/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>waifu's
That's not how apostrophes work. Stop that.

>>3029551

I have never been informed on the proper use of the epithet, my apologies.

Do I have to wipe her twat and spoon feed her what the fuck

btw cool story bro

My waifu becomes a retarded baby?

>>3029563
Now you have. Don't do it again.

stop bringing reality into the mix, this isn't the place for that.

>You can't become involved with anyone else or she will grow jealous.
I guess those so-called "yandere" fans must be quite pleased with this.

>>3029577
>>3029571
>>3029571
>>3029568
>>3029568

These aren't even the full list of things you'd have to do if you gained a spouse.

I haven't mentioned signing her up for Health Insurance yet(what if she gets sick?), getting her some sort of employment, making her a citizen of whatever nationality you are, etc etc.

Having a waifu in reality might not be as enjoyable as you all make it out to be. But then again, it might be a valuable learning experience for others.

>>3029542
Most touhous eat humans, so they can just hunt.

>>3029542
My wife is Roll. Being a highly advanced gynoid, she is pretty much fine by herself. She also is okay with wearing the same outfit everyday, since she does not sweat or shed skin.

>>3029588

That's another thing. If you have a maneater like Medusa, you'll have to think about when she goes to eat. Can't have body parts all over the house, you'll be arrested. Bloody clothes are right out.

Beatrice had to be taken to the hospital, the bill is $5,000 dollars.

Stuff like this racks up.

>>3029542
I have house so theres enough rooms beds and everything, i never go outside so other girls wont be a problem i hardly have any male friends let alone female ones. Since I'm always alone I clean cook and do everything in my house. My mother is sick so i'm the head of the house. I would probably never send her away, i'd always prefer sex with her to fapping, and being social with her would hardly be a problem.

So are there two Arc tripfags now or just one posing as two?

>>3029542
This is not a bad thing. Who better to make me a man capable of taking care and protecting her than the person I love?

If beatrice should materialize in front of me I'm pretty sure after a couple decades, hundreds of years even I'll man the fuck up after dying for a shit fuck of time.

>>3029596
F/SN Medusa is vampire like.
Drinking blood right away leaves much less evidence.

>>3029602
See, this is why we need Obama's Health Care plan to go through.

it wouldn't be legal at all, but fuck that, a deranged sadistic killer with dissociative identity disorder as a partner would be awesome.

>>3029608

Dunno, but they're both trolls. Just treat them as one.

I'm wealthy enough to have those taken care of without any problems.
She won't even have to get used to living in a new setting, I live in a mansion too.

>waifu's
>tl;dr
Genki story, aniki.

>>3029625
>>3029625

If you get your waifu pregnant, you'll need to spend money on clinic visits, hospital visits, doctors, and other such things as well.

in b4 LOOK AT THAT BAKA

>>3029654
Actually, don't look. Don't even acknowledge the presence of that image.

You may want to invest in contraceptives, if you don't have the means to raise a family.

!ARCIkc4cG6 into the tripcode window
If everyone does this, he will be gone

>>3029596
She only drinks blood.
At that only a small amount, nothing fatal.

>>3029680
I see you just discovered filters.
Those are useless, they clutter the page.
Only weak men cannot stand mild annoyances.

>>3029680
I would never block Arc. It's funny there's so many newfriends who aren't familiar with Arc.

> My waifu becomes a retarded baby?
No, your waifu becomes a normal female. Easy to get the two confused though.

your waifu would ditch you in a heartbeat

>>3029708
I beg to differ, the difference is inexistant.

>>3029680
You shouldn't block Arc, he's quite funny.
The only tripfags you should instantly block are Taiko and Gogeta.

>>3029715
It's really best to just block all tripfags.
As funny as ARC can be, there's no way putting up with all of them is worth it.

>>3029723

>block all tripfags
>Karesh !kw3EPy0aUY

Oh, you.

>>3029708

Let's not forget that she, like any other person, will want trinkets, baubles, and toys.

Chances are the first thing you'll have to get used to is taking her out to the mall or the markets to shop.

>>3029746
Your theories seem to based around the idea that the first thing I do won't be taking her down into the basement and tying her up.

>>3029715
>Taiko
:-(

>>3029802
How could you do that to the one you love though? She's not really your waifu if you'd chain her in a basement.

Just block "!".

No tripfags around anymore. Problem solved.

>>3029802

Most Touhous would just break the bonds if they wanted to leave. Oh, they'd play along with you, of course, since quite a few are into BDSM. But I wouldn't count on them staying there.

And Beatrice certainly can't be kept in one room for long. She'd just appear elsewhere, demanding that you take care of her.

I suppose if you had a weak waifu like an Im@s you'd be fine, though.

Sometimes I wonder why I put up with this thankless job. But then I see anonymous posts that make me slap my forehead due to its utter stupidity that I recall the reason of my existence, to guide anonymous to a higher plane of thinking, so he won't destroy himself with his retarded mentality.

>>3029850

MY OWN CLONE!

Now neither of us will be virgins!

>>3029850
Wanna go out with me?

>>3029542
For someone who claims to not be a "secondary" fan, you certainly participate in a lot of these threads.

>>3029856
Why hello there you sexy beast. I like the cut of your gib.

>>3029874
Why in the world would you choose to have your name and tripcode closely resemble one of the most despised tripfags in /jp/? Or is this your "serious" persona?

>>3029874

It's jib you fucking idiot.

>>3029571

>My waifu becomes a retarded baby?

Not just a retarded baby, but a fat, retarded baby.

I kid, of course.

>>3029809
Maybe Anon just thinks his Waifu is too pure to be let out into the cold and forgiving world.

Better to keep her in the basement where she'll be safe.

This is like a car crash. You want to look away, but you just can't and in the end you feel miserable.

I don't care I'd take care of Tessa forever.

>>3029896
Generally acceptable as gib/jib. Its a slang, moron-kun.

>>3029910
I hope not. I hate car crashes. Tangles up the roads something fierce, but its just motorists slowing down to get a better look or take a picture.

>>3029944

It's not slang, it's a naval metaphor. And gib is not acceptable, as it means something completely different.

>>3029906

Basements are not an ideal domicile for a human, however...

My waifu is Remilia. If I ever did anything wrong my brains would be splattered on the wall. She also seems like the type to be into kinky shit, and she's a high-class ojousama too, as well as a vampire

Regardless, I'd do it.

I think it would go well, if mai waifu isn't yet comfortable sleeping with me on my king-sized bed, she can sleep in one of the other 2 bedrooms. ;_;

I'll need to consider what to do with her in terms of employment...I'm going through Universities for the next decade and there is only so much scholarships and fellowships can do...

I might need to get a job and hardly see mai waifu... ;_;

>>3030009
> I'll need to consider what to do with her in terms of employment...
You could always pimp her out, but deep down in your heart you'd know that she'd be USED GOODS

>>3030005
Shit tier loli and ojousama.

>>3029993
Wow, anon really hates you and consistently argues against you ad hominem in anything you do and picks apart the smallest little mistake and the such...

http://desuchan.net/rp/

>>3030016
I'd rather be poor than pimp mai waifu out!

I'll just have to get a job and ask her to do the same.

Reported for /b/-shit roleplaying

>>3030017
Eat a dick bro. Your waifu will never be as awesome as Remilia.

>>3030028
No one can be as awesome as Remilia. HY agreed.

>>3030018
Its not fun being discriminated against. I'm the victim here. I'm like the small voice of reason that gets drowned out in the roar of the mob. But that won't stop me from making sure each and every anonymous will start making quality posts so that /jp/ can be saved.

I am the cure.

I'd do it, it's only Marisa.

Also, reported.

I would gladly be Beatrice's furniture. If she wanted.

>>3030028
Enjoy your denial.

>>3030038
Sometimes i wonder if the Stakes sexual abused Battler too. He should just dump those witches and take the stakes and go for a harem end instead of a Despair end.

I never wish for my waifu to exist in irl, she's better off dead.

>>3030035
Well I agree that the average /jp/ anon does nothing but shitpost. I suppose if you make them ragequit /jp/ it'll become better if they don't improve.

>>3030005

Your waifu would turn you into a man, or kill you trying. Remilia wouldn't put up with half assed shit, or living in some crappy apartment. Fortunately, she can change fate and only requires a small amount of your blood to avoid hunger.

But then, why would Remilia accept any of you jerks as a husband?

>>3030060
Boredom?

>>3030028
He always reacts like that everytime Remilia is posted in a thread. Pay no attention.

>>3030060
>But then, why would Remilia accept any of you jerks as a husband?

OP is implying that they become your waifu.

>>3030066
Who? Not me certainly. But I guess jumping at shadows is part of being a insecure SDMfag.

>>3030060
>Your waifu would turn you into a man, or kill you trying.

Sounds good to me, brah.

Remilia, not so good.

>>3030076
I guess screaming out loud false propaganda about SDM inhabitants in every thread just to feel better is part of being a Moriyafag then.

Which one would you take, /jp/?

WWW
WWW
WWW
DOT
AAA
NNN
OOO
NNN
TTT
AAA
LLL
KKK
DOT
CCC
OOO
MMM

My waifu is immortal. She even prefers not to eat, and she likes having some alone time, which is very beneficial. That added with eternal youth and the ability to give it to someone else without the expense of her own, it would be awesome. I wouldn't need to be interested in anyone else.

>>3030107
The one with the flattest chest and the tightest vagina.

I'll change Reimu or Marisa to my waifu since they don't have crazy powers and are relatively normal, besides for spells and shit.

>>3030105
I don't particularly care for Moriya though.

Kaede huh? Are we assuming she's inexplicably in love with me or will she run off to find Rin?

I imagine I could care for her pretty easy. Since I'm back on my parents trust fund all I need to do is borrow more off it. Since my parents are still alive and in charge of the fund I'd just ask their permission, they'd be willing especially since they've wanted me married for 12 years. After that just finish school and provide for my wife.

I'm a NEET, but my parent's house is pretty nice. I don't know if she would be fine with that though.

>>3030114
haha you and me both, bro

>>3029542
I would gladly support Rika if she came to this world. If she were in this world I would have no reason to fap or be interested in other people.

>>3030228
What if she gets drunk and starts hitting you over the head with a bottle?

Touhou powers only exist in Gensokyo, right? I'd be a bit wary about bringing in a waifu from there otherwise.

Waifu? Is that like a Servant?

>>3030253
Waif U. A university for poor people.

>>3030238
I'd try to gently take away the bottle from her hands and ask her to calm down.

>>3030244

>Touhou powers only exist in Gensokyo, right?

SUPER HARD MODE: They only exist in Gensokyo. So you actually have to take care of your once-immortal waifu.

HARD MODE: She retains her powers, so you don't have to feed ones that don't have to eat, etc. It really doesn't matter either way - she's willing to take care of you if you are. We are implying that they came out of their own will, just for you.