/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Reported.

By some miracle I convinced Youmu to help me with dinner (because how the frack am I supposed to know what daily cusine in Hakugyokurou is?) and, following her instructions, we made a meal that I would liken to an expensive lunch at a fancy restaurant. (Y'know, in the $50-$80 range.) Hell, I didn't even know we had some of the ingredients used. Youmu became a little less hostile towards me and we actually began to talk like we were friends. She told me about her family lineage (Konpaku powah!) and how she was the gardener of the Netherworld and personal attendant to Yuyuko and I pretended this was all new info to me (even though it obviously wasn't) and told her about myself and my occupation, family, etc. By the time we had the meal prepared I had even managed to coax a small smile out of her, which no small feat from my perspective. (I've always viewed Youmu as a VERY serious, almost emotionless person. My mental image of her is very close to the attached pic.)
Anyways, about the time we finished the meal, Yuyuko had woken up and made her way back upstairs to my kitchen, and we sat down to eat. (Youmu served the food, even though I protested that the host be the one to perform that duty. However, she insisted so I eventually gave in.) Yuyuko sounded quite pleased with the meal and during the course of our dining she told about herself and how she found my house and indeed, this whole city quite fascinating. After the meal Youmu & I put away the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen while Yuyuko began browsing my bookshelves. SHe would pick up a book, open it, skim the pages for a while, and I got the distinct impression she was only looking at the pictures because whenever I tried to ask her about something that she would've read in the book, she look at me with a puzzled expression and say "What's that?"

I would just sigh and say "nevermind" and continue with my task of cleaning. Boy, am I sure glad Youmu was there to help! She insisted that her Mistress couldn't live in such an unclean residence and eventually convinced me to go on a cleaning rampage throughout the house. We tossed out old junk, dusted everywhere, washed the counters and scrubbed the bathrooms. While cleaning one of my upstairs bathrooms I was getting bored and began sneaking little clumps of bubbles from my soap into Youmu's hair. By the time we finished the bathroom floor she had a full-fledged afro. She didn't notice it, and wouldn't have either, except for the fact that Yuyuko nearly died laughing when she saw it. (No pun intended)

Bitchin sweet story bro

When we were finally finished with the cleaning I plopped down in my armchair and was getting ready to doze off when Yuyuko came zipping into the room holding what appeared to be a laptop. (In hindsight, I think it belonged to a friend of mine, not really sure.) She pointed to the screen and said "Watch this!". She then slid her fingers across the touchpad and the cursor on the screen would track her movements. Each time it wiggled around she'd giggle, and the increasing adorability of the scene was almost too much to bear. I asked her if she would let me see the laptop for a moment. She rested her head on the arm of my chair as I fiddled around with the laptop, getting it level on my legs so she could see properly. I opened up firefox (fuck yeah!) and went to Google and then asked her if there was anything she'd like to know. I half expected what she said next. "Where do you keep the good food?". I laughed and told her "At the Food Court of course!". She replied, "Court? So it's across the Sanzu River?". I laughed and pulled up Googlemaps. I located my house and told her that's where we were that very second. She had the expression of a young child making an amazing realization, like the first time you wanted to go play outside with other kids, or the first time you looked at the sky and understood it was more then a big blue blanket. (All I can say is D'AAAAAWWWW SO ADORABLE!) I then located one of the large Malls in my city and told her that's where the foodcourt was. I was too engrossed in seeing her happy to realize the impact this would have on my wallet, and infact I nearly forgot it as Yuyuko dragged Youmu and me out the door.

After another quick jaunt across town (this time only 3 miles though, so not that bad. And luckily, no restauraunts along the way!) The three of us arrived at the mall. If you must know, it's Fayette Mall in Lexington, Kentucky. It's a very large place, with a Dick's Sporting Goods, a Cinemark, Sears, Macey's, and a plethora of other shops and stores of all kinds. And need I mention the people? Swarms of the best and worst this country has to offer! Hundreds of mall patrons, of all shapes and sizes. Scene kids, goths, and emos mixed in with jocks, preps, and douches. There were rednecks & gearheads, geeks & NEETs. There were old couples and young flings. Every social cliche you can think of was present. The look on my guests faces was one of sheer amazement. Yuyuko said she'd never seen so many people or such a large place. (Coming from Hakugyokurou, you'd think she'd be used to large crowds, what with al the innocent things Reimu's always murdering.) Even Youmu was slightly intimidated by the number of potential threats.When you're new to the human world, you never know what to expect from large crowds. It was about this time I noticed she had brought her swords, and ever since we entered the mall she'd been gripping the hilt of her blade in preperation for any kind of trouble. And it wasn't long before trouble found us. It wasn't long at all.

A shady group of scene kids, most of em I knew from a bad phase of my past noticed our approach and took interest in my new friends. They stopped us as we tried to make our way past and one particularly dickhead-looking punk stepped up. As it turns out, this was a guy who I dislike very much and I would no sooner sock him in the jaw then say hello. But I wasn't going to give in to those temptations, not just yet anyways. With a stupid smirk on his face he said, "Yo Dave, who're they?" He looked them over. "Hookers? Cheap whores?". Youmu began to tense up and I could tell she was in the mood to slice first and ask questions later. Yuyuko seemed oblivious to what was going on, she was still too interested in observing her new surroundings to pay any attention to the situation at hand. Youmu began to move towards the punk, as she did she said "How dare you insult my Mistress! I'm going to c-" I stepped in front of her, cutting her off.
"You're going to what? Hit me? Oooh, I'm soo scared! Whoever will save me from the flatchested bitch?" The punk began laughing, and as if on cue, his posse began to laugh as well. And to top it all off, Yuyuko began laughing too. She's always so easy going, even in bad situations. If she sees others laughing then she laughs too. This was the point where I began to worry. Not for our safety, because I knew all to well that they wouldn't be able to lay a finger on any of us, no. I was worried that Youmu would snap and cut them to pieces. Things weren't looking good and I was running out of options.

Old copypasta is old
Proceed

Sugoi yume nikki, aniki.

I've always had a SOFT spot for Youmu.

...Nevermind, it's hard again.

I tried to defuse the situation. I told the punk to just back off now while he still had the chance. He simply laughed and said, "Or what? You and the flat bitch gonna try and take us all on? Incase you haven't noticed, you're outnumbered. A LOT. But then again, you never were good at math." This one struck home. I'm very intelligent, one of the top minds in the state according to my test results, but I suck absolute balls at math. I just don't like to do it, so I don't. And my grades have always suffered accordingly. I barely graduated highschool, I passed my algebra with a 64.5%. I came inches from snapping and I was ready to say "Frack it" and start swinging when something white caught my eye. Mall security was on their way, several uniformed officers each armed with a stungun, mace, a police baton, and of course, their reputation. Rent-a-Cop or not, this triggered a reaction in the punk's group. He decided it was now or never and threw the first punch, a solid hit to my gut. His buddies all lunged towards the three of us, and I knew we were in trouble.

SNAP.

Youmu lunged forward whilst drawing her blade. In one swift movement she had closed the gap between herself and the punk who hit me and cracked his nose with the hilt of her sword. Thrusting the blade down into the ground, she used it as a support to laucnh herself at the next closest punk and proceeded to deliver a powerful kick to his skull. I didn't get the opportunity to see her next attack, because that's the moment when the rest of the punks reached Yuyuko and myself. I knew Youmu was busy and might not be able to reach us, so I took it upon myself to keep Yuyuko out of harms way.

Now before I continue, let me tell you something about my fighting ability. My combat experience totals to a couple schoolyard fights with bullies back in the mid 90s, and a few scuffles at a mental institution. (That's another story for another time.) Now sure, I've been through hell & back when it comes to dreams (I've fought alongside the Terrans against the Zerg, I've stormed the beaches of Normandy, crossed the blazing deserts of El Alamein alongside Rommel's Afrika Corps, and once even helped James Bond kill Oddjob.) but fighting in dreams is a mixed bag for me, sometimes I can fly and shoot lazers, and sometimes I'm limited to my actual physical abilities. Unfortunately, this was one of those situations where I only had my own abilities to rely on. I throw mild punches, they do little damage. My kicks are another story however, and I'm one agile sunuvabiznitch. I can dodge, block, and counter any strike made by an unexperienced combatant using "street-style" martial arts. Now, back to the dream.

Yuyuko chose this moment to notice the big sign that pointed the way to the foodcourt, and she began lazily wandering over in the direction it pointed. "Great, I have to do an escort quest." I thought to myself. I spotted Youmu's sword, still embedded into the ground and realized this was my only chance to keep Youmu from murdering anyone. I tugged it out and used it to hold the punks at bay as Yuyuko continued on her merry, oblivious way towards the foodcourt. Several of the punks tried to outflank us and I had to fight a two sided battle, jumping from one side of Yuyuko to the other to hold them off. They quickly wisened up when they realized they couldn't fight a swordsman with their bare hands, and so the punks began picking up objects they could use to their advantage. One guy grabbed a chair from a nearby shop and tossed it at us. It spiraled towards Yuyuko. I barely managed to jump in it's path, and the impact sent me sprawling onto the floor. I went sliding past Yuyuko and as I did I saw another punk was coming up behind her, intending to do God-knows-what, but it couldn't be anything good. By some miracle, Yuyuko saw me slide past and it must've looked like fun to her, because she ran and dived onto her stomach, sliding even farther then I did and giggling all the way. "Thank goodness for her childishness." I thought to myself. It was about this time a new problem reared it's ugly head. Mall security had showed up en-force.

Apparently the original trio of rent-a-cops had called for backup, and now there were 16 of the buggers, stunguns drawn.It was about this time Youmu made her re-appearence. Yuyuko and I were cornered in a small clothing store and the cops were blocking it off. Yuyuko was playing around with some of the frillier clothing accessories (go figure) and I was trying to keep the cops from getting a clear shot at her. Right as they were about to stun us both, Youmu comes up from behind and knocks the group of officers down. I yell that we need to get outta here and she agrees. I grab her by the arm and start to run towards the exit, but Youmu stands fast and refuses to budge until I return her sword. I plead with her to just go, but she refuses and we argue like this for several minutes, me refusing to hand over her weapon until we're off the premises and her refusing to leave the premises until I hand it over. Yuyuko takes this opportunity to wander off and it's now that I realize we're actually in the food court.

Yuyuko heads straight for the asian cuisine section, and returns with multiple large takeout boxes loaded with noodles, rice, chicken, and all kinds of other goodies. My jaw would've dropped in envy if it weren't for our current situation. The rent-a-cops have us surrounded at this point, and I resume pleading with Youmu that we leave before they catch us. I know that if I give her the blade there will be casualties (if there weren't any already, just because she's unarmed doesn't mean she can't kill.) but if we get caught then there'll be even bigger hell to pay. By some kinda miracle, at the last. POSSIBLE. SECOND. Yuyuko asks that Youmu carry the take-out, dumping it all into Youmu's arms before she can protest. With her hands full Youmu can't handle a blade and she knows it, and defying her mistress's will is against all she stands for. I've won. I ask Yuyuko if she can take us home, and next thing I know she's lifted Youmu and me onto her shoulders, and we go crashing through the glass roof and fly off to my house, leaving behind a shattered mall and a whole lotta stunned bystanders.

(AUTHORS NOSE)
[This last bit isn't relative anymore, cause I had to leave for work before being able to post it, but I didn't type up my dream just so that parts could go un-posted!]

It was here that I awoke from the dream. I don't know what happens next, but I can only imagine the three of us went home and enjoyed a great oriental dinner together. I could probably turn this into a crazy story, heck, even a series, though I need to get ready for work, I start at 2pm. Enjoy your reads /jp/!

{THE END}

I've had some other interesting Touhou dreams, but nothing as epic as that. The only thing that comes close was the time that I essentially relived the events of EoSD. In that dream I had the powers of a WoW frost specced mage. It was pretty badass, but I don't know if I'll ever retype it.. It had Koakuma in it, and I somehow managed to dick around with Sakuya's time manipulation crap. I think I might've burnt down part of Patchy's library too..

Cool story bro

really

I wish I could dream shit like that, would be awesome

>>2972424


You don't gotta landscape, why not ride your bike for like, a couple hours. Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album, and just cruise around in the evening. Push yourself, and by the time it's getting dark you should be sufficiently dead enough to want to plop down and snooze.

Although, if gaming makes you exhausted you can try it, but personally, I've never had insane dreams after long gaming marathons. But that's just me! Give it a shot, see what works for you!

>>2972427
>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

>>2972408
>several minutes
Wat?

tl;dr
touhou fanfiction? pic related.

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album,

>>2972427
>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album,

What the fuck?

>>2972473
>>2972449
>>2972435
>>2972427
same fag

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

fuck iPods

>>2972427
>Grab your iPod

Best forced meme in years.

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

Was best first time round, bros.

Never heard of ipod or iosys so I must be doing something right.

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

Also, old copypasta is ancient.

same fag

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album.

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album

Will do.

Sigh nobody dreams this way

I am proud to say that I don't have a single IOSYS song or an iPod.

>Grab your iPod, fire up your favorite IOSYS album.