/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>3770230
Get a watermelon if you're into BBW.

>>3770230
no
honeydew
microwave

Why not just throw out the 5-10 bucks for a fleshlight? Or use a sock like a real American?

Disappointing holy grail of the now terrible western art filled /d/

I wouldn't waste a delicious melon like that

What do you do with the melon afterwards? Throwing it away seems like a waste of food.

While were on the subject of fruit and masturbation, how do banana didlos work? Wouldn't the stem kind of hurt?

>>3770247
how long are you supposed to heat it for? i don't want to make it assplode or anything

>>3770279
but then again, you'd have stuck your dick in it.

Sauce?

Be careful heating the melon. I've never tried it myself but I've heard you can burn your dick pretty good since the core can get deceptively hot.

>>3770293

Snip the end off. It should maintain its structural integrity assuming it's not overly ripe. Cucumbers are better tho.

>>3770312
Search gelbooru for futa melon
>>3770338
Thanks for the tip

>>3770312
Semen sprinkler

>>3770266
This isn't even western, though.

A banana peel can be used as a make do fleshlight, and you were only going to throw it out anyway.

Bad part: Your dick is now covered in nasty fruit pulp from the inside of the peel. Necessitates a wash after.

my thoughts are ranging from 'hey, pretty cool' to 'oh, what the fuck?'

>>3770382
I'm pissing and shitting on the goddamn floor. Something like that doesn't bother me.

>>3770378
yeah but he's more or less right about the current state of /d/. 3-4 threads on the first 2 pages.

Anyone else really worried about how she is cutting the hole? It doesn't seem all that safe, the way the blade is facing, her grip, and not using a proper surface.

PENIS FIRE!!

I tried fucking my ass with a banana once but it was too soft and just mushed up and split.

Didn't some Anon try it out and get fucked over by the melon's acidic juice?

>>3770412
You need to keep the peel on.

>>3770423
I did. My ass was just too strong for it.

/jp/ - futa and sex advice.

OP here. I just found a far superior board without morons so I'm leaving Retardchan forever now:

http://bun[REMOVETHIS]bunmaru.com/wakaba/

>6276e9fbc907fea58a1c5adce058e4bf

>>3770442
Fascinating. I'd like to test out this strong ass of yours sometime.

OP here. I just found a far superior board without morons so I'm leaving Retardchan forever now:

http://bun[REMOVETHIS]bunmaru.com/wakaba/

>697435e9fbc907fea58a1c5adce058e4bf

>>3770442
use lube

>>3770482
Oh my.

see if you can find a bigger than average banana, hollow it out, put it in the microwave for 10~15 sec at around 450 watt and put tape around it, so it doesn't break when you fuck it.

why not use a plantain?

>>3770230
> Old. I already read this on the far superior bunbunmaru.com last night.
Hivemind.

>>3770396

>>3770396

>>3770396

Protip: melons are acidic.

>>3770541
>>3770580
>>3770591
In a thread about sticking fruit in one's anus or carving out a melon with your dick you find that offensive? Times must be changing.

>>3770598
Alright Mr. Chemistry major, why do you suggest I stick my dick into?

>>3770612
The wall.

>>3770612
A Fleshlight, you bunch of cheap, dumb fucks.

>>3770612
Just the tone of this question alone made me laugh.

>>3770612

>>3770627
Fleshlights aren't wet and sloppy, plus I don't have a debit card.

>>3770645
unless you live in alaska or austrailia, there is a porn store near you somewhere.

Also you can buy juice to add to said fleshlight for the best emulation possible!

>>3770658
There is no way I would go to a porn store, that's just too embarrassing.

>>3770669
And fucking a fruit isn't embarrassing at all.

>>3770382
This seems to be worth a try.

>>3770669
But is it more or less embarassing than buying pantyhose?

>>3770677

But I can do that in the privacy of my own home.

>>3770669
Take a girl with you. It lessons the embarrassment.

Also can lead to a fun afternoon.

Ignore this suggestion if you're lacking in female friends.

>>3770715

I'll lose my female friends if I even suggested this to them

>>3770734
befriend less classy individuals.

It's meh.
Tried all kinds of fruits and vegetables, they suck. And not in the good meaning.

My trusty right hand is still #1.

>>3770669
>There is no way I would go to a porn store, that's just too embarrassing.

True story, last year ago I was stuck with my family in a three-bed hotel room. You can only imagine how it felt for me, a person that faps 3 to 4 times a day, being stuck with the people I hated most in life. Trying to escape the gravity of my situation, I went down a few blocks miles, and to my surprise there was a porno shop. To give you a description of what the porno shop looked like, it was basically a one story house with a big front window, changed into a shop.

I went back to the hotel room and got a 20 dollar bill, and preceded to stalk said porno shop until 2:00AM, but I was too scared to go in, so I left with a pair of blue balls that night. The next day, I managed to buildup some confidence and spent the entire day planning on how to enter the shop, but by the time I got to the porn shop (2:00AM) it was closed. Apparently it closes earlier on Labor Days. I went back there again, at an earlier time (12:59AM) but it was closed due to 'weekend'. You can see where this is going....

>>3770960
Continued:
After the weekend was over I only had one more chance/day to succeed at getting into this porn shop. I wore my mother's glasses as a disguise, got there around the perfect time, and everything was going according to my plan. But when I was about to enter a car pulled up, so I had to wait a few minutes until the car left. Then the chance finally came, the streets were empty, the neighborhood was so quiet you could hear a penny drop, but as I was walking into the porno shop, out of no where some black guy came up to me with his hand raised to shake my hand. He told me he was a preacher, and that I looked like I was homeless (and in danger). After brushing off the initial shock, I told him I was fine and I ran away in disgust and anger.

I learned one thing that day, the only thing that's certain, is that nothing is certain. Never in a million years (with all of my calculations) would I have been able to predict a preacher would have come out of no where and cock-block me from the porn. Ever since that day I don't know what to think of life any more. There is no order to this universe, random shit can happen any where (and at any time); you're kidding yourself if a) you think you're in control, or b) you think you can use your human logic to control things.

>>3770964
>out of no where some black guy came up to me with his hand raised to shake my hand.
Sorry bro, that was me.

>>3770964
What the fuck am I reading?