/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>I want to know what your secret to wanting to live is.
having family that cares about me is enough, and friends are a bonus

The burg.

>>25888258
I do not have the mean to travel to Gensokyo, so I remain within this world

>>25888330
You sound at peace. How?

>>25888371
I just accept the fact that I cannot travel to Gensokyo, While my heart long for it, I know that I will most likely never see it so I try to make the most of my life, even if it very small. A quiet accepting of this flaw world.

Mostly the attitude of taking it easy.

>>25888258
Too lazy to do something that will happen on its own eventually anyway.

>>25889637
How do you deal with the constant negative feelings, or do you?

>>25888258
Life is an experience you probably experience only once. At least until this universe dies and reborn, then you might as well enjoy the brief 70-80 years of lifetime you have, lifetime that its just an instant compared to how long you will be dead.

Also, technology. I wonder if we'll even get waifubots/proper VR in out lifetime.
And I can't stop looking at our own insanity.

I still want to die, but I'm in a comfortable situation right now. if my life suddenly take a turn for the worst, I'll an hero. For now, its not that bad.

>>25888258
My parents would be sad if I moved to Gensokyo.
Also, I want to go to Japan at least once and climb Fuji-san. That'd be fun.

Surely it can't get any worse

>>25888258
I don't have much, but I have a few close friends and hurting them is the last thing I'd want to do, besides, can't be sure it won't get better sometime, right?

curiosity as to how my favorite media franchises will end

Knowing that I have no dependants and can choose to move to Gensokyo whenever I like makes it easier.

>>25888258
Hard to tell, really. I am constantly moving at the edge, at risk of trying again. Somehow, I managed for a while now... two attempts with three years apart each, the last one being three years ago, so I dunno. Maybe it's time to try again?
Family and friends kinda keep me going. It's as they say, as long as you still worry about others, you're not ready. I think there's something to that, though acting in the moment is always a thing that can happen, where no earthly shackles can really hold you and your reasoning is overwhelmed by emotions.

So yea. I don't really know. Can't say I'm glad about still being here, either. But life is moving and the days are passing. I guess I just wanna do something worthwhile before I go for good.

>>25889735
I don't feel things very strongly.

My kids mostly

I'm scared of life continuing as this dull existence, working for the next 40 or so years to barely eke out enough for a stable home life and watching as a greater and greater percentage of my labor and mental health goes into ensuring people far more well off than I am live more comfortably than I can ever dream of

But I'm scared of oblivion more, and to end it would be to give up on ever having a fulfilling and happy life experience again. I've been happy before, getting to travel and see Japan, meeting with friends, experiencing Reitaisai, having good food and laughs as the world passes by without a care in the world. I want to do that again, so I stay alive. That and my parents and close friends, I want to take care of them.

>>25888258
You know how you sometimes look back at that older doujin that made you cum buckets, but now it can't even get you hard? And knowing they will lose their effectiveness in the future doesn't stop you for seeking "better" ones? That means your dick is growing stronger.
Same thing with pain. I mean the pain that feels like "black stuff" going through your veins, especially near the joints of your arms and legs, it accumulates in the center of the your hands and extends to the joints of every finger. No idea what it is, but I've gotten over it in the past, so it's hard to fear the future.
It's lust and curiosity about how far I'll make it.

There is always more anime to watch and more manga to read.

>>25891554
>failing at suicide
how

>>25888258
shitty reason, but I want to hope that life will get better eventually. I'm lucky enough to have an adoptive family that means the world to me and I wouldn't want to make them feel like they failed.

having a job to buy fumos and guns with

>>25888258
The promise of my plans keeps me going. You won't achieve shit if you're static. You always have to keep moving and adjusting to smoothly sail through life.
The concept of success for me has been more and more appealing the more I hold grudges against someone. It finally gave me a goal to achieve; surpass this person.
Using anger as a fuel for motivation has proven somewhat effective. And hopefully that anger lasts me enough until I've reached what I would consider as a success.

>>25888258
Have something to work towards to wether its big and small changes your perspective. Having big ups and downs is better than having a stable line.
Also working out, just do small reps until your body makes you feel like shit for not doing them.

>>25888371
Apply the image and forget about finances

>>25888258
Life might be bad but others are pieces of shit too.
Me killing myself would mean they get to crawl around in their own delusions.

>>25888258
Real answer, who knows. >>25894913 Nails it.
The answer varies person to person.
I would work so I don't starve, but he would rather not work as it does not directly benefit him, but those other.

>>25901272
>he
Others
I was thinking about some other thread from a few months back

to cum.

The desire to find more pictures and doujins of paizuri and to fap to said paizuri.

>>25888258
Unironically, rumia's cuteness definitely adds a little more to my life.

>>25924583
VIT +10！

>>25888258
Faith in Christ, legitimately

>>25888258
>What keeps you going on, /jp/?
having some affinity with jp culture

>>25924791
God has forsaken this place, and only the Devil remains.

>>25888258
Gensokyo is canocially a dystopian shithole. I would rather go to North Korea.

>>25952574
*canonically

>>25952574
well that is if you want to live in canon gensokyo but what i gathered, gensokyo is what you want it to be to most people, like heaven in some religions.

>>25888258
I have other things I'm passionate about and I am ambitious about my vocational goals.

I am a former 6 1/2 NEET whose been working for the last two years if that adds a little context...

>>25888258
sewer side is a seen, dood.

>>25888258
large backlog of retro vidya and the possibility of making my own games once i have sufficiently familiarized myself with the trade

>>25888258
Gun control and cowardice.

>>25888258
I have a fun creative hobby I can apply myself to indefinitely. Sharing it with /jp/ gives me even more motivation for it.

>>25888258
I'm not really sure. It's a kind of a mix of this thread answers, that depending of the day leans towards entertainment, friends (internet ones but friends to me all the same), apathy, scared of fucking up my intent of going to Gensokyo, keep going and see if life will get better, etc.
I found this post while looking around imageboards and I liked it so I cropped it just in case, and this threads seems like a good chance to post it. Yes, I'm filled with negativity.

>>25888258
Slowly improving at drawing so one day I can get my ideas on paper.
Then maybe once I'm satisfied I'll take the ticket to Gensokyo.

>>25888258
Lolis.
As long as I can admire these little angela, everything will be fine.

i'm just blowing all my money on shit that will provide me with dopamine and forget about everything else. once the government stops funding my dopamine addiction i'm going to gensokyo. i think this will happen within the next 2 years.

Apathy

>>25888258
Prog. A loooooot of prog. Also my friends, but that's been put on hold to a good extent because of covid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_TmPVpQ6rY

>>25924583
>>25924791
These too

>>25902371

>>25889092
Why is Cirno so HOT?

The outdoors/nature and musical obsessions that have been developing into passion projects as of late.
https://youtu.be/jYjwFNUoD-Y
Even at my worst, I feel profound happiness when exploring thick woods and scenery.

I do my best not to let it set in, but it doesn't work sometimes. I just end up jumping into a bunch of different things and distracting myself from the woes of life whenever given the chance, right now it's renting a fuckton of games and blowing through them.
>>25992354
This was a huge thing for me when I was a teen, bumming around and just exploring in the forests near my house or the one about a dozen minutes down from my school, but I got it pretty hard from my parents after I got Lymes and even if I didn't it still killed my energy and drive anyways. Was a pretty big part of me becoming a NEET now that I think about it? Regardless, really didn't expect to see another anon here who cared about outdoors-y stuff.

>>25981944
>I'm not really sure. It's a kind of a mix of this thread answers

Yeah, same thing for me basically. And that pic truly resonates.
I don't know, there's probably other NEET stories in here, but this year will complete six of straight NEETdom for me and I don't see it ending. I guess I'm just easy to please, I just daydream a lot about having a fun career and dedicate some of that creativity to my hobbies and that makes me want to just keep surviving "in real life".
I also believe there's a "perfect window" for suicide, where you can die and not leave people around you feeling THAT bad, but then again 2020 gave us all a good opportunity to die scotc-free and I didn't take it so... idk.

Hanging on so that maybe some day someone will listen to me and I can live from my ideas, but they make me happy enough already without being recognized/staying inside my dream world. Real pathetic shit, here's a shitty meme to make up for it.

Honestly laziness, each attempt just requires so much effort to plan and organize and yet it always fails due to someone coming in anyway and ruining it. Just don't have the drive in me this year to try again.
At this point, I'm hoping for a few good things to happen before I try and off myself so I can feel more at peace while trespassing Gensokyo's immigration borders. I don't like leaving things unfinished.
>>25891041
People get over losing others fairly quickly to be honest, there's no point in sticking around because people will be sad for a few months. If you're only alive for others sake and not your own that's pretty pathetic.

Touhou games, Touhou arrange, ongoing Touhou manga, Touhou doujins, masturbation, drugs, sweet dreams, wanting to impress some cool artists, the future sounds really interesting, Dark Souls, the prospect of getting my hands on some real drugs, getting to see people I hate die, cowardice in the face of death, and a fair few other things. Still want to throw myself on some train tracks though, but who doesn't want to die on some level?

>>25994294
Also haven't got any Touhou tattoos yet, I want them etched upon my soul.

>>25994294
>getting to see people I hate die
Plan on being a future murderer?

>>25994579
No, just watching.

>>25994857
Ah, the words of a future murderer.

All things considered, I like living.

I try to make do with what I have and appreciate the pleasures and beauty available to me. That's been the human way forever, you know. The basic teachings of Buddhism are some solace. Desires are endless. Even if I was in Gensokyo, if I remained a desiring and changing being I wouldn't know perfect happiness. To crave for an ideal life of desire fulfillment is paradoxical. Real freedom is serenity, rather than setting store in what is outside us. At least mostly, we can know contentment and happiness wherever we are.

>>25997931
cope

In no order:
Food (Good+)
Sex
Exercise

Will contribute to happiness a great deal. I got two of those bases down at least...

>>26022021
That's... that's too simple!!!

>>25888258
I don't believe in Gensokyo and there's no telling how awful what comes after death is.
The secret isn't wanting life, because that's one of the silliest things I've ever heard. The trick is not wanting worse.

>>25995652
to be fair, he could let someone else do the murdering part and just watch

>be me
>lost yokai snail loli
>vampire boy thinks im a qt3.14 and helps me home
>dont want to pass on
>nearly swallowed into eternal darkness for defying god
>nope out to the underworld
>get yeeted through the shrine roof into god hood anyways
the gods are a care free bunch- kind of like an endless lazy river. you only hurt yourself trying to fight the current.

Fear of pain and uncertainty about what comes after death

>>25997931
It's impossible to get bored of things in Gensokyo. You can do the same things every day and never get bored and always feel euphoric and/or emotionally intense/high, it never degrades.

>>25888258
I'm writing a thing and working on getting better at drawing. My goal is to transfer all of my cool ideas to some form of consumable media, I don't care if it does well or not. Just working towards this is enough to keep me going for now.

>>26036135
i do something similar with music, learning/writing and playing something and working with that is a continuous goal

>>25888258
I don't have a reason to live but I don't have one to die so I just keep going. Thanks to the Internet it's nice to have access to so many things, just seeing beatiful pictures of touhou characters, reading doujinshi or listening to arranges makes me happy to be alive to enjoy them. Every time I like something I download it and keep it on multiple hard drives to be sure it will never be lost. Maybe my purpose in this world is to archive those data to ensure their existence in the future, and after my death what will remain of me would be a collection of all the things I liked in my life.

Also learning japanese, gives me a little something to do every day while feeling like I'm improving myself.

>>25888258
when there's nothing interesting on /a/

>>26037338
/a/ being shit is what keeps you alive? You'll become an immortal arch wizard in no time.

>>26036451
Music is a great creative outlet. Sometimes I wish that I had gotten into it a little more in the past, but I feel like what I'm doing now is more than enough.
>>26036862
That's as good a reason as any. I hope that you manage to collect a lot of cute images, anon.

>>25888258
I don't want to inflict undue suffering on anyone so that means no suicide while there is a non-zero amount of people that care about me and would blame themselves.
So I just make due and keep looking forward to new songs from Miku.

nothing really
im a ghost
i wouldnt mind if i would dissapear tommorow

>>26039827
This pic, outside of theory, could possibly turn out to be terrible. Can you just imagine going on a date with a 3DPD that you see as Hatsune Miku or whoever, and then they suddenly act out like 3DPDs do - and you'll see it as if it was Miku/your fave girl doing so. That would be terrible and would make be very depressed.

I wish /jp/ was more like 2D/Random so this could be the only board I use. It's interesting that a feels thread has stayed up this long.

>>25888258
It is simply a nagging feeling that I could be so much more. Also, the older I'm getting, the less shits I give about other people's opinions -- even if those opinions are from family who treat me like I'm unwanted. Making my own money and spending my own money is a joy. Shitposting on this board with jpsies is also a joy.

>>26043430
It's just a joke picture but also yes.

I want all my fellow/jp/sies to be happy and not kill themselves.

>>26069709
i can't promise you that

Getting old. I knew cool was over at 30, so I drove hard into the old. Now I wear khakis, leather deck shoes, let my hairline rule. I move slower than need be. I sip my coffee, moan and sigh when I move, and always look engrossed in something surely earth-shakingly important, but it's just this place or a Whitley Streiber book. I hide that I'm still retarded sometimes from myself.

>>26069709
>I want all my fellow/jp/sies to be happy
That's nice of you but it just doesn't work that way

I'm so tired... so tired.
When will our struggle end?

>>25993283
>People get over losing others fairly quickly to be honest
Highly depends, especially if you and your friends are relatively young (ie below 30-40). Losing others far earlier than expected due to uncontrollable circumstances can leave incredibly deep scars it's pretty scary to conceptualize what a suicide can do to other's psyche. Only real reason I haven't crossed the border, cause I know if a friend went ahead of me I would be devastated.

Who are these weird people with friends as their reason? Ever since pandemic sent me to work from home I haven't even spoken to a human being in months.
I'm not even sure other people even exist anymore.

>>26073066
don't bother attempting reason, he's just being edgy for the sake of it

I travel through my dreams into the real gensokyo everynight.

>>26090318
the 2hus actually visit my house in their dreams

it's quite alarming, actually

>>26090318
You mean your Gensokyo. There is no one objective "real" Gensokyo. There are as many Gensokyos as people dare to imagine. Brown Tewism 101.

>>26090432
You mean your 2hus. Not "the" 2hus.

>>26091474
There is only one. Our reality isn't the same outside world that is in touhou despite what you may believe. I encountered Yukari through my dream and she opened the portal. Apparently, I'm the first person to ever enter the world from this world. She explained it all to me. Unfortunately I cannot stay in there forever because of the laws of our universe chaining me.

>>26091620
There are an infinite number. You simply encountered your instance of reality's instance of Yukari, and entered your instance of Gensokyo for the first time. It's not that complicated.

>>26091670
-_-

>>26069709
I try to be happy, but it's hard.

>>26089649
Anon, please. I don't want to deal with an existential crisis on top of my other issues.

>>26092393
I get it. I was like that not a week ago. But, they upped the dosage on my two anti-depressants, and now the volume of depressionposting on /r9k/ has slightly decreased in volume. I'm not even concerned with quite a few of the things that tormented me a week ago. I have diagnosed treatment resistant depression, and they found me something something that works, at least for now. They can find you something, too. There is hope.

>>26092599
existential crises are fun though

at least there is one thing we can all agree on,as long as it's cirno day that's reason enough to go on

>play russian roulette with myself
>5 shot revolver
>play multiple times
>never lucky
>get super fucked up one night and pull trigger 4 times in a row and still be alive
i am convinced i'm not allowed to die at this point
i hope you other fucked up dudes find some happiness though.

>>26094764
If this is legit, that is fucking horrifying, dude.

>>26094764
I've felt that way sometimes too. Like when you figure out a way to die, you test it out, it feels like it'll work, but when you actually go to try, something goes wrong. Always does. I'm not going to say anything to try to comfort you, because I know nothing will. I'm glad you're alive, though. You're a very rare individual if what you say is true. Most people haven't played russian roulette. Of the people who have played russian roulette, most die by the second to last trigger pull if they're the only player. You're a niche within a niche within a niche. That makes you special.

>>26094764
With this level of luck, you might as well liquidate all of your worldly possessions apart from your pistol and 1 bullet, gamble everything in a casino, and either be reborn as an overnight millionaire, or finally end yourself in a dark alleyway.

>>25888258
Touhou drove me away from suicide. Back about 3 years ago I fell into a horrid depression period. And at that time I lost loved ones, lost myself, and lost interest in everything. And the same week I started planning my end. I opened up a Touhou game, just to give myself my last go at my favorite game. It was PCB. I ended up getting to Yuyuko. And then I got to her revival spell. It made me reconsider everything. It made me rethink. Don’t let your soul go ink black. And I’m still here today.

>>26096291
>round is a dud

>>25988522
Literally same but with jungle&ardcore music.
https://youtu.be/ApJgHPHHpuE

>>26091852
You better hope for your retarded sake that other faggot is right, or else.

What keeps me going is thinking of all the food I want to eat and all the games I want to play. No I'm not fat.

>>26099475
p-post tummy

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-asia-54068937

This popped up today.

hu

Because I can always change my mind if I don't do it now, but not the other way around

if i could i would.

>>26096398
cringe fake story

>>26127235
cool but tldr

>>26127235
although to be fair, there is literally nothing wrong with using temples as firewood

I have tried three times, but the agony is too much to handle.

Despite that, the prospect of someday not feeling constant sadness makes me delay my fourth attempt. I tried a bunch of things before and still felt sad, but there a lot of other things to try. However, suicide may give respite, I hope so, and it will be always there if I can't take it anymore

>>26128146
based

>>26131532
Based on what?

I just bought a rope on Amazon, it will delivered next monday I think. Having this shit around me in my apartment will be dangerous when I feel very bad (this happens often). But anyway I've gave it enough consideration and I'm pretty confident in saying that life is worthless. I know my death is going to strike very hard my "familly" and my "friends" but I regret nothing. This is going to be a punishment against them, and leaving this shitty boat is the wisest and most courageous thing I'll ever do in my life. There will be no suicide attempt, only a suicide. I'm going to leave no note, no message, nothing.

Just thinking about them breaking down into tears, thinking about all the persons who did reject and ignore me getting ravaged by a guilty conscience makes me shake in a sort of degenerated euphoria. Suicide is revenge on life and others. I was put into this shitty existence without consent and having to deal with subhumans throughout the day while being unable to truly connect with anyone. I was put here egoistically by my parents who refuses to give me happiness, leaving me alone in my shit while they're responsible about the life they created. So I'm going discard the cancerous thing they arbitrarily gave me: life. This is the most logical response to their contempt against me.

My mother will be the first to find my hanged body as she come to my apartment once a time every weeks. I only feel bad a bit for her, but even if she loves me this is only a maternal and impersonal love. She doesn't love my person, but her son, and I'm not this shitty body she gave me.

Killing myself is equal to killing the world, yes, I'm a retarded solipsist. I was thrown into a world that I must endure, that is myself, but doesn't look back after me. I'm being neglected by a part of myself that I can't control, and that is intolerable. Even you guys only exist trough my consciouness, I'm going to kill you all. Perhaps no one is going to feel bad then, since everything ends when I end.

I feel so fucking good right now after having articulated my thoughts. It feels so right, it feels so logical. If the world isn't my slave as it should've been, then the world has to be destroyed. I'll destroy it. I've never had much power over my existence to reach happiness, The only thing I can control is this tiny and retarded body, everything is so out of reach. But ending the root of evil is so easy when you think about it, it's like we were crafted to reach this conclusion. Perhaps life on earth is a punishment, and understanding that there is no value to it allows one to reach the next step of existence. Yeah, life is only a step toward something greater, and to achieve it you have to delete yourself.

Godhood is death, and for the retards that still cling to life, they're fated to die anyway. I chosed to stop procrastinating the most important thing in life that is to die. People that hate procrastination do not realize that, among all of the living things, they're the ones who procrastinate the most, as they ignore and reject death. This feels so right, so fucking right, this is the thing. I look forward to it.

>>26131532
on what?

>>26147206
>she come to my apartment once a time every weeks
Jesus, i'd kill myself too if i was that pathetic

>>26147206
What a whelp

>>26147206
i bought a everyday carry knife ten years ago when i was a depressed college student so i would have the power to slit my wrists literally anytime i wanted

i never did and now i'm here shitposting with you

>>26147206
That's several days from now. What are you going to do in the meantime, with your last few days on Earth?
Anything special, or are you just gonna browse 4chan waiting for your package to come in Monday?

>>26152034
i'm not him, but if i was plotting suicide i'd spend the last days before completely drunk, it's not like i'd have to worry about liver failure

Maybe he'll roll a better character on his next playthrough.

>>26147206
Hello pic related, your next life is gonna be even shittier! Just try and escape this universe created for suffering.

>>26147775
I'm not in my late twenties/early thirties like most of the people browsing this board. Please do not make your case a generality, subhuman.

>>26160406
>I'm not in my late twenties/early thirties
>[my mother] come to my apartment once a time every weeks
again, not surprised suicide is ideal for you
remember, i only exist in your mind. i'm not a subhuman, i'm evidence of your shoddy existence. when you die, i get that freedom too!

>>26161643
you're 30 y/o and browsing /jp/, you're a subhuman

>>26162099
i can make things up too anon, like so: you are fat and ugly and smell like wet socks

>>26162122
I actually suffer from hyperhidrosis, especially my hands and feet so you're partly right. That said, I'm physically average and slender. You cannot contradict the fact that you're 30y/o because you're 30 y/o.

At your age you're should have either killed yourself or be doing something else that browing /jp/. Like started a company or something if you're strong enough to embrace life, no well-off individual would browse /jp/. So you're a subhuman, if I don't kill myself I'm gonna end like you, and that's something I despise.

>>26162207
>You cannot contradict the fact that you're 30y/o because you're 30 y/o.
but i'm not. it's easy to contradict something you made up

>>26162219
You are and only lying to try to prove me wrong, that's a behaviour that internet dwellers like to do so they can easily "win" their debate. But I know you're a 30y/o subhuman, I just know it, you will never be able to convince me of the contrary.

>>26162263
>You are and only lying to try to prove me wrong
anon, that's a kafkatrap. you're making it so "if you agree with me i'm right, and if you disagree with me that proves i'm right as well." i can do those too: how long do you plan to keep being wrong?

but really i don't have to convince you of anything, i'm just words on a screen and we're all going to disappear when you finally stop being a baby and kill yourself

>>26162383
You're spending so much time answering me, what do you even do this?

>>26163627
why*

>>26163627
it's entertaining to me, if i didn't think so i wouldn't do it

>>26164164
I'm sincerely glad I can still entertain someone.

>>26164347
Keep on living so that you can entertain other people. If not here, somewhere else. Don't take the easy way out, anon.

>>26164347
But, honestly, you really shouldn't kill yourself. Judging by that blogpost, a paradigm shift is something you really should develop.

>>26169586
well tell me about this "paradigm shift" then, solipsism is irrefutable and my life is shit, there is nothing more to this

>>25888258
Faith in Loli, legitimately

idk im really scared im gonna die soon. nothing i guess.

>>25888258
i guess its fear of death and hope that i discover what i want to do with my life someday

>>26160406
what kind of parkour posting is this

>>26220109
same thoughts exactly, the guy definitely has character.

>>25888258
all of these
>>25889124
>>25891073
>>25900565
>>25901006
>>25995723
>>26022021
>>25896413
>>26036862
also anime girls and the feeling of moe in general

>>26162207
Wait, so you're like 18 or 19?
まったく

>>26246353
いや違う。実は俺が21歳だ。まぁあんたらのようなおっさん達に比べれば結構若いだもんね。

My waifu and my love for her helps me cope with the harsh reality of my dead end life.

>>26250532
like that makes it much better, lel
you had better confirm if you're actually going to do it on monday, and i'll at least give you the respect of actually following through

>>26251749
I'm going to do it when I please. I never specifically said when I would be killing myself, having a decent way of killing myself right in my surroundings is the main thing. I'm never going to attempt suicide with the prospect of failing it on purpose to get attention. It's either I get what I want or not and after a certain time limit I automatically kill myself if the goal isn't achieved, if the dead end comes sooner than expected then I would do it at this time.

It's not like your respect was something I was particularly looking after. Everything I've written before could've been also just lies in order to kill my boredom.

I literally do what I fucking please, my dude, with the little I have I still take for me as much as I can. If I happen to feel good for the next 60 years of my life I would never kill myself. Do you think I owe you anything you faggot?

>>26147206
I understand what you wrote. You are on the cusp of meaning. I cannot tell you that you are wrong for pursuing death, but your failure is your own. Meaning is wrought over years and miles, it is not a birthright. May our paths never meet again.

>>25888258
I have money. It buys nice things and experiences that make me enjoy life and solves problems that make me sad.

>>26090287
>talk about life experience
>hrururhrhr edgy anon
Retard life alert

>>26257346
did you even read his post it reads like some unironic incel clown world shit.

>>26263409
oh wait i'm a retard I thought this was about >>26147206 yeah he's a retard

>>25888258
Because suicide is the coward's way out, and I am no coward.

I've sunk to the degree that I don't feel much anymore. I just am, like some sort of vegetable. Being alive is just the path of least resistance

>>26263901
Pretty much this. I just distract myself with media as time passes by, only interrupted by sleep and immediate chores. I have no drive to do anything even though I have all the desire to, so I just float along with my pathetic existence doing nothing. I'll get productive for a few days every couple months, but then all my drive is drained and I go back to feeling dead; even if I force myself to be productive when I feel no drive, I get no fullfillment or joy and it makes me feel even worse.

>>26147775
Why is that pathetic

>>26162207
Protip zoomer: you aren't going to kill yourself, and you're gonna end up even worse than us when you're our age.

>>26252742
You are literally posting about your thoughts here for attention. You won't do shit, teenbro. And from how much of a hopeless incel you already are at your age you're going to be much more pathetic than us when you reach 30.

>>26169678
Don't listen to him, you should kill yourself, you will experience much worse hell than you have up until now if you keep going. Unfortunately you're a baby who won't do it though

>>26267538
>>26267575
dogs barking

>>26073066
You're lucky you have friends that would be devastated. My mother would, and while my siblings would be hurt I don't think it would bother them that much, and the fact that they were so abusive to me makes me feel they deserve to feel some pain, but I doubt it would be much. I don't have any friends.

>>25894962
that's pornography addiction. the pain would be considerably less without it so just don't look at porn. but otherwise you are right about pain antibodies.

>>26252742
i knew it, you're not going to do it
how lame, i'm profoundly disappointed. you aren't entertaining anymore, anon-kun

>>25888258
>What keeps you going on, /jp/?
I don't really have to think about it. I just take it easy.

>>25888258
My family. Unfortunately I don't have any friends, so once my family is gone, I will move to Gensokyo.

I have no idea. My plan has always been to outlive my family, my mom is well off so once she's out of the picture I'll be able to live in relative comfort without having to work. Unfortunately she's getting older and showing very little signs of ageing. She has no health issues and has a strict no alcohol, no cigarettes policy. At this rate she might live another 20 years. I'll be 50 by then. I'm not sure I have that long.

Hello my fellow cutie /jp/sie,

This is something I also wonder myself sometimes. I think it's the curiosity to keep on going? The pain hasn't reached the threshold where I want to go to gensokyo yet. The truth is I had my ups and downs.

My greatest up was in highschool because I felt I had the most freedom. I was getting into fights over stupid shit, taking dad's bike to go on night drives after I got my A-class driving license, etc. I also felt surrounded by friends.

My lowest down was a few years after joining college. I felt isolated and my grades and self-esteem dipped. I was very aloof and for a few years honestly the only thing keeping me sane was joining some random Chinese class i happened to walk into randomly. The two hours a week was the only thing I was looking forward to.

When I was 23 or something my dad had enough of my shit and forced me to get a job. I became a night taxi driver just so I would avoid my family. Hopping into my car when parents come home from work and coming back when they leave again. My diet consisted of donuts and coffee.

In my idle time I borrowed programming books from the library and started studying casually. Figured it was pretty interesting and after enough studying I managed to get an internship. That internship was really rough. I used my savings to pay for gas, ate plain bread for lunch and smoked cigarette butts from coworkers. But this internship helped me land my first stable job. I unfreezed my college classes and grinded them little by little until I finally graduated a year ago.

Nowadays I'm feeling very insecure in myself, macerated in insecurities. What's more important? Progressing my career or using my career as a fuel for other hobbies? After being friendless for so long I do feel lonely.

I asked myself, why am I taking things so seriously? Seriousness is just a symptom for putting too much value on time. Time is worthless if you don't enjoy it. No one regretted on their deathbed that they enjoyed themselves too much. The true thing that makes me feel the happiest is seeing other people be happy and laugh. So currently I'm timidly trying to write jokes for a stand-up number. I'm trying to build the courage to record myself to see how I sound.

It's true that I'm lonely, I'm 31 and I have too many kilograms. But if I learn how to be kind to myself maybe I can surmount those too. A stable hobby would be nice too.

I'm now also buying random crap like C's ware visual novel books, posters and ukiyo-e.

If you read all the way here, thank you so much.

>>25992448
it's hard feeling suicidal when you/if you can go outside exploring all the time

>>26343354
why are you thankful for people reading your actually asked for blogpost? Imagine going to this thread and not bothering to wallow in the sadness of everyone here, just to make yourself feel better....

Maybe one day I’ll meet a girl that’ll dress up as Ran and marry me.

>>26254444
c-c-checked

>>26348128
I thanked because it's pretty long and is cathartic to me as well.

>>25888258
Can't die a virgin.

1) I have a disabled brother that will likely need care from me when my parents are too old to keep taking care of him
2) I want to save up enough money to go to Japan, hire a deliheru girl from a cosplay agency to dress up as Sanae and then give me sumata followed by some delicious thigh sex.

I keep floating between relationships and working

I still don't have a single lunatic 1cc.

>>26427470
Thats ok, I'm sure most people haven't 1cc'd easy mode too.

>>25888258
I want to finish what I am studying and see what I can do next. I may even go live in Japan, who knows, maybe I could do a Ph.D. there.

>>26417780
People think like this.

>>26417780
Man, becoming immortal was easier than I thought.

>>25888258
My friends are here!

I don't have the means and tools of commiting an hero so for now I try to learn more about 2hu stuffs as well as learn some japanese, to kill some time off.

I hate this board and everything it stands for

>>25888258
I just try to enjoy what I can. This might be the only opportunity to experience things this way so I might as well pull through as long as I can. For example, I'm really glad that I was born just in the right time out of millions of years, just on the right planet and just on the right place on that planet, under the right circumstances and influences to experience Vocaloid and Miku Expo for the first times in my country.

>>26594334
Why?

I am still investigating the correct method to enter Gensokyo.

Help is needed because of lack of studies. -_-

>>26346643
Says the guy posting a literal immortal being, the likes of which will always exist so long as ice exists.