/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Lake. Eggs.

neet it up and die of starvation

Woo Keine and Meiling, but never make any progress as I disappear inexplicably and never return.

post about it on the internet

Kourindou, pawn off what I won't need that might fetch high value for being from outside the boundary.
After that make a donation at the Hakurei shrine and seek asylum.

Trying too look for Raimu or Suika would be the safest choice, for a start. Then i would fool around or something, try to learn magic from someone, then become the Stage 3 Boss on TH14 or 15.

>>3688020

The lake is full of piss and shit and vomit, do you REALLY want to jump in that?

>>3688030
THERE IS NO INTERNET IN GENSOKYO. Good luck finding electricity to run your electronics in Gensokyo.

>>3688052
And fairies corpses.

>>3688065

Let's not forget the slurry of mud, blood, and chopped meat from the SDM.

>>3688030
This. And then stream my webcam as I walk towards the human village hoping I don't get eaten before I arrive.

>>3688041

>>3688034
you are currently on a mountain in the dark, it is cloudy, you have what you have with you 90% of the time. You don't know where anything is so you can't do these things.

I would hang out with Nitori.

>>3688079
You have no internet access, not even fancy japanese wireless internet. Your laptop battery is at 80%.

>>3688094
WELL, i'll walk and look around then, i think i might notice a giant lake somewhere and a mansion. If its dark i would search for refuge before some youkai eats me.

none of you can even have a conversation in japanese, how can you do half of these things

>>3688094
[X] Look for a lake. Jump into it when you find it.

>>3688098
You lack a cucumber, you die from blood loss due to your anus being removed.

>>3688094
A mountain? Head for the top, I'll probably get intercepted by a tengu who might take me to Moriya if I ask nicely.

Also I am extremely cold because I am in my underwear most of the time.

>>3688125
Ancient Japanese, even, quite different from what they speak in Glorious Nihon these days.

>>3688125
MAGIC

>>3688157
>Ancient
The Hakurei Border was set up in the 1880s.
Plus Sanae's from our time, and she has no problem understanding them.

I wish I could say I carry a gun around most of the time, but I don't. Do bullets work on fairies?

>>3688136
you are now in a misty lake with your clothes on, all portable electronic devices you were carrying have been fried, all hope of contacting the outside world is now lost. By destroying your electronic devices you have now lost a perfectly good way to start a fire and keep warm. Something is in the water. Something big. JESUS CHRIST ITS HUGE. It's about 3.5 meters(10 feet) long and huge. The Jaws theme is now playing in your head. What do you do?

>>3688125
IMAGINATION~

>>3688125
OP here, you can't speak Japanese and Touhous are most clearly Japanese and thus speak it.
>>3688164
You are carrying a (name handgun you own here) with you luckily happen to have on you.(void if you don't have a conceal and carry permit) Due to the fact you have a weapon, are most likely a foreigner, and were transported to gensokyo with out going through immigration you're going to get in trouble once you get out of gensokyo. But that's a problem for later.

>>3688164
Yes, bullets work on fairies and fairies can also shoot bullets. If you haven't figured out already touhou is a bullet hell shooter.

>>3688204

It's not like it takes effort to kill a fairy, though. A gun is overkill. He could just rip her wings out or squeeze her into a pulp.

>>3688151
You die from hypothermia on your quest up the mountain. You should have worn clothes 90% of the time, you never know when you might get transported mysteriously to gensokyo.

>>3688209
Those seem more tiring than firing a gun.

>>3688125
draw what you want and look for Keine or Reimu. Add a "baka gaijin" to your drawing for more sympathy. They'll eventually lead you to Yukari to send you back to your fuckshit of a life.

>>3688113
I should be able to get a weak signal from eientei or the other side of the barrier, and even if I couldn't, I could always just build an improvised internet with just a series of tubes made of bamboo.

>>3688225
How do you look for Reimu and Keine to get back your fuckshit of a life?

Considering I can't speak japanese then I'm royally screwed. No one would have anything to do with me and I'd probably be eaten.

>>3688209
Sure, you can handle ONE that way... if you're strong and lucky (you aren't). However, you'll be swarmed.

>>3688125
I know how to say "I'm lost" "help me" and "call the police"

If I WANT to go back I'd probably go meet Rinnosuke. The guy can tell the use and source of any object right? Just give him shorts I'm wearing or my glasses or my wallet and he'll realize I'm from the outside world. That would pick the other touhou's interest and BAM I'm a popular motherfucker.

It's not too much of a stretch to say some people in Gensokyo speak something other than Japanese, with the potential for people being pulled into the world and surviving. If the Scarlets really are Romanian nobility and Remilia wasn't just pulling the whole related to Vlad thing out of her ass, it seems likely they'd speak French at least.

>>3688235
I pray to the gods that this map is somewhat accurate then.

>>3688242
You proceed to commit suicide, you see this infront of you. She says something in Japanese and hands you a pamphlet on the afterlife. You know what she says though "YOU'RE DEAD PASTY WHITE BOY." You are laughed at by a group of recently suicided japanese business men. "YOU DIE VIRGIN WHITE BOY," they say or something like that. Too bad you didn't install the english patch. You are now stuck in the Japanese afterlife for all eternity, you also died a virgin and from what you make out from the pamphlet, you can't have sex as a ghost.

Even if I had my 9mm, I'd only have 10 rounds.

I doubt anyone there knows what a gun does, so it wouldn't have any impact unless I demonstrated it once. Unfortunately, this means shooting someone in the leg if I choose to mug or coerce others for survival, which would never last.

Or in case of zetsubou, getting owned by youkai or fairies, I would probably an hero. Every end is bad end.

>>3688025
anyone that doesn't say this is in denial, or lying

>>3688230
You search for wireless networks, and find 2 both are named "linksys". One is unsecured one is not. You can't get a signal from outside gensokyo, you don't have a phone that's compatible with japanese networks.

>>3688167

Kill it then stick it in a box and try to eat it.

I fashion a silly hat out of leaves, grass, and small shrubs.

>>3688332
Dieing from starvation is a good end actually, it means you sucessfully avoided been eaten/brutally killed by youkai for at the very least 4-6 weeks. Neeting up, you'd die rather fast from attack by youkai or whatever other monsters there are in gensokyo.
http://www.survivaltopics.com/survival/how-long-can-you-live-without-food/

>North
>North
>Open dispenser
>Insert Babel Fish

Okay, language barrier solved.

>West
>West
>North
>You have been eaten by a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal

>>3688345
How do you kill it? YOU HAVE NO WEAPONS ON YOU! Whatever it is, it has no teeth, is slimy, is trying to pull you under!

Gensokyo, despite it's small size, is a self contained biosphere, with many biomes within, ranging from the humid and temperate forest and jungle regions, to the dry and sweltering mountainous areas. Getting to know the various aspects of these regions is tantamount to survival. Also remember, as Gensokyo is relatively self-contained from the rest of Earth, many of the flora and fauna have taken on various new forms, evolving in such a way to adapt to the dangerous environment. Be wary, as you may encounter plants with prehensile tentacles that can crush your bones or leaves that can shred kevlar, or birds with prehensile tentacles that can crush your bones or leaves that can shred kevlar, or even prehensile tentacles that can crush your bones with leaves that can shred kevlar. Becoming familiar with what's dangerous and what's safe is important

>>3688349
You are now wearing a silly hat made out leaves, grass, and small shrubs, I don't know how this helps you but you are now wearing one.

>>3688385

Weapons? Who needs weapons? A gun is only needed when what you're trying to kill isn't close enough for you to rip and tear.

Get lost in the forest of magic so I can live with Alice.

>>3688403
You have now been pulled underwater, you have 40 seconds of air, you are being pulled deeper by what appears to be a giangantic catfish. What do you do?

Well I just happen to carry on me a kindel with a ton of how to books, I would just find Nitori and build a powerplant and other things we need

>>3688418

>>3688430

That was a tough fight, good thing I found that minigun underwater.

Fuck fuck fuck no rations or splints.

>>3688419
Do you have any DAVID K. GINGERY BOOKS on your kindle?
http://www.lindsaybks.com/dgjp/index.html

You are lost in gensokyo, your kindle is in hand, with your how to books. What do you do to contact nitori? What books do you consult?

This thread sucked when it was "You Wake Up In Gensokyo", and I'm astonished at how much more it sucks now.

>>3688164

Fortunately I do have a gun right in my hands. Not the most powerful thing in the world but I like my Norinco JW-14

I make my way to the Human Village, preach about the evils of the horrid Youkai, and create an army of peasants to burn as much of Gensokyo to the ground as possible. Scorch the Earth.

We'll probably lose, but damnit, we'll lose with grace.

>>3688436
There are no miniguns in gensokyo, you're now hallucinating due to low air. You are no longer conscious and being threshed around by a giant catfish. You are in effect dead. Next time try hitting the weak point for massive damage.

>>3688505
>implying Big Boss can't just punch the catfish and the sheer explosive force wouldn't bring him back to the surface.

>>3688501
"Burn gensokyo to the ground? ARE YOU FUCKING MAD?" the inhabitants of the human village say,"If we burn gensokyo to the ground we'll burn the fields too and we'll have nothing to eat." Of course you haven't made it to the human village yet so this doesn't happen yet.

>>3688402
Oh, it helps.

>>3688514
He didn't say punch the catfish, so he is dead.

>>3688535
You see an awesome looking flower on the ground, do you add it to your hat? IT LOOKS REALLY AWESOME!

>>3688537
>Big Boss
>dead

Oh well, wouldn't be the first time. So I guess he'd be in
Hakugyokurou now?

>>3688555
Yes, yes I do. Next, I look for some vines or long grass to stuff into my pants, making a silly skirt.

>>3688584

You're about to get fucked up.

>>3688593
I stand completely still. I am a tree.

>>3688627

But if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

>>3688630

An Oak!

>>3688630
Birch.

>implying that gensokyo is in any way grimdark and that people can actually die in gensokyo

>>3688584
A badly drawn moe~form with an umbrella and green hair appears and pushes you up against a tree. It's Yuka. You can't move. She says some stuff in Japanese that goes something like this: "You picked that flower didn't you? Why'd you pick one of MY flowers? YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS PASTY WHITE BOY." And then flowers go up all around you and kill you. You were killed by flowers. Being killed by flowers in a most painful manner. Truly you have died the most horrible death so far.

>>3688668
>Died in a field of flowers

>>3688668
Does that mean I win?

>>3688665
Yes it's quite grim dark, didn't you read the prologue?

>>3688684
no
/thread

>>3688706
Your panic induced rationalization that this was actually just a thread on /jp/ and you are not actually in gensokyo, you're just tired and your mind is active has caused you to shout out "no, end thread" at the top of your lungs.
All hungry youkai in your general area are now aware of your presence.

>>3688053
Move to the Ancient City. Hopefully they have electricity there.

Also, make an attempt to youkaiify yourself.

>>3688280
>I pray to the gods that this map is somewhat accurate then.

Totally, bro.

>>3688398
Do you have a translation of the other one?

>>3690443
http://danbooru.donmai.us/pool/show/1095

I cast magic missile, on the darkness.

I am a great and powerful wizard.

>>3690473
Go back to bed Mima, you're not even canon.

>>3690481
SCREW YOU

DELAY FIREBALL.

Run north. I'll probably die before reaching the weak spot in the barrier, but it's a better option than risking seeking out anyone else in this place.

>>3688015
what on earth is with this picture? It's cute in a strange and fucked up way.

>>3688012
plz stop spamming ur shitty board on www.AAAAtalk.com ( replace AAAA w/ anon ) were tired of ur constant fucken spam and ddos attack's also stop lying about AT ok now gtfo dumbo's

I remember the basics of CQC and start eating snakes.

But seriously. The only thing we could do is going to the human village and work our asses off.

The SDM would never let us in. Maybe as a Butler but even for that our chances are pretty low.

Alice would only let us stay a few days.

Marisa may not even be at home. She might be the friendliest of all, but we would need to search for mushrooms and whatnot

We could work at the Kourindou. But wouldn't that be boring too?

Reimu wouldn't let us stay long either. It's not like she has a job we could do either. I wonder if she would look at us at all if we have no money.

And I doubt we would get any treatment in Eientei.

Everything else would be too far away (or is anyone of you capable of flying?) if we assume we start near the Human Village or the Forest of Magic.

>>3690637
You could head for Byakuren or Sanae's shrine. They're less jewish than Reimu.

>>3690420
So the LHC was all just a way to warp a passage way to Gensokyo. It all makes somewhat sense now.

Use my sperm danmaku on everything that approaches me.

>>3690643
Oh yeah, kinda forgot them. Might work. But would they be nice enough to let you stay months without you doing anything?

The next thing ZUN could work on is a goddamn map.

Settle down and live an easy going life I suppose.

>>3690643
>>3690687
You're forgetting that the Moriya shrine lies at the top of the Youkai Mountain, not the easiest place for a lone person to reach.

>>3688398
Fuck you im not made of kevlar.

I'm a level 12 bard...so.

First I cast Secure shelter, just so I can have some walls around me and i'll feel a little safe.

I then proceed to cast Detect City.

After figuring that out, I set out for the human village.

If on my way I encounter a dangerous Youkai, i'll first attempt to diffuse the situation with my rather significant diplomacy skill. If that fails, I'll haste myself and begin casting Deep Slumber on the creature. If that succeeds, I kill it in its sleep with my short sword. If not, then I attempt to flee.

If neither work then who cares, i'm dead.

If I make it to the human village some how, I sell a few of my magical items and seek a place to rest for the night. The next day I hire some locals and head out to gather ingredients for potions. If all goes well, I set up a business of selling potions of Cure Light Wounds to the locals, and live well.

If not, I die, and who cares.

>>3690795
D&D characters in Touhou.

My favorite crossover. I played a Shota half-elf Bard once. Was fun.

Run to Alice's house and ask her to become her apprentice

Go underground and try to find Kisume to chill with
Yamame appears and gives me some horrible disease, killing me instantly.

>>3690829
"No. And now get lost" would be most likely her answer.

>>3690832
It's dangerous to go alone, here, take this.

A resist disease potion.

>>3690805
Epic level 25 Sorc vs Yukari. SHOW DOWN!

Figure out what your ability is. Go loot Rinnosuke, then go loot the village. Make enough commotion and Reimu/Marisa will come look for you.

Fight and lose, and tell them about your story. They'll pity you and find you a place to fit in, then you proceed with your harem scheme/waifu route. Good End.

You didn't specify the time. If it was over a thousand years in the past I'd go find the Hourai Elixer.

In the present I'd join up with Byakuren in her preachings of love and peace. I would go befriend Sanae but her gods will probably intimidate me too much.

Do we get damnaku ability when we enter Gensokyo like Sanae did?

>>3690904
Even if we didn't, we should just turn ourselves into youkai and bam, we get danmaku.

>>3690920
We could also let someone like Patchouli teach us in the art of Magic.

I find Suika and end up punching the sun. Obligatory pasta.

You are a proud warrior in East Asia, serving a most charismatic and ambitious young warlord by the name of Temujin. In his glorious unification of his ancestral homeland, you serve him with the might and energy of a hundred men. After the most magnificent of battles, you see a strange distortion of space, where two oddly clothed women, one who somehow appears to have several large furry tails, are dragging exhausted sleeping soldiers. You, knowing no fear, charge towards the women full bore. However, you misjudge the distortion, falling through time and space.

When you finally gather your wits, you find yourself in a strange world, one you gather must be tales of the land far to the east beyond the sea. You find you have landed in a place called "Hakurei Shrine", and that the lady in charge is a miko by the name of Reimu. She's rather annoyed by your less than pleasant smell and tendency to devour a small feast at one sitting. Worse yet, you don't have any of this "money" stuff she keeps going on about. She mutters under her breath how you must be another "oni".

Upon those words, a young girl with horns sticking out of her head leaps at you and pins you to the ground. "Another oni!" she squeals with delight. The two of you certainly seem sure to get along well together.

As time passes, you enjoy the company of this young oni girl by the name of Suika. Even your remarkable strength is easily matched by this girl, and her tolerance for alcohol outdoes even your own. She loves competition, and you find yourself exhausted, bruised, with many hangovers, and with a very sore pelvis (Although you agree that both of you won that competition very much.), and you couldn't imagine a greater reward for a warrior who must have been slain in battle and granted the delights of the heavens.

>>3690929
One hot summer's day, you mention to Suika that the sun is a terrible thing, far too hot and far too bright. She agrees, and insists you two get drunk in order to cool down. Her answer for everything, and not a bad one at that. After what seems to be endless amounts of this liquor she calls "sake", you get a brilliant idea. "I should punch the sun!" you exclaim. Suika agrees emphatically. However, you sadly remember that humans cannot fly, and you just can't quite reach the sun to punch it, even though you try for a full hour. Suika then has a brilliant idea of her own. She will use her awesome strength to throw you at the sun, so you can punch it.

You fly through the air so fast, you are shocked to find that up in the sky really high, everything is black with a bunch of tiny spots of light. There doesn't seem to be any air up here... However, the woman you saw on that fateful day peeks her head at you, somehow traveling at the same speed you are, and explains briefly "Mongols are like Batman. You can breathe in space." What this means, you never manage to find out. As you reach the sun, you punch it with all your might. Or rather, you fly into the sun with your fist mightily stretched out. Even a mighty Mongol quickly burns to a crisp when he lands on the sun.

Suika has realized this, far too late. She's sad that her new friend is gone. However, the freak occurrence of a total solar eclipse the next day warms her heart. You really did beat the crap out of the sun after all.

;_;

>>3690920
But becoming youkai pretty much dooms us into losing to humans most of the time.

It's not a coincidence that, aside from the cases where a large cast is thrown in, all the main characters in the main games are humans. Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, and Sanae.

Mokou should join the team.

>>3690960
Fascinating.

Go to the town Keine is protecting, learn magic, play danmaku.

/jp/ en masse turns themselves into youkai.

We are now a new faction.

How we turn ourselves I do not know.

>>3691575
An heroing?

>>3691607
Drink the blood of youkai?

Seeing as im horrible at danmaku im just i would die within minutes.

>>3691791
Learn to deathbomb, quickly! before you get transported to Gensokyo! it never hurts to be prepared.