/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Today I finally washed my carpet.

But then I pissed on it again.

Oh, /jp/.

Pissing on the walls is much better

I think I'd rather have the bird threads back.

Aim for the sky

Piss on the Ceiling

Anybody can piss on the floor, but how about you try shitting on the ceiling.

>>3076486
Who is this adorable child?

when i was like 4, i used to piss in the corner behind the toilet
i warped the hell out of that fucking linoleum tile

>>3076489
i tried doing "the tubgirl" the other day, it was very nice

>>3076496
When I was about 6 I used to piss on the floor in the garage until my dad found out and spanked me. Now I live on my own and I can piss on the floor as much as I want.

Anon should wear diapers.

>>3076517
But you have to pay rent, food, and whatnot. Is it really worth it? Or are you a hobbo who pisses on other people's floors?

mom always got mad at me when i pissed in the shower

Now we just need a bot to automate the creation of these piss threads.

>>3076492
Kururu, musical adventure

>>3076529
My parents send me money every month.

>>3076546
And? If you lived with your parents, you wouldn't have to pay separate rent, food, etc, and your parents wouldn't want to kill you as much.

I always thought these thread were more about being a NEET than actually pissing on the floor.

>>3076531
how did she know you were pissing in the shower?

>>3076577
because i didnt have the shower running while/after pissing. I just left it there

So you guys were always floor pissers?

>>3076598
sounds like you got what you deserved

Reported
These threads are stupid

>>3076643
Toilet pisser spotted.

Why do you normalfags even come here?

>>3076640
i was little, wtf did you expect.

>>3076647
Back in the day normalfag meant another thing.
I'm not a normalg, but I'm not also a retarded like you who don't know how to use the toilet.

Only normalfags use the toilet; if you don't piss on the floor, you need to get out of /jp/.

One of my oldest memories of when I was a kid was me shitting on the floor. I was 3 or 4, but I remember perfectly the feeling of release just before reaching the toilets, and then looking at my shit from above.

Pissing in toilets is pig disgusting.

>>3076669
>I'm not also a retarded like you

irony. Get out you ignorant, toilet using normalfaggot.

I'm a floor pisser myself, but I think you people need to stop telling toilet users to get out. They are just used to using toilets, it's not their fault.

Today I felt like experimenting a bit. After shitting on the floor as usual, instead of letting it to dry or cleaning it up, a perverted thought flashed through my mind. I found that puddle of crap amazingly arousing. Even though I fapped to my Rika earlier today, I got a boner.
I don't have any fleshlights, but I found an empty plastic Nestea bottle. You know, those ones have a double-sized opening, instead of the standard coke bottles. It was almost a perfect fit for my penis and I instantly knew what to do.
I filled the bottle with my fresh crap. It was a perfect piece of shit, not too hard but not too liquid either. It's as if God had created it just for me, for that unforgivable moment. Its hardness was roughly that of common toothpaste.
I was reluctant for a bit, but it's not like I could sink any lower than a floor-shitting NEET. I thrust in my cock. It felt so awesome. Soft and warm, it was so close to a real woman. I kept on going and going and had the best orgasm in my entire life.
I know it sounds disgusting, but this is probably even better than the real thing(or, at least I guess, being a virgin), you guys must try it.

I'm so glad that some random guy - or bot - keeps making these threads, this is the only place on Earth where I can still feel normal and share my thoughts with you.

>>3076760
( ・-・)

I tired pissing in the toilet for the first time just now.
Shit was so cash, you guys should try it.

>>3076760

>>3076728
It is their fault. True, floor pissing NEETs like us attempt to guide them towards the glorious ways of the /jp/ anon, but their adherence to hollow, normalfag social mores hinders them from ever making progress.

Unless they're willing to either shut up or change their ways, they have no place here; they should go back to /r9gay/, /b/ or some other terrible board for losers with a job and friends.

>>3076760
>so close to a real woman

... how would you know?

>>3076760
This is going too far.

>>3076760
lol

>>3076760
This is awesome.

THIS

http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/S3036423#p3036701_1

>>3076760
Enjoy your urinary tract infection.

http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/S3036423#p3036701_1

Back in the days /jp/ was a good board.

>>3076760
Typical Rika fan.

i get a thrill out of pissing in the sink

>>3076871
/jp/ was never good; get out, you butthurt toilet user

Im still not hardocre enough for that. I use bottles for my pissing needs.
If I would actually piss on the floor, my parents would get mad at me and they might not give me money for video games ;_;

>>3076873
Does that mean I'm an atypical Rika fan?

>>3076912
Do you shit on the floor?

>>3076916
I'm afraid not.

>>3076923
How can you say you love her when you can't even shit on her floor?

>>3076929
But her house is in Japan.

The fact that this is currently the best thread on /jp/ is quite sad.

>>3076760

>>3076970

I awoke in a daze, the pain in my gut was like a burning knife, the last thing i ever felt. As i rolled out of bed i look at the clock, the bright red numbers stun my eyes as i try to adjust to the darkness. i slowly begin my adventure to the bathroom, stumbling to the door i place a cold trembling hand on the bronze knob, a foolish idea.

the door creeks open, and before me a blackness no man could ever adjust to, before me stood the shadow of a man, a man i have seen before once. "Don't fight it." says the shadow, sudenly my chest is on fire, two long black pillers erupt between my ribs. as i stood in a coma like state the man smiles.

I return to my slumber.

it's like im really in Gurochans discussion board

and you people claim to be better then /a/

All over the floor.

All over the toilet.

Ah, my daily floor pissing thread. Where would I be without you?

>>3077020
What if someone else wants to use it afterwards?

I kinda miss the bird though

>>3077037
He can use the floor.

>>3077037
1. Put toilet paper on the toilet seat
2. ??????
3. Shit without any worries!

Are we seriously still discussing this?

when i have to take a shit, i LOVE holding it in as long as possible, it feels so good. i dont know why. been doing this since i was maybe 6 or 7.

>>3077055
That's bad for your intestine.

>>3077055
I used to do that when I was a kid. I ended up shitting my pants once by accident.

Now I feel like telling my story too. It's a sad one. First, a few words about me. I rent a small apartment from the money my parents send me every month. They think I'm still attending University. Truth is, I dropped out last semester. I sank into depression then and became a NEET, including the shitting on floor part. I never left my home even before that besides attending school, so it was only a tiny step to become a full hikki.

Last Friday my mom visited me. This has never happened before in the last 3 years, as I live pretty far from my hometown and she's very busy with work. She wanted to see her dear child, her pride who attends Uni. No one in my family has a degree, so she always boasted about me to her girlfriends. Or so she said.

So, she entered my room. She had a key, and it was supposed to be a surprise. I guess she was more surprised than I was when she saw me lying in my bed, fapping to some random loli doujin. Next to my bed were several piles of shit. Also, the whole room stinks of piss.

Long story short, my mom ran away without a word. We haven't talked since then, she doesn't pick up her phone. I guess this is the end of my NEET carrier, as I highly doubt I can expect another month's cash.

>>3077071
Cool story, bro.

Are you proud of yourself?

>>3077055
>>3077065
>>3077071

>>3077055
here

i'm doing it right now. i feel so much pleasure

The pleasure of being shat inside!

I used to come home everyday from middle school and use my computer even though I really had to take a shit. I could feel it coming out, but even then I would do my best not to let it all out. ...But then I noticed little pieces of shit were on the floor around my room and in the hallway to the bathroom, I must have squeezed off the tips of my shit by accident and they were falling out of my shorts. The last straw came when one of these little shits ended up in my sheets and my mother found it smeared on them. I blamed the cat and I think my mother believed me. Nowadays when I feel a shit coming on I go straight to the toilet.

>>3077071
Wow, dude.

>>3077112

Oh, for fuck's sake. I'm trying to eat here.

>>3077127
Then why are you reading a floor pissing/shitting thread?

>>3077071
I don't know what I would do if my mom saw me like that.

All over the floor.

Why is /jp/ so shitty?

My ass bled this morning.
There was something pointy in the shit.

>>3077143
My ass bled a few days ago because I tried fingering it.

I don't know why, but I just love these threads.

You floor shitters are disgusting. There is a FAR more civilized solution for your lazy asses. Diapers. I've been wearing them for a bit more than a year now and they are amazing. I wake up in the morning (yeah right, roughly at 5 PM), sit in front of my computer and don't have to stand up until I go to sleep.
It takes about 2 minutes to clean the shit smeared across my ass when taking off the diaper, which is far less wasted time than going to the toilet 2-3 times a day.
It's not expensive either. Just because it says "disposable" on the box you don't have to throw it away. I'm still using the same box of diapers that I first bought. I just toss the used one into the sink which is filled with water and detergents and leave it in that while I'm sleeping. It cleans itself by the morning.
Sure, after a few months they become a bit brown and yellowish, but it's not like your ass has eyes.

>>3077187
Fuck you and your diapers, you big baby.

>>3077172
Stop trying to force yourself, take it easy.

These are the best threads on /jp/

>>3077187
>filled with water and detergents
As if the risk of getting a rash from dried shit on your ass wasn't great enough!

I pray to god that people are just trolling in this thread and these stories are not true

>>3077235
welcome to /jp/

>>3077235
Me too anon, me too.

>>3077235
>>3077112 here
This really happened and I also had to sneak around picking up the shits when people were walking around the house. I am very fortunate no noticed them, although some had even been stepped on.

this thread

test

>>3077255
If you can't handle the shit get off the floor.

>>3077264
Good one, bro.

ALL YOU NIGGAS ARE SMALL TIME

JUST THIS MORNING I CALLED THE CITY WATER AND SEWER DEPARTMENT AND TOLD THEM TO DUMP A SEPTIC TANKLOAD INTO MY HOME

COMPLETELY FUCKING FILLED IT WITH SHIT, EVERY ROOM FLOOR TO CEILING

AND I LIKED THAT BECAUSE I'M A TRUE FREAK NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU POSERS

>>3077250
happened to me in highschool.

>>3077294
I did that when i was like 13

>>3077298
（　≖‿≖）

>>3077304
（≖‿≖ ）

>>3077294
nothing but women and children!

Sometimes I wish I never created this shitty meme, but then I read stories like >>3076760 and realize I did the right thing.

Now, something serious: are there still people here who don't cum in their boxers? I forgot the use of tissues a long time ago. When you fap around 20 times a day it's a fucking pain to use tissues. So I just cum into my boxers. I change them every day, though.

>>3077328
I do the same. Though don't always change them every day.

>>3077328
I literally do this

>>3076760
Holy Fucking Shit

/jp/ - fighting the System, one ml of urine at a time.

Although I'm not a NEET, sometimes I shit on the floor. Let me explain.

I live in a small apartment with my parents and my little brother. We only have two rooms, so mom and dad lives in one of them and me and my little brother in the other one.
This would be all fine, except he's retarded. He can't even speak, does stupid things and is generally a pain in the ass. Two years ago he poured a full cup of water on my laptop. Not accidentally, as he was laughing and looking at me while he was doing it. I don't know if he knew what he was doing, but I never forgave it. I lost 10 years of shit that I've been collecting because the hard drive died. Rare weeaboo music, games, etc.
Of course, I couldn't directly punish him because my parents protect him always. I waited a month so it's not too obvious then I started my little revenge.
I shat to random places of my house and acted innocently. Of course, everyone blamed my little brother as I wouldn't do something like this. This was also a revenge on my parents for ignoring all the pain that little bastard is causing me and protecting him all the time.
Ever since then, I've been taking dumps to random places of the house every few days. On the top of mom's dad, on top a television to make it short out, even did tubgirl and repainted the ceiling.
It only took a month for my parents to break and start to beat up my little brother. Now they yell at him all the time, shut him into the toilet for days as punishment, beat him and all that. Finally I'm happy and my room is now only mine and mine only.

>>3077333

>>3077328
Why don't you just go die.

>>3077328
>>3077333
Your dicks don't get glued at the boxer?

>>3077339
>on the top of mom's dad
wat?

>>3077328
I don't physically masturbate any more, I just fire off rounds in my boxers while I play my eroge.

>>3077341

>>3077328
I have a pile of used towels next to me, I use those to clean my hands.

>>3077345
What? You never took a shit on your grandpa? Freak.

>>3077328
I change my underwear multiple times a day because I always have to piss after I jerked off, and for some reason all the urine that didn't come out when I was in the bathroom leaks out when I sit down in my chair.

>>3077339
>>On the top of mom's dad
>>On the top of mom's bed
Sorry for the typo, was typing extra fast because I'm a bit paranoid that they find out that I've been doing it all the time.

>>3077345
I guess he took a dump on his grandpa.

>>3077345
Yes, he shits on his grandfather.

>>3077346

You are a god among men, teach me how

>>3077348

>this entire thread

>>3077355
Mike is that you?

>Alicia Melchiott !ALICia.JPo

I have now posted this picture twice on 4chan. Both today.

>>3077323
>Sometimes I wish I never created this shitty meme

You didn't create a meme, you just helped us realize that there are other floor pissers/shitters in this world, and for that I thank you. Before /jp/ I thought I was the only person who pissed on the floor. ;_;

>>3077355
So you don't shit on grandpa? Get out of /jp/, normalfag.

So /jp/, how will you deal with the upcoming Father's Day? Is your father disappoint beyond repair?

>>3077384
I don't have a father

>>3077383
fuck, I thought I already filtered you.

>>3077339
This is fucking comedy gold.

>>3077384
I'm going to take a shit on his floor

>>3077328
What's wrong with you? Why can't you just eat your cum? It's bitter, but you will get used to the taste after a few times.

After fapping I don't even have to wash my hands, because I lick everything off.