/jp/ - Otaku Culture

i don't know but I love my wife

>>33626593
The lost cities are built by the lost people.

What's there to watch on the maid channel?

>>33626632
Morning Maid Talk is pretty funny. Maids from all over the world call and write in and the maids who host the show answer their questions.
Just don’t troll them, last time someone called in and asked; “ why are you still single?” they stopped production on the show for a whole two weeks!

>>33626630
So people just get lost and build cities where they end up?

Oi, oi!

>>33626632
There are some who say her sweat can be used to clean precious metals, and she naturally faces magnetic north. All we know is, she's called The Shog.

>>33626759
what ya want, I ain't got nothing but love to ya lot

>>33626632
Shoggoths cleaning impossible cities of towering cyclopean architecture. Such as stairs with steps far too large for any human to tread and built at a time that long predates the earliest known human civilizations
I want more abyssal girls. I like shoggs but they shouldn't be the only go-to for eldritch maids

Opinions on jabberwock?

>>33626789
I want to explore such megastructures.

>>33626593
The many civilizations that rose in ages past before pre-DL monsters wiped them out.
All sanctioned by the former Chief God, of course.

>>33626805
a good girl

>>33626740
How do you think Nebraska was made?

>>33626759
Oh hey there you girls are. One of you dropped your wallet back at the station so I wanted to give it to you. Don't worry, some creepy Danuki was trying to swipe your cash out of it, but I managed to swipe it and keep your money safe! By the way, one of you mentioned you wanted to try the new Sakura Shogsi but 4/20 was all sold out, here I was going to tell you I accidentally bought 2 if you wanted one haha. Well see you guys in class tomorrow.

>>33626805
She looks like she fucks shota cock

>>33626805
Good girl. Just not my favorite dragon.
>other than a JubJub and WonderWorm wonderland girls just don’t do much for me

>>33626814
>>33626814
Call of the void. Always had an obsession with
>Impossible structures
>Lost ancient civilizations
>Buildings in environments of natural desolation
>The implication of non-human civilization on Earth that predates our own
Especially when all of the above are ridiculous in scale

>>33626877
Ironic cuckposting is still cuckshit reddit-kun

>>33626888
Opposite to me, those are the two I pretty much don’t care for.
Hell, Trumparts are pretty much the sole exception to my generally dim view of majin-types.

>>33626945
Yes, I love all this shit.
>Stalker
>Blame!
>Made in Abyss
And other stuff like that is just the bee's knees my man.

>>33626687
>Spoiler
>Why do you think you have the authority to talk about 'a maids duties' when you don't have a master
Might be overstepping from trolling into a kidnapping and punishment justification

>>33626945
At the Mountains of Madness and The Shadow Out of Time are two of my favorite works of fiction for much that reason.

>>33626960
But isn’t that a shota in the picture with her or am I blind?

>>33626976
I got that vibe from Little Nightmares too, although it has more of a normal horror as opposed to eldritch vibe. Something about a massive ship turned into a floating city is crazy to me. I haven't played the sequel so that's only a spoiler for the first game don't worry

>>33626593
>>33626605
>>33626857
Hoax
The lost cities were created by the Demon Lord to deceive Chief God's believers.

reminder that sheep and gote girls need lots of love to function at maximum capacity

>>33627039
>Derailing an actual conversation for a pointless retarded post
Mong

>>33627049
that gote needs some meat on her bones

Anyone have any monster girl dreams they want to share?

>>33627028
And let's not forget all the Team Ico games.

Real men carry their wives!

>>33626861
A woman at this point, not a girl. Don't give hags false hope.

>>33627083
I had a dream where I gave my jacket to Yuki ona, because she was cold and I promised her to help her find her husband. After a search, she told me that I'm her husband and I woke up.
I don't even like Yuki Onas that much.

>>33627083
I know it's a stupid joke but I just had to

>>33626805
Fat and old.

MERE TOM

>>33627081
That's what the pregnancy is for

>>33627111
I'm fine with not being a real man as long as my wife is happy.

>>33627124
Fuck off retard

>>33627111
I want more pics of men princess carrying monsters

>>33627114
I'll take hags cause I love older woman much more than lolis for one thing and on thing alone they soft and squishy with a full figure and a bit of pudge

>>33627129
Can't wait for this to be run into the ground so it can join the pile of meaningless discarded buzzwords

>>33627114
>that fupa
i have a mighty need

Flip the coin, then fuck it

>>33627170
yes,ilovefatties

Are gremlins cats?

>>33627126
Well that's just rude

>>33627187
Creeping Coin + Tanuki is the perfect harem, prove me wrong

>>33627083
I keep telling myself I’m gonna get into lucid dreaming so I can have fun dreams with my waifu but I never get around to it

>>33627222
digits say I can't so I won't

>>33627187
how do you fuck money?

Imagine important monsters geting dramatic intro music

>tfw no creeping coin to force you to act like a stripper and then throw money at you.

>>33627246
Ask Scrooge

>>33627249
I need this

>>33627129
This cat is not brown, so rape is not a concern.

>>33627249
I just want Selene to do someing like Bisons cape throw in street fighter 2

https://forms.gle/mfpBzErVhUZqiLiS6
https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1-lZ4tE6Gf-xPSRokWWInwxhbi4qUijQF&usp=sharing
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1tB3D09Sx5gsmlQ1j74Iz5vX6Zt4vdrv4vaVHBUu4lS4/edit?usp=sharing
Poll repost!

If you fucked up your entry in the past, assuming you use the same google account or incognito mode, you should be able to edit it

>>33627249
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl1wu3PQ1bc&ab_channel=Ivarov23
PROTECTOR OF THE TREASURE

>>33627316
>or incognito mode
or didnt use incognito mode*

>>33626998
>spoiler
Jesus Anon, if you don’t get raped within the next week by all of them, then production will have to deal with four alcoholic CC Kikimoras.

>>33627212
No, they're Gremlins.
>>33627263
>tfw not working in a strip club with mamono customers

>>33627083
>Have a dream about meeting a scrawny hellhound
>Asks if I'm interested in her
>Not my #1 pick but sex is sex and I'm probably only going to have this dream once
>Have the same dream a few days later, but now the hellhound has gained some muscle and got a little taller
>Tells me she's feeling a lot better since last time, and wants to see if she gets any bigger if we do it again
>Musclegirls give me a boner, so I agree to it
Didn't have a waifu before, I guess I have one now.

>>33627331
At least he didn't say the real taboo
What is even the point of maids? Seems like a hassle to have to feed and house someone who probably doesn't even do too much to begin with!

>>33626687
>>33626998
It’s a well known that teachers are teachers because they couldn’t get a real job in their field

>>33627126
Just the way I want her

>>33627407
this man has a good eye for fine women, not those lolis that people wish to have

>>33627129
>tfw no molly

>>33627331
>then production will have to deal with four alcoholic CC Kikimoras.


>late at night a Danuki producer gets a phone call
>”What the fuck did those damn emus do this time?”
>”They got caught on camera being sloppy drunk and hitting on anything with a dick?”
>”TMZ already bought the video?!?!”
>”What do you need to do about it?”
>”Don’t do a damn thing! They’ll either become viral stars which means ratings for us! OR; they get so embarrassed they quit and I don’t have to hear another thing about ‘the most up to date vacuum’ or ‘which brand of sugar is best for baking’! It’s a total win win for me!”

Got a new Kobold waifu commission! Latex makes any outfit better.

>>33627436
Seek professional help

>>33627425
>Producer gets another call
>It's from her loving househusband
>Hey sweetie I'm thinking of making you a cake for being such a hard worker, do you by chance know what sugar those Kiki's over at the Meido Channel use for baking?
>Uhh 1 sec
>Hangs up with her husband and instantly calls her assistant back
>Alright alright where are they and how sloshed are we talking?

>>33627436
She looks gorgeous, man. Pencil skirts really suit her! What are you getting next?

>>33627422
my ideal is several feet taller than me, impossibly strong and at least double or triple my weight.

>mgs built for constant impregnation and being being bent over things in the house.

>>33627436
hot

>>33627436
What's smokin' sexy miss kobold gonna teach today?

>>33627124
I don't get it.

>>33627481
Ah I've seen You're a man of GRAND spirit and military grade tastes as well.

>>33627481
nice, my tastes are more /d/, so I won't talk about mine, but you have good taste

>>33627484
Harpies, you just described harpies.

>>33627481
I like girls that are tall and curvy with a healthy helping of ass.

>>33627451
I see a therapist on a regular basis anon, she says waifus are a-ok.

>>33627473
Thanks anon! I'm not really sure though, ideas have been very slow lately.

>>33627498
Probably something about how skilled her mouth and throat are.

>>33626998
>Angry shogs start coming out of the corners of the room

I hope you're looking forward to being used as the "lazy master" training dummy

>>33626593

>>33627503
It's from a hentai game called "Monster Girl Dreams"

>>33627436
That looks uncomfortable to walk in

>>33627316
How long is this going to be open?
I'm stuck between choosing two species as my favorite, and I don't want it closing on me before I make my pick.

She is a good kitty but she would rape me in a heartbeat.

>>33627583
I'll leave it open probably forever, but eventually I'll just forget about it, or just choose not to update the map because not enough responses

>>33627576
Latex is pretty stretchy anon. Even if it wasn't, my waifu is a total bondage slut so she'd be into it.

>>33627322

>>33627157
Hags are weird and inferior to a normal younger girl appropriate for your age.

>>33627436
Nice

>>33627164
>Tomposting stops
>New MGErpg update
>All the waifus have special words for refering to their mates.

>>33627622
well, I can't change "special" people so I will agree to disagree with your opinion

>>33627661
Nice

Feel like going to a show but don't want to go alone? Consider Greenworms! Whether you're a refined individual who dabbles in exquisite artistic foreign films or an average anon excited to go to the theater to see the new Supermamono Cinematic Universe installation, Greenworms can be an exciting addition to your evening excursion! If Greenworms are really good at one thing, it's sitting in place for a period of time and eating, which is basically what you do when watching a movie! When the lights dim down and the show starts you'll realize what a great time you and your Greenworm are going to have!

The first advantage comes from the economic side of things. Due to a recent law passed in part by the Sabbath Equality Council, any and all mamono under a certain height and build are allowed free access to all public facilities and a few private ones, such as movie theaters, auditoriums, aquariums, and zoos as long as they are a registered pair with someone who could pass as the "big brother" type. Greenworms fall under the specifications, so going to the theater for 2 actually only costs as much as going alone would. This means that going with a Greenworm is a bargain compared to other mamono friends!

While I can't do anything to quell the greedy Danuki movie theater owners from overcharging you, your Greenworm will definitely make the snacks last. Take popcorn for example. The Greenworm's nubs aren't well suited to actually pick up and eat more than 1 kernel at a time, meaning that 1 large bucket of popcorn will last an incredibly long time, assuming your Greenworm is invested enough in the movie to not bury her face in the bucket. In many cases it'll be you going through your refreshments faster than your Greenworm!

Me and my Greenworm had made plans to go visit the movie theater, as the new installment in the "Agent Duster" trilogy just came out - "No Time to Line Dry". I know she's been looking forward to seeing this one, because one of the new characters is a Wonderworm spy-maid who's expertise is in cooking and climbing up walls to do espionage. It's a little embarrassing having to go through the Sabbath line and get my "Onii-san ID" checked by a little girl that I'm 99% sure is touching herself behind the counter, but I do what I must for my little Greenworm. We bought our snacks and went to the theater and began to settle in. The show itself was fantastic, with there being plenty of action, drama, and romance. Eventually my Greenworm was having some trouble eating her popcorn and focusing on the show, as the smaller kernels further down the bucket were harder to grasp. I took the initiative and whispered that I would feel her the popcorn while she watched, which at first she seemed opposed to but eventually agreed after struggling to pick up a kernel. It was a bit awkward, but eventually we got into a good rhythm of picking up a kernel and her taking it from my hand without breaking attention from the screen.

Near the end of the movie she said she wanted to feed me too, which I thought was unbearably cute. I stared directly at the screen, just as the movie was starting to wrap up. Agent Duster had just been reunited with Master after being captured, and Master leaned in for a kiss. I saw a kernel coming in from the corner of my eye and opened my mouth to take it. Only, this kernel wasn't on the end of her claw, it was in-between her lips! We were both red faced as our lips stayed connected for what felt like an eternity but was really only a few seconds. The movie felt like it ended abruptly and we disconnected as soon as people started to rise up out of their seats to leave and the lights came on. She let out an awkward laugh and said that she couldn't get the kernel in her grasp and didn't want the movie to end without feeding me at least once. I just gave her a headpat and told her to not worry about it, it tasted delicious. With that, we went back home and talked for a while about how great the movie was.

I believe that you too can have a great experience with your Greenworm watching a movie together. The movie was so much more memorable when I remember it along with the everlasting memories me and my Greenworm made, and I think you will too!

>>33627706
How much is Big Worm paying you for this anon?

>>33627661
God I wish. I love TOMposting

>>33627706
Also pic related is the ultimate way to make undead seethe when they invite you to a party and they don't know about >smug neckworm

>>33626593
>Good morning, hubby, did you have a nice sleep?
>2020? Global pandemic? Economic devastation? What are you talking about? Sounds like you need some affection.

>>33627770
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdC_Cu9X4wc&ab_channel=speeoutlaw

What did one wight say to another at an undead party when she saw a zombie disguised as a wight?
"Something isn't wight here."

>>33627878
What did the wight say to her husband as they ran 15 minutes late to a party?
"Wight on time"

>>33627316
>there's another anon in kiwiland with me
>thought I was alone in normie central

>>33627878
>>33627890
Wights making puns scares me. It scares me even more that one day I just know my Greenworm is going to come home after hanging out with Mrs. Wight and will say something like "The undead kingdom is so cold, I like it here where it's nice and worm"

>>33627917
It was either let my wife teach her puns or let my wife train her to be a cute and cuddly engine of pelvis destruction for the amusement of a crowd.
And I'm still not entirely sure she didn't sneak in the second, I have to sleep sometime.

>>33627878
>>33627890
>>33627917
Wight makes wight

>>33604130

No, seriously. The Werecat calling you Tom, bullying you and dominating you during sex and this is the Werecat. Jumping at you before you can even react.

Can you guys imagine how sex with the fucking Ocelomeh would be like?

>>33627873
>showing a dragon your silver stack

>>33627986
How can we MERE TOMS even compete....

>>33627187
>Anon gambles with Creeping Coin
>Says he'll flip one of her coins, heads he bangs her, tails he keeps walking, best 2/3
>She agrees
>Unbeknownst to anon, she can change her coins however she pleases, even in midair

And that's the story of how money cheated to make anon fuck money, the end.

>>33626593

>>33628076
DUMMPE ET

>>33627661
It's a nice reminder to emphasize that monsters consider us males of their species, which is still a bit hard to wrap my head around.

>>33628017
>I am the champion and ruler of the Eart-
>Shut up, no one cares!
>The Dragon looks up to see a feline figure approaching. Is she a strong Jinko? An Ocelomeh?
>Instead is a Werecat
>Say that again and I am roasting you
>Of course, a savage resorting to violence when confronted with your superior is to be expected.
>?! You say?! Explain yourself!
>You get turned into MERE LIZARDS by men. We turn men into MERE TOMS.
>Dragon goes away pouting

>>33628212
I dunno what other wights call their husbands, but I don't think having pet names all meaning 'scratching post' in several dead languages means anything good for me.

Attention anons:

massive minotaur muscles

That is all.

>>33628212
Do baphos call you Billy?

>>33628212
What should my Greenworm call me then

>>33628308
Most loli monsters using Onii-chan pretty much comes from that Sabbath and the Baphomets that lead them in MGE.

>>33628285
Yes

>>33628285
I want to take a nap between those thighs.

>>33627987
>Dragon demands gold.
>"is silver okay?"

>>33628409
>"Anon! You know full well that bimetalism hurts the economy!"
>"Damned populists..."

>>33628464
it would be all I got

>>33628503
Whatever you say, William Jennings Bryan.

>>33627025
Wockfag isn't tall but he's not shota. His wife is just that big.

>>33626805
They put ghouls to shame, multiple mouths is much better for blowjobs.

>>33628598
Would you really accept a blowjob from one of those? They are just too goofy looking for me

How cute, my niece wants me to take her to the park!

>>33628285
You got that right mate

>>33628640
The doujin made them pretty appealing.

>>33626593

Headbutts are the purest expression of love. Get a girl who can knock you off your feet.

>>33627122
>Yuki onna going for a winter nightwalk
>Anon also on a walk thinks she looks cold and gives her his jacket
>Having a cute boy approach and do something nice for her makes her brain go haywire
>Yuki isn't paying attention to anything he's saying and blurts out yes when he looks at her
>"Oh shit wait he thinks I'm married now"
>Follow anon around while giving him false instructions and freaking out internally
>Monster instinct kicks in when the prospect of getting a husband wins out over monster auts
>"You're my husband"
Nice line, very smooth

>>33628725
>Wake up
>"Good morning, Anon!"
>Immediately headbutted by ram gf
>Put right back to sleep

sir your android is overheating

>>33628886
Husband returned to optimal snuggling position

>>33628931
>Oh god she found my porn search history

>>33628666
I mostly prefer bigfox, but smol works sometimes too

Please don't trust the pretty maidens in distress, looking for strong adventurer parties to obtain their family heirlooms from undead demon realms.
Some of them are dopplegangers hired by a sadistic wight to lure in fresh meat!

Where KC got music for his game? Especially the cat one, sounds like some club remix from 00x, kek

>>33626593

>>33628978
fresh meat, you say I got a focking barcode on me back which reads 232231342156, so I think I would be one of those fresh meat, also have government appointed hubby tattooed on my right pec

>>33628978
The tough statuesque warrior is who I trust.

>>33629041
Those tats sure look foreboding...

>>33629041
>Anon, why do you trust an Amazon like that?
>"Because if she was going to rape me she'd just try to fight me and carry me off."

>>33628886
>Wakey wakey
>*THUNK*

>>33627331
>>33627425
Wouldn't actually say it but if I did the only recourse is to anonymously email all four members of the Kiki crew my address and internet history so they'll know I have a mature woman impregnation fetish

>attempt to snatch Shirokuto's hat off her head
>get sucked into the hat and trapped inside a pocket dimension

>>33629074
That's logical. Amazons are not stupid, but they don't see value in coming up with complicated schemes to capture their men. Now, she might not intend to make Anon her househusband from the start, but she can develop interest in him later on.

>>33627383
Tell that to a lich or taku I dare you

>>33629124
Handlebars and head injuries are hot.

>>33629190
You know, its funny.
During this long year I've been able to really improve my cooking.

>>33629041
>He wants to trust Elizabeth's first executioner, and a married one at that
She's going to knock you out and toss you to her sisters. her big, buff, brown and headless sisters.

>>33627622
>normal younger girl appropriate for your age
The monster definition "appropriate for your age" is most wise.

>>33629213
>Sitting around a campfire with amazon adventuring buddy
>she takes a bite of roast
>abruptly stands up and sexually assaults you without saying a word

>>33627622
I enjoy girls the size of that wock and thick thighed lolis though.
Also the occasional pai loli.

>>33629192
>"Haku-sensei can't teach dick, so she teaches class instead."
>Mandatory teacher's lounge special detention

>>33629268
>Haku-sensei can't teach dick
But she tutored Dick personally and even got him onto the honor roll!

>>33629235
>trust Elizabeth's first executioner
Executioners are not known for being schemers, are they? Maybe brutal, but not schemers.
>and a married one at that
That means she's not going to rape me and any interaction with her is going to be professional.

>>33627938
Do you really need to interject your OC into every conversation about nobility, ancient evils, undead, and wights in these threads

>>33627987
>Your silverback
Fuck, that would be so awesome. I wish there were arctic primates besides humans

>>33629287
>trust
>Elizabeth
really should have just stopped right there

>>33629287
Anon's risk was calcuated, but boy, was he bad at math.

>>33626593

Lazy wights who use their magic to become couch potatoes

>>33629414
Sharply dressed centaurs are the best kind of centaurs.

>>33629435

What must be done to make all monster to spill their spaghetti like the virgins they are

>>33629486
Whip out your cock, grab them by their hair, and shove their face into your crotch while commanding them to suck you dry. No matter what monster you do it to, they’ll be utterly stunned by your forwardness

>>33629257
I figured this would happen

>>33629486
Walk up to the biggest strongest most cc monster girl around and ask her out

>>33629486
It closes off the harem route (which is fine by me) but getting down on one knee for a mamono, holding her hands and telling her that you have eyes only for her might get most of them to spill their spaghetti.

I desire for truly epic scenes of spaghetti spilling from monster girls

how's it when you go out shopping with the missus?

>>33629486
Water balloons filled with urine. Also works on human girls.

>>33629645
Annoying. We can't pass a banana, cucumber, or eggplant without her picking it up and waving it around trying to make some lame innuendo.

>>33629645
It starts off normal but after a while she gets jealous about the other couples and ends up trying to show off the fact that her tight wisp pussy can make me cum thrice in one minute

>>33629645
>Eh? Don't you want to browse a bit?
>We came for cereal and we now have them

Are cyclops good girls?

>Riddles? Sorry, I’m on sabbatical.

I think I pulled a rare card, gotta go get it evaluated.

New daughters picture! What do you do when your daughter needs to go to bed?

>>33629786
Uuuuhhh, was that a riddle?

>>33629786
It's Tuesday, though.

>>33628268
A married dragon would just call her a low class thot and visibly adjust her marriage collar.

>>33629798
Why, read them a lovely bedtime story.
>Gathered daughters, listen again to our legend of the Bionicle...
Just keep reading until they doze off or the wife drags you to bed because you've been telling a story for over 2 hours.

>>33629786
Very kino, fellow Egyptianon.

>>33629645
Pretty fun. It’s kinda a lot because she gets swarmed by her fans, but if we just call ahead and tell the establishments that we’re planning to come they usually are really good with the crowds.

>>33629805
what often falls but never gets wet?

>>33629837
deez nuts ha gotem

>>33629837
water

>>33629817
BionicleCHADS ITT never gets old.

monsters have the right to rape old ugly bastards even if these men say no.
let's protest against this, help and protect those poor ugly bastards getting violated by those wretched beautiful mistresses of evil!

>>33629645
My wife Titania claims that she has to stop by the toy section to see what the fairies might want, but I know that it's just because she wants to look for herself. You wouldn't believe the goofy smile on her face when I tell her we should get one that she's been staring down to "test it out" and see if it's good enough to get for the others.

>>33629817
Daughters need to be taught the Legend of the Bionicle

>>33629791
Goddammit. I love it so much thank you Greenworm Anon.
There are no rare cards per se in sports cards. The closest there is are autograph and jersey or relic cards.

>>33629837
the moon

>>33629876
There are rookie cards and special foil or border ones for 1st ed right?

I wonder how much a (you) daki goes for

>jc mgs

>>33629891
Yes there are. There are refractor cards and rookie cards are good too. I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone here knew much about that. But damn I would love to get a full set of Topps Worm League Baseball cards, I hear there’s even a special 1 of 1 card that grants you a romantic date with one of the players!

>>33629742
The goodest.

Are you a pushover Tom?

>We hear at [company] respect the values of the Sabbath and their many affiliated groups, so we will no longer include [insert character associated with jokes that the Sabbath finds offensive] in our future projects, we strive to make the world a more united and peaceful place!
Those damn Tanukis

>>33626593

>>33629911
It's a touchy subject. I'm literally in the Human Boy Encyclopedia as THE dedicated Greenworm husbando, but unfortunately, most Greenworms don't know how to read or make money on their own. I'm the cheapest daki out there because only weird mamono buy me, but I'm probably an outlier.

>>33629791
Really appreciate the fuzzy poison

>>33630042
Fuck the Sabbath for cancelling Gyudon's Muscle Mania on the Exercise Channel. Those supple curves and beefcake muscles where all I lived for. I didn't even workout, I just DVRed that shit for after work because I loved it so much.

>>33629911
Muscle protectionfag weak human boy. Which MGs would buy my daki?

>>33630052
I'm probably the taku in the sense that I get autistically obsessed with something I like and learn about it . Aslo All about weapons, love me that shit, so I would get Hakus, sallys and other martial Mgs, along with the cursed weapons but I don't know what else I might, oh the artist niche as while.

I think dragons would just be jelous of collared dragons having a man, rather than looking down on them for being sexually subby

>>33629798
She gets a nice long belly rub and a story from me or her mama!

Anons, how can I find Jinko love if I live in Ocelomexico City?

I'd ease them in gently and give them lots of cuddles.

>>33630020
I am for that cat.

>>33630154
just yell from the rooftops that you love tight tiger pussy and one will show up. dont ask how, just be glad that it happened.

>>33630073
The sabbath is canceling anything they don't like these days. We won't be seeing our favorite milf monster porn stars anymore at this rate.

>>33629920
>jc mgs
Decent, but js mgs even better.

>>33630209
oh hell to the fuck, where am i get my cougars pouncing on men3, dark mages DDs, and my favorite, where will I find Olga and the farmers son

>>33630209
>porn stars
the industry is effectively dead in the water anyways anon, any human interested enough to watch a mamono get fucked is on a collision to get fucked by one. It's honestly surprising that they haven't been already, usually it's due to their ideal species being geographically distant.

>>33630262
It's more of a hobby community now anyway

FUCK SABBBTATH FLATTIES, THEY AIN'T AS GOOD AS MATURE WOMEN, WHO'S WITH ME?

>>33630209

How about loli porn? Is it banned too?

>>33630136
>Dragon happlily walking down the streets of dragonia with her collar on
>other single dragon-types glancing at her and murmuring "must be nice..."

>>33629911
Given my self inflicted ill repute it'd be something that only contrarian devil bugs or Beelzebubs would cuddle.

>>33629911
I don't think sandworms would even know what a daki is.

>>33630318
Sabbath flatties aren't as good as the actually young lolis.

>>33630400

>>33630512
didnt mean to quote, sorry

>>33630262
If anything the big thing in the porn industry are the porn actors and porn aimed at monsters

>>33630609
then what type of porn would there be, then ?

What are some good pranks you can pull on monsters?

>>33630512
Bogey are love.

>>33630646
faking your own death

>>33630651
bogey is life
>>33630646
cutting your cock off
Strapping yourself to a rcoket

>>33630623
Fake Taxi except the guys don't know beforehand, Cooking Porn where a guy is tied to a big plate and covered in sushi or icing or something edible and gone to town on, and I didn't want to mention it but it's my personal favorite TIPPED

>>33630512
I have a MIGHTY need bros holy shit

Poor little human boy

>>33630704
this is what all monsters should strive to look like.

>>33630704
Huh, I just signed up for a part in the movie with that title. Apparently it's one in a series.

>>33630704
you're big but all that means is there is more of you to love, mi dulce amor

>>33630704
Remind me to get a gym membership when the portals open.

>>33630725
>anon boasts to his children that he was in a movie once
>decides to show it to them
>LOOK LOOK THERE I AM
>they didn't see him
>rewinds, slow mo
>in the backgroud you can faintly see the feet of a guy getting amazon positioned for a few seconds while transitioning
>LOOK KIDS IT'S YOUR MOM TOO
>the kids are mortified while anon is beyond proud

>>33630786
You really want monsters to surround you and call you "little man"?

ya think monsters would love it if you spoke to them in another language like Spanish and call 'em mi dulce amor de chocolate or something like that, my sweet chocolate lover is what I just said

>>33630796
I'm over 6 foot, they're going to be the little ones.

>>33630809
Doing romantic shit with monsters makes them melt

>>33630646
>Sign Greenworm up for Wurm Weekly
>Sign Wurm up for Greenworm Weekly

>>33630847
What if they're 7 foot?

>>33630887
perfect, just what I want

>>33630847
>he doesn’t know about the 8FT Club

>>33630910
>Greenworm confused why digging is all the rage, and why you sould eat at least 20 lbs of lamb a day.
>Wurm doesn't notice a thing, she's just happy there's more food articles and pretty colors from all the butterfly wings.

I was thinking of writing a short story where the protag speaks Spanish, and I wonder would the monsters find him to be the hot Latin lover or just weird for speaking that language and that accent

>>33630911
>>33630938
I'll have to ask them how many times they hit their heads on doors when they're going into a room, or if they even feel it when they do because the blood doesn't go that high up.

>>33626593

>>33630960
>weird for speaking that language and that accent
Where did you want to set the story? I don't speak Spanish at all and I don't know what the regional accents are.

>>33630704
where's ramlethal

>>33631011
I just wanted to take some random esl fag who speakes Spanish and he'll have the TV latin lover Spanish accent

>>33631004
In a contest between a doorframe and a monster, the monster wins.
Any place that wants monster business will quickly learn to have appropriately sized accommodations.

>>33631019
Too short.

>>33630704
Cainis is for Tender cowgirl.

>>33631049
I'll be honest I actually like the idea of a monster girl that is taller than me, but I have no clue how I would even approach one to ask them out.

>>33631121
Don't worry Anon, they'll approach you.

>>33631121
>Anon said a few moments before being kabedoned into a corner

Remember to watch out for Gainz Goblins at the gym.

>>33631121
The beauty of it is that you don't have to be the one to initiate it.

>>33631163
sucks to need to work out in a gym when you can have the weights yourself and work out in your own house

>>33627316
>There's a fag in my state who doesn't like what I like
Better sleep with one eye open tonight, AND I AIN'T TALKING ABOUT YOUR DICK.

Incubus with a his human girlfriend

>https://picrew.me/image_maker/399481

>>33630910
On a similar note
>Publish a lich's research notes under a phantom's name
>Publish a phantom's drama script under a lich's name
>Watch both of them get confused as they get awards for fields they have no interest in

>>33631121
The idea of wrestling my 7-8ft tall wife in our bed is top tier. Am too much of a big boy to do it with normal women.

>>33631214
based and military tier pilled

Probably not going to get done with this tonight but holy shit I'm already in danger aren't I

>>33631314
>Where’s my RAID!?

>>33631337
Adding in Orcs would only cause more problems.

>>33631314
Needs more smug snug bugs

>>33631314
I like where this is going

>>33631417
wish I had a goat to practice profane woodland rituals with

You will marry ze bugs and you will be happy

Face it human men belong to human women

>>33631442
>hey anon me and the girls are going to through a bit of a bonfire out in the woods this weekend, you should come!
Stupid goats always tricking me into being the night's sacrifice.

>>33631442
>"cease your arson infernal demons!"
>"the summoning ritual worked!"

>>33631511
beetles and spiders only, and maybe dragonflys and wasps

>>33631511
I wouldn’t mind a harem of kuudere bug girls.

>>33631511
I'd rather marry the reptiles

>>33631526

Apart from the boymaker, name one (1) benefit

>>33631396
As do I. I'm going to put something funny on Anon's tshirt while he sits on the sofa awaiting his TIPing, any suggestions?

>>33631511
I won't cause I have wurmy and her smarts

>>33631601
Well she’s a Wurm. It’s okay.

>>33631570
Fuck dragonfly girls would be hot
>pretty colors
>athletic
>leglocks for days
>mid-air coitus

>>33631626
dont forget theyre giant bullies to all other bugs at all stages of their life

I love maids.

>>33631660
I see you have chosen the path of the maid, now you must decide which faction you will join, let it be known that you will forever be pit against the other
>Kiki
>Shog

>>33631526
>more and more human men getting seduced away by monsters
>Order gender ratios start to even out, and a surplus of women forms
>Women have to step up their game to keep their man safe from homewrecking hussies of both mundane and infernal varieties
>Succubi who reach these cities are baffled to find most women behaving as they would in a demon realm, even with the absence of mamono mana
>Shirohebis everywhere declare their respect for the human women fighting tooth and nail to keep their man in their clutches

>>33631396
To the buffet?

>>33626593

The only god you need to worship is your wife.

>>33631686
Don't listen to him anon, take the Ocelomaid pill

>>33631393
Is nacho too smug for a TIP film?

>>33631686
Can I get more choices? I would love to have a muscled Salamander battle maid.

>>33631121
>tall monster sees you struggling to reach something
>reaches over you and grabs it
>holds it over your head where you can get it
>takes you
>still won't give you what you were reaching for

>>33631511
You mean I must fug the bug?

>>33631808
>tall monster puts you on the highest shelf after an argument
Being a manlet is suffering

>>33631808
>still won't give you what you were reaching for
Even if I ask nicely?

>>33631752
Monster girls?

>>33631934

"anon warm. wanna get close. I like anon"

>>33631962
I will snuggle the slime.

can one be a shovel knight in MGE land

>>33631962

Drink the slime and stay hydrated

>>33632012
Of course just find a living armor and a cursed shovel and ur good to go

>>33631019
Getting a burger.

>>33631962
marginally related, but how do you hurt a slime? they're essentially physically impervious, would you have to poison one?

>>33632018
¿Quieres?

>>33631121
>>33631808
>browsing some stuff on the lower shelves
>giant oni presses into you from behind as she reaches over you to grab something
>looks down at you and smirks
>"I thought the snacks were in aisle 6"
How can men withstand such cheesy pickup lines? I'd be married after my first trip to the grocery store

I want to adventure with BIG and FERTILE MAIDEN monster girls that all treat me as a valued adventuring companion and save sexy times for when we get back to the taverns.

>>33632040
>"Why is the tapioca purple?"

>>33631721
High level monsters like Ryus have the insight to know males are still males, females are still females and role reversal is gay shit.

>>33632125
Nope, we're all out. Come back tomorrow.

>>33632125
Nope
only got sweets

>>33632125
nope, gettin meself a shovel for "gardening " reasons

>>33632038
You don’t. Everyone thinks slimes are easy first enemies till you realize they’re practically impervious to physical attacks, leaving only elemental attacks which could still screw you over cause even if you got the cool fire sword upgrade or learned a fireball spell that defeats most enemies easily a lava golem will just smug at you. So your best option is to just run away and hope a slime never gets the drop on you

>>33631708

>>33632080
She's in it
That's the single most fulfilling thing to a species that lives to squeeze into things
Nothing turns a slime on more than knowing they're inside of you, or vice versa. Becoming one with as many things as possible is their main goal by design, so obviously having hubby swallow her goo will be pure bliss

>>33631600
BUGGED

>>33631721
Yeah, body worship!

>>33632083
How boring. You're boring. Boring guy.

>>33632125
Nope just got coupons for that now place

>>33631688
>ogre slams book shut
>"like that'd ever happen!"

>>33632176
I've always wanted to experience being dissolved into a slime girl, the thought of her enjoying it as well is pleasing. I guess she could reconfigure you if you weren't down for the fatal aspect, which is a big plus because then you can be dissolved indefinitly.

>>33631952

Touch the cow, do it now*
*ATTENTION: Because we have failed to meet the cow touching quotas, the cows will now be permitted to touch you

>>33632224
I'm with scenes like that the whole way until the whole dying part
Getting sucked into her body totally naked, head only poking out, and vigorously milked dry, then falling asleep comfortably inside the soft squishy slime, sounds like heaven

>>33632251
I come from a long line of matadors so I dare ya vaca lenta slow cow

>>33632251
They'll have to catch me first. I'm wearing red to go faster and my Haku gym teacher has been teaching me secret running techniques.

>>33632286
are you an ork, red ones do not go faster

>>33632224
I think you need to leave.

>>33632251
I don't touch cows, but I do touch boars.

>>33632205
>story about an Ogre who falls in love with the prince she saves and lives happily ever after
Fund it!

>>33632251
10/10 would leglock cow
>>33632320
Stinky pig

>>33632224
Sounds like Shoggoth is for you with her assimilation aspect.

Who would you include in your mystery-solving gang?

>>33632379
Wight
Gremlin
Wurm
Ogre
Hellhound

>>33631485
I want dragon maids

>>33632379
Rata
That’s it

would you like a cursed shovel

>>33632413
>dragon maid
i could not watch that show,
it was the muscial direction
it kept playing the same song for every scene over and over,
i could not stand it.

>>33632476
mundane curses are my favorite

>>33632476
I already have a regular one and I don't see myself dual wielding shovels anytime soon, I'll pass.

>>33626805
I want to mash her massive brown tits while I fuck her butt. I want to choke on the seething blasts of pink smoke spewing from her lips and then glue her insides shut with asthmatic fervor as her tentacles pant into my ears, lick my face, and nibble my neck. They are easily top tier in my opinion. Good waifu.

>>33632379
Hellhound
Cheshire
Lich
Valkyrie

Alright gang let's split up and look for clues

>>33626805
I just want a fuckin' Manticore.

>>33632379
Salamander
Lich
Wight
Wonderworm
Bunyip

>>33626805
I'd adopt one.

>>33626805
Jabber? I hardly know her!

>>33632379
>A shy, nerdy Danuki
>Prom Queen Pharaoh
>Delinquent Ogre muscle
And then there’s Dense Anon his dog.

cursed onahole , dicuss

>>33632637
I already have one.

>>33626593

>>33632498
don't even know what you are talking about anon

>>33632754
it's one of them animes. He didn't know the yugioh part.

>>33632603
>adopted wock daughteru
I see you like to live dangerously.

>>33632041
>slaps her ass
>"well I didn't know the prime cuts were on sale today"
>meanwhile pic related
Mamonogers just can't catch a break these days

>>33632828
>Mamonogers just can't catch a break these days
Especially when I’m the one messing with them!

>Marry a cat!
No thanks, I like my privates un-shredded.

>>33632379
Let's split up gang!
>The show is about how all the monsters try to get anon, but the shenanigans always messes up their plans and causes the mystery to reveal itself to anon

what cursed item would you waifu?

>>33632897
female paladin+cursed broom

>>33632828
Any time a guy uses a cheesy pickup line on a monster, the cheshire cashier teleports in to stick a wet floor sign between her legs.

>>33632919
But what if I use the cheesy pickup line on the cheshire?

>>33632824
I might make it a day before she cracks me.

>>33632176
Plenty of slime girls would be into the idea of breast feeding you or slime or giving it to you mouth to mouth

>>33632859
I've got a manticore story I'm going to write about this very topic once I'm finished with my current project.

>>33632985
>cheesy pickup.wav
>"Uhm, cheesed to meet you?" she responds before cracking up and dragging you to the ladies' restroom
>CLEANING IN PROGRESS SIGN
>another sign underneath it
>THE PIPE CLEANING OF A LIFETIME BABY ;)

>>33633099
We'll watch your career with great interest.

name a better combo than living armor and cursed weapon for adventuring and fighting, I'll wait

>>33632985
She gets flustered and douses you with spray cheese before calling you an idiot and teleporting away. Don't worry, she does it because she's too nervous and can't think of a good retort

>>33633192
Ushi-oni and another Ushi-oni

>>33633099
are manticores cats?

>>33633192
Bicorn and a will o wisp

>>33633192
living armor with a cursed weapon, and a second living armor with a cursed weapon

>>33633192
Demon and creeping coin. Diplomacy route has never been easier.

Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.

Instead, remember to compliment golems on the interesting gem material they may be made of.
Its like telling a girl she has a cute bow, except the bow is a precious mineral shaped like a flower.