/jp/ - Otaku Culture

No.

Sure, I imagine she'll croak soon, so when that old fart goes I get all of her stuff.

The question here is: Would Yukari marry any of us?

The answer is a resounding no.

>>3943371
Her futon and pillow?

>>3943366
Yes, gladly, she is the best girl in Touhou

>>3943372
Why not? When she gets bored of her new husband she would just eat him. Then repeat.

I don't want a woman who'd cheat on me using Rinnosuke's dick.

Yukari is too old for me!
I marry my cute Flandre!

If I ever got bored of even the most extreme sex, I'd look for her. Stop sign up the ass while she gaps in Lovecraftian tentacle horrors sounds a bit beyond me for now.

>>3943427
They are both many centuries old. And you get Ran and Chen in the package with Yukari. Besides Yukari look 20, 25 at most.

But you would get eaten/vaporised after few days anyways.

>>3943375

And the keys to Gensokyo.

>>3943366
YES YES YES OH GOD YESSSS! ;_;

I would.
And I would go at it until my penis disintegrated.

>>3943492
>>3943375


Anonymous: Gap Lord of Gensokyo

I can imagine the girly screams now.

>>3943371
If by soon you mean few centuries...

>>3943366
If she wanted it, and was real, sure, why not.

But I'd probably bore her to tears, and so would any of you, I cannot even begin to imagine how to entertain a thousands of years old border youkai.

>>3943506

He can go to Eirin and get his life extended.

Then one day, while Yukari is eagerly riding Anon, she has a heart attack and collapses.

Anon receives the Keys to Gensokyo and the keys to Chen and Ran's chastity belts.

>>3943518
I'd introduce her to Touhou.

>>3943521
You are assuming she wouldn't get bored of him first and eat him.

Would you marry Yuuka?

>>3943536

According to you guys, Youkai don't really eat people anymore, and they peacefully co-exist with humans.

>>3943548
It's true.

>>3943548
LOL what? Who the hell thought this shit up?

>>3943558

ZUN, apparently.

>>3943558
ZUN did. It's not his fault you ignore canon.

Would you now?

>>3943565
Canon? What's that?

>>3943567
JHADSJIOFAIOSDHF

OH MY GOD YES I'D DO MY BEST ;____;

>>3943565
Now this sucks. Where are my maneating lolis...

>>3943579
Little brown Tewi to the rescue

>>3943567

PCB Yukari is the best Yukari. The purple dress is infinitely better than the pink and purple apron design.

>>3943592

>niggertewi.jpeg

BARACK YAKUMO FOR PRESIDENT OF GENSOKYO

>>3943600

Biggest disappointment in the history of politics I've been alive to see. Giving into the opposing party who's only goal is to destroy him.

>>3943592
Why is she always so slutty...

>>3943600
Fuck no, Gensokyo does not need Bush 2.

>>3943615
>>3943616

Also, slave to the Jews.

>>3943561
Eh? So Gensokyo turned into a happy land where everyone live in peace?

Shit sux

>>3943600

Biggest disappointment in the history of politics I've been alive to see. Giving into the opposing party who's only goal is to destroy him. Also, too afraid of the political backlash to change the shitty war policy, and in many ways expand it.

>>3943633
... Dude, your grasp of politics is tenuous at best. Either shut up about it or go read more.

>>3943633
Lemme guess, redneck?

>>3943633
He's giving into everyone, including russians. And he get Nobel prize...

Nigger president FTW!

>>3943630
It's been that way, for the most part. Yukari and friends wiped out most of the youkai that opposed Gensokyo before it was even made.

>>3943645
Lemme guess, nigger?

>>3943646
I'd rather have a president that accepts the faults of his policies and country than

"You're either with us, or with the terrorists"

>>3943656
Except that in almost every game there were some youkai that wanted to hunt down and eat humans.

And Yukari was doing that too.

>>3943646
>He's giving into everyone, including russians.
Nothing wrong with Russians. They are pretty much incapable of being the Evil Empire of Doom at this point. Chinks would be way more dangerous, if they weren't passive in the war department. So the only problem these days are arabs.

>>3943662
HO HO HO, I WAS RIGHT!

LOOK AT THAT REDNECK!

>>3943672
has obama done ANYTHING you like other than make pretty speeches?

>>3943673
In every game, they're using danmaku. Play-fighting is not war.

Get your faggot politics out of my /jp/.

>>3943672
Ok now, how is he doing that? Up to date he's only been betraying US allies and licking asses of russians and chinese while making a laughing stock of himself and his country. Oh and Nobel Prize committee too.

>>3943679

Reversed Bush's executive order on stem cells.

If you include the democratic senate and house in general, there's a bit more

>>3943683
Because playable characters are strong. If they were normal humans they would get eaten by the likes of Rumia.

>>3943633 here.

Though I hate the defied political party system, my views are clearly democratic, if not along the lines of Gore Vidal.

Campaign Obama was a better Clinton. Now he's a wimp mixed in with a Neo-con war mentality.

>>3943706
I'd forgotten about that. Too bad every good thing he does is buried under a ton of shit.

Ran > Yukari

AMERICAN POLITICS ARE NOT FUCKING /JP/, GET THE FUCK OUT.

Fucking Obama, he's everywhere...

wouldn't the world be a much better place if countries settled disputes the way Touhous do?

"FUCK. WHO THE NIGGER TURNED THE SKY RED. IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT, CIRNO"
"wakarimasen, lol"
"HOLY FISTFUCK, IT WAS REMILIA. BRB, SPANKIN' DAT HO."
"aw dang. i gots spanked. dw, i'll get rid of the mist ;_;"
/tea

>>3943724
>>3943743

lol

now /jp/ relevant again

>>3943743
i, too, wish disputes could be solved with a rousing game of laser tag

>>3943387
Zogi, the High Priest: Do you, Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?
The Emperor Ming: Of the hour, yes.
Zogi, the High Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?
The Emperor Ming: Certainly!
Zogi, the High Priest: Not to blast her into space?
[Ming glares at Zogi]
Zogi, the High Priest: Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her.
The Emperor Ming: I do.

>>3943707
Anyways how do youkai eat humans? Jump at them and eat them alive? Cook them up? Suck life energy or something?

>>3943770
It depends.

>>3943770
Feeds off of semen.

>>3943770
It really does depend.

>>3943838
So human males are like cows in Gensokyo? That explain why we don't see them too often.

>>3943770

Highly variable.

Kappa tend to eat children whole. But for adults, they settle with sucking out the soul through the rectum. Not to say Nitori would ever hurt a fly, of course.
Nekomata and - to some extent - kitsune tend to stash the bodies of people they kill to consume later, and usually over a long period of time. I'm not sure if that only applies to people they kill in order to take their place, or to random victims in general. Should be noted kitsune are schemers and usually don't kill people unless the situation calls for it - for food, they tend to prefer tofu for some reason.
Oni are maneaters, but the specifics vary. Random kills are usually not eaten - most often victims will be spirited away and prepared before being butchered and cooked. As for the rare varieties of oni with a taste for human souls, they are required to break open the body in order to extract the soul.
Just to mention a few.

As can be expected, mythology only rarely records youkai preying on other youkai.

Some youkai feed off emotions like surprise.

Some feed off faith.

Call them monsters who deny gods, call them gods, they are one and the same! Youkai!

Getting eaten? In China, people eat youkai.

>In the time of the First Ruler of Wu, Lu Ching-shu was Grand Protector of Chien-an Commandery. Once he dispatched a man to cut down a great camphor tree. Few strokes of the axe had fallen before blood suddenly flowed from the trunk. When it was finally felled, a creature with the face of a man and the body of a dog came forth.

>Ching-shu explained, "This is what is known as the p'eng-hou." He had it steamed forthwith and ate it. Its flavor was the same as dog-meat.

>The Pai-tse T'u* says: "The spirit of trees is called p'eng-hou. It appears much like a black dog with no tail and can be steamed and eaten.

>>3943885
Gods are not youkai!

>>3943899

If it flies and isn't an airplane, it's food.
If it swims and isn't a submarine, it's food.
If it has legs and doesn't come from Ikea, it's food.

That doorguard must be easy to feed.

>>3943899

>eating Youkai

Lightyears ahead of you, Brosophocles.

Who wants the Great and Wise Rump Roast?

>>3943921
The Great Youkai Cookbook (which is apparently what Bai Ze Tu was. ) was written by a hakutaku, you abominable cur. Stop posting the same shit again and again and go expand your trolling repertoire.

>>3943366
OH YES I WOULD

>>3943937

> Stop posting the same shit again and again

Japanese bird....


...cooking spaghetti.

>>3943907
You fool! They are! What do you think "becoming a living god" entails?! It's no different than abandoning your humanity to become a magician youkai!

>>3943948

Hold up.

This is now a Japanese Bird thread.

Because of this gentleman: >>3943937 who so kindly reminded me of our duty to repost the same things as often as possible.

Japanese Bird Cooking Spaghetti.

>>3943967
You can't change the topic of the thread like that! Everyone would get confused by not seeing the parrot as the starting picture!

>>3943967
I will assist with reposts.

>>3943972

Well, there's only one thing we CAN do, and that is post some more Japanese Bird.

Cooking Spaghetti.

>>3943971
Japanese bird cooking spaghetti

>>3943974

Excellent, we have Sacchin-Chin.

Now someone post Japanese Shiki Killing Servants.

Venezuelan bird with a berret

>>3943977

JESUS FUCK ARC. WHY DO YOU DO THIS SHIT?

>>3943991

Japanese Bird Cooking Spaghetti.

>>3943999

King.

>>3943948
It entails gathering faith. That's all a god is.

you are now noticing the frog is doing an アヘ顔

>>3943366

Ran already did.

The shikigami contract was just so they could share their power on top of FURRY SEX.

>>3943967
You cancerous nigger.

>>3944009
And what, pray, does being a youkai who gathers surprise entail?

>>3944024
It entails being Suika. Kogasa doesn't GATHER surprise, she CAUSES it.

>>3944020

Shiki can kill servants. Discuss.

Rika.

Miko Cirno casts out the troll spirits haunting this thread.

Arc, careful. We still need you to complete the whole lunar war compendium.
You won't be able to do that if Anon snaps and kills you. Believe me - what Shiki can't do, Anon can.

>>3944043

> We still need you to complete the whole lunar war compendium.

Banned by order of Anon as fanon bullshit. If I do complete it, I assure you that /jp/ shall not see anything of it.

>>3944043
There's a pretty large list of things Shiki can't do, you realize. I wouldn't give Anon such superpowers so easily...

>>3944046
You're making me sad. Why are you so mean in troll mode?

>>3944046
UNBANNED

>>3944056
>>3944053

One, because Anon is regularly a dick to me, and I am merely returning the favor in kind.

Secondly, I like how Anon's orders to me change so regularly. One minute he demands Japanese Bird and the next he rages over REPOSTS. /jp/ was built on reposts. What am I to make of all this?

I think I shall go crack open a tall, crispy can of Coors and mull things over.

>>3944068
Drinking is bad for you!

>>3944079
But only if done in excess, and not in moderation! Don't overdo it and harm yourself!

So enticing :(

>>3944182
Emoticon faggot.

>>3944182
Come on~

>>3944068
OH SHIT DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS STOP THE PRESSES.

>>3944068
That's because you're a troll.