/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I don't plan on making her my waifu but she is still my favorite touhou and I fully intend to piss in her fields if I ever find myself in gensokyo.

rape

Ran

...OH GOD TAIL FEEL SO GOOD

and then I would probably be slauthered

>>3769531
If you know what I mean

Flandre

...

...

I got nothing, just wanted to post the picture

I intend to wow all of them saying I come from a higher dimension in which their universe is a creation (note: ZUNiverse's Earth is different from our Earth [last I checked we did not engage war with moonbunnies during Apollo 11]), but intend to phrase it gently (their universe is one in a series of 'archived universes' which scholars spend their lives researching). Then I mostly instill them with wonder and such.

Also, since no one will bat an eye at how I dress, I dress myself up like Jigo (retaining the tall geta and parasol). Always thought that was an awesome style of dress.

I avoid Satori like the plague and warn her that she would probably die if she read my mind and knew the truth.

I wouldn't work on making anyone mai waifu, but I would talk with Mokou and Komachi a lot.

Just talk to her. Should be easy.

All I have to do is walk up to her and let the dice fall where they may.

>>3769573
Fascinating.

Step 1: Find Satori

Step 2: Tell her to read my mind on a subject called /b/

step 3: Lol at her reaction as she reads my mind

Alice
Hyper Weapon mode

4 divided by 0 divided by 9 ?

I don't have a favorite, nor would I go for any of this 'waifu' shit.

I would not go for a waifu, just fuck around like no tomorrow as long as I can, Shitstorms for the lulz

I'd treat her like a proper young lady instead of the "Great Sage".

She'll totally be overcome and fall for it.

No human tastes as good as my cooking.

I wanna ejaculate deep inside of her. She'll give birth to powerful children with delicious light brown skin.

>>3769666

Are you a japanese bird?

Something like this

I'd hunt her down and ravage her body.

It can backfire, but It should work, I think

Oh god, I just imagined over 9000 Anons marching into gensokyo...

Dear god, I feel sorry for Gensokyo

>>3769702
>over 9000
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF SOUNDS EPICK

>>3769702
there was a cyoa about this

Scratch right behind the ears

Choice and plan to conquer all in one image.

Beat her silly

>>3769685
So one could say you're going to "CATCH THE WABBIT"

And people wonder why Bugs Bunny crossdresses so much

Would you become Hina's Curse Priest?

Would you brave bad luck, tripping on your shoe laces, having rocks smack into your forehead from out of nowhere, bees stinging you, birds shitting on your head, bears attacking you suddenly, close calls with lightning, and general misfortune all around to be with her until you obtain powers as a priest of misfortune?

I would.

Go straight to Hina, become the Tatari no Kannushi despite all hardships. Then I'd get all the powerless evil loli youkai like Rumia and Melancholy and expand the religion! From there, the sky is the limit as long as I don't fuck with Reimu.

Probably become fuck buddies with Komachi on a totally unrelated note.

Give her a good spanking?

I just wanna do so after seeing this image

>>3769725

Hina ABSORBS misfortune, being around her will make you luckier.

Hold Hina with your right arm
Hold Tewi with your left arm
Buy a lottery ticket
Succeed at life

Hmm.. I would...screw waifu, I want to get a bro from her, fuck yeah sleeping in the woods and caves, eating grilled food all the time, infiltrating the moonpeoples place, having fun in the bamboo forest, and just chilling with her. A true bro of a friend, that also looks very lovely

Try not to pass out before her.

>>3769733
PIMP ED: NOW SUPER LUCKY

>>3769725

Pic relate. Curse Priest benefits lol

>>3769507
I guess, from Inaba of Moon and Earth, that I just need to pat her back and try to make her just more optimistic.

>>3769725
Hina is a good girl who would absolutely hate having some self-proclaimed priest raining misfortune down on others.

Also she already has contracts with other gods to deal with the misfortune, doujin related

>>3769725
Hina is a good girl who would absolutely hate having some self-proclaimed priest raining misfortune down on others.

Also she already has contracts with other gods to deal with the misfortune, doujin related

I will befriend her, and let things snowball from there. I will make that lovely baka MY lovely baka, even if it chills my fingers off and gives me frostbites

Everyone is now aware of the fact that your lifespan is a very, very little bit of time in the lives of most of the touhous

>>3769733

Not quite, the misfortune floats around her. Which is why you want to become the Curse Priest or whatever first so then you can absorb misfortune and be unaffected by it completely.

Also get epic auto trolling skills since you can troll people by just being around them.

>>3769760

I'm a Touhoufriend, but I'm getting really sick of the shitty threads here on /jp/. From now on all Touhou threads are being hidden on sight.

1. Go to Shrine
2. Make Donation
3. ?????
4. PROFIT

Patchouli

I don't know. Just help out in the library, be a nice guy, ask for teachings in the art of magic.
Spending time with her like that would be enough for me though.
Because I'm so going to rape her when she's sleeping

Hmmm... Not be intimitated by her were-hakutaku form?

>>3769773
Calling yourself a Touhoufriend but doing something cruel like that?
Oh boy.

>>3769758
>>Doujin

And whoever said I'd be a bad person, anyways? You know, besides the whole "attacking people to keep them from greater danger lololol" thing.

>>3769589
She probably would not react, due to seeing a lot of shit in her lifetime

>>3769773
It's a better thread than 90% of /jp/s normal content

Deal with it. Not like you have a choice for where to go for any sort of Touhou-related discussion.

With the power of science!

wait untill she goes to heat, then have sex, after that try to survive Ran and Yukari trying to tearr your dick off and feed it to you

>>3769789

>You know, besides the whole "attacking people to keep them from greater danger lololol" thing.

Everyone in Mountain of Faith was doing this except the Moriya crew.

>>3769783

Keine wouldn't be as interesting without it.

I'd like her to occasionally be assertive and aggressive. And getting CAVED just means you finally got to her horns.

>>3769808

Learn to cook delicious food, and a lot of it

>>3769774
Hope you got lots of cash.

>>3769823
Enjoy your life as some sort of a butler.

Just be honest and stay around her long enough. Being the only non-relative person who's willing to stay at her side will give some free major points with her.

Only real problem is keeping my mind under control. Not thinking anything lewd or hateful is gonna be hard.

Oh god Why am I having impure toughts of Chen

>>3769826

Servants in Gensokyo don't have it so bad. I'd trade places with Sakuya or Youmu any day.

MY WIFE'S A BUCKET

>>3769839

Get her a pail.

>>3769828
Yup, "it"'s gonna be hard all right

1) Explain to him how most of the stuff in his shop works beyond what his eyes can tell him

2) Use his connections to get into contact with either Yukari or the Kappa

3) Get electricity at the shop

4) become a NEET again

>>3769792
No, this is a bad thread, just like every other Touhou thread on /jp/. If it's not a random image in likeness to Sion threads, then it's something like "Slut", "I want to fuck her", "Is she a virgin?", "My waifu XD".

Fuck you all. Can't you make a thread that isn't SUPER RANDOM or sexual? Every Touhou thread I see here has been made like twenty times before.

At least you're better than Pooshlmer and /bun/ for this. I'll give you that.

>>3769503
please stop spamming ＡｎｏｎＴａｌｋ .com thanks

>>3769834
You are wrong.
Sakuya has a frantic and restless life. Wasn't it stated that she couldn't do most of their work without stopping time here and there?
The same goes for Youmu. Beside the fact that the "garden" is fucking huge and you are never done with sweeping. Not to mention the huge mass of food you have to cook. If you are unlucky there's nothing left for you and Yuyuko is still hungry.

>>3769817

Yeah, pretty much.

>>3769842
I see a liar, troll, and idiot wrapped into one package.

When I first meet her,
"Oh, how are you doing this fine evening fair maiden?"

That and compliment how cute of a girl she is

>>3769842
What should we make a thread about? Hm?
The first few good threads are whenever a new Touhou is released. Until then it's an ocean of reposts.
I got used to it. You should too. Welcome to /jp/.

Find her, start helping her steal books, study with her, get her to know me and eventually ask if she'd like to take it further.
If not, oh well, nothing I can do.

>>3769842
There's nothing Sexual about wanting a partner.

>>3769873
>You should too.
Not him, and I am used to it, but your call for conformity is alarming.

This doujin's making me think of ancient Suwako as an anti-Hina who went around bringing misfortune on others for faith. And that's awesome.

I will pretend to be interested in bugs.