/jp/ - Otaku Culture

my good girl woife

Succubus gangbang on the human boy!!

>>35868467
It's a JoJo reference

>>35868467
SON OF A BITCH, AGAIN. Oh well.

>>35868488
I don't do gangbangs, only marriage.

>>35868499
Soothing Radio Voice-bucus is fast! That's why she plays slow songs, to compensate.

>>35868484
nothing like hanging out with your platonic friend and doing platonic things together platonically

>>35868555
Humanities' collective big sisters.

>>35868588
then why does my guardian age like to feel me up whenever I am near and I always wake up in her arms

When was the moment you realized you had passed the point of no return?

For me it was the time I was fapping to an image and realized I was focusing on the girls oversides inhuman hands primarily.

Big meaty claws or big fluffy paws. I just can't get enough of them.

>>35868484
My bad girl woife

>>35868467
>call in to DJ Saucy Succ to make a request
>ask for your favorite song: "The good succ" by the Succubabes
>the line goes dead after a moment of silence
>a few seconds later, a different DJ announces that Saucy Succ had to leave
>tells the listeners to congratulate her on her engagement
>your car radio hisses static
>a ping interrupts the harsh noise
>static resumes
>a few minutes later, another ping
>and another
>pings increasing in frequency
>shut off the radio and drive to work
>radio station van screeches to a halt outside your work as you're eating lunch later that day
Should have clarified that you just wanted to hear the song. Now the whole city is going to listen to your honeymoon while your wife blasts obnoxious sound effects and runs your moans through her audio editing software.

>>35868612
That's an onee-chan then, not a big sister.

>>35868622
I'm perfectly fine, anon. There is no slippery slope.
>>35868626
I wonder what kind of girl would host a call-in talk show. I need the MGC version of Lazlo from GTA3.

FTHGAN!

Absolutely massive faith.

>>35868676
my faith is rising deep within my pants right now

>>35868622
I don't fap to any of the pictures I save, even the lewd ones. I just like the art and the cute girls.

>>35868671
Arranged marriage?

>>35868622
When I started fantasizing about having a mamono wife.

>>35868588
I like to think angels and shogs both claim that title. Shoggoth since they predate humanity and being born on the same world is like being family in a cosmic sense.

>>35868671
This is really cute, is there more?
I really hope it's not a situation where he's been dead for years judging by old that picture is

>>35868763
it's likely just a painting she found in a shipwreck. they find all sorts of cool stuff in shipwrecks

>>35868622
masturbating to the sweaty skin under meaty tail above butt

You didn’t really think you could just steal from a dragon’s hoard and run away did you?

>>35868924
where's her wings? fake dragon

>>35868924
her milk hoard?

>>35868924
Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in front of my house?

>>35868924
What are you going to do? Rape me?

>>35869093
>t.man boob slapped

>>35868555
Make your wife drink a doppel potion then

>>35868626
>ask for your favorite song: "The good succ" by the Succubabes
>Should have clarified that you just wanted to hear the song
But you did?

>>35869100
Slapping someone with man boobs is a horrible thing to do

x is best girl

>>35868924
>power-walks
>dragon with fat tits can't keep up due to her lack of fitness and her fatty-fat tits weighing her down

>>35869166
this is (your) flatty wife under that "fatties" titties

>>35868676
>Touhou ~ Mountain of Faith

Be on the lookout! If you see this masked cat, notify the authorities immediately!

does your wife larp that she is younger then she actually is?

>>35869359
Sabbathfags need not say anything.

MGC drug dealer but she sells stuff like manticore venom or rage mushrooms.
Would you buy some? All the cools kids do

>>35869359
I have no idea. She refuses to give a straightforward answer to her age.

>>35869462
hag, no doubt about it, at least past 500

>>35869359
My demon wife says she's just a few years older than me and nothing else, but I can find her in old history books.

Those of you currently visiting the Mist Continent, maybe stay inside today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuyOasqbczg

>>35869466
It's likely, but with her there's always the possibility that she's just being coy about it because she can.

>>35869519
just assume she is and make some hints like talking about if her back is fine, or how are her hips

>>35869359
>Wight larping that she's only 500 years old again

>>35869535
>or how are her hips
Are you trying to trick him into a pelvis pulverization?

>When you accidentally bring up MGE to normies

>>35869574
maybe

>>35869574
God, imagine being dominated by a Cheshire with a huge butt and fat thighs.

>>35869573
>lich larping that she is only 250 actually 3000

>>35869578
No is that dumb, right?

>>35869640
>Oh ho? Could it be you're craving my big fox milkers?

>>35869578
MGE going mainstream is my deep, dark fear.
I still remember that time some vapid whore reviewed first tome and complained its sexist, because mamono don't cheat. I was afraid it will catch momentum, but thankfully no one noticed.

>>35869676
>Accidentally bring mge to the normies
>Get prometheus’d
>Chained to a rock forced to watch griffons as griffons edge you for hours

>>35869676
I honestly don't get why people take it so seriously, it's a series meant for one thing and should treated as such

>>35869691
Well apparently it isn't. Outright porn is maybe 30% of MGE stuff I see (can be biased), rest is usually cute arts, memes, fun stuff like comics or stories and some small portion of /tg/ faggotry.
Maybe it was meant to be porn setting, but both community and the author made it something more and it's cool.
Also: normies anywhere is usually death of the hobby/media/game.

post funny

>>35868467
Here's an idea/headcanon:

While it is true that Incubi are nearly indistinguishable from regular human men unless you look at close subtleties. One can potentially recognize a Demon Realm Incubus, a monstergirl's husband, from the very apparel/clothing they wear. As in depending on the quality and craftsmanship of the clothing and accessories he wears, a incubus can be identified by the high-end luxurious demon realm clothes and accessories in his person. Yes, human men can also be adorned in fancy clothes and jewels but Incubi and Demon Realm Men end up being adorned in fanciful high end luxury clothes and accessories by their monstergirl wives/girlfriends/fiancées as a means of marking them as being taken and as theirs. Most especially if you see a human man clad in a Hugo Boss-looking formal suit with pins and medals in an otherwise "non-suitable" place and location and is comfortable with what he's wearing regardless of potential climate. Chances are, that man is not only an incubus, but a Demon Realm Man who's a husband to a monstergirl. And in rare occurances, such sight of such type of men turn out to be husbands to Lilims or any Higher Arch-Succubus.

Thoughts?

not funny

>>35869773
Incubi are not diffrent from human men in any way than dick size. This means they dress in a way they like. If I incubized I would still wear tracksuits like I do now.

how quickly would have you been nabbed by a monster girl if you grew up in a city filled with them

>>35869826
not very, i looking for undead dragons

>>35869829
just dick around in the city graveyard

>>35869826
You'd propably have a mamono childhood friend, as soon as Your parents started bringing You to play with other kids outdoors. Then both families would probly arrange for You to be in the same class in school and as soon as Your dick starts working properly - You're married.
I don't think it would be some weird arranged marriage, more like monster instincts telling Your wife to stick with You and parents knowing what's up.

>>35869578
It's a pretty niche fetish and I doubt it will become "mainstream". And even then, KC doesn't seem like the person who would change anything for western ""fans"". Stuff like Gregori is MGU makes that clear, he just tells them to fuck off.

>>35869834
Rolling for childhood friend in MGC.
https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Special:RandomInCategory/Mamono

>>35869851
>nightguant
guess I am playing doctor quite more than usual then

>>35869851
>Houri
But they aren't even monsters.
And do we have to have the thing where we're both prema virgins?

>>35869866
Ah, well you'll have one clingy childhood friend.

>>35869851
>mucus toad
I licked a girl and I feel numb

>>35869883
>"Hey anon, check out what I can do with my tongue"
>She proceeds to lick every part of you as a "joke"

>>35869851
>mershark
i played around canals

>>35869851
>Balisak
my friends has cool masks, I wonder why she never takes it off also I like making her some as well

>>35869909
You were thinking of teabagging her or what?

>>35869924
no, literally making her some masks so she can wear them

>>35869851
>Ren Xiongmao
The pressure from my family and hers to marry each other and have tons of kids would be enormous, gotta save the pandas.

>>35869901
Well, she'll get very fussy if you ever get hurt, especially if you start bleeding.

>put my heart and soul into the sabbath story I made
>my biggest writing project so far
>barely anyone cares
>short momster ones get a lot better feedback.

Damn lolibabas are bad for business. Oh well, back to writing milfs. Especially the stronger, muscle ones.

>>35869851
>ocelomeh
her pops makes some good food

>>35869941
Sometimes it just doesn't hit a cord with people.
Hell, the author of "I have no mouth and I must scream" hates that book since it was apparently the one they put the least effort into making yet it become their most famous work.
In short, sometimes you just get unlucky.

>>35869932
>Her mom asks you when you're planning to have kids
>You tell her that you are just friends and you're still in school
>She says she understand but you also know to be slightly more weary of her food now incase she puts any aphrodisiac in it.

>>35869941
>>35869949
On that note
>Oh well, back to writing milfs. Especially the stronger, muscle ones.
Damn, now I really want a story about a milf/CC Salamander or Lizard girl.

>>35869851
>Ochimusha
>see a zipangese girl on the playground
>she looks cold, but she claims she's fine
>give her my Candace the beeg red hellhound jacket
>she asks if I want to play "Knight and her Lord"
>agree
>never stop playing it

>>35869941
Better luck next time.
>milfs. Especially the stronger, muscle ones.
Now there's some diamond worthy stuff.

>>35869359
I don't have a clue how old my wurm wife is because she doesn't know how old she is.

All I know is that I'm pretty sure her age is at least three digits.

>>35869851
>Hakutaku
>always comes over to your room or ask you to come to hers to study together
>she's saved your grades more times than you can remember, and you've helped her learn to relax whenever she gets too into her studies
>one day, she shyly asks you if you want to review the material from Sex Ed with her
>end up having lots of awkward, first-time sex

>>35870001
Ask her dad if he's still around.

>>35869851
>Hinezumi
>known her as long as you can remember
>never lets go of you
>declares that she's going to be your bride to everyone you know
>keeps stalking you in school to make sure that nobody else is talking to you

>>35870014
sounds more like a shirohebi

>>35870002
>"So how are we gonna study for the Sex Ed test coming up?"
>"First hand experience"

>>35870038
>Sex Ed test is just everyone porking in class
>you get an A cause you conceived during the test

>>35869851
>the fucking family index
i have no words for how crazy my life will be

>>35870038
I wonder if she'd get some of the answers wrong because of that.
>"What? Average refractory period is 15 mins? But Anon kept getting hard instantly when we were together..."

>>35870009
He's not. When I ask all she says is that he's gone to a place far away.

The problem is that if that's a euphemism or if he's actually just gone far away and I'm afraid to push the issue.

>>35870049
I feel like a doujin with that premise exists. I forgot its name though.

>>35870049
>The one guy that has like 4 girls fighting over him doesn't even have to do anything since it's gonna be a "group project"

>>35869851
>Lich
Are we 100% sure she's a kid?
Anyway, seems like I'm gonna play doctor quite a lot with her.

>>35870025
Having a childhood monster friend tends to make them a little yandere.

>>35870056
I'm very sorry Anon, but I am afraid Your father in law moved to Manchester.

>>35869941
Which one is it?
I love lolibaba enough to have read all of Towako.
I'll tell you if it's just shit because of your skill.

How do we handle the elf menace?

>>35869851
>gazer
oh no~

Why is the monster girl fetish so harem focused?

From monster musume, to 99% of monster girl books on amazon. It's all about one dude being the target of many different monster women

>>35869773
>>35869793
But! How can I help prevent my human woman friend/daughter/best friend from being near an Incubus!? From what I heard any human woman can monsterize from just being around them, I don't want my human friend monsterizing!

>>35870214
Because a harem means that multiple d8fferent monstergirls can be shown consistently i guess.

>>35870185
>The virgin knife-ear vs the chad sword-ear

>>35870219
You don't need to, since incubi are never interested in human women, except for a very unique situation when they were somehow incubized first while having strong feelings for a particular girl.
Your gf won't monsterize from existing near an incubus, unless there's a lot of them and monsters around, in which case it's a demon realm and she would monsterize anyway.

>>35870247
Ahhhhh good point

>>35870219
>monsterization
>bad in any way
Back to /tg/ with you

>>35869949
Honeslty, I kinda expected this since for a lot of people even within mg fans this stuff is automatically repulsive. This is like the alps, there is no middle ground. I also learned its a lot better to use chapters instead pushing out a 10k+ word work, which was also a nightmare to format from ms word.
It kinda surprised me how well the manticore story, and especially Andy's stuff was recieved. I mean I literally made him to be repulsive as much as possible.
>>35869966
>>35869981
I have two milf salamander stories and a dragon one. I noticed a lot of you guys are into dragon type girls.
>>35870147
The sabbath one an anon requested here. I have to say lolis are not really my tipes so I had to put in some extra effort too. Also I'm just an amateur, so its probably mediocre at best, not to mention trying to connect 8 characters inatead of 2 is kinda hard.
Oh well at least it was good for learning.

>>35870273
Anon, sometimes. There are exceptionally beautiful and sexy human women with majestic milk silos who don't need a set of horns or wings or scaly hides because of monsterization. If anything monsterization will tarnish their beauty of such uncommon women.

>>35869851
>Monke
Help

Stone Wolf Steph Austin!

>>35870342
But imagine Mercedes with bat wings and horns and she sucks the energy out of you while making you jizz on repeat

I do want to see an expasion on a lilim's transformation abilities
the variety she has under her power and the lenges she has to go to to turn women into dragons and other high grades

>>35870374
No.
Embrace monke

>>35870407
Nothing has been said about any "effort" being put into lilim based TF outside of dragons becuase dragons are snowflaky that way (I consider them to be the second most snowflakey race MGE has to offer)
Ake druella for example who's able makes a 9 tailed inari and an echidna (both monsters played up in terms of power) with no challenge

>>35870422
But I won't be able to keep up

>>35870431
At most dragons are a distant third behind lilims and baphomets.

>>35870374
>Help
na

>>35870458
In all honesty? lilims are not that specail
ouside of the princess thing, they are just super succubi with transformation variety
Even the "mind break by just being there" is a joke becuase quite a few people get off on insta-losing to lv1 slimes, so whats so special whent lilims do it?

How in the crap do i get a Lilim wife? I'm not smart or particularly handsome, i'm not a hero, i don't have powers, fuck i don't even have a real job, and Lilims are the rarest of the rare, the top crop of monsterdom, there's probably less then 50 total existing
Besides ever since word got out of my preference nobody has taken me seriously AND i've been getting a non stop flood of succubuses who knock at my door trying to trick me with white hair dye

>>35870555
>How in the crap do i get a Lilim wife?
You don't because they're not real.

>>35870555
>write love letter to Druella because why not
>a week later there's a knock at the door at 3 in the morning
>everything after this is just a blur
>wake up some point the next day in a you-shaped crater in the bed with a naked lim getting out of the shower

>>35870555
You don't because you're not real.

>>35870564
Not falling for Order propaganda

Where do I find the starving almost feral type vampires, it’s cruel to leave a once noble lady to sleep another day without any blood

>>35869941
If it's any consolation, i find lolis and baphos repulsive, but found the story quite nice to read, and it was probably the best written one out of the ones you made so far
Having that said, i won't go back to it again since as i said i do find lolis revolting
The problem with writing stuff that isn't a commonly accepted fetish or a wildly unpopular thing is that you get a lot of backlash/ get ignored purely because of what the text is talking about and not text quality itself
Magus Anon made a Dark Elf story some time ago which i loved (as both a Dark Elf and extreme BDSM enthusiast) that was really well written, and everyone still went apeshit over it purely cause it was about a Dark Elf doing Dark Elf stuff
Don't stop writing about controversial stuff if it's what your hearth tells you to do, but don't expect a lot if any recognition for it

>>35870601
>Starving, near-feral vampire
>Extremely desperate
>Tries to steal away a husband from a group of ghouls living in a rundown crypt
>Is so weak that she gets captured and humiliated by them
>The man and the ghouls take turns teasing her
>She can have some blood if an only if she signs a magically binding contract to worship their husband and obey his every order

>>35868625
Did she bring or is she take?

>>35870601
I'm gonna invite a near-feral vampire into my bedroom

>>35868625
No! My burg!

>>35870601
Tease vampires by opening your door to one but don't welcome her in and start to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure this is a crime in MGC, but it's worth it.

>>35870400
my favourite is Macho Mino Rhonda Savage
>I am... the cream, yeah.... the cream of the crop!

>>35870246
Smol, but still Huffable

>>35869851
>creeping coin
Imagining a wholesome plot where she falls head over heels for her completely non-greedy childhood friend

>>35869851
>Ushi-Oni
I liked to play around in the mountains and bumped into her one day.
Get told off at home. Ushis are dangerous, stay away from them.
Sneak off to go and see my Ushi friend everyday, promise that when I grow up I'll marry her.

>>35870619
Yeah, seems like that. That sabbath story drained the fuck out of me, and it but at least it made the Anon who wanted it happy. I'm at fault too, because I only post my stuff here, but I'm not really familiar with other places that like mge.

>>35871133
>She keeps offering him all the things he could ever want
>Gold, games, clothes and even cars
>He wants none of it
>He only wants to have a friends he can share happy moments with
>and a wife to share the rest of his life with
>and as it turns out, that is also a thing she can give him

>>35869851
>werewolf
i love doggies and snuggles

>>35871263
>happily married for many years
>living in comfort, but none of the riches she could give him
>turns to the coin on their 20th anniversary
>shit eating grin
>"Maybe the real treasure was the friend I made along the way"

>>35869851
Damn.

>>35869767
Automatons jealous of household appliances

>>35869851
>Wererabbit
She better go easy on pranking the moon rabbits

>>35869851
https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Night_Gaunt
I guess I go on a lot of Dream Quests.

>>35869851
>living armor
I get to be a knight and do knight things, cool, all I need now is a cool sword

>>35869851
>dragon zombie
Holy shit

make way for a young lady

>>35871695
>You were that weird kid that kept playing on the cementary
>one day You came home with a dragon zombie salivating herself on Your shoulder
>Your terrified parents didn't even try to pry her off You

>>35871798
Well, if my age is on the clock, I suppose

>>35869231
>"See! Snakes have long tongues too! It's not only Suwako!"

>>35869851
>Redcap
Uooooh?

>>35871885
kanako is better than suwako, convince me otherwise

What sort of profession would you choose if you lived in MGE-verse? Alchemist? Mercenary? Hero? Elementalist?

>>35872047
Hag wrangler

>>35869851
>living armor
adventurer dad and sidekick mom.should be more careful.of bringing unmarked relics in ruins back home without testing them first

>>35872047
i'd probably be an independent researcher

>>35872047
I be a chef and get a restaurant that caters to big girls who don't want judgemental loli eyes on them as they eat big girl-sized portions.

Their smiles are bigger than normal people so it's even more fulfilling to see them satisfied with a good meal.

>>35872047
i'd probably cashier and be a villain on the weekends or something

>>35872047
Wizard, an actual one not the meme kind of "Wizard"

>>35869359
The opposite. She's actually around my own age, but sorta larps that she's been around for centuries.

She has the knowledge to back it up, but that's because she "reads a lot of books", as she explains it.

>>35872047
I'll stick with the library, it's the only place I'm comfortable in.

>>35869851
>Dorome
Yes! I will love her and make sure she is one fertile piece of land.

>>35872047
i always wanted to be a blacksmith
shits comfy

>>35872047
Alchemist, I always liked the idea of potion brewing and it meshes well with potential shenanigans.
Aside from that it's the fastest route to having a cute Lich wife that can get surprisingly worried about your health.

>>35872047
House-husband

>>35872047
honestly, peither asome rich old monster's plaything or an adventurer who likes to go ruins, castles, and other places filled with monsters

>>35872047
I'd run a farm with my Holstaur wife and our children.

Holstaurs bukkakeing you with their breast milk.

>>35872566
kinda wasteful

>>35872586
Well she could use it to mark you, so no other holstaur would start breast feed you.

>>35868467

>>35872047
I’d probably just stick to being a groundskeeper. I do suspect I’ll have more coworkers on the job too.

>>35872646
i kinda want get licked by those tails

>>35872047
I’d be a street walking Mofu fluffer.

>>35872047
Prostitute

>>35872694
Would you only offer your services to a high-class mofu-haver or would you be first come, first fluff?

>>35872791
Bitch I gotta pay rent. I don’t care if it’s some old hag with nine tails or some cheap raccoon with five bucks; they’re getting brushed and fluffed.

winglets, y/n?

I'm still ashamed that you guys managed to convert me to being an Alpfag. Now I can't help but think about fucking her.

Time for your physical vagiber inspection, Kiki

>>35872907
>he fell for it
lol

>>35872907
>convert
These threads hate alpposting, you became an alp lover by yourself

>>35872856
Is she still a winglet if she's got multiple pairs?

>>35872943
The opposite of love is not hate its apathy

Far over the Misty Mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away
'ere break of day

>>35873004
Careful anon, you’re gonna summon the Leanan Sidhes if you keep posting poetry

>>35872916
KIKI NO THAT OUTFIT WAS EXPENSIVE

>>35873041
It's a song, not a poem!

>>35873110
Aren’t songs just poems with a beat?

>>35870049
>Fulfilled the entire point of sex
>Only an 'A' grade
Damn what do you need for an A+?

>>35873137
offer to fuck the lonely sex ed teacher to demonstrate your knowledge of sex ed

>>35873127
Well at any rate it's a very nice song and if there's any Art Fairies what want to go on adventures with me I'll take 'em

>>35868467

>>35873156
>virgin teaching sex ed
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

>>35873161
This but with a wisp

>>35869851
>https://monstergirlencyclopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Witch
I refuse.

>>35873193
Hakus are coming to beat your ass. Start running.

>>35873219
I've been going to the gym. I will rape them

>>35873206
I was just reading Witch Hat Atelier the other day, witches are adorable.

>>35873238
So have they.

>>35873219
The only ass that's gonna get a beating is her's from behind.

>>35873219
perfect, been needin some haku milk to drink

>>35873251
>haku starts going to the gym
>get horny when she comes home in her gymwear and rape her
>ruin all of her progress with a baby bump

>>35868467

>>35873323

>>35873323
Man, I like flayers but getting turned into a squid is just too much for me. How much time would even spend in human form vs squid?

>>35868763
I got this one

>>35869640
>whoops, ha ha
>I acciedntally spilled my fat fucking milkers out of the hot tub
>can I get a hand wrangling them back in?
>or two?

>>35873401
I feel like I’d like tentacles more if they actually had hands instead of giant clusters of tentacles

>>35873416
As much time as they need.

>>35869941
Never let a lack of >(you)s discourage you. Sometimes a story will take off, sometimes it won't. Enjoying what you wrote is the most important part. Knowing people enjoy what you make is nice, but some stories will get more love than others. I would also watching what time you post. Posting a story during dead hours or at the end of a thread means that most people will miss it.

>>35870619
I couldn't get into that dark elf story but you're right, it was well written

>>35872907
>her
Oh WOW

>>35873631
It depends on the alp, anon

>>35870619
Pissing people off with the dark elf story wasn't my intention. I understand that it wasn't as "huggy" as most other MGE stories, but come on, if she's holding a fucking whip in her canon picture, she probably isn't going to be baking you pies in an apron.

CUNNY

got milk?

Protect your trash from trash pandas!

>>35873873
:weary:

>>35873914
But that's recycling, ennit?

>>35873873
wish i could see her butt

>>35873914
I feel like I woud have a harem due to me not being able to see monster girl on the street

>>35873873
Crying at the beach rn

>>35872393
Mantibutt

>>35873914
I am trash

>>35874055
trash panda raid n rape in 3, 2, 1

>>35874083
Man, who drew these chalk outlines of guns on my walls?

>>35873323
Imagine if he needs glasses.

I want to be some dark mage' big dumb lug bodyguard

>>35874191
Anon no, she’ll turn you into a shota!

>>35874215
I fail to see a down side

>>35873690
I think people got butthurt because they expect wholesome stuff by default if they read mge stories.

>>35873498
B-but my endorphin juices...
I usually post the links around evening cest.

>>35874234
Anon no she will sit on (You) and smugly laugh a “fufufu” as your shota dick relentlessly ejaculates in her FAT ass

>>35874302
and whats wrong with that, just look at that behind

>>35874302
>>35874325
>If his age is on the clock, it’s fine to ride his cock

>>35874298
That isn't a bad time, but I think most of the thread is at work during those hours. And don't forget, not everyone who reads it leaves a (you). Ao3 has better statistics.

>>35872047
I'll be a dark lord and be a mercenary as a hobby

>>35872047
Adventurer with an alchemist/enchanting hobby.

very implortent bisniss

>>35874234
your dick will stop working and you get a gay face, voice, physique and shitty hair.

>>35872856
need the source on this succ, ive seen them before

>>35874342
that reminds me of one of my favorite doujin
just cause one line that is said
https://nhentai.net/g/364853/7/

>>35873914
I would ask if she'd like to come in for a hot meal

>>35874405
Koakuma from Touhou.

>>35873323
Absolutely blessed. Need more abysal related shitposting

>>35874359
I know that.
I might post during afternoon burger hours then. For those who are interested in my poop writing, you can always use anubis.moe too.

>>35874399
>dick will stop working
Quite the opposite, as a shota incubus you’d have a huge cock probably

>>35874448
would still end up looking and sounding gay while nobody and maybe not even her would treat you with respect again

>>35874424
Not a fan of the orc part but the rest was pretty good

For me it’s a mother teaching her daughter:
https://nhentai.net/g/73641/

>>35874398
Who is getting a Kiki call?

Tail ass

Forcing the dragons that fought over the same man to reconciliate

Gonna use a manticore’s tail as an fleshlight as she spoons me

>cute dummy
>makes (You) a dummy too with her scales
>also by far one of the cutest designs in the series
>nobody talks about her
Explain

>>35874936
Just because I don't want the responsibility of being the smart one doesn't mean I want to be a dummy.

>>35874936
Because I unironically like yandere time traveler moth, something about the more buggy feel gets me

>>35874936
Not funny enough

>>35874936
I like her. I just dont really poat her. Plus i already got a harem so not much point to post her.

>lich wants go on a date with Anon but she is worried about being too boring
>asks cheshire to teach her how to be funny

>>35869851
Ok, this one will have a lot of girl-friends along to play with too...

>>35875180
Or, you spend a simple childhood playing with your "centaur"-gal pal.
But then puberty hits, your body starts changing, and you start geting these 'horny' feelings for her and some other girls.
As her puberty hits, your centaur-pal starts getting 'doubly-horny' and having similar feelings about you... and about you and those other girls...

>get in loser, we are going to snuggletown

>vampires try not to fuck human men until they turn into incubi because they view them as inferior otherwise
So if I were to down a Succubus Nostrum to instantly become an incubus and then waltz into a vampire’s castle and propose she’d actually be nice?

>>35875356
Maybe, but it sounds more funny to reject her anyways.

>>35874936
i'd never actually read them, but that description sounds good. thanks for the reccomendation

>>35875315
Imagine the comfy.

>>35872916
show vagene

>>35875315
I'm not a loser. I'm a strong and independent man!

best monster for snuggling?

>>35875475
bogey, wurm, yeti, foxs, lamias and angels

FOR THE LAST TIME! Offering yourself up naked in ribbons to a monster girl only counts as a gift for her. You need to accept a gift as well

>>35874342
I like the kind of Dark Mages that start that phrase with "If my age.." instead.

>>35875512
then get a witch for that

>>35875487
But my daughters IS my gift.

>>35869093

>>35875528
>witch
They're 1. larpers and 2. not Dark Mages. So, lewd loli Dark Mage it is.

>>35874936
They're all too high on pofu to post about their wives.

>>35875571
they would be just as likely to larp as lolis as well

would you do this to your ""young"" wife, anon?

>>35875693
Maybe one big would do as well.

If the queen of Dragonia can pretend to be a tour guide, it wouldn't be too weird for a lilim to pretend to be a tour guide in Royal Makai.

>>35868484
now that's just mean

>>35875790
and whats wrong with being a bit mean?

>>35875693
If your wife is a hag you have an obligation to do so

Pick one monster to excessively lick, kiss, and slobber all over your face for a couple hours.

Waifufags, state your waifu(s), but pick one monster other than your waifu(s) that you'd like doing this to you

>>35875582
Doubt it, they aren't a permaloli race.

>>35875868
Give me SOFT hag wives.

>>35875899
why should I?

>>35872047
I'd want to be a Sorcerer. Not sure how that works out career-wise... maybe I operate an eclectic shop on the edge of a small town? I could be a healer, or could create and sell enchanted objects, or just make damn good metalwork
More likely I would end up as an 'Apprentice' to one of the high-power magick inclined mamano

>>35875916
Because you're not a faggot?

>>35875915

>>35875868
>>35875915
Bully hags and tell them that they aren't 17

>>35875952
they are 17000

>>35875934
>Blind, CC dark mage wife who see's using magic/lifeforce.
>Whenever she says your lifelight is intoxicating.

>>35875952
Gonna squeeze.
Gonna get suplexed.

>>35875966
>she tends to kiss you a lot to "make sure you are there"
>her hands also tend to wander and touch your dick more often then not
>you often help her read and sign things
>She tends to cling to you a lot so you don't leave her

>>35875899
>excessively lick, kiss, and slobber all over your face for a couple hours.
My wisp wife definitely
>pick one monster other than your waifu
Uhhhhh cursed sword I guess

>>35875899
I’m an apophisfag but I’d let a ghoul-flavored dragon zombie lick my face.

>>35875899
>excessively lick, kiss, and slobber all over your face for a couple hours.
my wurm wife already does that
>pick one monster other than your waifu(s) that you'd like doing this to you
Akamame

>>35875899
Wilmarina.

>bullying a cursed sword by refusing to find her a host

>>35876160
>refuse to seek host for her
>make sure to keep her away from potential hosts
>switch to a normal sword should you be force to duel a woman
>clean her with holy water
>tell the staff at any inns you stay at to ignore the sword, no matter what she promises you
>keep her hilt and guard wrapped in leather and cloth

>Yandere hellhound grinds her pussy on your face every time before you leave the house

>>35876218
>>clean her with holy water
What would a purified sword be like?

>>35876160
>>35876218
That isn’t bullying, that’s just straight up being mean

I'm sorry, but I just wanna stink of hellhound: spit, pussy, ass, even her sweat, I wanna reek of her scent.

>be me, Anon
>going down the street, I see a white van crudely labeled free swords, guns, and vidya
>check it out
>approach the van
>The doors open up to reveal......

>>35876251
Well she shouldn't be a corrupting influence then should she?

>>35876270
Nerdmander

>>35875899
Wight.

She'd be really embrassed the whole time, but secretly enjoy it and ask to do it again at the end.

>>35872047
Spend time reviewing dungeons with my wife. See how good they are for couples or solo adventurers and maybe set up our own to make money every now and then.

>>35868467

>>35876271
When she finds a host, you’re getting stabbed until you’re laying in a puddle of your own sweat, mana, and cum. And the smell will draw plenty of devil bugs right to you

>>35876340
That's it young lady! You'll be spending the weekend in a barrel of holy water!

>>35876337
>Hagtsune so desperate she rapes you in her sleep

>>35876391
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!

>>35876061
Its the little things.
She can tell when you're getting a bone as she sees your lifeforce got a bit 'red'

>>35874484
>>35872393
I love that shit with manticores. I want to see momma manticore teaching her kid how to hunt

>>35876481
>tfw ywn be a seeing eye human for blind monsters

>>35876160
>>35876218
>Not giving them to a office worker and watch as they realize in horror they have to handle a boatload of paperwork.

>>35876500
Sounds extremely humiliating. You are already a toy to your wife, now even your daughter would bully (You) with her tail. You’d be at the bottom of the power ladder of your house, your wife would mock you constantly and whenever you try to argue back she’d tail-onahole your dick causing you to be a moaning mess while she did the chores smugly. When you are finally freed your envious daughter would do the same to try to monopolize daddy.
It’s fucked up man.
>>35876606
>exposed tails
L-Lewd

>>35868467

>>35876340
>>35876391
>>35876452
Will wandering knight anon and his sword ever get along?

>>35876702
_no_

>>35876702
It seems to be a father and teenage daughter relationship.
They'll get over it.

>>35874466
>again
>implying I was respected in the first place
>>35874936
I just don't like moths.

>>35876160
>>35876218
make sure to throw in a few sword puns

>>35876796
i've been enjoying her resurgence

>>35876818
Same. I'm happy too.

>is that a... a m-male boy? I must... SNIFFFF, I'm JOOBING, I'M J-JOOOOBIIIINGGG

K-Kiki? Uhh, whatcha got there?

>>35876796
>>35876818
>>35876883
Any doujins?

>>35876945
that s one weird looking didlo kiki

>>35876936
Based

>>35876945
>Cockmourne hungers

>>35876697
Oh no! Monster closets.

>>35876945
Oi! I told you not to touch my sword!"

>>35876621
It is nice...although in this case she can still mostly see.

Dumb Foxes.

>>35877115
>sword is having the time of her life

>>35875790
*hot

How does one fuck a cursed sword without a host?

>>35877236
Same way you fuck a gargoyle during the day. Just jerk off and cum on them

>>35877266
wat if you cum into the cursed sword scabbard until you filled it and sheathing the sword

>>35877236
Use a grindstone and sharpen her up

>>35877284
That might take a while anon...

>>35877266
sexually harassing gargoyles when they can't fight back! smugly strolling away, bravely away!

>>35877115
>me and your sword have come to an "agreement"

>>35877333
nah, just take some of those monster poisons that make you nonstop cum

>>35877336
She’ll just memorize your scent while she waits for nighttime and then she’ll break into your house and rape you

All humans will lose to foxes eventually. Unless you to another monster first because foxes are polite enough to to steal a man even though they could.

>>35877370
My heart belongs to a Seaport Hime or if it's monster girls then Holstaur

>>35877370
If I lose to one, it has to be one of those rare muscle foxes.

>>35877370
I can’t lose to fox, they’re too ugly and boring. I’ll lose to a Wurm instead

What's healthcare like in the MGE?

>>35877503
Highly unprofessional. Lots of testicular cancer tests, sperm counts, and prostate exams. The ghoul doctor I go to stuffed her tongue down my throat when I said it was sore. I would change doctors, but the demon government demands I see this doctor for some reason.

Would you free moth-chan?

>>35877370
>hags thinking they can catch up to me and have the stamina to keep on going
lol

>>35877524
What would it be like being a sperm donor in the MGE-verse?

>>35877551
No. Criminal Scum stay locked up.

>>35875693
>have a hag wife so old it takes almost four cakes to put the right amount of candles for her age

>>35877503
If I remember right the only healing magic is being pioneered by the Sabbath. The downsides? It's being provided by the Sabbath. This also means that only monster aligned areas actually get it. The upsides? That particular Sabbath is actually pretty professional about it, so it's not THAT bad. They have the best Baphomet.

>>35876621
>seeing eye human
How do I sign up for that?

>>35877503
The vampires keep sneaking tastes from the blood samples.

>>35877578
>donate sperm
>sperm is run through a supercomputer golem who prints out a mana profile
>monster girls can submit a drop of their own blood to test their own mana profiles
>these two tests are cross-referenced, matchmaking services offered based on the results

>>35877551
Why can't she have lamps?

>>35877662
She'll cause a containment breach in her quest for more lamp.

>>35877670
But she looks so sad. Can't she just have one?

>>35877592
jesus, ask her if she seen the big ass dinos on earth
>>35877628
go to the local hospital to get some training and be given to a blind monster who is compatible with you. Be advised, you'll will be snuggled and cuddled a lot. Also most would old retired adventurer who have many tales to tell and have gotten a bit softer

>>35877683
>ask her if she seen the big ass dinos on earth
How do you think they all went extinct?

>>35877703
what is she? A dragon or something?

>>35877683
Seeing eye humans aren't the only type of service humans. You can also help deaf monsters too.

>>35877683
>Be advised, you'll will be snuggled and cuddled a lot.
Being a seeing eye human is great!

>>35877683
So is she a... living fossil?

>>35877551
absolutely, to deny a moth lamps is internationally recognised as a horrible crime

>>35877721
She’s the oldest Wurm in existence. She’s been alive for so long even she lost count of how old she really is!
And it’s not because she can’t count, she totally can! She just has a hard time counting without her rocks.

>>35877736
does she rant about how young uns don't shit

>>35877873
meant for>>35877842

>>35877551
What is she in for?

>>35877943
tax evasion

>>35876621
>hellhound lost her sight in a fight
>informed that she needs a seeing eye human
>protests at every step of the process
>day comes when she's supposed to be introduced to you
>loudly complaining in the office that she doesn't need a human as you open the door
>nose twitches as she picks up your scent, scoffs and sits their in sileince while counciler explains how this works
>you live with her, help her get used to living without sight, help her with any errands etc.
>drive her home, she's silent the whole way there
>begin to set up in your new home
>she's moping on the couch, but her ears are swiveling to follow you around the apartment
>begin setting up your bed in a different room, swear you hear her sigh
>tells you that you can go home, she's just find and she doesn't need you as you make dinner
>only stops berating you as weak and useless when she's devouring the meal you cooked
>she begins "watching" tv while you put the dishes into the dishwasher
>some generic action movie
>take a seat next to her, ask her if you need to describe what's happening
>snorts and tells you that she's seen it a hundred times
>as you watch the movie, you notice her head isn't facing the tv
>she's looking at you, as if she's trying to see where you are
>ask her if everything is alright
>tells you to shut up and stop ruining the movie

>>35877592
That's what those number candles are for.

>>35877654
>sperm is run through a supercomputer golem
lewd