/jp/ - Otaku Culture

But, you know what, I touched them and nothing has happened to me.

Pff, Shinki would have you eaten by demons.

Forever.

Yuka is not a morning person. Reimu/Marisa went to her home and woke her up.

I think I'll stop touching flowers.

>>2488229
she's a hippie

>>2488242
Are... they sexy demons?

>>2488229

She's actually quite nice. I remember her coming by to purchase some flowers, she was an absolute sweet heart. She didn't come off as the violent type.

>>2488268

You're confusing Shinki with Beatrice.

>>2488241
True, I also stepped on a few by accident, hell, I even took some sunflowers home to eat the seeds and she never did anyt

>>2488326
Uh oh, this doesn't sound go

I touched her flower, if you know what I mean

>>2488350

You want to touch my flower Anonymous?

Genocide is just another game.

"Give me a nice, big smile..."

>>2488388
No...
Yes..
I mean no...
Yes...
FUCK

You one day find that you have strayed far from your normal path while out for one of your normal strolls. Panicking, as dusk coming on, you begin to hurriedly make your way to a more familiar path. While in your carelessness you step on and crumple a most beautiful flower....

You suddenly feel yourself slammed against a tree and come to meet a most gorgeous face. Someone saw you crumple that flower...Yuka, youkai of the flowers. You've heard rumors of this woman....or youkai. She has you pinned against a tree, one arm pressed against your shoulder, the other on your midsection. That gorgeous face is eerily smiling at you.

What is your next course of action, Anonymous?

>>2488734
Wait to get eaten.

Hopefully she'll kill me first.

>>2488734
TRANS-AM!

俺が...

俺たちが...

ガンダムだ!

>>2488734
use horrendous pickup line

>>2488734
Ask her politely if she intends to kill me.
The answer will more than likely be yes
I stand there silently waiting for her to give the death blow.
She asks if I am going to fight back at which I tell her no as I am a weak human and would not hit a lady such as her even if I was strong.
I then go on to say, "oh well, at least I'll get eaten by such a breathtakingly beautiful youkai woman."

Hopefully this will throw her off some...
Probably not....

>>2488916
hahahahahahahahaha

She'd think you're funny. What is a man to her anyway?

>>2488734
I spit in her face and tell her to fuck off.

BOOYAA!!!!

>"Oh, don't touch Yuka's flowers, or she'll torture you and kill you in the worst way imaginable."

That's not crazy enough for you?

>>2488996
I hope you're prepared to have your tongue swap place with your testicles.

>>2489008
what if my tongue is already swapped with my testicles?

>>2489015
You'll become normal again.

>>2488965
A miserable pile of secrets.

>>2489008
Well I thought it'd be a good change of tactic as she would probably expect me to turn into a trembling, stuttering mess.

>>2488734
I quickly close the gap between us and place a warm kiss on her soft, sweet wet cherry lips.

Might as well get a kiss from a sexy youkai before I die right?

>>2489037
That's like saying you decided to charge a battalion of soldiers while brandishing a spoon.

Sure, no one EXPECTS it, but it doesn't mean it's a very wise decision.

>>2488734
Say sorry, and ask if she's going to kill me. If yes, I will say "Meh." She will then proceed to eat me. Really no other way until you write on a piece of paper and claim its a spellcard.

>>2488820
This.

Cast magic missile.

Win forever.

>>2489057
Well maybe it'll piss her off she'll quickly slice my head off killing me quick.

>>2489069
"Would you Like me to water your flower?"

>>2489072
Fire Bolt would work better (especially if you have a +3 or better staff equipped).

Reveal you are a flower youkai who has hidden away amongst humanity in an attempt to safely gain strength without being hunted all the time.

Become best friends instantly.

>>2488820
"Spring is here. Would you like your flowers pollinated?"

>>2489082
this is 3.5

4.0 is for babys who don't like big numbers.

>>2489074
Sadists don't work that way.

Useless. Ahhh, it's all useless.

Only thing you can do is hope for intervention from Deputy Reimu, Miko Suika, or Kamen Rider Wriggle.

>>2489093
IN MY DREAMS THEY DO

>>2489093
"Hey baby, I see you like flowers, how about I put my seeds in you."

>>2489091
Magic missle is still overrated shit. Learn some better spells.

>>2489105
Really, you underestimate the power of JUSTICE

>>2489105

>>2488734
"Sorry for stepping on your flower. I did not mean to harm it..."
"....."
"Are you going to eat me?"
"Yes"
"Oh goddammit"

>>2489123
Fascinating.

>>2488734
>What is your next course of action, Anonymous?
Ask her to make it slow.
>>2489091
>4.0 is for babys who don't like big numbers.

That can't be true, 4 is a bigger number than 3.5!

>>2489123
"Are you going to eat me?"
"Yes"
"Start with my feet"

>>2489105
>>Kamen Rider Wriggle.

even if there is not God or Buddha....there is Kamen Rider

Wasn't there supposedly a scene in this manga called MPD Psycho where a guy keeps a garden of woman buried up to their neck in the ground, and he grow flowers out of their exposed brains?

>>2489133
"Are you going to eat me?"
"Yes"
"Start with my penis"

>You suddenly feel yourself slammed against a tree and come to meet a most gorgeous face. Someone saw you crumple that flower...Yuka, youkai of the flowers. You've heard rumors of this youkai. She has you pinned against a tree, one arm pressed against your shoulder, the other on your midsection. That gorgeous face is eerily smiling at you.

Everything goes dark, and your head begins aching. It gets worse and worse. It's so bad that you can't feel the flower youkai disemboweling you. You only feel a warm sensation (the feeling of your own blood flowing down your crotch and legs) as your belly becomes lighter. You collapse. You finally realize what's happening. You try to reach out. You feel a leg. Then, you feel a skirt. You look up into the blackness so that she can see your face, as you silently beg for mercy. And then you feel it, that immense pressure of something digging in your brain and smashed through your skull. A flood of warm liquid bursts out of your mouth. It's not vomit. You know what it is. You've been killed by the flower youkai putting a flower inside of your brain. You feel her next to you as you slip into an even darker space. "Ah, fresh food for my little flowers." This is definitely something moe. Youkai moe~

>>2489164
"Are you going to eat me?"
"Yes"
"But i am fat and full of calories, you really don't want to eat me"

>>2489174
i wish i could write storys

just so i could write one where anon beats the shit out of you're toouhou

>>2489175
"Are you going to eat me?"
"Yes"
*punch*
"FUCK YOU BITCH NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO"

>>2489093
say i'm in fact a masochist and have angry and painful sex?

>>2489184
Anon is more credible being bullied

>>2489199
yeah but fantasy is fantasy, and if we're writing storys about youkai killing people, we should write storys about people killing youkai

possibly rape

either way

>>2489195
Enjoy having your testicles ripped off.

>>2489208
by who?

some fake thing made up by a jap?

>>2489208
before or after i cum?

>>2489217
>made up by a jap
>touhou
What?

>>2489217
REALITY JUST KICKED IN YO

just play along, I think damn obvious its fake, hurr

>Touhous
>fake
More real than you, Anonymous. Have you ever made me feel warm inside?

NO.

>>2489224
play along? heh sorry not, i'm far too mature for pathetic games of "pretend"

why don't you kids grow up and get over your silly little cartoon game characters

>>2489235
nobody gives a fuck

>>2489238
back to /v/, please

>>2489238
>>i'm far too mature

if you are so old to have lost your inner child then what are you doing using a computer?

>>2489241
You see?

This thread went into the shitter.

>>2489238
>i'm far too mature

>>2489258
atleast it didnt go down the powerlevel shitter

Yuka is the strongest Touhou

Could Yuka beat Shiki?

This thread is missing something...what is it...

OH!

i fucked you're touhou

"Are you going to eat me?"
"yes"
*grabs dick*

You do not want to eat me Yuka. I am just skin and bones.

And I have AIDS.

>>2489345
Don't tell her that. If she eats you, you've still won.

AIDS can beat Yuka.

Ah c'mon guys.

Yuka is a sweet youkai girl whom would never eat a human unless she had a good reason to. As long as one does not provoke or pose a threat she is civil. I bet complimenting her on her stunning beauty would rouse a blush as she would not be used to such praise, especially from a human.

I don't have to worry, because I'm not the kind of douche who would go about burning her field or fucking with plants for no good reason.

If I met her in the village, I'd say 'hi', she's surprisingly polite.

Oh yeah, like Yuka is going to be some blushing maiden. She's one of the older youkai. The ones that smile creepily for little reason and do things on a whim, but not very often. Perhaps you'll pique her interests for the odd response, or perhaps she'll ignore you like the nothing you are.

Now someone like Reimu complimenting her appearance, that would warrant a reaction.

>>2489278
That's what you guys said about Cirno too.

Hmm. Am I the only one who thought of trying to make ammends by helping/offering to plant a 1000 flowers？

Failing that, at least I get to meet Yuyuko.

>>2489382
>the kind of douche who would go about burning her field or fucking with plants for no good reason.
sounds like me, I hate fucking flowers with a passion, useless plants, atleast trees provide timber

>>2489402
Compliment on her appearance from a male? Ignored

Compliment on her appearance from a female? BLUSH

>>2489402
>She's one of the older youkai. The ones that smile creepily for little reason and do things on a whim, but not very often. Perhaps you'll pique her interests for the odd response, or perhaps she'll ignore you like the nothing you are.

Then what would Yukari do?

>>2489461

I can't imagine Yuka blushing, she's a prime example of youkai mentality. By reaction I didn't mean blush, I mean someone as strong as Reimu (well, power levels aside, Reimu has beaten her at least once) giving her a compliment would get a rise from her. Unfortunately there are few men who enter that catagory, maybe some of the faceless youkai hunters... but given what we've heard so far they sound like they deal with average youkai at best. Yuka is pretty beyond that league.

>>2489472

Yukari seems like the type who would take compliments well from anyone. Whether you get anything for your trouble is a different matter. I can't imagine Yukari not being used to being told that she's pretty now and again, in Gensokyo it's understandable they can spot youkai so its rare, but Yukari has lived a long time and seems to come and go from Gensokyo at will.

>>2489485
Yuka is weak. Even Rumia or Wriggle could beat her.

What is she going to do, make a flower grow at your feet?

>>2489500
Don't most think that Yukari is some weirdo?

>>2489500
You'd probably get a "My, my" with a hand held on the cheek.

>>2489504
>Yuka is weak. Even Rumia or Wriggle could beat her.
Wriggle would raise a hand against her.

>>2489504
she can summon naruto who will summon ichigo who will usmmon jotaro and he will kill wriggle and lumia

>>2489542
Aren't bug types strong against plant types?

>>2489500
>I can't imagine Yukari not being used to being told that she's pretty now and again,

But how many humans have seen her? She is always napping and doesn't wonder about human settlements I guess. But she has lived long enough to experience some compliment on her beauty I suppose. But I still take it anyone as old as her would still like complimented on how young she still looks. What older woman doesn't?

Fight Yuka in a field of flowers?

This sounds familiar...

Hold on, lemme grab my Mk22.

>>2489551
Wouldnt happen dumbass wriggle would summon goku and rumia would summon vegeta and they'd fuse into gogeta and he'd kick everyones ass

>>2489508

That's why I said it would be rare in Gensokyo. Those that know her don't think highly of her because she seems to be scheming and she's youkai. Everyone else she's youkai or at least dressed like one.

Point was, Yukari can visit places other then Gensokyo. So it wouldn't be surprising she's had positive human contact before.

>>>2489504

Sure is trollan there. Yuka is established as one of the older stronger youkai hanging around, but being a old youkai she is surprisingly capable of being respectful when respect is given (most people at least treat the civil youkai as elders, because chances are they are). It's fair to assume that when she went to bully the others in PoFV she wasn't going all out, where is the fun in just blasting down all the young cocky youkai?

Anyways I'm not saying she's the strongest and I want to avoid power level crap, it's just accepted she's one of the stronger, older youkai hanging about.

>>2489586
except naruto jotaro would summon buu and he would kick gogetas ass
>>2489573
Can a lvl 5 caterpie beat a lvl 100 venusaur???

>>2489592
ya but then gogeta would call sephiroth and hed kill buu with one slice

>>2489508
Her train of thought is, like most youkai's are, not the same as humans.

What this exactly means I'm not sure. Do they find things funny that we would not?

youkais are smalltime

come back when you can ravage entire realities like void demons

>>2489575

Like I said, Yukari would take compliments well and would enjoy it. Whether she would give you anything in return for it depends on her whims I suppose. I was saying she's probably used to it, not that it happens all the time. When you are over a thousand years old you learn how to handle a lot of things.

>>2489592
More like, can a Level 100 Beedrill beat a Level 2 Bellsprout?

>>2489622
No it cant.
bellsprout can resist poison and bug because its poison too

Only a matter of time now before someone writes a self insert fan fiction using the scenario of waking up in Gensokyo and becoming part of the village, only to pleasantly meet Yuka while passing the flower shop not realising she's a monster.

>>2489636
bellsprout isnt poison type u newfagget and even if it was its lvl 2 dude fuckin tackle would kill it from a level 100

>>2489636
its fuckin lvl 2 u newfagget even tackle from a level 100 would kill it

>>2489654
>beedril
>tackle
wow am i talking to a fucking noob or what??

>>2489661
wow scrub lrn2read i didnt even say bedrill lerned tckle im sayin any lvl 100 that uses it on a lvl 2 will kill the lvl2

in bedrills case poison sting would rape bellsprout even w/ its poison type

and ffs look at bedrils base atk compared 2 bellsprotus base def u dumb?

>>2489504
Where did you read she could grow flowers, you gigantic chucklefuck
She cannot.

This thread went from flowers to fertilizer. :(

Ran would definitely blush if a compliment on her appearance was given to her.

>>2489773

Hey, baby... you got nice tits.

>>2489779
This is why you should stay inside.

>>2489779

Are those space bloomers? Because those tails and ass are outta this world.

>>2489773
I love your fluffy tails and your cute ears

Youkai moe.

>>2489779
Are you giving lessons on how to breathe? Cause' I think I've forgotten.

>>2489779
Is heaven missing an angel? Because I've got an erection.

>>2489779
>>2489814
>>2489820
>>2489832
>>2489847

>>2489773
whilst on my mission to infiltrate the gap youkai's place of residence, in order to gather more information about any kinds of plans she might have against the humans, i run into one of her shikigami. a nine tailed fox named Ran. i've heard of her power as a servant to the great youkai, Yukari.

She finally sees me. in a fit of panic i run. i run as far as my legs can take me, then they give out on me. i have no hope left. i take a seat in Yukari's house, waiting for the fox to come and deposit my soul into the afterlife. she rounds the corner. i give it one last shot and decide to say the last thing on my mind before i die, "so... baby... you come here often?"

>>2489875

>>2489875

Is this a good reaction or a bad reaction, I can't tell.

But tell me, did that hurt? You know, when you fell from heaven.

>>2489875
Do you always raise your tails or are you just happy to see me

>>2489875
Nice hat. Wanna fuck?

>>2489758
x4 Weakness to fire?

>>2489897
>>2489903
>>2489926
>>2489939

>>2489950
lets get kinky

>>2489950

Man, you sure take a turn after the wedding day.

Oh Ran, this mere human does not deserve to lay his eyes upon such an angelic, sexy, breathtakingly beautiful woman such as yourself.

>>2489968

Just like 99.99% of females.

>>2489997
Wow, what the fuck? That's some sexist bullshit.

The real percentage is 100

>>2490005
I'm not sexist.
Because sexism is a crime, and crime is for black people

>>2489987

>>2490021
Did I mention you have a nice rack?

>>2490016
Don't be racist towards people.

blacks aren't people

Ran, to me, would be the nicest out of all the youkai.

Her and China.

>>2490127

>>2489967
I do believe that Touhous rather get "magical".

What exactly did she do to be considered a threat in Lotus Land Story anyway?

>>2491049
Nothing. Reimu just decided to break into someone else's home, wake up it's owner and attack them because they weren't human.

>>2491124
>its

>>2488242
And that's Kanna...

Strongest among them would be Suika, Flandre, Yuyuko or Yukari

>>2489758
HAHAHAHAAHA
Silly lolzors

>>2491049
How is that even moving?

>>2491472
It's powered by LOVE.

And pain.