/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>28193293
Those are big words. You're in for a brutal hell.

>>28193293
Imagine learning to use a sword in a world of danmaku

>>28193824
lol
Look at Meiling. A master martial artist with no weaknesses in a world where everyone uses magical bullets to solve their problems.

I want Youmu to cut off my dick

>>28193706
What would it be like?

>>28193824
If someone throwing a bunch of potatoes can be a spellcard, then I'm sure you could make a sword work

>>28193293
I'd like to practice my swordsmanship on her if y'know what I mean. I'd like to teach her how to use a sword if you catch my drift. I want her to teach me how to thrust if you know what I'm sayin. I could show her how to sheathe a blade knawmean. I would fuck her.

>>28194534
Extremely painful.

>>28196290
>>28196290
>>28196290
>>28196290
Well tell me how. I want to know what the training would consist of, why it would be painful

>>28197674
Do you think anyone here is a swordsman? Youmu probably runs a hundred miles a day and lifts continuously while maintaining perfect composure, and abiding to Yuyuko's whims.

>>28197674
Being an out of shape NEET means even getting you to the point where you'll actually be able to properly exercise without breaking down is going to take some time. Youmu might not even allow even such a grace period exist to break you in, and instead force you to finish those exercises if you even want to eat; but she does make some nutritious meals when you do get to.
'Practice' sparring, if it could even be called that, leaves no holds barred. Youmu's flavor of teaching upholds the standard 'no pain no gain', and that if you don't taste the intent to kill from your enemy each fight, you won't learn anything from it.

>>28228866
>Practice
You mean getting murdered to pieces

>>28228866
I imagine that Youmu was trained the same way, so it's only natural to expect such hell. I would still ask to be her student; having just that one thing to focus on would make life much simpler, and would teach me practical skills necessary to survive in Gensokyo. I think my hardest issue would be coming up for a reason why I wanted to be her student.

Literally just imagine being Youmu's apprentice at the Hakugyokurou. Your day begins early as your slumber is interrupted by Youmu seemingly attempting to assassinate you in your sleep. After you've apparently passed Youmu's test, she sends you on your morning 10km run with her phantom to make sure you don't cheat. Since you're just a normal human, Yuyuko has already eaten what could've been your breakfast by the time you return. Despite your title, you have a difficult time actually learning anything since Youmu does not believe in holding back during "practice" spars. Your practice consists of rigorous exercise, spars, and training of techniques. You're occasionally forced to assist Youmu in the kitchen and the garden, but you've grown so accustomed to these detours that they may as well be part of your regular routine. By the time your "practice" is over, it's time to help prepare dinner. Not for you, of course, but for Yuyuko. Youmu takes care of most of the cooking, but you're responsible for cooking dinner for both you and Youmu. The silence is showcases the awkwardness between the two of you, Youmu clearly has little experience having a student and isn't sure how to present herself. You finish making your dinner, and Youmu goes to serve Yuyuko. Of course, from this point, things tend to get crazy. Youmu typically does not let you eat unless you manage to pass Youmu's "tests". Some nights you'll have it easy and she will just have you practice a few stances, while others you'll be running 10km while Youmu hunts you down. The night ends with you sitting on the porch with Youmu, drinking tea. You eventually pass out from exhaustion and Youmu drags you back to your room. Not that she would tell you that if you asked, she would rather say you stumbled there yourself. Of course, in 3 or 4 hours, your slumber will once again be interrupted by Youmu seemingly attempting to assassinate you. Is that REALLY something you want?

>>28259081
>she sends you on your morning 10km run with her phantom to make sure you don't cheat.
how the fuck would you cheat anyway

>>28260396
No breaks

I want Yuyuko to show me the hell that is being her personal chef!

>>28276438
Holy shit, this scared me. The Sakuya one is even worse.

>>28288279
It's only a ghost

>>28288279
You mean the one where she's peeking from the doorway?

I want Youmu to teach me how to love

>>28193706
I want to become Youmu's househusband and smirk at all the students she sadistically whips, knowing how soft and clingy she is after work!

>>28295888
A scary ghost!
>>28297679
Yes.

How does Youmu afford all of Yuyuko’s food?

>>28297679
>>28288279

Someone post it, I haven't seen it in ages

>>28276438
What do ya mean this is supposed to be scary?

I want to go out to dinner with Youmu

>>28464349
Me too brother.

>>28323550
>>28366067
Found it.

>>28482628
It's like when Sakuya's hunting me down to rape me in EraTohoTW

>>28482692
Dude, it's only bad if you get it over 50%.

>>28483187
I like to get her to 100%
It's honestly kinda scary when I have to spend all day hiding in the library out of fear of Sakuya

>>28482628
Even the thumbnail is scaring me to shit. No way I'm expanding it!

Youmu is cool!

Is Youmu's phantom-half tangible?

Look at Youmu's smug "heh" look, it's so dorky.

>>28193293
yes

>>28229304
Youmu likes to "savor" her victims before killing them. The 'sparring' will consist of her violently beating you up, fracturing and breaking bones, and possibly causing brain damage if she gets too excited. If she manages to hold back and not turn you into a vegetable, she'll tend to your wounds and heavily compliment you, so you develop Stockholm syndrome and doesn't run away.
When she gets too horny, she'll suggest you two use real swords, saying that it's completely safe because you're practically a master. She'll first disarm you so she can see the fear and helplessness in your face in your last moments. She'll also make it slow and very painful.

>>28661303
Why does this make me horny

>>28591909
probably not

>>28193293
I want to kill Youmu and maker her 100% phantom!

>>28684824
Why would you do that?

>>28661303
This isn't true! This is slander! Youmu is a good, kind teacher that does her best to teach and help her students learn! She instills good values and teaches valuable life lessons as well as teaches how to cook and maintain stuff well!

>>28259081
Yes because we'll get married

You know for someone who's noted to dual wield, Youmu sure seems to only use one sword a lot of the time

>>28194063
> a world where everyone uses magical bullets to solve their problems.
This is literally America desu!

>>28769571
Youmu looks like she’s gonna eat that phantom, what do you think it taste like?

>>28777909
No, that's just the south. The extreme deep parts.

>>28838884
Me and youmu growing old together

>>28838884
Man the story behind that photo is great

>>28194802
You could pull a Gilgamesh or Emiya and throw swords at people. It seems to work for them.

>>28841134
What is the story?

>>28844007
>Old man walks up to Youmu cosplayer and asks where the library is
>Youmu cosplayer is surprised and stunned
>Old man assumes cosplayer doesn’t speak whatever language he was speaking in
>Starts asking in Japanese
>Stuns cosplayer even more
>Someone eventually directs him to the library

>>28838884
You failed your philosophy 101, Youmu.

>>28849413
I thought what happened was youmu gave a pre-planned answer in japanese (I guess about not knowing where it was) and the old man proceeded to respond and continue talking to her in japanese

>>28849413
It's a bullshit. The cosplayer is russian as well and there now reason he would decide she's japanese, let alone ask a foreigner where's library.

>>28849959
This sound more plausible.

>>28844007
The old man was overjoyed that his favorite 2hu came to the outside world. He then proceeded to buy her ice-cream and pat her head.

>>28193293
I'm going to teach her the dull end of the bat because all ghosts and poltergeists must be purified.

>>28892074
I'll show her the dull end of my bat if you know what I mean.

>>28866725
The real mystery is, why would the old dude specifically ask this suspicious weirdo wearing strange, foreign clothes, for the local library?

>>28953902
I'm pretty sure you'd ask just about anyone, but that's Russia they're talking about. I don't know who the people are, but I'm sure you'd have better luck asking someone who seems to be interacting openly instead of a random pedestrian.

>>28483271
>I like to get her to 100%
speaking of which, I forgot that the achievements tab had multiple sections. It was a surprise to see 70-90%ers.

Youmu is dangerous!!!

>>29025800
Without exception

>>29179446
a dork, no matter how much you dress her up, is still a dork

>>29191441
careful dude.
she might look different but she's still dangerous to mock lightly.

>>29076951
>>29097816
bless this man for over 10 years of drawing youmu

>>29229444
This reminds me of the banquet Youmu was going to have for Yuyuko in the Summers Dream anime.

>>28276438
Ehh, that's not too scary.
She just hasn't eaten in an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WCtxsRcbQM

>>29306509
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WCtxsRcbQM

It's that time of the year again where you like to be warm.

>>29322640
youmu always looks so lovely in winter clothes

i want Youmu to cuck me

>>29330695
She wouldn't considerate marrying a /trash/nigger in first place

>>29330695

>>29322640
>>29328328
I love cold weather. The feeling of the cold is so nice, cold weather fashion is the best, and the foods you eat in cold weather always taste better

>>29333066
To me it's mostly the feeling of knowing how you can protect against the cold: you can bundle up all cozy, you can eat / drink something warm, fireplace, and you can enjoy being outside in the snow when you know after you get inside you soak in the warm air.
I also imagine cuddling is very warm.

>>29334044
I love all that stuff too. The cold really can't be beat

>>28193824
fighting games tho

will he come back?

friend-zoning youmu after she tries to ask you out

>>29310789
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WCtxsRcbQM
I like it
.

>>29353550
>friend-zoning Youmu after she tries to ask you out
Why would you smash her heart like that?

>>29353550
Some people just like to see the world burn

>>29386393
activating yandere youmu is pretty good too.

>>29386393
>>29405513
Is this EraTW?

>>29405513
>activating yandere youmu is pretty good too.
I require more information

>>29405569
>>29386393
is.
>>29352897
Who knows.

>>29430481
Woah i've gotta make her my lover now

>>29405513
Tell me how to do this

>>29481959
i want to punch that face

>>29483235

>>28193293
Youmu wears blue pantsu!

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROAAAAAAAACHING

sure would be embarrassing if you got raped by youmu

>>29581480
I mean, it's not like you'd have a choice at that point.
It's either what she wants, or getting impaled by a sword.

>>29581480
>>29608068
Would she let me be her student after she's done?

I said my sword was a tool of justice. Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now... Now I'm not so sure. And besides, this isn't my sword.

>>29581480
>>29608068
Can't she just ask me to have sex with her instead of threatening me with a sword?

>>29623191
Whose is it?

>>29625316
she's an awkward dork, what did you expect?

>>29623191
>Swords don't kill people. I kill people. With swords.

>>29623191
>not used in anger
>not used for vengence
Anger clouds judgement. In her own thirst for blood, she shall meet her end at the hands of the just.

>>29639253
her "sword"

>>29581480
What would being raped by Youmu be like? Would she be dorky and awkward and desperate, or cruel and dominant and focused?

>>29680187
Totally unskilled, but you cum anyway because her hole is so tight.
That and she read secondary material to get the slightest idea on how to move.

>>29680187
She'd be very forceful, rough and violent. She's trying to get off, not play games, so you either keep your mouth shut and take off your pants as quickly as possible or she's going to hurt you. A lot.

>>29680187
Mixture of both, extremely dorky and awkward but one wrong move on your end and your head's coming off.

>>29681324
>>29681337
It'd be awkward when you get murdered by youmu but your ghost is still hanging out there.
Maybe her ghost half rapes your ghost afterwards.

YOUMU IS FOR SLOW SEX

YOUMU IS FOR SLOW SEX IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION

YOUMU IS SLOW

YOUMU I

>>29683009
But that's the exact opposite of slow sex!

>>29707571
Well, what's slow then?

>>29743035
youmu

>>29793644
I doubt that notion

youmu..

Youmu before she sends you to meet your maker. Goodbye.

>>29969556
I wanna execute a groper as soon as the train stops, making it the first public display of capital punishment in yaers

>>29969556
I wanna execute a groper as soon as the train stops, making it the first public display of capital punishment in years

>>29969997
But Youmu is enjoying it.

>>28259081
>Is that REALLY something you want?
of course

Don't disturb Youmu when she's reading.

>>29971454
Fuck off, crossboarder.

>>29969556
I wanna join the groper, along with the other passengers, as soon as the train stops, making it the first public orgy in years.

>>29973192
Why? Just have her sit inbetween your legs and read with her. Surely she doesn't want her back against the cold wall.

post christmas youmus!

>>30034220

>>30034220
I don't have them, sorry.

>>29405513
It's been two weeks man! I need to know how to do this!

I wanna sneak up behind Youmu and

Youmu no!

>>28259081
>you have a difficult time actually learning anything since Youmu does not believe in holding back during "practice" spars
t.never trained martial arts in their life. Having done both judo and kendo, I can tell you that no senpai or sensei holds back during randori or shiai, ever. You're supposed to learn everything during the waza training part of the training session, which tends to occupy a good 95% of the time, then actually apply it during sparring. If you actually learned anything during waza training you will be able to apply it against a more experienced opponent during sparring, even if it takes weeks or months of getting beaten until you pull it off. Anyways, yes, that is something I want, it sounds fun.

>>30198626
The implication in that part is that you're "sparring" with shinken and that she's not holding back. As in she's trying to kill you with a real sword. Also as far as I know there is little to no sparring in iaido or koryu classes in modern times, but I of course haven't trained in iaido or koryu because there are no dojos near me so I may be wrong.

>>30198897
>The implication in that part is that you're "sparring" with shinken and that she's not holding bac.k
Well, not even the usual traditional schools of kenjutsu that trained did it with shinken back in the day. The whole idea behind the creation of the shinai and bogu is that traditional schools would spar with bokken and no protection, which was leading to the deaths or seriously injury of their students.
>Also as far as I know there is little to no sparring in iaido or koryu classes in modern times
I took that into consideration but that poster specifically said "Your practice consists of rigorous exercise, spars, and training of techniques", which is pretty much how modern budo are practiced. Anyways, the dojo I go to also teaches iaido, you'd be right in assuming that there's not sparring in it.

>>30199496
>Well, not even the usual traditional schools of kenjutsu that trained did it with shinken back in the day.
That's the point anon, she's not exactly giving you the best instruction
>I took that into consideration but that poster specifically said "Your practice consists of rigorous exercise, spars, and training of techniques"
I wrote that btw, but when put into the context of iaido and things like kenjutsu and koryu what I mean is that the training she's giving you is consisting of exercise (a perfectly normal part of any martial art), spars (see the quote above), and the training of katas and stances and other things related to your actual swordsmanship. It's no different really to any other martial art, you could say "Your practice consists of rigorous exercise, spars, and training of techniques" in regards to just about every martial art

>>30199780
>That's the point anon, she's not exactly giving you the best instruction
I dunno anon, that sounds pretty out of character to me then. Youmu is the last person in Gensokyo who would display this amount of murderous recklessness. We may like to meme about Youmu being a dork and all but it doesn't take the best of the best to know that sharp swords are not toys. She'd be harsh, if Youki's supposed training style is anything to go by, but not retarded.

>>30200760
>I dunno anon, that sounds pretty out of character to me then
Well of course, when I first wrote that it was in a thread themed around Youmu being a psychopathic killer who got off on killing, I could probably try and make one that's more reasonable since I have a bit of time.

>>30201079
Then please do, some day.

>>30202310
Literally just imagine being Youmu's apprentice at the Hakugyokurou. Your day begins early as you are woken up by Youmu shaking you. After you’ve managed to prove to Youmu that you’re awake by actually getting up, she sends you on your morning run; telling you that you’d have to be quick if you don’t want Yuyuko to eat your breakfast. Since you have been training with Youmu for a bit now, you actually manage to get back right as Yuyuko reaches for your set. After breakfast, your day begins as Youmu has you help with her gardening work. With your combined effort, with of course a couple of mistakes on your part, you both manage to complete the gardening work in good time, leaving you with time to actually begin your swordsmanship training after lunch. Your swordsmanship practice consists of practicing various kata and stances, as well as studying about various aspects of fighting via scholarly texts. Occasionally Youmu will ask you to spar with her in order to test how well you have been practicing. You do have to keep on top of your practice, because Youmu does not hold back during these sparring sessions and has seriously injured you in the past during them despite using bokuto. After you are finished with your training for the day, Youmu has you help her prepare dinner. Making dinner for Yuyuko “Black Hole” Saigyouji and herself was already difficult enough, so adding you into the mix requires you to help out. When you first came to the Hakugyokurou the awkward silence between you and Youmu was palpable, she was not used to having a student and was not sure how to conduct herself. However now that you have been around for a while, you’ve began to have more cordiale conversations outside of training. The night ends with you sitting on the porch with Youmu, drinking tea. After a day of rigorous exercise, hard yardwork, and intense training, you’re absolutely exhausted, barely able to bring the cup of tea to your lips. You eventually give in to your exhaustion and collapse of the porch, leading to Youmu dragging you back to your futon; not that she would tell you that if you asked of course, she would rather say you stumbled there yourself. After about 6-7 hours, you’ll feel the familiar sensation of Youmu shaking you awake, leading to yet another day of exhaustive work. Is that REALLY something you want?

How's this?

>>30204176
Better. Now I just need to know how the fuck one would even get into that situation to begin with.

>>30272268
looks nice... but it's completely out of season my dear Youmu...

>>30322647
please be patient with her...

>>30322647
Maybe she's trying to seduce you but you're too dense to realize.

>>29928357
Only a dork could pull off a face that annoying.

>>29928357
All I hear when I see Youmu's smug expression is:
>"heh, nothing personnel"

>>30381325
Youmu tummy.

Ghostjob

>>29229391
>10 years of drawing youmu
Now that's dedication if I ever saw it.

I can't believe Youmu is fucking half-dead!

>>30439612
Almost 15 years, actually. He released his first Youmu doujinshi at C69.

>>30480475
>15 years, actually.
Respect where respect is due.

Youmu canonically does not get time off and is severely underpaid. We need to do something about Yuyuko's exploitation of her loyal gardener

>>30483689
There is only one solution.
Subdue Youmu
Subdue Yukari
Exterminate Yuyuko

uqf

>>30198626

>>30567089
Youmu is a very sheltered girl and has very strange ideas on romance and intimacy!

>>30567204
Eirin. What the fuck did you do to my beloved Youmu.

>>30574904
Eirin's shady drugs fixed her Anon! Isn't she better this way?

>>30578358
No, whatever the she did made life worse. Now my balls hurt every morning because Youmu's unending urges. What was in that stuff?

>>30381325
hmm. I don't see the muscles a swordsman would have.
Youmu's slacking.