/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Rape the maid

Wonder when the hell I got a job.
And why it was at an office building rather than as a gravedigger.

show my horn to her

At that size would she notice me beating it in her hair?

Get impaled, die a slow and painful death by moe

>>3931329
At that size, her hair would be beating you

I pull out my sword and shield.

>>3931358
I think I would be ok with that.

Jump into Suika's hair and live the rest of my life on her scalp, feeding off of her blood.

This is the moment I've been waiting all my life for. I pull out my legendary sword and jump onto her and avoiding being shaken off while striking her weak spot. then call my horse and find the next giant.

Watch the president blame it on terrorists.

>>3931394
I hope you've got enough grip in that meter.

I would through beans at the office building across the street and watch the fun.

>>3931304
I would throw beans at the office building across the street and watch the fun.

>>3931304

Well if the end of her horn was gently poking through my office wall, I would remove my pants and insert it into my anus.

Climb down her body and into her vag.

Declare a WAR ON GENSOKYO.

turrist youkai destroying our freedums

Mech Hisui! It's show time!

>>3931577
CAST IN THE NAME OF GOD YE NO GUILTY

Toss chair out window, then jump out with a backflip as I yell Boomshakalaka.

Throw a flash bomb and get a level 3 Greatsword charge on her skull in the hopes of breaking it for better loot.

I'd run down the horn, climb down her hair, and hide in her ear. From there I would talk to her and make her think she has a voice in her head.

NEVER FORGET

Then I go out and Photoshop crying bald eagles over the American flag.

Get a raid of 25 people and beat her up for purples

>>3931590
>flash bomb
Casualfag.

>>3931614

But that means Suika would be farmed every reset ;_;

>>3931614
... only to find out she is a quest mob for the other faction and doesn't drop loot.

What I do...well, I think I'll do something like this.

I suddenly notice an enormous horn-like object penetrating the wall. Jumping backwards in surprise, I only barely manage to dodge the giant horn. As my fellow office workers run and scream in panic, I jump up and cling onto the giant horn. The horn then pulls back, and I am about to collide with the wall at high speed! I barely manage to position myself on the horn such that I am pulled through a hole in the now completely destroyed wall, avoiding contact with the remains of the barrier that always used to separate me from the outside world. However, this is no time to relax; looking up again, I see that the giant horn is attached to a giant creature that bears a slight resemblance to a little girl. If it were not for her enormous size and the fact that she just ravaged my workplace, I might even think of her as cute. As she prepares to move forward after retracting her horn, I climb back up to the top of the horn, so that I do not fall off. I slowly make my way to the head of the creature, but suddenly the creature stops. Why did she stop? Did she notice--oh my god! The creature is shaking its head wildly, and I cling onto the horn for dear life. But the shaking does not stop, and with every jolt to my body, my grip becomes weaker and weaker. After pulling back, she stops. I think it's over, but...that is a naive thought. With amazing force, she turns her head, swinging her horn so hard that I lose grip. Having nothing to hold on to, I now plummet to my untimely death. Thinking back, why did I do something this dangerous? Did I have a death wish? But it's too late for that now...as I plummet to my death, I realize just how fragile a human lidscvuinberiuchwercuciewhcohgodithurtsijdfscowcj

I would fuck the holes in the fabric of her socks.

Bow down and commence worship of the Oni.

>>3931641
Write a "Going to Gensokyo ending".

>>3931669
But I just died.

>>3931681
Twas all a dream.
You wake up in bed, though you realize...
Your whole life was a dream.
And your dream beyond a dream, Touhou, is a reality.

>>3931688
What a shitty ending. Promise me you'll never become a writer.

>>3931688

You are shit at writing, please do not ever belch out such horrible, stilted, cliched work at me ever again.

>>3931641
it's like i'm actually on giantesscity

>>3931720

But he wasn't worshiping her feet.

How did she get her horn stuck in the first place? Looked like she stabbed it with her horn but then she has a frustrated/unamused and surprised look.

>>3931782
She might have tripped or something and slightly lost her balance, causing her horn to smash against the building.

>>3931791
>tripped

Makes sense.

>>3931782

She was stumbling around drunkenly and impaled the building.

>Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6

>>3931782
I think the best explanation is that she grew while standing next to the building, and as her hornspan increased she accidentally impaled the it.

>>3931782
I think the best explanation is that she grew while standing next to the building, and as her hornspan increased she accidentally impaled it.

>>3931838

>>3931843
Would have caught on the side of the building beforehand, there's no trail of destruction from below the horn.

>>3931852

Is Suika vomiting pure magic?

What the hell...

>>3931848

>>3931394
>>3931396
>>3931576

If Shadow of the Colossus was adapted by Hollywood, it would be in a contemporary setting with Wander living his regular high school life before suddenly having to take down giant terrorists to save his girlfriend.

Suika did 9/11

>>3931919

YAY!

Alright, now tell us what Touhou done by Michael Bay/WAR ON TERRA would be like. Double points if Ichirin stands in for Osama Bin Laden.

>>3931939

I cannot.

Anyone can squish together some tentacles and call it unimaginable horror, but what you're drescribing would truly be too horrifying to imagine.

>>3931694
>>3931697
Goddamnit guys, it's not an ending.
IT'S A BEGINNING!
You're just jealous, Arc.

>>3931973

That, and I guess the human mind cannot conceive the sheer amount of BAYSPLOSIONS that would occur in a movie about Touhou. Every spell card would be a BAYSPLOSION. Marisa's Master Spark would be terrible and horror-inducing to lay eyes upon. You'd probably have to don sunglasses.

>>3932027
Okay, I apologize for the misinterpretation.

Please allow me to correct myself.

What a shitty start of the story. Promise me you'll never become a writer.

>>3932116
>Hasn't been here to see the YWiG threads

>>3932129
It's not the 'waking up in Gensokyo' concept I'm criticizing. It's the fuckhorrible way it's done.

>>3932156
Oh, Master of Litterature, please elaborate more deeply in my faults so I may grow as a writter.
And, if possible, provide examples of how it should be done.

>>3932188

Even when the character is intended to be the reader, "you" still is a distinct character. It might be an idea to introduce "you" in a way that the reader can related to, and introduce "yours" motivations and desires.

But then again, this is coming from someone who writes Sengoku Rance crack pairings, so perhaps you should seek advice elsewhere.

>>3932225
So you are saying my short 4 line paragraph was simply not elaborate enough?
Hopefully ToyDucktripfag, in all his glory, can aide my distress.

>>3932188
>Twas all a dream.
That means the writer has just been wasting my time, as the dream is completely unrelated in any way to the rest of the story. It doesn't say anything about the main character, about his life, or anything else that can have made this previous scene not be a complete waste of time. The only way this could still be any useful would be if the dream was some kind of omen for something - maybe Suika would later destroy a town or something?
>You wake up in bed, though you realize...
>Your whole life was a dream.
What the f? We haven't even so much as heard about the actual protagonist! You either have to show a bit of the protagonist's life before pulling this trick, so you share the protagonist's shock upon realizing his life was not real, or you have to start the story with this, so you share the protagonist's confusion of suddenly waking up in a new world.
>And your dream beyond a dream, Touhou, is a reality.
More information, please. In what way did Touhou suddenly become reality? Do you wake up in Gensokyo? Has the Touhou cast invaded the real world? Do you wake up at Reimu's house and does she tell you that everything in Touhou is real and you must travel to Gensokyo? Just 'lol Touhou is reality' doesn't get us anywhere.

It's very difficult to make so many mistakes in just four lines. You have a rocky road ahead of you if you ever want to write anything decent.

>>3932249

Not quite. I'm saying you misidentified the reader. Readers can make assumptions about what the author intends, but the author can't assume the reader knows anything from the beginning.
If you assume from the beginning that the reader has the same desires, motivations, or similar backround as the central character, the whole thing breaks down if it turns out this is not the case. It leaves you with a minimal target audience and opens you up to a whole lot of flak.
If you introduce the character with some distinction, you can avoid that to some extent. It might be as simple as "Up until now you have [been doing something], but that changes today", or something.
Experiment.

I fucking enjoyed Transformers, BAYSPLOSIONS and all. It's a movie about transforming robots that panders to children and manchildren, what the hell did the critics expect?

>>3932316

How did Megatron learn English?

>>3932298
You wake up from a coma.
In the coma, you live in the "Real World"
In the "Real World" you dream about Touhou.
This will be the basis of the story, living your dream.
It's ironic in the fact you aren't living your dream, but a dream inside a dream.
The reader should be able to compare himself (being the filthy otaku he is) with the protagonist.

How many mistakes in that? 5 for 5 lines?

>>3932298
You wake up from a coma.
In the coma, you live in the "Real World"
In the "Real World" you dream about Touhou.
This will be the basis of the story, living your dream.
It's ironic in the fact you aren't living your dream, but a dream inside a dream.
The reader should be able to compare himself (being the filthy otaku he is) with the protagonist.

How many mistakes in that? 6 for 6 lines?

>>3932299
Situate the reader, got it.

I ask her if she'd like to go out for a few drinks, since my work suddenly got cancelled for the day.

>>3931394
I just wanted to add, I'd put my sword in her weak spot, if you know what I mean.

>>3932329

Jimmy Hoffa did it. That's where he's been all this time.

>>3932391

Getting warmer. Now try it as flowing text.

>>3932401

No, seriously. The guy's been frozen solid for millions of years. If the others guys learned English from "your internet", how'd he do it?

>>3932391
One mistake in 6 lines. The rest is a bit confusing, but that's just because of the way you describe it. Any concept no matter how confusing can work if written correctly.
>The reader should be able to compare himself (being the filthy otaku he is) with the protagonist.
Do not assume this, or anything else about the reader. The reader will not just identify himself with the protagonist; you have to make him do that.

One day, anon was doing his office work for the man when a huge horn busted through the window and killed all his coworkers. Anon tried to run to freedom across the horn but fell down and landed on Suika's bare foot, which was dirty and smelly. She ordered him to lick up all her foot sweat, which he did. Then he got a boner and felt very ashamed of himself. Anon's mouth was full of sweat, dirt, and dead skin and he vomited several times. When Suika was satisfied she put anon in her pussy and moved him back and forth like a dildo until she orgasmed. Her constricting pussy muscles squished him into pulp and his corpse was flushed out into the street in a tidal wave of cum and it was the best vacation ever. The end.

>>3932440
I don't have days to labour on a text like Arc does.
Him and his shitty fanfiction.
>>3932477
Demographics, sir.
But yea, I think it's obvious you can't just force the reader to live like someone not himself.

>>3932440
I don't have days to labour on a text like Arc does.
Him and his shitty fanfiction.
>>3932477
Demographics, sir.
And what, can't you make the reader relate to the person over the progression of a chronological advances?
Not all good works of litterate have introductions, I'll have you know.

>>3932551
Of course, you can do it over time. But not making any effort to do so at all, just expecting the reader will be able to identify himself with the protagonist, will cause problems.

>>3932551

>Not all good works of litterate
>litterate

>>3932551

>over the progression of a chronological advances?
>a chronological advances?

What am I doing in an office? Is someone pouring a concrete slab for their cubicle?

>>3932605
>>3932620

>>3932526
>>3931734

that's better

>>3931304
I'd invade Gensokyo under the guise of finding weapons of massive destruction all the while killing little brown girl Tewis and using the money from Miko brothels to power my energy efficient economy.

It's fun being an American.

>>3932605
>>3932620
I chortled, fuck you arc

>>3931394
>>3931402