/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I wish they didn't allow roleplaying. Oh wait, they don't.

The headache clears as you steel yourself for the task ahead. Nothing can stop you! Apart from perhaps the sight in front of your eyes right now. She's getting up off the bed. Oh god her nightshirt only reaches the top of her thighs.

Despite being so very sure of your vampire-hunting heritage, you find yourself unable to move as Remilia crawls across the bed towards you. Remilia? That's right! Remilia! You remember now, The Vampire Countess you were sent to hunt ... but where is Dracula? Trying to ignore your raging erection and the sight of Remilia's hand reaching out towards your chest, you jump back.

"C-could this, perhaps, be the i-infamous castle of Dracula?" You stammer out. You feel a bit better after that, Foul creature of the night should listen to you. No wait it was a Mansion, shit.
Remilia sits back and puts a hand up to her mouth in mild shock. "Oh! Thankyou! You do know how to flatter, don't you?"
"What?"
"No, it's not Dracula's castle. I'm one of his descendants though. Not surprised you noticed, it's hard to hide."
Foul thing seems full of itself! "You ... you ... you ... er ..." The words seem to be missing somehow.
"Yes?" Remilia waits with a grin, leaning forward on the bed.

Remilia is pressed right up against you, shaking with laugher. You can smell her hair from this close. She smells so damn good. Shouldn't she smell like a grave? Or coffin-wood? Or something? It's getting hard to remember anything much about vampire hunting. You're laughing with her now and she's just started to calm down a little. You slip your arms around her back and there's no resistance.
"A miserable ..." you manage. Then you slip one hand lower.

For a moment you feel the silk smoothness of her underwear and the chilled skin of her thigh. You squeeze just a little and she gasps. Then pulls away from you fast. The feel of vampire loli ass pulls you out of the dream, your head feels fine now, though you notice you are covered in cold sweat. But you were never in a dream. You realize, with a mixture of terror and excitement, that you are standing in Remilia's bedroom in the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

And you just groped her.

"That wasn't in any of them! Tut tut, can't you control yourself?" She frowns, hovering over the bed once more.
"Um, sorry?" In your mind you're still feeling that ass. And anticipating your own death.
"That's better." She smiles a sly little smile at you, sticking her tongue between her teeth.
"You're funny. Wait there a second."
You feel yourself relax just a fraction. You amused her. You made Remilia Scarlet laugh! You're fucking awesome.
"SAKUYAAAAAA! COME HERE!"
Oh shit.

Hello, SDM:LA

"You!" It's coming back to you now.
"Yes? Go on!"
"You have been doomed since you lost the ability to love!" You shout. Damn that felt good. Wonder what you meant by it though?
Remilia sits back again, this time frowning.
"What? That's just rude." She pouts.
"Oh ... er, sorry." You look down at your feet.
"Oh!" She suddenly jumps up, but doesn't stop when her feet leave the bed. She floats up into the air, drifting slowly towards you.
"I remember this! I do, give me a moment."
She screws up her eyes, tapping her forehead as if thinking really hard. From this angle you can just see a sliver of her white panties and the floating motion is pushing the nightshirt against her body. While her eyes are shut you quickly rearrange the contents of your pants to relieve some pressure.
"Okay, here goes!" She says, floating closer.
"Mankind ill needs a saviour such as you!" She shouts, huge grin plastered on her face.
You're stunned for a moment. You suppose mankind could do a lot better than a vampire hunter who wants to bang the shit out of the vampire he is meant to be fighting.
Remilia is looking at you expectantly.
"You steal men's souls and make them your slaves!" You try.
It seems to work. Remilia doubles up laughing.
"This is the most fun I've had in years! Okay, right." She floats down and grabs you by the shoulders.
"Are you ready?"
You manage to nod, hoping she doesn't move close enough to tell how turned-on you are.
"WHAT IS A MAN?" She screams in your face, then collapses onto you, laughing.

At this distance from Remilia it might be assumed that you're in the middle of a fight. You hop over to the bed as fast as you can and sit down. Remilia pats your head.
"Normally you're not supposed to sit on a Lady's bed. You're not supposed to appear in her room in the middle of the night and make her feel alive either, so it's okay for now."
The door opens almost without a sound, and in steps Sakuya. She pauses when she sees you, but doesn't look shocked.
"My Lady?"
"Sakuya, take this ... charming gentleman to get some food, then find him a room. I'm going back to sleep."
Sakuya bows her head slightly. "Yes my Lady."
As you get up from the bed to follow Sakuya, you feel Remilia's breath in your ear. "Go on, I'll see you later" she whispers. Her hand hitting your ass makes you jump.

Once outside the room, Sakuya shuts the door silently. She ignores you, turns to the wall and produces a small pencil from one the pockets on her maid's apron. As she reaches up to the wall you peek over her shoulder and see a piece of paper stuck to the wall with lots of Xs and Os on it in rows. There are lots of Xs and only a few Os. Sakuya adds another O.
She turns back to you with a scowl.
"Would you look at that! You're the first time she hasn't even touched a meal in months! You little, uagh!"
At least she isn't filling you with daggers, but Sakuya's temper is almost palpable.

You apologize profusely, explaining that you didn't know how to be appetizing and more importantly that you didn't know that you were supposed to be a meal. Sakuya sighs and crosses her arms.
"I suppose she'll have you later anyway. Stupid bloodbag."
Sakuya starts to walk away from you.
"Come on then. The Mistress said to feed you."
You follow Sakuya down the hallways of the Mansion for a while, keeping a little behind her. Fairy maids look at you with shock, some of them whispering to each other before Sakuya silences them with a glance. You notice that your earlier arousal has gone away after that little confrontation. Good, no knowing what Sakuya would do if she saw that.
She takes you down two flights of stairs and through a pair of double doors into a very large and well equipped kitchen.
"Right" she mutters to herself. There is a pause, like a jump through several frames of film, followed by a huge sneeze from yourself. You see a pan has been added to the neat pile of washing up next to the sink. In front of you Sakuya places a large plate of scrambled eggs.
"How did you know I would like eggs?" You ask, wiping your nose.
She is expressionless "I didn't."
She turns to go.

"Miss Sakuya?"
She pauses, back to you.
"What?"
"Does the name 'Belmont' mean anything to you?"
Sakuya doesn't answer for a long moment. Or move. Or breathe, as far as you can see. Strange to see her so still. Kind of a nice sight as well. Then there is a dagger sticking into the wall just above your head, and another between your legs.
"No" Sakuya finally says, and slams the kitchen doors behind her.

You move out from between the daggers, which are both sunk into the wall right up to their hilts. Wow, you made her really angry that time.

WHAT IS A MAN?

You dig into the eggs Sakuya left. Damn, these are good. Really good. Woman can cook. Not surprising considering who she's cooking for. You make a mental note to compliment her on her cooking if you get a chance.

As you finish up you hear a loud crash and a tinkle from just outside.. By the time you open the door to look there is a giggle receding into the distance and nothing to indicate a person breaking anything. What the hell was that?
"Finished?" Sakuya's voice makes you jump. She's standing right behind you, she wasn't there a moment ago. Was she watching you?
You nod.
"Follow." She sounds angry, but not any more so than before. Maybe she put the incident in the kitchen to the back of her mind already?
She leads you back to the upper floors of the Mansion and stops at a door. She opens the door, points inside and then walks off again before you can think to say anything.

Inside is not exactly wonderful. Everything seems a little old and battered but at least the bed is comfy. There is however, no window. You still feel tired though, no matter what time of day it might be outside.

However tempting it is to explore the Mansion unsupervised, you decide it would be best to get some rest. Don't want to end up collapsing from tiredness like that Tohno guy. A sudden realization hits you as you pull back the bed sheets and think of sleep: you're wearing some very weird clothes. All the tension up to this point means you weren't really paying attention to them.

Those are definitely your shoes, but newer and cleaner. The pants look ordinary but there's no label of any kind on them. Same for your t-shirt. Over that is a long coat which you've never see before, full of pockets, some of which are obviously stuffed with various objects. Then there's that whip. A horrible thought hits you and you quickly find a mirror on one of the walls to make sure.

No no. You're still you. Your face is there. You haven't jumped into the body of Richter Belmont or anything. The whip looks like a perfectly normal whip, but you decide not to go around testing it out for now. Relaxing a little, you take off your shoes and coat, leave the whip next to them, get into bed and fall asleep.

Time passes, but you're not sure how long. Sleep feels strange somehow. You feel as if you're awake, but unable to open your eyes or move.
"How did you get in?" A voice asks.
You can't speak, but somehow the voice can hear you thinking that you don't know how you got here.
"Lies. How did you get in?" You can't place who the voice belongs to, it's not one you've heard before.
You protest that you have no idea. The voice fades away and you hear another one. Somehow this one is sharper, closer and a lot more cheerful.
"Hello! What's your name?"
You struggle to answer, but your body is still sleeping.
"Hello?" You feel a finger poke your side.

The effort needed to move your mouth is near-superhuman. Nothing seems to be working properly at all. As you manage to part your lips and force some sound out, the effect begins to lessen and you're at least able to speak, even if you can't see shit Cap'n.
"Hello? Who's there?"
"Who's here? I'm here." You feel another finger poke your side. Then there is a fluttering motion and suddenly a weight pressing down on your chest. The voice comes from in front of you now.
"What are you anyway?" it asks as a hand grabs you by the chin and moves your face from one side to the other.
"I'm human" you say, before your sleep-addled brain can stop you.
"Human?" There is a loud sniffing, close to your face. "Oh." She sounds disappointed. "You're her's already aren't you?"
"Who?"
"My sister's." The weight leaves your chest again. "Hmmm." You can hear her hopping from foot to foot. You're so sure you know who this is, but the name and face are locked behind something in your mind.
"What's your name?" But as you ask you hear the sound of footsteps pattering quickly away from you, followed by the quiet click of a door shutting. A moment later you hear it open again.
"Don't go away" she says. More footsteps, then silence.

It takes a few minutes but slowly you manage to open your eyes and lift your head from the pillow. From there everything is easier, sitting up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and grabbing your coat and the whip. You shift a large armchair so it faces the door and then sit down heavily. You feel awful. What the hell was that anyway? It's gotten a little better but you still feel weaker than you should do considering you just got some sleep.

Then she comes bounding through the door. Blond hair, red clothes and holding a twisted metal pole in one hand. The crystals on her wings, if they can be rightly called that, sway wildly as she moves.
"Hello again!" She skips right up to you. With you sitting and her standing you get the uncomfortable impression of something huge towering over you. The feeling passes in an instant as you remember who she must be.
"Hi Flandre." You give her a little wave. Maybe just being friendly is safest. She seems to be a good mood now anyway.
"Sister's not here right now and I can't find Sakuya so that means I can play with you." She looks at you expectantly for a moment before hopping onto your lap and looking up at you. That metal rod is uncomfortably close to your face. She smells different to Remilia, not bad but as if there is another smell below her's, sharp and artificial like a chemical smell. She shifts around a little on your lap and you're surprised to find that from this close up she's not as young as she might seem from a distance, maybe the same age as Remilia. Having her sitting on your lap suddenly becomes a lot more dangerous.

Flandre is pretty cute when you think about it, despite being extremely dangerous. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her towards you. Your better judgement is screaming at you not to, but in this situation surely the best action is to show her some kind of affection. Right?

She stiffens in shock and her metal wand drops to the floor with a clang.
"What ... what are you doing?" she asks.
"Hugging you."
Like this you can see her wings close up. The odd chemical smell is stronger here as well, probably coming from the crystals. You shift your head so you're looking across the top of her head instead. She's still tense and not speaking but at least she's not rendered you down to your base elements yet. Now that you think about it, Flandre has probably never been hugged before in her entire life. Perhaps as a very small child. This must be a strange experience for her. You start to rub her back, you can actually feel the tension in her shoulders.

It takes a few minutes but she eventually relaxes against you, arms still by her side but head resting on your shoulder. You notice she has her eyes shut.
"I like this game." She mumbles.
Then you feel a sharp nick against your neck.
"I saw sister do this once." You can feel Flandre's mouth move against your flesh as she speaks.
You freeze.

She's just too much to resist. More importantly you're so close to pissing yourself in blind terror that you can't even think of moving. The only thing you can do is close your eyes before she ...

She's sucking your neck. Just latched on and sucking. No pain, no biting, no rivers of blood flowing down her chin. Then you remember. She doesn't know where her food comes from! She's just mimicking Remilia. She's seen Remilia with her mouth on people's necks and assumed those people were enjoying whatever was going on. (Were they? What the hell does being bitten feel like anyway?) Flandre is just paying you back for the hug, thats it, just paying you back.

You let out the breath you've been holding. Flandre sits up and giggles.
"That good huh?" she asks.
She must have thought your breath was a sigh of pleasure.
"You know we're in trouble now?" She looks equally happy and worried. Like she just did something wonderful but with terrible consequences.
"Why are we in trouble?" you ask.
"Mmmm." She bites her lip. "I shouldn't have done that, sister is going to be angry."
She has a good point. If she could sense that Remilia had been on you, Remilia should be able to tell that Flandre has been all over you as well.
"I should go before sister gets back from shopping." Flandre puts her hands on your chest and looks up at you. "Promise me you'll do another hugging with me. Come find me again."
You nod. Flandre smiles and jumps down off you. Picking up her wand she rushes out of the room, pausing at the door and waving at you.

Pretty shaken up, but with all your blood inside your body, you get up off the chair.

Reported.

What the fuck possessed you to write this story anon?

epic win

Ahh, now I feel like reading this again.
I hope I have it saved.

>>2886241

He didn't write it apparently.

http://www.sentrygun.com/touhou/LA-SDM.html

... Proceed.
I'm a sucker for good writefaggotry, or bad writefaggotry, or any writefaggotry at the moment. I'm just that bored.

It was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic, just like every other day. The spring air flowed into the room through the open window, bringing with it a cool and refreshing breeze. A young girl was sitting elegantly at her desk, marveling the wondrous object that lay before her.

"I can't believe I let Nitori talk me into testing this thing out for her. It seems so complicated, I can't figure out what goes where and how to set it up. Oh heck, I can't even figure out how to turn it on!...

Oh well, at least it was nice talking to someone, even if it resulted in something troublesome like this."

The young puppeteer sat perplexed on her chair, tinkering with the modern piece of technology. Alice was anxious and determined to get the device to work, and thus she didn't stop until late into the night. The refreshing breeze turned into a stiff wind and darkness flooded the house's insides. Noticing this, Alice stood up, lit a candle, and closed the large glass windows. When she sat back down, she noticed that the device was nearly set up, and all she had left to do was turn it on.

reported.

>>2886309
"Alright, I believe this button should do it.", she said with anticipation. To her excitement, the machine began to buzz and run, indicating that it was beginning to start up. Less than a couple minutes later, the screen of the strange device lit up with various icons and such. Alice remembered Nitori telling her that this was the "Desktop", whatever that was.

Eager to test out the device per her promise to Nitori, Alice put her hand on the mouse and started clicking frantically, until she realized that she was just clicking into empty space. She moused over an icon that she found quite interesting: a small blue and orange sphere. Below it was text that read "FireRan Browser".

"I wonder what this one will do if I click on it", pondered Alice. To her utmost enjoyment, as soon as she clicked on it her screen almost immediately changed completely. "Ah, this must be the Web Browser Nitori told me about. She said that this was probably the most popular feature of her invention."

>>2886309
Not this one ;_;

>>2886313
In time, Alice got used to this new device Nitori called a "Computer", and eventually all the commands and whatnot would just come naturally as if she had been doing this forever. In that time, many other people took liking to this invention, including many people from the human village.

One day, Alice came across a website with lots of texts and images. When she asked Nitori about this, she said it was a Message Board, a place where people would post messages accompanied with images about various subjects. She noticed that one subject was very popular, a game called Uohout, created by a man called NUZ. She later learned that this was what they called a curtain fire shooter, and that it was really popular in the human village. Alice decided to try these out for herself, as many people exclaimed how fun they were.

The first time she decided play, Alice was quite confused. First of all, she couldn't decide which character to chose. There were many, after all. Anon, John, Steve and Ryan were the main ones, with many side characters as well.

>>2886319
In the beginning, Alice wasn't very good, however as the days passed she got better and better and was eventually able to move up in the levels. However, one day Alice discovered that these shooting games weren't the only things about of this game called Ouhout. She also found out at the various doujins and fan-made comics existed, each one with great artwork and funny or dramatic story lines. Alice immersed herself in these stories, laughing at the hilarious jokes involving the stereotypes assigned to the characters, and sobbing at the stories of lost love and heartbreak.

Alice started developing a certain liking towards the character named "Anon", which was short for Anonymous. He was a lonely character who was always made fun of by everyone else. Day in and day out he was satirized and ridiculed, even though he tried his best to make friends with the others. As such, he spent almost all of his life inside his small, resolute home, practicing his Danmaku or reading manga. Although you couldn't see his face, you could tell that Anon was fairly attractive, which was a surprise considering his situation.

>>2886326
s time passed, Alice soon became infatuated with this heartfelt yet unbefriended character. She would fantasize being together with him, comforting him in his times of melancholy and going out together as an act of their love. She would lament over the though of being with him forever, enjoying themselves together, having kids, growing old as a couple, etcetera. She wanted to give him the love and appreciation that he desperately deserved, most of all because she knew exactly how he felt. It hurt Alice knowing how woebegone he must feel.

However, one day Alice came to an inconsolable realization. She realized that Anonymous was not real, and never would be real. She realized that both he and herself would be lonely forever, separated by 2dimensional and 3dimensional barriers. She realized that they would never be together, never share the beautiful view of the sunset, never hold hands while walking down a park trail, never have a peaceful picnic on the edge of the forest with a beautiful view of the lake.

"This isn't fair! This just isn't fair! Why can't he be real? Why has fate been so cruel, to present me with such a perfect man, only to be rejected by this barrier of woe, this realization of dismay?"

A single tear flowed down Alice's cheek, grazing her soft yet troubled face and shortly falling to the ground.

Alice cried herself to sleep that night, her hopes and emotions dashed, her future bleak and dim. Aside from the resolute sobbing, it was a quiet day in The Forest of Magic. Just like every other day. As such, it would stay that way forever...

Looking ahead of you as you leave the darkened mansion behind you, you are slightly surprised at what you see. Not one. Not two. Not three.
But four people waiting for you.

"HEY! HEY! LOOKIE!" Before you can blink, aqua haired ice fairy bowls right into you, knocking you down against the grass, her face plastered with a childish grin, her blue eyes wide.

"Please don't hurt him, Cirno." The worried voice is evidently none other than Meiling's. The gatekeeper looks over, and peers down at you. "Sir, are you alright?" She brushes some of her bangs out of her eyes.

"Oh!" Before you know it, Keine is kneeling next to you, with a similar yet more mature look of concern upon her face. Her air of shy dignity remains as always. "I have some salve and bandages here..." She reaches into a small pouch at her side.

"Jeez. You'd think you were stabbed." Came the groan as Mokou waltzes over, looking at you and emitting a suffering sigh. "Keine, stop messing up your dress, I know how you are about grass stains. Kid, you're not dead, right?" She raises an eyebrow.

Who are you going to spend Valentines day with?

I hate to say it, but I'm going to be by myself this year. It seems like no one in Gensokyo even remembered to give me any valentines. Isn't that funny? I tried to ask Marisa about it but she said she was too busy and had some stuff to do at the Hakurei shrine. It's alright though, I've got Hourai and Shanghai to keep me company and we're going to make some valentines chocolate maybe just in case some one comes over and wants some chocolate. I'd really like if someone came over, just once. We could drink tea and have chocolate and I could show them my lovely doll collection. I want to show Marisa but she always says she's busy and has to go to the Hakurei shrine. I wonder what she does there? It must be quite an exciting place, but when I try to go there Reimu just tells me to go away and leave her and Marisa alone. It makes me feel a bit sad, but I can always come home and tell Hourai and Shanghai about it. They listen to me. They're good dolls. They never call Alice names like "creepy", "leaks poop" and "freak".

Still, this valentines day I wish I could have found out what it's like to hold someone. I once worked up the nerve to ask Marisa, but she said some horrible things she couldn't possibly have really meant and told me to play with my dolls. It must feel so nice to have someone in your arms. I bet it's really nice. Oh well, maybe next valentines day someone will come here and eat chocolate and we can try holding eachother. It's really curious that no one came this year, isn't it? I guess they were all busy, valentines isn't a holiday or anything. That's probably it. Lots of important stuff can come up on a day like today.

>>2886366
It must be wonderful to do small things like eat meals with another person around. It's usually so quiet around here, with no one coming to visit and me being alone all the time. I don't mind it so much, though. I have Hourai and Shanghai and all my dolls to take care of, and they keep me company even if they can't talk. Have I told you how good at listening they are? They'll just sit there and listen for hours to me talking about any little thing. I once tried having a long conversation with Marisa but after a few minutes she told me to shut up. I don't think she meant it though. She said she was busy and going to Hakurei shrine. I probably interrupted her from doing something important and she said some rash words that she didn't really mean.

I really hope I can spend this valentines day with Hourai and Shanghai. For some reason they haven't moved at all, and I'm a little bit sad because they're usually the only ones around besides me and it's hard to find anyone else to listen. It'd be nice to have them up and about because without their help the chocolate I'm going to make will turn out bitter, and that would be just awful if anyone happens to show up. I'm only a little bit sad, because I'm sure Hourai and Shanghai will get up again in time to make chocolate. Just in case anyone drops by. It's funny that no one's ever come by here, isn't it? Not even for valentines chocolates. Can you believe that? I've been here by myself for as long as I can remember. I even made a funny song about it. "The ground is down, the sky is up, and Alice is meant to be alone." Well, actually Marisa made the song about me.

You done yet?

>>2886372
It's a little bit dusty in here, isn't it? All this dust is making my eyes water. I guess I should clean up a little in case anyone comes to have chocolate on valentines day. It would be nice to have someone come. Maybe if they ate my chocolate they might like it enough to even try giving me a hug. It would be my first one. I think that would be really good. Hugging someone must feel so good. I don't leak poop, it's okay to hug me.

I guess I should start getting ingredients for the chocolate. I should get enough for everyone, just in case they all decide to come here and surprise me on valentines. I'll make lots of chocolate. I'm sure everyone will want some.
Getting hugged must be great. I know you'll be surprised by this, but I've never been hugged. It seems like the kind of thing that would make valentines with another person nice. Isn't that funny? Little old me never having been hugged? I think it's kind of funny. I guess I'm just unlucky. I almost got hugged once but Marisa told the person who was going to hug me that I leak poop and then they didn't hug me. I felt a little bit sad but I suppose it's alright since it was just a joke.

>castlevania
>touhou

[X] Attempt to hug China
Stepping forward, you embrace her tightly, before she can react, bringing her close to you. "Please, I really am sorry." You whisper gently into her ear, and hear a shocked intake of breath. However, she firmly pushes you back, looking straight at you with large, crystal blue eyes.
"No. Please, sir. Go inside." Much more powerful than you, you are shoved back more than a couple of paces, and stumble right into the mansion, and she shuts the doors in front of you. Perhaps you should have waited or talked with her more.
[ ] Drown your ronery tears in a bed, and sleep
[ ] Go to the library
[ ] Go into the basement
[ ] Go to Remilia's study
[ ] Find Sakuya
[ ] Jump into the lake
[X] Jump into the lake
Opening the doors once more, you rush past the surprised Meiling and dive straight into the lake. "FUCK THIS! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!" You sink like a fucking rock as you drop down to the bottom of the lake...
The lake wins again, Anon.
The lake wins fucking again.
---- BAD END ----

>>2886293
Report fags should fucking die.

This gets a Polish Woman Seal of Approval.

Anonymous stood on the shore of the Scarlet Devil Lake, looking towards the horizon and beyond, deep in thought. A gentle breeze filled with flower petals caressed his face, as well as those he had come to call friends over these past five days. Meiling, the ever vigilant gate guard, Sakuya, the perfect maid, Cirno, the childish ice fairy, Keine, the scholar and protector of all humanity. Everyone had felt it, even the spirit of the lake herself, who had patiently waited for her love to return.

"I've spoken with Remilia. She says that she'll protect the Scarlet Devil Lake for as long as she lives, you have her word."

"Thank you, Anonymous. Now, even when I am gone, the lake will continue to thrive."

"That's right. But everything will be fine now... Everything..."

"Yes... But I am... A bit tired..."

"Rest, then. I will wait for you, so... Sleep as long as you like. I'll make you eggs for breakfast."

"I... Think I'd like that... Anonymous..."

The spirit closes her eyes, her radiant smile fading with the setting sun.

It is said that Anonymous shed a single tear. Every day, for the rest of his life, albeit the brief existence of a human, he would awaken at first light, prepare breakfast for two, and dine on the shores of the Scarlet Devil Lake.

NOT ENOUGH WHIP AND TEAR

Cool stories, bro

The bellmont's are immune to charms of female vampires.

All that is going through his head is " I bet her tainted soul would make an amazing whip" or " I wonder exactly how long this clock subweapon last" but alas that is a thought for every female enemy.

You are a proud warrior in East Asia, serving a most charismatic and ambitious young warlord by the name of Temujin. In his glorious unification of his ancestral homeland, you serve him with the might and energy of a hundred men. After the most magnificent of battles, you see a strange distortion of space, where two oddly clothed women, one who somehow appears to have several large furry tails, are dragging exhausted sleeping soldiers. You, knowing no fear, charge towards the women full bore. However, you misjudge the distortion, falling through time and space.

When you finally gather your wits, you find yourself in a strange world, one you gather must be tales of the land far to the east beyond the sea. You find you have landed in a place called "Hakurei Shrine", and that the lady in charge is a miko by the name of Reimu. She's rather annoyed by your less than pleasant smell and tendency to devour a small feast at one sitting. Worse yet, you don't have any of this "money" stuff she keeps going on about. She mutters under her breath how you must be another "oni".

>>2886499
Upon those words, a young girl with horns sticking out of her head leaps at you and pins you to the ground. "Another oni!" she squeals with delight. The two of you certainly seem sure to get along well together.

As time passes, you enjoy the company of this young oni girl by the name of Suika. Even your remarkable strength is easily matched by this girl, and her tolerance for alcohol outdoes even your own. She loves competition, and you find yourself exhausted, bruised, with many hangovers, and with a very sore pelvis (Although you agree that both of you won that competition very much.), and you couldn't imagine a greater reward for a warrior who must have been slain in battle and granted the delights of the heavens.

>>2886502
One hot summer's day, you mention to Suika that the sun is a terrible thing, far too hot and far too bright. She agrees, and insists you two get drunk in order to cool down. Her answer for everything, and not a bad one at that. After what seems to be endless amounts of this liquor she calls "sake", you get a brilliant idea. "I should punch the sun!" you exclaim. Suika agrees emphatically. However, you sadly remember that humans cannot fly, and you just can't quite reach the sun to punch it, even though you try for a full hour. Suika then has a brilliant idea of her own. She will use her awesome strength to throw you at the sun, so you can punch it.

>>2886505
You fly through the air so fast, you are shocked to find that up in the sky really high, everything is black with a bunch of tiny spots of light. There doesn't seem to be any air up here... However, the woman you saw on that fateful day peeks her head at you, somehow traveling at the same speed you are, and explains briefly "Mongols are like Batman. You can breathe in space." What this means, you never manage to find out. As you reach the sun, you punch it with all your might. Or rather, you fly into the sun with your fist mightily stretched out. Even a mighty Mongol quickly burns to a crisp when he lands on the sun.

Suika has realized this, far too late. She's sad that her new friend is gone. However, the freak occurrence of a total solar eclipse the next day warms her heart. You really did beat the crap out of the sun after all.

;_;

REPORTED REPORTEDDDD

>>2886196
Has the story ended yet?
Any where I can read the rest of this writefaggotry?

>>2888474
http://www.sentrygun.com/touhou/LA-SDM.html

Spent the whole day reading it, it's actually quite entertaining.

>>2888504
Thanks, russian bro.

>>2888504
VANK YOU

This is still here?
I read it last night before I went to bed. SDM LA, only good fanfic to come from touhouproject.

>>2888633
Didn't it start on /jp/ and got moved to touhouproject when it got banned here?

>>2888655
"You Wake Up in Gensokyo" started in /jp/ written by the AliceMargatroid tripfag in Anon mode.
YWUiG alone was tolerable, but hundreds of "Where is GM (Gensokyo Man) threads" got someone to report it to his "janitor friend" on the irc channel.