/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>Oi oi, you got a license for being single?

I want the Papa Wendi special from Wendi's, a double cheeseburger with brown sugar mixed in the meat, BBQ sauce, and tartar sauce

>>34271272
Just remember, heart is a muscle, therefore HUGE girls with big muscles have big hearts and can love You more.

>>34271317
yes, i need to make it to the sabbath to get my bapho wife

Well? What do you have to say for yourself anon?

>>34271317
No.

>>34271332
I've got to get more /fit/ so I am worthy of muscle
monster wife.

>>34271344
Then Your free trial of being single ends now.

>>34271381
Does this mean I have to get a marriage licence now? God I want to be the pack-husband for a group of big werewolves so bad.

>>34271318
>special
what makes it so special?

I want a CC Oni

>>34271341
grandma is better

What would your favorite monster say if you clicked on her in an RTS?

>>34271341
I'm sorry, from now on I will only use my hand.

This thread is under lockdown by Commander Anubis' order. Space Outlaw Anon has been sighted in the sector, and is to be considered armed and dangerous. If you see someone matching his description, contact the Commander immediately.

lolibabas especcialy baphos
are the best!

>>34271317
Yes, ma'am.

>>34271317
Yeah right here *unzips dick*

>>34271456
Rumor is Papa Wendi himself grills it for you, while Mama Wendi wraps it up neatly and serves it. A special burger made by the founder of Wendi's himself!

>>34271460
They truly are great, aren't they. One day when I get better I'll make a CC Oni drawing for you that isn't terribad like the other one. I'll slap it on the things I have to deliver on list.

>>34271341
How else am I supposed to satisfy my NEED TO BREED? And no, I will not breed the shirohebi neighbor's daughter, she's crazy.

>>34271272
Hello.
How to acquire cute zombie gf?

>>34271272

>>34271341

>>34271647
What a deal. Any other restaurants take that much time and effort into their food? I've heard the food at McManti's as ok too.

>>34271672
graveyard
bug your local lich

>>34271707
>Express your filial piety
>With your dick
my sides

>>34271666
Satan digits means you will breed a demon girl.
Enjoy your buffcubus.

>Be noodle-armed nerd
>Always getting bullied by other students
>Today your usual bullies are strong-arming you into walking up to the scariest, meanest, fiercest mamono delinquents in the school and saying something really embarassing
>"Fuck do you want, dweeb?"
>Try not to cry
>Take a deep breath
>Blurt out "Baby wants huge milkers"
>Close your eyes and accept death
>15 minutes later your new wives are getting in a fight over who's next in line to breastfeed you

>>34271743
>hello lich-chan I need cute undead girlfriend
>oh? how bout right here big boy
>spreads undead puss
>funny joke but I'm serious
how would a lich react

>>34271813
Do I have to talk like retarded toddler?

>>34271743
What if the local lich is really cute and you start wanting her instead of a zombie?

>>34271838
Do you want the full shota experience or not?

>>34271813
>bullies strong arm you to grab a H'Orc delinquent's ass
>do it
>she turns around with a fiery expression
>bullies starting to chuckle
>"I like a man that takes what he wants"
>leans in close
>"I hope you like a girl who takes what she wants too"
>throws me over her shoulder
>bullies laughing while I get carted off
>come back to school a H'Orc incubus who wedgies them and calls them virgins
>now I'm a cautionary tale for bullies in this world, mamono mana is even capable of fixing something shit like high school

How does a loli lamia's pussy feel compared to a adult lamia?

Anons, why does my "eternally-eighteen" kitsune wife keep claiming she's a virgin and asking me to be gentle with her "first time" whenever we get in bed? We already had three daughters together.

>>34271928
don't kinkshame your wife, fag

>>34271317
the readers your vagina, right? gimme a second to pull down my pants and insert my dick in so you can see my license to be single

>>34271317
Yes, right here officer
>POCKET SAND

>>34271919
Sounds great, I gotta try that.

>>34271928
It could be worse. My arch succubus wife has a fair maiden fetish and she acts like a blushing, shy virgin AND insist on me "courting her" first, while I'm wearing my old paladin armor. Most of our kids have families of their own now and we've been having sex for 5 hours a day for 43 years now.

>>34271341
I desire a momster that tries her best to seduce me every single day

>>34272000
I share that desire

>>34271813
>One of the bullies immediately runs to another delinquent and tries the exact same line
>Gets his teeth knocked out because he doesn't have that "lost little kid" charm, he just sounds like a retard

>>34271372
If you're actually serious about this, then my best advice is to take a break from the threads for a month. You aren't going to miss anything, and it's a lot easier to focus on self improvement that way.

>>34271813
GOMMAD time
Gallon of monster milk a day to leave humanity behind. I shall be no noodle armed bitch anymore

>>34271272

>>34272136

Any stories or greentexts where the anon just doesn't want a monster girl wife and insteads wants a normal life as a virgin?

>>34272069
I dunno, I don't see a lack of these threads impacting his success that much. If he's just starting out then one month is still in that zone where there's a big initial burst of motivation that makes working out much easier, but what's important is being able to maintain the habit once that's over.

>>34272136
>>34272150
Go back to facebook or whatever shithole you crawled from

>>34272150

>>34271341
You didn't raise me at all.

>>34271341
Ok, do you wish for me to plow you?

>>34272186
Are there people who like snakes and don’t also like Wurms/Ryu/UnagiJoro?

>>34272277
I don't like the threadmeme of wurms being supertards

I don't think I have the attentionspan to fuck AND properly enjoy delicious foods at the same time, but that probably won't stop the waif from trying to pamper me like that

>>34272354
Me neither. It definitely feels like some people use them as excuses to behave like jerkwagons

>>34272354
i see 'em more as how most autists don't get metaphors, and need a little more directions for them to do things. That's how I view 'em. They simple minded, not retarded

>>34272000
Meanwhile one of my darker desires is to have a ancient evil momster corrupt me into their perfect manchild to dote on.

>>34272354
same

>>34271272
https://twitter.com/coral_sky0826/status/1382645116729401344

>>34272354
its probably the one negative about latenight

>>34271919
>Find orc delinquents eating lunch
>Ask if they ever get tired of eating maggoty bread
>Get dragged into the janitors closet and forced to cum inside orcs for six hours
>Stagger out when everyone else has gone home
>Get home and realize one of them shoved a folded piece of paper inside a pocket pocket during the chaos
>Open it to find several numbers written down along with the signature lipstick marks and heart doodles
>Also a message: Looks like meats back on the menu - Gals

>>34272557
>hanging out with a gang of heavily pregnant but still horny gyaru orcs
heaven

>>34272364
Sounds like something a manticore would for their husband when he is paralyzed by her venom
>"You've been feeding me so much of your delicious energy through my tail, it's only fair that I feed you too."

How much gold on average would a proud Doragon ask for to c*ck her man? How much to kill him before an audience?

fucker above should use a nice hemp necktie with 13 loops and dangle himself

There is only one thing men desire.

>>34272660
sleepy baphos?

>>34272660

>>34272660
hors tummies

>>34272660

>>34272684
I wanna fluff that hair

>>34272502
Coral's really been doing amazing stuff recently

>>34272703
>>34272706
>two legs
Lame

>>34272506
I don’t think latenight is responsible, but their drawings certainly don’t help.

>>34272741
Henshin!

>>34272175
Thank you. This shit meme looks like it came right from some "ironic" ecchi anime meme page

>>34272684
I remember when I went through my Bicorn phase. Maybe it's the reason why I still consider bigamy from time to time.

I just want to pet ushi lilim on the head

>>34272784
I do think MGs would stay in their polymophed bipedal form longer than their natural form if they were to live in cities or any fairly modernised towns. Just imagine the logistical nightmares

>>34272506
To be fair the monsters he draws in his more cartoonish artsyle tend to embellish them a bit for cute comedic purposes. He does have other wurm drawings that are more "realistic" like this one

>>34272883
>Have a lamia-form sandworm living in the apartment next to you
>Always worried that the spell will break and she'll accidentally destroy the building if you flirt with her too much

I wanna steal a single gold coin from a dragons horde, then escape to another continent

>>34272354
Yeah it's silly, once in a while it's fine but flanderization is still flanderization.

>>34272949
>flanderization
One day, I will climb out of the tvtropes hellhole

>>34272910
i always wondered, what purpose does that jewel they have at the top of their sternum have? How does it come about?

>>34273027
its there for the sole reason to be booped

>>34273043
what happens when you boop it?

>>34273027
Every dragon has one. We still don't know why

>>34273027
I assume that pushing it makes her transform.

>>34273027
its an ethnic thing, like griphs and maracas

What kind of Trumpart do you like the best?

>>34273084
Women don’t really need a reason to be fashionable.

>>34273127
The Ace of Spades.
I think you can guess why.

>>34273127
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbvWn1EY6g

>>34272577
>Embarrassing your wives by showing your daughters pictures from when they were rough and tumble delinquents in highschool.
>Embarrassing them further by including the pictures when they were rough, tumble, and gravid while carrying said daughters

>>34273127
Ones with identity crises

>People talking about soft city Orcs
You guys wouldn't last a second out in the badlands. The orcs there get BIG.

And then there's the biggest one of all, the one rumored to be a Lilim hybrid. One that goes beyond BEEEG and becomes HUEG!

>>34273178
That's a slippery slope anon, your daughters are going to think that's cool and be even more rough and tumble delinquents with a penchant for getting gravid

>>34273246
C-can I see one?

>>34273178
That bunnysuit Orc is cute as hell.

>>34273252
>Daughters pick on that one boy at school constantly
>Come home one day to admit they're pregnant
>Mom kyaaaaaahhhss and starts making marriage preparations
I'm glad when it comes to monsters alls well that ends well

>>34273178
>porcers
>human waitresses at hooters are typically roasties that get upset when yoy grab their ass
>porc waitressses ar porcers are typically single and get upset when you don't grab their ass

Live footage of Anon's lizard wife stumbling into a store at night for a midnight snack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4ap1uua2oM

>>34273178
That top right H'Orc is nothing but trouble.

>>34273510
>half asleep lizardgirl sauntering into the store
>watch as she climbs on top of the chip isle shelves, knocking everything over in the process
>she takes a bag of cheetos and starts eating them while telling her husband, who isn't around, to turn off the lights
>falls asleep surrounded by merchandise on the top shelf
>mumbling to herself that she has to go to the store tomorrow in her sleep

>>34272660
love

The anon who posts links to animal videos on youtube is one of the few off-topic posters whose presence improves these threads

Can an Alp go back to human male if it decided the whole alping was "just a phase?" For that matter can a monster change back if she likes her old human self better?

>34273675
No. Lurk more and read

>>34273675
>>>/tg/

>>34273675
No, there is no way to reverse monsterization.

>>34273534
>Go to the store the next day
>find her chilling with the rotisserie chickens under the heat lamps just gnawing on one without a care in the world.

Titania oneesan may seem like a cute and wholesome girl but she's also got a shitload of levels in mage knight and can BEAM with the best of them.

>>34273728
>Oh hi Anon, I kinda left my wallet back home when I staggered out.... you didn't happen to bring it with you?

>>34273127
Mad scientist/alchemist JK Diamonds with short hair and a penchant for transformation potions and lazy JC lolibaba sorceress princess Clubs with hime-cuts, floofy robes that blend with their beds that they rarely leave, and a preference for sex positions that violate laws of geometry and physics

>>34272706
I love fanart where the uma girls are super tall but I have trouble finding more.

>Hellhound pounces on you
>Tears your pants off
>Sticks it in her and starts grinding/pounding away
>Look her right in the eyes and give her a kiss while held down
>She goes red to the face and tightens up before pulling herself off and running away
D-did I just get blue balled by my rapist?

Do you remember the first time a monster girl truly caught your attention?

>>34273844
>Hellhound about to pounce me
>Mamonomana reveals I'm not into her, and have a specific pool I'm looking for
>Catches her breath
>Introduces herself, and offers to help me find a girl I'm looking for if I can help find her some prey as well
>Congratulate each other with a hi-five when we meet up after raping our respective new spouses silly

>>34273730
The Fairy Kingdoms held out longer than anyone else against the Demon Lord and they weren't even trying to resist. The older Titanias are probably on the same level as Lilims.

>>34273857
Liru, discovered her on newgrounds long ago. I took one look at her and was hooked.

>>34273857
A caption for that hellhound firefighter image that gets posted every once in a while

Where are you when fairies became famous?

>>34273912
Someone made a caption for someone's waifu? Is it cringe?

How to tease a shoggoth?

>>34271727
Once the Wendi kids are old enough to hunt, they work for Wendi's to hunt for meat. Their meats are always fresh, never frozen!

>>34273927
get a roomba, or sit outside

>>34273927
Bring home pizza rolls but not the combination kind

>>34273931
How about the shakes?

>>34273931
Nothing is more terrifying than seeing an adult wendi go at a caribou in the woods.

>>34273923
>Someone made a caption for someone's waifu?
You would be surprised, there's a subreddit ran by a sperg named juan. 50% of the content is stolen greentexts and the other half is cringy captions using the work of artists or commissions of waifufags.

>>34273857
It was all over for me when I was a kid and saw Courtney Gears for the first time

>>34273857
I was 6. Yugioh had just taken off. Everyone was hyped about the dragons, or secretly giggling about Harpie Lady's boobs, but Rose Specter of Dunn, and her palate swap that was only in the vidya "Arlownay" (translators didn't recognize Alraune) really stood out to me. Then, a couple years later, I started playing the GBA Castlevania, and there were Alraune in that as well, and I was starting puberty as well - the plant girls were stealing the earliest eras of my arousal. Around this time, I also started finding succubi (in Castlevania and Succubus Knight in YGO) and angels (Soul of Purity and Light and Guardian Angel Joan in YGO) attractive, although both made me feel extra guilty, as I was raised Christian, and still a kid. Flash forward a few years later, when I was a teen, and I discovered the early translations of MGE looking around for Alruane hentai. Even since, the MGE world has been something I've fantasized about regularly.

>>34273961
Their peanut butter milkshakes are the best, but Wendi's had to put a limit of 1 per customer per day. The Ice Queen got addicted to Wendi's shakes until Mama Wendi had a talk with her and cut her off. The good news is now Mama Wendi has a workout buddy at the gym!

>>34273927
Take something that you know she made, and spend time just slowly stroking it with your finger.

>>34273857
I had an incredibly thick, hyper breedable nun as a teacher in catholic school. Years of looking at nun art on the internet, and finding more and more succubus with inverted crosses and habits made to be sacrilegious, and the rest is history.

>>34273989
>their shakes got an ice queen hooked
holy moley their culinary powers are off the charts

>>34273857
Do elves count? If so, playing warcraft 3 as a teenager

>>34273893
Good taste
>>34273982
Oh god, you just reawakened something in my memory.

>>34273857
not really, i guess naga and baneshees from wc3, but ive always really like dragons for some reason and the undead, probably because im a big harryhausen fan and thats what i grew up with

>>34273857
I don't have a specific example but I always wanted a show or movie where the hero redeems a villainess with the D and they get married, settle down and have at least five kids together. When I read the context for mge it felt like KC had the exact same thought and made it a reality

>>34273989
Are the only employees at Wendi's... well, Wendis?

>>34273873
Based--platonic frenship between a guy and a Monstergirl who team up in search of their true love is severely underrated.

>>34274012
Incredibly based

>>34274232
I can never get her body out of my mind, or how her habit just hugged at her hips and ass. An actual crime she was catholic because I would sin with her every fucking day.

>>34273927
Brush your teeth with a Shot rush and Shogpaste

>>34274012
>getting your fingers ruler-d just to see those breedable tiddies bounce
based

>>34274247
She was very motherly, I distinctly remember her standing behind me once, leaning down with those fat knockers pressed on my shoulders and her motherly holy voice going "No my child, like this." before correcting my spelling. Fucking hell do I miss that nun.

>>34274240
Well anon you can rest easy knowing there's a doppelganger with your name on it somewhere out there

>>34274155
It's a family run business, but after some very careful deliberation with Papa Wendi they hired Wendi-chan's boyfriend to work

>>34274267
>Papa Wendi reluctantly hires his daughter's boyfriend
>Nitpicks everything he does
>At the end of the day they sit down together and he tells his new son he's glad to have him around and he'll one day run the place like a true Papa Wendi

I want to be a lost gaijin in Zipangu.

>>34271272

I wish to pierce the heavens with my pocket drill and end this senseless war. I need to do this

>>34274328
I wanna get lost in a bapho's cunny

Chow time!

When the year 20NEVER-EVER comes around and the KC RPG finally comes out, would you be happy that any threadcanon lore gets included in it? Papa Wendi being a friendly NPC in the snowy region or a Shog pranking a Kiki would be fun to actually have in canon.

>>34273857
When i saw the Night Gaunt entry for the first time in December of 2017 I new she was my waifu and the only one for me.

>>34271666
Fool, who said you had a choice?

I'm going to cum buckets inside a nerdcubus

>>34274583
No. Threadcanon stays in thread.

Which MG makes the best delinquent?

>>34274819
The one you want to step on you the most obviously

>>34273857
That one Shirohebi doujin
I never cared for Yandere personality as it seemed just creepy and stupid to me, but after that i found it really hot

>>34274752
I'm going to cum buckets inside a bottom-heavy lich.

>>34273857
This one is going back quite a way but does anyone remember Rakion?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm9AFeyVO4Q

>>34273857
It was at my local comic shop. I was looking at the D&D rule book and for some reason I was enthralled by the Elves.
It’s been a slippery slope for the past 25 years now.

>>34274819
Probably Oni, but that's just because of my headcanon that they tend to form groups and that they are rowdy, aggressive, drinkers, they'd probably make for good delinquents.

>>34274583
The best thing about KC is that he doesn't pander to others and just makes what he wants because he likes it. Putting dumb memes from other communities in hoping to pander to them is cancer.

>>34274752
I'm gonna find the biggest, toughest, strongest, scariest wurm and nut in her like my dick was broken main pipe

>>34274819
lamias

>>34274819
A roving gang of young heck hounds.

>>34274949
>hellhound rebels against her mother by taking Anon out on a proper date before having sex with him

>>34274964

>>34271272

>>34274998
cute

>>34274949
Pathetic

>>34274998
Mom doesn't know it's to lure in the lolicon teacher she has by pretending to be a pure young girl who doesn't know about sex

>>34274949
>>34274998
I must protect her smile.

>"Oh DO take your time, here, get a good look at what you're signing fo-"
>"O-oh so you signed without even getting a good look at me? Well that's very nice bu-"
>"O-oh, s-so you knew from the sound of my voice that I would perf-"
>"Young man flattery won't get you anywhere, my eyes aren-"
>"...Hurry up and pen in those 36 additional signatures and initials, momma can't wait any longer."

>>34275076
i want to sign using my white ink deep inside your womb

>>34275076
gonna sign it in blood for that authentic demon experience!

well, I was working out a color scheme for my wurm wife, Anna Maria and this is what I came up with

>>34275076
>twiddle your fingers and look down
>mumble "I don't know how to write"
Guaranteed to get interesting

>>34275168
Comfy earthy colors

>>34273857
Queen Azshara

>>34275076
okaymommy

>>34275168
I HAVE COME FROM BELOW TO CONQUER YOU HUMANS. NOW DIRECT ME TO THE MEAT.

>>34275106
>demon super protective of her firstborn
>claims she's the proof of the everlasting contract with her husband

>>34275148
>it takes anon days to sign the contract
>demon says you can't rush it, she won't stand to see you in danger
>supplies you with plenty of raisens and iron rich foods

>>34272354
I enjoy it greatly and love the idea of spoiling a dumb wurm.

>https://youtu.be/o1YjniGJHDo
My pepeloni sense is tingling and I am 85% certain that model there is not Haachama...

>>34273163
Because that's your lucky card?

>>34275191
>looks like we'll have to come to some extreme measures
>she pulls out the demon handbook
>flips to the forbidden section
>VERBAL CONTRACTS
>she shudders at the legal nightmares she's only heard of in legend

>>34273857
And the Cat

>>34275259
Monsters calling themselves momma makes me shudder deep down inside

>>34275076
fuck contracts, time to put that tongue of yours to work

>>34273857
It might've been XJ9 if you want to count robots or if aliens maybe that one chick from Zoidberg's species who wanted to fuck Fry.

>>34275328
Same but with noble/refined monstergirls character-breaking to show off their hunger for (you).

>>34275232
Squid or elf

>>34275328
well, it makes me hard

>>34273857
Does Rita Repulsa count?

>>34273857
rosario+vampire, the concept itself made me think of monster girls

>>34275328
It’s even better when she has a southern accent!

New commission, this time featuring a wight ruler getting drunk as fuck and demanding her cool amazon general put her muscles to use. Do you prefer stoic musclegirls, or passionate ones?

>>34275347
>at a classy party with wight wife
>she's giving me high heel footy under the table
>how did she project her claws on her heel

>>34275454
Hroz?

>>34275469
Yep!

>>34275454
Passionate but very cute and endearing

>>34275474
nice, I loved them doujins of his.

>>34275168
Very nice

>>34275500
thanks, the next pic i was thinking of doing is drawing myself painting her

>>34269276
>/tg/, /trash/, or /d/ shit
I don't go to any of those boards.
I was just wondering how loyal evilfags would be to their girls since there are some of them can really be, like Yunofags and Esdeathfags, but it looks like the evilfags here don't really like actual evil girls, but just prefer watered down "evil-looking"(both in appearance and personality) girls instead.
>>34269321
What's karbo?

>>34273857
Wasn't expecting to see them as monster girl. Was happy to see them though since I think they're cool.

>>34275358
Both, but I like the naga version more

>>34271272

>>34275313
That and she's a huggable tapestry of muscle.

>>34275604
I love my evil wife!

>>34249363
>>34271019
>>34271152
>Step 1: Monsterize
>Step 2: Get a guy who wants a harem
>Step 3: Get a bunch of alps
>Step 4: Have lots of group sex
ftfy

i wish to be smothered by a BEEG monster girl and wake up in a me-shaped crater every day

>>34275465
>High-heel footjob so I shoot hot ropes of cum all over her cute toes

Hot

>>34275454
Stoic in public, passionate in private.

Can't take it anymore. I'm freaking losing it. I'm angry. I'm upset. I can't focus on productive behavior. I need a Gazer to just fuck my shit up and help me relax.

>>34275604
I do enjoy Esdeath-level evil characters, but these threads are not the place to talk about them. If my monster wife was actually at that level of evil, I would only want her to prioritize the happiness of our family before evildoing.

>>34275338
>oh this tongue is going to work alright
>hope you're ok with paying overtime
Demons always take things the extra mile

>>34275803
I desire a BEEG and soft monster maid

>>34271272
This is your maid for today.

>>34275872
>Gazer waifu uses her powers to make my limbs all feel weak and heavy
>Wraps me in her stalks
>Says I need to chill out
>Starts playing with my ears and hair
>Says we'll be doing this for a few hours at least
I want this

>>34274819
The ones you never expect to be delinquents

>>34276417
green worm delinquent

>>34276436
It might happen, we'll see.

>>34276314
Okay, what's the catch?

>>34276535
She's only your maid today, afterwards she's your wife

Perfect defense against Delinquents monster girls.
>What ya doing here
Mumble
>I couldn't hear ya
mumble
>She leans down to hear ya
You , and french her like your life depended on it

>>34276535
You're her butler after tonight.

>>34276436
I can see it. All dressed up in her Bancho outfit

>>34271317
AM I BEING DETAINED!? I HAVE THE RIGHT TO TRAVEL FREELY ACCORDING THE ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION.

>>34276575
What if she's big though? Like I can't quite french her? Would a sensual blow on the neck suffice?

>>34276642
then french her lower mouth

>>34274819
Salamander bancho constantly picking fights with the toughest guys from all the schools in the city to try and find a man worthy of marrying.

>>34271317
Do you have a license for being so cute?

>>34271317
No i got something better
A sage told me to come here and find my destined Shirohebi wife
Who are you to stand between me and destiny?

Beware the Mechocracy of Grem LIΠ, I hear they've been making some rather 'unorthodox' alterations to their citizens using automatech.

>>34276720
Inb4 emp

>>34276575
An even better defense is to learn teleport. You can even take an aggressive approach with it.
>Set up multiple teleport markers all around town
>Find delinquent and make the first move
>French her, flip her skirt, grope her butt, doesn't matter because you can teleport away
Just make sure you don't get too predictable with the locations, or she's going to have her friends wait at the markers and pin you down until she gets there for some (probably lewd) payback.

>>34276746
Hey, explain to me the reason for a manticore to have her tailbulb altered with a repeating series of venom syringe launchers.

>>34276787
well look behind you, then

I would make so much money being a Shirohebi-focused fortune teller, but I would assume I could be more broad reaching than that. I would just tell them very generic things about their "fated one".
>Yes Ms. Shiro... it would seem that your destined one has dark eyes and a sweet personality... you'll know it when you see him
>Ms. Hebi... your destined one is fairly average in height, but not heart. He'll love you with all his heart
>exicted Hebi noises

>>34276819
>Mechacore that has a glowing targeting visor and is latched to the wall while her tailbulb tracks you.
Terrifying.

I was wondering how frustrated would fight monsters get when an anon has a royal guard of sorts, whereas long as he can time it correctly, he can parry any damage. And the anon is perfect at it yet never hits back

>>34276865
>"I know you are a fraud, Anon."
>"You keep telling me that my fated one has eyes that are different than yours"
>"If you are willing to lie to me about this, who knows what else you are willing to lie about"
>blue flames engaged

>>34276787
Now I'm just imagining an unmodified manticore telling cybercore that she doesn't need a high capacity tailpussy, and that natural venom and spines is more than enough to get a husband.

>>34276562
So she'll stop cleaning the house after? What a scamming freeloader.

>>34276575
Swing your wife around to whack them.

>>34276910
Oh, at that point they just use the unblockable/unparryable grab attacks that all monsters have access to.

>>34276939
responds we are manticores and the men should fear the manticore

>>34276939
>Please, the change in potency and fire rate is the only thing I enjoy you normie, I have enough force in these babies to nail a boy half a kilo-out and the optics to make it happen.

Granted, I'm also imagining this mechacore has cyberlimbs as well.

>>34276910
Attack you with her cunt so she can cum from being parried.

Upcoming cheesy rance novel in MGE world:

Human girl with incubus boyfriend

Raw contractless sex with a loli Demon

>>34276939
>>>
fudd manti and gucci manti at the range

>>34271317
>No, but I got me loicence fer marryin' a minotah right 'ere
>Alright then, off yah go. Stop standin' there like some daft-
>OI OI OI WAIT A BLOODY MOMENT

In the world of MGe where the gender roles and expectations are reversed.

It is men who freak out and go livid at women barging in to the men's room when they naked.

>>34277019
?
Is this just a random shitpost or is there actually something being made?

>>34277044
The contract is written inside her cunny and your cum is the signature.

>>34277170
>>34277170
I would be the only dude who walks around nude not giving a fuck and acting like the dirty whore I am

I want to spend a long day working in the hot sun, then go back indoors and plant myself on top of a cool Undine to rehydrate.

>>34271317
Reminds me of Helga from Buta no Gotoki.

>>34277044
>contractless sex
sounds like the sort of thing you'd find in the lewdest demon-oriented romance novels that none of them would dare admit reading
>pomf
>"Huh? B-but you haven't signed my contract yet!"
>"Let me see if you can take my counteroffer"
>100 more pages of the most bottom barrel contract-related innuendos imaginable

>>34277200
Do you pronounce it oon-dee-ne or un-dine?

>>34277228
i would read it just to laugh

>>34276917
>hmmm my magic ball must be malfunctioning
>I see now. Yes a problem with the connection.
>I see a beautiful snake girl with shining scarlet eyes who would love a humble fortune teller finally finding her beloved
Business saved, wife acquired.

>>34277228
>leglocks anon
>"I'll have you know I'm not a fan of opt-out clauses, Onii-chan"
>pumps a huge load in her loli cunny
>"It's ok, full liability is my middle name"

I'm going to sell illegal handholds and headpats to monster girls on the street!

>>34277332
why ya tell, anon. sell it, make it, and zip it

>>34277332
>Not knowing that's pretty much a marriage proposal
>First girl you lock fingers with rapes the shit out of you and seals the deal.
Poor anon didn't know what he was getting himself into.

>>34277332
>Danuki with sunglasses and a mino with a trenchcoat approach an office lady succubus on a back alley
>You got the goods?
>Of course I got the goods, who do you think I am?
>Mino opens trenchcoat to reveal a tied up gagged guy with a sign that says 'headpats plz ma'am'
>Succubus licks her lips hands the nuki a wad of cash
>Pleasuring doing business with you
>No, you, thanks.
>They descretely leave the alleyway, making sure nobody was watching

Ancient evil lava golems sure are hot

>>34277433
oh mama, that is one sexy milf

>>34277433
Pizza golem

>>34277433
Thicc lava golems are appealing just because I could pull a terminator and sink into one while giving a thumbs up

>>34277332
>flap in the back of a shady porn shop in monster city
>if you put in enough money, a hand pops out for you to hold
>some depraved monsters even kneel in front of it, letting the hand scratch their scalp and run its fingers through their hair
>no one wants to come in on Thursdays because that's the day the Anon who eats flamin' hot cheetos is in, and monsters got tired of walking out with crusty red dust on their hands and hair
>everyone except beelzebub akaname that is

>>34277496
>raiju kicked out of the store for lowering her dripping hole on the hand

>>34277229
uhn-deen.

>>34277229
un-dee-nay :)

>>34277607
It's pronounced U-nuh-dee-nay you troglodyte.

>>34277548
>pervy anon happily follows her out of the store and continues patting her pussy

how fucked am i
>live in apratment with very thin walls
>all neighbors are very horny and desperate CCs monster girls
>Couldn't take it anymore
>Jerked my dick so hard and much that I sounded like I was fighting the devil itself
>Well, they are at the door now

>>34277788
Jump out the window and out the fire escape. Soil some clothes beforehand and lock them in the bathroom to throw them off as you escape. The next day, when they've cooled off and they ask you about it, say you weren't home and it must have been a burglar.

>>34277788
You're fine. The cakes at your door are polite enough to visit you under some false pretense to seduce you. The real danger is the cakes who will rip through those thin walls to get to you

>>34271272

>>34277229
Oon-deen.
Also, bit of undine trivia: Prior to the term urophilia, piss fetishists called it undinism.

SHEEPLE

If hand holding is lewd, and headpats are extra lewd, what the lewdest thing ya can do?

>>34277980
Direct eye contact while saying "I love you"

>>34277980
Hugging headrubs

>>34277957
Constantly waking your weresheep wife up in the middle of the night with deranged conspiracy theories about the sexuality of mucus toads! Being smothered by a weresheep wool pillow until you go back to sleep! Sleepwalking to your corkboard with pictures of lilims and lines connecting to various unrelated events and things! Being shackled to the bed by your sheep wife so she can cuddle you properly as you mumble in your sleep about how the Demon Lord is really the Chief God!

>>34277980
Walking her home gently.

>>34278048
This is how your earn a trip to see flayer-chan, anon.

>horror game development by the video game branch of the Sabbath
>a post-apocalyptic survival game with explicit imagery and scenes like a man tied up and gang-raped by a rebellious Children-of-the-Corn-style pact of little girls while you watch during a stealth mission

>>34278048
ya forgot one thing, anon, the 'nuki problem

>>34278088
She's with THEM, isn't she?!

>>34278112
You can't use the n-word, anon!

>>34278111
>Vidya Sabbath, horror branch
>Lots of girls cosplay Madotsuki, Ib, and Ellen
>Some onii-chans are morphed into Slenderman-like forms with Chaos magic
>Small subgroup set up like an SCP facility
>Cheese Pizza parlor where security guard onii-chans get jumpsexed by lolis in mascot costumes

What’s the punishment for stealing a kakuen’s banana?

>>34278199
Them 'nukis are a 2% of the population yet hold damn near 90% of the government positions. now tell me why is they on the side that collects taxes, hmmm?

>>34278210
You get her other banana.
Tail pegging.

>>34278210
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyLZdxHM8Ks

>>34278210
you need to pay back with interest

>Monster devs always insist on adding a struggle mechanic to their games for when the monsters grab you, even though it has been proven that it is physically impossible to meet the mashing requirement to escape before the orgasm bar fills

>>34278199
>Nuki is our word anon, but you're cool and can say Danuki if you want.

>>34278210
Don't think of it as stealing, think of it as sharing.
>Kakuen demands you play the pocky game with a banana

i want to fuck with a nuki's nooky, how should i go about it?

>>34278322
That's why I have a controller with turbo. Monsters always say that you need to be cunning if you want to survive. Either that or they said you need cunny if you want to survive, I forget.

>>34278341
Work at a coffee shop apparently.

>>34278350
Not even that will save you, it is coded into the game that the escape meter cannot go past 99%

>>34272136
You know that in the real world, men you probably freak out too right ?

>>34278210
She grabs yours.

Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, be sure to have fun in the 'wilds'.
Sure, they may basically be monster girl luddites who want to return to the 'old ways' but damn if it ain't a great way to experience the old days of fightin' monster girls.

>>34278430
Nah, I love fucking new technology, that's why most of them monster girls are still virgins

>>34274910
>Headcanon
Isn't that what oni are? The groups are possible but being rowdy vicious drunks is they're MO

>>34278322
I'm going to plug my automaton into the game so I can beat the requirement.

>>34278367
Time to meet the devs and fuck them silly with raging mushrooms to force them to add maledom scenes.

>>34275076
>"Oh DO take your time, here, get a good look at what you're signing fo-"
>"O-oh so you signed without even getting a good look at me? Well that's very nice bu-"
>"O-oh, s-so you knew from the sound of my voice that I would perf-"
I thought the twist was going to be that he was blind and couldn't read the contract

>>34278322
>certain grabs like getting bitten by a Vampire or getting milked by a Manticore are just impossible to struggle out
fucking tanuki devs

What's your waifu's version of "the look"? For me it's the the one that says "I know I tease you from time to time, but the truth is I care about you deeply even if I'm too proud to admit it. I'm worried about you, and if anything is troubling you, I want to help. So please, please let me help. I love you."

>>34278322
time to mod liek hell

>>34278526
Munch

>>34271272

>>34271272
I want a zombie wife that will cool me off during bedtime cuddles, with her making quiet grumbles of undead comfort because of all the warmth I'm giving her.

>>34271272

>>34278571
I though those were speech bubbles.

>>34277788
https://youtu.be/BDyuvDXnC64

>Take new Jinko wife to the store
>Tell her we need a new bed that actually fits the two of us
>She looks at all the beds and says they aren't quite right
>Ask her what she wants
>Takes me to the cat goods section
>Points to a cat condo
>"This but big"
>Tell her that they don't make those
>Confused as to why people don't want jungle gym beds

>>34278515
>If you do escape they come back post-game as an uber powerful unbeatable boss

>>34271272

>>34278704
Do we really need to see this every thread?

>>34278693
Would a monster get mad if she finally managed to get invited back to your place and all you had was a mattress? I mean mad that you're not taking care of yourself not disappointed mad

>>34278088
Based, I wanna marry a /pol/-tier Flaya who enjoys watching flat Earth videos on BitchChute at 2 in the morning and fills my head with memories of Hyperborea and Atlantis.

>>34277825
Why would cakes be at your door? You bake a cake in the oven you dummy!

>>34277980
Traditional marriage.

I don't know why, but the idea of a bathhouse where monster girls clean you sounds really appealing to me. While lowering your guard and letting a horny monster girl have full access to your naked body does sound a little dangerous, it's also part of the experience.

>>34278788
get a cancer

>>34278788
Just hit the sauna, that's where you get REALLY clean.

>>34278722
Yes

>>34278800
No, no we don't

>>34278799
>Anon enters a sauna filled with horny minos

>>34278722
Get the spray hose.

>>34278749
Depends. If she's planning on grinding your pelvis to dust, it means there's no bedframe to break, which can be either a good thing or a bad thing in her mind

>>34278773
Must've been a Wurm baker.

>>34278808
Now we will see how they handle löyly

>>34278788
yeah, i liked that bit of dragonia

>>34273857
Unironically this was the first time that I thought non-human traits on a girl was an improvement, and since then it's only gotten more and more true.

>>34278830
>Ah yes, it is time for me, a single male living in Dragonia, to enter this bathouse and enter the two-person bathtub. Though I have nobody to share it with, that just means I have so much extra leg room to spread out. I sure do enjoy my current life as a bachelor

>>34278798
They are good girls, I just wish that the crab part was a little bigger.

>>34278788
>slow rolling chuff accompanied with an inviting gaze
>satisfied stretching and smirking at you
>"Come on in, the water's just fine"

>>34278856
Sorry ma'am, I'm into scales
>turn 360 and walk away

>>34278856
Tigers like water

>>34278856
Oops my bad, thought this was the loli bath, not the hag bath. My apologies. Have a nice bath!

>>34278846
Not like I could read the signs that say what kind of bath it would be anyway.

>>34278693
>jungle gym beds
Those are actually a thing, it's just you have to either get them custom made or build them yourself

>>34278856
I'll join in, but I'm keeping my distance. I get very sleepy in warm water, and I don't think an old chuffer like her could resist pouncing on someone right next to them if they are vulnerable.

>>34278788
Think the quality of the experience really depends on the kind of monster you're paired up with.
>Big monster struggling to find the appropriate amount of force to provide a good cleaning, but will feel good once she gets the hang of it
>Small monster being able to thoroughly clean every part of your body with her dexterous hands, but you'll need to sit down for most of it
>Snake monster soaping up her body and washing you by coiling herself around you for a very lewd and somewhat effective cleaning

>>34278693
Why is the tiger sad? It hurts my feelings seeing people like that

>>34278852
>double horse sized crab
Chubby chaser.

>>34278985
Imagine getting jumped by a bunyip there.

>>34278341
If you don't pay off your debts to a danuki then you have to marry her, but if you do pay off your debts then she has to marry you.

>see those red blobs? they're edible

>>34279189
This Hatter is exuding Cheshire energy.

>>34279189
i want to hear a rainbow, we have a common interest in mind

>>34279189
Are you a spade or heart hatter?

>>34279292
What's the difference?

>>34279310
Spades are more energetic while hearts are more passionate I think

Both will rape you for hours though

>>34279337
What do clubs and diamonds do?

>>34279189
>Hacking into Heaven with Mad Hatter-San

>>34279341
Clubs are sleepy and diamonds like to experiment with new stuff

>>34279341
Clubs are shy introverts. Diamonds are sexual deviants and tricksters.

Also, if that hatter is a Spade, then she's fuckin' ripped under that outfit. Spades are the toughies.

>>34279189
>just regular human women with some brain fungus
Hatters are the lamest.

>>34279341
Spades = Hyper-active, will drag you around everywhere to have sex

Clubs = Sleepy, quiet shut-ins

Diamonds = They make /d/ look tame

Hearts = Coomer-brains on steroids. Your dick will never see the light of day again

>>34279379
kek, not as bad as dark mages

>>34279368
>Diamonds are sexual deviants and tricksters.
Well that explains why my cheshire wife shaves her pubic hair into a diamond instead of heart like kiki and the oni sisters.

good night I will dream of my wurmy and her warm milk

>>34279189
Do you think rival hatters subtly throw shade at each other while calmly sipping tea?

Reminder that no matter what strange kingdom, area or plane you find yourself in. There's always a Tanuki ready to trade with.

>>34278869
>spins in circle and walks into the chuff water
>like a schmuck from Sicily
Lmao. I think this is funny as hell, or a sign of hookah fatigue.
>>34279189
My felllow Wonderllllland man is rocking hard tonight! Tap that fat ass for the power of love, motherfucker.

>>34279470
no matter where I go, they still there. Hell I went to hell and still found one of those smug danukis waiting there

>>34279470
does this nuki steal adrenochrome from the sabbath for satanic rituals?

>>34279470
This Nuki looks like she needs either a facefuck or doggystyle

>>34279470
>At the entrance to a desert, a Desert Tanuki is selling jugs of water at a marked up price.
>Refuse to accept such high prices, decide to press on to the next oasis town.
>Halfway across, you spot a small collection of tents in the middle of the desert, after your water ran out a while ago this seems like a lucky break.
>It's the same smug Desert Tanuki, but the water she sells is now double the previous price.

>>34279491
>goes to hell
>surprised to find piles of lawyers and businessmen
I don't think you're gonna make it, Bubba. Less you can flip flop on them stubs you call legs.

>>34279517
I ain't no bubba, I'm Boobi and I got them squatomatics for legs

>>34279470
strange randoseru not gonna lie