/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Patche better not fuck around in my area of magical expertise. If she thinks she can get away without optimizing a recursive call in a function that gets called every frame, she'll get a fucking slap across her puffy face.

>>24934012
Shut up nerd.

>>24931076
The funny autist book.

uh oh, /g/ is infiltrating /jp/

Is this book actually good?

"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.

"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.

Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."

Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.

Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.

Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.

"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.

"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.

Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.

"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.

Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"

The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.

"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" the witch whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.

All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.

"Nothing," she answered quietly.

"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, pointing with his wand.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," the witch exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

The Sussman raised his wand and a pointed it at the group, sending from its blunt point a stream of red parentheses. Almost immediately Alice sent forth her dolls, which collided with the parentheses at 61.8034% of their way toward her, creating a blindingly bright blue ball of plasma. The other students watched in amazement as the parentheses slowly ate their way through the doll-storm towards Alice.

>>24957193
>>24957213
Whoever originally wrote this has no idea when ze would be used in nipspeak and I hate it

>>24958206
That's deviantart tier ero for you.

>>24939757
/jp/ is our sister board after all.

>>24931076
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHk42kDwesM

>>24931076
Satanic magic?

>>24938071
*I flick off patchouli's stupid hat*
*she removes herself from her chair using her two moon-pale malnourished legs, chasing after me as I dart off into the meandering shelves of dusty tomes*
*her legs instantly snap in two due to lack of vitamin D*

>>25055021
the hat stays on

>>25055021
Shut up nerd.

>>24931076
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Wtj59opWKg

I like books but dislike patche

Remember to sit properly, sitting incorrectly can cause long-term problems with your spine, wrists, and muscles throughout your body, as well as affecting blood pressure and other health problem.

>>24931076
Patchy have two threads!
>>24613985

I like patche but dislike books

>>25110309
Patche dislikes you then

Lambda calculus is a form of magic.

>tfw you can never bully patchy taking her hat while she's reading a book.

study

>>25114733
I wonder if Patche likes audiobooks

>>25153369
I doubt audiobooks exist in Gensokyo.

>>25153824
They're evil spirits

>>25153824
Here's Gensokyo version of an audiobook.

>>25155012
Get this useless shrine """"maiden"""" out of my librarian thread.

>>25155012
can i throw her out?

Chubbychouli

>>25153824
She just makes Koakuma read aloud for her if she's feeling lazy.

>>25155012
Cute, I think Patche has used her services occasionally.

>>25159287
why is that crossbow on the wall? Patche couldn't possibly pull back the string on her own. why don't the bolts have fins? Patche couldn't possibly hit anything. why is the window doors bigger then the window? it could let a (certain) robber in. why doesn't the windows have handles? Patche could squish her fingers. why do the books go 1, 2, 3, then H? Patche could lose track of books.
that pic of Patche is very ridiculous and makes many assumptions about her abilities.

>>24940849
>Is this book actually good?
It depends what you want. It does not teach you to program, as much as /g/ayfaggotniggers might proclaim otherwise it is not a beginners book. It has very little relevance in the real world. If you want a bunch of exercises that will put you in a seperate class to the rest of the “code ninjas” and webdevs who think relying on NPM and stackoverflow to do their job is programming, it’s the book for you.

>>25171124
>>24940849
its written for lisp, and lisp is a general meme on /g/ im not falling for /g/ memes anymore

t. bought K&R thinking it was a based book to learn C, turns out was written for fortran programmers

I want to read SICP with Patchouli.

>>25175791
bros can have more pachi sicp pics? im making a collection of pachi sicp

Is working in IT really that bad? >>>/ic/4767748

What are patches's favorite books on investing and modern history?

>>25178226
working for 10 years as a salaryman is the same in every field

>>25156714
What an embarassingly lewd body, no doubt this pig never leaves her library.

What do you think is Patchouli's favourite book?

>>25252633
All of these: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_books_considered_the_worst

sicp isnt good

>>25253267
Patchouli likes Mein Kampf?

>>25178226
depends on the company. if you work for a bank or insurance company you'll want to an hero but otherwise it's quite comfy if you can adapt to bullshit you encounter every day.