic maybe, but damn, a FUCKING BUTLER. what does a butler do? COOKIES.
and guess what? cookies are served with the TEA.
-But, of course, the strongest hint has been shown in Ep 4: Battler, at the end, dies.
Alone. No animals involved. Other humans already killed.
What else, and I repeat, WHAT ELSE, could have killed a perfectly sane boy, if not a flying and spinning teapot?

>> No.4081011

BRIX

>> No.4081012

I admit I laughted

>> No.4081018

Fucking brilliant.

>> No.4081020

>nothing to do with gohda or nanjo
it's shit

>> No.4081022

Objection!

>Beatrice is a teapot
Your interpretation only suggests that she is an illusion caused by the contents of the teapot, not that she is the teapot itself.

HA!

>> No.4081038

Better theory than Shkannontrice found

>> No.4081042
File: 299 KB, 715x1000, 1262632463190.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081042

BEATO'S A COOKIE

>> No.4081048

It is always worth mentioning that Rosa is always commenting how everyone should try the new black tea she brought for the meeting.

>> No.4081049

>>4081022
OBJECTION
the teapo is made of a substance (a normal poison) that makes people hallucinate and die. just solidified and made into a teapot

>> No.4081053

>>4081048
that's how the 1st twillight was made in the first two games, Rosa is just a pawn though

>> No.4081062
File: 178 KB, 500x500, 1262545863539.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081062

>this theory

>> No.4081068
File: 6 KB, 404x337, thealmightyteapot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081068

>>4081053
a pawn....of a greater power

>> No.4081079
File: 12 KB, 231x227, eva 25 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081079

Makes more sense than Shkanon and Pony theory.

>> No.4081091
File: 97 KB, 1024x694, 2008122232230174_2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081091

Beato may be a teapot, but she is my teapot.

>> No.4081093
File: 49 KB, 278x278, 1262495052998.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081093

>> No.4081094

imokaywiththis.jpg

>> No.4081096

>>4081079
Wait. What is the Pony Theory again?

>> No.4081101
File: 264 KB, 1500x1500, 1262390836037.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081101

>>4081096
It's the Battler is into bestiality theory.

>> No.4081103

She's going to paint the gameboard black. With black tea!

>> No.4081104

>>4081068
in ep2 the real culprit is just using Rosa so she believes she's the culprit, so she can drive averybody out and are easier to kill
Genji, Kumasawa, nanjo and Jessica should be competent culprits, Shkanon just used as normal and killed later on

>> No.4081136

>>4081101
er..

>> No.4081149

>>4081006
FOOL! That's just what the Grandfather Clock wants you to think!

>> No.4081153

>>4081091
>>4081068
Fuck yes Teatrice, you are the best theory ever.

>> No.4081154

>>4081006
The copious amount of tea related scenes in EP5 further supports this theory.

>> No.4081156
File: 131 KB, 500x521, 1261422346204.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081156

>>4081096
Basically, six years ago Lolitrice traded places with Shannon during the family conference. Battler promised to save her and come riding in on a pony etc etc, but he was an oblivious twelve year old and didn't. Meanwhile, Beato thought he would save her as she got raped by Kinzo a lot.

Then, Battler came back and didn't remember her, because he was stuck in a state of hurrrr durrr.

>> No.4081158

>>4081154
The Teapot left the letter AND made the knocking sound!

>> No.4081160
File: 501 KB, 1872x1200, Pony-theory.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081160

>>4081136

>> No.4081163

>>4081156
Killing ensues.

>> No.4081176

>>4081156
okay, that makes much more sense, thank you

>> No.4081190

>>4081149
I smiled

>> No.4081192

>>4081156
The Pony Theory has now been superseded by the MPD/DID Meido theory, as the core of the Pony Theory has been confirmed in Episode 6, but everything else about it is most likely incorrect. Now it's likely that Lolitrice was the original personality of whoever Shannon/Sayo is, but that personality "died" when Beatrice was created, being replaced by the Shannon personality.

>> No.4081195

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PF4R4Z4K

For your photoshopping pleasure. A complete EP6 sprite pack, transparent backgrounds and all.

>> No.4081196

>>4081192
(And the creation of "Beatrice" was caused, directly or indirectly, by Battler not fulfilling his promise.)

>> No.4081197
File: 5 KB, 129x98, 1262545628635.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081197

I lol'd

>> No.4081202
File: 104 KB, 850x632, jessica.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081202

Good theory OP! I have to say, you guys sure are cracking this riddle. The darkness of the witch is being exposed through the light of your ideas and theories!

>> No.4081203

>>4081192
Man do I hate this theory. I don't even know why. I keep my shipping strictly meta-world, but this idea just bugs me.

I like the Manon Tunnels theory, hole-filled as it is.

>> No.4081204
File: 19 KB, 336x310, 1259204254529.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081204

>>4081197
But then I serious'd up for serious consideration of the theory.

>> No.4081208

>>4081202
Oh hi there, little miss Moon.

>> No.4081211

>>4081202
Goddamn you moon-chan.

>> No.4081213

>>4081197
>>4081204
Quick! Flip the chessboard over! Why would the teapot kill everyone? To what ends /jp/?! TO WHAT ENDS /jp/?!?!

>> No.4081217
File: 203 KB, 480x480, 1258065242756.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081217

I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T THINK OF A THEORY WHICH DOESN'T INVOLVE KINZO RAPING SOMEONE

>> No.4081222

>>4081217
Because Kinzo-rape related things are a given in all games and situations.

>> No.4081223

>>4081203
The annoying thing is, while the believability of the theory is quite low, Episodes 1 through 4 are packed full of hints towards Shkanontrice, and there's basically no evidence at all against it. (Episode 5 doesn't count against it because Lambda specifically stated that she created that game to seem like it gave hints like Beato's, but in reality it was meant to confuse you and take you further from the truth.)

>> No.4081227

>>4081217
Moon theory is based on someone just being a tremendous asshole. But everything is better with Kinzo rape.

>> No.4081242

>>4081160
Wasn't this theory discussed to death when episode 4 came out? Wasn't the general opinion that this was not Battler's sin because his sin only dealt with the island itself?

>> No.4081243
File: 42 KB, 704x396, ohsnap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081243

Well, anyone feel bad for Kanon? Either he's Shannon, or his girlfriend is a total bitch. Possibly both at the same time.

>> No.4081244

Kinzo is a pretty cool guy, he wouldn't do that.

Genji is the real rapist. I mean, think about it, it's obvious.

>> No.4081256

>>4081243
>Well, anyone feel bad for Kanon?
Why? Because it might be possible that George wants to bone him and that he's actually in love with Battler?

>> No.4081263

>>4081217
That image is the exact reason why.

>> No.4081268

My hatred towards multiple personalities in fiction knows no limits. I like crazy characters like Kohaku, but "killing one personality", "personality called ***", holy fuck.
That's worse than brain parasites, Ryuukishi.

>> No.4081279

>>4081268
Doesn't this break the rule about long scientifical explanations or something?

>> No.4081282

>>4081279
How so?

>> No.4081284

>>4081268
Listen, if you like Kohaku, Shkanon moon theory is the way to go. Hell, then you have a character TAKING ADVANTAGE of a mentally disabled person to kill people! Yaaaaaaaaaay!

>> No.4081288

>>4081242
What do you mean? Battler made the promise on the island, and at the last family conference he'd attended. And Episode 6 basically confirms it, considering it was stated that Beatrice was created to love Battler in place of her creator, who could no longer love him for whatever reason.

Battler makes promise to Lolitrice/original-Shannon -> Lolitrice/original-Shannon falls for him -> Battler has his family troubles and forgets about the promise -> at some point in the six years that pass, something happens that causes Lolitrice/original-Shannon to no longer be able to love Battler -> Beatrice is then created, which causes Lolitrice's personality to break/die and current-Shannon to be created -> at some point, Kanon is then created -> this all merely adds to the clusterfuck of problems that the Ushiromiya family has going on at the beginning of October, 1986, and when Battler finally returns that year, stuff happens and the mansion explodes.

>> No.4081296

>>4081282
Change that with "long psychological explanation".
And because DID doesn't work like that.

>> No.4081299

>>4081288
So...who set the bomb and how was the whole thing set? Kyrie?

>> No.4081309

>>4081268
no, SPACIAL brain parasytes is worse, it's ALWAYS worse

>> No.4081311

>>4081288
Oh right, and working in the Moon theory, you get Jessica taking advantage of Shkanon's mental problems, either via blackmail or just plain manipulation; it's entirely possible that, with Battler returning, the Shannon and Kanon personalities become unstable as "Beatrice" starts trying to appear, and so it's possible that Jessica's manipulations would cause even worse effects.

...That was probably not a good explanation, but yeah.

>> No.4081312

What the hell is the moon theory?

>> No.4081316

>>4081312
Jessitrice+ShaKanon I believe.

>> No.4081320

>>4081312
THAT FACE IS FUCKING CREEPY
ERGO CULPRIT

>> No.4081321

>>4081288
wouldnt that break the "long scientific bullcrap" ? DID doesn't quite work that way

>> No.4081322

>>4081312
Rokkenjima incident happened due to the moon crashing on the island.

>> No.4081325

>>4081312
YARANAIKA MOON, enough said.

>> No.4081326

>>4081299
There was no bomb, unless it was a simple one. In all likelihood, the boiler was what caused the explosion. You know the goats at the end of Episode 2? They represent the fire/destruction that result.

>> No.4081329

>>4081322
Umineko = Majora's Mask?!

Well...timeloops DO happen in that game.

>> No.4081330

>>4081284
No, not at all. If it's just Shannon being a tremendous hatred-filled bitch, awesome! But no Kanons and Beatrices inside of her, please.
I like evil-evil moon-chan theory.

>> No.4081332

"Moon Theory" is an invention of butthurt Man with the Twisted Lipfags to try to justify their desire to never be tricked with One Character = Another ploys ever again.

>> No.4081336

>>4081326
Also explains the horrid state of bodies after EP1 because of LOL! Eaten by demons.

>> No.4081341

>>4081296
>>4081321
Time for Magical (or, if you prefer, Delusional) DID theory: the Shannon and Kanon personalities each believe that the other exists as an independent individual within the same body, so they do. The instability and conflict is caused by the Beatrice persona being "awakened" by Battler's arrival.

>> No.4081346

Beato is a teapot
Ronove is a cookie
Gaap is a napkin

>> No.4081348

>>4081326
*a simple one that acted as a trigger.

>> No.4081349

>>4081341
What...like in Heroes?

>> No.4081351

are people really making theories from tarot cards made with fanart that have nothing to do with ryukishi07?

>> No.4081352

>>4081346
Lia is the table and you all fucking know it!

>> No.4081358

>>4081332
Actually, Moon theory is just suspecting Jessica, at it's core. The problem is that it works well with pretty much any Beatrice theory.

>> No.4081359

>>4081351
Anything he throws at us would be worse than our worse anyways, one way or the other.

>> No.4081363

>>4081351
No. Clearly, this line of theories are about tea.

>> No.4081366

>>4081349
Or like how Ange and Maria are able to "summon" the Stakes, in a sense.

>> No.4081371 [DELETED] 

>>4081352
And the Stakes are silverware!

>> No.4081374

>>4081366
Ange had, at least, 7 other personalities?!

I mean...I knew her childhood was fucked up but...

>> No.4081377

>>4081341
>Beatrice persona being "awakened" by Battler's arrival.
HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS.
wat ? by looking at this mess >>4081288 its "lolitrice" (original girl) that should be awekened.

>> No.4081379

>>4081351
Official fanart, one, and the theory it is based off of comes from a pretty decent thread which listed in detail Jessica's sketchy behavior. The card is really just a bit of flavor added on to a solid meal which is the theory.

>> No.4081381
File: 119 KB, 432x412, 1234209679984.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081381

>>4081341
>Time for Magical (or, if you prefer, Delusional) DID theory

>> No.4081382

I'm convinced that Shannon=Beato, and I will add to the existing evidence the following:

Shannon and Maria have remarkably consistent ideas of what beatrice is, and especially are the only people who believe in the "Golden Land." Even Kanon is skeptical of it, saying that he's "too worldly" for it.

Maria has played with Beatrice at the family conference for a long time. It makes a lot more sense for them to have talked with each other.
Also, Maria is the only person who's ever been killed mercifully.

>> No.4081383
File: 177 KB, 420x600, 8055183.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081383

Pony theory still lives. It just changed a little.

>> No.4081392

>>4081382
And it would only be a 50/50 chance between Shannon and Jessica to whom Battler could have made that 'promise' to anyway. Unless that promise was with George...oh god...

>> No.4081396
File: 186 KB, 1178x978, 8053952.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081396

>>4081383
Poor Battler being made into the heroine.

>> No.4081399

>>4081379

Sounds like bullshit to me and attempt to make a shitty character more interesting.

>> No.4081400

>>4081377
Beatrice was the one created to love Battler, though. Lolitrice gave up and separated part of herself, thus destroying her original personality, which became Shannon.

>> No.4081403

>>4081396
The surge of BattlerxErika art has been...frightening...

>> No.4081411

>>4081399
Well, that's like, your opinion, man. And I don't think any of us really have a particular love for Jessica, either.

>> No.4081413

>>4081392
No, the promise couldn't have been with Jessica. Whoever created Beatrice said that she would give Beatrice a "new personality", one fit to Battler's tastes. But Battler had said that he liked girls with personalities similar to Jessica's, so if it were Jessica creating Beatrice then there'd be no need for a different personality.

>> No.4081415

>>4081396

He's always been that.

>> No.4081418

>>4081400
>Lolitrice gave up and separated part of herself
Why would she do that ? that makes shit sense.

>> No.4081420
File: 398 KB, 700x1000, 1261092180184.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081420

>>4081400
A personality sacrificing itself so another one would have a chance at another life? Sounds familiar.

>You now realize that Ryu and Nasu are bros.

>> No.4081421

>>4081392
>And it would only be a 50/50 chance between Shannon and Jessica to whom Battler could have made that 'promise' to anyway.
Faggot in denial.

>> No.4081426

>>4081396
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER FEET

>> No.4081427
File: 106 KB, 343x440, ohdeargod.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081427

>>4081195
I love you

>> No.4081429

>>4081383
Y'know, I'm a bit reminded of how Kyrie said that Rudolf would always save her when she was in danger, and yet the time one has saved the other, it was Kyrie saving Rudolf. And in Episode 6, when Kyrie really did need help, it wasn't Rudolf who came to her assistance but Leviathan. Like father, like son, eh?

>> No.4081430
File: 402 KB, 959x1231, Erikadeath.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081430

>>4081403
there's been a huge surge of Erika art in general

She might be the most popular character now

>> No.4081432

>>4081403

Because Japan likes make Battler look pathetic. Well, not that he isn't pathetic

>> No.4081435

>>4081427
I DEMAND GLASSES!

>> No.4081436

>>4081383
well that was fast, he just put up that image and it already made its way to /jp/...

>> No.4081440

>>4081430

I doubt it. Japan always finds one thing they do art for after an episode and that's all anyone does.

>> No.4081448

>>4081418
There's a monologue in Episode 6, describing the creation of Beatrice, where her creator states that she "can no longer love Battler". No reason for that is given to us.

>> No.4081451

>>4081430
Well, you know, SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME.
YOU GIVE LOVE, A BAD NAME!

>> No.4081455

>>4081392

That's really fucking lame when you think about it.

>> No.4081456

>>4081420
Somebody wrote up a fragment of the Cross Counter/powerlevels scene using Nasu's style. It was awesome.

>> No.4081458
File: 262 KB, 579x650, batoro.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081458

It's quite simple really.

Shanon = Kanon

Kinzo = Rapist

Battler = Forgetful

Jessica = Crazy

George = Virgin

Rudolph = Awesome

Ryukishi = Troll

Just solved umineko.

>> No.4081461

>>4081458
Also, Beatrice = hatstand

>> No.4081465

>>4081448
>where her creator states that she "can no longer love Battler".

Probably died before ep. 1 started or something nobody is thinking of.

>> No.4081466

Fuck the retarded Shannonkannon, Shannontrice, Kannontrice, Jessitrice theories.

I support the Teapot.

>> No.4081471

>>4081458
It's quite simple really.
Umineko = Bad writing

>> No.4081474

>>4081448
I thought that text was about Moe Beato wishing to become complete again.
Also:
>can no longer love Battler
>make a witch personality to love him
oooooh what a bitch.

>> No.4081478

rofl so epic, OP *high five* :D

>> No.4081480

>>4081465
It's possible that the person died, but whoever they were, they weren't dead at that point in time and didn't sound like they expected to die any time soon.
inb4itwasAsumu

>> No.4081487

>>4081474

Battler loves the witch personality though. He could never love someone like Shannon. He wants to be trolled badly.

>> No.4081488

>>4081474
...Beatrice.
Listen carefully.
I will turn over my love for Battler to you.
Become the woman Battler desires.

I will give you the blonde hair he desires.
I will give you the blue eyes he desires.
I will give you the new personality he desires.
And... In place of me, love him.
And if possible, be loved by him.

I can no longer love him.
The feelings I could not obtain...the feelings I could not bear...please obtain them.

From this day forward, you are no longer the phantom of Rokkenjima who only plays tricks.
From this day forward, you are the ruler of Rokkenjima, and the one who waits for him to return until he fulfills his promise.

From this day forward, you will inherit that in my place.
Thus, from this day forward, you are no longer me.

I will push all of my suffering on to you... Please forgive me for being the only one to become happy.

From this day forward, you have the qualifications to detest everything.
You are the Golden Witch, Beatrice.

And someday.
Destroy everything, revive everything.
...Bless all lovers.

At that time.
...For both you and I to find happiness together...I will be wishing for from the bottom of my heart.

From this day on, you are not me.
From this day on, I am not you.
We will divide one soul, and share.
That naturally won't fill up one soul, but. (? not 100% sure about this line)
Surely it will allow (us/you/me? no subject defined) to see more dreams than a person.
May we be blessed...
My cute Beatrice...

>> No.4081492
File: 44 KB, 210x250, kohakuisagoodgirl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081492

>>4081458
>>Jessica = Crazy
Crazy in the light hearted shenanigans way, or in the I"M GOING TO KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY WAY?

>> No.4081501
File: 107 KB, 343x440, whathaveIdone.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081501

>>4081435

>> No.4081502

>>4081480

I refuse to believe George's fat ass was the reason someone gave up and moved on

>> No.4081503

>>4081427
That's horrifying. Make more.

>> No.4081504

>>4081492
Crazy in the "goddammit, my family is fucking stupid so I'm gonna kill 'em all" way, perhaps?

>> No.4081506

>>4081501
so moe~

>> No.4081513
File: 412 KB, 700x645, 08bfeecd4393f8b42ea0d8149d0248ca.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081513

>>4081492
CRAZILY IN RABU.

>> No.4081522

>>4081504
Yeah, this. Brace for cold-hearted impact.

>> No.4081526

>>4081504

She's fucking stupid too though. You guys are delusional. Jessica will remain useless and boring.

>> No.4081538

>>4081488
Fucking japs, fucking VN writers and their fucking monologues, fucking Ryuukishi and his Nasu-like tendencies.

>> No.4081541
File: 339 KB, 1000x800, 1261093117279.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081541

>>4081478
I believe you forgot your sage, good fellow.

I agree with this new theory. It also explains why Gohda is always so enthusiastic about serving tea.
"It's quite unfortunate that these things have happe- Hey guys, who wants tea?"

>> No.4081549

>>4081526
See, I am of the opinion that to dismiss legitimate concerns that make her sketchy by saying she's an idiot is delusional. Still, you are entitled to your opinion, but I'm not buying the stupid card. No one could be that stupid, imo.

>> No.4081561

>>4081488
So as i pray
UNLIMITED TROLLAN WORKS

>> No.4081565

>>4081538
LOCI AND SEAFOOD

THE STAPLES OF VNS

>> No.4081568

So, in episode two, Beato personalities awaken in Shannon and tells her to go get George (wait what), but then she awakens in Kanon personality as well and tells him/her/Idunno to go get Jessica, but Kanon says "fuck you" and gets in the argument with both Shannon personality and Beatrice personality. Damn I bet living like this is fun.

>> No.4081575

>>4081568
i thought that in DID a personality wasn't aware of the other. Im fucking confused.

>> No.4081579

>>4081568
>Damn I bet living like this is retarded
Fixed that for you.

>> No.4081583

>>4081575
They can be, but often aren't.

>> No.4081585
File: 252 KB, 961x634, 1262656089870.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081585

>>4081549

Are we forgetting who her parents are?

>> No.4081594

>>4081195
Awesome, thanks!

>Confirmation image is TEA9
Err... Eerie coincidence? Or is it the magic of Teatrice?

>> No.4081603

>>4081575
Sure. But let's repeat what everyone says these days "it works like that in fiction".
Anyway, 2nd episode. There's a lot of interaction between Shannon, Kanon and Beatrice in beginning. The fuck is that about?

>> No.4081604

>>4081594
I wonder what the significance of the 9 is.

>> No.4081610
File: 102 KB, 343x440, evakastle.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081610

>>4081503
I plan on it.

>> No.4081613

>>4081594
>Teatrice

I like it better than Bombtrice or ShKanontrice

>> No.4081621

>>4081585
It's precisely because of her parents that I suspect her. With Krauss and Natsuhi as your parents, you can get away with murder. And no, I don't mean that metaphorically.

But in all seriousness, just because her parents are dumb doesn't make her dumb, nor does it excuse her sketchiness.

>> No.4081622
File: 37 KB, 300x415, Cirno9_by_Marionette_ex.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081622

>>4081604

>> No.4081628

I swear that if R07 will show us that one of the tricks was the tea, I will freeze and remember this thread.

Also, screencapping for future use.

>> No.4081630
File: 85 KB, 900x644, 1251047456596.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081630

>>4081604

>> No.4081642

>>4081630
Ah, that's right.

>> No.4081654

>>4081630
Look at that baka.

>> No.4081661

>>4081628
sorry, but I thought it was obvious that the tea was a poison in ep 1 and 2

>> No.4081672

Isn't this supposed to violate Knox's decalogue?

>> No.4081682

>>4081672
I don't see anywhere it says that Beatrice can't be a teapot.

>> No.4081691
File: 26 KB, 300x440, DLANOR.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081691

>>4081682
Red truth, EFFECTIVE. Beatrice is indeed a TEA POT. I regret to SAY, however, that I SMASHED HER when I told you ABOUT the knox RULES. But at LEAST you still have ME, right?

>> No.4081702

>>4081672
nope Teapots are mentioned quite a lot in the novel.

>> No.4081704

>>4081682
Knox's fifth law states "no Chinamen" and Japanese are close enough. Therefore, no one Japanese can be the culprit.
Remember Kinzo's obsession with the west? The teapot was IMPORTED FROM EUROPE.

>> No.4081714

>>4081704
However, Knox's fifth is not included in the game.

Close call.

>> No.4081719

>>4081704
Chinamen were overruled by Ryukishi to fit erika, so the point still holds, also, who told you she isn't a japanese teapot for brewing japanese tea?

>> No.4081733

>>4081719
Because Beatrice is repeatedly stated to be western?

Also, Kinzo considers Asian shit to be horseshit. He's the anti-/jp/.

>> No.4081747

If this was proved true i would clap forever.
You really got me Ryukishi.

>> No.4081753

>>4081733
either way, the 5th rule isn't included
so Beato=TEAPOT is valid according to knox rules

>> No.4081778
File: 137 KB, 600x480, 1262207569007.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081778

>>4081714
Now we finally know why Knox's 5th was REALLY removed. It all fits, doesn't it? Actually, it's quite scary how well it all fits together. This theory is actually more plausible than Shkanontrice, Jessitrice, the Pony Theory, and many others. Teatrice is, without a doubt, the most plausible theory we have right now.

>> No.4081857

>>4081778
You are all alone on this island. Nobody else is here but you. Yet I am here now, and I will kill you. Who am I?

And then Battler drank the tea. Dear god.

>> No.4081863

>>4081006
Delicious

>> No.4081881

>>4081857
WHY DOES TEATRICE WORK SO WELLL

/r/ing more Beato-teapot shoops, they are delicious.

>> No.4081882

Shkannontrice creates a hole for any killer to be put into the game.
Kanon and Shannon are shown in front of the detective enough times.
Knox's 6th and 8th.

A troll theory that worked, I know.

>> No.4081886

Also, nothing other than humans affect the game.

I'm a stop having fun guy.

>> No.4081893

>>4081857
this is the definite answer, there's also the possibility that Battler was heating the teappot and as OP said it flew and killed him

>> No.4081899

>>4081882
> Shkannontrice creates a hole for any killer to be put into the game.
No, it doesn't. Battler and Beatrice made sure to seal that hole at the end of Episode 6, by stating in red that, "including [Erika], it's 17 people." (they said "you" instead of "Erika", because they were responding to her.)

>> No.4081902

This is the best theory ever. Good show OP.

>> No.4081922

>>4081886
then how do you want to explain everyone's deaths in the end?
The teapot was made by someone, therefore it's a human factor

>> No.4081937
File: 146 KB, 395x480, but_majimea5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081937

>>4081886
When was this stated, and who by? It's not in Knox's rules, and I don't recall it having been said in red or gold.

>> No.4081956
File: 176 KB, 573x480, ev2_akuwaraia6.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4081956

>>4081937
Episode 3. Guess who.

>> No.4081959

>>4081937
Stated in red by Eva-Beatrice. Then she tried to explain it away by claiming that a witch is just a human with magical powers.

>> No.4081970

how to archive the thread?

>> No.4081982

>>4081959
for this I redirect you to this person's post>>4081922
the teapot was created by humans, that red basically applied to animals and other things

>> No.4081987

>>4081899
Whether that is true or not doesn't really shake the truth that saying "Beatrice is Shannon" holds no weight, as there is no actual hints or clues to that fact, just conjecture without even glancing at Knox's rules. It is more reasonable to focus on the fact that Shannon and Kanon aren't their real names, so they have red text immunity. Not this random mess. For example, "Kanon is dead" can be interpreted as "Kanon shed his furniture name". And when people recognized him, it was him, but it wasn't "Kanon", but his original person. So if it's stated in red that "Shannon is dead", she might not be dead.

Granted, Shannon's name is fake, and her name is Sayu, but just throwing Beatrice breaks Knox's rules. You could say "Battler's real name is Anonymous, therefore Anonymous is the killer" and suddenly that's why Battler always makes it. WIthout evidence.

Also, isn't in EP 6, the thing you just quoted, there's red text saying there's no way Beatrice can be revived? If you can say "Kanon is dead" through my means, you can say "Beatrice revives" in my means. Which she doesn't.

>> No.4081992

>>4081987
That was referring to Meta Beatrice, you idiot.

>> No.4082000

I... I think I might actually believe this.
It's so stupid, and yet somehow makes more sense than all of this shkannontrice and kinzo doomsday bomb bullcrap.

Whatever the reality is, R07 is trolling everyone hardcore style.

>> No.4082005

>>4081970
http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
Thread id is 4081006, because sometimes some people aren't sure about that.

I suppose this thread really is worthy of archiving. It deserves to be remembered as the most plausible theory, after all.

>> No.4082008

>>4081970
4chan archive, left column, "request interface" etc..
learn2google

>> No.4082020

>>4082008
>>4082005
>>4081970
Easymodo, motherfucker, have you heard of it?

Are you all from /a/ or something?

>> No.4082026

>>4081992
Well, idiot and uninformed are two different things. Still, don't be nitpicky.

>> No.4082028

and if beatrice is THE island

>> No.4082029

>>4082020
Even /a/ knows about easymodo. They're just newfags.

>> No.4082039
File: 13 KB, 268x50, yhbt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082039

>>4082020

>> No.4082044

Requested three times, fuck yeah.

>> No.4082049

>>4082039
I am not used to this particular brand of trolling. Excuse me.

>> No.4082070

Oh shit, how do I update to inclued EP5?

>> No.4082083

I currently have episodes 1-4 on my computer... how do I update to include episode 5?

>> No.4082085

>>4082020
Anon asked how to archive, I told him how to archive. Is that really so bad? Of course I know about Easymodo, but that's not what he asked about, is it?

>> No.4082107

>>4081195
I normally don't post all that often, especially in Umineko thread since I try not to spoil myself (I'm on ep. 5), but I MUST thank you for the sprite pack. Made my day.

>> No.4082108

>>4082085
Actually, it was precisely what he asked about. Unless he wanted to archive it on his hard disk, that is.

>> No.4082119

Archival request #6 done. 1 more to go.

>> No.4082120

HOLY FUCK IT FITS. EPISODE 5 WHEN NATSUHI WAS IN THE GARDEN DRINKING TEA AND BERNKASTAL SAID IN RED THAT THERE WAS ONLY ONE PERSON THERE. FUCKING BEATRICE WAS THE TEA POT SO THATS WHO SHE WAS HAVING A TALK WITH

>> No.4082129
File: 32 KB, 770x289, hooleeshiit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082129

>>4082120
Why does this theory make so much sense!?!

>> No.4082131

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 7 times now.

Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 4081006

Please keep this page open until it stops loading. After the first archival the thread will be updated regularly until it dies.
After the archival the thread is waiting to be reviewed by the mods, which means it can take a few days until it is available in the archive.


Archiving posts, please hang on for a few seconds...
The thread has been added to the archiving queue.
Thread progress is captured automatically as long as the thread is alive.

>> No.4082136

okay 7th here, archived, now just waiting for the mods approval

>> No.4082162
File: 123 KB, 426x480, 1262672490145.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082162

>this thread
Amazing. Truly amazing.

>> No.4082166
File: 44 KB, 405x348, t-hanks1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082166

Men it's been a fun ride, it exceeded my expectations...

T. Hanks to all for the contribution, you made me smile.
>>4081195
gotta use them bro, gotta use them

>> No.4082185

Shannon = Kannon = Beatrice = Teapot

>> No.4082188
File: 136 KB, 622x480, goa_defa1b.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082188

>>4082166
Because it all fits. I don't know why, it just does. Everything now makes sense. I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if Ryukishi07 had been planning this from the start.

>> No.4082208
File: 198 KB, 496x474, be2_waraia7.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082208

>>4082185
No, just Beatrice = Teapot.
There's no longer even a need for Shkanon, now that I think about it.

>> No.4082226

Have to say, this thread is not particularly funny, and my samefag senses are tingling. But it would be nice to say Shkanonteapotrice, I suppose.

>> No.4082241
File: 64 KB, 640x480, 1262225529219.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082241

>>4082226
Here you go, I thought this picture seemed appropriate.

>> No.4082253

>>4082188
On the next interview. Ryu will hint that someone from the net managed to solve the mystery of the golden witch.

>> No.4082259

>>4082241
Ah, well played.
In all honesty, I think the B0MB theory was funnier to use. Shkanontrice is a cancer, so I'll take any alternative, but I remember how B0MB would always cause a shitstorm.
Liking the moon theory so far, though. I think we should focus more on the crimes themselves than who Beatrice is, because it always ends up being stupid when we do that.

>> No.4082262
File: 19 KB, 300x300, bulldyke is shocked.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082262

It all makes sense now....

>> No.4082280

http://americanart.si.edu/luce/object.cfm?key=338&artistmedia=0&subkey=922 - Look at those curves.

Beatrice the Golden = Gold Lustre Teapot ha ha.

>> No.4082288

Beats my theory of Umineko: Moonlight Bay Trilogy edition, where the seagulls have human intelligence and are escapees from Japan's experiments to find the perfect way to win WWII. They are ugly and deformed from all the torture performed on them, and would do anything to return the favor. Having chosen Rokkenjima as their base, they're removing the humans one by one.

The witches are organisms from a parallel dimension that take over host bodies to commit murders as well.

>> No.4082295
File: 3 KB, 250x242, 1259530764336.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082295

>>4082280
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
TOO MUCH SENSE

>> No.4082305

>>4082288
>>Moonlight bay
>>Moon
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>> No.4082313

So Gohda is the mastermind?

Awesome.

>> No.4082314
File: 147 KB, 395x480, but_aserua1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082314

>>4082288
Oh, hi there Ryu!

>> No.4082317

/jp/ seems to have gotten pretty good since Umineko became popular. Lot more discussion about things with content like Umineko's plot.

>> No.4082324

is this theory breakable ?...

>> No.4082344
File: 81 KB, 342x480, goh_omakasea1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082344

>>4082313

>> No.4082350

>>4082288
Gohda: Jessica! It was you, you're the traitor!
Jessica: Oh, Gohda, you fool, can't you see? The seagulls are the FUTURE! I am making it known that we can be useful to them when they take over.... why can't you understand that?
Gohda: You've gone too far Jessica! I can't let you liveeeeeeeeeee!

>> No.4082379

Gohda being a culprit would make me sad, but happy at the same time. I hated the culprit the minute I met the person in Higurashi. It made me laugh when I read a spoiler that they were the culprit. Honestly, when I started reading Episode 1, I hated Gohda from the start. His character sprite was (still kind of is) ugly, and I didn't like his cheery show-off character. I rather like him now though, but it'd still be great if he were the culprit. Even if teatrice were to turn out to be true though, it still probably wouldn't be him.

>> No.4082383

>>4082379
I like Gohda as a really good cook. I can't sincerely take him as a bad guy, I'd be too busy saying FUCK YEAH MAGICAL CHEF GOHDA.

>> No.4082452

Beatrice is a witch, she exists and is the culprit.

>> No.4082456
File: 141 KB, 426x479, be2_akuwaraia5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082456

So, let's think about the implications of this for a second.
If Teatrice turns out to be true, then did Battler fall in love with one of Kinzo's teapots, or just tea in general?

Did he accidentally drop Teatrice? Is that why he became really depressed? This is probably the case. If you drop a teapot, especially one of those really fancy ones, I would imagine they would be really hard to put back together. Teatrice would be gone, forever.

As for Maria, has she been conversing with a teapot? The candy and the umbrella, did Maria just find them lying next to Teatrice? This would make sense. Somebody could have left Teatrice and their umbrella outside before the storm started, and forgot to take them back in.

No matter how I look at it, this theory works. I can't find a flaw anywhere. It's like we've just solved the whole thing. I can't even tell if I'm serious or kidding anymore.

>> No.4082463
File: 147 KB, 395x480, but_futekia2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082463

>>4081956
Sorry, but it's all useless. Even if only humans can affect the game, we can simply say that Teatrice is contains the soul of a human (Beatrice's personality as we know) and therefore is human since in a meta-world such as this one the SOUL is what matters, not the container.

>> No.4082469

Didn't Battler give lucifer a tea set or something in one of those extra TIPS?

>> No.4082505

>>4082456

Perhaps, and he had forgotten about that long ago. Also, the teapot actually fits because that thing was there the whole time, and apparently knows the history of Rokkenjima, Ushiromiya, and its generations.

>> No.4082561

>>408246
Battler brandished the box he’d been hiding behind his back with a, “ta-dah!”

The store must have wrapped it, since it the packaging was neat in a way that was unlike Battler.
The wrapping must have been magical. It captured a person’s attention before they could ask what was inside. That’s how Lucifer felt.

“I thought candy was a little immature, but I didn’t know what sort of jewelry you liked. So, here. Since it’s tea, it’s something most people will like, more or less, and it’s still pretty fancy, huh? Do you hate tea?”

“N-no…I don’t hate it…”

“All right then! Open it. You’ll be amazed once you smell it!”

Since Battler was pushing her to open it, Lucifer reached towards that lovely wrapping paper.
Sure, she was interested in what was inside, but unwrapping something so beautiful seemed like a waste.
It was held in place by a thick, deep red ribbon, which was, in turn, adorned by a golden butterfly brooch.

“Huh? Was that always there?”

“!!”

The butterfly they thought was a brooch began to flap its wings, then took off.
Battler was shocked, but Lucifer, who had already guessed that this sort of trick would be forthcoming, was unnerved in in a different sense.
The golden butterflies scales scattered and took the form of the Golden Witch.

“Dwaah, what?!”

“L-Lady Beatrice?!”

“Battler———!! You didn’t buy that Mariage Freres for meeeeeee?!”

“W-why would I buy you tea?!”

“Huh? Ah…umm… But, but! Didn’t you get something for me for White Day?! I’ve been so excited! I’ve waited sooooo long for this day to come! And I saw you going into that lower level of the department store and picking out that expensive tea! And then, choosing that pretty wrapping paper in to show your appreciation for me! I was so sure it was a present for me! I was sure of it! And then, it wasn’t for me at all, but my furniture! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!”

>> No.4082598 [DELETED] 
File: 131 KB, 670x480, BeatoBoing.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082598

>> No.4082614

>>4082456
You know how Maria always talks to her little ceramic buddies? One of them could be a teapot!

>> No.4082618

>>4081006

Somebody get a silver spoon. I need to check for poison.

>> No.4082625

>>4082561
she wants battler to put it in her

>> No.4082632

>>4082625
So, just like the other 90% of the cast?

>> No.4082662
File: 384 KB, 228x160, 1259533010777.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082662

There's no Ushiromiya family, there's no mansion, there's no Kuwadorian.All of it was fantasy.

>Implying there's no 17 people

As well as Erika, the entire crew of the boat landed on the island.Or is the entire LOST cast

>> No.4082671

>>4081006

It's all Satoshi kun's dream anyway

>> No.4082693

>>4082671
Does that mean Kanon is Satoshi's self-insert?

>> No.4082706

>>4082632
Kinzo wants to eat dried tea leaves?

>> No.4082709

>>4082693
It's obviously Sakutaro.

>> No.4082719

>>4081006
>>4081006
>>4081006

Satoshi wanted to look pretty so he inserted himself as Furfur.

>> No.4082732

>>4082709
>>4082719
But Satoshi and Kanon have the same voice. (Fuck yeah Yuu Kobayashi.)

>> No.4082746

Ange is 6 years old.
The sin was 6 years ago.

Take of it what you will.

>> No.4082749

>>4081006

Furfur =Metakanon

Zapar =Metashannon

>> No.4082760

>>4082746
Battler fucked Kyrie 6 years ago.

>> No.4082796

>>4081006
Battler was 12 years old 6 years ago. Therefore Kyrie is the one who sinned.

>> No.4082921
File: 24 KB, 300x429, 5851b16488171ce745d41b933fc4ed2c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4082921

>>4081006

Blue truth EFFECTIVE! Your Theory FAILS.

>> No.4082984

You need reasons or explanations or shit to use blue text.

Explain why it fails, and explain it fast.

>> No.4083084
File: 217 KB, 512x384, kinzosama.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4083084

>> No.4083230

>>4083084
MOEBLOB KINZO~

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