/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hard

Palette-swapped Reimu wouldn't have been born otherwise.

It was an immaculate conception

>>2516841
How do you know she didn't reproduce via parthenogenesis?

Nothing.
Suwako will always be my little girly kermit.

It makes me feel like destroying my copies of Touhou games and posting pics here.

What about Ran? Everyone knows where shinigami come from.

>>2516841

A locomotive
Padlock
Eggplant
Tissue box
Male/Female symbol

Dammit! I failed to encipher this code. Someone?

>>2516867
shikigami

>>2516863
Yes. I too would destroy my Touhou games if I actually had any.

>>2516874

Fried eggs.

>>2516872
Sounds like Suwako had had happy sex and she's telling Sanae of her experience

>Suwako Moriya is canon non-virgin
NO SHIT SHERLOCK

>>2516872
I'm going to plow my purple eggplant into you like a freight train. The union of our sexes will be akin to a key working its way into a padlock. Oh, and you're gonna need to wipe yourself off when we're done.

>>2516872
After eating some eggplant on a train, she locked herself in a private room and had such crazy sex that she needed tissues to wipe it up.

>>2516890
Bizarro-Shirou?

>>2516890
Goddamn it, I snickered.

>>2516841
She met a hermaphrodite, who locked her ni a train compartment and fucked her with an egg plant sized dick, by the time they where done moriya was covered with so much cum a million tissue boxes woldn't have been enough to clean her up.

>>2516889
She is? really?

Gods don't need to have sex to have children. but none of you filthy non-Christians wuld know that, would you.

>>2516841
kanako is shlicking right there in front of them. How lewd

Sanae is a virgin, and that is all that matters.

>>2516961
She's a good girl!

>>2516961
You wish

Of course is'nt virgin. I take it.

>>2516926
Upon closer inspection, there is little doubt that she is indeed...

Female frog lay unfertilized eggs upon which the male sprays its semen. The concept of virginity doesn't really apply since there is no penetration involved.

>>2517067
Sanae is a frog

>>2517067

Like this eh?

>>2517085
And she lets everyone spray her eggs. What a slut.

>>2517096
Precisely.

>>2517051

Sometimes wonder if kami, though immortal, go through different stages of age, or if Kanako is, was, and will always be 40.

>>2517127
>40
Oh...you......heartless....

She's 30 tops.

>>2516872
She had sex in a locked room, and came like a freight train, and his penis was THIS HUEG, and it was really messy.

>>2517141

Okay. Kanako is like a certain ghost who walks like a man - "never one day over 39".

>>2517127

If you are insinuating that Kanako is some crusty old lady, I politely refuse to believe such a thing.

nver understood the eggplant

>>2517211
lolwut?

>>2517166
She's not crusty. She's well lubricated because of all the snake oil.

>>2517166

>If you are insinuating that Kanako is some crusty old lady

I would never. Kanako is a refined and experienced lady in her finest years. Permanently.

Kanako is a pig disgusting grandma.
I prefer cute lolis like Suwako.

Perhaps in this stage of his life Anon is better off with underage girls who are equally oblivious to where to put it. But as soon as he realises a woman's sexual peak begins at 40, he have no choice but to seek out an older experienced woman to take him on the ride of his life.

She's just talking about various interesting subjects, like common bathroom products, food, transportation, home security and how the hermaphroditic nature of pea plants were of great help to Gregor Mendel when he pioneered in the field of genetics with his studies of them.

Old hag.

>>2517370
I just shuddered uncontrollably...

You're not....at that age yet, are you?

>>2517370
dat leaf

>>2517370
But I want to dedicate my life for teaching lolis what sex is. That's all I need.

>>2517415

Who knows.

>>2517370

Indeed.

>>2517067
You were saying?

>>2517830
That's not Suwako. She doesn't have boobs.

>>2517857

Yeah those hat even have the closed eyes!

>>2517067
Does amplexus count as cuddling?

Game says nothing other than that Sanae is her descendant

Remember Athena? Of course you don't, you didn't go to school.

>>2518285
Are you saying that Sanae or some predecessor came from Suwako's head?

The real question is, who did Suwako get pregnant?

>>2518414
She has frog DNA which, as JP taught us, means that she may have turned male to fertilize herself.

Life finds a way.

>>2519623

Bingo! Touhou DNA.

>>2517645
he does great art, almost all kanako.

well, except that doujin he made where suwako shaves her hairy asshole

>>2518414
Parthenogenesis.

>The New Mexico Whiptail Lizard is a crossbreed of a Western Whiptail which lives in the desert and the Little Striped Whiptail that favours grasslands. The lizard is a female-only species that reproduces by producing an egg that is a perfect clone of itself.

Just like Touhous!

(I don't remember an amphibian example, sorry. )

>>2517370
>a woman's sexual peak begins at 40
My knowledge of the correlation between a woman's age and the frequency of certain birth deformities causes me to doubt this claim.

>>2519681
well think about it this way. The woman's reaching menopause so the biological clock is ticking. Her body is screaming, "MAKE BABBY NOW."

>>2519701
Normally people reach their peak well before the point of absolute desperation.

It's like confusing the turning point with the climax.

(Look that up.)

>>2519663
Sauce on that doujin please

>>2519681

Babies...? Who said anything about babies?

>>2519730
http://www.4shared.com/file/100178807/ef215712/

A woman's sexual peak is at about age 10

>>2519749
so strike when the irons hot?

>>2519754
sounds like striking iron that's being forged

>>2519769
forge the iron in your favor

>>2519746
Thank you sir

>>2519749
A woman's sexual peak is when I want it to be. Age, within certain limits, is irrelevant.

>>2516841
it was the hat.

Kanako reminds me of my mother, only with bigger boobs.

Suwako reminds me of my little sister.

My best friend reminds me of Sanae, only a lesbian.

IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY IN MOUNTAIN OF FAITH!

>>2518285
Wait. You're comparing a Greek goddess to a Japanese shinto goddess...

Apples and oranges man.

>>2519897
Greek goddess>Japanese shinto goddess

>>2519663
Who's the artist?

>>2519881
THAT'S SICK DOG!

>>2519954
True, but still, Athena was a goddess full stop. Sanae is part human.
Unless you subscribe to the theory that all Touhou reproduce through parthenogenesis, humans do not reproduce asexually.

Uke Mochi (保食神 Japanese; English: "Goddess Who Possesses Food") is a goddess of food in the Shinto religion of Japan. When Uke Mochi was visited by Tsukuyomi she prepared a feast by facing the ocean and spitting out a fish, then she faced the forest and bountiful game spewed out of her anus, finally turning to a rice paddy she coughed up a bowl of rice. Tsukuyomi was so disgusted he killed her. Even her dead body produced food: millet, rice, and beans sprang forth. Her eyebrows even became silkworms.

>>2520073

... and this, boys and girls, is why papa Tsukiyomi won't come out and play anymore.
He just hasn't been the same since.

>>2520129
All I want to do in this thread is screw my silkworm up an adult Suwako.

>>2520073 Tsukuyomi was so disgusted he killed her.

Seriously? Man, what a dick.

>>2520174
Well, she did shit out food.
I honestly don't know what to think about that.

>>2516867

Basically, Tsukiyomi was mentally scarred for life and driven insane from seeing someone produce a live fully grown deer from their ass.
Honestly he can't be blamed.

Although in all honesty, his crew on the moon wasn't a whole lot less bizarre.

>>2520290
>>2520290
>>2520290
This is how little Chens are made

>>2520333
She should have followed Nrvnqsr's example and had it pop out of her abdominal area.

>>2522159

Ah, but Fabro was not even a twinkle in his father's eye then.

>>2520018
>Sanae is part human.
Sanae is ALL human. Canonically the only thing that remains of her divine heritage is her ability to create miracles. Otherwise she's just a regular human just like Marisa and Reimu.

Suddenly, JYUNANASAI KANAKO

>>2522452
So, she's like Jesus?

>>2522479
She's better than Jesus because you can have sex with her.

>>2522479
Depends on your belief system.

If you're a Christian then no, Sanae is not like Jesus because Jesus is God.

Otherwise a better example would be Moses. Except that she's not an old man who looks for burning bushes in the desert.

>>2522498
Moses is GAR, is Sanae-chan GAR?

>>2522498
Is she similar to Shadow Moses?

>>2522500
>GAR
Please return to /a/.

>>2522498
>Otherwise a better example would be Moses.
In fact, IIRC, a few of her spellcards are named after some of the miracles that Moses performed. Like the parting of the Red Sea.

>>2522515

>>2522515
>5

>>2522511

You rang?