/jp/ - Otaku Culture

When they sleep

>>262057
WHAT A TWIST, ZE

Cirno and Mystia will team up with George Carlin so they can pass Keine's history exam.

And then they play a game of danmaku with Death in the sequel.

th11: they break into the real world and fight fighter planes and shit

>>262110
They're fucked.

When Yukari sleeps

They're the level 1 and 2 bosses in Touhou eleven, they are dispatched by Reimu the Destroyer as she marches on Kyoto.

>>262128
If they were in the outside world, they'd be too busy to be bosses.

Cirno would head to the Amazon to freeze some unique and colorful frogs. However, while playing around with them, she is poisoned and dies.

Mystia tries to become a real idol singer. However, after a visit to the casting couch doesn't lead her to the success the producer claimed, she turns to modeling. When that falls through, she resorts to low budget porn.

Wriggle finds success doing stage acting with Takarazuka. However, no sooner does she hit the big time, but a jealous Mystia does away with her in a brutal murder-suicide that makes national headlines.

Meiling decides to see what China is really like. She wants to find out what the Olympics are, so she takes up permanent residence in Beijing. After discovering that Gensokyo's currency is not valid in China and cannot be exchanged, she is forced to take up a job. She is currently making Nikes for 5 cents a day.

Yukari and Maribel are not the same person.

Remilia decides to show Sakuya and Patchouli around her old stomping grounds in eastern Europe. With vampire hunting having gone out of style some 200 years ago, and no mikos for 7 thousand miles, she enjoys casually feasting on human blood. Sakuya continues her normal routine, while Patchy collects various books the likes of which were previously only available through Kourindo. Flandre was left in the basement of the SDM, and eventually starves to death, completely forgotten by her family.

Yuyuko drags Youmu around the world, sampling the finest delicacies from every culture. However, while in downtown New York, they are apprehended by Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd. They currently reside in the basement of a decrepit old fire house.

Kaguya has no interest in leaving the bamboo forest until Eirin informs her that a faster internet connection and greater variety of cable channels are available in the outside world. She quickly relocates to a small apartment in Tokyo. However, her source of income is cut off when Eirin is sued for malpractice due to the side effects of her medications and is found to be practicing medicine without a license. With Eirin doing 5 - 10 in prison, and the courts threatening to seize her possessions to pay punitive damages, Kaguya sells Reisen and Tewi to a petting zoo. But the money ran out before Eirin's sentence did. Kaguya was forced to take up a job at a shady Soapland in Roppongi to avoid living on the street.

>>262110
They will have to contend with the real world's miko of rape.... and the HAX that is VIVIT.

>>262263

>>262244 she is poisoned and dies.
GOOD END

>>262536
fuck you

>>262538
Look here Anonymous

Sikieiki gets a job judging the dead in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. While she has no problem with the greatly increased work load, Komachi is not. Komachi is fired and begins a futile search for work. Although actual employment is found to be impossible, she meets a wealthy businessman with a taste for busty redheads and marries him for his money. They turn out to be a match made in heaven, as his unfortunate lack of "endowment" is easily corrected by Komachi's ability to manipulate length and distance.

Suika makes the rounds of the world's biggest parties - Carnivale, Mardis Gras, etc. She settles in Las Vegas between trips. But a few too many DUI's lands her in the county jail for 2 years. There, in addition to attending court-ordered AA meetings, she joins the Nation of Islam and changes her name to Muhammad.

Alice takes advantage of the internet to try to make some friends. She maintains active blogs on myspace, facebook, etc, but not person ever views any of profiles or postings. She responds to a craigslist add requesting that a young woman who wants to make lots of new friends meet up with them. Once there, she is bound and ball-gagged, and then made the star of a rather intense bukkake movie as dozens of men wearing Richard Nixon masks masturbate onto her. She is then raped in every conceivable orifice from every conceivable angle while the cameras continue to roll until she eventually blacks out. When she comes to, she is laying in a bathtub full of ice and finds surgical scars over her abdomen. After calling 911, she dies in the ambulance as she is raced to the hospital to have her kidneys replaced.

>>262671
>dozens of men wearing Richard Nixon masks masturbate onto her.

>>262671

Poor Alice

I actually was going to write a story involving organ thieves and touhou too

>>262045
Have you read lovers high?

>>262671
This would be a good time for a "But this is how it REALLY happened..." moment.

>>262805
Like Alice is instead one of the victims of a brutal serial killer or something like that?

Marisa pursues her love of mushrooms and scours the world for delicious new breeds. After catching wind of so-called "magic" mushrooms, she makes a bee-line to San Francisco. Convinced that the psychedelic visions she has are indeed magical, she begins extensive research on them by consuming them in great quantities. Always in need of more potent research material, she begins following a Grateful Dead tribute band, and discovers that magical effects can also be obtained from hemp, coca, and poppy derivatives. After a police raid on a concert, she is sentenced to 20 years in the state penitentiary. There, she becomes the plaything of a surprisingly spry octogenarian doing life without parole for killing her husband who is affectionately known to cell block inmates as Granny Smith because in the absence of proper sex toys she likes to make use of nice, plump apples.

Aya finds great success as a freelance photographer, and does work for a variety of tabloids. She decides to expand her journalism career, and finds continued success as a correspondent for a major news network. After becoming a minor national celebrity, she is offered a chance to model for Playboy. She accepts, and the issue featuring her is one of the highest selling to date, but the network is shocked and the scandal destroys her career. She is currently doing photos for the Weekly World News, and moonlights with Hustler - both as a photographer and a model.

>>262959
Good for Aya.....I guess

Yuka is content to travel the world and see all the different flowers. However, when she happens upon a florist's shop and sees the person in side snipping roses, she cannot control her rage. The resulting casualties include the store owner, two customers, Yuka herself, and 12 members of the SWAT team dispatched to subdue her.

Letty moves to Norway. With the extended wintery weather, she is able to enjoy a much larger portion of the year. But when she finds out about Cirno's demise, her depression leads her to kill herself by going to Kenya.

Kanako, Suwako, and Sanae decide to expand their temple into a widespread religion. However, not realizing the Gensokyo's demographics are not the same as the outside world's their advertising methods do not change. As such, they attract almost nothing but young girls. They and their new followers gather at a large complex near a metropolitan area. Statements describing the awesome power of their danmaku is misinterpreted by the media and authorities to indicate that they possess a large cache of firearms. Their complex is burned to ground by federal marshalls, killing everyone inside.

>>263121
>12 members of the SWAT team
It won't be enough to take me down, Anon !

>>262671
i think you meant

>>komachi moves to mexico and continues sleeping all day and not working

>>262445
I'd pet Reisen, if you know what i mean.

>>263171
ok ok more than half of the military and they end up having to nuc you

>her depression leads her to kill herself by going to Kenya.

I laughed way too hard for this.

>>263121
>>263171
>>263220
If we are talking about the Touhouvers wouldn't they just send VIVIT or Hirono to kill Yuka?

After Kaguya disappeared from the forest, Mokou didn't know what to do with herself. Her main pastime was battling with her immortal counterpart. And the downside to being immortal is that you have a lot of time to pass. She decided to put her talents to good use and joined the military. But fighting with M-16's was nowhere near as enjoyable as danmaku, and she retired after one tour of duty. Oh how she missed the rush of being torn to shreds, disembowled, incinerated, and otherwise mutilated. She dreamed once again feeling the masochistic joy of being stabbed, flogged, pierced with arrows, decapitated, and crucified. It was not too long before she discovered other people enjoy the pleasure of inflicting and experiencing agony. After a trip to a nearby dungeon, her unique abilities made her an overnight legend among the BDSM crowd. Once she realized how much people would be willing to pay to dismember her with whips, chains, all manner of other gruesome equipment, she was making money hand over fist. And she relished every second of it.

Reimu is highly depressed that her friends have forsaken her and have scattered to the corners of the globe. She is stuck at the temple, tending to what remains of the Hakurei Boundary. Not content to be left behind, she marries the first man who will accept her in an attempt to have a daughter who will take her place as shrine maiden. But luck is against her and she has a son. Only a woman can inherit the Hakurei family's powers and duties, so she tries again. But once again she has a son. And another, and another. It is not until her eight child that she finally has a daughter. However, after so many years of being home-bound due to pregnancy and child rearing, she had lost the desire to chase after her old friends. And so she quietly retired and lived the uneventful life of a housewife, married to a man she never loved.

wow those are some sad tales

there are no flat chests in touhou

>>265206
Wat.jpg

>>265206