/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Torture the little fucking retards to death. Fucking worthless pieces of bean paste shit.

Contributing because I love watching them suffer.

Ugh, the Marisas and Reimus are the worst.

>>2919674

Posting superior yukkuri pictures.

>>2919726
Because they are. Particularly the Reimu your pic is from; it killed its family because it went near an Alice.

>>2919771
>superior = not being killed

Fuck off.

>>2919771
>>2919778
>>2919783
>>2919788
>>2919796
>>2919800
>>2919805
Agreed. They were entertaining when they were ominous beings that only had 3 facial expressions to choose from, and they didn't really do anything.

>>2919823
>they were entertaining when they did shit all

wat

>>2919823
> >>2919771
>>2919778
>>2919783
>>2919788
>>2919796
>>2919800
>>2919805

Samefag.

>>2919816
The classical piece of yukkuri torture!
I still think that story with Yuyuko and the Yukkurisa was better.

>>2919850
WTF is this gay-ass shit

>:3

60. One day, a bunch of yukkuris were taking it easy, when all of a sudden a man appeared and abducted them. (A Remirya, a Reimu, a Marisa, a Chen and a Myon.) He took them to a room in the factory, and locked them there. They were to be used as stress relief for the employees. A man walks in, and kicks the Remirya into the wall. It sits down and cowers. The other yukkuris tell him to apologize, but he grabs the Chen and throws it into the wall. He then takes the Reimu, and shaves it bald with an electric razor, ignoring its desperate pleas; their accessories are more precious than their lives. The Reimu is now in a state of shock, and can only cry. He then takes the Marisa's hat, and it starts bumping him while screaming "Give back Marisa's hat!!!". He beats it up until its whole body is swollen, takes it in his lap, grabs a pair of pliers and plays dentist. In the end, the now toothless Marisa faints from the pain, with bean paste flowing from its mouth. He then takes it to a faucet and washes its mouth. It wakes up from the pain. Under the pretext of making its mouth cleaner, he begins to brush its gums. With a four-bladed razor. The nightmare of the yukkuris has just begun.

Love this:

61. When they come back he tells them what they usually say: "This is Oniisan's home! If you can take it easy, stay here!" They can't prove the opposite, since their personal items have disappeared. They end up being grateful. The kids then ask for food. Anon says "I said I'd let you stay here, but I never said I'd feed you. Understand it easy." The mother goes out to look for food. Meanwhile, Anon wraps the kids in a cloth and throws them in the river. When the mother returns, he says they were eaten by a crow. "Why didn't you protect them?" "I said I'd let you stay here, but I never said I'd protect you. Understand it easy." "Yu...I understand easy." That night, he surprises it bu hitting it with a log while it's sleeping. He then says "I said I'd let you stay here, but I never said I'd let you live. Understand it easy." He goes on to explain everything he did, and says that if it had understood earlier, it could have saved its young. He then leaves the cave.

62. Anon finds a Yukkureimu/Yukkurisa couple on the street. They're chewing on a daikon which they've obviously stolen, so he decides to punish them by taking their accessories. He distracts them by telling them to take it easy, and as they're replying, he runs away. They chase him until it gets dark, but he hides and watches. They give up, crestfallen, and go back to the mountains. He follows them.They find their former friends, who start insulting them because they have no decorations. The two start crying, and the others beat them up, killing them. Anon feels he has made a great discovery, so he feels like continuing the experiment. He reveals himself, saying "let me take it easy here", which makes all the yukkuris trust him. He says that he came to return the accessories of their friends, who went all the way to dangerous places to get food for their friends. He keeps telling them how their friends tried their best for them, until they break down and start crying, screaming. vomiting, going crazy, crushing their children, biting their tongues off and many other wonderful things. In the end, they start eating each other. Anon does this two more times. The third time, two yukkuris are left standing. One is laughing like a maniac, and one is trembling. He crushes the maniac, and takes the other one home. It doesn't even respond to the phrase "take it easy", and it only moves when he puts food in its mouth. He enjoys thinking of ways to bring it back.

ITT: kids who cheered on darth vader in the theaters making them super fucking cool.

51. Anon comes home and finds a family of Yukkureimus. After the usual pleasantries, he offers to make them some toast. They're happy about this. He takes them to the sink and washes them. He then steps on the mother, who was next to him. "Why are you stepping on mommy!!? She's not bothering you!!!" "Yeah, but she will try to in a moment." He then starts emptying one of the small yukkuris. The others scream and panic. He then turns the rest into jam, and offers some to the mother. It vehemently refuses, so he tips it over and puts a flat stone on it. He says he won't let it go unless it eats some. He then goes out, has a drink with his friends, shares the toast with them, goes shopping, all the while taking it easy. When he returns, he puts a slice in front of the mother, who licks it and says "I don't care anymore. I wanna take it easy." When the yukkuris drop the triple exclamation mark, you know they're utterly broken. So he crushes it with the stone. He notes that it was tastier than the little ones, since fear and despair makes them sweeter.

>>2919993
>- People of an age where they could watch and comprehend Star Wars when it was originally in theaters being anywhere on 4chan, let alone /jp/

What.

>>2920006
The re-release.

>>2919993
Yukkuris = Ewoks

Damn right I cheered for the Empire.

>>2920006
Forgot something.
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...

>>2920013
You said 'kids', faggot.

47. Anon is observing an isolated yukkuri village, probably for research. He notes that they all live happily, except for one thing. Every day, half of them go out to gather food, and half stay home to play with the children. When they return, there's always a hassle of such proportions that the mothers lose the children. Some get taken by other mothers, and some (approximately 3 per day) get targeted by two mothers, in which case they both pull it apart trying to take it from each other. In most cases, its real mother is in a feeding trance ("This shit's good!!!") and doesn't notice.

Some time later, a group of yukkuri Alices came to the village. They were recieved well, and they got along quite well with everyone, especially the kids. However, Anon noticed that the kids started decreasing. So, he gets a pair of Nitori-made night vision goggles and goes to see what happens during the night. It turns out that the Alices go into the others' nests, smash the children, and rape the teenaged ones in their sleep. Said teenaged ones wake up to find out that their children are missing, and they have a tendril full of yukkuri Alices sprouting from their heads. After a while, they've overrun the village. They gather the mothers together and gang-rape them. Some of them are sprouting dozens of tendrils, which kills them. After that, having nothing more to pillage, the Alices left for another place.

>>2920019
yeah and it came out again in theaters in the 90's you double faggot.

>>2920018
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
well i never. kids today sure do make angry!

44. Anon has built a wall around the vegetables he's growing as his hobby. However, a Yukkureimu family has barged in by digging. He talks to them, (they act like it belongs to them, of course) and tells them that if they get out, they'll be caught by the factory people. He then reinforces the wall, so they can't come in. Then he tells them that he'll take the vegetables, cook them and bring them back. The next day, he tells them that they're his vegetables, so he ate them. "Whyyyyyyy!!? They were Reimu's vegetables!!! That's mean!!!" They try to dig their way out, but there's an underground stream, and they almost get soaked. He leaves them there for two weeks. When he comes back, the three babies were nowhere to be found. (I wonder what happened to them.) He then explains his plan to make them learn how to grow vegetables. At first they ignore him and beg for food, but then they realize that they have no choice. After many weeks, the harvest period is getting close. Anon goes to see them, but sees all the vegetables have vanished. It turns out that he's done this before, and the yukkuris always succumbed to their instincts. However, they surprise him by showing him that they picked the vegetables and stored them. Anon is shocked and touched. After that, the family grows, the parents teach the babies how to help with the gardening, and the man doesn't come as often as he did. It's now fall, and the harvest festival is approaching. The yukkuris are wondering when the man will show up. Anon doesn't come visit them as often anymore, but he brings meat and sweets every time he does. One day, they see him coming in and greet him, only it turns out that it's someone else. "This is my field, get out or I'll eat you." he says. The yukkuris are horrified. He heads towards the small hut where they've stored their vegetables.

They try to stop him, but he grabs one of the babies and bites off a quarter. "What are you doing to Reimu's kiiiiiiiiiiiiid!!?" He notes that its filling is green, and it's very tasty. He plans to sell them to the factory. He then finishes eating. He sees how much food they've gathered, and notes that they've probably stolen it. They deny that, but he doesn't believe them. They start screaming for him to put down their food, but he says he'll share some with them. He grabs a small one and crushes it. He says that if they don't eat it, he'll eat them. They cry at first, but after a while they start the usual "This shit's good!!!" routine. After they calm down, he wonders which one he should feed them next. They have now realized that there's no escape for them. The bean paste-soaked harvest festival has begun.

>>2920024
Reported for your petulant nonsense.
As has the whole thread for being full of shit.

And then remilia took a giant shit all over the place.

43. A farmer Anon goes home after a long day's work, and decides to preempt us by asking "Isn't this where the yukkuris tell me to take it easy?" They do, but one of them, a Yukkurisa, has a body, a deep, bass voice and is six feet tall. The Yukkureimu is normal. He preempts them too, telling them to get out of this house. Of course, they refuse. The Yukkurisa actually punches him, and he gets a nosebleed. They fight seriously for a while, with the Yukkurisa getting a few hits in, but Anon pushes it down and starts ripping the skin off its face. Meanwhile, Yukkureimu is cheering. After Anon rips some of the skin off, Reimu screams. Marisa gets up, but instead of attacking again, rips off the rest of the skin, revealing a man's face. "Huh? What the shit, where am I?" "Mister, why are you here!!? What did you do to Marisa!!?" The man apologizes, but he doesn't know what happened. He remembers that before going to bed, he was drunk, and he tried to take the hat off a Yukkurisa. When he saw that he couldn't, he put it on his head. The two men have dinner together, and end up becoming friends. It turns out that if you wear a yukkuri on your head, you'll become one. It's not irreversible, though.

shit postin abound

32. Anon works for a group dedicated to helping yukkuris. One day, after a rain that lasted for a few days, he goes to the forest and finds a family of one mother and 10 newborn koyukkuri Reimus, who were unable to go out since it was raining, and thus are starving. He takes them home, gives them chocolate and goes out to buy some more food. The mother ends up giving all of it to the kids, so she's still starving. She starts licking some of the chocolate the kids had bathed in. Then, one of them crashes into a wall while bouncing around, and leaves some bean paste on it. The mother licks it, and promptly proceeds to eat the baby. The others are screaming and assaulting her, but she starts crushing and eating them. After she's eaten the last one, she exclaims: "Refreshed!!!".

29. Anon is a writer, but business is in a slump, and he's delayed the only project he's working on. Naturally, the editor is RAGEing. Anon has stayed up late, trying to finish it (on his PC), but his pet Yukkureimu keeps screaming "Stop working easy!!! Let's take it easy!!! I wanna play easy!!!". He is, of course, pissed. While hopping around the room, it tries to eat the flowers from a vase, and ends up breaking it. Of course, it denies that it's its fault. Anon RAGEs, cleans up and goes to the lower floor to dump the fragments of the vase. Upon returning, he finds the vile beast bouncing on his keyboard. The power is off. "I'm working easy too!!! I finished the work, so we can play easy!!!" Anon checks the PC, but no; all his work has been deleted. (Autosaving, Anon, do you use it?) He stares at the screen, dumbfounded, while Yukkureimu screams that since the work is over, they should play easy. He then takes it and dunks it into a garbage can. It didn't fit, so he pushes it until it does. He then puts a lid on it, and starts kicking it around the room, ignoring the screams and pleas for mercy. In the end, he kicks it down two floors, and leaves it in front of the front door. He plans to check if it's alive tomorrow.

28. Anon is out for shopping at night. He likes sweets, so he bought a lot. On the way back, he meets a Yukkureimu, which greets him energetically and shows great interest in the sweets he has in the shopping bag. He lets it in the bag. It's overjoyed and starts gobbling them down, but then Anon ties the bag and starts turning it around. Of course, screams of despair are coming from inside the bag, lamenting the inability to take it easy. He keeps this up for more than ten minutes, until his arm gets tired. He then lets it out of the bag. It dizzily staggers back a meter, staring at Anon with a mixture of dizziness, hatred, surprise and dizziness. It then throws up a quarter of its size, backs up a bit more, and throws up again. Anon laughs and goes back to the store, but not before stabbing it in the eyes with his penis.

27. One day, Anon buys a small remote controlled vibrator from Rinnosuke, who's quite embarrassed. We're both adults, dude, what's with the blushing? Thus thinking, Anon goes home. There he sees a yukkuri he's been playing with the past few days. He slips it a tranquilizer, cuts a little hole in it and implants the vibrator. When it wakes up, he activates it. "Yuyuyuyuyu!!? What was that!!?" "Maybe it was an earthquake?" "Erthkwake!!? I don't know, but it happened!!!" Anyway, he then tells it to come again tomorrow, and bring its friends. They come the next day, one Yukkurisa and one Patchouli (who can only say "Mukyuu!"). He activates the vibrator, Yukkureimu goes super horny and starts raping the Patchouli, (whose physical condition isn't as good as that of the other yukkuris). Yukkurisa's horrified. It turns out that after copulation, the "recipient" dies, and some sort of mini-tree sprouts from them, from which 10-15 mini yukkuris are born. Anon then turns off the vibrator. Reimu asks what happened to Patchouli, Marisa screams at her. Reimu: "Liar!!! I never did that!!!" Anon then turns the vibrator back on, and Reimu rapes Marisa this time, with the same result. He decides Reimu has had enough fun and digs its eyes out of its sockets with a rusty spoon, before cutting out its tongue to rip the vibrator out. Now struggling lifelessly and begging for "mishter to kill Weimu pwease...yuuuu~", Anon shoves the tongue and vibrator where its eyes used to be. For giggles that afternoon, he threw the near-corpse through and orphange's window.

>>2920118
Hilarious.

26. A certain young man working with the police comes home after a long day of decieving everyone at work. He finds about that his Yukkureimu opened the door and let about 20 more Reimus and Marisas in. They've eaten all the food, broken his TV and decorations, and generally done as much damage as they could. Restraining his anger, he takes them to a room where they can take it easy. He gathers them, and builds a wall around them (don't ask me how). He then leaves them there for a day. He plans to make them experience hell on earth. The next day, he takes a hammer and a metal spike and tells them to start eating each other, or else he'll eat them. They get on with the cannibalism, but he starts driving the spike through all the yukkuris that seem to be winning, and then tells the others to eat it. In the end, he's left with the original Reimu he had and a Yukkurisa. He says "I'll eat this one." "No, Reimu's not tasty!!! Eat Marisa!!!" "Then I'll eat this one." "Marisa's not tasty!!! Eat Reimu!!!" He then gets them to fight each other, but they know that the winner gets the metal spike, so they don't know what to do. In the end, he kills them and starts thinking about what to do next. His train of thought ends with "I will become the god of the new world!...Just kidding.
So yeah, it was Lighto.

23. Anon has left Remirya in his car, in the middle of summer. She's got the safety belt on, so she can't move, and it's very uncomfortable. Anon then comes back and offers to cool her with some dry ice. She joyfully gets the dry ice all over her face and hands, but then it sticks her hands to her face. She can't take her hands off her cheeks by herself, so she asks Anon. He pulls them off, ripping quite a lot of skin off in the process. She starts crying, but the salty tears hurt her wounds even more. In great pain and unable to even cry, she's desperate. She puts her hands back to her cheeks without thinking, and they get stuck again. "You want me to pull them off again?" "No!!! ;_;" He then chooses the other way, to leave her in the car for a couple of hours while he goes to the beach. At 2 o' clock, in the middle of summer. He plans to gather a few pebbles for her, if she's still alive when he comes back.

18. Anon meets a family of Yukkureimus and Yukkurisas (mixed?). He asks them to let him stay at their place, and gives them some pork in return. They invite him, and he offers to teach them a game. "Slaughter game" "Slot...ter...game?" He picks a small one up, takes out a knife and says "First, we choose the "pig". We do this" (he slices its back with the knife) "and the pig pretends it's in pain." Indeed, the small one is screaming. Wow, it's really good at this game. "Then, we step on the pig until all its bean paste comes out. In the next round, someone else will be the pig, so it's okay." He gives the knife to the eldest sister, and leaves. They all play happily together, until only the eldest sister is left. The mother comes home, sees the mess, and the eldest greets her with "Welcome back easy!!! We all took it easy together!!!". "Did you do this!!?" Yes!! We played easy together!!!" The mother ate her child through tears in vengeance.

17. A family of Yukkureimus is living in an abandoned house. They have a lot of food stored there, and take it easy every day. One day, an old man came in and started (IIRC) vacuum cleaning. The babies were horrified by the noise. When he stopped, they all told him to get out. He ignored them and sat on the big one. He took an apple from their storage and started eating it. The small ones shout "That's our food, mister!!! Put it down easy!!! Go away easy!!!" He ignores them, throws the apple away and gets out some gum. They change their minds, and tell him "Since you ate our food, give us some of that!!!" (The big one was moaning all along, but they stopped paying attention in fromt of the food.) He finally pays attention, and tells them to stand in a line. He then takes the gum from his mouth, and stretches it over their hair. They futilely try to lick it off each other. He then lights a cigarette, and blows the smoke on them. "*cough* That stinks, mister!!! Go away easy!!!" They finally notice the big one moaning, and try to approach him, but he farts. They go into a corner to escape the smell, but they keep shouting at him. Needless to say, the big one was horrified. He then stands up and tells them they can take it easy together. He starts jumping around, chasing the small yukkuris, almost stopming them several times. When they're too exhausted to run, he leaves, saying "We're good friends now, let's take it easy again tomorrow!" Needless to say, the whole family moved out while crying the same day. Or would have done, had he not put the babies in a blender full of barbed wire while making the parents eat the mixtures. They died of shitting agony days later.

Urgh...Yukkuri torture makes my balls tingle.

I don't know whether to hate or to love you, /jp/.

>>2920177
Summary anon here. I distinctly recall not having written that last sentence. Same goes for many of the stories in this thread. What, as they say, gives?

>>2920195
16. you can start by handing your ass to me so bend yoursel over and i will insert my penis and extract rinse and repeat
you will enjoy the pleasure of being cummed inside

Mokou is returning home from Keine's place, where she ended up staying for three days. She finds a yukkuri family that think the place belongs to them. She dismembers the small ones, then starts scooping out the big one's cheeks with a spoon. She heard that the core is delicious. When she takes it out, it stops screaming. She then decides to take the sweet bean paste she's gathered to Eientei, to have a feast with Kaguya.

Since when was /jp/ about fanfiction, much less terrible fanfiction? Thread reported.

>>2920235
Either trolling, or wasn't around nine months ago.

Retardchan sucks nigger penis. Bookmark the real board:

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> i fif

>>2920267
You mean nine months ago when you same fanfiction.net migrants spammed this board with yukkuri threads because you were too stupid to keep it in one place? Go back to pooshlmer/deviantart where you belong.

>>2920235
[x] Jump into lake

>>2920283
>fanfiction.net
Obviously a 1/10 troll, has no idea what he's talking about, no reason to bother. Snigger and move on.

>>2920283
Sir, you do not seem to remember YWUIG. If you did, you would have known that this board was always about fanfiction.

>>2920296
>>2920297
Are you kids seriously defending fanfiction and the people who write it?

The only kinds of "people" (read: subliterate, mouthbreathing wastes of life) who waste their time making fanfiction are either yaoi fangirls or the KAWAII DESU YO NE XDDD crowd.

How does it feel to be an embarassment to humanity, even by the dismally low standards of /jp/?

>>2920392
Again, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, you're even trolling things that aren't there. Don't embarass yourself any further.

>>2920297
I remember those threads being banned.

>>2920421
Insult me all you like, but answer my question. Are you defending fanfiction, its supposed merits and the people who write it?

>>2920455
Of course I don't, but this is something entirely different. I won't explain further, because you're either a troll, and you already know, or you're enough of a moron to insult things you haven't got the slightest idea about, and therefore don't deserve an explanation.

>>2920504
>Of course I don't, but this is something entirely different.
>implying yukkuris aren't fanfiction

>I won't explain further, because you're either a troll, and you already know, or you're enough of a moron to insult things you haven't got the slightest idea about, and therefore don't deserve an explanation
>I can't make a sound rhetorical defense of my position so I'll just insult you

Is this the best defense you can make of your position? Are you so pathetic that you're afraid to say "yes, I write fanfiction and there's nothing wrong with it for x reasons" even on the anonymity of the internet?

>>2920573
I don't write fanfiction, congratulations on being utterly wrong. These are summaries, and have nothing to do with the originals. And the originals weren't even fanfiction, they themselves were the whole concept. You also seem to have convinced yourself, due to some strange train of thought, that I support the cause of fat yaoi fangirls, which shows how much effort you're putting into this (that is, none). And yes, I will insult you, because you're either trolling or stupid and misinformed, and if you think 4chan bothers to entertain either, you need to spend more time here.

Note to those watching: Trolls often try to seem smart, in order to make you take their recockulousness seriously. Doing so results in their victory. Don't.

>>2920626
>I don't write fanfiction, congratulations on being utterly wrong.
>Active contributor to a yukkuri thread
>yukkuris are fanfiction

You lost me.


>These are summaries, and have nothing to do with the originals.

In normal conversation, we call these (poorly written) summaries fanfiction.

>And the originals weren't even fanfiction, they themselves were the whole concept.
>implying yukkuris aren't fanfiction derived from Touhou

>You also seem to have convinced yourself, due to some strange train of thought, that I support the cause of fat yaoi fangirls

The shell is different, but the heart is the same, in this case. By making and defending fanfiction as they do, you vindicate their actions.

>And yes, I will insult you, because you're either trolling or stupid and misinformed
>Anyone who disagrees with me is a troll or stupid

>Note to those watching:
>I care about those reading this thread.
>I'm an attention whore

So remind me, how are you different from the yaoi fangirls, again? You make/promote iredeemably awful fanworks, care about the dispositions of some imaginary internet audience and as a function of these, don't deserve to be called male.

Get out of my /jp/.