/jp/ - Otaku Culture

the wurm is king

>>34458411
Hug.

||https://twitter.com/kevab666/status/1386787075077324804||

Smoke

>>34458448
No, smoking is unhealthy!

>I'll start off nice and slow. Take away your ability to move. Flesh to stone is an old favorite, but I'd rather you feel everything I do to you
>Hypnotic suggestion it is. I'll make your arms too heavy to lift. And double your sensitivity.
>Then double it again.
>Try not to get too excited while I strip you down.

Don't forget to appreciate succs.

I'm here to show amazons that men can fight too!

>>34458474
just fuck me

>>34458481
Anon, no! You can't be too confident, or else you are setting yourself up for the 2koma

She big!

Fuck me, this took a lot longer than I thought. Been super busy lately. Glad to finally have this done. For >>34090726

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30926279

How are things?

>>34458499
>I'll have you marinate in my goo, mixed with your own sweat and pre.
>To teach you manners
>But first, I need to tease that sweet stuff out of you
>I'd tell you to hold still, but...I guess I already did that.

>>34458548
we've done this song and dance for quite a while, so can we just please have some normal sex, please?

>>34458511
Those are monster propaganda, anon. You can't believe everything you see in Zinpangese comic books

>Anon summoned the milfcubus

kiki delivery service

>>34458523
Good stuff man. Hope things have calmed down some for you

Don't mind me. Just patiently waiting for a sandworm to devour me

>Shoggoth speaks to you in some inhuman language that you can't understand, the sound of which causes you to experience severe headaches and nosebleeds
>She looks shocked and apologetic when she notices this and slowly reaches out towards your face
>The slow, gentle movements ended up being a feint as she suddenly lunges forward and grips your head
>You feel something flowing into your nose and ears, but the sensation stops before panic can fully set in
>She retracts her hands and offers a curtsey
>"My most sincere apologies for the pain I've caused you, as well as the impropriety I displayed by taking matters into my own hands to assuage that pain, Master."
>You subconsciously understand that she's still speaking that weird language, but it actually feels pleasant and relaxing to hear now

Has there ever been a popularity rating for monsters in these threads? As in a list of who's the most liked?

>>34458564
>I don't want to hear you talk
>I want to hear you scream

>>34458627
make it faster and do a jig while you're at it mate. It's like saying I'm ready to get fucked by a sandworm now.

>>34458659
Simply walking or running on sand seems to do that just fine. Anything else may confuse her

>>34458648
ok, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Would you buy this book?

>>34458639
Can shoggoths stop it with the eldritch languages, talks about dead gods and the such? I just want a cute slime maid who can cook me dinner and ride me at the same time

>>34458435
Anon, please.
You're awakening my inner lolicon.

>>34458646
Shogs and Kikis are probably very high up, given the constant wars we have between them here. I'm on Team Shog.

>>34458564
You'll get tired of normal sex after the first few times with a monster.

>>34458475
I can't forget and it hurts.

>>34458668
Walking in the shape of a heart may help.

>>34458523
Fuck, m8. this is some of the funniest work i' ve read to date man. Keep it up man

i had a horrible thougt, an anon who manages to turn the yandere in every single monster girl he meets. to the point that each one has a shrine of him

>>34458687
Let it awaken to bapho pussy

Best maid coming through

here is part one of goat 2koma

>>34458523
Fun read, been enjoying these one shots

>>34458813
and here is part 2

>>34458523
Nice work, thanks for the short

>>34458813
>>34458846
Damn that's some piss poor handwriting

Anyone knows the source or artist of pic related?

Also pic related once again shows that Warhammer Fantasy can be greatly mixed with monstergirls and even MGE rules and logic.

>>34458857
yeah, i know. i wonder why i can draw yet have shit handwriting

>>34458523
>I shouldn't...
>Ok bye
god I love this

>>34458448
No.

>>34458523
Tony, teach that author to write faster

>>34458519
The little white one is going to do something really fucking scary and I want to be trapped in a french kiss with her when she does it.

>>34458846
Baphos are a proud and noble race.

>>34458879
>i wonder why i can draw
Debatable

>>34458987
what, everyone has their faults, man

>>34458813
>>34458846
Cute! I like it anon.

>>34458987
As long as their bodies match their true age

>>34459040
Would create more heretical baphos with

its leg day again, so REMEMBER TO REP FOR YOUR WAIFU

most adorkable mg?

>>34458408
He was clearly asking for it, just look at this! That's practically begging to be raped!

>>34459153

>>34459153

>>34458991
Rude

>>34459153
Cockatrice who talks like Foghorn Leghorn.

>>34459191
Clearly provocation, that is 100% a by-the-books clean rape.

>>34458813
Very nice, as the one who requested it I like it

>>34459251
Then, what's a dirty rape then?

>>34459255
thx

>>34459191
He should've remembered to stay out of striking distance when teasing a snek

>>34458991
I'd say he draws better than all but a handful of people in this thread

>>34459268
Dirty rape is when the boy didn't really deserve it, clean rape was when he was clearly asking for it.

>>34458579
Damn

>>34459140
It's not leg day for me though anon, you're just trying to sabotage my gains so you can sprint towards the mgs faster than me

>>34458579
I have a primal desire to sleep underneath her while she runs her fingers through my hair

>>34458548
Is she big here or have I gotten smaller?

>>34459301
now, what's an example of when the boy didn't deserve it
>>34459321
leg day is everyday

>>34458523
awesome work
currently pouring one out for Xarazi, RIP

>>34459301
The joke is self-explanitory

>>34458523
Good job, it was a fun read. Things are good anon. What's next on the docket?

>>34458873
It still very much lost to me. But how and why is it that Bretonnia and Lescatie are considered the same? I just still recall recent posts and older posts from months ago pointing out that WHF's Bretonnia would literally be Lescatie to the point if Warhammer Fantasy and Monstergirl Encyclopedia were mixed together as one crossover AU setting, Bretonnia would just be replaced with Lescatie and fall and be ruled by Mamono the same way as in Fallen Maidens. Other than both Lescatie and Bretonnia apparently being French and having Knights in shining armor, why would they both be considered the same?

>>34459140
>tfw something came up so I had to delay my workout schedule by a day
I'll get in a good leg day tomorrow, I promise.

>>34459350
The boy always deserves it, that's the joke.

>>34459107
Onee-Sabbath, ho!

>>34459403
ah, my head rattles when i shake it

>>34459373
>Anon's last view before losing consciousness in the ruined temple buried in the sand

>>34458523
Will someone save Xarazi from the pervert?

>>34459250
>Cockatrice
I will accept nothing other than Roadrunner. Now who's gonna be Wile E.?

>>34459436
A werecoyote. Or if not available a womanlet werewolf.

>>34459436
Isn't that (You)r role?

Monsters are in full control of their men.

>>34458411
I frequently fantasize about a harem with a dorome and a troll, and it's a shame that there is no art of the two of them together... Wait, is it still a harem with only 2 members?

>>34459375
"A very strong wild man being civilized by a monster girl"
Haven't decided which species I'm going to use yet.

>>34459457
right

>>34459461
That sounds lovely

>>34459457
Uh huh.

>>34459451
You're describing forbidden love, please cease at once.

>>34459454
It's a job for (you), but it won't be me specifically. I know one of (you) mad lads is game, fess up.

>>34459461
Been a while since I've seen one involving a troll, but a troll is pretty wild herself

>>34459461
this reminds me of Enkidu in the epic of gilgaemsh

>>34459540
>You're describing forbidden love, please cease at once.
I thought they were either trying to bully each other or compete for the same dude.

>>34459153
adorkable?

Have you ever had a dream with a monster girl in it? Did you gain a new fetish or like a new species because of that dream?

>>34459153
Tengu being a nerd bird

>>34459616
I had a dream of my wight wife and I stopped getting commissions of her as a sweet girl after that.

>>34459600
adorkable

>>34459616
A couple nights ago I had my first dream about monstergirls. I dreamed that I was in a world with monstergirls and was watching a movie with a scene where this baphomet and lamia were fighting and wrestling with each other.
>tfw even in my dreams I maintain a degree of separation from monstergirls
why couldn't my brain just let me get ambushed by a qt snake in the theater or something?

>>34459616
I once had a dream where I was walking through a room with a lot of empty beds and found one with a troll (my favorite monster girl) on it and for some reason a bee or hornet was also there. I laid down and we all cuddled. One of the best dreams I've ever had.

>>34459679
I mean, if it were lucid we all would 200% start fucking them or getting raped in public. Unfortunately we don't get that kind of agency.

i wanna funk

>>34458523
I need these laughs tonight. Thanks, anon.

>>34459380
They share a lot of traits such as a downtrodden underclass, excessive noble power (and the abuse that comes with it), a French aesthetic and a culture based around producing many great heroes.

You're wife is dumber than a wurm

Do I have to find a dark skinned holst to get chocolate milk or can I get a pale holst and just tan her?

>>34459827
oi, muh wife is a wurm, maggot

>>34459827
Rude.

>>34459838
Neither. You mix her milk with chocolate.

>>34459843
>He's married to the dumbest wurm ever

>>34459838
I would recommend a delicious tanned skin tomboy -may the demon lord forgive me for uttering this word- human female and monsterizing her into a holst using enriched holst milk containing loads of demonic energy and some Nesquick. Should do the job.

>>34459540
I know of one name faggot who'd be up for it.

>>34459866
that she maybe, but i spoil her rotten and love her even more than you could ever manage

finally got around to making a tierlist of (my opinion on) all the MGs
https://tinyimg.io/i/TfZkGHd.png
below A- tier theyre not in any particular order. r8 my taste?

What is the first thing you are going to do when portals open and you finally meet your waifu?

>>34459893
Date
Dinner date
Then shitposting at home with her and snuggling while watching a movie.

>>34459838
rub chocolate on her nips

>>34459893
hug her a lot
drink her milk
then dig a hole and shitpost about it

>>34459888
>Apsara that high
It's that way on every list but for some reason NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT THEM. I think you bros are lying.

>>34459827
Only in the sun!

>>34459893
Collapse to my knees and hug her legs

>>34459916
i really do, honestly ordering A-/A+/SSS was very difficult. i think more anons would think similarly if aspara had more greentexts

>>34459888
mostly solid taste, nice work anon

>>34459916
Maybe if you commissioned them, they would.

FUCK i hate seeing a spelling mistake right after i press send

>>34459888
mostly terrible taste, bad job Anon

>>34459938
I don't really commission anything. Might draw one though if I ever learn how to make slimy/liquid stuff look good

>>34459893
Get falsely accused and do penance

>>34459888
Why are some cunny things ok and others not?

>>34459893
Get to know her a person.

>>34459888
>White Horn in bottom tier
>Cancer not listed among all the 'taurs
Sorry, you are not my nigga. I'm also confused by the Lich's inclusion among the cunny species, just look at her: https://imgbox.com/GCq5kOqe

>>34459893
brush her butt

>>34459893
Get devoured...in the sexual sense.

skelocunny

>>34459893
Figure out where the hell she's going to live and how to get her citizenship/a visa.

>>34460019
go on...

>>34459893
Kiss her, one month honeymoon, then the apocalypse begins in Ohio.

>>34459995
going to be honest anon, i thought i put cancer in "bad because cunny" tier. but it would work with the 'taurs as well. white horn is honestly super comfy, but i cant in good faith NOT put it with the other taurs. i may be a retard, but i try to at least be consistent about my retardation

>>34460019
I forgot skeletons had a profile. Don't give up, skeleton!

>>34460029
Why Ohio? Hasn't the invasion already begun? Aren't we just living under the illusion of safety?

>>34460026
would be weird

>>34459995
I just noticed Soldier Beetle in the other cunny tier too.

>>34460039
>>34459995
also, i wasnt very familiar with lich, and her entry pic LOOKS cunny

the nightmare before christmas but in MGE

>>34460042
Ohio because the seat of her power can only be maintained in a cesspit of despair and mediocrity so deep in the soil that the citizentry might not even notice an eternal night stretching over the state for a few days.

>>34460047
mis-dragged. meant to be in tier below that

>>34460061
Alright well as long as your waifu doesn't stop me and mine from visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Cuyahoga, some random ass cornfields, the lakes, trying that random ass chili with the buildings on it, and the Pro Football Hall of Fame then you're fine I guess

>Pharaoh adopts an Apophis
>A couple years later, she also adopts a human boy
>Apophis grows up fanatically loyal to her mother
>Is employed as her mother's chief security and interrogation officer
>Interestingly enough, despite the nature of her job, she has never once used her venom on anyone
>Anyone, that is, except her brother

>>34459888
>my waifu in the not terrible cunny tier
You're a good guy anon, you didn't have to do that, I could completely understand if she was in the bottom tiers like in most lists.

>>34459888
>Filtered by cunny
>Filtered in general
Shit taste. Learn to treat others with respect.

>>34460103
i can respect a man and still think he's wrong - it's a matter of his attitude warranting respect

>>34459888
nice, wurm wurmed her way into your heart

>>34460089
>Hey bro where did you hide my panties
>What? I didn't touch those
>Oh yeah? What about THESE under your desk!?
>Huh? I didn't pu-
>anon gets graped
>just another day in the pharaoh's palace, apophi-sis should really just tell her mother that she likes her brother and they should be in an arranged marriage to keep the royal dynasty tight

>>34459893
I dont know

>>34460112
nice, sauce m8

>>34460112
Werebats are so underrated. I don't know why they all have super long bangs, but it fits them so well.

>>34459650
What's going on there?

>>34460147
https://twitter.com/IMx813/status/1386545676058697732?s=20

>>34460171
10q

>>34460159
Top tier girl in my opinion, would feed her bananas.

>>34459893
This pic, then your pic but with mofu.

>>34459893

Wake up and stare at my wall.

>>34460203
>ywn burrito your werebat wife in a blanket and listen to her lips smacking as you feed her a banana while watching her massive ears swivel back and forth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B0UPtEpOQc

>>34459893
Give her a good fluffing.

The summer ville isles have great harpy and other bird-related monster girl population, they have wonderous mating dances that they show to anyone watching and there are many ones that come from all over to have a vacation

>>34459893
Hold her tightly while she swallows my cock whole with her vagina.

what would ya do oooo for a klondike bar?

>>34460358
Gonna throw bread crumbs around my chair before I go sunbathing

>>34459893
Get rejected

>>34460358
Colorful plumage
Tanned skin
Lovely songs at the open air bars.

The bands probably alternate which one is singing as they all have lovely voices and it gives each of them a chance to shine.

>>34460419
>And then anon was swarmed by seagulls.
>Not seagull harpies, just regular seagulls

>>34460358
It's worth waiting for the nightfall to meet the Werebats.
>>34460410
Go to a shop and buy one.

I submit to sandworm anarchy

Nuki walks into your room and dumps a huge bag of coins all over the floor. They spread them out so no coin are on top of any other coin. An Automaton then comes into the room and is programmed such that if she sees a head, she flips it to tails. If she sees a tail, she throws it in the air. the Automaton moves around randomly forever. Will there be a convergence in distribution of heads vs. tails?

>>34460451
why not make yourself m8

>>34460457
why would ya do this in my room?

>>34460457
I fuck them both.

>>34460479
What?

>>34460493
make it yourself, didn't read before hitting send

i wonder, what would happen if i dipped my dick tip in ink, then pressed it onto a demons contract instead of signing, how would she react?

>>34460505
I still don't know what you're getting at

Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember that grilling outdoors may attract others.
Like the wolfu twins next door.
or that Shortstack grizzly neighbor you have.
Or the local zombies.

>>34460451
this isn't what you're getting at but I do wonder about sandworm culture. Seasonal migrations, territorial boundaries, family gatherings and the like.

>>34460548
probably confused and a little frustrated that you would slow down the process, I doubt she wants ink anywhere she's planning on sticking a dick in

>>34460607
>fire up the grill
>making some burgers
>cute little werewolf twins from next door come over
>"h-hiya mister can we have some hambaga too?"
>have to resist urge to forfeit every burger I have to these little girls

>>34460112
I hope she realizes that with that kind of body, breeding is inevitable. She will be carrying no less than three daughters by the time we're done.

>>34460611
just thought about how would it be like to visit the in-laws

>>34460635
Remember that every burger you give them means they'll grow into big and strong girls when they're older.

Aud mamono mana work on trigon or darkseid?

>>34460607
I'll just cook indoors.

>>34460635
Don't. Giving a wolf a burger is almost as bad as giving a mouse a cookie. Before you know it they'll have eaten all your food, grown up big and strong and given you a litter of daughters each.

>>34460607
now I'm thinking what would happen if you live in a mostly carnivorous monster girl neighborhood

>>34460649
Anon they're using that as leverage
>"We're growing girls, can we please have some meats?"
>shuddering as I head to the fridge to grab the polish sausage and hotdogs

>>34460643
The inevitable threesome with her sister.

>>34460683
Lots of little daughters looking eagerly over fences.
Or single neighbors swinging by to 'check up totally at random'

>>34460699
Yes but its also true.
Give them meats.

You can also buy meats cheap at the local Monster Hunting (See: Demonic Beast) guild in large amounts, especially if you join in the hunt as well.

>>34460680
>anon reluctantly gives them all his food
>he goes inside to hang out on his couch and watch some tv
>the wolf girls followed him
>hop up on the couch and start curling up on him
>"oh don't worry, it's a werewolf tradition to do post meal dogpiling, it's only natural"
>these wolves are up to something

>>34458411
>Get a wife that is good for your skin!
Getting licked all over by an Akaname probably counts too

>>34460724
Do you think they'd give me a discount if I went along in a non-combat role? I spent all my time autistically leveling up my cooking skills and maxing everything out so I can't really contribute on the fighting front

>>34459616
I dreamed I met a lilim and told her how much I love vengeance in LMC. She groaned "oh my god," in annoyance though.

>>34460750
Yup.
Not every guild is all hunters, they need support crews at the guild, be it alchemists, healers, blacksmiths, cooks, or even just accountants/quartermasters.

>>34460773
Speaking of classes/jobs, I've been wondering, do your waifus compliment your ideal one in a fantasy setting or are they considerably different than what you would do yourself?

>Another day of enjoying life in MGC
>As you munch on some breakfast, you find your thoughts drifting, as they often do on your off days
>Somehow, you have remained a bachelor
>It isn't that monsters avoid you, it's just that none of them ever seem to try and push beyond that friendship stage
>You're not an idiot, you know what that means
>Someone out there already has a claim on you
>But you have been kicking around MGC for years, and no monster has come forth.
>Plenty of prime opportunities for the more stalker monsters to catch you alone
>Hell, you made 500$ from your buddy in the bet that you could walk through the local rape
alley at 1:00 AM unmolested
>Seven separate times
>You got another hundred after repeating it with four other rape alleys in different parts of the city
>If there was a shady corner or dark alley out of view, you have walked it and come out on the other side untouched
>Your musings on your unrapeability are interrupted by a loud knocking on your door
>Weird, you had no plans on meeting up with anybody today
>Taking the action that would be deemed insane for any single man in MGC, you open the door to your unknown visitor
>And find yourself facing a demon and her hellhound companion
>Before you could say anything, the demon turns to the hellhound
>"Well, the mana matches, this is your man"
>You have about half a second to react before the hellhound crashes through your door and onto you
>As the hellhound rips off your pants, you hear the demon say that the contract is fulfilled, but she needs to stick around to ensure that the payment is properly received
>You wake up the next day completely exhausted
>You would question if what you just experienced was real, but the soft snoring of the hellhound currently sharing your bed serves as enough proof to dispel your doubts
>Also the demon sitting on your couch in the living room
>Stumbling out of your bedroom for some food to get back some energy, you manage to ask the demon about the contract and payment she was talking about
>Turns out, your ancestor struck a deal with the monsters of old before the change, but managed to finagle the deal into selling his descendant's soul instead of his own
>But before hell could collect on the payment , the great change happened.
>There was enough legal hell to wade through trying to figure out how the contracts applied given the new state of things, and your great-whatever grandpa's fell through the cracks for a while
>And when they did finally get the mountain of paperwork sorted and came to, they looked at your family line and found something weird
>Everyone of your ancestors following his line has been female
>This created a problem of sorts, as the contract specified a MALE descendant
>Cosmic chances and probable magical manipulations aside, you are the first eligible soul in the direct line of descendants
>So, your soul takes priority on being "collected" for the payments
>Your new wife, and the cause of your currently aching pelvis, is also the direct descendant of the creature grandpa bargained with
>With that, the demon tells you that it is time she gets back to her work and offers you congratulations on you new wife
>As she vanishes in a puff of fire, you feel the hellhound's heavy paw land on your shoulder, and her hot breath against your ear as she leans in
>"We aren't done yet, we need to start working through the interest that accrued from the deal"
>You ask how long it would take to pay off the entirety of your debt
>Your question is met with laughter, but also an assurance that a litter of hellpup daughters will take at least two percent off the total amounts

>>34460793
Problem is this.
I have two settings.

Paladin or Necromancer.
This means the party is either monk jinko and bard cheshire and me either being a paladin (decent) or necromancer (which means more waifus.)

>>34460800
Oh god no they taught the hellhounds math

>>34460669
Make sure you lock your screen door.

>>34460800
She sounds all haughty, but watch her melt when you give her daughters

>>34460833
WHO TAUGHT THEM MATH?!?!

>>34460861
Hellhounds are cute. Loving and doting mother who still has a rocking hot bod and loves her torn denim booty shorts. I can see many more litters to come from her.

>>34460874
a being that lives in caves yet burrows into the grounds

>>34460828
>Paladin and Monk Jinko working together to better themselves
>Necromancer and Bard Cheshire who makes funny songs to play while Anon fucks his zombie waifus
both are good I would say

Why would anyone ever make an oath to Eros? This is the only canon way in the settings you can get into a genuinely grimdark situation where MGs will not love you. Even if it is only done to cheaters and you dont plan to ever cheat, it is still theoretically exposing yourself to the worst fate possible in MGE for little reward.

What does Eros offer to marriages that justifies such a huge risk? An always happy marriage? Better sex? Super love? You already have those when marrying any monster girl.

>>34459565
I would go wild on that ass

>>34460959
I mean, I'd enjoy both but those are like the two classes I always gravitate towards.

Also, I imagine that, hypothetically, a necromancer could maintain the loyalty of undead he doesn't want to bone by finding them husbands (victims).
At that point they probably start seeing him more like a dad figure.

Anyways, slep

What do you think their age is for them to still have slumber parties?

>>34460611
Very little contact with other sandworms, especially unmarried ones. Once married, they start to relax more when dealing with their kind since they're no longer in competition. And as their marriage continues, the need to hunt for food steadily decreases. Single sandworms are highly territorial.

Family gatherings are likely uncommon. But I've had ideas of sandworm tunnel networks in which homes could be made for the comfort of their husband, and I guess by extension, meeting places could be formed for any type of gathering.

There are no seasonal migrations. They live in the great, vast, sandy deserts where it's always hot and always dry.
I did headcanon an idea that when the time comes for elder sandworms, they migrate to the "Sacred Dunes" where they go to pass on to the afterlife simultaneously with their husband. It's a place so far deep in the colossal desert that no other living creature can access it, not even a lilim or the DL herself. As it's protected with great magic, and massive, blinding sandstorms circle around the area preventing any sort of flight. Only a sandworm can reach it safely.

>>34461121
16 max

>>34460800
Nice green ruined by the memehound.

>>34460972
I'm sure in eros centric society making an oath to eros will convince tsunderes to marry you or something.

>>34461237
how can it be a nice green ruined by the hound when it's literally about a hellhound? what, was the setup of being a cc anon just that good?

>>34461190
Those are the breasts of someone much older than that.

>>34461276
Anything is possible in monster lands

are they any good stories about wurms?

>>34460793
It's hard to say. I don't know if 'snake lady' counts as a class, and even if it does, I don't know how complementary it would be with a generic warrior/bandit class.

>>34460874
Guarding hell requires an advanced understanding of physics and geometry

>>34461356
If she's rocking venom I could see how she'd be useful, other than that lots of snakes are very good planners and have a sort of methodical air to them so I could see how even the most generic warrior/bandit would benefit. Plus she's probably great motivation to do whatever it is that you do anon.

>>34461411
NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH

>>34461451
it truly is hell

>>34460793
i prefer either either being a melee caster or a gunslinger, and since my waifu can cover for my lack of melee stopping power with greatswords and alchemy

good nite will dream of a thing and remember, WURMS RULE AND DRAGONS DROOL

>>34461412
Yeah now that I think about it, she works very well with a basic bandit like me. I always imagine lamia-types being the kind that would bully weaker monsters into doing their bidding, so she probably has some abilities or traits that buff allies or minions during combat, and maybe even a crowd control ability or two. Though I might feel a bit bad for the girls she's bullying and end up spoiling them every now and then.

>>34460793
I've always had an appreciation for the Alchemist/Articifer classes, but ironically my waifu doesn't suit it at all. She's not all that strong to make up for me not being all the strong and she isn't all that smart to help me make potions or inventions. I might have some fun augmenting her with my creations, temporarily turning her from a squishy fatty to a full on TANK when times get tough.

Can’t go wrong with being a healer. Sure, in isekai manga they get fucked and in MMO you are at a mercy of fate until you strike friendships or reach higher levels where you are necessary, but in a MG world, your wife surely will be stronger and tougher than (You). And more often than not the reality’s mechanics dictate they get even stronger drinking your semen anyway.
You’d only be fucked if you don’t start with some trustworthy friend monster, cause then you’d just get kidnapped, raped and/or married

>>34461505
>thief with a heart of gold paired up with a big bully lamia who is just trying to show off for her husband
the adventures and hijinks sound very fun and cute at the same time

>>34461505
Do you think classes are randomly rolled, or do people choose their class?

>>34461530
Being a big scary mino's healing buddy! Only you see the side of her after the battle tending to her scars in the tent! I'd happily be her teddy bear when it's time to turn in for the night!

>>34460793
would be highly mobile gunslinger that's a glass cannon, and my wurm wife would be a great tank for me and maybe a healer

I live in a neighborhood that's predominantly dark elf, ocelomeh, hellhound, and amazoness. It's also full of dark skin varients of light-skin monsters too. The monsters here are actively conservative in the sense that they believe men are subservient slave husbands to monsters, just like succubi of the previous demon lord believed. If you were out on the streets at night, consider yourself raped because monsters here will do everything to snatch up and sexually assault a man. On the plus side though, the dark sabbath is charitable and even kind of enough to help men living here with security so they dont have monsters coming into their houses uninvited, and they can walk you home at night. I'm lucky to have a wife who doesnt think like rest of them do so all our daily fights remain easy to win.

>>34460793
I'd temper her mixture of being both a barbarian and a ruler with my diplomat class!
A nice way of saying I'd be her powerslut and tell her what I want her to do during pilowtalk

About how much lighter are harpies compared to humans of a similar size?

>>34461550
I like to think it's a bit of both, like in the real world obviously. Of course you have a plan probably of what you want to do as an adventurer but things happen and your decision/skills can change. This is especially true with monster girls, who likely have a large bearing on your day to day proceedings. That's probably why there's such a wide array of job and specifications in the mamono world!

>>34461586
Quite dastardly anon

>>34461582
>local man in the Dom Hood resorts to lolicon-ism to bypass the weird neighborhood traditions
better be a good boy for your neighbors and not get ran out of town

>>34460874
>hanging out with the boys
>one of them expresses concern for you getting married to an unstoppable lust engine that can’t be tamed
>you reassure them that you’re okay, and that you think you’re on the verge of getting some control in the relationship
>your bros go quiet
>your hellhound wife was standing in the doorway as you dared to say such a thing
>she walks away silently
>oh no, oh fuck what is she gonna d-
>she comes back with a stack of systematic reviews and case studies of hellhound relationship dynamics
>explains the research to you piece by piece and shows that it is statistically impossible for you to ever come close to wearing the pants in this relationship
>she even allowed time at the end for questions from her audience
>such is life with highly educated hellhounds
>and then she dragged you back to the bedroom and fucked you unconscious anyway

>>34461580
>using her scaly hide as cover
actually that's a match made in heaven really

>>34461530
My waifu says healers are for the weak, and just don't get hit.

She... reinforced my body so I can tank a few hits without passing out.

>>34461601
They weigh as much as a 13 year old girl

>>34461550
i think people just do whatever they want, classes shouldnt lock in what you can and cant do, if you can cast magic you should, but that shouldnt stop you from wielding and training with a sword.

>>34461631
I'd just give her a page full of those equations that have 2 answers depending on what order of operations you use just to make her to absolutely berserk when I tell her she got them all wrong

>>34461550
I like to think of classes as a very loose concept. If you have a natural talent for something or put constant work and effort into a skill set, you will move closer to achieving a class. However, if you don't really go out of your way to train a skill or stop practicing a skill set, you come back into a common species class (like a NEET would just be a "human" class). Even common species classes would have traits and abilities, and you will always be able to switch into a different class with enough work (an example would be something like a high level human warrior who became a regular human
class after getting lazy on training. He keeps his levels because he still has power to him, and can always go back to being a warrior if he trains the proper skills again). My waifu is just a "snake lady" class because she hasn't invested enough time to become something like a "snake lady + mage" right now, but could in the future.

>>34461668
I can't believe I let that break slip through, now my wall of text is ruined!

>>34461668
I will become the MGE version of a Renaissance man. Not the kind that tries to fuck every girl but the kind that tries to master everything to impress my waifu

Mischievous Monkeys are just one of many dangers in Monster Girl Jumanji.

>>34461703
>Egads my wall of text is ruined
>Unless... I were to delete my post and repost it edited?
>Oh ho ho ho, delightfully devlish, Anon!
>Snake Lady waifu just watching in the doorway

Black harpy and kejorou prostitute duo! You can't have one without the other!

>>34461740
Kejoro hair hugs while railing a black harpy in an alleyway!

>>34461721
It's too late to delete and repost. All I can do now is live with the shame, go to bed, and hug my long pillow pretending it's a big snake tail.

>>34461720
I want to see an artist draw a tail starting at the tailbone instead of above the ass for once, just to see what it would look like.

>>34460793
>Ancient Evil Dragon
The only class she'd want me to be is a cleric read: healslut but then again I doubt she'd want me anywhere near combat in the first place. More likely I'd stay at home and make sure her doom fortress is in order while she's out doing... whatever. I'm not a bad cook and there's probably some magic I could use to help with cleaning such a big place, so I guess I'm a house-husband.

What do big evil monsters even do anyway? Bully order heroes? Shitpost on evilchan? Borrow library books with no intention of returning them?

>>34461822
It would look the same except the hotdog would have a bit between the buns instead of being on top of it.

>>34461852
They gather at the Legion of Doom (Sandwormfag's Worm garage, it's empty most of the time) and plot nefarious things while playing poker and eating chips and pizza and stuff.

How can I convince a CC Troll to send me nudes?

>>34461852
>Ancient Evil Dragon
They cannot be trusted

>>34460800
>Ancient contracts your great great great great great great great granpapy made
fuggg xd xd xd
Haven't they heard about "Not responsible for the sins of the father"?

>>34462047
Just nudes? A CC would deliver herself nude to your door?

>>34461852
Just go paladin so you can heal, dps, and tank.

>>34462047
She’s amish, the only nudes you’re getting are live or wood carvings.

>>34459893
Bunker down in my home due to autism. Then die alone.

>>34462348
I'm surprisingly okay with both options.

>>34462145
The books will be balanced. And they have an eternity to make it right.

>>34462348
>or wood carvings.
hot gluing is fine

How often do order nuns complain about manslut paladins going for monsters?

So what's this I heard about KC tweeting about Hellhounds of Eros?

>>34462578
I wanna be turned into a man-slut for a dark priestess.

>>34461601
Birds have hollow bones, so I just assume harpies are no more than 15kg

>>34462790
Are you saying I can easily yeet a harpy?

>>34462790
How much of that is ass?

>>34462348
I want my CC Troll delivered asap

>>34461550
Aside from racial classes, they are probably chosen. I'd say give people random talents at birth, this could influence what class you choose. If you got absolute pitch then you have a higher chance of going bard. Dark musketeers are cool, but there aren't enough classes imo. Where did KC get his classes from?

>>34459454
I'd rather be Dick Dastardly.

>>34463017
Dick Dastardly and his sidekick Smutley

>>34462940
I'm sorry but we ran out of CC, we only have Sabbath Trolls left.

>>34463017
>IT IS THE PERFECT PLAN NO ONE WILL EVER SUSPECT A THING!!!
That's the guy with the loud scheming rants and long ass mustache ain't it?

>>34463055
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj6-LG5VpGk

>>34463069
I don't know if it is him I'm thinking of. There was some dude who used to yell his secret evil plans and had a long ass stache. Can't really remember it all that well. Thanks for the clip.

>>34463069
That is one ballsy pigeon.

>>34463106
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NheZ_hLCSx0

>>34462348
>getting carved nudes
You darn kids have it so easy. Back in my day we had to lay in a field and wait for a boob shaped cloud to float by and then get raped

>>34463131
Cool that's the guy. Thanks it was bugging me.

>>34461852
Bully you for your lunch money

>>34463131
He was in literally one cartoon. I never saw this cartoon but somehow knew this. Fucking internet.

>>34463225
That face in the upper right.

>>34463225
but then ill be hungry

>>34463277
Oh don't worry, she has something else for you to eat

Does she bleat?

>>34463225
>eventually she borrows you because you managed to cook something delicious for her

>>34459457
Yes.
I am fine with her being in charge because she's the biggest, and therefore she is correct.

>>34462642
>Hellhounds of Eros
This is relevant to my interests.

>>34459893
Sit in her lap and cuddle for a while
Feel her muscles
Go and nap with her for about 16 hours

>>34463696
Ah so your wife is an Orc.

>>34459457
The moment you stray too far from an Ice Queen it'll feel so cold you'd come back to snuggle her anyways

Not gonna lie, came inside a white scaled lamia. Was pretty great

>>34463741
She is a mino, but pretty close

>>34463611
Scary goat.

>>34463756
I imagine Minos have a similar "bigger is best" hierarchy

>>34463773
Yes, that's what I've always though.
She is the biggest, the strongest and can eat and sleep the most.
Therefore, she is the best.

Since demons are pretty high level and all that, can I just go for a lesser succubus instead and ask her to learn some illusion magic and then roleplay as a demon?

>>34463834
How do you know it's mot a demon using magic to disguise as a lesser succ?

>>34463834
Do lesser succs have enough magic for that? I don't even know how disguise and illusions work. Is it a mind trick or a transformation?

>>34463843
>Guy who wants a demon wife but knows he's not strong enough to get one
>Gives up on that dream but finds a really nice lesser succ
>They fall in love
>Tell her about his fetish
>She uses some basic illusion magic to make herself look like a demon, but it's still clearly her
>Pulls up a contract and says it's a fake copy that a demon made
>They roleplay the whole thing and he signs the contract
>She gets very exited
>VERY exited
>Guys gets confused
>She drops her illusion magic
>all of it
>Reveals she was actually a full on demon all along and tells him he just signed her contract
>[confused but aroused human noises]

>>34463864
If we follow D&D or "generic fantasy rules" Illusion magic just makes it look like something it there when it's not. It has no mass or anything like that.
So in this case she would be able to change her skin to blue, but any closer testing would reveal her true skin color. Actually changing how you look would be under Transmutation magic.
So in short
>Illusion = Makes something look like it's there when it's not
>Transmutation = Making a thing into another thing

>>34463882
Demons truly are a devious bunch.

>>34463904
Cool. They aren't slimes, so it makes sense that it is illusion. I wonder if the illusions glitch in funny ways.

>>34463882
4D CHESS

>>34463963
It feels like such a pointless, needlessly contrived way to get a husband.
So it's the best way for a demon to get a husband.

>>34459893
Going through a cuddling session with a Ancient Evil Bogey!

>>34464018
>needlessly contrived
>best way
>no end user license agreement
Hell is way behind the curve. Demons btfo by robots in disguise. Even Kikisoft does better, and they've got a cool slogan "your penis, our passion".

What's so fascinating about pants?

Congrats on the bicorn wife, anon!

Now, who will you pick as your other five wives to go along with her?

>>34464174
5 other bicorns.

>>34464174
I know you're just posting this for bait purposes but I would unironically marry a Bicorn if we completely meshed well in a wholesome way.
The other five would be a Bogey, Shoggoth, Lich, Troll, Tentacle.
Best case scenario: All of them have the Dire Modifier

>>34464275
No, I genuinely like bicorns and wish they were more popular

>>34464290
Ah, well more power to you. It's kind of a hard sell for most because people don't think they have the capacity to love so many, but I'm optimistic to think I would learn how to do so with guidance!

>>34464174
I love bicorn so much but I don't think I could ever have one as a wife since I don't think I could really love more than two girls enough to make them happy.

>>34464528
Chameleon?

>>34459893
Marry her, duh

I want a CC oni

>>34464919
I want to be the communal husband of a village of onis of varying degrees of beegness.

>All men are sluts, deep down in their hearts, if given the chance they would try to stick it in every other monster's pussy they can find
>That is why you need to rape them thoroughly and regularly, so that they can't think of any other pussy than yours
Yandere dark priest's latest sermon

>>34459893
I dunno. Say hi I guess?

I want to give monster imoutos lots of headpats.

>>34459893
Give her a deep kiss while groping her flat little chest and round little butt.

>drops her furry paw on Your head
<Hi, I am uhhh, umm...
>blushes
>runs away

>>34465296
Why do angels and priest girls guilt-rape people so much?

>>34465434
They are too shy to just admit they like the boy.

>>34459380
>>34459798
>Bretonnia is Lescatie
>Bretonnia will fall and taken over by Mamono the same way as Lescatie in Fallen Maidens

The Lady of the Lake's face when she sees all her Grail Knights, religiously pious peasants be swiped away from her by horny monstergirls. And all the Grail Maidens monsterizing to even prettier succ demons.

>wanna see what my tongue can do?

>>34465552
Can it run Doom?

>>34465552
If it's stealing my fries again, she can go back into the sewers.

>>34464528
>>34465552
Chameleons are cool

>>34465625
I wanna fug Chameleon Chan so hard she starts randomly changing colors during the act.

good morning, dreamt of warehouse full human slaves

>>34465418
I'm going to try my hardest to surprise princess carry her

>>34465736
I hope You and wurmy busted them out.

>>34465784
Enjoy your slipped disc, old man.

Getting clothes for lamia type monsters must be hard

>>34465789
everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I was jumping around like a tard before I understood what was going on. then I woke up

>>34465797
It's probably all custom made

>>34465797
I want to hold Hebis hand and go from store to store shopping for clothes!

>>34458611
Based--does the service deliver Kiki's, or the Kiki's do the delivering?

>>34465930
Kikis' Delivery Service would be ultra-comfy.

>>34465791
It'll be worth it in the end

>>34465923
>Shopping spree
Oh please no,i already have trouble doing that for one store,she will break my sanity faster than any rape sex will

>>34465418
Jinkos don't strike me as shy types

>>34465970
Are you saying you wouldn't enjoy spending time in the company of Hebi?

>>34465970
Are you shopping alongside an unmasked Basilisk by any chance

i wonder what happens if when one of the sadistic monster girl has you and asks if you are scared you respond with
>I am already scared stiff
and other puns like that

>>34465955
>Sign up for Kiki's Delivery service
>You fill out the elegantly caligraphed order form and slip it into your mailbox
>*Ding dong*
>There's a cute blonde Kiki dressed in cute blue overalls and a hat at the door with your groceries
>Wowthatwasfast.png
>"Greetings Mastah, enjoy your groceries!"
>She leans in to give you a peck on the cheek and then skips off humming a cute little tune

Gotta say guys, this Kiki Home Delivery Service is great. I kinda want to order some packages from Mamanozon just to see her again...

>>34460457
>Will there be a convergence in distribution of heads vs. tails?
Yes, but not necessarily to 2/3 tails and 1/3 heads.The visible distribution of heads and tails fluctuates, and does not converge. The average of the distributions after the first n moves by the Automaton converges (with probability 1 and for large n) to a limiting distribution.The limiting distribution for one coin that is moved infinitely often by the Automaton, is 2/3 Tails and 1/3 Heads. This is the equilibrium distribution of the two state Markov chain that describes the Automaton operating forever on one coin.The limiting distribution for the subset of coins that are moved infinitely often is 2/3 T, 1/3 H.The limiting distribution for all the coins exists, but it can differ from (2/3,1/3) if there is a positive probability for at least one coin to be visited only a finite number of times. Whether that probability is positive depends on the programming of the Automston and other factors.

What kind of spells can she cast?

>>34466176
Do you think the cuties from the Kiki delivery service would be willing to come inside for a quick break or are they are too busy?

Ushi!

>>34465736
>I had a dream about human boys last night

>>34466283
Oni!

>>34466331
Ushi!
Oni!

dude does the old fake throw to a hellhound, how badly is he raped?

>>34466343
Do you think she'd be upset if I told her that I wanted to hang out in her fluffy bits?

>>34466463
her boobs scare me,too big

>>34466463
no
not at all

brushy brush

>>34466579
>couldn't even swallow her spit before hand
dirty snake

>>34466602
>not loving your waifu so much that something as little as spit inconveniences you

>>34466283
bapho!

>>34466602
>Not wanting to be covered in your waifu's spit all day everyday

>>34466714
[excited Akaname noises]

>>34466167
what sadistic mg doesn't enjoy a bit of gallows humor on occasion

>>34466757
They're good girls, but I was thinking more about my colossal wife that lurks below the surface

>>34466246
>Been getting random packages from Mamanozon every few days
>Same cute Kiki hands me my package every time
>She always seems so happy to help, she even offers to come inside and help me unwrap and put my order away for me
>I protest, but she explains it's part of their new Personal Touch™ service
>I've started inviting her to stay for tea and we chat a bit, it's really nice to have someone so friendly to visit with
>Can't wait for my next delivery

I wonder if there are Medusa that have regular completely snake hair instead of the hair to snake kind.

Extending the kiki bloodline and services

>>34466791
>AN ANCIENT EVIL AWAKENS

>>34466887
How would she react if I pulled out a ring and asked if she can make a delivery. Delivering my babies that is.

>>34467030
Nah, she's a worm. A simple but big worm

>>34466463
>navstack proportions with long ushi legs
does she still count as a stack?

>>34466982
I could see a proto-medusa or dire medusa having completely snake hair. They probably feel insecure about it.
>>34467030
I'm pretty sure he's talking about sandworms, go back to sleep old hag.

i am slut for hags

>>34458519
Bimbo succ for me

I want a little sandworm that lives in inside of me instead of the other way around. Kind of like a tapeworm except cuter and she sucks my cock when I feel like it

>>34459457
It can't be helped

>>34459153

>>34467310
So like stuffing a fairy in your pants: Worm edition? Or does it actually live inside your body and needs to get out to suck your dick?

>>34467310
Like a Goauld or something?