/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Good news anon! You have a way to go to Gensokyo, However, to cross over it involves a mandatory challenge; you must enter a staring match with the Sun. Unfortunately, you will go blind if you stare at it too long, but if you look away or fail to see the sun, you will go blind. Blink, and you go blind. Fail to follow the sun as it travels around the Earth, and you go blind. You also do not enter Gensokyo. Do you take this opportunity?
also post _________________________

>>35905284
Sounds like you’re dead one way or another honestly so no.
There’s a good reason why people had to cheat to win against these guys after all. And that’s not even getting into the danger you’ll face in Gensokyo itself.

>>35905372
I would take it. While yes, it's practically certain death, I'd rather die from competing against an oni than whatever death I have waiting for me in the future. I'd rather end my life giving something my best, but ultimately failing, than die from some illness or because some idiot fucked something up.

>>35905284
>order to make it to Gensokyo you must go up against an oni in a series of contests, with no breaks in between.
So in other words I'm not gonna make it to Gensokyo

>>35905491
Well if it makes you happy, it’s your funeral.

You have a way to go to Gensokyo but in order to make it you have to kill 17 children in cold blood. Would you do it?

>>35905284
What's the contest? Is it Mario Kart? I'm good at Mario Kart. I want to be Rosalina because she is my favorite.

>>35905284
the contests are
1.Abstinence, whoever refrains from drinking alcohol or blood the most time wins, you opponent will be Suika
2. Pacifism, spend a whole month without fighting anyone whoever does violence loses, your opponent will be Yuugi
3.Mario Kart

>>35905615
Unironically I would do it. No, seriously.

One question, am I automatically teleported to Gensokyo after commiting the act, or do I have to fly to Japan and enter the border? The former would definitely be easier, since I could just go on a rampage, without having to worry about getting caught.

>>35905284
cute and sexy oni

>>35905284
depends, what are the contests.
I can't do much physical due to asthma, but I'll happily play a game of wits.

>>35908422
>1. Abstinence...
Win.
>2. Pacifism...
Win.
>3. Mario Kart
I still win even if I lose.

>>35914071
I was thinking more physical events, but there's only so much you can do before that gets old. If anything, it's one big test of endurance though. A several hour long thing. There also wouldn't be a set group of events either. It'd be made up as things progressed by some non-competing party.

>>35905284
I choose to stay.

>>35908803
Just go on a rampage at a school and kill at least 17 and you'll automatically be transferred to Gensokyo. No extra steps or anything

>>35905615
Why 17 specifically

>>35908803
Funny reason for a school shooting, though I have to tell you that you must be 18 years or older to use 4chan.

>>35919383
Yukari posted it.

>>35919748
Then it would be 17 thousand children

>>35905615
does being a drone operator and casualties from explosives count?

>>35916044
congratulations, enjoy your stay

Suika is actually a retard so she's really easy to beat, just say something like.
>Suika, if you forfeit the match I'll show you how to make the best sake in the world

I could beat an oni in anything

>>35905511
You'll end up in the Afterlife. That's still kinda Gensokyou. And you get to meet Eiki and Komachi

>>35927247
I could die to an oni in seconds

>>35927247
A good change in tone from all the cowards here

>>35905284
What kind of contests? I'm from Eastern Europe so I have a chance at outdrinking them and could probably cheat my way through others if I knew what they'd be beforehand.

>>35925899
I wonder what would be their opinion on mead. If favorable, I got this in the bag.

>>35927247
Go get 'em tiger

What about a hugging contest?

>>35943254
Those onis would literally and figuratively crush you at it.

>>35905372
This is true. You do not play by an oni's rules. You simply will not survive.

>>35943348
At least I'd die happy.

>>35943391
So how do you trick them ina hugging competition so you don’t end up getting squeezed to death?

>>35943394
I’m sure they’ll enjoy it too in their own way.

>>35943443
No joke: You have to get them stupidly drunk. You need the highest proof alcohol you can get your hands on, and a method to not drink it yourself.

>>35943461
You can subtly pour it behind your collar. Getting them drunk may be risky, if what medieval songs tell about alcohol's effect on women is true, you may get a death by snu snu instead.

>>35943461
>>35943551
Could be worth a shot. Or ten in this case.
And there’s only one way to find out if those tales are true. If they do hold water well, there are worse ways to go than in the loving and passionately drunk embrace of a Japanese goblin. Alternatively, you could try to sneak off by saying you need to get ready before you bed them or something to that effect and then quickly leave the area.

>>35943597
Your suggestion sort of reminds me of a Lithuanian folk tale I read as a child, except in it a woman resisted a devil's advances (in Lithuanian mythology devils are similar to Japanese oni) by requesting various items from him until morning came.

If they demand a physical contest, on the other hand, challenge them to a stabbing match with pitchforks through a stick fence (whoever breaks the fence forfeits the match), hand them a four-tined pitchfork and take a single tined one for yourself. The four-tined fork of the oni will get suck while yours will go through with ease, forcing her to either break the fence and forfeit or get endlessly poked.

>>35943775
That’s pretty neat. Who knew I’d learn a bit about Lithuanian folklore from jp of all places? Good on her for outsmarting that devil, hopefully he never bothered them again.
That other suggestion is better than most straight up physical competitions but it has its own risks too. They can easily grab the single tine fork or force you to give up yours. Or all they need to do to win would be to get one good stab on you to end it.

>>35908422
>Mario Kart
against who, though?

>>35943921
I've taken the pitchfork idea from another Lithuaninan folk tale, in which our human contestant convinced the devil that a four-tined pitchfork is stabbier (four prongs are better than one, right?). Also, if the stick fence is dense enough, there's no way you'll get a four-tined pitchfork through, I've actually tested this. It might be possible to do it sideways, but then your thrust will be off by quite a bit.

>>35944608
Both, probably.

>>35905284
Is Kasen going to participate?

>>35905284
I could win with ease at a bean eating contest

>>35944608
you all can play that one

>>35905284
Drinking contest

>>35905284
Ok, since you did not specify, we are playing chess, then reading comprehension challenge, then laze in the afternoon game.

>>35944824
That’s some pretty convincing reasoning. And since they’ve never even been outside of Japan or even heard of Lithuania they won’t recognize the tale or trick associated with it and they’ll be caught blind.
Now I have to wonder how upset they might be at having been tricked by a human in a competition. Again.

>>35946116
That’s a pretty good idea too. But I also heard beans might not actually work against oni and that they’re only sort of pretending to be afraid of them.

>>35947642
>beans might not actually work against oni and that they’re only sort of pretending to be afraid of them.
If the contest takes place in Gensokyo and you believe hard enough, you have a chance at influencing your surroundings.

>>35925180
imagine them beating the shit out of you without mercy haha wouldn't that be funny

>>35950799
That would be a pretty good joke ha ha. It would be even funnier if after they’re all done beating you they get all worked up and take turns relieving their pent up sexual urges on your weak and battered body. You’d be too hurt to try and even resist their advances ha ha.

>>35925180
Civilian grade firearms is all it would take off anyone of them.

>>35951322
Anon, I don't think any of them carry civilian grade firearms

>>35945281
Kasen is not an oni, she's just an hermit... Plus she's very busy.

>>35954807
I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I took her hair buns off then.

>>35954807
Are you sure about that?

>>35905284
>Do you take this opportunity?
Hell yeah. Carpe diem, as they say.

>>35962359
you will ruin her hair

>>35966016
>that one episode about Setsubun
>Suika fraternizes with humans and is enthusiastic about the celebration
>Kasen winces just at the mere idea of a bean touching her

Seems beans only work on evil oni.

>>35946404
What drinks are we using?

>>35977155
Probably sake

>>35977177
I guess other types of alcohol just aren't available over there.

Never tried sake myself so could I bring some of my own stuff. I'm sure any oni would appreciate the opportunity to try a new drink.

>>35905284
I'm probably able to drink at least one of them under the table, while onis can drink a lot, their main drink is sake, which isn't all that strong compared to western drinks or vodka. In addition to this I'm pretty damn good at drinking people under the table with hard liquor, so at the end of the day I'd argue i have a decent shot at pulling it off. Now whether I want to go live in gensokyo is an entirely other question, I'm a filthy EOP, so if I went I'm not understanding or speaking shit and probably either gonna die horribly or I'm gonna be a hermit.

>>35977682
Some 2hus could still be communicated with even if you don't speak the common tongue.

>>35924846
Hitler went to gensokyo multiple times then apparently

>>35943443
>So how do you trick them ina hugging competition so you don’t end up getting squeezed to death?
Say the hug has to be as comforting as possible. Yuug already has an advantage, so all she has to do is not use her bear strength.

>>35984604
Of course he did, who else gave the lunarians their general outlook on things?

>>35945281
No. Kasen is not an oni.

>>36001284
So she'll be fine with sharing some beans then?

>>36001284
She is

>>36001284
>Kasen is not an oni.

>>36021271
Why did you have to post this, now I'm tearing my hair out over which one's the cutest. I guess, I'll go with Suika.

>>36011082
Yeah. It's just beans.

>>36023463
Suika is definitely the cutest, however, I think you'll find the other two have certain charms of their own.

>>35974406
Kasen is just picky about her food is all.

Fuck the challenge, all you have to do is pick an oni.
Kasen would be the easiest because all you'd have to do is sit there and listen to her talk about Gensokyo before answering her question of if you still want to go there.

>>35925899
Suika is extremely knowledgeable and wise, though.

Like, seriously. She's only bad at lying

>>35974406
It's a matter of belief. Suika is like the free-est oni, and believes in not having weaknesses and not succumbing to other oni traits like "kidnap humans". Yuugi cops to having a bean weakness and Kasen clearly believes it. Patchouli actually has said three bean weakness is entirely fabricated BY oni for WANT of weakness, even.

There are reasons that canonically, Yuugi is jealous of Suika.

>>35905284
Sex with no breaks with onis until death. Doesn't sound like a bad way to die

>>36052042
>She's only bad at lying
I mean, she's an oni.
It makes sense she'd be bad at lying.

>>36052090
Why did oni kidnap humans in the first place, was it to eat them or other purposes?

>>36067976
Oni don't come from nowhere buddy

>>36068938
This.

>>36068938
Where do they come from then?

>>36068938
If Oni are mammals then it's obvious where they come from

>>36068938
So they'd turn you into an oni?

>>36068938
I dont get it, explain in great detail.

>>36087140
Gods created the oni in order to build the world. They used to be benevolent in the early stories, but then changed into assholes during the medieval japan period.

>>35994533
The Lunarians are the nazis who established a moon base and went back in time

>>36087909
What made them go bad? Where the evils of the (relatively) modern world too much for them to bare?

>>36098367
Nah, they just got bored. They didn't really have much work to do at that point. Not everyone can handle the neet lifestyle.

>>36098367
Humans decided to be a bunch of dickheads.

>>36106374
I would treat Suika with all the love and respect I could offer, and then some more

>>35908803
>>35919351
Not so fast, muttmerican schools have armed guards now.

>>35905284
I could beat them at a progressive rock trivia contest!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSWg41bfVTo

>>36116825
Who said it has to be in america? There are other countries with lax gun control.

>>36067976
It's just intimidation, but sometimes food

>>36116108
Funny you say that, because Suika decided to forgive humans instead of holding a grudge against them.

>>36021271
Which of the three would you hug?

>>36146321
Yuugi. She seems like the best for hugs. I'd say Kasen, but the missing arm might feel strange.
Suika's cute and all, but she's got the body of a little girl.

>>36146510
Hugs are about the embrace.
Kasen would be just as good as the other two.
Suika can make herself larger for the hug, but I don't think it would change much.

>>36146321
Why do you force me to choose?

>>36153815
A hug from an oni is likely to be your last

>>36154152
and first

>>36159415
Well, at least you got that one in.

I'm noticing a disturbing lack of cute oni in this thread.

>>36174015
I cant tell if thats supposed to be a forest or just grass

>>36174015
I want to headpat this drunken oni and then have her grow big and headpat me back.

>>36148300
I was thinking more about breasts. Kasen would still be good, but I definitely would go Yuugi for sure.

>>35905284
the only reason ill be at gensokyo is that i was dragged over there unconscious and most likely dead

>>36174015
True.
This thread needs more Suika.

snowball fights with Suika!

>going to gensokyo
literally everywhere but the temple and village would be supremely dangerous

enjoy being Rumias lunch..

>>36190791
>literally everywhere would be supremely dangerous
Yes, because of me.

>>36190353

What are the limitations of Suika's powers?

>>36208089
I guess she could go overboard with her density manipulation and either dissipate or crush herself into a black hole.

Congratulations, anon, you've passed the test. Now all that's left for you is to drink this bowl of sake in one sip and you'll wake up in Gensokyo.

>>36190791
Rumia isn't smart enough to feed herself.
You'd live unless you really were dumb enough to get yourself eaten by a youkai too lazy to hunt.

>>36224783
what is one sip?

>>36247723
As much as you can fit in your mouth

>>36218619
I was thinking more about what things' density she can manipulate. Is it just herself? Then how does she not have wardrobe malfunctions?

>>36251646
From what I've gathered, she can manipulate pretty abstract densities. Like the density of people in an area in order to cause gatherings and parties.

>>36271897
Could her horns be used as pull up bars?

>>36285043
Yeah, I would say so.
Suika is quite sturdy.

>>36301675
And yet she looks rather soft in places

>>36301675
Would she let you though?

>>36316892
Maybe. Who knows.
She can make herself large enough for you to do them on one horn.

>>36285043
Might be hard to get a good grip

>>35905284
Nah

>>36301675
/jp/ is interested in pull-ups! /jp/ is strong!