/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Is this a vision of what will be, or what may be, only?

I shit directly into my mouth so I don't have to get up for food.

How many of you NEETs have gotten to the point that you just expired?

Once you start it's hard to stop. Breathing is a thing of the past for me now.

I am very intrigued

Just what will the next step be?

Shitting your pants is for low levels and retards. If you find yourself to lazy to pull down your pants to shit on the floor, just stop wearing pants.

in before diapered anon story reposts
...
..
.

I sincerely hope you're all joking.

>>3111496
Welcome to /jp/ we are always serious.

>>3111496
We're not.

you losers are still using a mouse? with a mouthpiece cursor controller, you just move your tongue around on your palate to move the cursor. it's waaay more accurate and natural, plus you can right/left click by clicking your teeth together. losers. who the fuck needs limbs, not me ;_;

I have reached the point where I train my cells to eat my shit, completely eliminating wastes.

No, but me and my boyfriend cum into each others' mouths few times a day, no need to clean up floors, clothes etc.

Pissing and shitting on the floor is for normalfags. True NEETs piss and shit their pants.

You still wear pants? Fucking casual NEETs.

I need a laptop so I can lay in bed while browsing /jp/.

Pissing and shitting in inappropriate places are for normalfags. Enjoy your alcohol and recreational drugs that are causing you to lose control of your bowels along with your friends.

actually, this looks extremely uncomfortable, why would you go through the effort of holding your head with your hand if you lie down anyway?
also she must have extremely flexible arms, which is illogical for someone that pretends to be so lazy?

>>3111531
I can lay down exactly like her and I don't think I'm that flexible.

What does it feel like to sit on your own shit?

>>3111531
It's not difficult, even without a pillow.

Stop stealing my schitck, OP.

I make the floor pissing threads.

rude sage

I eat my own shit because I'm too lazy to go to the kitchen.

>>3111540
feels good man....squishy

I just carved a hole out in the middle of my chair and put a bucket under it. This also really helps when it's time to raid the dragon in MMOs; I could never fit the poop in my sock correctly and just made a mess.

Oh, brother. You guys haven't even scratched the surface.

I hold my shit in until it's forced up my esophagus so I can spit it into the bowl on my desk, which I eat when I get hungry. I simply piss into my mouth when I'm thirsty.

The only problem is that things get messy when I need to piss and shit at the same time.

MOM

BATHROOM

>>3111563
Thanks, I almost vomited.

You guys are fucking lazy faggots and subhumans. ONLY NORMAL FAGS GO TO THE BATHROOM, WE'RE SO HARDCORE. XDD

If you can't even get up to go to the fucking toilet that's probably right next to your room then please kill yourself.

on the floor

>>3111571
But it's all the way downstairs, and people are usually near it since it's by the kitchen. I would have to walk past people.

>>3111571
How did you know my toilet is right next to my room?

You're either psychic or a civil engineer.

>>3111581
>I would have to walk past people.
Oh big deal. Your life is so hard right? Just go to the damn toilet.

>>3111571
u mad?

>>3111587
But they might look at me or say something.

>>3111571
B-b-but pissing in a bottle is nice and not fucked up at all ;_; I even empty my bottles once or twice every day.

>>3111587

Why bother wasting time AND interacting with others when you could just shit yourself here and now.

>>3111587
You know, there are more than billion people who have to live without a toilet. All of them have computers and access to internet, though.

>>3111563

I can't remember when I last laughed like this. You've brightened one curmudgeon's evening quite a bit.

>>3111590

wear headphones en route to the bathroom. they probably won't say anything, and if they do, you won't hear them.

>>3111592
But you don't have to interact with anyone when you go to the bathroom. Why bother sitting in your own shit and piss when you can simply just walk to the bathroom and dump all your shit and piss there cleanly and be done with it?

>>3111592
Exactly. Instead of saying hi to people I can just shit on the floor, in a bucket, or out the window instead.

>>3111594
It's true for me, I get by fine, though. I piss in bottles and take in shits in a nearby supermarket, I also shower 3 times a week.
I wonder what would NEET's do without a water-system, probably die of dehydration or something.

>>3111602
>or out the window instead.

... You shit out the window?

>>3111581
There should be a master bathroom upstairs. It's should be connected to the master bedroom. Good luck finding it.

>>3111602
But you don't HAVE to say hi to people, you can just shit in the toilet and never smell/see it again.

>>3111606
I don't think I've ever heard this question asked of anyone.

Ever.

>>3111601

I cannot control what other people will do. I know that a random family member will at least say hi while I'm out of my room. You just look like an ignorant asshole if you ignore them so it's better to avoid them completely.

>>3111611

>you can just shit in the toilet and never smell/see it again.

But that takes the fun out of it. Nothing beats the feel of sitting in your own warm shit while occasionally washing it over with some piss.

>>3111619

Feeling*

I did it once. I couldn't handle the smell when I tried to fap.

>>3111619
>Nothing beats the feel of sitting in your own warm shit while occasionally washing it over with some piss.

Sometimes when I hold my shit in, my farts get really warm and smelly and hurt my ass when it comes out. Later when I shit my pants it's all runny and gooshy. Why does this happen?

>>3111630
Okay, what the fuck /jp/.

>>3111563
Is it just me or has this lowly NEET finally solved the problem of world hunger?

It's flawless.

I love you /jp/, I'm laughing so hard that tears are coming out of my eyes.

These threads are the only reason I come to this shithole anymore.

Jesus Christ, i love Metathreads.

Best thread

I hope I'm not the only one here that uses diarrhea as lube for fapping.

Reported

This thread:
Lol NEET R LEGOON XD

Back when I dropped out at about 15 and was into MMOs, I'd just piss into bottles and shit into socks. Now I'm sitting in my own shit and piss almost every waking hour.

Does anybody get little pieces of shit stuck in their ass hairs? I can't get them out.

Today I felt like experimenting a bit. After shitting on the floor as usual, instead of letting it to dry or cleaning it up, a perverted thought flashed through my mind. I found that puddle of crap amazingly arousing. Even though I fapped to my Rika earlier today, I got a boner.
I don't have any fleshlights, but I found an empty plastic Nestea bottle. You know, those ones have a double-sized opening, instead of the standard coke bottles. It was almost a perfect fit for my penis and I instantly knew what to do.
I filled the bottle with my fresh crap. It was a perfect piece of shit, not too hard but not too liquid either. It's as if God had created it just for me, for that unforgivable moment. Its hardness was roughly that of common toothpaste.
I was reluctant for a bit, but it's not like I could sink any lower than a floor-shitting NEET. I thrust in my cock. It felt so awesome. Soft and warm, it was so close to a real woman. I kept on going and going and had the best orgasm in my entire life.
I know it sounds disgusting, but this is probably even better than the real thing(or, at least I guess, being a virgin), you guys must try it.

You guy's say this is disgusting, but damn you're enjoying yourselves posting in this thread.

Also, we /jp/ we be evolvin'

>>3111650
>>3111652
u mad?

>>3111657
Poo nuggets, I hate them

>>3111660
>I filled the bottle with my fresh crap. It was a perfect piece of shit, not too hard but not too liquid either. It's as if God had created it just for me, for that unforgivable moment. Its hardness was roughly that of common toothpaste.
>I was reluctant for a bit, but it's not like I could sink any lower than a floor-shitting NEET. I thrust in my cock. It felt so awesome. Soft and warm, it was so close to a real woman. I kept on going and going and had the best orgasm in my entire life.

>How many of you NEETs have gotten to the point that you just shit your pants now?
>67 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>3111660
>Soft and warm, it was so close to a real woman.

Fucking normalfag.

>>3111650
Stop sucking Janitor-kun's shit covered diaper balls.

THERE'S SHIT AND PISS AND CUM ALL OVER THE FLOOR

I cum all over my clothing because it makes me feel like a dirty slut.

>>3111685
Get out, Gottfried.

>>3111657
Shave ass hair

>>3111652
Not really. Its just a bunch of losers telling each other that there is nothing wrong with them..

I just want confirmation that you guys are all just kidding.

>>3111723
I sure hope so. Pissing on the floor is as far as I go.

>>3111723
In all honesty we are kidding about most of this. At most we just piss on the floor/in bottles most of the time. I'm not gonna claim there's no ground hogging or poop stains though.

>>3111723
>expecting a simple, honest answer on 4chan

>>3111715
>losers
>NEETs
There's a difference?

>>3111738
Yeah..You can be a loser without being a NEET and you can be a NEET without being a loser.

>>3111751
You pretty much have to have a job to be successful in society, though. Likewise, you need to have some standing in society before you can get a job.

>>3111723
fuck off.
REAL /jp/ lurker drink their own piss and eat their own shit for nutrient.

this is the best thread on /jp/, ever

i love you guys so much. even if you hate me.

although, tbh, nothing beats actually sitting on the toilet. the lid almost spreads my asscheeks for me. its like the toilet wants my poop. i had to feed the toilet.

dont you floor-shitters feel bad for the toilet? you're making it useless :(

>>3111767
Shit has no nutritional value and urine only does if you drank more water than your body can use.

>>3111772

correction. i meant "in the toilet".

>>3111774
Your quite wrong. The average western shit has more nutrition than a chibi nigger gets in a week.

>>3111778
It's already digested. Unless you ate a lot of corn or something.

What the fuck.

>>3111751
>Yeah..You can be a loser without being a NEET and you can't be a NEET without being a loser.
Fixed.

>>3111772
/r/ images of toilet-chan eating shit.

>>3111784
Already digested doesn't mean there's nothing in there the body can use. If anything it might be easier to eat!

>>3111800
It would lose any nutrients it may have had the second time, so I don't see how it's relevant.

>>3111793
do want

>>3111793

ill do it tomorrow or something. i dont have the energy to mspaint anything

>>3111774
The salt content alone of the amount of piss you would have to be drinking will kill you.

>>3111784
Even still it doesn't have nourishment that the body can make any real use of. Eating enough of it to matter will have a very higher likelihood of causing you to become extremely sick and might even kill you.

Many animals eat their food and regurgitate it for their young. I don't see the difference other than some added bile.

>>3111800
You are thinking about regurgitated food. That's food that has only been partially digested.

>>3111809
when it passes through the intestines it has even more nutrients pulled out of it. It also tends to pick up some nasty bacteria and sometimes parasites along the way.

Regurgitation on the other hand has only barely been digested, and tends to still have most if not all of its nutrients intact.

Bitches don't know about my Cophrophagia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophagia
>Coprophagia is the consumption of feces, from the Greek κόπρος copros ("feces") and φαγεῖν phagein ("to eat"). Many animal species practice coprophagia as a matter of course; other species do not normally consume feces but may do so under unusual conditions.

Cophrophagia is so fucking cash
>In certain cultures, it was common for poor families to collect horse feces to feed their pigs.

>101 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

I enjoy sticking long, thin objects into my urethra.

How about you, /jp/?

>>3111774
Bullshit.
Havent you heard before how shit make better fertilizer compare to artifical fertilizer?

All these normal fags who say you can't eat shit are really pissing me off.

>>3111885
Different things need different nutrients. Shit has a fair amount of nice things for plants and very small things (like beetles and other insects), but for larger animals it doesn't have enough to be considered a reasonable food source.

>>3111877

This just made me squirm.

Shitting/pissing on the floor actually has utility. What the fuck does this do for you??? GRAAAAAAAH NOW I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT CATHETERS, FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>3111887
Fine, eat your own shit, get yourself sick. Have lots of NEET fun doing so. Or you can fucking read up on why you shouldn't eat shit.

>>3111885
Night soil?
More like NEET soil.

>>3111887
You might say they are full of shit. You should try eating them.

I just wear diapers

Don't call the bourgeoisie shit. You can feed shit to a dog, and use dog shit to fertilise fields. --Mao Tse Tung.

brb, buying a dog.

I hate these threads.

While we are on the topic of NEETdom. Got any tips for falling asleep fast naturally? I am pretty bad at that I noticed.

>>3112045
Just tire yourself until the breaking point.

I tape a water bottle to my penis, that way I can pee without getting up, and jack off without cleaning up.

>>3112045
Fap till you sleep.
Conversely just play VN till you sleep.
Reading wall of text make your eye blurry and make you tired fast.

>>3112017
Hey diapered Anon how can I contact you?

>>3112072
In case you wanted to know why, I'm getting a pay check soon
I want to ask some questions please!

>>3112072
/jp/ is a good place.

Or, check the email field.

>119 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

/jp/ - Defecation/General

>>3112080
Hello, Throwaway 4chan.

>>3111731
>>3111723
Dont worry. I am pretty sure we are just kidding. I know I am. I dont know why some faggots are angry and think that we are serious.

So when did /jp/ turn into /b/?

>>3112122
Almost a year ago.

I used to do all this this but then I realized that if I just stop eating and drinking completely I won't have to shit/piss at all and won't have to leave my computer to get food.

So, I've gone without food/water for 3 days now. Sure I'm hungry and thirsty as fuck, but hopefully my body will get used to it soon.

Pissing yourself is not cool.
Shitting yourself is not cool.
Generally, it's not cool to be in room that reeks shit.
I wouldn't be able to sleep.

>>3112126
I think your body needs a minimum amount of food/water supply though (to regenerate/etc.).

You should try polyphasic eating. By eating smaller portions more often your body can consume the nutrients more efficiently with less waste production. I'd sugest to go with 6 meals a day for now.

>>3112150
That's too much. It's pointless to eat less than, say, a sandwich per meal, and six sandwiches per day is way more than what an average NEET needs.

>>3112169
There is a point in it as long as it's about as much as a full bite. You can easily go into the rapid teeth movement phase with that much.

>>3112169
1 sandwich per day is enough.
If you drink water while you eat, it slows down digestion.

You guys are gross.

>>3112211
Keine isn't gross.

>>3112182
>rapid teeth movement phase
what?