/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>24749969
I'd be the faceless male that makes you ahegao.

>>24749969
Yukari seems like the most reasonable choice, especially considering she could presumably switch to other touhous at will if you changed your mind

youkai

i am touhou

>>24749969
I'd become Reimu so I could have sex with an incredible amount of men without moving a muscle.

>>24759927
I'd become Sanae so I could titmog you and steal your clients by having sex with them for free.

>>24759996
That's very evil of you. I'm sure my customers would keep coming for the one-of-a-kind dead fish experience, though.

>>24760068
You're probably right. It's a niche audience that not just anybody can cater to.

i would become old men

>>24760122
Reimu's flat and uninspiring body helps too. It's a very specific fetish that doesn't really work for Sanae with her big-ass tits.

>>24760122
>>24760382
Girls, girls, you're both pretty

>>24750207
this

>>24749969
me

>>24749969
I'd become wriggle so I can stay a boy.
I don't mind the amount of bullying that I'd need to endure for being wriggle though, even if the is a problem.

I'd definitely be a fairy. There's absolutely no downsides to being a fairy.

Kaguya so I can sleep

Yuuka so I would be mostly left alone and have really comfy naps.

>>24749969
>forced
I would take this deal willingly and without hesitation

>>24780436
I'd want to be Sunny specifically. All the upsides of being a fairy yourself PLUS two flying cunnies ready to do anything you tell them to. And a fairly good chance of roping in at least four more flying cunnies into any mess I want.

>>24781692
But anon, Star is the mastermind fairy. You'd be more likely to get roped into her plans than getting her to follow yours.

>>24749969
Either Remilia or Clownpiece, from a living standard pont Remilia, from being a cute girl, Clownpiece.

me on right

>>24781793
You say that like it's a bad thing.

Mamizou so I can have bigger balls

>>24749969
Maribel

>>24749969
Sorry anon but I'm already Yukari. You can be Ran

>>24783960
shit, if I can't be Yukari either and Ran is taken too, do I have to settle for Chen?

>>24783982
I guess that's what you'll have to do anon we can be one bg happy family

>>24784001
well, there's certainly worse touhous to be, so alright Chen it is

>>24783960
If you say so I guess; I'd be a less computer-like and more humn-like Ran though

>>24784269
hey, we don't get to argue specifics

>>24781793
Star is the cutest fairy and I'll turn her into my onahole, so anon needs to be prepared for that if he wants to be her.

>>24784269
We love you regardless what kind of Ran you are anon

>>24780436
except maybe the retardation oh wait

>>24784344
Aww, thank you Anon

Koishi because I want to get away with heinous shit

I'd be Yuugi and pin down all the frail surface 2hus and use their supple bodies as I please

I'd be Eiki, so I could get to listen first hand to myriad /jp/sies' hilarious stories of how they got killed trying to bone this or that and judging whether they get to reincarnate or go to hell based on how funny they died.

Also, I now have a subordinate who has the same work ethic as me.

Fairies have the best lives.

Gensokyo... sounds like it could collapse at any second...

Yuyuko so I can be a tittymonster that eats all day

Okuu, Then I could maybe have a practical ability useful enough to meaningfully contribute to society, actually get a good job, and have a livable salary in the modern world.

>>24790313
But you'd have her brain.

I would be Reimu so that Yukari might sexually assault or even rape me

>>24785090
I'd be Suika and pin down all the frail human men and use their supple bodies as I please

I'll be Futo. She's cute and I like burning things.

>>24790750
if Okuu is smart enough to run a fusion power plant on her own, a thing we haven't even invented yet, having her brain cant be that bad.

>>24792151
We have, at least technically. The problem is it's incredibly inefficient.

>>24792977
Since you know that, you probably know that I meant sustainable fusion, and that the best we can do at the moment is only 70 seconds long, And that any power requirement to start it would be worth it and make it extremely efficient.

>>24794206
I don't know anything, I just wanted to seem smart and failed.

>>24749969
okina matara
their abilities seem useful and they come with 2 loyal to death servants which is nice

>>24791246
Don't talk about the only benefactor of your shrine like that

Jo'on so I could steal all of your moneys.

Sakuya, for sure.

>>24796850
Sounds like little Reimu needs to be gapped and taught a little lesson!
A lewd lesson.

maybe rinnosuke?
but he doesn’t have any powers...
in the midst of gensokyo’s insanity...
so
power, good defensive ability, and few enemies, if any
so I don’t have to look over my shoulder
and enough charm to have a good waifu, of course
>>24801769
sounds like a good way to get Fantasy Heaven’d

>>24795541
THIS, I want be Okina, she´s looks so cool and comfy as fuck and I will fuck my wifes Yukari and Junko

>tfw took female hormones to make this a reality
I'm not even a tranny lol, I just really want to dress up as a touhou, without feeling like I'm disrespecting the touhou. I even jumped through all the dumbass hoops and convinced several psychologists, surgeons, and doctors that I have a mental illness to achieve my goal. And it was all to experience the pleasure of being cummed inside.

>>24806560
touhoufags, this is your mindset

>>24806560
I can't decide whether I'm disgusted or impressed at this post.

>>24806560
Wow, Anon, I'm impressed; I didn't know it was possible to lie to yourself so much. That being said:
>black hair
>Sakuya costume
Better dye your hair silver

>>24749969
Mokou cause I'm afraid of dying and she doesn't have as many downsides like having too much responsibility or being an idiot.

>>24806560
well
are you cute
did somebody cum inside you

>>24806560
Did you get your dick removed already? 'Cause I think /jp/sies are only interested in fake vagoos, and not feminine ponoses

>>24806560
Why not just get a kigurumi costume?

>>24806560
Is this the biggest cope in human history?

>>24806560
I wish someone would cosplay as a Touhou for me. I really want to snuggle the gappy girl.

>>24808831
>'Cause I think /jp/sies are only interested in fake vagoos, and not feminine ponoses
You'd be wrong.
See: Wriggle

>>24807442
Dumbass. You'll be begging for death in a few billion years. And you'd better hope humanity is able to figure out interstallar travel by then and starts colonizing other worlds, or else you can look forward to spending millions of years burning to death constantly with only Kaguya for company after the sun becomes a red giant.

>>24812692
Yeah, I'm fine with that. I'm sure I'd regret it, but it's a choice I'd be happy to make.

>>24806560
Based

Yukari of course

Praise the Daiyoukai

>>24749969
>>24750315
>>24783960
>>24813454
So if we're all Yukari now, how are we going to decide who's driving?

>>24814502
Ran will drive

>>24812550
Wriggle is biologically female though

>>24817155
Also biologically cute

>>24817425
Also biologically fertile

>>24817979
Making this bug lay thousands of eggs at a time!

>>24817155
>>24817425
>>24817979
bugboy

>>24817979
>>24818057
Wriggle is too young to be a mother! Please make sure to use protection instead of shooting your gross NEET sperm deep inside her nubile, throbbing womb.

>>24806560
wann slappa your belly swethart

>>24749969
sakuya
she gets to serve two loli vampire mistresses and has an army of fairy maids at her disposal
truly the most blessed lolicon in all of gensokyo

>>24819384
All that but no dick to diddle them with.

>>24749969
>Turn into
I'm not a tranny

>>24824967
but you're forced anon, you gotta pick one

Momiji, so that the real Aya still exists and I can bully her.

>>24749969
Shinmy for my sizefag fantasies
Imagine the possibilities

>>24749969
Kaguya so I can play/molest all the bunny girls for eternity

>>24814502
Yukari parliament where every anon within gets a vote. I have a feeling the hypersexual party where the goal is the masturbate and have sex all day will win majority everytime.

>>24836308
I'd vote for the prostitution fraction every election! Time to set up a chain of paywalled gloryholes that all gap to our bedroom!

Same. Just who wouldn't want to be a mastermind and the guardian of Gensokyo? And there is always her ability to manipulate boundaries that allows me to do whatever the hell I want. Plus I can have two cute shikigami! Yukari is a great choice.

>>24749969

>>24749969

>>24749969
Not Mokou.

>>24749969
Alice!

Fairies seem to have it pretty great all things considered. All the benefits of being a nonhuman in Gensokyo, infinite respawning as long as nature remains intact, and lots of other fairies to enjoy the company of. There's even room to become more than a fairy later on if you somehow manage to become too strong.
The only real downsides are the physical weakness and stupidity.

Since there are so many Yukaris who will be Maryberry?

>>24806560
Would you recommend it? Do you regret it? Would you do it again?

>>24903220
I want to trick a fairy anon into showing me her pantsu, and then molest her on the spot! And if she resists, that will only make it hotter!

>>24901321
I AM Alice.

>>24827384
i feel like ive seen 90% of all the touhou sizefetish porn that has ever existed

>>24749969
You all can be the little girls nuking each other every day, I wanna be the guy who owns the bar Mayoi lives and works at, cause living in gensokyo with a successful business that can't get blown up randomly by asshole youkai sounds perfect.

>>24933477
But anon, that's your fellow /jpsie/ you're talking about here, even if they are a fairy!

>>24934811
I want to dominate a weak /jp/sie fairy by touching her most sensitive spots to the rhythm of Amazing Grace!

>>24934811
Any /jp/sie that says they want to be a fairy is explicitly asking for it!

Hell, any /jp/sie that picks a 2hu for this thread for any reason except power fantasy is almost certainly asking for it, even if they're not a fairy.

>>24935069
Hey I just want to run a bar in gensokyo to hit on drunk 2hus, there's literally nothing wrong with that.

>>24936925
I want Hecatia to run the bar and fuck her customers while drunk...

>>24749969
Kaguya Houraisan.
Immortal, elegant, beautiful, immortal, possessed of an interesting power, best friends with the greatest doctor in the universe, immortal, princess of an incredible household with servants and friends, wealthy, immortal, gets to live in luxury, has more than enough room to invite others into her life, immortal, has endless entertainment with Mokou, has five wondrous impossible treasures, is immortal, can't die, and has immortality.
Good fucking god I don't want to die.

>>24933522
Post pics or its not true.

>>24940812
I feel you on that Anon

>>24941279
literally me, before going out

>>24943463
Cute but how did you get a pic of me?

>>24943657
of course I'd have a pic of myself, what are you talking about, anon?

>>24943788
Stop posting pics of me you creep! Stalker!

>>24940812
>I don't want to die
A rare kind of /jp/sie

I'm going to drag the fairy anons into my dream world and never let you out.

Being a fairy anon is hard... so many bullies and molesters...

Are we being turned into a character independent of the setting, or are we also occupying their role in Gensokyo?
Either way, Kaguya or Mokou because I agree with the other guy's sentiments on death.

>>24949387
Ah... I want to HUG Star...!

>>24949387
It seems that being a fairy is a lot more dangerous than I thought . . . Any /jp/sie that finds they've become a fairy will have to get really good at dodging and running away if they want to enjoy their freedom

>>24749969
Sekibanki, won't explain.

>>24953465
imagine being a loner neet even after reincarnating! wwwww

So what exactly is the ideal scenario? Turn into the character 100% with no knowledge of your previous life?
Retain all your memories and personality you have now with the body and abilities of the character?
Having your current mind with the addition of just as many memories and as much knowledge as you need to know the things the character would normally know, like how to use their abilities?

>>24965892
Definitely the lattermost. If you just possess them it would be weird to settle in, if you forget yourself then there's no point.

>>24901321
>>24941279
>>24943463
>>24943657
>>24943788
Stop fucking doxxing my GF's private insta account ya morons.

>>24943827
Yeah. Better back off away from my gf you creeps.

>>24749969

Eirin I would be immortal and make any drug I want. I also get to live in a palace full of bunny cunny. That seems like a good way to spend eternity.

>>24953465
Nice

>>24749969
The only choice for me.

>>24963575
Gonna be a natural. Smart!

Wriggle (boy)
Sweet sweet naughtiness with Yuuka

Yuuka (female)
Sweet sweet naughtiness with Wriggle

Out of curiosity, are there any Touhous that /jp/sies would just never ever want to be under any circumstances? To the point where you'd decline even if it was the only way into Gensokyo?

>>25027479
No. I can't actually say that there is one. There are some that I wouldn't want to be because I'd be a very bad fit for them (Kasen, Yuuka, Kanako and Byakuren immediately come to mind), and some that I wouldn't want to be because it'd deprive me of the opportunity to hang out with them (Remilia, Satori and Yukari immediately come to mind here), but gun to my head, "this is your only option, take it or leave it" I can't come up with a single one I would refuse. Even the worst 2hu situation you could come up with would surely be more interesting than reality as it is now.

>>25027479
Fortune Teller

>>25027862
Wouldn't it be interesting to get reincarnated as Fortune Teller and play a sort of game to see what you'd do different to actually succeed this time around? Or at least not get brutally murdered.

>>25027479
oh plenty, Parsee, Satori, Junko, Koishi, just to name a few

>>25028540
I wouldn't want to be koishit either anon, that means I'd have to kill myself.

>>24749969
Either Yukari or Okina. Both are strong enough that they might actually fix Gensokyo.

>>25027479
Any of the Buddhists

>>25029831
lol

>>24750315
>she could presumably switch to other touhous at will if you changed your mind
Explain.

>>25027479
Shion and Joon are the only ones I can think of that I would absolutely never stand being. I hate those two. They're both vile, pathetic people.

>>25031018
boundary manipulation, kinda lets her do whatever

>>25033104
Fucking with the Boundary of Me and You sounds like a quick way to go insane.

>>24749969
/d/ thread? /d/ thread.

probably kokoro

>>25033242
No, the /d/ thread is over at >>24948500

>>25028540
My first thought of one I'd never take was Kisume since she'd bucket locked, I didn't even think of Parsee, that's a good one to never be as well. What a loathsome existence that would be.

>>25027479
the merchant kappa nitori

MARISA because she is FUN and has MANY FRIENDS

>>25073882
yeah, while it's not abject suffering like Junko's or Shion's it'd still be miserable as fuck

One of the fairy maid at the Scarlet Devil mansion I think

>>25078401
She's going to be quite the annoying memester.

>>25081318
Please do not slander her like this. She is just ordinary magician who wants to be in good company.

I'd be Eirin and give out lots of paizuri

>>25081318
I'd like to have a sex friend like this, but wouldn't want to date her.

>>25033021
Stop your lies, Shion is a good girl.

Vegetarianism implies the consumption of dairy and eggs, which, like a meat-centered diet, restricts blood circulation and HINDERS athletic performance. A vegan diet has been clinically shown to boost productivity and athleticism in those who adhere to it. There are no valid excuses to refrain from veganism:
>moral
>healthy
>reduces pollution
If you're not vegan it's because you're ignorant and/or have extremely low self control. That or you're a complete piece of shit, which is pretty obvious.

>>25110775
You’re not a best advertisement.

>>25076575
What's so bad about being Nitori?

>>25094807
Shion KNOWINGLY inflicts misfortune upon others. If she were a good person she would live in isolation to protect everyone else. Simply by choosing to approach other people in full understanding of what that will do, she demonstrates malevolence.

>>25135977
What would happen if you were two timing with Hina and Shion?

>>25135977
It doesn't seem to have affected Tenshi last time I checked

>>25141220
you would explode into a thousand, burning giblets

>>24749969
Gengetsu.

>>24749969
Either Koishi because I want to not give a shit about anyone else while being unable to give a shit about giving a shit, or Reimu because she's my favorite and I'd also get to date Marisa.

>Nobody chose to have an entire harem of girls for their abject indulgence
>and to keep their cock
Did you forget, anons?

>>24749969
Tewi because I would like to be small and be loved by everyone.

>>24940812
I can’t imagine you have something to live for, being on jp and all, so why don’t you want to die?

>>25141220
Hina takes misfortune in to herself so she's a sponge while Shion is a waterspout.
>>25141854
Tenshi is a celestial with limitless prosperity. It doesn't affect her not by Shion's choice, but because Shion's misfortune cannot deplete her good fortune.

>>25166504
Who the fuck needs something to live for to not want to die? Death is scary and dumb. I want to take it easy forever.

>>25166282
Seems you beat me to it. You are a respectable anon so I will sacrifice myself and become the fortune teller.

>>25169473
You are a brave man.

>>25179732
He's a dead man

>>25166282
>>and to keep their cock
You lost me.

>>25166282
I'm already a guy in this world. If I were going to jump to fantasy world, why wouldn't I take the chance to be as close to the opposite of my current self as possible, so I can see the other side?

>>24749969
I think I would pick to be Kosuzu.

I would enjoy an exciting life from the relative safety of the Human Village. When I got a bit older, I could marry an honest, hard working man who would love me dearly and tenderly, and I would happilly bear children for him. I would be a caring, kind, and loving mother of 2-6 children, and watch them grow up and marry themselves.

I want to be a shota Wriggle and fuck mommyhus everyday

I absolutely love scaring people, so I'd be a slightly more competent Rumia.
Beware!

>>25030937
I want Seiga to do evil things to me.

>>25081318
>not enough "ze"

>>24749969
Either Yuuka or Yukari because they are both BASED and OP

>>24749969
Doremy so I can see invade other people's dreams

Youmu, but with huge tits.

>>24965892
>Turn into the character 100% with no knowledge of your previous life?
Sounds good to me I don't need all this baggage.

>>24966448
>if you forget yourself then there's no point
The point is that you get to be a Touhou.

I know many of you guys fantasize about being girls, but remember that it's just fantasy. Don't try to make it into reality

>>25278938
>Don't try to make it into reality
I don't need your reality

>>25027479
Assuming I'd take on her personality: any of the ones that murder people.

>>24749969
Nue.

>>25279775
I hope you're a side sleeper

>>25295781
I sleep on my side or stomach.

>>24749969
Keiki
I'd use my knowledge of the canon events of 2hu17 to turbosperg prep for everything and take over all of Gensokyo, exterminating the filthy youkai and turning the place into a cyberpunk paradise for my beloved humans

>>25278897
So you'd want to be just Youmu with Youmu's memories?

>>25305910
It's the only way to get the full Youmu experience.

To be honest. I just want to be a piece of shit, who constantly fools others, ejoys live and still is enough of a smalfry to not beeing taken seriously

>>24965892
I feel like the best way to do this is to turn into the character while still having your memories and personality buried in your head. And you gradually dissociate from all of the stuff that makes up the "old" you until, at absolute most, it's some information that you can refer to and "know" even though it doesn't feel like your memories or knowledge at all and doesn't have any real influence on your new personality/identity.

>>25309921
But gettling bullied for being a dork for the second time seems... redundant?

Big, strong and do nothing but laze and drink.

>>25219680
Would you actually try to eat anybody?

>>25219680
If you just want to scare people, surely you'd be a better fit for Kogasa? Rumia actually wants to eat..

I see our Rumia anon didn't make it all that far in the end.

>>25317065
Can I marry you?

>>25317065
Huh, I never thought of that star as a scar.

god I wish I were a touhou

>>25346304
What a terrible and embarrassing fate.

>>25166282
Itoshiki nozomu isn’t from touhou silly!

>>24749969
>wanting to be a cannibalistic mass murderer

>>25412949
you just become the character, you're not obligated to do all the evil shit they do, also as far as I know there's no confirmation Yukari eats other youkai, though I wouldn't put it past her

>>24749969
Which 2hu pees herself the most? That one.

I want to be suika so I can indulge in alcoholism! Also she is very cute!

>>25450206
Remila

>>24749969
God I wish I was her douche

>>25451434
Not Alice?

>>25412949
Who are you quoting?

Sakuya. Besides serving Remilia and living in the SDM. The ability to manipulate time and space is useful.

Assuming for a minute her abilities work like I think they do. It wouldn’t be too hard to pull a Samurai Jack and create a portal in time to the far future.

>>24784347
Fairies are surprisingly competent despite their general stupidity, it's more a matter of most things having no intrinsic value to them due to their "literally no reason to care about anything that isn't fun" lifestyles.

>>25451918
I'd rather replace Meiling so I could be around Sakuya.

>>25452316
Thats.....also a good idea. Least then I’d have an excuse to be lazy.

>>24749969
Cirno, because fairy immortality and the chance of making a fool out of everyone who understimates me.

Also friends. Haha......

>>25485313
>that image
Thats....actually nice. Good for lazy fucks like me and ensures I am comfy....does something like this exist for men bros?