/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I'd imagine that if you, as a human male, would somehow marry a youkai, she would be very possessive and clingy because she knows that one day you will die and leave her behind and she wants to spend as much time with the man she fell in love with, this can also apply to the vampires, gods, sages, etc.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

>>40104793
I think she would find a way to turn you into a youkai to keep as a pet/husband/son!

>>40104811
While that is a possible theory, I believe that she would still be possessive and clingy as in the back of her mind she will always believe that you are still human deep down and will still die much earlier then she ever would even if that is not the case. This just shows how deeply she cares about the man who won her over

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, in conclusion, marry youkai women

>>40104838
youkai are naturally clingy and extreemly possessive of what they own, who wants that?

imagine marrying Junko and accidentally calling her your mom instead of your wife haha

>>40107807
I wouldn't mind it

somewhat exhausting

>>40108371
I don't like how tricky she looks!

>>40107929
that would be just so silly haha, just image she grows more and more possessive and controlling each day in fear of losing you haha and the only way of stopping her is by giving her a son of her own haha

>>40104760
You'd need a lot of stamina. They can keep going longer than some human woman.

>>40114986
it's fine maybe

>acquire hourai liver
>gain immortality
>enjoy happy life
She will never let you go though.
just dont ask her how many kids she wants

>>40123894
Who are you quoting? But on your note you forget an important fact, you wouldn't be the one to acquire it, she would. I doubt she'd give her husband the option of immortality, you're getting it whether you want it or not.

>>40134068
Clearly the both of you would acquire it, its a team effort, you have to support your wife after all.
Surely she wouldn't keep you locked in her home and risk you starving to death while you have to wait for her to return.

>>40117642
haha what if every child you had was a duaghter and junko insisted that you keep trying again and again and again for all eternity

>>40140264
You think she would just give you this knowing smirk right after giving birth?
Also wouldn't her milk production go up every time?
Eternal life better come with good lumbar support.

>>40104760
If it was me, I would use my mortality as a way of getting things from her, I would make her get fat in the right places, I would make her get bigger tits, ass, and thighs than the ones in your picture OP, I would have as many children as possible with her before Komachi comes for me, I would single handily exterminate flatties from the gene pool. Gensokyou shall see a new horizon where flat women don't exist.

>>40140503
No
Milk production is mostly determined by consumption
Number of children will affect it only until the eldest wean off

Id imagine they are very clueless since they aren't custom to human things like "marriage". They wouldn't know what a wife is supposed to do most of the time.

>>40143364
You're not factoring in all the lunarian fertility meds shes chugging behind your back.

>>40123894
Houri liver is a existential nightmare. You're gonna be stuck here watching the heat death of the universe. Even the long lived youkai have a exit ticket where they cease existing if people stopped believing in them.

>>40143416
So you just teach them. You're the expert, clearly, so you can teach them anything you want.

>>40145937
If I remember correctly, the eternal life, like Kaguya, Moko, only happens after taking the 3rd sip. If you take the first two you only have eternal youth and Immunity to all illnesses.

>>40146003
I don't like Yuuka's grin here, it's scaring me

>>40104760
what a fatty
I want to bite her chubby belly

>>40151916
That's mean.
Just imagine how soft and comfy she is.
Imagine the warmth.
Why would you be mean to her?

>>40145937
Heat death is impossible if the immortal bodies can't be broken up.

>>40153911
Does that make your eventual fate any better? You'd still be stuck in an essentially empty universe.

>>40153931
I mean not "empty" exactly, there will be plenty of black holes and dark matter everywhere.

I want to marry the hag

>>40155798
That really doesn't make it sound any better. Getting spaghettified for years upon years really isn't my idea of fun.

>>40160124
Is your idea of fun posting on 4chan for the rest of your life?

>>40162730
maybe...

>>40160124
But cute youkai wife!

>>40107807
m-me...

>>40145937
Can't Kaguya make things last forever? Just get her to use her power of manipulating eternity on a few star systems and you will have plenty to do for all of existence.

>>40155798
Those would decay eventually.

>>40104760
I love how soft Yuuka looks in this picture, I wish I could sleep with her

>>40185976
You should ask her to exercise actually, don't you think?

>>40186381
Would exercise even do anything for a youkai?

>>40186381
But, I love soft puffy Yuuka

>>40186449
We can only hope so

>>40186468
Youkai need to be scary, this isn't scary

>>40186483
You can still be scary when you're a bit flabby

>>40104811
And when Reimu finds out about this?

>>40186527
YUUKA IS NOT FAT

>>40186527
I'm sceptical of this claim

>>40186685
Reimu cares about human villagers becoming youkai for the purpose of gaming the system. When you enter Gensokyo, don't become a human villager.

>>40186685
>>40186700
This. She didn't give a shit about Alice or the hermits.

>>40186690
It's all fun and games until the youkai of flowers makes sunflowers burst out of your chest like a discount chestburster.

>>40186700
Then you are food or you are returned.

>>40186737
That's the part where you just befriend (or become the apple of some youkai's eye) a youkai so they'll protect you. Reimu won't do shit if some hag decides to make you, a nonvillager their eternal sex slave/husband/personal body pillow. It means less incidents for her to deal with.

>>40186689
Yes she is!

>>40186483
She scares all the gay shit from the human world in that form.

>>40107929
Would she be happy or mad?

It would largely depend on the intent of the youkai in question. At least some of the yokai have shown an ability to blend with humans, with the vast majority of local humans none the wiser. You could have a marriage with a girl and live your whole life without ever knowing she was a youkai. Yeah it might be weird she doesn’t age, but hey, she’s Asian. Or she could adjust her appearance/illusion to fake her aging.
Assuming you know about what she is and perhaps even pursue her with that knowledge, a lot more possibilities open up. As >>40104811 said, maybe she wants to extend your lifespan to equal that of your wife’s and either directly gift you inhumanity directly from her or use other resources to bring about your ascension. Fortune Teller became one through his personal magic book and his suicide. With a literal who achieving it with relatively low material cost, it would be laughably easy with the backing of an immortal wife and the knowledge and instruction she could offer about how to do it. Some youkai (vampires) are contagious, and for everything else there's likely either a tale, book, or a scroll with the needed details.
Assuming you choose to stay human it could prove to be a one-sided relationship. She probably assumes she knows better than you on most things as she’s been living her life the same way for so long. She might be very insistent on how you do certain things, and you’re not going to be able to argue the point to someone so much more powerful than you. On the other hand she might also be accepting that as a human, you’re going to do stupid shit, and you’re going to learn, only really interfering when you run a serious risk of major injury or death.
Having children could be complicated depending on what degree of nurturing instincts she has. Also the question of how you are going to keep your likely very powerful half breed children in line. You may have to take up some youkai slaying arts to spank your kids when they start misbehaving or testing your authority. Albeit maybe having kids isn’t the nicest thing you could do to her, as they will also age and die, if somewhat slower than yourself. By year 500 her husband would have been dead for a while and her kids would be constant reminders for her, as they start to reach the limits of their lifespans as well.
If she likes you but is disinterested in her children it could go two ways. First is they just learn how to interact with humans from daddy and they figure out the youkai half on their own. If your kids develop half blood traits later in life or they manifest during stressful situations you could be left handling an incident with second hand knowledge. Your daughter comes back with slit pupils and a set of serrated fangs, crying because she bit a chunk out of her boyfriend in a heated moment, and she doesn’t know why her body suddenly grew extra organs and a taste for human flesh. Or another youkai decides while her mother isn’t in the area that the half breed girl’s liver would probably be more filling than a regular human’s. Your daughter fights it off but the powers summoned to win the fight leaves her with a drastically changed body and craving for violence, and all your wife bothers to say is “oh that’ll fade once you turn 50, the bloodlust I mean, the physical changes are permanent,” before returning to her book, and now you have to explain it more in detail to your kid with only second hand knowledge.
The more I type this out the more I think just becoming a comparable youkai is a more stable way to manage such a relationship.

>>40193650
Some youkai are better marriage and mom material than others

>>40203304
innovative tactics used to pacify the grue

This brings up some questions that need to be addressed about Gensokyo non-human dating scene.
1. Who are Gensokyo's top bachelorettes (by popular vote according to human men in the village)?
2. Who would make the best wife?
3. Who would make the best mother?
4. How would whoever you pick to be your wife and your child get along after you bite the dust?

>1. Who are Gensokyo's top bachelorettes (by popular vote according to human men in the village)?
1.Kaguya - they will simp for her until the end of time
2.Byakuren
3.Keine
4.Miko
5.Komachi
6.Kasen
7.Alice
8.Erin
9.Yuuka
10.Eirin
>2. Who would make the best wife?
Kasen
>3. Who would make the best mother?
Keine
>4. How would whoever you pick to be your wife and your child get along after you bite the dust?
I would probably still go with my favorite, Meiling. Assuming he/she gets a job at the SDM, they would get along. Other than that, she's too loyal to Remi to prioritize the child over her obligations and that might drive a wedge between them.

>>40204372
Ran would be best wife
Yuuka would be the most nurturing mother
Yuuka would be heartbroken but she would keep her sunshine safe

>>40204372
Alice made this post, there's no way Alice would place anywhere on a list of top bachelorettes. You did good placing yourself at number 7 Alice, but you're still thinking too highly of yourself.

>>40205103
anon seething over alice chads

>>40204372
For best wife, it'd probably have to be someone strong or feared, so either Yuuka, Ran or Yukari
Keine or Kasen
I'll just go with Aya since she is my first favourite non-human. I'd imagine the relationship between Aya and her kid would be kinda like hers with Hatate where its a rivalry for who is better, that would make them split apart when I'd die

>>40205103
It's based on what the men of the village would likely vote on. That's affected by who they may actually know and what their reputations are. Alice puts on puppet shows for kids and is good at house work. That, being cute and not being outwardly hostile to humans are probably all you need climb that high on the rank.

>>40205424
I wonder how accepting the tengu would be in regurards to half-breeds. You see how rank matters among crow and wolf tengu. Would Aya risk her social standing, even if it is her kid?

>>40205897
Would they be able to tell if the kid is even a half breed? Do tengu half breeds get born with the funny hat?

>>40206576
Only one pointy ear.

>>40204372
>erin
>eirin
ok am i being retarded, who the hell is number 8?

>>40207804
Can't believe they let Eirin on the list twice.

>>40207735
Cute birth defect

>>40205897
Alice is a creep and a weirdo and this is obvious to all who see her

>>40204372
Yukari would be questionable
She'd be nurturing, but would raise them as youkai and neglect their human side further than the bare minimum to function
She thinks very highly of herself and wouldn't want her blood wasted on an inferior existence
At least you'll be able to stay involved, as Yukari would never allow you to die from old age, the day she got pregnant you became hers forever

>>40210798
she has also been shown to shit the bed and be vulnerable, so how hard would it be to break into her and let you influence her to at least let you nurish that human side of your children?
You are the one who conquered her heart after all.

>>40143364
>Milk production is mostly determined by consumption
haha maybe i would have to breastfeed from my loving wife every day then not in a weird way or anything just to keep production high haha

i sure hope a hag youkai doesnt kidnap me and turn me into their husband that sounds awful!

>>40212787
Same, that sounds so bad i totally don't want yukari to kidnap me and make me her little pet that she sleeps with every night, hugging so tightly with so much love and care while feeding me with her breast milk.
That would be awful, horrendous even

>>40213674
contain your degeneracy
otherwise I will be forced to upstage you with unbirth, and nobody wants that

>>40205897
> It's based on what the men of the village would likely vote on
Then why is Yuuka on there?

>>40215588
danger is sexy, and few are as dangerous as Yuuka

>>40210798
She sounds very possessive.

>>40215398
>and nobody wants that
Speak for yourself. The best place in the world is inside Ran's womb.

>>40217320

Wait i have a Question
If you like Ran are you a Furry?

>>40217504
Ignoring the cringe unbirth but always consult the guide.

>>40215398
Hmmm, that sounds Wonderful

>>40217514
God dammit i can't call my friend a furry anymore

>>40217504
The chart of >>40217514 doesn't lie. Ran is certified non-furry. And unbirth is patrician.

>>40217538
I kinda like Ran now, just from seeing this picture

>>40217571
most comfy hu

>>40217593
I have sadly succumbed to the cute Semi-furrys it's just to cute to handle

>>40215588
She comes into the village and doesn't murder the townsfolk or wreak havoc, which makes her seem approachable or like the the rumors about her may be exaggerated. Even still, people know how dangerous she is, like >>40215621 said. Men who are interested in youkai want that element to them, but don't necessarily have a death wish. She probably has a sizeable following in the village, but few men with the balls to approach her.

>>40217521
i'm sorry but please fucking go back to wherever you came from

is it possible to be married to both Yukari and Ran and idk have loud sex with both of them giving Chen imsomnia because of the noise

sharing a life with them seems quite nice and comfy
ignoring the fact that yukari is kinda fucking evil sometimes, but nothing you cant fuck out of her

yeah you cant call yourself a man if you don't mating press the evil out of her

>>40225074
Yukari can't be a monster if she's too busy being mommy

>>40216345
Gappy is a keeper
once she sees someone she likes, she holds on tight and never lets go

>>40104760
You would literally die before any of this happened.

Outside World humans aren't protected by the spell card rules, they'd just kill you before you can even see them.

They aren't humans, they don't think like humans, and they're dangerous as fuck.

>>40227240

>>40227240
The heart wants what the heart wants
And her heart wants (You)

>>40227314
No.

>>40225070
That's not possible, because Chen will join in if she's feeling neglected.

>>40227240
Dumb grimsokyo poster

>>40227384
Dumb fanfiction poster

>>40227408
Canon Gensokyo is not a place where humans are senselessly slaughtered every day. The vast majority of threats are implied, and it is certainly not the focus of the series. And besides that this thread is clearly more concerned about the Cutesokyo side of things, a concept I know is difficult for Grimsokyo posters to understand since they feel the urge to insert themselves into every conversation.

One day you'll grow out of liking Koshi's Heart Throbbing Adventure

>>40227384
It's not grim when it's literally canon.

>>40227418
A group of outsider humans literally all get murdered one by one in DiPP, what do you mean.

Villager humans don't get killed yeah, but outsider humans do.

>>40227450
DiPP was one of the earliest things in modern Touhou lore, and the original story quietly tossed to the side in C63. And again, look at the vast majority of official Touhou media ZUN has made. There's never a focus on how youkai plan to slaughter and kill humans. Forbidden Scrollery has probably been the darkest showcase into the world of Gensokyo (Akyuu's book is not only biased but also edited by Yukari who wants humans to generally fear and respect youkai) and even that series is fairly tame, and shows humans and youkai working and interacting together.

Official Touhou is closer to Cutesokyo than Grimsokyo. If you like Grimsokyo interpretations though that's not an issue, black Tewi and all that. But why the fuck do you people enter threads like this to insist your interpretation is canon?

>>40227555
>Official Touhou is closer to Cutesokyo than Grimsokyo
bc we see it from perspective of big players

If outside world humans are treated as just walking happy meals with no Spell Card rules protecting them, how come Zoomireko is just fine?

>>40229359
She literally has super powers

>>40229461
And? Still doesn't explain why everyone still plays fair with her instead of just ganking her.

>>40229556
Nobody would wanna share, they'd all try taking her meat all for themselves which would lead to infighting
And Sumeriko could always just teleport somewhere else, if Seija could avoid capture by the whole of Gensokyo then Sumi could

>>40227339
i will NOT have sex with my cat daughter (foster)

>>40231655
good luck getting to sleep when there's a cat in heat yowling outside your bedroom all night

>>40231655
You're implying you have a choice here.

>>40231858
maybe when she grows up

not anytime soon though

all of the babies. may the world drown in foxy progeny

>>40227319
either you give her a baby or she'll make you her baby

>>40227555
blow it out your ass

>>40233964
/jp/ intellectualism

>>40233964
Dumb grimsokyo postwr

Cutesokyo: gay
Grimsokyo: cringe
Bigtittyyoukaiwifesokyo: canon

>>40238101
I can live with that.

>>40227555
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Yukari kidnaps humans from the outside world to become food for youkai?

>>40244942
just gangbangers and the suicidal
"people who wouldn't be missed"

>>40244942
Prisoners and the suicidal. I think it's implied that she's part of the reason the suicide forest is the way it is.

>>40245632
So if you went to Japan and wandered around that forest for long enough, you'd get delivered to your cute youkai wife?

>>40245858
Just fall asleep in a shrine. Less likely to get mistaken for lunch. Or run into a corpse.
>captcha: GRGAY

>>40186700
Would Reimu be alright with you and your new wife becoming a yokai producing factory?

>>40246232
depends on who that youkai is
if its a weak one, she'll intervene, but if its a powerful youkai like Yukari or Yuuka printing copies, she'll have to accede

just breed reimu too then, you'd bet after all the years of dealing with youkai bullshit all she wants is a soulmate she can open up and be vulnerable to, the perfect role for a healthy young human male outsider

>>40246528
Hmm, what if you married a yokai woman waited until she turned you into a yokai before killing her and impregnating reimu instead?
Would Reimu kill her yokai rapebabies?

you have to remember reimu is still quite the inexperienced maiden, she doesn't know about all the small little things about being a woman
expect yukari and ran to come in trying to help her win you over
And while they're at it, breed them too.

>>40246528
How to breed the moo?

>>40250824
Insert tab A into slot B, repeat until fertilization takes place.

>>40246528
Hmh, yes, yes.

>>40253520
I wish Roki went back into making doujinshi, same as Itou Life

>>40256155
I miss his Alice and Sanny doujinshi ;_;

>>40256155
Itou Life became a vtumor and is making millions virtually crossdressing
Disgusting

>>40258850
really? what a shame
He used to draw the cutest Patchu

>>40253520
How to tell if she's been sufficiently fertilized?

>>40264469
I suppose you could visit the clinic to get a pregnancy test or something, but the proper way is to keep trying until she starts showing signs of pregnancy.

>>40264533
What a lewd body.

Would patchy be a good wife and mother?

>>40146238
So each sip is supposed to prevent a certain type of death? First from age, second from illness, and third from all types?

>>40229619
Except they literally capture her at the end of her debut game.
Keep trying.

>>40268896
Cannon Patchy would probably forget she has kids or have Koakuma play babysitter

>>40269149
>Cannon Patchy
?

>>40269260
Well, it's not impossible that she might possess the lost part two of "Ars Magnae Artileriae".

Which youkai would be the best mom?

>>40275256
Nemuno.

>>40275256
Yuuka
best flower would be the perfect wife and mother
however, the requirement is being a master botanist, for only one of those could win her heart

Letty needs a cuddle friend in these harsh summer days, one with whom she can split the painful tasks of getting food under that scorching heat as well, but most importantly, a soft Anon that'll have arms & legs wrapped around him for hours every day.

>>40281086
Damn, I'm a total mathfag. Is there any hope?

>>40275256
Byakuren.

>>40104760
I think being married to Koakuma would be nice. She’s smart, industrious, and would be a great mother, so long as it didn’t interfere with her duties as librarian. You’d need to take some kind of job in the Scarlet Devil Manor maybe, with all that entails, but it’d be worth it to read to your kids every night with your wife.
>tfw in your thirties and still not married, when you’ve always wanted kids
It hurts.

>>40281266
well if you became a beekeeper that might save your chances of having green haired kids

What touhous have the mombod?

>>40283760

>>40283760
What is a mumbod?

>>40283760

>>40283396
That's what I'm planning to do anyway. Does she like floral mead?

>>40281138
>a soft Anon
So she's into fat guys then? I'm a fat manlet, I'll be her teddy bear.

>>40281138
Imagine hibernating with Letty.

>>40288514
As long as you're sweet, absolutely. You can enjoy the comfort of one another's company. She especially needs it when it's so hot outside, it can get her a little sad, so on those days, you've got a cuddling duty to fill.

>>40281138
I want to build a walk in freezer for my yuki onna wife!

>>40289051
Would she still accept me if I'm rather firm and thin, but would love to cuddle with a soft girl?

>>40289425
As long as she can cling on to you affectionally without you being rude to her, like calling her a fatty or something, she'll accept you.

>>40289654
She would accept you even if you were a little mean to her. She knows that Mai is just a tsundere who craves affection.

>>40104760
Koishi would be an interesting one. Getting to her would be very difficult, but once impregnated, her maternal instincts would take over.

>>40291091
Would Satori be a good aunt?

>>40285921
>>40285966
I love haghus

>>40296738
Probably yes, if she sees her sister happy.

>>40290137
Don't push your luck, Mai gets away with it because Letty knows how she is. Catch Letty in a bad mood & be rude to her, and she'll give you a very different kind of hug. One you'll never recover from.

marrying ushirogami not actually be wholesome. if we get rid of her scary faceless hairy face and one eye thing and turned her into a waifu. everytime you hesitate about pursuing your goals she will scary into moving forward because she wants to leave positive impact on your life and doesn’t want you to stagnate

>>40301975
can actually be wholesome****

>>40289425
If Letty did that to me I would definitely get a boner

Would Yachie be a good wife?

>>40309842
If she likes you sure! But she's still an evil lady!

>>40309842
Only for you. She'd be be nasty to others.

i want to knock up some youkai

>>40311705
Youkai wombs are the ideal environment for human babies

>>40311705
You will father many half-breeds.

>>40309842
Depends on your definition of a good wife
https://archiveofourown.org/works/37786300?view_adult=true

>>40315140
Little willy

>>40310058
>>40310273
Hot

>>40315144
That was a nice story.

>>40325105
All of that guy's stories are like that - he portrays 2hus as intimidating yet alluring and sweet once you get close.

>>40325448
Good choice.

>>40325448
That is how all 2hus work, I don't get if it's head canon or not

>>40289051
I always liked winter more anyway.

Breeding an army of half Yokai with my Yokai wife so we can destroy the Harukai shrine and Reimu for good!

Give Chen some siblings.

Turning evil youkai into mom youkai!

Which youkai would really be able to have the evil dicked out of her?

reproduce

>>40146238
if you chug the whole thing at once, is that technically only one "sip?"

>>40352685
not a lot of them are just plain evil except a few and i don't think someone like Seiga could be dicked to the path of righteousness

>>40353165
Yes she could! Give Seiga a happy married life that incorporates taoism and her wicked stuff to make her a happy and content wife!

>>40347316
Lots of them

>>40352734
pipe foxes are horrible creatures and you should not impregnate one

>>40351475
All youkai should be mom youkai