/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I'll tell you when you're older.

im 36 and what is this

>>3092404
I pity you sir

>>3092417
you wish you had mi innocense.

that's a jap fancy soy sauce bottle, right?

>>3092430
and you wish you knew what the lotion is for

>>3092404

I honestly don't know what lotion is either and I don't really care. I heard it makes ass fucking easier or something.

>>3092438
no i dont, i was just curious.

What's so bad about lotion?
You put it on your skin and it makes it soft and pure.
Not to mention it blocks out harmful UV rays.

>>3092465
Thanks.

>>3092313
IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN
OR ELSE IT GETS DANMAKU AGAIN

>>3092313
You found out...
>>3092465
Poetry?

>>3092479
Glad I'm not on /a/.

I use icy hot.

I'm 20 and what is this

>>3092528
I use bengay.

>>3092557
ow

>>3092545
Well you are better than >>3092404 this guy.

I'm 20 and what is this

>>3092511
My writing style?
It's not poetry.
Don't be so silly.

>>3092572
It's lotion.

>>3092577
That poem just now was a piece of shit. Try harder.

>>3092598
When I said that I was being serious.
My writing style isn't poetry.
Where are you [spoilers]bakas[/spoilers] even getting the idea?

>>3092627
You start the next
line in some odd
way that makes it
seem like you're
trying to do something.

>>3092313

It's a USB line. I'll show you later.

>>3092627
pssst no "s" at spoiler

Do women find our innocence cute or just pathetic?

What is sex, /jp/?

because i love you guys so much, I'll let you in on the secret to the perfect orgasm.

green tea shampoo.

the active ingrediant in the shampoo made to calm an ichy scalp also has a icy, numb feeling on bare skin, a single drop at the base of the foreskin will give you an overwhelming tingling feeling.

>>3092823
brb showering.

>>3092823
What brand?

>>3092783
It's when you shove kitchen condiments up your ass and enjoy it.

>>3092828
>>3092834
Enjoy your trip to the doctor.

oh and another trick. a niggerrigged fleshlight.

find one of those 1x1 foot ultra absorbent shimmies that swimmers use (untested with shamwow). wet and ring out, then fold into fourths and roll up like a sushi roll.

then take a bottle of conditioner and fill the center of the roll, conditioner works AMAZINGLY because it blocks all friction and heat and doesn't get absorbed into the towell.

the result is a slippery tight, almost gelatin like mass.

>>3092823
Try bengay, Boof.

>>3092907
I really don't like the idea of conditioner up my urethra, thank you very much.

>>3092935
Conditioner doesn't burn.

However, on the other hand, if you use shampoo... well, good luck to you then.

>>3092931
it only took twice to find out that was a bad idea.

>>3092935
urethras dont work that way bro.

>>3092958
shampoo works fine too, but it washes away/mysteriously vanishes over time, unlike conditioner

>>3092823
The one time I fapped with shampoo it dried the shit out of the skin on my penis. A week of hard, cracked skin was enough to convince me never to try it again. It also made me very wary of alternative lubrication in general.

>>3093085
the same thing happended to me, I thought my cock was going to fall off or something.

Avatar using fags are fagging /jp/.

>>3093275
Yeah, it scared the shit out of me.

>>3093085
>>3093275

What kind of weird shampoo do you use? Christ...

Oh /jp/ where else could I possibly get such solid advice on beating my meat than from you experts?

>>3093920
ever pull a Houdini?

when you fap so fast your hands vanish.

Hai guise.

>>3093948
wait, what if you mixed them together?

>>3093085
>>3093275
Jesus Christ, are you guys fucking stupid?
If you use shampoo, you're supposed to wash it off afterwards.

>>3093973
I'm pretty sure I did. There's still plenty of time for it to soak in while you're fapping.